And the Moron of the Week Award for the Final Week of 2007 Goes To...

I was watching TV on Christmas Day and while flipping channels during commercials for A Christmas Story on TBS.... I went over to Channel 9 with its traditional little kiddie spot. It went something like this... "Hi my name is Jimmy and my daddy works at Channel 9.. and he is really pissed off that the NFL took Saturday's exclusive My9 broadcast of the Giants-Patriots game and allowed it to be simulcast on CBS and NBC!"

By the way that was quite clever of Bob's Discount Furniture to use the term "double dog dare" in his commercial that aired after the double dog dare tongue on the flagpole scene of the movie!

The original idea was to run Pumpstradamus's psychic predictions and take a week off from the column since I am on vacation this week. But a few things have been going on this week so I decided to cobble together some stuff and edit the Pumpy multimedia podcast for New Years Week!

Here are some items in the news this final week of 2007.

THE MOST INCREDIBLE POKER HAND IN FIVE CARD STUD

Yep, it happened to me on Christmas Night at The Taj. I hit a Royal Flush in a game of 5 card stud which according to the mathematicians has odds of 1 in 650,000. Thank you very much Donald Trump for that extra 500+ dollars! I won it on a 75 cent bet on the double down stud video game; however it was after 1 in the morning and neither Trophy Wife nor myself noticed through our sleepy eyes that after 4 cards were dealt that I was one short of hitting the best hand of any five card deal - and since I rarely double down for a flush I just hit the deal button, wrongly thinking it was just a regular ol' flush and not a royal flush. Yeah I know I should have doubled down for a Royal Flush but I didnt even realize what I had... and Trophy Wife seems to think that the machines are rigged that you only win the flushes and the straights when you do NOT double down. Interesting theory. By the way, as soon as we hit the jackpot, we cashed out and bolted out of there before the temptation would strike to try to give Mr. Trump back some of his shekels!!

MORE AL SHARPTON HYPOCRISY

I also have been following this John White trial in Suffolk County. This is the guy who shot and killed young Daniel Cicciaro. IF you havent followed the story Cicciaro was white and White is black. There was apparently a skirmish developing between Cicciaro and White's son and Cicciaro came to Whites house to confront him. However, White came out of the house with a gun... walked to the end of his driveway and during a confrotation he shot this poor kid to death claiming the gun accidentally went off.

White was convicted over the weekend and in a reaction that was begging for Al Sharpton's big mouth, White's supporters claim the jury was racist because White is black. Isn't that the stupidest thing you have ever heard? If Cicciaro had stormed into the house and been shot, it would be extremely reasonable that White not be charged if he shot the kid in self defense. But the fact that the White supporters falsely claim that this is how it went down is incredibly misleading. The fact is that Cicciaro and his friends were on the sidewalk at "the end of the driveway" and that White took the gun, and walked all the way out to the sidewalk to confront and ultimately shoot Cicciaro.

Now that idiot Al Sharpton is getting involved. He plans to lead a protest and cause more trouble in the town where the crime took place protesting the jury's conviction of White. I don't have an issue with people rallying for a cause - but when it comes to Sharpton I don't have the patience for his cowardly hypocrisy. Sharpton lies (or doesn't get it) that the crime took place when the gang of white kids stormed into the White house.... White says Cicciaro was shot because his gun "accidentally" went off... and that is ok enough for Al Sharpton to protest the jury's decision... yet when a hero Roselle, NJ cop shot a kid who refused to surrender to police when caught outside a Roselle drug den, the fact that the hero cop's gun "accidentally" went off apparently is impossible to comprehend for Sharpton and his gang of double standard hypocrites.

Amazingly the World of Sharpton feels that White was ok for shooting that kid but Imus should have lost his job for his Rutgers comments in April. This year ended beautifully with the firing of Ron Kuby from WABC as Imus took away his show. . The now silenced Kuby is the same moron who defended a crazed black man that murdered innocent people on a Long Island Railroad Train using the incredibly ridiculous notion of "white rage" that had pent up in his client causing him to kill a train car filled with innocent people! Imus by the way was off this week making you wonder why he worked 3 wks just to take a vacation. However I believe it was his fundraising for cancer kids which Sharpton sabotaged... people who make donations to the Imus ranch in '07 get the tax write off - which I presume is the reason the I-man came back in December instead of waiting for the New Year. WABC goes into 2008 as possibly the best lineup of Radio Legends. Imus is on in the morning, Paul Harvey does his commentary, Bob Grant is on late at night... Rush is on at noon and John Gambling's son is on after Imus.


CHRISTMAS EVE EDITORIAL

This is not the type of column I would do before Christmas... but now that it's over I must really take offense to an editorial in Monday's Star Ledger that was originally published in The Baltimore Sun. The editorial which ran on Christmas Eve is titled "Jews in Mixed Marriages Should Get Past Guilt and Make Merry".

First of all the article is written by a dude named Arthur Blecher. whose pronunciation of his name coincides with the noise one makes when bringing up phlegm or mucus. He is the Rabbi of a synagogue in Washington DC that is a "Humanistic" congregation which means these are people whose identity with Judaism is basically secular and/or cultural and the actual belief in God is pretty much optional. He conducts Shabbat services once a month in a local church - according to the Temple's website the actual service lasts approximately 10 minutes. Yom Kippur services must be a blast - especially the prayer about how God seals one fate - I guess these wackadoodles throw in a caveat - IF there is a God!

Now that we have established the writers "credentials", the editorial basically states that intermarried Jews shouldn't feel guilty about celebrating Christmas. We had some friends over on Monday night and there on the news was Mayor Bloomberg outside St. Patrick's Cathedral all excited for the mass. He said he attends even though he is Jewish as did former Jewish mayor Ed Koch. I wonder if Bloomie spends as much time at the synagogue on Yom Kippur as he does at St Patricks on Christmas Eve.

Blecher actually writes in his waste of space editorial that the Jewish intermarrieds guilt of celebrating Xmas is due to what he calls the false notion that intermarriage is causing the number of Jews to dwindle. In reality if it wasn't for the huge families and low intermarriage rates of the Ultra Orthodox and the Hasidim, the Jewish numbers would be incredibly low thanks to the intermarrieds. And these chusids whose wives never have headaches are running into serious socio economic problems with their incredibly huge families. Blecher also seems to say it's ok for intermarrieds to spend some guilt free time buying and decorating a tree. But how much time should be spent on that versus the amount of time spent for Passover Seders. Amazingly, Blecher claims its ok for his congregants to go on celebrate the birth of Jesus, yet at the same time questiion the existence of God. And then he says the audacity to say that we are not losing our Jewish population!


This week's Moron of the Week Award should have been me for not doubling down on a potential Royal Flush - yet even though Al Sharpton deserves kudos... you really have to give the Moron of the Week Award to Arthur Blecher and his incredibly stupid editorial that wasted valuable Star Ledger newspaper space that should have gone to "Yes Viriginia, There is a Santa Claus!"

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: The late season swoon continues for Pumpy as he lost yet again last week dropping to 10-6... keep in mind at one point he was 10-2! Last year he finished 10-6-1 so he needs a win to beat last year's record. This week one of the only meaningful games is Washington hosting Dallas where the Skins are 9 point faves in a game that means nothing to the Cowboys. Sayeth the Pump: "I predict the Skins will start a huge home slump this weekend that will carry over into 2008 since a Redskins home win prior to the election means the incumbent party wins. The slide starts now and continues past Election Day! Take The Cowboys!!"

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK - Hey we ran the table last week to clinch a winning record of 25-21-2. I am incredibly as many games over .500 as Pumpstradamus!! Last month he was +8 while I was -1. This week since The Giants game is meaningless to them,. lets pick the 3 most meaningless games of the week.

Chiefs 6 1/2 doggies over THE JETS - Which team sucks more?
MIAMI 3 doggies over The Bengals - See above
Rams 6 doggies over ARIZONA - Let's make it a 3 Dog Night!

CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK

Tom'w December 29th marks 6 years since I met Trophy Wife!! It also is 2 years since I was hit by a bird during our trip to Florida. Here is that classic clip:





HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!

The TV Quarterly Report

Twas The Night Before Christmas
And All Through The Plaza...
There Were All the Jews
Cheering Avi Maza!

Ok that doesn't quite rhyme... How about this??

Twas The Night Before Christmas
As I sped to see Maza
Got Caught by a cop
who zapped me with his tasa!


Yes folks.... for the 2nd straight year, my Temple will be sponsoring a terrific show with The Avi Maza Orchestra - it starts at 7pm at The East Brunswick Jewish Center. It costs 40 at the door! Admission includes a Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet All You Can Eat Dinner. The event will be at 511 Ryders Lane in East Brunswick, NJ - Music will include "The Great American Songbook" - featuring songs by Jewish artists including Mama Cass which makes you wonder if they will do "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire!"

As I have written in my annual Christmas column, being a Jew on Xmas has its advantages. Yes, I don't mind if folks wish me a merry, and some of my co-workers actually bought my tall tale about my side job as a mall Santa. Or was it a Tall Tale??

As usual, Christmas for this Yid will be the Maza concert and as many of my movie trifecta as I can watch. And since the TV writers are on strike and almost all the good shows ran out of new episodes, the tube is gonna be quite blase over the coming months. As usual, I have 12 A Christmas Story options since TBS is running it for 24 consecutive hours, Scrooged for some bizarre reason is not on the schedule this season ! and there was another movie I thought may be a possible replacement, The Family Stone will air Tuesday night at 6:45 PM on Cinemax and of course there is the classic - "It's a Wonderful Life" which airs Monday Night on NBC.

But once the Christmas movies wrap up - what will be left to watch on TV? Just a bunch of crap thanks to the strike! The late night talk shows will be back on January 2, but its a catch 22 - if Letterman, Conan and that no talent Jay Leno come up with funny material, then it minimizes the writer's impact - but if they suck... well then its just more garbage on TV.. but until this strike is settled it's just going to be a few selected scripted shows that have unaired episodes such as Lost and Jericho, reality shows, and American Idol destroying everybody else in the ratings. However in looking back at the Fall Preview, there are a few shows that have grown on me this season.. including...

THE BEST NEW SHOW.

Last fall, NBC took honors for this prize with their revolutionary Monday night Heroes show... a program about a bunch of people with superheroes who through a series of events end up teaming up together to save the world. NBC looked like it had really taken over the night with this falls introduction of JOURNEYMAN, but strangely enough the network has given it as much support as Nickleodeon will give the show with that little teenaged Spears slut who just ended up pregnant. I don't know what NBC is thinking, but unless they come to their senses... this show just aired its final episode on Wednesday night. NBC hasn't ordered any more episodes and if that doesn't change, our time traveling hero Dan Vasser has taken his final trip to the past. The show is impossible to describe.. Dan has these uncontrollable time travel missions where he goes to the past to fix something. He is helped by his now dead fiancee whose disappearance many years back was part of her time traveling to her future since she really lives in the 1940s. The show built some pretty cool backstory and layered it together quite well, although a weird FBI agent's investigation of Dan ended up flat.. but since the actor used to be Ryan Chapelle on 24, it wasn't such a big deal. However, due to the writing strike where the only writing left was on the wall - the show was going to be toast after its initial 13 episodes.

Last year, the Jericho fans sent nuts to CBS execs because it related to that show's plot and with all those nuts pouring in CBS relented and is bringing the show back. As I pointed out in the comments section on TV critic Alan Sepinwall's blog, Monday's episode revelated that the son on Journeyman was conceived when his parents got frisky during a SF Giants game. So on the heels of the CBS-nuts-Jericho mailing campaign, I think that since Barry Bonds played for The Giants, Journeyman fans should mail steroids to NBC. Can you imagine Journeyman fans sneaking into NBC headquarters and injecting corporate bigshots with a shot of steroids in the tushy? Unless NBC comes to its senses, the only journeyman I will get to see is the parade of drek that will come out of the Mets bullpen starting in April.

3 NEW SHOWS FOR THE FALL TOP 14 LIST

In the fall preview we named 14 shows to watch this season... Now that 2007 is done, I am taking 3 off that list - Tell Me You Love Me finished its run on HBO, as did Phenomenon on NBC. In addition, The Singing Bee is going to lose its slot since it has been off also, although its going to be coming back. Here are the 3 shows to replace them....

DONT FORGET THE LYRICS- Yep, Fox was watching The Singing Bee on NBC.. stole the idea... and then remade it in a much more entertaining and exciting format. It's kind of like Who Wants to be a Millionaire meets karaoke.. and Wayne Brady is the perfect host for this show.. although his James Brown bit the other week was a bit odd where all of a sudden, he just started singing and dancing with the 2007 version of Jan and Diane - Motion from the Old Deney Terio Dance Fever! The show is very slickly produced and extremely entertaning, and stole a page from Deal or No Deal by building to a cliffhanger moment and then tossing it to commercial.

30 ROCK - I just started watching it a few weeks ago and I like the Alec Baldwin acting job. His portrayal of the swarmy TV executive is quite hysterical - especially now that the extreme right winger is dating a liberal lawmaker whose story was told in a bizarre Lifetime movie called A Dog Took My Face And Gave Me a Better Face So I Could Change the World. The cool thing about this show is it is really funny. I see that 30 Rock along with the newer comedies not on the CBS Monday Night lineup have pretty much dumped the laugh track. However, other than the five card hand of Seinfeld, Cheers, Frasier, How I Met Your Mother, and Roseanne.. have any sitcoms since 1990 actually been.... funny?? Nope. The laugh track was really the chance for producers to hang themselves out to dry because it told the viewers what was "supposed to be" funny... and then we as the viewer could count how many laugh track jokes just weren't funny to see how much a sitcom was really striking out. Now without the laugh track... we the viewer lose a major barometer! Yet the audience laughs at Leno for some reason.

And the last slot goes to GRETA VAN SUSTEREN ON FOX NEWS - I was leaning towards How I Met Your Mother which I am watching again.. but Greta will singlehandedly get credit when an arrest is made in the disappearance of Staci Peterson. Even if the creepy hubby didn't do it, at this point it is really hard to believe that this woman just staged her own disappearance. Yet Greta got on this story right off the bat, and within days that she vanished, must have held a preproduction charades meeting where she tapped her ear and told players it "sounds like Laci Peterson". Her crew jumped on this story full throttle, which led to the reopening of the mysterious death of the often married husband's 3rd wife. I might have put Private Practice on this list... but frankly I only watch it to drool over Kate Walsh.

So what do we have to look forward to next year? Well more reality shows are headed our way - along with some game shows.. Duel has looked kind of good so far.. although Mike Greenberg doesn't really impress me as a host. Greenberg kept saying the same things over and over....You're watching Duel on ABC. What would he say if he was hosting a reality show with old people?? You're watching Drool on ABC? And 1 vs. 100 is coming back soon too. But as long as the strike goes on, it's going to be more hockey for me. Tuesday Night I watched the Devils play the Canucks.. it was the Devils first trip to Vancouver since December 29, 2001 - which just so happens to be the day I met my lovely wife!!



PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - So here we are at the tail end of 2007 - The Year of Vladimir Putin who will become the new powerful Russian Prime Minister and make his former Presidential Post largely ceremonial... just as they do in Israel. Pumpstradamus has already predicted that he will be here next week with a special podcast with his 2008 predictions. I just took a listen to last year's predictions where not only did he accurately predict The Colts Super Bowl Win... but he also predicted that the next celebrity caught without panties would be... Richard Simmons.

Pumpy's late season swoon continues!! Last week he lost again dropping to 10-5 - his 3rd consecutive loss! For this week, we take a quote directly from A Christmas Story - "I see that the Bears are playing Green Bay on Sunday". The Packers are 8 1/2 point faves.. Sayeth The Pump: "Well since Brett Favre is SI Sportsman of the Year.. in his honor I take his team the Bears". When informed that Favre is on the Packers, he announced his pick as Green Bay! Next week Pumpy will learn to pronounce Mike Krzycewski!


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: :Last week we went 1-2 again to drop to 22-21-2... Anyway maybe we jumped the gun last week looking at the Giants potential first round opponents.. although they could actually lose Sunday and still make the playoffs!!

Giants 3 faves over BUFFALO - Do not even think about losing this game and the alternative of needing a win against New England! Although, one loss by The Saints and The Skins will get The Giants in. But backdoor clinches = first round losses. Time for the Giants to take The Buffalo by the Horn!

Philly 3 doggies over NEW ORLEANS - Sorry about Katrina.. I'm still rooting against the Saints!

Washington 6 1/2 doggies over MINNESOTA - The skins will be eliminated Sunday... but at least they will cover the spread.


CLIP OF THE WEEK;

What else would I put up this week? Fragileeeeee It Must be Italian!

A Letter to Blogspot

Dear Mr. Blogspot,

Hi its Nate from Nate's World of Words. Got a question about the sick days package with Blogspot... Y'see I have this weekly commitment to provide football picks and I have been sick all week with bronchitis. Do I still have to do a regular column too or can I just do picks and a Clip of the Week?

I started feeling sick on Sunday morning... we had about 30 people over the night before, and both Pumpstradamus and Musical Genius Neil Fein came over with their colds... but I don't blame them for this bug.... DAS had a cold too, but he blames it on the Republicans that we don't have good health care in America.

Speaking of liberals it was neat to hear Alan Colmes on with Imus this morning. I got a kick out of how Imus had no recollection of where he was when WNBC went off the air with Alan at the helm and switched the 66 singnal over to WFAN while Imus was live.... at Shea Stadium. But I couldn't believe it when Alan said he thought Edwards was going to win the Democratic nomination because of his hair... it's all about the hair!! That is exactly what I said here on NWOW back on October 25th!

I did put together the Clip of the Week. As you know my Temple, the place where I met Trophy Wife back on December 29, 2001 is sponsoring a fantastic show that answers the age old question "What do you do Christmas Eve if you are Jewish"? And we welcome those of you who googled their way over here after asking that question! Well this year our Temple along with East Brunswick Jewish Center is sponsoring a fantastic show starring singer Avi Maza. It will be held on December 24th starting at 7pm at The East Brunswick Jewish Center on 511 Ryders Lane in East Brunswick, NJ. Avi is known for doing shows and bar/bat mitzvahs and weddings.. heck we would have used him for our wedding, if we knew he would allow Trophy Wife to grab a microphone and sing along as she did that fateful day! Anyway, I have been helping out with the publicity and Avi sent me some video and music he had done.. and voila we have a promotional video! Avi's show will be "The Great American Songbook" featuring music by legendary Jewish singers such as Manilow, Streisand, Gershwin, The Beastie Boys, etc. Just kidding about The Beastie Boys. And you won't have to fight for your right to party because as you can see... Avi puts on a great show. And on top of that, they will have an All You Can Eat Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet! The price is $40... 36 in advance if you call 732-545-6482. Now aren't you happy you googled "What is there to do for a Jew on Christmas Eve?"



And as a add on bonus... here is another slightly different version that was the original promo. A couple of graphics are different, and the music is slightlly altered...




Anyway Mr. Blogspot, I spent Wednesday at home watching my first Drew Carey episode of The Price is Right... coincidentally it was Bob Barker's b'day. It's nice to see Drew with his Barker-esque reminder to help control the pet population - and I was really amazed that the showcase showdown actually had a very familiar theme song come up. I stood up in my couch like a bolt when I heard the Match Game music come on and saw that the models mismatched answers was actually the prize in the showcase - Good thing the answer wasn't old Match Game '7x favorite "tinkle"! I would have known I was delirous if the ghosts of Brett, Chuck and Gene would have appeared on the screen... but alas it was not to be.

The other thing I watched that day was the annual Dateline NBC Ann Curry update of the McCaughey Septuplets who are now 10 years old. I can't wait till down the road in one of the annual specials that they have become unruly teenagers and if God forbid one of them shows starts dating a tattooed guy with a Harley! Can you imagine if one of the boys on the 18th special tries to put the shmaneuver on the ageless Ann Curry?

The 11 o'clock news came on next but all it was that night was teases touting the infamous Mitchell Report that was going to out the players who were taking steroids. I really don't know why baseball continues to shoot itself in the foot by airing its dirty laundry. Don't they know how to manage their PR and put on a happy face and make everything sweet and sugary for the little pishers who love baseball and the memoribilia store owners who make a ton of profits in the 2 wks before Christmas? What does publicizing these names accomplish??

The strike from 1994 crippled the game and just by luck it was able to bounce back the following year when Cal Ripken broke Lou Gehrig's game playing record for baseball to look fun again. And even urban legend has it that Ripken's streak would have ended earlier than it did but a game was postponed when he caught his wife in bed with a famous actor and was too distraught to attend, so the Orioles "faked" a stadium lighting problem forcing the game's postponement. The story is apparently just an urban legend... but the fact is that if it was any unknown player whose wife was found in bed with an actor, we would shrug it off since actors and actresses apparently have sex with anybody. If that is the case, doesn't the publication of this steroid list by MLB do the same image damage that the acting world would do if they listed every actor and actress that had adulterous sex in order to earn a job! I don't see that list being published, and theoretically adultery violates one of the ten commandments so isn't that worse than steroids?

Finally Mr. Blogspot, I decided that I needed to sleep so I popped in some comfort food into the dvd player... "The Sound of Music".... the legendary Rogers and Hammerstein musical and the cure to soothe all of us who have a fever. I also had been reading through an old book of cartoons written by the legendary Bil Keane of The Family Circus but as I drifted off to cough medicine induced sleepy-land, I had the strangest dream. It was like a long movie trailer with a narrator...



Bil Von Keane led the charmed life. A retired Navy Captain, his life was filled with structure and discipline. Every morning after he woke up at precisely 0600, he drew a circle and moments later had a funny cartoon about his kids. The early successes of his cartoons gave him the opportunity to publish many books along with book signings across the country including a Barnes and Noble in NJ where he had the opportunity to once meet Former NJ Governor Tom Kean prompting Von Keane to declare.. "Why the hell do you pronounce your name cane? It should be Keane!"

Buyers of his books noticed something very interesting. On the back covers it had a biography of Bil Von Keane which told people that he was the father of 5 kids. But in The Family Circus strip.. there was only Billy, Jeffy, Dolly and PJ. What happened to the 5th kid? Why wasn't the 5th kid in the strip? What could that kid have done that was so bad to be left out of the strip?? Did Von Keane once threaten.. ."Either you finish your Brussells Sprouts... or I am dropping you from the comic strip!" Did he hit Dolly in the head with a frying pan?

The kids were a bit much.. as was his wife. She always complained that she only had one hairstyle change since 1950. Ultimately he befriended 2 young boys who were hired to "take care of her". Actually they ended up adopting her as their mom and she was always baking and cooking and sewing and the young men never drove her nuts. It was a nice arrangement.. she even changed her hairstyle on a regular basis. Later on she studies Kabballah and like Madonna, changed her name to Esther.

But Bil Von Keane was a strict disciplinarian and he knew he needed help with the kids and the house. He hired an ex nun named Maria to be their governess. He was always entertaining guests at his big house and every evening prior to bedtime all the children had to come to the steps to bid the guests Good Night. And every night it was the same. Von Keane stepped forward... blew his whistle and each child stepped forward and announced his name...

"Billy"

"Jeffy"

"Dolly"

"PJ"

"The Fifth Kid"...

And then they would all join in... "So Long, Farewell, auf weedershen adieu... Adieu Adieu to You and You and You and You and You.... Doo doo doo doo doo.

But a lot of secrets were hidden in the Von Keane house. Dolly had a telegram delivery friend named Elmo who lived near Dagwood Bumstead. Elmo used to spend a lot of quiet moments with her in the Von Keane gazebo. But Dolly was starting to lose Elmo... as the delivery boy was getting seduced by a growing militia from the Evil German Empire. The Germans were trying to persuade Von Keane to show his support for the incoming German regime...and join their military... but he refused! Ultimately the Von Keanes had to leave town, but just as their escape was complete there facing them with a drawn pistol was... Elmo??


Thankfully Trophy Wife woke me up at that point to remind me to take my medicine to help me sleep!

Thanks for your consideration Mr. Blogspot. I am almost 100% better and I plan to have my usual silliness posted right here next week!

Sincerely,

Nate from Nate's World of Words


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: What's happening with Pumpie? He lost again last week dropping to 10-4. This week we go to New Jersey which is now the first state to repeal the death penalty. This week, The Jets travel to New England, where the Patriots are a historical 23 1/2 point favorite. Pump was very proud because he heard Frank Deford talking about Bill Belichick on NPR.. "Is he with the Jets" asked the Pump... When informed that he is the Patriots Coach, the Pump said.. "Frank Deford is the Patriots coach?" Moments later he had his pick ready: "Since my friend Barry is a Patriots fan, and since Barry is helping us with the Avi Maza concert.. in his honor I take the Patriots!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we went 1-2 to get to 21-19-2. This week let's start predicting the downfall of the Giants prospective first round opponents since it looks like they have pretty much wrapped up a playoff spot.

GIANTS 4 1/2 faves over Washington - Gosh a prime time game where a win would clinch a playoff spot? Why does this game make me sooooo nervous?

Atlanta 13 1/2 doggies over TAMPA BAY - It's been a rough week for the Falcons - especially after their coach bolted for Arkansas and former QB Michael Vick pretty much said adios to his teammates.

CAROLINA 7 1/2 doggies over Seattle - I see a late season pre playoff swoon for the Giants probable first round opponents... Hopefully it won't be the Giants who have the swoon.


BONUS CLIP OF THE WEEK; From the subliminal seduction department.... since the Avi Maza Christmas Eve Show features Chinese Food... here is a song about Jews eating Chinese Food on Christmas! Mmmmmm Yummy.,... The song is called "Chinese Food on Christmas",... but I renamed it Chinese Food and Avi Maza on Christmas!

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - A Movie Club Column

Well folks.. it is Movie Club time as we present Part 2 of our 6 part James Bond series. Today it's George Lazenby in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". Here is the trailer...



Even though this is only my second Bond movie, it is the first and only movie starring George Lazenby... a rookie movie star who was not only starring in his first movie.. but was also appearing in his first movie!! Lazenby was a model at the time, and the producers thought he bore a strong enough resemblance to Sean Connery that he could easily slide right into the role. Despite his lack of experience and Connery's incredible popularity... Lazenby surprisingly more than holds his own in this very challenging role.

I didn't know much about the movie as I watched the opening credits other than what I had seen in Goldfinger and that the villian in this movie is a guy named Blofeld played by Telly Savalas. But as I watched the opening credits and thought about Blofeld and Goldfinger it reminded me of....... Bowfinger. The fact that Savalas was going to be in the same movie as Diana Rigg made me as excited as when I saw that Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy were both in Bowfinger. But OHMSS disappointed me the same way as Bowfinger because despite a strong cast, the story was weak... and the movie did not live up to my expectations. In OHMSS, Savalas and Rigg aren't on together till the very end.. and although the scenes are entertaining... it seems to be too little too late since we are already past the 2 hour mark in a way too long 2 hour 20 minute movie! Bowfinger.. Blofeld.. it just goes to show that sometimes the big anticipation leads to disappointment..

The opening of the movie sets the tone as Bond rescues Diana Rigg's Tracy... She is the daughter of mobster Marc Draco played by Garbriele Ferzeti... and his acting performance in this 1969 movie makes you think that he might have been the inspiration for Marlon Brando in The Godfather... except Ferzeti doesn't speak like he has a mouthful of marbles... Draco makes Bond an offer he can't refuse.. he wants him to marry his daughter... creating a potential opportunity for him to never turn down a request on the day of his daughter's wedding. But before there are any weddings, Bond has to spend the first few minutes rescuing his damsel from a dangerous situation on the beach. Bond the stud rescues her, but his advances towards her are rebuffed... prompting the new Bond to look to the camera and deadpan..."This never happened to the other fellow!" He also has another rib tickler when a villian dies by skiing into a snow blower. When the machine churns out snow that is red - Bond quips..."He had a lot of guts".

From there it's off to a hoity toity French casino..and again Tracy gets herself in a tight spot.. playing a card game and then losing.. without having the money to pay her bet. Bond bails her out yet again, and you can already see that this woman is going to be a royal pain in the tuchis. Incidentally the playing card sequences are a bit odd to look at. I don't know if it's the French cards or if this is how cards looked in the 60s.. but the playing cards have no numbers on them!.. And who wants to sit there and count if it is a nine or ten? And by the way... did you know in France they don't have a Jack in the deck? The card between 10 and Queen is actually called Valet!

The first part of the movie moves along at a snail's pace... . It would be about an hour before Savalas shows up... and then things really start getting good. But despite my impatience with the plodding first hour... there were a couple of interesting developments. Bond's latest gadget is a photocopy machine that also has a safe cracking mechanism... I guess if you don't have Heroes Peter Petrelli around, the gadget will do the job. Heroes also has a similar theme to this movie since the main plot involves Blofeld trying to release a virus that will give him world domination! And we also get a different look at women in this movie. especially with some insight into how valuable spy agency secretary Miss Moneypenny is to the whole operation... A frustrated Bond dictates his resignation letter, but instead Moneypenny types a 2 week vacation request which gets 007 a much needed break from all the craziness at his agency! Of course once Bond looks at all the gadgets he has collected over the years, he realizes he really can't tear himself away from his lifestyle.

We also get a different view of women in this Bond movie as James is not as casual about his relationship with Tracy as he is with other women in the Bond series. The entire premise that Draco could actually get Bond to settle down with his daughter seems like a stretch... everybody knows that Bond is not the marrying kind. That is why near the end the viewer is shocked stunned and mortified when studboy Bond indicates to Tracy that he wants to settle down with her. I am not going to give it away, but basically the rest of the movie is one stunner after another capped off with a jaw dropping climax. The odd thing about Lazenby's legacy is that Bond is not supposed to want to commit to one woman. Yet, in his one appearance.. Lazenby comes off as a more serious less Playboy-ish Bond.

The first hour of the film wasn't too exciting... basically it's up to Bond to find Blofeld and he parlays Draco's interest in making him his son in law into an opportunity to find him in his Swiss hideaway located way atop a mountain reachable only by ski lift which means the escape can only be done by thrilling incredible downhill ski sequences. As a big fan of Winter Olympic Ski Jumping these shots were incredible as Bond tries to escape the bad guys, The cameras were actually held by a man who was hanging suspended in mid air while flown high atop the mountains in a helicopter!!

Bond manages to infiltrate Blofeld's mountain retreat... the place is supposed to be an allergy research facility. And even though Bond manages to sneak up there posing as a genealogy researcher, Bond has those Bond hormones, and the research subjects turn out to be an international bevy of amazingly hot babes. The women, each from a different country have been "programmed" to release the virus. They get their final instructions while under hypnosis on Christmas Eve!

Speaking of Christmas Eve.. if you are Jewish.. and looking for something to do on Christmas Eve... here is a great solution to that annual "What the heck can a Jew do on Christmas Eve?" dilemma. My temple.. the same one where I met Trophy Wife 6 years ago, is hosting an event at The East Brunswick Jewish Center. It's a concert by Popular Singer Avi Maza and his fantastic band!.. We went last year and had a blast.. This year Maza will be doing "The Great American Songbook"....which is a playlist of popular music by Jewish artists. More details are at his website. The 40 at the door/36 in advance price includes a Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet.. which means it's all you can eat.. and frankly I've been starving myself since Thanksgiving! I'm volunteering on the committee this year.. it has been so much fun and we are really psyched for the show... plus there will still be plenty of time to get home to watch A Christmas Story Marathon which drives Trophy Wife up a wall because I keep yelling out "Fragilee? It Must Be Italian!"

Getting back to the movie, Lazenby's Bond is more competent than Connery's Bond was in Goldfinger... hormones are hormones and Bond can't resist his attempts to sneak out of his room and into the rooms of the chickies. That is ultimately his downfall however as Blofield catches him and "outs" him as 007. One thing I didnt know at the time I saw this was that Blofeld had met Bond in a prior movie.. but the movie release orders were switched around and since OHMSS was based very closely on the OHMSS book, the book's readers saw this as their first meeting.. but the movie viewers were scratching their heads at how Blofield didn't recognize the undercover Bond the first time he introduced himself as his alter ego.


I must admit I liked the acting, but like Bowfinger, despite some great casting.. I thought the story was just blah. I actually like Lazenby.. And Telly Savalas did his usual excellent job. The musical score was very well done. The cinematography was breathtaking... especially the ski races during the great escape from the mountain resort. A car chase involving an icy demolition derby was also entertaining to watch. But even though the Savalas storyline was exciting.. the first half was torturously slow...not quite waterboarding torture though and only worthy of one bladder.. but once Telly Savalas shows up... the pace and quality picked up considerably.... the rest is approximately a 3.5 bladder.. Therefore on a scale of one to four bladders... meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom....On Her Majesty's Secrest Service gets 2 1/2 bladders.

NEXT ---> Octopussy Starring Roger Moore.


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - Last week Pumpy went against the Giants and took a loss dropping his record to 10-3. This week in honor of the now unemployed illegal immigrants who used to work for Mitt Romney we travel to New England where the Patriots host the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Pats are 10 1/2 point faves. Sayeth The Pump: "Since this week's theme is James Bond and the fifth Bond was Pierce Brosnan... I gotta go with The Steelers since Brosnan used to be on Remington Steele. Plus I shaved with a Remington Razor this morning.


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we had our first 3-0 week improving to 20-17-2. By the way... about The Sunday Night Game... Is NBC doing some subliminal seduction? The players wear helmets manufactured by Ridell and the 11 o'clock post game newscast is anchored by Carol Ann.... Riddell! And if you're like me and watch her in HD.... homina homina homina.

Giants 3 doggies to PHILADELPHIA - Isn't it interesting how The Giants are road dogs to the Eagles, but were road faves over The Bears? Take Big Blue as they inch closer to a playoff berth!

Cards 7 doggies to SEATTLE - Who does a Giant fan root for? The Cards to get knocked out, or potential first round opponent Seattle to stumble to the finish line. I think Arizona will lose but cover.

49ERS 9 doggies to Minnesota - Wow.. 3 road doggies in one week... The Vikings look like they could be the 2nd wild card team.... but this week they will eat humble pie in a big upset.





CLIP OF THE WEEK;

This week we go to Kean-ascope Theater for a look back at the very moment I found out that Jacks in France are called Valet. This is from a cable restaurant show I used to do called "The Big Tippers Club".

Peace In The Middle East? Wouldn't That Be Dyno-Mite?

One of the interesting things I find about being exposed to Republicans is how they are so eager to force their right wing conservative living lifestyle on other people without even taking the time to comprehend what kind of life these people really lead. Mitt Romney told us with a straight face during the CNN You Tube debate that 2 parent households will solve black on black crime! The other day in a conversation about the shooting at that drug den in Roselle, a Republican implied that his limited exposure to the poor black community is watching Good Times on TV Land. The thing that always struck me odd about that show was the studio audience would sit there in such eager anticipation just waiting to hear Jimmie Walker yell out Dyn-o-mite! We were so wild and crazy back in the 70s, weren't we?

That's why today I want to talk about Israel.

This week in Annapolis MD they have had their little peace treaty talks, and as a right winger I really have a hard time feeling sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinians.... almost like the Republicans look at issues that affect the poor. Nonetheless, I always get turned off by the liberal Jews (not DAS though.. he claims to be a liberal, but despite what he says... he really isn't!). In 2002, shortly after the last summit where Arafat was chased down a parking lot by a high heeled Madeline Albright after he yet again totally sold the Palestinians down the river, a liberal was meowing to me about how rough it is for the Palestinians.. and I pointed out that Arafat ruined it for them because they were starting to get more economic power and were building casinos and becoming entrepeneurs yet their own people screwed them over.. He kept going on and on and on, and frankly his Jewish guilt bored me and I started daydreaming about Janet Jackson and how she came a long way since she played Penny on Good Times. I could never understand why these self hating Jews have so much compassion for people who elected Ismail Haniyeh the Hamas leader whose exact quote about Annapolis was that his people "will reject any concessions to The Zionist enemy". Now that's a great soundbite during peace talks.

Keep in mind that in 1948 after Israel took over from British rule, all these arabs got little text messages on their cell phones to vacate the premises because of an imminent attack. Then when Israel successfully defended themselves against the attack, all the Arabs wanted to come home. Not necessarily because they wanted to live in Israel, but because they can get a better lifestyle living there than they would get living anywhere else in the Middle East. Just check out the Palestinian elections.. they live in poverty while these Arafat clones show off how rich they are. A government run by a comatose Ariel Sharon would give these people a better lifestyle than they get right now. But when they plot against the government and commit treason... then you have a major problem; yet the liberals feel that Israel should do more.

One troubling aspect of this is the notion of freeing Palestinian terrorists who are in Prison. This has created an odd reaction among some right wingers who have compared the value of the lives of those prisoners' victims to Former Prime Minister Rabin with the call that if those prisoners should be freed... Rabin assassin Yigal Amir should be freed too. As much as I couldnt stand Rabin, there was no reason to kill the guy, and freeing Amir would send a very dangerous lesson to other nutjobs.

And one other thing, after Rabin was assassinated, they held a memorial service for him at Madison Square Garden. At that service Shimon Peres issued a very troubling quote triggering a "Watcha talking about Willis" moment just like when Arnold caught Willis in the middle of doing it with his girlfriend Charlene who was played by Janet Jackson. The quote was "There is an old saying To the Victor Go the Spoils.. but in Israel we give back the Spoils". My question is why and why is that not good enough for those wacky liberals? A peace treaty would be nice.. other Israel neighbors have signed them because they know they can't defeat the Israeli military so if you can't beat 'em.... why not get a good photo op?


Another guy I can't stand is Al Sharpton. And don't get my last week comments wrong, I feel bad for that teenage kid who was shot in that Roselle drug den recently. I also think that the cops that patrol there are heroes... and I am willing to give his mom's emotionally charged anti Roselle cop comments carte blanche since it must be excruciating to see her kid in a hospital injured from a gunshot wound. But what bothers me is The Sharptons who twist her raw emotions and start marching through Roselle trying to get a hero cop fired. And let's see these cop protestors walk a mile in a cop's shoes putting their lives on the line every day they go to work. The cop's Chief witnessed the incident and said the shooting was accidental... so whose word are we going to take? The cops or a kid caught red handed in a place he shouldn't have been. And I don't doubt his mom who says he has never done drugs.. that is likely to be true... but every drug consumer always has his first time. And it is the hero cops who patrol there on a daily basis who try to keep these kids from breaking their proverbial drug cherry.

Whatever the case may be, the Good Times Guy and his fellow Republicans are probably more upset that Janet Jackson flashed a nipple at the Super Bowl to fully realize how bad the drug trade affects crime against minorities in our cities. I lived in Roselle for 30 years and that neighborhood where the shooting happened has gone down the tubes over the years. If it wasn't for hero cops who fight the drug dealers, the place would be even worse. But instead of making the cops the bad guys, The Sharpton crew should focus on the drug dealers who are the real villians here, dangling promises of fast cars and fancy bling in front of young poor black kids. Every time Sharpton marches against Hero cops... he scores more points for the drug dealers.

By the way, as much as I hate him.. .like Rabin he doesn't deserve to be physically harmed, but unfortunately there are too many wackos out there causing Sharpton to travel with a strong security entourage. Why doesn't Sharpton just stay home........ .. and send his security detail to Roselle so they can patrol the drug dens instead?


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week our friend Barry who is a fan of all things Boston laughed at Pumpie's picking against the Patriots. They didn't cover, so Pumpie's record improved to 10-2. This week, in honor of the Broadway strike coming to an end... its the New York Giants-Chicago Bears game for The Wise One. The Giants are 1 1/2 point faves. Sayeth The Pump: "I just saw the story in Sudan about the nutjobs who want to behead the teacher who allowed her students to name a Teddy Bear Mohammed. Therefore to show my support for the teacher AND the bear.... I pick the Bears!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We went 1-2 last week after the Giants let us down and we dared to pick against Pumpstradamus to get back to .500 at 17-17-2.

Giants 1 1/2 faves over THE BEARS - Wow... that's disrespecting the Bears... and it's time for The Giants to seperate themsevles from the pack. This could be a huge step to securing a Wild Card if the Giants can pull it off.

Bills 5 1/2 doggies over WASHINGTON - Continuing our trend of picking road teams... this is a tough pick since the Redskins have been through a very difficult week. But that is a pretty big spread and the AFC teams are pretty good.

MINNESOTA 3 1/2 faves over Detroit - A Detroit loss combined with a Giant win would give The Giants a 2 game lead over the other Wild Card teams with 4 weeks to go.

Year End Award Predictions -and Great Topics for Turkey Day Small Talk!

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!

It seems like each year the Time Life Empire announces its yearly awards earlier and earlier.. that means we have to bump up our annual predictions. Each year Time announces its Person of the Year.... Sports Illustrated has its Sportsman of the Year, and Entertainment Weekly has its Entertainer of the Year.

Today, we present our annual picks so let's start with Entertainer of the Year....

TMZ and Harvey Levin.

The wacky website/TV show has brought Big Brother into the 21st century. Thanks to the new technology allowing stuff to be shot on cell phones and immediately uploaded to the web, all kinds of crazy stuff has been popping up on YouTube. Just go to their home page and check out "videos being watched right now".. I never knew how weird women can be, and the stuff they put online. Jeepers!! But anyway, the crazy TMZ camera crews follow celebrities around so often, they are often cited on CNN and other news channels as the source of breaking news video. Where the Smoking Gun.com was the website for legal breaking news.. TMZ is the place to go for all things Hollywood. The site was founded by Harvey Levin, a nice Jewish lawyer who was the OJ Simpson reporter on Channel 2 in the 90's, and still has that easy gig as the "man on the street" reporter for The People's Court. Here in the NY Metropolitan Area, the TMZ Nightly News Show airs at 6:30 opposite the network evening newscasts; I wouldn't be surprised if it has taken a major bite out of their ratings.

Sportsman of the Year... is a little tougher... 2 immediately come to mind.
Coach Stringer and the Rutgers Women's Team - They made it all the way to the NCAA Women's Championship before losing. Unfortunately for them, Don Imus took note of the fact that the players weren't hot babes and the next thing you know a fundraiser for kids with cancer got ruined by the evil Al Sharpton. Nonetheless, Stringer and the team handled the situation with class and that class is more important than athletic ability when SI makes its pick, so you would think that the Ladies down the street at Rutgers would definitelty be frontrunners. The best thing to come of all this - WABC hired the I-Man and canned that shmuck Ron Kuby. Kuby and Sharpton are two of my least favorite people - along with Louis Farrakhan who still hasn't died yet...(he's been in my death pool for the last few years)... Sharpton will be back in the headlines again since Tawana Brawley's family inexplicably wants to reopen the case involving her daughter's rape accusation hoax that catapulted Sharpton into the headlines as an absolute fraud who embraces a case before knowing the facts.

Speaking of which... did you see what happened to the teenager in Roselle who was shot when a cop's gun went off. The cop was investigating a drug den when this kid pops out from out of nowhere in an alley, started to run, and refused to surrender. The cop drew his weapon and it accidentally fired and hit the kid. Now the mother of the kid comes out and says the kid didn't break the law by running from police, since he was scared his mother would yell at him for being out late at night! No, it's not ok to run from a cop! Brave cops have a tough enough job as it is, and when a cop tells you to stop... you do it immediately! I am so sick and tired of all these people who constantly criticize police... when all cops do is put their lives at risk every single day. Now the kid's mom comes out, holds a press conference criticizing the Roselle Police and shows off all the kid's sports medals. Why don't we hold a press conference for all the medals this brave cop has won during his years of service? One thing I am thankful for today... besides Trophy Wife.. is the Cops who make our streets safe! Thank you! Also kudos to the Hoboken SWAT Team who should be reinstated! Next time there's a hostage situation, all they need to do is toss in some Hooters Babes and everybody can go home happy.

Another Sportsman contender is Alex Rodridguez. ARod had a fantastic year at the plate and won the MVP despite being a constant target of tabloid fodder.. between being caught hanging out on the road with a go go dancer and his wife's incredibly vulgar shirt at a Yankee game... By the way, security at a sporting event should ban anyone who has an obscenity on their t shirt from enterting an event that contains little eyes that can read messages involving the seven words not allowed on TV. A Rod almost singlehandedly carried the Yankees from early season mediocrity to a wild card spot, and this was during a season that the true pre 2007 Yankee MVP Mariano Rivera had somewhat of an off year. Once ARod opted out of his Yankee deal....during the final game of the World Series, it stole the spotlight away from the Red Sox run to the championship. It also reinforced the belief that an ARod less Yankee team would fall farther away from the Red Sox in the American Leagues pecking order. Now that ARod is coming back for a run to the homerun record, he singlehandedly makes things look to be ok in Yankee land once again.

But the Sportsman of the Year really oughta be...

The University of Florida Athletic Department - They won the NCAA Basketball and Football Championships. What more can a team do?? Heck, the basketball team has won 2 consecutive championships! Kudos to Athletic Director Jeremy Foley for doing an absolutely fantastic job!

Person of the Year....

Offhand, I think Steve Jobs did a remarkable job playing the hype game by introducing the Iphone to the marketplace,. I was actually bummed when a co-worker got one, because I wanted to be the first one in the office to have the gadget. And once they come out with an Iphone that has a video camera, I will buy one myself so I too can shoot video for TMZ. Well, maybe not, but the notion of having all your gadgets in one works for me.. until of course the battery dies or the device breaks, and then you are left with nothing. My cell phone I bought in Summer of '06, the Samsung SGH-d9807 (see the July 6, 2006 column) has an mp3 player, but it is a royal pain in the neck to load the music. It seems that the I-phone resolved that issue. The commericals are quite catchy too, and it's always good to see Bill Gates not getting all the attention since he is so rich because every idea he ever came up with was stolen from Apple.. but that's besides the point.

However, when all is said and done... I predict that the TIme Magazine Person of the Year will be...

Hillary Clinton.

As much as I don't like her, America might be on the verge of history with our first Female President. Or we might have our first Black President. I wasn't too thrilled with Obama's defense of Eliot Spitzer's illegal alien license plan at the CNN debate after Hillary wisely came to her senses about how absurd it is that our tax money provide services to them. Unfortunately a lot of backwards voters wouldn't vote for a black man even if he pulled them out of a burning building. Nonetheless, Hillary has been the front runner.. she has a great political coach, being married to the Best President since the Pre Nixon era (that's as far back as I can remember) And being the rabbit in the pack has brought her a lot of attention.... Geraldine Ferraro would have been one heartbeat away had things gone differently back in 1984.. but Hillary has shown us that you may not need a shmeckle to hold down the office as President of the USA. The White House intern thong marketing might radically change (or might not according to some).. but face it... America might be in for a big change in terms of Women in Power. Therefore. Hillary's domination of the headlines makes her my pick for Person of the Year.

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
This week, in honor of Thanksgiving, Pocahantosdamus goes to New England for the big Patriots Eagles showdown... with the Patriots favored by 22! Last week he lost for just the 2nd time when the Bears let him down dropping to a still incredible 9-2. Sayeth the Pump: "On this Thanksgiving Yom Tov (or Yum Tov), I'm reminded that Benjamin Franklin once proposed that the turkey be made the national bird of the United States....: but the bald eagle won, and so, i'm going with the Eagles!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week we went 2-0-1 to get a winning record at 16-15-2! Here are this week's picks: This week's games feature 2 rather unusual, almost historic point spreads

GIANTS 7 faves over Minnesota - Are the gate D hijinks going on at Giants games too? This is a good chance for the Giants not to fall into a lull since they have a good shot at the Wild Card.. but there are a few teams 2 games back who are licking their chops.

San Fransisco 10 1/2 doggies over ARIZONA - The Cards go into Week 11 just one game out of a wild card spot and they are double digit favorites! When was the last time that happened?? Too much to cover.. Take the Niners,

NEW ENGLAND 22 over Philly - When was the last time an NFL team was favored by 22? I thought this was a lock, but now that I see Pumpy is going with Philly, I am just a tad nervous!

CLIP OF THE WEEK:

Last week we mentioned Box in a Box. Here it is:

I Still Love My Fellow Democrats, But...

Well here we go... Year Number 3 of NWOW.

There's a lot going on besides the fact that Greta Van Susteren's fascination 2 weeks ago with the newly missing Laci Peterson rhyming Stacy Peterson has now evolved into a huge national story! I don't know if this would have caught as much attention from Day One unless her name was Simpson. Let's hope she just ran away and is alive and well somewhere. This reminds me of my Radio Days in the early 1990s when a local woman disappeared under mysterious circumstances. I bet my belching news director that the woman had met with some foul play, but amazingly enough she had just run off to take some time away from her family and returned some time later. About a week after her return, my eyeballs popped out of my head while on the air with onetime Blogging Superstar DangerSpouse when the winner of a live call in trivia contest was none other than the woman who had just disappeared! She must have been brushing up on her Moops edition of Trivial Pursuit.

The other big news this week is NY Governor Eliot Spitzer smartly did a 180 and decided against that silly idea to give illegal immigrants Drivers Licenses. And just in time too apparently, as Hillary Clinton's front runner status is causing her opponents to put a big fat bullseye on her back with her original support of Spitzer being the arrows. Obama is still hedging on what should be a non issue, but on the Wolf Blitzer CNN debate Hillary spoke out against it. (Speaking of the CNN debate - Suzanne Malveuax - va va voom!) I don't know what Spitzer was thinking.. the only driving the illegals should be doing is back to the border on a Greyhound bus with a one way ticket. My dad was an immigrant... a legal one... and he did an almost unheard of thing when he moved here.. He learned English! I used to do seminars for job hunters back in 2003 and one thing I discovered was that some people are discriminated in the workplace because they can't speak Spanish. Why is our work force catering to these people who steadfastly refuse to learn the language?? Incidentally I suggested doing exactly the opposite in my 12/18/05 column.. but that was just for one specific type of situation.

NY is also apparently strike headquarters as the Broadway stagehands and TV Writers continue to picket on. I am not too sympathetic to the crew people who want contracts stating that a minimum number of stagehands be hired for each show regardless of whether those stagehands are necessary for that particular production. And TV Writers want more shekels in a long term deal involving new media such as the internet. DVD profit sharing? I am all for that.. but how can you predict money making opportunities on web platforms over a long period of time. I watch some shows online... are they making any money on those 30 second spots when most of us usually just go to another tab to check email, or fantasy teams, etc. I just hope they get back to work soon.. Those rumors that Family Guy will continue without genius Seth McFarlane make my tummy hurt.

This week's column marks a historical first for NWOW. I had to scrap my original column and start from scratch at the last moment! I had already written a whole article about an upcoming report I was preparing at The Mortgage Podcast concerning a new bill being proposed by Congressman Barney Frank. The Mortgage Reform and Anti Predatory Lending Act of 2007 has some good ideas but one particularly troubling aspect of it was just removed on Wednesday. That part of the bill was basically going to mean the end of mortgage brokers as we know it since it would require that loans could only be offered if the closing costs are not financed into the loan. Yep that means you would have to bring cold hard cash to your closing to pay all the fees if you refinance a loan. Luckily, a lot of mortgage brokers are able to get clients lower closing costs since Banks pay us a fee called yield spread. However, for some reason the original version of the bill barred brokers from collecting Yield Spread too! Wisely enough, cooler heads prevailed and future changes to the current laws will allow us to charge lower closing costs by getting paid by the lender and you won't have to bring money to the closing to pay your fees!

However, I don't know if even Superman could solve this problem since the whole mortgage mess really needs to be looked at on a case by case basis. But as much as Frank might seem to think that mortgage brokers created this crisis, there is blame to spread among all parties. A lot of people buy houses that they can't afford when in reality they should have bought something smaller. I'm in the trenches every day and I see these credit reports, and frankly I have seen a number of cases where people bought homes with no money down, and they were late with their payments, yet had enough money to pay Best Buy for a big screen TV, or for a major landscaping project or some other frivolity when the money should have gone to a mortgage payment. And since a lot of these people bought houses with no money down.. no harm no foul.. they just walk away and lose nothing. You would think it would make sense to eliminate programs for people to buy a house with no money down.

I find it odd that mortgage brokers almost ended up out of work if Frank's bill had gone through unchanged. Let's say Gordon Ramsey the Kitchen Nightmares restarateur has a 4 star establishment that is rather pricey. A customer comes in, orders a nice dinner, and when the check comes, says he can't pay his check because he can't afford it. You would think that this customer should have gone to a less expensive restaurant that he could afford. Well lets say this situation becomes very commonplace. Assuming the prices are clearly disclosed on the menu, would Congressman Frank want to propose legislation that would create federal regulations for how the 4 star restaurant makes its money?

For awhile there, I almost thought I would have get out there and find a different job. And by the way prospective employers - Yo hablo espanol!


PUMPSTRADAMUS NFL PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy rolls on with his incredible hot streak with his Bird Flu pick from last week, improving to an improbable 9-1 and clinching a winning record. This week we go to Chicago where all the media has been camped out following the Peterson story. The Bears travel to Seattle where they are 6 point doggies to the Seahawks. Sayeth the Reading Challenged Pump: "Take the Bears... As the old song goes.. Bears Bears They're Good for Your Heart... The More You Eat...."

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK; Last week we went 2-1 to get to 14-15-1. The run on mediocrity continues - there has never been a winless or undefeated week.

Giants 3 faves over DETROIT - Very gutsy to make the Giants a road fave against a team doing so well at home. Face it - The Giants are 2 behind Dallas with 7 to play and the Cowboys own the tiebreaker. It's a good week for the Giants to send a message to the other 6-3 wild card contender.

Washington 10 1/2 doggies over DALLAS - The Cowboys will drop the wild card contending Redskins down a notch. I think the Skins will cover.

Miami 10 faves over PHILADELPHIA - Just like the London game, the Dolphins will find a way to cover late.. although it would be cool if they got their first win at the Eagle's expense.


CLIP OF THE WEEK - After a week of being critical towards the Democrats, let's not forget how evil Republicans can be. Here is a song about that skank Anne Coulters repulsive anti semitic remarks. It's sung by a woman named Leah Kauffman. This song called "My Box in a Box" is a spoof of the SNL song parody Shmeckle in a Box. By the way, I saw a You Tube clip of Kauffman doing a light hearted chat with Keith Olbermann and she looked more uncomfortable than Drew Peterson when he chatted with Matt Lauer. Smile, lighten up... contact my Media Coaching Pal Jacquie Jordan! Obviously, a slick writer snuck the title past a Jewish News editor who didn't quite catch on what the crass song title meant.

The 2 Year Bloggiversary - Politics, Podcasts, and Pontificating

Well folks.. this weekend we celebrate our 2nd bloggiversary! This blog was born right here on these very internets on November 10, 2005. and wouldn't it be great if every blogger used their bloggiversary to look back and give a state of the blog address? I look back and say... "What the hell have I put on the Internet?" Back in November 2005, I had thought about starting a blog and I also had thought about watching all six Star Wars movies for the first time, so somewhere along the line I thought.. hey let's do both. And thus the blog was born with "The Grand Premiere" that fateful November 10th.


So 2 years later.. where are we? Well, we started a little movie club... this is my crazy old Channel 5 movie club button (!), and so far we have done 14 movie reviews. After Star Wars, it was on to The Godfather Trilogy, a Robert Altman 4-pack and our current 6 James Bonds with 6 different lead actors. A list of all 14 movie reviews with their dates is posted at the end of today's column for your reading enjoyment.

The movie reviews with the bladder scale appear to be the most popular columns -they were a popular radio feature back in the early 90s...while last year's decision to pick ALL the NFL games was the least popular feature. In one of our early columns on November 24, 2005, we did a column "Psychic Matters or Do Psychics Matter?" which introduced us to The Amazing Pumpstradamus. That rather uncharacteristically short column was written tongue in cheek and blasted the whole concept of psychics. It also triggered the first appearance by Pumpstradamus who posted a comment with his opinion about the next column which I hadn't even written yet! Pumpy then became an annual visitor with a Yearly Preview podcast appearance and his weekly NFL picks are both succesful and popular.

In January we launched the Clip of the Week, a little add on feature at the end of each column that was to be replaced again in September by revamped shorter NFL picks.. plus the oh so popular Pumpstradamus NFL pick of the week. However, video on the internet has become so popular that I seem to always find a cool new video on You Tube each week that falls into "must share" status. Recently we did Havana Gilapalooza. We also embarked on a musical career collaborating with musical genius Neil Fein on "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" - today we are posting it here for the first time as an mp3. The song was a parody of Creeque Alley, maybe giving us a chance to be edgy Al Yankovicites. We will also be releasing a new song soon about Jim McGreevey which will sort of be another parody from The Mamas and Papas..

So 2 years later... what exactly is this blog? Basically, on any given week it has been about TV, (assuming the writer's strike ends) Movies, Baseball, Judaism, and the political landscape in no particular order. I really haven't made it too personal with one or two exceptions... it's more like a column about stuff that interests myself and my readers.. and I am not sure people care about a blog covering my day to day activities... hey today my shower caddy fell off the wall and then I spilled water in my laptop keyboard and Danny at Compusave figured out in 2 seconds why my t and y keys don't work..... I don't think that type of stuff is really going to excite the masses who congregate here.

POLITICS

Politics hasn't really been a big thing here, but as we are now 1 year away from choosing a new President, it will probably become more topical. On January 29, 2006, I disclosed my political beliefs.. a conservative Democrat who is pro-choice... maddeningly frustrating to Republicans who want to tag all Democrats as liberals and annoying to liberals like DAS who have this notion that the party is moving to the left.... which ain't happenin'. It's going to be a tough pick next year since I am not a fan of Hillary, and if by some miracle The GOP selects pro choice Rudy Guliani. (which I don't see happening despite the shocking Pat Robertson endorsement), a Rudy - Hillary ticket will be a tough choice... and according to Pumpstradamus the topic for the 3rd bloggiversary column!

Speaking of liberals, there was one piece of news this past week that made my day... the firing of Ron Kuby from WABC Radio. I addressed my feelings about Kuby back on March 9, 2006 when he bit the hand that fed him by testifying for the defense in the Gotti trial concerning the attempted killing of Curtis Sliwa. As I said then, I don't know much about the case, but I thought it was odd that Kuby testified against Curtis. Kuby whose legal talents are quite minimal wouldn't have made any money in radio if it wasn't for Sliwa's taking him under his wing. Now that the I-man is going to WABC, Kuby was told by station management to stay home, while Sliwa might be moved to a different slot. If WOR were smart, they would bring that show to their station. They already have vastly improved themselves by adding the new syndicated show hosted by the immensely talented Dennis Miller. One interesting quote out of Kuby's mouth..."Imus makes racist comments, yet I lose my job!" It couldn't happen to a bigger jerk.

And maybe somebody could explain to me where our priorities are? That Dog guy gets into a ton of trouble for using the n word in an illegally taped private phone conversation, yet those so called leaders Jackson and Sharpton march for the Jena 6 that beat a white kid unconscious because they think these thugs should not be punished! Dog has spent the week on his "I am so sorry and I still love my son" tour... His son might have gottten 15k for that little tape he leaked to the Enquirer,but he is losing a lot more because you know that the minute this well orchestrated apology tour comes to end, he will march right up to his lawyers office and change his will so that son gets nothing. And if he is really vindictive, he will use his detective skills to watch this kid who is apparently using up his three strikes so that the moment that kid lights up a marijuana cigarette.. cops will swarm in while Dog stands outside hitting his strike counter with as much glee as a home plate umpire working a Nolan Ryan game.

PODCASTS

I have discovered one surprise over the last 2 years of doing this blog --- podcasting just doesn't seem to be as popular as I thought it would be. Blogspot appears to be the most popular blogging website, but they don't have an easy podcasting program. Clickcaster on the other hand is less popular, yet they make it quite simple. I had learned how to html code embedded audio and video clips a few years ago when I wanted to snazzy up some eBay ads. We did a few podcast interviews during the first year of this blog, and in the summer of 2006 I launched The Mortgage Podcast. So far I have gotten some responses, mostly from other podcasters, and former colleagues who googled my name, found the podcasts and made prank calls to me!

As the old song goes, Video killed the Radio Star, and while I thought that telephone modems being replaced by cable and hi speed connections would popularize podcasts, it is actually the videos that have gained the most popularity. This past summer, we started doing video versions of my Mortgage Podcasts that are now getting a decent number of hits on You Tube. This summer also marked the migration of my files away from hosting site Streamload/Media Max which mysteriously never seems to work when I need it. Files stored there continously show up as dead links. The Roselle House Video from The Home Sweet Home column in April seems to also be a dead link. For this week's Clip of The Week, we will once again present The Roselle House Video this time via YouTube! By the way, the movie referred to in that column is Steam which opens next Thursday in LA!

PONTIFICATING

We also do some Jewish columns every once in awhile. I characterize myself as being between Conservative and Orthodox... or Orthoservative. In that Klein - King article, I criticized a letter writer to the local Jewish State newspaper who wrote a nasty letter because they were upset that an Edison Rabbi commented during a Menorah Lighting ceremony to pray for the death of Iranian President Ahmedinijad. The State is an otherwise good newspaper but made a huge misstep with another letter to the editor this week that again disrepectfully criticizes the same Rabbi with an incredible cheap shot directed towards him and his wife. By the way, I took one of the pictures that appears on Page 19 - eagle eyed viewers may realize that those are the same chairs from today's Clip of The Week !

Being less observant makes me more religious.. to me the most important thing is to be respectful to other people. It nauseates me that a different newspaper published by the ultra orthodox recently published an editorial about the hate crime bill (although I think the editorial writer was referring to the anti discrimination bill) that allows a loophole for a clergyman to make nasty speeches against homosexuality as long as it doesn't incite a riot. How disgusting is it that this editorial was probably written by a person whose relatives were in the Holocaust. Yet the editorial says that people should be allowed to speak publicly about a lifestyle that is not religiously acceptable. And if you saw the movie "Trembling Before G-d", you will have seen that the ultras (excluding for the most part the more open minded Lubavitch sect) are NOT preaching to "punish the sin, not the sinner". The documentary showed quite clearly that these ultras have totally ostracized the homosexuals and tossed them out of their community.

The irony of that editorial is that Jews have always been persecuted for being different... because we do not observe a Christian lfestyle as prescribed in the New Testament. How is this different from preaching against gays who they claim violate laws in the Old Testament? Personally, I am against gay marriage but that is for semantic reasons. I do think that gay partners should get as many benefits as married couples do. If these ultras wouldn't shun science education, they would realize that the homosexual tendency is biological and these people can't control it. It isn't easy for them to be gay in our society and I doubt that it is the Godly thing to do to preach against what the newspaper called their "immoral deviant lifestyle"! Religious persecution is religious persecution whether its wearing a star pinned to your shirt or being treated like garbage for being gay!.

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I thought God wants us to be nicer to our fellow man and that is how we should conduct ourselves....



I also went back through all the columns... here are the 14 Movie Club Reviews we posted here. Remember the Star Wars were in chronological order!

November 21, 2005 - One Down Five to Go (Star Wars I)
December 8, 2005 - Obscene Clone Falls (Star Wars II)
January 16, 2006 - Halfway There -Oh Oh Livin' on a Prayer (Star Wars III)
March 3, 2006 - 1977 Part II - The Summer of Sam (Star Wars IV - The Original)
May 2, 2006 - Who's Your Daddy? (Star Wars V)
June 1, 2006 - Star Wars Part 6 of 6 Yippee (Star Wars VI)
July 29, 2006 - From Yoda to Vigoda - An Offer You Can't Refuse (The Godfather)
October 12, 2006 - Name Clearing Part II (Godfather II)
December 5, 2006 - (Corle)One is the Loneliest Number (Godfather III)
January 18, 2007 - How Does a Cixelsyd Spell Radar? (Robert Altman Part I M*A*S*H)
February 28, 2007 - Nashville (Altman Part II)
July 25, 2007 - The Player (Altman Part III after a hiatus when we moved to our house in April)
September 6, 2007 - Short Cuts - How Can a 3 Hour Movie Have the Word Short In Its Title?? (Altman Part IV)
October 19, 2007 - Sean Connery's Goldfinger - (James Bond I)


Top 14 Lists List

November 2, 2007 - TV Quarterly Report - The NWOW Fall Preview
March 25, 2007 The 14 Most Relevant Baseball Teams of 2007
Feb 23, 2007 The Top 14 Movies to Start a DVD Collection
Jan. 25, 2007 The Top 14 Game Show Hosts of All Time
Dec. 14, 21 2006 - 14 TV Shows That Entertained Me in 2006
May 12, 27 2006 Top 14 Talk Show Hosts
March 27, 30 2006 The 14 Most Relevant Baseball Teams of 2006
Feb. 10, 14, 17 2006 Top 14 Game Shows


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy improved to 8-1 last week when the Colts covered the spread. One more win he clinches a winning record. Last year for the Bloggiversary we went to San Fran in honor of Nancy Pelosi's big 2006 Election Day performance. Once again, for this year's bloggiversary we head back there as the 49ers play in Seattle on Monday Night. The Niners are 10 point doggies. Sayeth the Pump: "My Bronco-itis doesn't seem to go away... maybe it's bird flu? Therefore in honor of Bird Flu I take the Seahwawks!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK; Last week the Jets barely covered to get us to 1-2 for the week for a season record of 12-14-1.

GIANTS 1 1/2 doggies over Dallas - This is the battle for first place in the NFC East. Anybody else notice in the London game how the ref's audio didnt synch with the video?

Eagles 3 doggies over WASHINGTON - The Skins think they are in a wild card race. The Eagles will teach them a lesson.

ARIZONA 1 fave over Detroit - C'mon The Lions win a road game?? Get outta here.


CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK - The Roselle House Video - the first part was shot in '88, the rest was done 10 years ago.

TV Quarterly Report: The NWOW Fall Preview

Well now that the 2007 baseball season has come to an end it is time for the TV Season to begin! Before we get to the NWOW Fall Preview of 14 shows to watch this season, a couple of things from the past few days...

I take back everything nice I said about Scott Boras last week when I praised his attempts to get baseball to refocus on the World Series. He tossed that goodwill out the window as the Red Sox were getting ready for the knockout punch Sunday night when he announced that his client Alex Rodriguez would not take his option to return to The Yankees. Boras did apologize for upstaging the World Series, but the damage was done. And why do the Yankee fans attack ARod after his spectacular 2007 MVP season? ARod wants as much as he can get.... anyone else would do the same thing. Yet the Yankees are being cheapskates by refusing to negotiate with him as a Free Agent since it means that The Texas Rangers won't be picking up the bill for part of ARod's salary. It's going to be a long next few years in the post ARod era as the Yankees will now be looking up to Red Sox Nation which is now a far superior team.

In 1997 I finished 3rd in my fantasy baseball league and thanks to the terrific '97 seasons of my Dodger trio of Raul Mondesi, Todd Zeile and Eric Karros, I plunked down my winnings for my very large for 1997 27 inch TV! Now 10 years later thanks to the draft day psychic predictions of Pumpstradamus, my 2nd place winnings went to a 42 inch HD TV which looks fantastic! The quality is remarkable, yet I was surprised to see how odd Fox's Jeannie Zelasko looks close-up.. but on the other hand, Carol Ann Ridell on Channel 4? Homina Homina Homina!!

Therefore because of the new TV. we are temporarily coming to you from my laptop on the coffee table instead of the usual spot at the Bunkey room. In case you missed why we call it that, in our old condo, my office was in the monkey room which had a bizarre pattern of wall paper of monkeys doing strange things. Here at our house, the prior owners left the bunk bed behind in the spare bedroom that is my office.. which is why we call it The Bunkey Room!

Anyway, now that I have this new TV, what are the 14 shows worth watching on it this season? I find that I am watching no shows on Thursdays, Fridays or Saturdays! Thursday has some good stuff.. it just seems that I have been out somewhere or watching baseball over the last several Thursdays. But, Sunday through Wednesday is quite action packed!

1. The Family Guy and 2 American Dad - One producer - 2 hysterical cartoons.... but what happens if American Dad lasts longer than Family Guy? Will they start using flashbacks on American Dad too? Every week these 2 shows hit a home run... the crazy AD where the daughter poses nude, and her brother unknowingly buys a painting of her? Amazing,... And I am ready for The Family Guy Star Wars spoof to work its way into the 1130 Cartoon Network reruns so I can actually remember more of the hysterics from that incredible episode.

3. Desperate Housewives - Relegated to next day viewing on abc.com due to the Fox competition. The show just isnt that good anymore... yet oddly I watch it. What's the scoop with the new neighbor kid who can't remember her past? And isn't it odd that her mom, a new member of the block would be so freaking annoying to her neighbors?

4. Curb Your Enthusiasm - The perfect antidote for Seinfeld withdrawal. The show is hysterical and the ad libs give it an odd dialogue pattern that you just dont see in your typical unnaturally written sitcoms. Susie Essman is so funny when she is so nasty to Larry... Last week's episode where she threw Larry under the bus when he got caught using the "n" word while quoting someone else was priceless. And Funkhouser is another great character!! Bob Einstein aka Super Dave Osborne is probably one of the funniest people on Earth! Great cast, hysterical show.

5. Tell Me You Love Me - I catch the west coast HBO feed at midnight and like DH.. i have no idea why I watch this show. Except for the older woman whose husband won't sleep with her, I can't stand these characters. The one woman who was obssessed with getting pregnant (Penny from Lost) took so many pregnancy tests, I'm amazed that one human being could pish so much. I think most of us are hanging on to see if Ally Walker is gonna get neckid! I think couples should watch this show together because once you see how wacked out these characters are, you appreciate your spouse even more!

6. Big Bang Theory - As you might have read here before, Trophy Wife is a distant relative of Sheldon Leonard who was in "It's A Wonderful Life" and produced "The Dick Van Dyke Show". As a salute to him, the main characters in this show are named Sheldon and Leonard! They hang out with 2 other geeks including one guy who has the most bizarre haircut (Simon Helberg who once did a pilot for a show called "The Funkhausers") and mingle with a hot blonde who lives on the same floor as their apartment building. I think the scenario could get a little stale, and it's time for these guys to use their science expertise and get jobs with CSI. Then, the trekkies can have debates with David Caruso about whether he or William Shatner is a worse actor!

7. Heroes - Jump the Shark or Time Travel to the 1600s? Whats the difference? The show has slid considerably but 2 weeks ago it started showing signs of rebounding. It looks like our heroes need something to do... The storyline with the girl in New Orleans looks promising, but this whole Hiro storyline is absurd and now he is madly in love with this woman from the 17th century.... The only way they can salvage this story is if Hiro has sex with her and gives her a venereal disease that wasn't around in the 1600's.

8. Journeyman - I think this may be one the best 2 new shows of the season. The guy has to travel back in time to solve other people's trsuris... its kind of like Quantum Leap with a little more style. The premise is quirky... our main character's time traveling guide is his late wife (!) which ticks off the current wife... who was once engaged to her husband's brother! Its actually a pretty cool show.. maybe he can zip back to 1600 and bring Hiro back and save his high rated lead in on NBC before 24 comes back in January!

9. Law and Order SVU - Consistently intense... it keeps chugging along with great stories and an easy paycheck for Richard Belzer who gets one or two wisecracks per episode.. kind of like the guy in "Airplane" who grabbed the newspaper and proclaimed.. "There's a sale at Mays!" Regular Law and Order has yet to return in the post Fred Thompson era and Criminal Intent has moved to USA, although I never know when it is on.

10. The Singing Bee - I want Trophy Wife to go on this show since she knows the words to every song ever written. Then she can win a million dollars!

11. Deal or No Deal - I just love watching people lose. It's much simpler than the heart stopping Press Your Luck when a whammy could appear at any time... Here its just amusing to see people not understand the law of averages and not have the brains to quit when they're ahead.

12. Kitchen Nightmares - This is another choice for best new show of the season! Chef Gordon Ramsey shows up at a slumping restaurant and whips it back into shape. It's interesting to see some of these people who own restaurants who just sit on their laurels and count their shekels and just dont give a crap about quality. One restaurant owner in particular who was in a popular tourist area let his restaurant rot away knowing full well that he would never get repeat business, but the constant flow of new tourists would keep his pockets full. This show has the excitement that The Apprentice needs. Who cringes more when Gordon puts a bullseye on some hapless restaurant employee and gets him fired at the end of the show? I'm surprised those fired employees sign release forms allowing them to be shown on TV - How does that not ruin their chances of ever getting a new job in the industry? And they showed the kitchen in one of Gordon's restaurants... it was so incredibly spotless you could eat off the floor!! This guy is obsessed with cleanliness to Felix Unger-ian proportions.

13. Phenomenon - I thought this would be a show for Pumpstradamus... but its really an American Idol for magicians who use mind games to do their tricks. It's kind of entertaining and the live element provides plenty of drama. The guy who made his heart stop was pretty creepy, but some of the other tricks are older than the hills.

14. CSI NY - I havent been watching the other CSIs this season, but I like the NY show. Some of the storylines this season have been on other shows.. The avatar storyline was done on Law and Order SVU; and this past week's episode of the injection that caused a person to appear dead while very much alive, but frozen like a rock was the same story mechanism that got rid of the much maligned Nikki and Paolo on Lost last season... Ausellio in TV Guide recently amusingly nicknamed those annoying Heroes twins Nikki and Paolo.

NEXT WEEK - The Big Bloggiversary!


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK; Last week Pumpie tasted his first loss, as the Broncos were inches away from a big Monday Night Win. Nonetheless, the Pack won dropping Pumpies record to a still impressive 7-1. This week we go to New England in honor of the Red Sox World Series win. The Patriots are 5 point road favorites over the Colts... this must be the first time that a 7-0 home team is an underdog. This week Pumpie channels the ghost of Nipsey Russel with this nugget....

"Last week I chose the Broncos
I was crowned the king of dolts.
This week, I shall redeem myself
and back the team of Colts!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we went 1-2 to drop to 11-12-1. That late Dolphin TD kept us from our first 0-3 week. The Giants have a bye this week.


PHILADELPHIA 3 doggies over Dallas - This sets up an epic battle for next week's Giant game!

Broncos 3 doggies over DETROIT - You think the Bronco and Rockies fans have recovered from last week? Detroit is currently battling the Giants for a wild card slot and they are due for a loss.

JETS 3 1/2 doggies over Washington - What's the difference between The Jets and The Yankees? The Jets will get a 2nd half contribution from Clemens. This game is sandwiched between The New York City Marathon and the 6pm Knick home opener - creating a very long day for Al Trautwig! Speaking of the Knicks, Let's hope Al Sharpton keeps his word and is out there protesting against Isiah Thomas as fervently as he fought to get Imus fired from his radio show. There is no reason that Thomas, a phony failure has not been disciplined for being found guilty in court for sexually harrassing and subsequently firing a female coworker. NBA Commissioner David Stern is right when he criticizes the way the Dolans run that organization. The Knicks are a disgrace, and the horrible things that Thomas has been convicted of doing to this poor woman is far worse and purposefully more damaging than what Imus said about the Rutgers women. Let's hope the door to the Garden slams shut on Isiah as Imus triumphantly returns to the ABC studio directly across the street from MSG!



CLIP OF THE WEEK
Last week we introduced you to Nate Kizerian and his odd rendition of Hava Nagila. Continuing the Hava Nagila theme... here is a version of that classic song that is incredibly bizarre!!

Damn Yankees: It's All About The Image... And The Hair!

Well here we are 2 games into the World Series between Boston and Colorado, and all anyone wants to talk about is... The Yankees?

Even though all of baseball's attention should be focused on the World Series, it seems like the Yankees have been grabbing all the headlines. Back on Labor Day when the Yankees looked assured of a playoff spot after overcoming their 21-29 start, who would have thought that Giants coach Tom Coughlin would have more job security than Joe Torre?? By the way, with the Giants in London on Sunday, wouldnt it be cool to hop on a plane late Saturday Night.. fly in for the game, and then fly home right after? It would be as wacky as Jimmy Kimmel flying back and forth from NY to LA every day this week to host 2 talk shows. Actually. don't pilots and stewardesses do this every day??

When it comes to stuff in Yankeeland, I'm a Met fan who doesn't hate the Yankees - just dislikes them... but i do enjoy watching them get eliminated. In 2000, I couldnt stand them after they beat the Mets in The World Series, but after deriving extreme enjoyment after that loss in '01 against Arizona, I get less enjoyment from their annual eliminations. But now,... it should be all about the Rockies and Red Sox with the Yankees managerial search should be on the back burner. Scott Boras had the right idea about refocusing attention on the World Series with his proposal about holding the 1st 2 World Series games at a neutral site and making a whole big showcase out of it like the Super Bowl. That big baseball weekend would also include the Post Season Awards for MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year. Heck they oughta give Kevin Youkilis an award for replacing Sean Green as "Best Jewish Baseball Player!".

Something Joe Torre said in his press conference last week caught my attention... referring to Ian O'Connor's exclusive Bergen Record interview with George Steinbrenner as being "planted". George's media appearances have been few and far between and it seems quite obvious that he has done what a lot of people his age do - he got old. Heck, even the little teeny boppers think of Dick Clark as an old guy who had a stroke. But now that George has become "Old George", his relatives want to shield him from the media so we all remember him as Blustery George, as he was immortalized in last summer's excellent ESPN miniseries "The Bronx Is Burning". I guess they don't want him to turn out like Bob Hope who occasionally made public appearances in his later years although he was starting to look like a man in his late 90s.

And it is all about the image.. Next year's World Series will end just days before the 2008 Presidential Election.. I hope Rudy recovers by then for his comment that he plans to root for the hated Red Sox against the Rockies. One of my Republican coworkers keeps insisting that it is going to be Rudy Giuliani against Hillary Clinton. First of all, there is no way a pro choice candidate will be on top of the ticket run by those religious right wing wackos. No way Jose. Once Rudy is asked if he would nominate a pro choice Judge to the Supreme Court, the GOP will Christie Whitman him to the back burner! And the Democrats - for me it's all about the hair which is why my one year in advance prediction is that it will be John Edwards running against Mitt Romney... or maybe Fred Thompson.. whoever is more conservative for the nutjobs running the GOP. Romney and Thompson are both morons and I haven't really paid enough attention to see who is the bigger idiot that will leave the GOPers all gaga at their convention next year. But if you go all the way back to JFK, image has been a major player on the Presidential ticket. Look at the big deal they made when Nixon shvitzed during his debate with Kennedy. And JFK had awesome hair. Back in the mid 70's that Israel hater Jimmy Carter had fantastic hair - then there was Ronald Reagan. a Republican with excellent hair.. and Bill Clinton had great hair too. And maybe that is why Edwards is spending so much on haircuts.

I agree with Torre that this whole Steinbrenner newspaper interview was somewhat staged. George's family wanted him to go out on top, and they know his condition allows him a few good days every once in awhile. Why not play the media on a "Good George Day"? Here is a chance for him to kvetch about Torre, and then while everyone is complaining about the silly Torre contract offer... the reality is Torre was really fired, and probably unfairly, but the Yankees gave Joe a chance to look like the good guy at their expense....it was all a decoy. Because while all the callers on WFAN are blasting the Yankees, the team quietly slipped in an announcement about the new team power structure that subtly slips George into the background as somewhat of an owner emeritus.

O'Connor phoned in Mike and the Mad Dog last week and flatly denied that he was set up by the Yankees. But how was it possible that he would just happen to call George's room and get through? Can anyone just call a hotel and get George on the phone? Highly unlikely... but the team did what it had to do... created a red herring, And George got to go out on his terms.. He got blasted for how he treated Torre.. but then again that is the way he was back in the old days when he used to fire every other one of his managers and show everyone that he is "The Boss"..

And now we can all focus on what the sports world should be paying attention to.... the amazing fact that Pumpsterdamus has gotten all of his football picks right!! In reality instead of Torre.. gimme some Torrealba.. and I dont want to hear about Mattingly.... I wanna hear more about Manny!

Enjoy the Series!



PUMPSTRADAMUS NFL PICK OF THE WEEK; The Incredible streak continues ... last week Pumpy picked the Bills upset to improve to an unbelievable 7-0. This week in honor of the Colorado Rockies, we go to Denver for the Broncos Monday Night tilt against Green Bay. Denver is favored by 3. Sayeth the Pump: "I have a bad cold that I predict will turn into Bronchitis.. therefore in honor of my bronchitis.. I take the Broncos! And for the election, I say it will be Hillary against Romney"



UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: For the 3rd straight week we went 2-1 to even things out at 10-10-1.

Miami 9 1/2 point doggies over The Giants in London - I know a guy whose daughter married a guy last year, and since the weddding he hasn't gotten a haircut. What does he have in common with The Giants? Both are having a good year without a Barber! This is a tough call - a game at a neutral site against a winless team with fans yelling at vendors for tea and crimpets..and checking the soccer scores on their cell phones. I think The Giants will win, but Miami will cover.

Washington 16 point doggies to NEW ENGLAND - Another toughie with a huge spread. I think Washington will cover.

VIKINGS 1 point doggies over The Eagles - Listeners of my podcast know I criticized Minnesota's governor this week. However, I will be rooting for their team this week.




CLIP OF THE WEEK..

Earlier this season, I mentioned that I named my fantasy baseball team Havana Gila because I drafted 2 Cubans. Here is another Nate K - Nate Kizerian with his recording of Hava Nagila.. and no... that is NOT me.. By the way, that Nate K is Armenian...(His name ends in "ian") Wonder how he felt about Turkey downplaying its horrible genocide into what The Daily Show called a Half a Caust..