Roger Over? (What's Our Vector Victor?)

First of all, before we start.... Is Amy Winehouse a real life person? Or is that Sasha Baron Cohen wearing a JoAnne Worley outfit?


The big news of the week seems to be Roger Clemens appearing before Congress in their steroids witch hunt. There is the old saying that you should be careful whose feet you step on climbing up the ladder of success because they will be the first ones to kick you when you slide down that ladder. And let's admit it... there are a lot of backstabbers we have encountered in our daily lives and we do enjoy watching them fall. I think that is actually kind of normal;

In Clemens case, I must admit I am a huge Mets fan and really never cared much for the guy. In 2000, I was there at Yankee Stadium at the 2nd game of the Shea-Yankee day night doubleheader when he plunked Mike Piazza with a pitch at the time when Piazza was writing the history books as The Best Met Hitter Ever... (We're still a few David Wright years away before Piazza gives up that title)... Then we had that heated World Series when Clemens threw a broken bat at Piazza and we all hated Clemens... although I think deep down we appreciated all of his stellar career accomplishments on the baseball field.

Fast forward now to 2008 and even though Piazza and the rest of us have put the Clemens ugliness behind us... I am still baffled by this circus going on in Washington. It's one thing to kick a dog when its down, but why gang up on Clemens? Shouldn't those elected officials be fixing the mortgage mess or getting our troops out of Iraq instead of asking Clemens which uniform he plans to wear at his Hall of Fame induction? And how about Waxman making a total ass of himself for criticizing Clemens for improperly contacting a witness (his former nanny) when it was his office that asked Clemens to track her down! Clemens later interrupted Waxman's closing comments.

Personally, I really don't care too much about The Clemens controversy. But all the news channels covered it Wed, and it became a battle of the liars to see who was more credible. Was Clemens at a party with Jose Canseco? Was the owner of a golf course able to "produce documentation" showing that Clemens was golfing during this party even though Brain McNamee insists Roger was getting stuff shot up into his body? And is any of this really important?

I can actually understand the whole backlash against Pete Rose, because he is known to be an arrogant jerk in real life who ticked a lot of people off during his career.... but who did Clemens really tick off en route to being such a fantastic pitcher?

One thing has become very obvious to me while watching all the new reality shows during the recently concluded writers strike... America is a country that likes to see people squirm. The most popular reality show during the strike, seems to be that lie detector show on Fox where people have to answer humiliating questions involving their family, friends, and even bosses, while they sit in the audience watching. Are we as a society so resentful of successful people that we have to snicker when everything starts to fall apart? And speaking of Fox.... is it really necessary to make us wait till January! to start 24 again?? They can't roll it out it out in April?? or September?? And no Heroes till September?? I guess I still have Lost... although after last night it appears that Sayid and Ben have been on the same team from Day One??

My nominee for 2007 Entertainer of the Year was Harvey Levin for creating the oh so popular TMZ website and TV Show. TMZ generally seeks to embarrass famous people. Is the daily chronicling of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan really that entertaining? Or other celebs who have problems? One of the funnier comedians I remember as a kid was Foster Brooks... in the era of The Dean Martin Roasts, he walked around "drunk" all the time.. but in reality he was always sober.. it was just his shtick. Nowadays, celebrities realize that being weird gets 'em in the headlines... .one of those Tilly sisters comes to mind, either Jennifer or Meg... and being in the headlines, makes 'em popular. How many of these celebs are pulling the ol' Foster Brooks and really acting weird? Are Michael Jackson and various other weirdos really that strange?? Have you ever seen Professor Irwin Corey in real life? Or Gilbert Gottfried? Or do celebrities realize that we enjoy seeing their downfalls so they put on the crazy act to attract attention?

Thursday, TMZ.com was showing that hysterical clip of a live discussion of The Vagina Monologues on The Today Show where Jane Fonda drops the c word on a stunned and mortified Meredith Viera. Its a funny clip, and even though Jane says it was the title of a monologue, you would think that the daughter of Henry Fonda would be savvy enough to know that you can't say the c word on TV.. even though its ok to have James Bond movies with Pussy Galore and Octopussy... Of course, they can talk about The Vagina Monologues till they're blue in the testicles... but God forbid Jane Fonda drops the C-word! Now all hell breaks loose... (even though The Today Show airs out of 30 Rock... the same building which created Triumph the Insult Comic Dog who recorded a song called "Cats are C-words".)

And isn't language all about context?? Hey The James Bond characters Pussy Galore and Octopussy, and The Sopranos Big Pussy are ok... and MTV can have a show called "pimp my ride" which has nothing to do with hookers.. but if an MSNBC commentator makes a wisecrack that Chelsea Clinton is being "pimped" out,.. everybody goes nuts because the word pimp could be looked at possibly as connecting Chelsea to the world's oldest profession! Just like Imus's usage of the word ho's which got him into such hot water. It was used as slang.... not to imply the Rutgers women were hookers... but nonetheless, the PC Police were all out in full force.

And speaking of Rutgers women... how insulting was that on Monday Night when I saw how Tennessee's clock operator totally screwed over the Rutgers womens team by stopping the clock so a post buzzer foul whistle was blown before the game ended. Don't you think this fiasco ticked off the Rutgers team a bit more than what some old man on the radio says? But despite this clock stoppage fiasco, barring some kind of collosal intervention, they are not replaying that last second or changing the outcome.. showing that you can't change sports history. It happened and that is the way it is.

Clemens has the Cy Youngs and the 350+ wins... and Bonds has the home runs, and like it or not, there was a period of time when steroids were not illegal in the Baseball Union Agreement. So, for us to go back in time, and strike down Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmiero for their statistical "accomplishments" is just a waste of time. I wonder what happens if it turns out that alcohol is found to enhance one's ability to hit the ball? Are they going to go back in time and try to change Mickey Mantle's Foster Brooks-esque attack on the record books?

On a related note, I heard that after the Grammys, Natalie Cole had some comments about Amy Winehouse. And let's admit it.. we all watched her performance to see if she would have a nervous breakdown on live TV. Cole says Winehouse should not be nominated for and given awards until she is treated for her demons... I disagree. This is the only opportunity they had to nominate her for New Artist of The Year... and based on the awards she won, she earned them since she was one Herbie Hancock stunner from a complete Barack Obama-esque February clean sweep... Speaking of Obama.. has anyone else seen John King on CNN and his crazy graphics machine that calculates the delegates? And if I'm not mistaken, isn't he engaged to CNN reporter Dana Bash? Have you noticed that every time she does an outdoor report on a windy day, she always seems to push aside her hair while flashing her gigantic diamond ring??

But should we take away sports records and award nominations for "personal demons" when there is drug use involved? Awards are the bread and butter of these industries.. they sell concert tickets and make memorabilia more valuable. Do we punish the performer who is caught by TMZ checking into rehab and reward those that keep their problems quiet and don't seek help? How many people came out of the wood work after Heath Ledger died claiming that he had an addiction problem?? Taking a performer's accomplishments and subsequent pay away is not the solution....

Maybe they should stand Pat? (not O'Brien; he's in rehab) In this TMZ (or maybe TMI) era of Lets Embarrass the Celebrity... a star might just choose to stay out of a "confidential" Rehab by saying... "They're tryin' to make me go to rehab; I said no, no, no."