Thursday, June 26, 2008

TV Quarterly Report: NBTD-TV

So the big news story of the week is the hullaballoo regarding Imus's wisecrack about NFL Player Pacman Jones. My question is why are people making a bigger deal about Imus's comment than the fact that Pacman Jones is a lifetime thug with a rap sheet longer than his on field accomplishments??

Here's an interesting tidbit.. I did a Google search using the search this blog box and I discovered that the TV Quarterly Report that we ran 2 Junes ago (June 16, 2006), marked the only times this blog ever mentioned Tim Russert and George Carlin. I was criticizing that skank Anne Coulter and her new book and talked about her appearance on Jay Leno while Carlin stood by silently as we all knew full well that at any moment he was capable of verbally tearing her to shreds. I also said not to buy her book but to buy Russert's instead. And, did anybody have a better command of the clever nuances of the English Language than George Carlin? I saw him at Kean College back in 1985... and it was by the far the funniest show I ever saw in person.

For this TV Report, I am going to propose my own new cable network. I'll call it NBTD TV... Nothing Better To Do Tv... the kind of channel you flip on when.... you have nothing better to do. NBTD will have a line up of reality shows.. your typical how to home improvement programming plus an occasional rerun of Mister Belvidere. That seems to be what TV is all about... you got nuthin better to do... you watch this channel,

The Fall Season seems to be full of those kind of shows. Even though I saw the announcements of the new network schedules, I already forgot most of the new shows and I really don't get too excited until September rolls around. This past season, only 2 shows caught my attention.... One was The Big Bang Theory on CBS which is absolutely hysterical.... and if done right could be the Seinfeld for geeks for years to come. Also, the late lamented Journeyman... the time traveling show on NBC that was quite well done but never caught on. There is one more show that I started watching this season.... it was originally intended to be a midseason replacement show... but it didnt premiere till June and we'll discuss that later in today's column.

Here are some TV highlights for the times I am not watching baseball or managers getting fired in the dead of night or the Yankee owner ripping interleague baseball because his ace pitcher got hurt running the bases. And since I have already realized that my rotiserie team is not gonna do well this year, I have more TV time on my hands. Here are some tidbits:

*Job Opening at NBC - I really must admit I never watched much of NBC's national news and only caught Meet The Press once in a blue moon. Nonetheless, I had seen a lot of Tim Russert and it was sad that he had died so suddenly. Its very rare that a network news person dies suddenly... I remember David Bloom from NBC died a few years ago in Iraq and prior to that the last time I recall the sudden unexpected death of a network news person was back in 1983 when Jessica Savitch was killed in a car crash.

Now Tom Brokaw is gonna host the show through the election. After that... its gonna be a toss up. I would think that Jeff Greenfield might be a good host... or as a longshot, John King from CNN who has done a terrific job covering the election. Maybe even toss in his fiance Dana Bash as a co-anchor.

*Howard Kurtz interviews Dennis Prager - All summer long we will be hearing about this year's Presidential election, but last Sunday's show may have provided the sound bite that could catapult Obama to the White House. Kurtz was talking about how the media covered Gay Marriage last week and how it was not quite the issue in the Presidential election as predicted by Prager and his fellow right wing Republicans. To which Prager corrected Kurtz by pointing out that the liberal acceptance of Gay Marriage is indeed a huge issue this Nov. The GOP has already Foshnizzled in their attempts to catapult Hispanic Immigration as a major issue. And not only that, pointed out Prager, gettng rid of Gay Marriage is a bigger issue than gas prices!! That just shows how out of touch the Republicans are,.... I see a lot of people pulling up to the gas pump and paying a lot of money and not once have I heard anybody fork over a stack of shekels and complain that homosexuals are getting married. By the way, I don't have a problem with gays getting "married", but semantically speaking "married" does mean men and women.. but this is not an issue that Presidential candidates should be talking about with all the other problems we are facing in the United States!

*Larry King interviews Ed McMahon - Oh gosh... what a person to use as the poster child for the foreclosure crisis. Everybody likes ol' Ed and nobody wants to see anything bad happen to him, but no way is he a representative of the typical homeowner facing foreclosure. Ed broke his neck more than a year ago... he won't say how... and its affecting his ability to work, although I thought he cohosted the entire Jerry Lewis Telethon last year even though he didn't look too good during the show. Now, the job offers will come pouring in for Ed and he will get his money and all will be well. But the typical Joe Shmoe in foreclosure doesn't have a management team that can put him on a national cable show that will create a fundraiser to pay off his bank loan.

You gotta love Larry for the stuff that comes out of that mouth of his. At one point, Ed's very young wife said she had enough of homeownership, to which Larry correctly but maybe not so tactfully pointed out... "Oh you're never gonna be able to buy another house after this...." which Mrs. McMahon rebuffed Larry's idea of the typical foreclosure rent-a-condo by pointing out that they have seven dogs. And then when Ed pointed out that the house was for sale, but they couldn't find a buyer, Larry blurted out... "Hey isn't that the house that had the mold problem?" I'm sure Ed's realtor was thrilled with that disclosure!

*Mark Goodson and Bill Todman must be proud! - Game Shows seem to be the in thing. Password is a big hit for CBS... All Star Family Feud is back with Al Roker. I just saw the first episode on, and Roker did a decent job. I did notice that Ice T's mother in law is actually quite attractive and was probably better looking than the much younger daughter of Wayne Newton. And that Raven Symone from The Cosby Show - gosh is she nutty and when did she become so uh bosomy? The show is just like those old 70s specials when Richard Dawson would host thrilling battles between the casts of The Love Boat and Soap. The show took a Match Game-esque route with double entendre questions, but Ice-T took the "implication" away by tossing out shmeckle as one of his answers.

Speaking of which, one of my all time favorites is also coming back. I was thinking of going to CA for a few days next month and my trip coincided with the taping of a Match Game pilot. But they moved the pilot up and it was shot last week. Some guy from Mad TV is hosting it and the fact that he is a no name might bode well because that show needs a low key host who will play straight man to the funnier celebrities. The panel looks good - Sarah Silverman.... (go see her amusing Joe Franklin wisecracks in the Aristocrats movie) and Super Dave Osborne who is knee slappingly hilarious! Sometimes he fires off ad libs on Curb Your Enthusiasm that are so hysterical that I don't know how the rest of the cast doesn't start cracking up. According to the game show blog BuzzerBlog, the set is similar to the 70s set which might be a good idea for people looking to capture the old 70s magic. I also noticed that the Roker Family Feud is using the same theme song from the Dawson feud.

*The Best New Show of 2008 - Speaking of the 70's - Ladies and Gentlemen... the most original show I have seen in ages - Swingtown! Imagine if Dallas wasn't about oil barons but a bunch of swingers, and there you have it - a prime time soap opera taking place in the 70s consisting of 3 couples. One couple is very square; one couple is a bunch of wild and crazy swingers and the third couple who just bought a house and moved to "Swingtown" is finding themselves torn between both lifestyles.

Swingtown was supposed to be a mid season replacement but got bumped to the summer by the writers strike and folks, this show is fantastic. Alan Sepinwall. the great Ledger TV Columnist actually hates this show, and I can't figure out why. The only actor I knew from this show was Grant Show who was on Melrose and now sports a cheesy Jason Giambi moustache. The characters are fascinating, and the couple torn in the middle of all this - The Millers are just trying to find their way in that post sexual revolution, pre AIDS era. The square couple is quite amusing - the husband wishes his wife would loosen up, and ultimately you know that as the season progresses, she will come out of her sexually repressed cocoon. And the swinging couple - hes a pilot; shes a former stewardess and the first episode featured a menage a trois featuring a 2nd stewardess. And then moments later the characters are drinking from vintage Tab cans (not the updated 80s cans sold in stores), using Kodak flashbulb cameras, and watching Tony Randall carefully toss out clues in the bonus round of the 10,000 Dollar Pyramid.

Here is why I think this show is so awesome - it's not just about swingers. The kids on the show, preteens and a girl who seems to be about 18 are getting some very heartwarming storylines. This is almost like a Michael Landon show its so sweet! The Miller preteen son befriends a young preteen neighbor girl who runs away from home and builds a tent in the park. He goes to visit her and brings her food and when she says she will go home soon because her mom probably has the cops looking all over for her, he tactlessly but correctly points out that her weird mother doesnt even realize she's missing. The girl ends up coming home anyway when she realizes her cry for attention went unanswered. Another preteen kid gets his mitts on some liquor and gets so drunk that he wakes up in a neighbor's backyard the next day bellowing... "Where the hell am I?" I guess this show took place before cell phones with built in GPS, specifically designed for people who get drunk and wake up lost!

And the Miller's 18 year old daughter - makes an inappropriate pass at her summer school teacher at the local library. The show takes place around the Bicentennial, yet nobody has mentioned Entebbe. While this little library pass is unfolding, the Millers hold a housewarming party where Susan Miller decides to cut loose and rips off the tacky wallpaper left by the previous owner. Since the wallpaper will be replaced, she gives out markers and encourages people to draw on the walls. The party is long over when the daughter comes home, and with some cool 70s music playing in the background - part of the shows phenomenal soundrack - she discovers this crazy wall and with little stars in her eyes writes her intials and her teachers initials and draws a little heart around it. I wonder if in 2008, this same character who seems destined to be an English Professor is drawing little hearts with the initials of one of her college students she is probably banging!

Sepinwall is usually on the money with his reviews... (except for his intense love of The Sopranos) but it seems that Swingtown is the most original, most well presented show that has come our way in a long time. It's definitely Thursday Must See TV for the summer... As for the rest of the drek... just toss that on NBTD-TV!


Check out this young comedy legend:

Monday, June 16, 2008

Tomorrow Never Dies - A Movie Club Column

Hope all you baby daddies out there had a Happy Father's Day!

Today for our movie club, we present the Pierce Brosnan edition of our James Bond series. The 1997 movie Tom'w Never Dies has a timely for the late 90s villian named Eliot Carver.... a rich ego maniac who decides that having a strong media presence means you can control the world.

As I started to prepare today's column, I was trying to think of which 1990s media icon reminded me the most of Carver, and a few come to mind But now that NBC has dusted Tom Brokaw out of mothballs to anchor the coverage of Tim Russert's sudden death, its interesting to note that Russert was the anti Eliot Carver.,.. Russert was actually a very powerful guy.... hosting political debates....calling races on Primary and/or Election Day... (and ticking off Hillary Clinton by accurately calling it for Obama a few weeks earlier than she would have preferred) plus he was not the host, but rather "the moderator" for Meet the Press.... Guests on that show knew they needed to be on their toes because Russert was quite sharp and extremely well prepared. But unlike Carver who tries to manipulate the news for his personal agenda.. the people who have paid tribute to Russert say that he would follow up a tough interview with a teddy bear charm, and people who were just grilled by him, would come off the air afterwards treating him like a buddy. Apparently they felt it was hard to begrudge a tough, well prepared interviewer who was notorious for being such a big family man especially to his dad Big Russ and son Luke who he talked about endlessly. And you can tell by NBC and MSNBC's weekend coverage that this was one well liked fella. Can you imagine him at the hospital introducing himself to his newborn son with a Vader-esque..."Luke I am your father".

In this movie Tom'w is the newspaper that publishes the news before it actually happens in the race for the exclusive, On the other hand, Friday, NBC waited hours to announce the news because they had to track down Tim's Family in Italy, before announcing it on TV. That explains how the retired Tom Brokaw had enough time to throw on a suit and tie and get over to 30 Rock Friday afternoon to cover for Brian WIlliams who was overseas on a different assignment... I thought Brokaw retired and was fishing in North Dakota. If he had not been in NY, who would they have brought in to anchor the coverage....89 year old Edwin Newman?? Wolf Blitzer said on CNN that they knew about it most of Friday..... but felt that the right thing to do was to allow NBC to make the initial announcement. By the way, I had no clue that this was going on...until a buddy of mine sent me an email praising Russert's journalistic integrity. Perhaps the best example of his honesty was the fact that it was his testimony that put away Scooter Libby after that evil George Bush henchman got into a he said - he said battle after he accused Russert of outing Valerie Plame. . And although I rarely watched Meet The Press (except for Sunday night cable repeats), I spent more Sundays watching NBC Football games with one of the best NFL Announcers ever - Charlie Jones... whose death was also announced Friday but got lost in the shuffle.

By the way the funniest news blooper I ever saw was when Tim had egg on his face when he breathlessly reported a big exclusive during the Clinton administration that turned out to be erroeneous - the name of the Clintons new dog!! Hey if your biggest booboo involves a dog's name.. that ain't too shabby.

Getting back to the movie,.. Here is the trailer...

Eliot Carver seems to "see" the future.... his Tom'w newspaper breathlessly announces news moments after Carver creates it. The Carver ego brings to mind some other ego maniacal media moguls from that time period. The Daily News had a wacko publisher named Robert Maxwell who once fell off a yacht and drowned. And the NY Post had a brief fling with nutty ol' Abe Hirschfeld... writers there were so ticked off that they published a special edition where every article blasted the guy. Even Luann in the comics sat on her bed talking to Bernice about how bad the Post was going to be under Hirschfeld. Nowadays we have Rupert Murdoch running The Post and Fox News.... but the Carver network sort of reminded me of CNN. Carver has a sidekick named Gupta... kind of reminds you of Sanjay Gupta... except the Gupta in this movie is American! And the actor who played him also played the caretaker at that mysterious mansion in The Prestige. Carver also has a fascination with GPS....... CNN has a new Sunday afternoon show after Wolf Blitzer with some guy that has GPS in its title... plus Carver also has a henchman named Stamper who looks like a mix of Anderson Cooper and Bull from Night Court.

The movie starts with a bizarre military encounter between a British Naval ship and The Chinese Air Force. The navy is stunned to hear that they are in Chinese waters even though their radar shows that they are not. And how does this relate to Carver? Well Bonds bosses realize that this amazing 1997 concept called Global Positioning Systems.. which we now lovingly call GPS.. and it turns out that the GPS was showing the British ship to be where it shouldnt be due to tampering from a satellite tracked to Carver. As Bond is sent in... he is forced to confront his past... Mrs. Carver played by Teri Hatcher... and a possible future babe..a Chinese agent played by the Chinese Walker Texas Ranger - Michelle Yeoh. I wasn't paying attention to the opening credits so I was surprised to see Hatcher playing Paris Carver... who the heck in 1997 was named Paris?? - Unfortunately, I also had a mental block during the movie and I couldnt remember Teri Hatcher's name.. so after about 20 minutes, I paused the dvd, went online to imdb and looked it up! I must say she looked spectacular!!

Bond's arrival at Carver's shindig.... along with his reunion with Paris... he had loved and left her many years ago - coincides with the launching of Carvers new Global News Network. Prior to the premiere, Carver meets with his worldwide reporters and has an amusing news briefing... interrupted by an update on a new computer software program his company is releasing which Carver requests have enough bugs in it so customers have to come back and buy upgrades. How Gates-ian. He also announces plans to blackmail a politician with a video involving a young cheerleader and then instructs his underlings that when he gets his demands.. to just release the tapes anyway!

As usual, Bond has his debriefing with Q - Desmond Llewelyn's record 16th appearance in the Bond series - who at the time of this movie was 83 (six years younger than Edwin Newman)... and 33 years after his first appearance in Goldfinger... The toys are pretty cool... the cell phone is a hoot with all the stuff it can do... but the 97 futuristic phone has a black and white screen! Bond also gets a snazzy BMW that he can drive utilizing a remote control in the phone... which is activated by flipping it much like one flips one of those teenybopper cell phones with the dual text messaging keyboard. Q seems to have a problem controlling the car... but Bond gets the hang of it pretty quick taking it for a "joyride" at a parking garage. Llewelyn appeared in one more Bond film after this one and died 2 years later in a car crash in England.

Once Bond has his toys.... he is ready to go.... its off to meet Carver on the night of his big coming out party culminated with a live broadcast launching the new network. But a little technical snafu courtesy of Bond... throws Carver off the air causing him to throw a hissy fit... and apparently upsetting him more than the death of a close relative later in the movie. That death... not shown.... is perpetrated by Dr, Kaufman played brilliantly by Italian character actor Vincent Schiavelli. In the movie Dr. Kaufman is the bad guy who can CSI proof any murder scene... and as Bond discovers a woman's body, a tape of a Carver anchorwoman plays on a TV in the background announcing breaking news that the womans body has been found along with that of a dead man! The whole Kaufman storyline made me chuckle since the local Dr Kaufman in our neighborhood has to be one of the nicest gentlest doctors this side of the Mississippi. He also lived in Italy for awhile.... and not only does he speak fluent Italian... but on my wedding video... he offered his best wishes to the Keans.... in Italian!! As The movie's Dr. Kaufman is about to kill Bond, the drs cell phone rings.. it turns out the Carver henchmen are trying to break into Bonds car to retrieve the GPS busting device that Bond had taken from Carver... but they cant get into the souped up car. Its quite funny watching Kaufman interrupt his "I'm about to kill you" moment to politely inquire how to break into his car.

It's very difficult to compare Brosnan's Bond to the legends of Connery and Roger Moore. These movies are more up to date... as are 007's headquarters as the newer movies used more modern sets to ease away from the images of the classic older films. Even Moneypenny continues to get younger.. in this movie she is played by Samantha Bond. Brosnan's Bond gets his uniform dirty... even though he is as debonaire as always.... he actually has hair out of place during the climatic battle with Carver. And even though Bond is supposed to be THE star.... Yeoh's character gets a lot of screen time...yet always gets bailed out by Bond... Apparently there was an idea that her character could one day get a spinoff movie, but that never materialized. She does a pretty decent job however

The storyline moves along very well. Jonathan Pryce turns in a stunning performance as Carver as he concocts an elaborate plan to start a war between England and China. A military intervention looms unless Bond can prove that Carver instigated this brouhaha. And Carver doesn't disappoint pulling out some hysterical quotes,.... such as threatening to drown Bond by tying him and throwing him off a ship... he tells Bond he can be his news "anchorman". Carver also amusingly taunts Yeoh by loudly mimicking her karate moves. That scene along with Kaufman's interruption of his Bond shooting are two of the most amusing scenes in this movie. Futuristic is a difficult concept when viewing a 10 year old movie... but when Lost on TV brings us people moving islands... it would seem that the idea of sabotaging a radar system was incredibly clever. But with a big military movement looming... Bond's race against time creates quite an entertaining adventure in that race against the clock to pin the military attacks on Carver. Ultimately when Carver meets his fate, James Bonds bosses decide to issue a press release that evoke memories of the story of Maxwell who met his demise in 1991, the same year by the way that Russert took over Meet the Press.

As a movie itself, its quite entertaining.... but when it comes to Bond movies, fans of Connery expecting Brosnan to live up to that standard will be disappointed... although probably not as disappointed as Bills Fan Tim Russert was when Scott Norwood missed that field goal in 1991 that handed the Super Bowl to The Giants. On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom... Tomorrow Never Dies gets 3 bladders.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008


Gosh what a week to be a Democrat.. especially in NJ. Barrack clinched the division title while Hillary appeared at Baruch College and added an atta adonay to pray that she can somehow not give up her race for the Democratic ticket. Our former Governor Jim McGreevey is telling a divorce lawyer that he has not been able to manage his finances well enough to pay the amount of child support that his ex wife is asking for. Remember McGreevey was a governor whose job was to figure out how to balance a STATE budget!! And then we have good ol' Frank Lautenberg celebrating victory today after surviving a dirty primary race against Rob Andrews. Even if Andrews is right and Lautenberg is too old to finish out his term, I am sure somebody else not named Rob The Backstabber Andrews will be chosen to finish the term if necessary. Kind of odd that Andrews gambles on his youth... for all we know Lautenberg could very well outlive him.

Anyway, I must admit that I am quite excited! With the zeal of a teenybopper texting in votes for David on American Idol.... I have discovered a terrific new musical artist and a great new song about our former NJ budget balancing Governor!

It's equal to the excitement I felt this past Sunday at the Israel Day Parade when I ran into some old friends who I had not seen since I married Trophy Wife! We even jumped into the parade at one point and joined some marchers just so we could hook up with some friends who were standing across the street. It was also fun heckling those phony Neturei Kartas... a bunch of hasidic impersonators who have some bizarre notions about everything pertaining to Israel. Nobody really takes them seriously and I think the cops actually tossed them out of the parade.

Almost one year ago, The Ballad of Melanie McGuire was released right here on NWOW, a song about the NJ Suitcase Killer that was to the tune of The Mamas and Papas classic song "Creeque Alley". A year later the video still gets comments on my You Tube channel from goofballs who insist she was framed and is 100% innocent. When nutjobs come out of the woodwork claiming that she was framed, I ask one simple question - How do you explain the fact that EZ Pass puts her right near the scene of where poor Mr. McGuire's body was dumped more than a hundred miles from her home. When that callous murdering wench got her EZ Pass statement, she freaked out to see that EZ Pass caught her red handed near where the body was dumped, so she arrogantly called them to complain that the charges were erroneous and they should be removed.

Now, a year later, more loonie kazoonies continue to profess Melanie's innocence. And when I simply ask them Was EZ in on the frame job too... this is the type of response I get from the Melanie supporting morons:

Well, I do think she tried to erase evidence that made her look guilty. She was being investigated.

So she drove the same roads as the people who dumped the body. So what??

We all drive the same roads.

Eventually I guess all these morons will go back into the woodwork.

Shortly after the song was released, I was trolling around late one night on the internet... somewhere after my avatar phase and before my Facebook phase... when I discovered a gentleman named McG... not pronounced McG like McDonalds... but McG (emcee gee) like MC Hammer. And we had a very interesting connection.... as I was putting out a song to a Mamas and Papas tune about this poor fella Jim McGuire... he was putting out a song about another Jim McG - Jim McGreevey! And McG was doing his masterpiece to not one but two Mamas and Papas songs... a medley of California Dreamin' and Monday Monday..

I was very honored when McG asked me to help launch the new song right here on NWOW. We are embedding the song on an audio player here, but my unreliable hosting site Media Max has moved all its files to another site called The Linkup. I hope Linkup is more reliable than Media Max because frankly Media Max was a disaster. Last month they sent me an email telling me my files (all the audio and some video that has appeared here over the last 2 1/2 years) would be moved to Linkup by June 1st, yet that has not been the case. Media Max also sent a link to a program called the "manual uploader" which would allow clients to manually move the files from Media Max to Linkup.. but of course when you click that service - it is a dead link. Of course they continue to charge me every month, although I really don't know exactly what I am paying for. Hopefully, the song will appear here for your listening pleasure. It took me until past 230 this morning to figure out the html coding. At least I had a great Pedro return to keep me entertained.

McG and I have had some interesting chats about McGreevey over the last several months. As we have heard during his divorce trial. he and his partner have some kind of bizarre mixing of their finances going on where McGreevey is saying that he cannot afford to pay the amount of child support being sought by his wife. Yet, McGreevey feels its ok to not work full time but to use that time to attend school to be an Episcople Minister... If anybody else owes child support.. they are forced to work all day and go to school at night. And not to sound like Dr. Laura, but if the kid needs more money, you quit school and take a night job too. I can't understand how McGreevey has the guts to tell this judge that he can't afford the money that his kid needs.

McGreevey stepped down as Governor back in 2004 claiming he was the victim of a shakedown by Golan Cipel with whom he claimed he had been having a homosexual affair. On the surface, you could say.... good for Jim McGreevey for coming out in public that he is gay. If Senator Craig would do likewise, he probably wouldn't be mocked as much as he has been since his toe tapping mens room stall episode. But Craig continues to profess his straightness, even though the media in his state has been writing about his allegedly homosexuality for years.

But did the married McGreevey really step down just because he was gay? A lot of us think that Mcgreevey had a lot of other troubles and used his homosexualty to cover up other growing problems in his administration. Cipel said he was straight as an arrow and had been sexually harrassed by McGreevey. Usually in one of those one word against the other deals, you really do not know how to believe. However, Cipel hired a lawyer named Alan Lowy who I happened to know back then... (although I have not spoken to Alan since all this happened) Lowy is a very staightforward honest lawyer who is neither sneaky nor sleazy like a lot of other lawyers we see in day to day life. The concept that Lowy would try to shake down the governor is just downright preposterous, and he is also not the type of guy who would take on a cause if he tought the story was shaky. This is one major reason why I believe Cipel and not McGreevey.

If we turn the clock back to 2004... we will recall that it was a time when Oceanic flights were not crashing into wacky time traveling islands.... Sawyer was a con man,.... Jack was mourning his dad's death... Locke was wheelchair bound, and Kate was a handcuffed murderess.... and I was planning my wedding! By the way, speaking of Sawyer.. I dont know where that island was moved to... but I think its more a question of "when" it was moved to..... But where the island was before... was a time when Sawyer was living. There is no way he could land in the water after that helicopter jump, manage to swim to shore and still have enough strength to flirt with Juliet... who I think is THE best looking woman on that show! I think the Time Loop theory people are right... the island heals because it takes you back to a time that predates the ailments that either injured you.... or killed you!

Anyway getting back to that fateful summer... McGreevey was facing a lot of problems at that time. And many truly believe that this whole "Im a Gay American" speech was a red herring for the real truth. In one of the best lines in the song, McG evokes memories of the infamous Machiavelli episode where Machiavelli was the code word involving an FBI sting that tied McGreevey directly to a shakedown involving Mark Halper who was being forced to pay money to help save his Piscataway, NJ farm farm from corrupt politicians who ended up taking it away using that sleazy eminent domain. Mark Halper went to the FBI and said he was being shaken down and told them that McGreevey was involved in this.... and that at an upcoming meeting... the code word from McGreevey was going to be "Machiavelli".... sort of like Tippytoe in the infamous Seinfeld episode where George has to steal a woman's answering machine tape. The FBI wired Halper for sound... and McGreevey dropped that fateful M word. Here is the classic line from McG's Jersey Dreamin' - (sung to the line of "Oh Monday Morning.... you gave me no warning of what was to be" line from Monday Monday,....)

Oh Jim McGreevey you gave me no warning of what was to be
That you’d see Mark Halper and say Machiavelli

Every other word … every other word….
Every other word… is fine yeah…
But when Halper came (repeat)
You denied machiavelli had to do with crime

One last liner note before you hear the song.... and this is part of the reason why its not being put out as an mp3 just yet... Its about context. McG has said many times that the song is NOT poking fun at McGreevey's homosexuality.... indeed it was gutsy of him to come out in such a public forum.. Instead, McG says it is McGreevey's resigning due to being gay.. when actually the gayness was not the real reason he was stepping down. In reality, McG says he would have preferred to have every gay reference in the song followed up with the Seinfeld-esque "not that theres anything wrong with it". But its hard to find rhymes for "not that there's anything wrong with it".

And now Ladies and Gentlemen... McG and Jersey Dreamin!

CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK (from January 2007)

Dick Martin died last week, the same week that Password came back. Here in honor of Dick and Password is an old Tom Kennedy episode where Dick tries to pull a fast one with one of his clues. Kennedy has to try to explain what happens but can't keep a straight face as they keep trying to restart the taping. Also quite amusing is the poor woman who doesn’t know the word that Betty White gives as a clue!