Monday, February 04, 2008

They Must Be Super Bowl Champion Giants!

Wow Wow Wow Wow... I'm so freakin shocked I dont know where to start.

First of all I have been battling some kind of sinus infection for the last several days... or maybe its a nasty cold. Nonetheless, the medicine gets your brain a little funny... I noticed all The Kennedys endorsing different candidates and speculated if Name That Tune's Tom Kennedy would endorse Ron Paul.

Then I started reading something about how some of The Lubavitchers think that the late Rabbi Schneerson is really the Messiah. They don't know for sure because he has not come back from the dead to claim his title... but what happens if he did?? Would people believe it was him... or would they think it was just a look-a-like? These are the kinds of weird thoughts that race through the mind when you take too much cold medicine.

Then it occured to me.. lets say The Rebbe is the Messiah... Dont you think he would want to make his appearance in such a way that all would see it?? I mean will mainstream Judaism accept this as really being The Messiah if a few followers announce that he is back?? And then, as I decided to spend Giants Super Bowl Weekend watching old videos of the 1986 Mets, it occured to me. I remembered the guy that parachuted into Shea... and I realized that if a parachutist landed on the field during a timeout... wouldn't that be an incredibly faboulous way to greet The Messiah??

Once the medicine wore off, I reread the dosage and realized I took too much! So don't write nasty letters.. it was the medicine talking!!

Nonetheless, A Parachuting Rebbe became a much talked about theme during the pregame. Originally I was gonna go to my buddy's house.. but for a variety of reasons.. plus this nasty cold/sinus situation....I decided to stay home and watch the game on my 42 inch hdtv and invite a few serious Giants fans plus Pumpstradamus. I was kind of zonked out in the days prior to Sunday... I stayed home Friday and slept a lot and did the same most of Saturday. I was going to go to our synagogue on Saturday afternoon because my Patriot buddy Barry teaches a very popular class... but I just didn't feel up to going there to trash talk him after his class. Ultimately, I didnt wake up till the early evening and realized I had slept off most of the last 2 days and felt remarkably well rested. Trophy Wife and I went to Lowe's to buy a few things Saturday Night and that was the pretty much all I did that day.

Sunday was game day and I made sure to feel as well as possible so I would be mentally ready for the game. Trophy Wife and I stayed home most of the day except for a quick trip to Pathmark to pick up some munchees. I popped on Mike and The Mad Dog... quite impressed that Mike Francesa would do 3 shows on Super Sunday and after signing off from Mike'd up at 12:35, he and the dog would hop a redeye so they could do the radio show from NYC on Monday afternoon at 1pm. Pumpstradamus never quite made it that fateful day... he probably thinks the game is next week. And in what turned out to be the turning point of the day.... I got a call from a guy we'll call "Timmy"... a guy we know from a group Trophy Wife has been a member of for years, and I only mention this for one reason.... in my heart of hearts,.... I believe he helped the Giants win the game!

Timmy wanted to know of any parties going on... of course I had already published my blog saying I would have a few serious Giants fans over... and he must have seen that. He said he was inviting his friend Rich to his house... and I told him to have a good time and watch out for parachuting Rebbes. A minute later, my cell phone rang and it was Timmy again. Timmy, ever the salesman made me an offer I couldn't refuse... (coinciding I guess with the Godfather Audi spoof commercial)... His pitch... he and Rich... a supposed Giant fan would come and bring some pizza. I hit the deal button and told them were more than welcome to join the fun.

Timmy bought a pizza filled with all kinds of goodies... some not good for those with sensitive tummies (and he saved me a trip and a tip by picking up a 2nd pizza too!) Nessim the Cowboy fan was here too... he was allowed to join us on the condition that he keep his Eli Manning trade bashing down to only during the commericals... (See the column from a week ago Friday - I think he still thinks Manning needs to prove himself. In the post game euphoria, we made a video talking about the trade. Later when I calm down I will watch it.) The rules were set.. Silence during the actual game play.. speaking would be allowed between plays.. and I was hoping for a miracle if it was a Giant win or The Rebbe on a parachute! Neither seemed likely as the game got underway.

The first half moved along rather crisply and The Giants went to the break down 7-3. At halftime I got up from my new red couch.. stretched my legs and gave Timmy a quick tour of the house.. since it was his first visit here. I didnt want to waste too much time, and I was still puzzling why there has to be a concert at halftime. Is that so families with young kids have enough time to get home if they leave an SB party at halftime?? Timmy took note of the fact there was a bathroom on every floor... and seemed to not be too comfy with how his multi topping pizza was treating his sensitive tummy.

I cleared the rest of the story with him before publishing... so he knows I am sharing this with my readers. Because while I was clearing it up with him, he disappeared for a loooong time into one of the bathrooms to clear out his colon. He seemed to leave at some point in the 3rd quarter, and didnt come back till the start of the 4th quarter. I was actually concerned and felt that maybe I should have shared a Lactaid with him! He eventually returned, plopped down in a green chair and as I asked him how he was feeling...

"How's your tummy Timmy" I inquired as Manning proceeded to complete that huge 45 yard pass thanks to a missed Patiot tackle to injured Jeremy Shockey's replacement Kevin Boss. (Btw, that shot of Shockey in his luxury box... he must have had a drink in front of him for every minute New England had possession of the ball.) My fellow Giants fans also noticed this coincidence, and realized that maybe rooting for a parachuting Rabbi Schneerson (too much meds for ol' Nate again) was not in the cards. As the next play... we started a new tradition of asking Timmy how his tummy was doing... and voila another Giant completion.. And again... I asked Timmy how his tummy was... and would you believe it.. here we were 3 minutes into the 4th quarter and Manning had just tossed a TD pass to David Tyree giving the Giants an improbable 10-7 lead!

And there you had our new tradition for the rest of the game... before every Giants offensive play... I had to ask Timmy how his tummy was... he would answer and The Giants would march on. (Sometimes we asked about his colon and I thought of calling him "Colin"... How's Your Colon Colin? Roger? Over.) While the Pats were on offense, I prayed for good health for Timmy's tummy because I didnt want to sit and watch the game with him in the bathroom. As a matter of fact after The Giants took a 10-7 lead, Timmy switched to another seat where I promptly informed him that he must return to his original green chair for good luck. He didnt listen to me at first but once Brady tossed that TD pass to Randy Moss... I ORDERED him to return to that green chair!! And he listened.

The miracle pass to Tyree.. where he clutched that ball and it stuck right to his helmet bringing back memories of that infamous construction worker in that 70s Crazy Glue commercial! . I had just asked Timmy how his tummy was... and on and on it went... all the big 4th down clutch plays... I asked Timmy about his tummy. And what preceded the big TD pass to Plaxico?? "Timmy hows your tummy?"

It was just a fantastic night... The Messiah never came that night.. but believe me that was one miracle in Arizona!! Just seconds after the game I zipped off an email to Barry The Patriot Fan... I knew that if I called up he woulda just hung up on my trash talking big I sent him an email asking where I could buy a Patriots 19-0 T-shirt? eBay perhaps?? ..

When all was said and done... it was a 17-14 win... which included a bizarre 4th down Patriot pass play when they should have tried a field goal... and dont you think the Patriots coulda used that extra 3 points as that one second didn't tick off the clock after The Giants swarmed the field in celebration, and the Patriots sulked off, minutes from immortality, but now one of 42 Super Bowl losers.... the victims of a fantastic Giant team.... and Timmy's sensitive tummy. (This reads like a Mamet play)

Now we await Super Tuesday... the big Ticker Tape Parade at the Canyon of Heroes!

Mazel Tov to the Giants and Best Wishes to the '72 Dolphins who also rooted us on for remaining the only NFL Super Bowl Champs to have an undefeated season!!

What an amazing night! By the way, I have some leftover pizza if anyone is interested....

CLIP OF THE WEEK - This comes from Vecman 86.


Nate said...

Sorry Folks.. The NFL made YouTube take off the video!!

Rob said...

Timmy has no stomach problems