Well we are back from vacation! Trophy Wife and I spent a few days in MD. and we also took a bus trip to Atlantic City... MD was fun.. I have a few cousins living there. and even better, it gave me a chance to see all 11 of my 1st cousins from my mother's side in a 2 wk period. As far as I can recall, the last time all 12 of us were at the same place at the same time was at my cousins wedding way back in the early 70s.. we came pretty close in the late 90s when all except 1 showed up at another wedding.. and 10 of the 12 of us were at my wedding in Sept. of '04.
MD was sweltering... so we didn’t do too much outside. We went to the Inner Harbor which coincided with the Baptist’s huge convention. This Week in Baseball also was in Baltimore last wk too… How about that? We even saw some Amish people on vacation! I have never ever ever gone somewhere and seen Amish people on vacation.. unless it was that Rumspringa or Ooshpritzin or whatever its called.. that time when they go through their wild phase and determine if Amish is a life for them. They didn’t seem to be shpritzing though since they were wearing their regular Jebediah Butter Churning Outfits.
We had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.. at around the same time the Baptists had their break. I actually found a lost ID badge near the water and thought about sneaking into their afternoon session to see what was going on there... Some of the Baptists were germaphobes too. The people at the next table ordered a glass of steaming hot water... and proceeded to soak their silverware in it before they ate from them. Too bad we left before the food came.... who knows what they did to the plate before they ate from it??
AC was fun too... Trophy Wife and I took the bus from Edison for about 26 bucks.. then they give you back 20 bucks which is directly deposited in the Showboat buffet’s cash register!! Nothing beats that buffet... and after about an hour of gastronomic delights, and a little tummy ache, we meandered off to the rest of the casino.. Trophy Wife likes to play the slots... and I strolled along the boardwalk heading to the Big Dollar Store, but it started raining so instead I went to play video poker at the Taj Mahal. They have a 5 card draw game, that actually tells you in advance what the sixth card is going to be when you take extra cards!! Now I know what its like for Kreskin to play poker! Trophy Wife actually discovered the Match Game slot machine which has nothing to do with Match Game but they use slot characters for Gene Rayburn, Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly and they occassionally have a gimmick where you can play the big money super match. Lame-o.
Right outside the door near the Match Game, the casino had a Family Feud show where they charge 25 bucks to get in. I’ve heard of the Price is Right road show.. but frankly who the heck would pay money to see a game show that you can watch for free on any given day featuring any of the 4 different hosts?? I’m a huge Match Game fan and frankly I wouldn’t pay to see a casino Match Game if Gene Rayburn came back from the dead and 70’s Elaine Joyce and 70’s JoAnne Pflug paraded nude around the studio while BLANK-ing Richard Dawson. (Please insert your Bob Crane wisecracks here!) I actually snuck in the back and watched some Family Feud for a little bit, but when I went to retrieve Trophy Wife to join me, she misunderstood the concept of “quietly sneaking in” and she went waltzing in like a model on the catwalk.. right past the "security" who promptly offered to show us the door unless we wanted to part with 50 bucks... But since we already had made a nice donation to the slots... we decided to find something else to do.
I also took some time to catch up with the news last week. A few items caught my attention which leads to today’s awarding of the Ann Coulter Jerk of the Week Award. Here are the nominees.
THE PERSON WHO LEAKED OUT THE RUSH LIMBAUGH VIAGRA STORY - Imagine that.. ol rush gets detained for 3 hours at palm beach airport after he gets caught by customs official with a bottle of prescription viagra written out to somebody else! Not the best thing for a recovering prescription drug addict to get caught with... Shame on those people at the airport for releasing that info that would embarrass ol' Rush... hee hee... actually its kind of funny... I can only imagine how he and his way too beautiful girlfriend Daryn Kagan discovered that little rush couldn’t stand at attention... What kind of tricks did she resort to before he gave up and decided to go for the little pill?? One can only imagine her sashaying around the house wearing her "I love Bush" thong to see if they could prevent Rush from sagging as poorly as Bush's popularity rating. By the way this info was only released because Rush is famous.. If he was still toiling away at the Kansas City Royals PR office writing press releases about Matt Stairs clutch game winning 2 run homer helping the Royals improve to an exciting 26-50, none of this would have ever received an iota of media attention.
PRESIDENT BUSH - A perennial contender... I read a review of an HBO Real Sports about a story involving a huge outbreak of asthma in Pittsburgh among youngsters living there. I’m starting to watch more of the network especially that Life with Louie show... Imagine.. a crazy Kramer-esque neighbor showers in Louie's apt and parades around flashing his shmeckle! That’s wackier than my Match Game casino show. What other network could show such craziness? Anyway, it turns out there is a coal burning plant in Pittsburgh that is belching out some dangerous chemicals, an apparent no no according to EPA requirements and a new law called New Source Review. Well.. the big shots at these aforementioned plants also donated some huge amounts of shekels to President Bush and the Republicans and therefore some of these environmental requirements were subsequently waived. Former NJ Governor Christie Whitman who was the EPA director during the early dark days of this horrific Bush administration admits that rules were changed around at the expense of these poor little kids. On the show she complains that when she tried to enforce New Source Review at these plants. Bush quickly had her oversight over power plants taken away from her. The story was reported by Jon Frankel who used to be the weekend sports reporter on Channel 4 in the pre Bruce Beck days.
THE RELATIVES WHO WANTED THE MAN DECLARED DEAD -- A man disappeared during a sailing trip last September when Hurricane Rita hit the Gulf of Mexico.. Some of his relatives wanted him declared dead even though traditionally in a case like this, you need to wait 5 years. The law was amended after the tragic events of 9-11 when it became painfully obvious that day that the ”missing” people in the towers who were unaccounted for had obviously died. The waiting period was waived so the widows (including those so scorned by Ann Coulter) could collect on their insurance premiums.
The relatives bastardized the intent of the 9-11 law by trying to get a declaration that he was dead. They realized that if they declared him dead.. the widow's marriage to him would not hit the magical 5 year mark. According to the pre-nup, if the marriage lasted less than 5 years,... the wife would get only about 125k from the hubby's multi million dollar estate... They actually went to court to declare him legally dead so they could toss her out on the street and enjoy his shekels... I thought the five year rule was for divorce... not for widows.. but the Supreme Court heard the challenge made by Anna Nicole Smith's octonogenerian's late husband's son after he died a year or so after he married her.. the son by the way just dropped dead last week.. Incidentally the judge shot down the relatives' request to declare him dead.. And the man who died in the water… made his millions by bottling water!
THE TITLE SCAMMER - This one takes the cake. Allow me to introduce you to Fermin Galvez who was just convicted in an outrageous scam this past Friday. Fermin decided to be a stud and hooked up with a married woman. Unfortunately, the woman got sick and lapsed into a coma. Ol’ Fermin the stud got another girlfriend to pose as the coma woman and the impostor signed the title over so it appeared that Fermin and the coma woman were now the owners.
He then proceeded to sell the home to an unwitting couple who by some bizarre stroke of good luck had no money to put down, and managed to take out a huge mortgage with no money down... (trust me,. the rate on the 2nd loan must have been astronomical!) Why were they lucky to put no money down? 3 weeks after the closing, the first time buyers show up to start moving their stuff into the new home... and not only was Fermin still living there.. but he refused to let them in. The cops were called and the seller showed them a 2nd forged title showing that he still owned the house!! Amazingly the cops told the buyers to leave the premises! Ultimately the rat was caught when the family of the woman in the coma showed the courts medical proof that the woman was comatose the day “she“ signed the title over to Fermin.
They’re still trying to sort this mess out.. But the “buyers” will probably be on the hook for their mortgage payments until this is straightened out.. And since this will take months to sort out.. once they are late on their mortgage payments, their credit will take a huge hit and adversely affect their chances to buy a house that they will be allowed to live in. And as for the coma woman’s husband, legally he will ultimately be awarded the home, since by law a spouse is always on the title. …(I’m surprised this wasn’t caught during the first forged title…) The big financial loser will be the mortgage company that ends up losing the money that Galvez stole from them… But… the biggest loser is Fermin Galvez.. this weeks winner of the Ann Coulter Jerk of the Week Award!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
TV 2Q - Plus Some Well Deserved Coulter Bashing!
In the unlikely event that GOP bigshot Georgette Mosbacher happens to Google her way into this blog…. Well, Georgette, you may want to skip the sixth paragraph of today’s column! Since I am going on vacation next wk, I’ll write a little more than usual, so save it up till I come back to blogging land. Also word out to my homies Neil and Young Chuck for mentioning me in their blogs! I worked with Young Chuck back in the early 90s, and I called him that because he bore an uncanny resemblance to Chuck Scarborough. I haven’t seen him in at least 12 years and it was neat that he thought of me! He apparently isn’t aware that I wrote about his incredibly unforgettable appearance on Who Wants to be a Millionaire... I also had a heated debate in the comments section with "Belchie" about how far Chuck went on the show! Maybe I'll get "Belchie" and Young Chuck on a future podcast so we can finally settle this issue once and for all!
As we begin to prepare for next week’s vacation, its time for the NWOW (Nate's World of Words) Quarterly Television Report. It sounds more official when we call them "quarterly" reports. and this would be a good time to take a look back at the last 3 months... plus take a peek at what the new tv season will look like. We'll get into more details about the new season in the Fall…. probably after baseball season when I start noticing that the New Season has arrived.
The 05-06 season wrapped up just before Memorial Day… we already did a column on the season finale of Lost... Other shows wrapped up their seasons last month, but it seems that the season finales are like the last day of school... because the moment Chuck and Sue start delivering the 11 oclock news... I already have forgotten what I just watched. I got a kick the other day when they did a story about a prom that was ruined when several students were sent to a local hospital for blood tests after being falsely accused of drinking at the prom. Now NJ 101.5 will be sponsoring a do-over prom. What happens if somebody didn’t like their prom date? Do they still have to take the same person to Prom 2?
Once the warm weather rolls in, I pretty much stop watching the tube except for baseball and the news. Besides the 2 remaining episodes of Game Show Marathon I doubt Ill watch any of the summer shows except possibly The Contender on ESPN. I did watch Big Brother back when it first started.. and i also liked that goofy show a few years ago where new actors re-enacted scripts of old sitcoms such as What’s Happening?
While watching my old favorite Larry King the other night, I saw a debate about Ann Coulter and her absurd new book where she criticizes the 9-11 widows calling them the "Witches of East Brunswick" and says they are milking this tragedy for all its worth while they enjoy their millions. Before I even address this absurdity. I first want to apologize to Georgette Mosbacher because the next paragraph will absolutely positively offend her. Mosbacher who is incredibly pretty and much older than you think... was quite insulted on Monday night’s show when Charlie Rangel accurately noted that Ann Coulter always wears short skirts for her talk show appearances. Ms. Mosbacher thought that comment was offensive.
Coulter is one of those hot blonde right wing wacko spinsters who is jealous of the 9-11 women. I saw her on Leno the other night (while catching comedy genius George Carlin) and she over enunciates her evil words like the over the top acting by the villains from the old Batman TV show. Carlin wisely didn’t heckle her since it would have been like getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. Unlike that miserable wretch Coulter, the 9-11 widows were women who actually found husbands ..These women were loved and admired, and unlike Ann… were desired. Coulter despite her good looks, goes home alone each night and the only action she gets is from her battery operated apparatus. Nobody wants her. Nobody cares about her opinions. Bush is an incredibly incompetent dumb lousy president and Coulter just doesn’t want to admit it. She also takes issue with Cindy Sheehan whose poor son was a victim of this unnecessary war. This “Operation Restore Democracy” is a bunch of malarkey… Keep in mind that the Mets season took a turn for the better when they added 2 pitchers who defected from Cuba. Democracy Shmemocracy…. Maybe if there are more Communist countries for baseball players to defect from.. the Mets will get even better!
Wanna buy a book? Pick up the fine tomes written by Anderson Cooper or Tim Russert from Meet the Press. If you must read Coulter’s book... get it from the library... it's FREE, and it won't pad Coulter's pockets. Talk about irony…. She spends so much time talking about a Bush that can‘t get the job done… .
Ok can someone please call Georgette back to the blog?? Its ok to come back now…..
'05 - '06 RECAP
The season finales each year get more action packed as producers seem to think the season must end with a major twist... CSI had Grissom doing the ol' hoochie mcscoochie with his co-worker, CSI NY had a main character shooting her boyfriend in self defense, and CSI Miami had David Caruso's new wife shot dead.. Don’t his ears hurt every time he yanks his sunglasses off with that dramatic flair??
24 had Jack Bauer shipped off on a slow boat to China.. so maybe the new season will start in the middle of the sea as he spends the 1st 3 hours swimming for shore? I didn’t think the season was that great but Jean Smart was awesome as the First Lady! Grey’s Anatomy has McDreamy and McSlutty hooking up again... and killed off the heart transplant guy Denny causing his dr./paramour to bolt out of the hospital saying this was not the career for her.. (The actress has a movie career.. she won’t be out of work for too long) Desperate Housewives got rid of the Applewhites and gave Marcia Cross enough meaty scenes to get her a much deserved Emmy. And of course the gray haired guy won American Idol.. the most popular show in the world… yet I really lose interest after the Gong Showesque audition episodes at the beginning of the season.
I did add 2 new shows to my TV repertoire this past quarter. Now that we finally get HBO, I saw this season's episodes of The Sopranos. It seems to be ok... I didnt see the earlier years, and one day.,.. i might watch them on dvd... The show really does not glamorize the mob, and actually the better episodes were the ones where they acted like buffoons.. specifically the guy who mugged Lauren Bacall for her freebies and the fact that he later hooked up with Julianna Marguilies' recovering alcoholic character, and was such a great help to her recovery, promptly reintroduced her to a life of drugs and alcohol. It was troubling to see Vito killed because he is gay. Whatever happened to the ol' "He's gay - Not that there's anything wrong with it."
The other show is Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's Shalom in the Home. Each week he and his little trailer visit another family in crisis and Shmuley does his thing to bring some sanity into these dysfunctional homes. Its hard to tell how much these families gain from his feedback, but so far he has come up with some solid advice. I first met Shmuely at an appearance several yrs ago at Lincoln Square Synagogue that was also attended by one of his fellow Oxford scholars.. a gentleman by the name of Cory Booker - now Newark's Mayor!
SITH hit a high point a few weeks ago when his show did an episode with a lesbian family. Considering his ultra orthodox background, it was quite interesting to see how accepting he was... he even invited the couple and their daughter to his home! And then he dropped in an interesting factoid... his brother is gay! I did not know that. It’s interesting to see how an ultra orthodox Jew is more accepting of a homosexual than a Sopranos mobster!
'06 - '07 PREVIEW
Now the new season schedule has been announced, and at this early stage, none of the new shows look too spectacular. Usually I will notice who is doing well in the Nielsens in the early weeks of the season, and I will start catching those shows in November. The two that seem to be getting the most ink are the sitcom and drama about a Saturday Night Live type show.. Everyone seems to think SNL is becoming a big hit again. Actually, its not too entertaining, but it gets buzz because people download the pre-recorded bits from the internet. The live stuff? Fooey.. And now 2 shows are going to go behind the scenes of that type of show. How about a behind the scenes show about Fridays and the infamous night that Andy Kauffman cursed out the cast on live TV? That would be worth watching.
The networks announced their schedules in May, but then NBC asked for a mulligan and re-introduced a brand new schedule. Based on an early glimpse, Sunday looks to have some potential.. American Dad moves up an hour forming an 8 to 9;30 line-up of The Simpsons, AD and Family Guy. CBS meanwhile becomes the “Columbia Bruckheimer Sunday” network as the TV genius takes over the post 60 minutes lineup with The Amazing Race, Cold Case and Without a Trace. Thursday at 9 will also include a showdown between CSI on CBS and Grey’s Anatomy on ABC. And, Tuesdays from 9 to 11 will have a Law and Order twin bill with Criminal Intent and SVU.
A few other things to point out… The WB and UPN merge this fall and the new network.. CW basically will fill its schedule with shows that I have never seen and will probably never watch. Katie Couric will anchor the CBS Evening News, and Meredith Viera will replace her on Today… and Rosie O’Donnell will replace her on the View. Rosie O’Donnell will be replaced by… uh…. Hmmm, what exactly was Rosie doing??
And football will have a new spot in primetime.. ABC attacks the vast Saturday night wasteland by throwing on a weekly college football game that will probably get huge ratings in Michigan and Florida, but not here. And Monday Night Football is no longer on ABC… but Al Michaels and John Madden take their act to NBC for Sunday Night Football. MNF will continue on ESPN and more than likely will get better ratings than the ABC replacement programming.
The actual season will start in early Sept, right after all the annual ceremonies commemorating 9-11. By then hopefully Ann Coulter's absurd comments will be long forgotten, and construction will be underway on the new WTC. I almost hate to agree with Donald Trump but he has a point that all the parties involved should just put all the squabbles aside and rebuild the old Twin Towers.. I think we should capture Osama Bin Laden - alive.. bring him to the ground breaking ceremony, and hang him.... after allowing 9-11 survivors to hack at his testicles blindfolded as if he were a pinata. Then once he takes his last breath, let the groundbreaking celebrations begin. Sell the whole thing on pay per view and give the proceeds to the 9-11 widows.
In late October once Billy Wagner throws the last pitch, and Lastings Milledge makes the catch to help the Mets win the World Series, we will revisit the fall season to see which of these shows are here to stay. That will also coincide with the mid term elections which will show us once and for all how sick America is of George Bush,…but Anne Coulter no doubt will blame the 9-11 widows for that…. Or maybe by then she will start picking on Holocaust survivors… Elie Wiesel better watch out.
As we begin to prepare for next week’s vacation, its time for the NWOW (Nate's World of Words) Quarterly Television Report. It sounds more official when we call them "quarterly" reports. and this would be a good time to take a look back at the last 3 months... plus take a peek at what the new tv season will look like. We'll get into more details about the new season in the Fall…. probably after baseball season when I start noticing that the New Season has arrived.
The 05-06 season wrapped up just before Memorial Day… we already did a column on the season finale of Lost... Other shows wrapped up their seasons last month, but it seems that the season finales are like the last day of school... because the moment Chuck and Sue start delivering the 11 oclock news... I already have forgotten what I just watched. I got a kick the other day when they did a story about a prom that was ruined when several students were sent to a local hospital for blood tests after being falsely accused of drinking at the prom. Now NJ 101.5 will be sponsoring a do-over prom. What happens if somebody didn’t like their prom date? Do they still have to take the same person to Prom 2?
Once the warm weather rolls in, I pretty much stop watching the tube except for baseball and the news. Besides the 2 remaining episodes of Game Show Marathon I doubt Ill watch any of the summer shows except possibly The Contender on ESPN. I did watch Big Brother back when it first started.. and i also liked that goofy show a few years ago where new actors re-enacted scripts of old sitcoms such as What’s Happening?
While watching my old favorite Larry King the other night, I saw a debate about Ann Coulter and her absurd new book where she criticizes the 9-11 widows calling them the "Witches of East Brunswick" and says they are milking this tragedy for all its worth while they enjoy their millions. Before I even address this absurdity. I first want to apologize to Georgette Mosbacher because the next paragraph will absolutely positively offend her. Mosbacher who is incredibly pretty and much older than you think... was quite insulted on Monday night’s show when Charlie Rangel accurately noted that Ann Coulter always wears short skirts for her talk show appearances. Ms. Mosbacher thought that comment was offensive.
Coulter is one of those hot blonde right wing wacko spinsters who is jealous of the 9-11 women. I saw her on Leno the other night (while catching comedy genius George Carlin) and she over enunciates her evil words like the over the top acting by the villains from the old Batman TV show. Carlin wisely didn’t heckle her since it would have been like getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. Unlike that miserable wretch Coulter, the 9-11 widows were women who actually found husbands ..These women were loved and admired, and unlike Ann… were desired. Coulter despite her good looks, goes home alone each night and the only action she gets is from her battery operated apparatus. Nobody wants her. Nobody cares about her opinions. Bush is an incredibly incompetent dumb lousy president and Coulter just doesn’t want to admit it. She also takes issue with Cindy Sheehan whose poor son was a victim of this unnecessary war. This “Operation Restore Democracy” is a bunch of malarkey… Keep in mind that the Mets season took a turn for the better when they added 2 pitchers who defected from Cuba. Democracy Shmemocracy…. Maybe if there are more Communist countries for baseball players to defect from.. the Mets will get even better!
Wanna buy a book? Pick up the fine tomes written by Anderson Cooper or Tim Russert from Meet the Press. If you must read Coulter’s book... get it from the library... it's FREE, and it won't pad Coulter's pockets. Talk about irony…. She spends so much time talking about a Bush that can‘t get the job done… .
Ok can someone please call Georgette back to the blog?? Its ok to come back now…..
'05 - '06 RECAP
The season finales each year get more action packed as producers seem to think the season must end with a major twist... CSI had Grissom doing the ol' hoochie mcscoochie with his co-worker, CSI NY had a main character shooting her boyfriend in self defense, and CSI Miami had David Caruso's new wife shot dead.. Don’t his ears hurt every time he yanks his sunglasses off with that dramatic flair??
24 had Jack Bauer shipped off on a slow boat to China.. so maybe the new season will start in the middle of the sea as he spends the 1st 3 hours swimming for shore? I didn’t think the season was that great but Jean Smart was awesome as the First Lady! Grey’s Anatomy has McDreamy and McSlutty hooking up again... and killed off the heart transplant guy Denny causing his dr./paramour to bolt out of the hospital saying this was not the career for her.. (The actress has a movie career.. she won’t be out of work for too long) Desperate Housewives got rid of the Applewhites and gave Marcia Cross enough meaty scenes to get her a much deserved Emmy. And of course the gray haired guy won American Idol.. the most popular show in the world… yet I really lose interest after the Gong Showesque audition episodes at the beginning of the season.
I did add 2 new shows to my TV repertoire this past quarter. Now that we finally get HBO, I saw this season's episodes of The Sopranos. It seems to be ok... I didnt see the earlier years, and one day.,.. i might watch them on dvd... The show really does not glamorize the mob, and actually the better episodes were the ones where they acted like buffoons.. specifically the guy who mugged Lauren Bacall for her freebies and the fact that he later hooked up with Julianna Marguilies' recovering alcoholic character, and was such a great help to her recovery, promptly reintroduced her to a life of drugs and alcohol. It was troubling to see Vito killed because he is gay. Whatever happened to the ol' "He's gay - Not that there's anything wrong with it."
The other show is Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's Shalom in the Home. Each week he and his little trailer visit another family in crisis and Shmuley does his thing to bring some sanity into these dysfunctional homes. Its hard to tell how much these families gain from his feedback, but so far he has come up with some solid advice. I first met Shmuely at an appearance several yrs ago at Lincoln Square Synagogue that was also attended by one of his fellow Oxford scholars.. a gentleman by the name of Cory Booker - now Newark's Mayor!
SITH hit a high point a few weeks ago when his show did an episode with a lesbian family. Considering his ultra orthodox background, it was quite interesting to see how accepting he was... he even invited the couple and their daughter to his home! And then he dropped in an interesting factoid... his brother is gay! I did not know that. It’s interesting to see how an ultra orthodox Jew is more accepting of a homosexual than a Sopranos mobster!
'06 - '07 PREVIEW
Now the new season schedule has been announced, and at this early stage, none of the new shows look too spectacular. Usually I will notice who is doing well in the Nielsens in the early weeks of the season, and I will start catching those shows in November. The two that seem to be getting the most ink are the sitcom and drama about a Saturday Night Live type show.. Everyone seems to think SNL is becoming a big hit again. Actually, its not too entertaining, but it gets buzz because people download the pre-recorded bits from the internet. The live stuff? Fooey.. And now 2 shows are going to go behind the scenes of that type of show. How about a behind the scenes show about Fridays and the infamous night that Andy Kauffman cursed out the cast on live TV? That would be worth watching.
The networks announced their schedules in May, but then NBC asked for a mulligan and re-introduced a brand new schedule. Based on an early glimpse, Sunday looks to have some potential.. American Dad moves up an hour forming an 8 to 9;30 line-up of The Simpsons, AD and Family Guy. CBS meanwhile becomes the “Columbia Bruckheimer Sunday” network as the TV genius takes over the post 60 minutes lineup with The Amazing Race, Cold Case and Without a Trace. Thursday at 9 will also include a showdown between CSI on CBS and Grey’s Anatomy on ABC. And, Tuesdays from 9 to 11 will have a Law and Order twin bill with Criminal Intent and SVU.
A few other things to point out… The WB and UPN merge this fall and the new network.. CW basically will fill its schedule with shows that I have never seen and will probably never watch. Katie Couric will anchor the CBS Evening News, and Meredith Viera will replace her on Today… and Rosie O’Donnell will replace her on the View. Rosie O’Donnell will be replaced by… uh…. Hmmm, what exactly was Rosie doing??
And football will have a new spot in primetime.. ABC attacks the vast Saturday night wasteland by throwing on a weekly college football game that will probably get huge ratings in Michigan and Florida, but not here. And Monday Night Football is no longer on ABC… but Al Michaels and John Madden take their act to NBC for Sunday Night Football. MNF will continue on ESPN and more than likely will get better ratings than the ABC replacement programming.
The actual season will start in early Sept, right after all the annual ceremonies commemorating 9-11. By then hopefully Ann Coulter's absurd comments will be long forgotten, and construction will be underway on the new WTC. I almost hate to agree with Donald Trump but he has a point that all the parties involved should just put all the squabbles aside and rebuild the old Twin Towers.. I think we should capture Osama Bin Laden - alive.. bring him to the ground breaking ceremony, and hang him.... after allowing 9-11 survivors to hack at his testicles blindfolded as if he were a pinata. Then once he takes his last breath, let the groundbreaking celebrations begin. Sell the whole thing on pay per view and give the proceeds to the 9-11 widows.
In late October once Billy Wagner throws the last pitch, and Lastings Milledge makes the catch to help the Mets win the World Series, we will revisit the fall season to see which of these shows are here to stay. That will also coincide with the mid term elections which will show us once and for all how sick America is of George Bush,…but Anne Coulter no doubt will blame the 9-11 widows for that…. Or maybe by then she will start picking on Holocaust survivors… Elie Wiesel better watch out.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Game Show Marathon - Or Is It A Sprint?
A few months ago, I did a column here about the Top 14 game shows of all time.. and one of the rabid Price is Right fans who posted a comment.. Louis from Tampa… asked me what I thought were the worst game shows of all time. I have been mulling that over recently, and at some point, I will write a column about that very topic.. but for now I want to see a little more of Game Show Marathon to see where it would fit on that list. So far it looks like it won’t make the list, but I must admit that although it could have been executed better, it is a pretty interesting concept to have celebrities compete on a different game show each week.
I have always thought that reality shows were really fancy game shows. Originally reality shows were really documentaries.. But the producers decided to call them “reality shows” so the goofy kids watching would not think it was some kind of stuffy PBS documentary. Exhibit A would be “The Real World” on MTV, the original of the reality shows..
Along came Mark Burnett a few years ago and thought.. Hey lets make it a competition with a big money prize at the end of the reality rainbow. He created “Survivor” which took the real world to an exotic island and created a contest involving strategy and fitness both mentally and physically. After “Survivor”, almost all of the reality shows needed a finish line to have its participants thrive for. So with the exception of the freak show involving Paris Hilton, and Lionel Ritchie’s skeletal daughter… (Remember his 80s song to her….“Hello…. Is it food you’re looking for?”), most of the reality shows are now game shows.
Which brings us to GSM… The producers must have thought.. lets have a reality show where the contestants compete on a game show.. And now we have officially come full circle! I have reserved comment on it till now, since I was never really a big fan of the first 3 game shows that were featured in the competition, but now that we have seen Leslie Nielsen yelling out big bucks, no whammies on Press Your Luck and with old favorites Card Sharks, Family Feud, and Match Game looming in the coming weeks… I felt it was time to weigh in with my thoughts on this program.
The producers decided to remake CBS versions of some older classics… and rebuilt the sets and plunked today’s B-list stars right in the middle as if they traveled to the set in a Time Machine. . So far they have done 4 different games with one winner emerging from each game.. Those 4 semifinalists will advance to Card Sharks and Match Game.. And the champions will recruit their real families for Family Feud. I wonder how they will do the Feud… Richard Dawson did the ABC version, but the CBS version with a slightly different set and rules was the one hosted by Ray Combs.
The first episode featured “The Price is Right”.. The Bob Barker fans were not too thrilled to see Rikki Lake hosting it.. and I am not sure who drew the short straw to break the news to Bob that they would be doing his show without him. However, from a ratings standpoint, it was a good idea to do the show… since it is so incredibly popular.. It has run for more than 30 years on CBS Daytime and is the anchor of the consistently highly rated daytime lineup.
My idea that might have smoothed this over better.. Why not let Bob host TPIR and one or two of the other shows while rotating with Ricki Lake? They could have done Truth or Consequences with Barker.. Since that was the show he hosted for a ton of years before The Price is Right. Keep in mind that the GSM concept ran very successfully in England with 2 hosts named Ant and Dec. Ratings-wise, it made sense to premiere with TPIR… but I think that future editions of GSM should not include it as long as Bob Barker is around.. since it strikes me as being incredibly disrespectful having someone else hosting it while he is still alive and kicking.
The show really hit its stride with Thursday night’s episode of Press Your Luck. This was the type of show that employed strategy and had a sense of excitement. However I should point out that the celebrity contestants weren’t as familiar with the nuances of the game as regular contestants were back when the show originally ran. It also ranked 7th on my February 2006 list of the 14 Best Game Shows of All Time. Ricki did a decent job filling the late Peter Tomarken’s shoes and the episode was quite exciting, although it was not the smartest idea to kill the momentum by breaking for commercial with only 4 spins left in the game. The questions were also a bit too easy meaning there were more spins awarded to the players… (And why are they called spins since nothing is spun?) Nonetheless, it was very exciting and well done and might have been the high point for GSM since fans watching the later episodes of Match Game and Family Feud will inevitably start comparing Ricki to hosting legends Gene Rayburn and Richard Dawson.
As for the other two shows, I never really liked Lets Make a Deal.. And I only watched a few minutes of it on GSM. A lot of the bulletin boards say Deal or No Deal is really the new version of that show.. (although it does have elements of Press Your Luck since all the contestants do is Press Their Luck)… I am impressed that Howie Mandel always knows the names of the models. A recent gay contestant got so excited he would run up to each model after she opened his suitcase and give her a hug… This was on a day when they wore incredibly low cut dresses, and boobies were everywhere. How many heterosexual guys will go on next season acting gay just to get a nice little huggie with the hot models?
The other show was Beat the Clock.. That show originally aired way before my time… but I think GSM did a terrific job recreating it.. The showed clips from the 50s and then had the players re-create the very same stunts.
Two things stood out… the well polished floor was reflective and the model was wearing a skirt… Hmmm.. Did anyone else try to look up her skirt?? The other thing was every time they did a stunt that went awry… Ricki Lake would yell out ‘Shoot”… it was done often enough to start a drinking game! Hopefully she won’t slip and yell out something else like her former CBS colleague, Channel 2 reporter Arthur Chi’en. He was on the air live one day getting heckled by some Opie and Anthony fans, and cursed at them not realizing he was on the air live. (He claimed he thought he was taping a report) This is not to be confused with the Channel 2 sports report some 10 years ago with Bernie Smilovitz where he played a tape of Bobby Knight cursing up a storm.. WITHOUT the curses bleeped out… After the tape was done.. You could see Bernie and anchor Dana Tyler looking like deer caught in the headlights with Bernie thinking he better call his agent to start sending some resumes back to his hometown of Detroit, and Dana realizing that she would be one Roz Abrams contract signing from being relegated to weekend duty.
Chi’en by the way went to the NY Labor Board and filed a complaint and was actually awarded some money. And who ever heard of someone going to the Department of Labor and winning a case against an employer? Well your blog master just won a nice stack of shekels this past week after taking a former employer to Trenton. That same day in Trenton, a budget hearing with the Human Services Commissioner Kevin Ryan was interrupted when he got sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. His chief of staff told The Star Ledger she decided to send him to an out of town hospital because the CEO of that hospital is her former boss Former NJ Health Commissioner Dr. Clifton Lacy! Hey folks.. Lets impose the Ariel Sharon rule and go to the nearest hospital!!!!! Sharon had a stroke after passing the closest hospital to go to a second more distant facility! Ryan is ok by the way..
Speaking of former bosses, I was the last case to be heard.. In some cases the employer didn’t show up and the plaintiffs won by default… but in the cases where the employers showed up, those were won by the employers. Except mine.
I won’t bore you with the details… but after driving 2 hours in a rainstorm and realizing my former boss also had to shlep there from a farther distance.. I knew I could go home empty handed and still feel victorious. There were 2 parts to the case involving unpaid commissions.. I won the first one.. And in the 2nd one.. either the company didn’t have their facts straight.. or she lied under oath… But.. I got to cross examine my former boss… (How surreal! Isn‘t that the coolest thing?).. And I tried to do my best Felix Unger courtroom cross examination imitation. And even though I was not awarded money on the 2nd claim.. I still walked away feeling like a million bucks.
Speaking of Big Bucks…. If the upcoming 3 episodes are as exciting as Press Your Luck… the Game Show Marathon may become a regular television fixture. Next week is Card Sharks, followed by Match Game the following week.. And the final episode will be Family Feud. I get the feeling that some of these old favorites might be brought back at some point if GSM gets decent ratings.
I have always thought that reality shows were really fancy game shows. Originally reality shows were really documentaries.. But the producers decided to call them “reality shows” so the goofy kids watching would not think it was some kind of stuffy PBS documentary. Exhibit A would be “The Real World” on MTV, the original of the reality shows..
Along came Mark Burnett a few years ago and thought.. Hey lets make it a competition with a big money prize at the end of the reality rainbow. He created “Survivor” which took the real world to an exotic island and created a contest involving strategy and fitness both mentally and physically. After “Survivor”, almost all of the reality shows needed a finish line to have its participants thrive for. So with the exception of the freak show involving Paris Hilton, and Lionel Ritchie’s skeletal daughter… (Remember his 80s song to her….“Hello…. Is it food you’re looking for?”), most of the reality shows are now game shows.
Which brings us to GSM… The producers must have thought.. lets have a reality show where the contestants compete on a game show.. And now we have officially come full circle! I have reserved comment on it till now, since I was never really a big fan of the first 3 game shows that were featured in the competition, but now that we have seen Leslie Nielsen yelling out big bucks, no whammies on Press Your Luck and with old favorites Card Sharks, Family Feud, and Match Game looming in the coming weeks… I felt it was time to weigh in with my thoughts on this program.
The producers decided to remake CBS versions of some older classics… and rebuilt the sets and plunked today’s B-list stars right in the middle as if they traveled to the set in a Time Machine. . So far they have done 4 different games with one winner emerging from each game.. Those 4 semifinalists will advance to Card Sharks and Match Game.. And the champions will recruit their real families for Family Feud. I wonder how they will do the Feud… Richard Dawson did the ABC version, but the CBS version with a slightly different set and rules was the one hosted by Ray Combs.
The first episode featured “The Price is Right”.. The Bob Barker fans were not too thrilled to see Rikki Lake hosting it.. and I am not sure who drew the short straw to break the news to Bob that they would be doing his show without him. However, from a ratings standpoint, it was a good idea to do the show… since it is so incredibly popular.. It has run for more than 30 years on CBS Daytime and is the anchor of the consistently highly rated daytime lineup.
My idea that might have smoothed this over better.. Why not let Bob host TPIR and one or two of the other shows while rotating with Ricki Lake? They could have done Truth or Consequences with Barker.. Since that was the show he hosted for a ton of years before The Price is Right. Keep in mind that the GSM concept ran very successfully in England with 2 hosts named Ant and Dec. Ratings-wise, it made sense to premiere with TPIR… but I think that future editions of GSM should not include it as long as Bob Barker is around.. since it strikes me as being incredibly disrespectful having someone else hosting it while he is still alive and kicking.
The show really hit its stride with Thursday night’s episode of Press Your Luck. This was the type of show that employed strategy and had a sense of excitement. However I should point out that the celebrity contestants weren’t as familiar with the nuances of the game as regular contestants were back when the show originally ran. It also ranked 7th on my February 2006 list of the 14 Best Game Shows of All Time. Ricki did a decent job filling the late Peter Tomarken’s shoes and the episode was quite exciting, although it was not the smartest idea to kill the momentum by breaking for commercial with only 4 spins left in the game. The questions were also a bit too easy meaning there were more spins awarded to the players… (And why are they called spins since nothing is spun?) Nonetheless, it was very exciting and well done and might have been the high point for GSM since fans watching the later episodes of Match Game and Family Feud will inevitably start comparing Ricki to hosting legends Gene Rayburn and Richard Dawson.
As for the other two shows, I never really liked Lets Make a Deal.. And I only watched a few minutes of it on GSM. A lot of the bulletin boards say Deal or No Deal is really the new version of that show.. (although it does have elements of Press Your Luck since all the contestants do is Press Their Luck)… I am impressed that Howie Mandel always knows the names of the models. A recent gay contestant got so excited he would run up to each model after she opened his suitcase and give her a hug… This was on a day when they wore incredibly low cut dresses, and boobies were everywhere. How many heterosexual guys will go on next season acting gay just to get a nice little huggie with the hot models?
The other show was Beat the Clock.. That show originally aired way before my time… but I think GSM did a terrific job recreating it.. The showed clips from the 50s and then had the players re-create the very same stunts.
Two things stood out… the well polished floor was reflective and the model was wearing a skirt… Hmmm.. Did anyone else try to look up her skirt?? The other thing was every time they did a stunt that went awry… Ricki Lake would yell out ‘Shoot”… it was done often enough to start a drinking game! Hopefully she won’t slip and yell out something else like her former CBS colleague, Channel 2 reporter Arthur Chi’en. He was on the air live one day getting heckled by some Opie and Anthony fans, and cursed at them not realizing he was on the air live. (He claimed he thought he was taping a report) This is not to be confused with the Channel 2 sports report some 10 years ago with Bernie Smilovitz where he played a tape of Bobby Knight cursing up a storm.. WITHOUT the curses bleeped out… After the tape was done.. You could see Bernie and anchor Dana Tyler looking like deer caught in the headlights with Bernie thinking he better call his agent to start sending some resumes back to his hometown of Detroit, and Dana realizing that she would be one Roz Abrams contract signing from being relegated to weekend duty.
Chi’en by the way went to the NY Labor Board and filed a complaint and was actually awarded some money. And who ever heard of someone going to the Department of Labor and winning a case against an employer? Well your blog master just won a nice stack of shekels this past week after taking a former employer to Trenton. That same day in Trenton, a budget hearing with the Human Services Commissioner Kevin Ryan was interrupted when he got sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. His chief of staff told The Star Ledger she decided to send him to an out of town hospital because the CEO of that hospital is her former boss Former NJ Health Commissioner Dr. Clifton Lacy! Hey folks.. Lets impose the Ariel Sharon rule and go to the nearest hospital!!!!! Sharon had a stroke after passing the closest hospital to go to a second more distant facility! Ryan is ok by the way..
Speaking of former bosses, I was the last case to be heard.. In some cases the employer didn’t show up and the plaintiffs won by default… but in the cases where the employers showed up, those were won by the employers. Except mine.
I won’t bore you with the details… but after driving 2 hours in a rainstorm and realizing my former boss also had to shlep there from a farther distance.. I knew I could go home empty handed and still feel victorious. There were 2 parts to the case involving unpaid commissions.. I won the first one.. And in the 2nd one.. either the company didn’t have their facts straight.. or she lied under oath… But.. I got to cross examine my former boss… (How surreal! Isn‘t that the coolest thing?).. And I tried to do my best Felix Unger courtroom cross examination imitation. And even though I was not awarded money on the 2nd claim.. I still walked away feeling like a million bucks.
Speaking of Big Bucks…. If the upcoming 3 episodes are as exciting as Press Your Luck… the Game Show Marathon may become a regular television fixture. Next week is Card Sharks, followed by Match Game the following week.. And the final episode will be Family Feud. I get the feeling that some of these old favorites might be brought back at some point if GSM gets decent ratings.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Star Wars - Part 6 of 6 (Yippee!!)
Well for the first time since the 1st of the Star Wars movies came way back on Memorial Day Weekend 1977. I am finally all caught up!
This past weekend I plopped down on the couch, put on my Yoda watch, and tossed in the Return of the Jedi DVD. After giving out 4 bladders to Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back and liking the 2nd and 3rd movies from the first part of the trilogy (but not the first) I was eager to see how this was all going to end... considering I had started watching these epics back in November when I started this blog, and had already written 5 columns about movies I had never cared to see in the pre-blog days.
Return of the Jedi was released Memorial Day Weekend 1983... after having been filmed in the Fall of 1982. Ah.. the fall of 1982... if only Coach had put me in... we woulda been State Champs!.... Oh excuse me.. I just mind melded with Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite!
Return of the Jedi picks up where the Empire Strikes Back left off. Our pals, Luke, Leia, Chewie, r2 and c3 launch a rescue mission to extricate Han Solo from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt. Jabba.. who very much resembles a blind date I was set up on back in my single days.. had frozen Han solid in some carbonite... and it is time for his friends to rescue him! Princess Leia sneaks in to his fort disguised as a bounty hunter, but after de-freezing Han.. gets captured herself.
Ol' Jabba had other ideas however.. instead of freezing her solid... he forces her to strip down to a skimpy bikini and chains her to him. Not only does the movie have a sado-masochistic sub-text, but George Lucas was keenly aware that the little sci-fi fans who padded his pockets with millions of dollars in 1977 were now a bit older in '83 and were very interested in seeing some skin in their flicks. And boy does George deliver! Once this movie came out…the teenage boys ripped down their posters of Farrah Fawcett Majors and Cheryl Tiegs, and gallons of drool came from their braces-filled mouths as they spent a good half hour watching Leia chained to Jabba.. Ultimately, she turns the tables on him and wraps the chains around HIS neck.... giving the young teenage sci-fi fans something to act out once they hit their 20s and started going to Hellfire and other S and M clubs...
Incidentally, with all of these battles going on... none of the media in the Star Wars era felt it necessary to embed reporters on the warfront. Of course not.. it would have been too dangerous with asteroids zipping by, or armed clones shooting at you from every direction! Yet as I watched this on Memorial Day weekend, there was never ending coverage about the injuries sustained by Kimberly Dozier, and the deaths of her cameraman and soundman... and it makes you wonder why they just don't learn that we don’t need to embed the journalists on the warfront! Helloooo its too freakin dangerous out there! Didn’t they learn their lesson from Bob Woodruff? Four months after his injury, he is virtually out of the picture at ABC News as he recovers from injuries that are so severe he isn’t even well enough to record a podcast from his house!
Anyway... the theme of the final movie in this 6-pack is taking care of the the last piece of unfinished business.. Can the Emperor Palpatine convince Luke to join the Dark Side? Or will Luke resist the temptation and remain a Jedi? Ian McDiarmid’s acting in this movie is not quite as good as Star Wars III where he stole the movie in a remarkable performance. Keep in mind in Star Wars III,, he was playing the same character even though he was more than 20 years older but he was playing the same person… 20+ years younger!
Luke is the lone Jedi capable of toppling the evil empire. He lovingly refers to Darth as "Father" and flashes him those innocent little sweet puppy dog eyes as if he just spilled fruit punch on a white tablecloth and doesn’t want to get yelled at. Does he treat his father lovingly for any other reason besides the fact that playing nice with Darth will help bring down the Dark Side? Who would be nice to a father who tried to kill him? Would Joel Steinberg's adopted son who he beat so mercilessly be nice to him if he happened to run into him on the street? I would hope the son carries mace and a baseball bat just in case he happens to run into Steinberg so he can give Joel the can of whoop-ass he has had coming to him since the late 1980s.
But the battle for Luke to put aside his animosity towards Darth while being egged on by The Emperor becomes the focal point of this movie. The Emperor stands on the sidelines rooting on the Darth-Luke battle reminded me of Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mean Gene Okerlund egging on wrestling adversaries in the early 80s.
The film is filled with one adventure after another leading up to the ultimate battle. After the daring rescue and escape from Jabba the Hutt… our heroes continue on to meet up with the cute little Ewoks. The Ewoks communicate with each other by blowing shofars! I was half expecting them to deliver a Yom Kippur appeal and sell me some Israel bonds! While the gang lands at Ewok-land… Luke gets sidetracked bidding farewell to Yoda.. one of two major characters whose death totally surprised me… (The other was Darth Vader… I had no idea!!)
After the demise of Yoda.. Luke meets up with his pals at Endor… where at one point, Han professes his love to Leia.. who sharply replies “I Know”… exactly as Solo said to her when she told him she loved him in The Empire Strikes Back…
Simultaneously. an incredible Space attack gets underway.. Led by Lando Calrissian and some characters that look like goldfish. The pilots are divided up into teams based on color.. I wonder if they argued about their colors like the characters did in Reservoir Dogs. Its time once again for another 24esque 3 wars at once… this time a ground war with the Ewoks using their primitive weapons, a much more advanced brilliantly shot space war, and the war to end all wars.. The battle to convert Luke to move to the Dark Side… which ultimately will mean the end of either The Jedi or The Bad Guys!
By the way I noticed some Star Wars themes that were stolen by Lost… The scene where “The Others” appear from out of nowhere in the woods when Jack goes to confront them is right from Ewok-land,… the traps in the forest where they end up in a net in a tree.. And ultimately “the signal” our pals give each other when they look like they are in danger only to bail themselves out. Hmmm… didn’t Jack give Kate such a look in the season finale?
So what did I think?. Well I’m happy I’m done watching these movies!… I liked this film for the most part. But I didn’t like that they edited in Hayden Christensen in the finale where Luke sees the Ghosts of Jedi Past.… It immediately caught my attention, and I knew it had obviously been changed from the original…. (Hayden who has a fine planetarium was just a little pisher when this movie was made in the Fall of ‘82 while Uncle Rico was warming the bench). He just didn’t belong there.. and who got to break the news to Sebastian Shaw's family that he would NOT be in the DVD version.... That took as much guts as the CBS guy who had to tell Bob Barker that Rikki Lake would host The Price is Right for Game Show Marathon!
As usual the early 80s special effects were years ahead of its time.. And the musical score was outstanding. It was not quite as good as Star Wars 4 and 5….so therefore on a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom… Return of the Jedi gets 3 bladders.
So now that the Star Wars movies are finally done.. What is next? Well this summer we are moving on to our next anthology… another group of movies I have never seen….. The Godfather trilogy!! And if you have any suggestions for future anthologies for this blog, please leave them in the comments section.
This past weekend I plopped down on the couch, put on my Yoda watch, and tossed in the Return of the Jedi DVD. After giving out 4 bladders to Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back and liking the 2nd and 3rd movies from the first part of the trilogy (but not the first) I was eager to see how this was all going to end... considering I had started watching these epics back in November when I started this blog, and had already written 5 columns about movies I had never cared to see in the pre-blog days.
Return of the Jedi was released Memorial Day Weekend 1983... after having been filmed in the Fall of 1982. Ah.. the fall of 1982... if only Coach had put me in... we woulda been State Champs!.... Oh excuse me.. I just mind melded with Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite!
Return of the Jedi picks up where the Empire Strikes Back left off. Our pals, Luke, Leia, Chewie, r2 and c3 launch a rescue mission to extricate Han Solo from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt. Jabba.. who very much resembles a blind date I was set up on back in my single days.. had frozen Han solid in some carbonite... and it is time for his friends to rescue him! Princess Leia sneaks in to his fort disguised as a bounty hunter, but after de-freezing Han.. gets captured herself.
Ol' Jabba had other ideas however.. instead of freezing her solid... he forces her to strip down to a skimpy bikini and chains her to him. Not only does the movie have a sado-masochistic sub-text, but George Lucas was keenly aware that the little sci-fi fans who padded his pockets with millions of dollars in 1977 were now a bit older in '83 and were very interested in seeing some skin in their flicks. And boy does George deliver! Once this movie came out…the teenage boys ripped down their posters of Farrah Fawcett Majors and Cheryl Tiegs, and gallons of drool came from their braces-filled mouths as they spent a good half hour watching Leia chained to Jabba.. Ultimately, she turns the tables on him and wraps the chains around HIS neck.... giving the young teenage sci-fi fans something to act out once they hit their 20s and started going to Hellfire and other S and M clubs...
Incidentally, with all of these battles going on... none of the media in the Star Wars era felt it necessary to embed reporters on the warfront. Of course not.. it would have been too dangerous with asteroids zipping by, or armed clones shooting at you from every direction! Yet as I watched this on Memorial Day weekend, there was never ending coverage about the injuries sustained by Kimberly Dozier, and the deaths of her cameraman and soundman... and it makes you wonder why they just don't learn that we don’t need to embed the journalists on the warfront! Helloooo its too freakin dangerous out there! Didn’t they learn their lesson from Bob Woodruff? Four months after his injury, he is virtually out of the picture at ABC News as he recovers from injuries that are so severe he isn’t even well enough to record a podcast from his house!
Anyway... the theme of the final movie in this 6-pack is taking care of the the last piece of unfinished business.. Can the Emperor Palpatine convince Luke to join the Dark Side? Or will Luke resist the temptation and remain a Jedi? Ian McDiarmid’s acting in this movie is not quite as good as Star Wars III where he stole the movie in a remarkable performance. Keep in mind in Star Wars III,, he was playing the same character even though he was more than 20 years older but he was playing the same person… 20+ years younger!
Luke is the lone Jedi capable of toppling the evil empire. He lovingly refers to Darth as "Father" and flashes him those innocent little sweet puppy dog eyes as if he just spilled fruit punch on a white tablecloth and doesn’t want to get yelled at. Does he treat his father lovingly for any other reason besides the fact that playing nice with Darth will help bring down the Dark Side? Who would be nice to a father who tried to kill him? Would Joel Steinberg's adopted son who he beat so mercilessly be nice to him if he happened to run into him on the street? I would hope the son carries mace and a baseball bat just in case he happens to run into Steinberg so he can give Joel the can of whoop-ass he has had coming to him since the late 1980s.
But the battle for Luke to put aside his animosity towards Darth while being egged on by The Emperor becomes the focal point of this movie. The Emperor stands on the sidelines rooting on the Darth-Luke battle reminded me of Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mean Gene Okerlund egging on wrestling adversaries in the early 80s.
The film is filled with one adventure after another leading up to the ultimate battle. After the daring rescue and escape from Jabba the Hutt… our heroes continue on to meet up with the cute little Ewoks. The Ewoks communicate with each other by blowing shofars! I was half expecting them to deliver a Yom Kippur appeal and sell me some Israel bonds! While the gang lands at Ewok-land… Luke gets sidetracked bidding farewell to Yoda.. one of two major characters whose death totally surprised me… (The other was Darth Vader… I had no idea!!)
After the demise of Yoda.. Luke meets up with his pals at Endor… where at one point, Han professes his love to Leia.. who sharply replies “I Know”… exactly as Solo said to her when she told him she loved him in The Empire Strikes Back…
Simultaneously. an incredible Space attack gets underway.. Led by Lando Calrissian and some characters that look like goldfish. The pilots are divided up into teams based on color.. I wonder if they argued about their colors like the characters did in Reservoir Dogs. Its time once again for another 24esque 3 wars at once… this time a ground war with the Ewoks using their primitive weapons, a much more advanced brilliantly shot space war, and the war to end all wars.. The battle to convert Luke to move to the Dark Side… which ultimately will mean the end of either The Jedi or The Bad Guys!
By the way I noticed some Star Wars themes that were stolen by Lost… The scene where “The Others” appear from out of nowhere in the woods when Jack goes to confront them is right from Ewok-land,… the traps in the forest where they end up in a net in a tree.. And ultimately “the signal” our pals give each other when they look like they are in danger only to bail themselves out. Hmmm… didn’t Jack give Kate such a look in the season finale?
So what did I think?. Well I’m happy I’m done watching these movies!… I liked this film for the most part. But I didn’t like that they edited in Hayden Christensen in the finale where Luke sees the Ghosts of Jedi Past.… It immediately caught my attention, and I knew it had obviously been changed from the original…. (Hayden who has a fine planetarium was just a little pisher when this movie was made in the Fall of ‘82 while Uncle Rico was warming the bench). He just didn’t belong there.. and who got to break the news to Sebastian Shaw's family that he would NOT be in the DVD version.... That took as much guts as the CBS guy who had to tell Bob Barker that Rikki Lake would host The Price is Right for Game Show Marathon!
As usual the early 80s special effects were years ahead of its time.. And the musical score was outstanding. It was not quite as good as Star Wars 4 and 5….so therefore on a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom… Return of the Jedi gets 3 bladders.
So now that the Star Wars movies are finally done.. What is next? Well this summer we are moving on to our next anthology… another group of movies I have never seen….. The Godfather trilogy!! And if you have any suggestions for future anthologies for this blog, please leave them in the comments section.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Yet Another Wacky "Lost" Theory
Hello to the Lost fans who googled their way over here today!
Wow…what a week! 2 hour season finales for Desperate Housewives.. 24 and Lost.. All in four days! Boy are my eyes bleary! 24 did pay homage to Edgar in the final episode…(plus we found out that Chloe was once married to a young version of Richard Dawson?!), the finale was pretty good.. not as violent as usual… but quite dramatic nontheless especially when Jack Bauer kidnapped The President! Wow.. What guts!…
The DH finale was better than usual… although it borrowed a lot of storytelling styles from Lost by utilizing flashbacks to move the story along…. But Lost seems to be getting all the attention since nobody knows what the heck is going on.. It also makes you wonder about ABC’s tolerance towards some of its employees. Keep in mind that the two actresses who play Ana Lucia and Libby were pulled over for DWI a couple of months ago. After their trip to the pokey… their characters were killed off and the actresses found themselves on the unemployment line.
They are not the only 2 female ABC employees who have been “punished”. ABC News, just months after announcing with great fanfare that Elizabeth Vargas and Bob Woodruff would anchor an innovative newscast with live updates for different time zones along with a podcast… have given Liz the ol’ heave ho. Vargas is pregnant (her husband is Marc Cohn, the singer who did “Walking in Memphis”) and as she gets ready to depart for maternity leave… she was told NOT to come back to World News Tonight since Charles Gibson will take over as anchorman starting Monday. The recent selections of Morning News Stars Katie Couric and Gibson to anchor the 630 newscasts show us that the ratings war is on!
Woodruff is still not well enough to come back to anchor the news after he sustained head injuries in Iraq. And as far as ABC is concerned……how dare Vargas allow Cohn to slip one past the goalie and get pregnant while Woodruff is still out? This leaves the newscast anchorless! Oy the chutzpah.. Cohn couldn’t walk in Memphis to a Walgreen’s and obtain some jimmy hats? So… ABC bids her adieu as she leaves for maternity leave, and takes away her high profile anchor gig. She claims her dr. told her to “cut down her workload”….but it looks like ABC has set the women’s movement back many years with this “punishment”! Don’t you think she would still be anchoring if she hadn’t gotten pregnant? And by the way, what is the real story on Woodruff? His condition has been as guarded as Dick Clark’s was in 2005 after his stroke!
Now time for me to join the other bloggers and toss in my Lost theories...
I think the writers have been inspired by The Village, The Truman Show, Survivor, and Total Recall. In a nutshell, I think this island is an experiment to see how different types of people will get along living in a biosphere. This self contained environment occurred to me in the season finale when the Password was “What did one snowman say to the other? You smell like a carrot”. This tropical island might be within a cold weather atmosphere since not only do we have the snowman reference, but we also see that the island is being monitored by men in a very cold snowy atmosphere! By the way, the snowman joke was ok, but the funnier joke was told on the Sopranos Sunday where a guy carrying a duck comes home to his wife and says “This is the pig I’ve been screwing”.. The wife says “that’s a duck”. The husband says… “I wasn’t talking to you”
And there are two interesting Lost quotes worth examining further... (This sounds like an ArtScroll publication.. only my Jewish homies will get that reference!) Walt telling his dad “They’re pretending” and “Henry Gale” saying he is “one of the Good Guys“.. So thats what happened to the old WMCA djs!
I think there are 4 different groups involved here.. The surviving tailie(s) , the regular gang, The Others, and the dudes from Dharma..
THE LOSTIES - Participants in an experiment where they have had some false memories implanted into them and they don't remember their true identities. Hence these flashbacks are NOT the character’s past.. but are actually the implanted memories. This made up universe only goes so far,. which is why there is a lot of overlapping between different characters in the flashbacks… Plus implanted memories can explain why Locke was cured of his paralysis and Rosalind is healthy after being ill for so long prior to arriving at the island. It also explains Jin’s pregnancy after she “thought” they were unable to have babies.
THE DHARMA-ITES WHO RUN THE SHOW - we don’t see them… but this Penny woman might have some involvement.. They set up this whole wacky experiment to “monitor” its participants. But who is being tested? The castaways who punch a code into a computer every 108 minutes or the people who were supposed to monitor the button pushers and write their entries in notebooks that were then sent out in those bank drive-up tubes. The tubes all ended up in one gigantic pile in the middle of the island where they just sat uncollected.
THE OTHERS - or as Henry Gale calls ‘em the “Good Guys”… I have always thought that The Others are not really the bad guys but may be the original settlers on the Island who have been bumped over by the Dharma group and now they have some involvement in this grandiose project (sort of like the American Indians who run the casinos.. ok you took our land. but we will own the casinos).
THE TAILIES - Bernard, Ana Lucia (RIP), Libby/Elizabeth (RIP) and Eko (RIP??) - I think they are the really really bad guys….. death row inmates who are participating in this experiment and their implanted memories might be the opposite of who they really are. Libby instead of a shrink is a criminal who killed her husband and later was confined to a mental hospital.. That might be why she was so eager to give Desmond her late husband’s boat… Perhaps, Ana Lucia is a cop killer.. Eko is a priest killing drug kingpin, and Bernard was involved in a racist hate crime... yet now he thinks he is married to a black woman! Their seems to be an expendability to those tailies.. after all what kind of experiment would allow its participants to be shot dead? Incidentally, I still don’t believe the plane “crashed”… I think they think it crashed and keep in mind they have only shown the crash in flashbacks.. The very first scene in the first episode took place after "the crash" when Jack opened his eyes. After all what are the odds that Eko and his “brother” were both in plane crashes on the same island? What are the odds that 2 members of the Kennedy family would both be involved in bizarre late night car accidents?
DESMOND - This one is is a bit confusing though…Is he part of the experiment? Or was he really stranded there for 2 years? Or does he think he killed a guy after helping him press a button for 2 years?. I get the feeling he was not implanted with the memories, but he is confused with time and really has not been stranded there for that long. But if his memories are real…including his meeting the disguised Libby … What is his ex fiances involvement? Did she use her millions (as she said with money you can find anyone) to track down the Dharma Island since she is involved with the Arctic guys who are monitoring the island? Or is her dad one of the people running the whole shebang and he arranged to get the former prisoner on the island and she wants her man back no matter what Daddy says? Incidentally, when they showed the 2 guys calling her… it was the first time a scene took place outside the island that was NOT part of a flashback. And she has the same photo on her nightstand that Desmond has.. Maybe his memories are real! Or, maybe Patrick Duffy is in her shower?
THE WALT AND MICHAEL FAMILY - What experiment allows a minor to participate? And how did he end up on the island with the “losties” before the “Good Guys” rescued him? And is he really Michael’s son or is that too a false memory on Michael’s part? What does Walt know? Maybe his parents allowed him to participate only under certain conditions… which is why he gets voted off the island while everyone else has to stay.
Then there was the little comment by Walt... when he told Michael…”They aren’t who they say they are.. They‘re pretending”….. Maybe the young kid got a bit confused because the guy’s name isn’t Jack but it is actually Matthew Fox PRETENDING to be Jack. Ok.. That’s a joke… But seriously, I don’t think that was referring to The Others.. but instead to the fellow castaways… Perhaps, Walt saw some of them at some point as they prepared for the experiment and now Walt perceives them as pretending to be other people... That knowledge might be why The Others let him go.. especially after they asked Michael if Walt had been in places he shouldn’t have been. Unless of course he was caught peeping into some of the actress’s dressing room.
THE THREE WHO ARE NOW WITH THE OTHERS - I wonder what the common thread is… maybe the 3 are just a decoy and The Others true motivation was to get the kid off the island. If this was Survivor.. these are the 3 I want on my team… Are all 3 linked by not being who they think they are? Were they involved in some kind of criminal activity? Or right doing? I don’t know much about Sawyer (I didn’t watch much of the 1st season) but wasn't he part of a scam in his flashback?.. And maybe the bad mistakes by Jack’s dad were really made by Jack? Or perhaps the guy Kate was handcuffed to might have been a criminal she was bringing to justice and not vice versa? We already know that Desmond spent some time in jail, and that some other characters like Locke were accessories to other crimes. Could this be an experiment to see if criminals and good people can live together in a free society if their memories are somehow erased? Who the heck knows? Some bloggers on other sites have a theory that the 3 are like the characters in The Wizard of Oz.. (the scarecrow, tin man, and Lion) and each seeks brains, a heart and courage. Dorothy's last name is Gale (like Henry Gale), and Gale also traveled by hot air baloon just like Dorothy when she left Oz.
Well we won't find out anything more till the fall so I am now going to go enjoy my summer. The mp3 is loaded with my summer music and my pool opens this weekend! Have a Happy Memorial Day! Don’t drink and drive… your boss might be like ABC and fire you! For that matter…. You may want to abstain from unprotected sex too!
Wow…what a week! 2 hour season finales for Desperate Housewives.. 24 and Lost.. All in four days! Boy are my eyes bleary! 24 did pay homage to Edgar in the final episode…(plus we found out that Chloe was once married to a young version of Richard Dawson?!), the finale was pretty good.. not as violent as usual… but quite dramatic nontheless especially when Jack Bauer kidnapped The President! Wow.. What guts!…
The DH finale was better than usual… although it borrowed a lot of storytelling styles from Lost by utilizing flashbacks to move the story along…. But Lost seems to be getting all the attention since nobody knows what the heck is going on.. It also makes you wonder about ABC’s tolerance towards some of its employees. Keep in mind that the two actresses who play Ana Lucia and Libby were pulled over for DWI a couple of months ago. After their trip to the pokey… their characters were killed off and the actresses found themselves on the unemployment line.
They are not the only 2 female ABC employees who have been “punished”. ABC News, just months after announcing with great fanfare that Elizabeth Vargas and Bob Woodruff would anchor an innovative newscast with live updates for different time zones along with a podcast… have given Liz the ol’ heave ho. Vargas is pregnant (her husband is Marc Cohn, the singer who did “Walking in Memphis”) and as she gets ready to depart for maternity leave… she was told NOT to come back to World News Tonight since Charles Gibson will take over as anchorman starting Monday. The recent selections of Morning News Stars Katie Couric and Gibson to anchor the 630 newscasts show us that the ratings war is on!
Woodruff is still not well enough to come back to anchor the news after he sustained head injuries in Iraq. And as far as ABC is concerned……how dare Vargas allow Cohn to slip one past the goalie and get pregnant while Woodruff is still out? This leaves the newscast anchorless! Oy the chutzpah.. Cohn couldn’t walk in Memphis to a Walgreen’s and obtain some jimmy hats? So… ABC bids her adieu as she leaves for maternity leave, and takes away her high profile anchor gig. She claims her dr. told her to “cut down her workload”….but it looks like ABC has set the women’s movement back many years with this “punishment”! Don’t you think she would still be anchoring if she hadn’t gotten pregnant? And by the way, what is the real story on Woodruff? His condition has been as guarded as Dick Clark’s was in 2005 after his stroke!
Now time for me to join the other bloggers and toss in my Lost theories...
I think the writers have been inspired by The Village, The Truman Show, Survivor, and Total Recall. In a nutshell, I think this island is an experiment to see how different types of people will get along living in a biosphere. This self contained environment occurred to me in the season finale when the Password was “What did one snowman say to the other? You smell like a carrot”. This tropical island might be within a cold weather atmosphere since not only do we have the snowman reference, but we also see that the island is being monitored by men in a very cold snowy atmosphere! By the way, the snowman joke was ok, but the funnier joke was told on the Sopranos Sunday where a guy carrying a duck comes home to his wife and says “This is the pig I’ve been screwing”.. The wife says “that’s a duck”. The husband says… “I wasn’t talking to you”
And there are two interesting Lost quotes worth examining further... (This sounds like an ArtScroll publication.. only my Jewish homies will get that reference!) Walt telling his dad “They’re pretending” and “Henry Gale” saying he is “one of the Good Guys“.. So thats what happened to the old WMCA djs!
I think there are 4 different groups involved here.. The surviving tailie(s) , the regular gang, The Others, and the dudes from Dharma..
THE LOSTIES - Participants in an experiment where they have had some false memories implanted into them and they don't remember their true identities. Hence these flashbacks are NOT the character’s past.. but are actually the implanted memories. This made up universe only goes so far,. which is why there is a lot of overlapping between different characters in the flashbacks… Plus implanted memories can explain why Locke was cured of his paralysis and Rosalind is healthy after being ill for so long prior to arriving at the island. It also explains Jin’s pregnancy after she “thought” they were unable to have babies.
THE DHARMA-ITES WHO RUN THE SHOW - we don’t see them… but this Penny woman might have some involvement.. They set up this whole wacky experiment to “monitor” its participants. But who is being tested? The castaways who punch a code into a computer every 108 minutes or the people who were supposed to monitor the button pushers and write their entries in notebooks that were then sent out in those bank drive-up tubes. The tubes all ended up in one gigantic pile in the middle of the island where they just sat uncollected.
THE OTHERS - or as Henry Gale calls ‘em the “Good Guys”… I have always thought that The Others are not really the bad guys but may be the original settlers on the Island who have been bumped over by the Dharma group and now they have some involvement in this grandiose project (sort of like the American Indians who run the casinos.. ok you took our land. but we will own the casinos).
THE TAILIES - Bernard, Ana Lucia (RIP), Libby/Elizabeth (RIP) and Eko (RIP??) - I think they are the really really bad guys….. death row inmates who are participating in this experiment and their implanted memories might be the opposite of who they really are. Libby instead of a shrink is a criminal who killed her husband and later was confined to a mental hospital.. That might be why she was so eager to give Desmond her late husband’s boat… Perhaps, Ana Lucia is a cop killer.. Eko is a priest killing drug kingpin, and Bernard was involved in a racist hate crime... yet now he thinks he is married to a black woman! Their seems to be an expendability to those tailies.. after all what kind of experiment would allow its participants to be shot dead? Incidentally, I still don’t believe the plane “crashed”… I think they think it crashed and keep in mind they have only shown the crash in flashbacks.. The very first scene in the first episode took place after "the crash" when Jack opened his eyes. After all what are the odds that Eko and his “brother” were both in plane crashes on the same island? What are the odds that 2 members of the Kennedy family would both be involved in bizarre late night car accidents?
DESMOND - This one is is a bit confusing though…Is he part of the experiment? Or was he really stranded there for 2 years? Or does he think he killed a guy after helping him press a button for 2 years?. I get the feeling he was not implanted with the memories, but he is confused with time and really has not been stranded there for that long. But if his memories are real…including his meeting the disguised Libby … What is his ex fiances involvement? Did she use her millions (as she said with money you can find anyone) to track down the Dharma Island since she is involved with the Arctic guys who are monitoring the island? Or is her dad one of the people running the whole shebang and he arranged to get the former prisoner on the island and she wants her man back no matter what Daddy says? Incidentally, when they showed the 2 guys calling her… it was the first time a scene took place outside the island that was NOT part of a flashback. And she has the same photo on her nightstand that Desmond has.. Maybe his memories are real! Or, maybe Patrick Duffy is in her shower?
THE WALT AND MICHAEL FAMILY - What experiment allows a minor to participate? And how did he end up on the island with the “losties” before the “Good Guys” rescued him? And is he really Michael’s son or is that too a false memory on Michael’s part? What does Walt know? Maybe his parents allowed him to participate only under certain conditions… which is why he gets voted off the island while everyone else has to stay.
Then there was the little comment by Walt... when he told Michael…”They aren’t who they say they are.. They‘re pretending”….. Maybe the young kid got a bit confused because the guy’s name isn’t Jack but it is actually Matthew Fox PRETENDING to be Jack. Ok.. That’s a joke… But seriously, I don’t think that was referring to The Others.. but instead to the fellow castaways… Perhaps, Walt saw some of them at some point as they prepared for the experiment and now Walt perceives them as pretending to be other people... That knowledge might be why The Others let him go.. especially after they asked Michael if Walt had been in places he shouldn’t have been. Unless of course he was caught peeping into some of the actress’s dressing room.
THE THREE WHO ARE NOW WITH THE OTHERS - I wonder what the common thread is… maybe the 3 are just a decoy and The Others true motivation was to get the kid off the island. If this was Survivor.. these are the 3 I want on my team… Are all 3 linked by not being who they think they are? Were they involved in some kind of criminal activity? Or right doing? I don’t know much about Sawyer (I didn’t watch much of the 1st season) but wasn't he part of a scam in his flashback?.. And maybe the bad mistakes by Jack’s dad were really made by Jack? Or perhaps the guy Kate was handcuffed to might have been a criminal she was bringing to justice and not vice versa? We already know that Desmond spent some time in jail, and that some other characters like Locke were accessories to other crimes. Could this be an experiment to see if criminals and good people can live together in a free society if their memories are somehow erased? Who the heck knows? Some bloggers on other sites have a theory that the 3 are like the characters in The Wizard of Oz.. (the scarecrow, tin man, and Lion) and each seeks brains, a heart and courage. Dorothy's last name is Gale (like Henry Gale), and Gale also traveled by hot air baloon just like Dorothy when she left Oz.
Well we won't find out anything more till the fall so I am now going to go enjoy my summer. The mp3 is loaded with my summer music and my pool opens this weekend! Have a Happy Memorial Day! Don’t drink and drive… your boss might be like ABC and fire you! For that matter…. You may want to abstain from unprotected sex too!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Rockies and Tigers and Reds Oh My!
Well folks, the 2006 baseball season has reached the one quarter mark.. so its time for the Nate’s World Blog to take a look back at the first quarter of the campaign. Memorial Day Weekend is fast approaching, and we just had the first weekend of interleague play. which means some teams are starting to show what they are made of.. There have been some pleasant surprises.. And we will see if we are still on track with our original pre-season predictions.. (see the columns from the end of March in the archives)
Interesting sports weekend we just had… The Mets were one Billy Wagner choke job from sweeping the Yankees.. Barry Bonds cracked his Ruth tying home run.. But most people were focused on the injuries suffered by the horsey Barabaro. Amazingly, there were vigils outside his hospital room as doctors tried desperately to save the Kentucky Derby winner. All the kings horses and all the kings men paced the hospital as doctors tried to put Barbaro back together again. And as the masses gathered outside in a vigil, some are hoping Barbaro might feel well enough to giddyap over to the next room to watch a boxing match with Hal Holbrook.
2006 has been pretty good for the Rockies, Tigers and Reds. All 3 teams have been pleasant surprises so far, and all three could possibly make the playoffs. Also, the Red Sox have done better than I thought.. (although the decision to trade Bronson Arroyo to the Reds was a big help to the Reds rise to the top..) and if the Blue Jays continue to show improvement, the Yankees with a decimated outfield and a washed up Randy Johnson just might miss the playoffs.
So what contributed to these three teams success this season? It seems like the Reds made a couple of sharp trades, while the Rockies and Tigers embraced a new philosophy about how they will run their ball clubs. The Reds acquired Arroyo and 2nd baseman Brandon Phillips and along with their young infielders Edwin Encarnacion and Felipe Lopez.. and slugger Adam Dunn they have gotten off to a surprisingly good start. The NL Central is quite the competitive division, and with a rotation led by Arroyo and young Aaron Harang.. The Reds have a chance to make some noise this season.. And if the Astros have indeed slipped a notch.. The Big Red Machine has a decent shot at contending for the Wild Card.
The Rockies finally decided to dump their veterans and take the young players route. Now they finally have a supporting cast for Todd Helton with the emergence of youngsters Matt Holliday, Brad Hawpe, and Garrett Atkins. The pitching has improved with young Jeff Francis anchoring a decent staff with Aaron Cook, Jason Jennings and Josh Fogg. They also have a nice bullpen with Jose Mesa pitching well as a setup man for Brian “Don’t call me Tito” Fuentes.. the first pitcher in franchise history worthy of being picked up by a Rotisserie team. This might be the Rockies year since no other team in the division has really stood out.. although the Padres have been able to put together a bit of a hot streak. Nonetheless, the Rocks are in first place at the quarter point.. And they looked damn good sweeping the Blue Jays over the weekend. Who knows? They might win that weak division.
The Tigers meanwhile were so awful a couple of years ago, they elicited comparisons to the 62 Mets. Jim Leyland took over as mgr this season, and now their rotation of Mike Maroth, Jeremy Bonderman and Nate Robertson seem to have matured, and having that nut-job cameraman-attacking Kenny Rogers’ veteran presence has helped turn this team into a force to be reckoned with in the AL Central. Magglio Ordonez seems to have woken up from a 2 year sabbatical and Chris Shelton has evolved into a valuable offensive presence in the Tigers line-up. They have done quite well.. but the Indians are starting to snap out of their slump, and who knows how far the Tigers can go having all those games against the Indians and The White Sox.
Looking back at the Top 14 teams of 2006 (see the columns from the end of March)... The only one of those teams that looks like it won’t contend in the NL are the Cubbies. The injury to Derrek Lee has been a season breaker.. Kerry Wood is back from the DL and Mark Prior should be back soon.. But it might be too little too late.. Although the young pitcher Sean Marshall appears to have good stuff. Marshall is the 2nd Cub to have a dad with the last name of Marshall. And who sports fans was the other one? The answer is Pete LaCock, the son of…. Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall! Can you imagine how much fun Paul Lynde would have had if Marshall had kept his given name Peter LaCock?
The other NL teams from that list seem to be doing ok.. The Mets are in first place.. Although the rotation needs some help… (Maybe the Kris Benson deal wasn’t such a great idea after all?)… Incidentally my fellow met fan homies Paul R and Nessim have been emailing me back and forth because I defended the Mets when they made the Kazmir for Zambrano deal in ‘04. Back then, I felt the Mets needed to make a move to compete for the wild card. They traded for Benson and Zambrano yet missed the playoffs.. And keep in mind, Zambrano entered the ‘05 season with a career record of 10 games over .500. Not bad for a pitcher who had been on a crummy team. Obviously 2 seasons later.. The D-Rays got the better end of the deal… Ok fellow Met fans... Lets pout for a few minutes and then we will get over it and move on…. By the way the Mets have 2 openings in the rotation… could there be another Kazmir type deal coming involving one of the young studs on the farm?
Speaking of studs on the farm.. I just called the Barbaro hotline… he is still recuperating! Back to the NL East..
The Phillies have rebounded from a slow start.. And the Braves are having their usual warm weather surge. The Cardinals are in great shape as Albert Pujols is cruising towards another MVP, and possibly dethroning the much hated Barry Bonds’ single season Home Run record. The Astros are a bit streaky.. By the way they have a pitcher named Wandy Rodriguez who has a groin pull… and his protective cup affects his ability to move around. Therefore, he doesn’t wear one when he pitches.. Which means he is one comebacker away from a lengthy trip to the DL and getting the new nickname “Squeaky”.
In the AL.. I think the Yankees may miss the playoffs.. The Red Sox look a lot better than I predicted, and if the Blue Jays can get the injured Gustavo Chacin, and AJ Burnett back to the rotation soon.. our neighbors to the north might move into one of the Top 2 spots in the Amercan League East. The Central Teams are also following form.. The White Sox haven’t lost a step and now they get Jose Contreras back from the DL, and the Indians seem to have righted the ship after a shaky start.
The one AL surprise? The LA Angels.. 10 games under .500 after the weekend sweep at the hands of the cross town rival Dodgers. The division is weak. And the Halos still have a shot.. But they better not fall too much farther off the pace. I’m sure the Angels fans are thrilled with the World Baseball Classic, since their ace, the 2005 AL Cy Young Award winner Bartolo Colon seems to have gotten injured while pitching in that kooky tournament. And as we head to Memorial Day weekend.. He has yet to win a game!
By the way speaking of the Dodgers…. for those who get the baseball package isn’t it amazing that Vin Scully announces the games all by himself without a color commentator? He is just an incredible living legend! He is also piped into the clean! men’s room at Dodger Stadium as I found out during one memorable Dodger game after I ate something there that upset my tummy!
Click here to hear my favorite inning of Scully's network career!
Here is a pic of me at that Dodger game from the early 1990s… while Darryl Strawberry was batting...
Incidentally, I don’t get the baseball package... Just the free games. I watch enough TV as it is. Especially this week with the 2 hour finales of Desperate Housewives, 24, and Lost! Thanks to DH, I learned that Paul Revere was never President and high school kids stretch out their hoochy mcscoochy sessions by distracting themselves by naming all the Presidents. Hmmm.. Bush.. Clinton… Bush…. Not too distracting..
By the way, later this week I will comment on the Lost season finale chock full of my opinion on what is really going on there.. And then next week to commemorate the 29 year anniversary of the Star Wars release.. I will have my comments on Return of the Jedi!
Interesting sports weekend we just had… The Mets were one Billy Wagner choke job from sweeping the Yankees.. Barry Bonds cracked his Ruth tying home run.. But most people were focused on the injuries suffered by the horsey Barabaro. Amazingly, there were vigils outside his hospital room as doctors tried desperately to save the Kentucky Derby winner. All the kings horses and all the kings men paced the hospital as doctors tried to put Barbaro back together again. And as the masses gathered outside in a vigil, some are hoping Barbaro might feel well enough to giddyap over to the next room to watch a boxing match with Hal Holbrook.
2006 has been pretty good for the Rockies, Tigers and Reds. All 3 teams have been pleasant surprises so far, and all three could possibly make the playoffs. Also, the Red Sox have done better than I thought.. (although the decision to trade Bronson Arroyo to the Reds was a big help to the Reds rise to the top..) and if the Blue Jays continue to show improvement, the Yankees with a decimated outfield and a washed up Randy Johnson just might miss the playoffs.
So what contributed to these three teams success this season? It seems like the Reds made a couple of sharp trades, while the Rockies and Tigers embraced a new philosophy about how they will run their ball clubs. The Reds acquired Arroyo and 2nd baseman Brandon Phillips and along with their young infielders Edwin Encarnacion and Felipe Lopez.. and slugger Adam Dunn they have gotten off to a surprisingly good start. The NL Central is quite the competitive division, and with a rotation led by Arroyo and young Aaron Harang.. The Reds have a chance to make some noise this season.. And if the Astros have indeed slipped a notch.. The Big Red Machine has a decent shot at contending for the Wild Card.
The Rockies finally decided to dump their veterans and take the young players route. Now they finally have a supporting cast for Todd Helton with the emergence of youngsters Matt Holliday, Brad Hawpe, and Garrett Atkins. The pitching has improved with young Jeff Francis anchoring a decent staff with Aaron Cook, Jason Jennings and Josh Fogg. They also have a nice bullpen with Jose Mesa pitching well as a setup man for Brian “Don’t call me Tito” Fuentes.. the first pitcher in franchise history worthy of being picked up by a Rotisserie team. This might be the Rockies year since no other team in the division has really stood out.. although the Padres have been able to put together a bit of a hot streak. Nonetheless, the Rocks are in first place at the quarter point.. And they looked damn good sweeping the Blue Jays over the weekend. Who knows? They might win that weak division.
The Tigers meanwhile were so awful a couple of years ago, they elicited comparisons to the 62 Mets. Jim Leyland took over as mgr this season, and now their rotation of Mike Maroth, Jeremy Bonderman and Nate Robertson seem to have matured, and having that nut-job cameraman-attacking Kenny Rogers’ veteran presence has helped turn this team into a force to be reckoned with in the AL Central. Magglio Ordonez seems to have woken up from a 2 year sabbatical and Chris Shelton has evolved into a valuable offensive presence in the Tigers line-up. They have done quite well.. but the Indians are starting to snap out of their slump, and who knows how far the Tigers can go having all those games against the Indians and The White Sox.
Looking back at the Top 14 teams of 2006 (see the columns from the end of March)... The only one of those teams that looks like it won’t contend in the NL are the Cubbies. The injury to Derrek Lee has been a season breaker.. Kerry Wood is back from the DL and Mark Prior should be back soon.. But it might be too little too late.. Although the young pitcher Sean Marshall appears to have good stuff. Marshall is the 2nd Cub to have a dad with the last name of Marshall. And who sports fans was the other one? The answer is Pete LaCock, the son of…. Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall! Can you imagine how much fun Paul Lynde would have had if Marshall had kept his given name Peter LaCock?
The other NL teams from that list seem to be doing ok.. The Mets are in first place.. Although the rotation needs some help… (Maybe the Kris Benson deal wasn’t such a great idea after all?)… Incidentally my fellow met fan homies Paul R and Nessim have been emailing me back and forth because I defended the Mets when they made the Kazmir for Zambrano deal in ‘04. Back then, I felt the Mets needed to make a move to compete for the wild card. They traded for Benson and Zambrano yet missed the playoffs.. And keep in mind, Zambrano entered the ‘05 season with a career record of 10 games over .500. Not bad for a pitcher who had been on a crummy team. Obviously 2 seasons later.. The D-Rays got the better end of the deal… Ok fellow Met fans... Lets pout for a few minutes and then we will get over it and move on…. By the way the Mets have 2 openings in the rotation… could there be another Kazmir type deal coming involving one of the young studs on the farm?
Speaking of studs on the farm.. I just called the Barbaro hotline… he is still recuperating! Back to the NL East..
The Phillies have rebounded from a slow start.. And the Braves are having their usual warm weather surge. The Cardinals are in great shape as Albert Pujols is cruising towards another MVP, and possibly dethroning the much hated Barry Bonds’ single season Home Run record. The Astros are a bit streaky.. By the way they have a pitcher named Wandy Rodriguez who has a groin pull… and his protective cup affects his ability to move around. Therefore, he doesn’t wear one when he pitches.. Which means he is one comebacker away from a lengthy trip to the DL and getting the new nickname “Squeaky”.
In the AL.. I think the Yankees may miss the playoffs.. The Red Sox look a lot better than I predicted, and if the Blue Jays can get the injured Gustavo Chacin, and AJ Burnett back to the rotation soon.. our neighbors to the north might move into one of the Top 2 spots in the Amercan League East. The Central Teams are also following form.. The White Sox haven’t lost a step and now they get Jose Contreras back from the DL, and the Indians seem to have righted the ship after a shaky start.
The one AL surprise? The LA Angels.. 10 games under .500 after the weekend sweep at the hands of the cross town rival Dodgers. The division is weak. And the Halos still have a shot.. But they better not fall too much farther off the pace. I’m sure the Angels fans are thrilled with the World Baseball Classic, since their ace, the 2005 AL Cy Young Award winner Bartolo Colon seems to have gotten injured while pitching in that kooky tournament. And as we head to Memorial Day weekend.. He has yet to win a game!
By the way speaking of the Dodgers…. for those who get the baseball package isn’t it amazing that Vin Scully announces the games all by himself without a color commentator? He is just an incredible living legend! He is also piped into the clean! men’s room at Dodger Stadium as I found out during one memorable Dodger game after I ate something there that upset my tummy!
Click here to hear my favorite inning of Scully's network career!
Here is a pic of me at that Dodger game from the early 1990s… while Darryl Strawberry was batting...
Incidentally, I don’t get the baseball package... Just the free games. I watch enough TV as it is. Especially this week with the 2 hour finales of Desperate Housewives, 24, and Lost! Thanks to DH, I learned that Paul Revere was never President and high school kids stretch out their hoochy mcscoochy sessions by distracting themselves by naming all the Presidents. Hmmm.. Bush.. Clinton… Bush…. Not too distracting..
By the way, later this week I will comment on the Lost season finale chock full of my opinion on what is really going on there.. And then next week to commemorate the 29 year anniversary of the Star Wars release.. I will have my comments on Return of the Jedi!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Top 14 Talk Show Hosts Part II
Today as we present part II of our list of the Top 14 Talk Show Hosts.. it occurs to me that ABC is becoming a very relevant network even though Desperate Housewives has lost a bit off its fastball. Lost and Grey’s Anatomy are getting a lot of water cooler attention… and Monday night I even watched the GA season finale and taped 24!
Who is kookier? The women on GA or the looney tune Karen Golding who was arrested for stalking Union County Democrat big shot John Cryan? Golding says she had dated him for 2 years.. He admits to no physical relationship, yet compares her to the psycho in “Fatal Attraction” Golding got caught red handed entering Cryan’s unlocked car.. and the story made career ruining headlines when Golding called her pal Governor Corzine to post her 5000 dollar bail. To the multi-bazillionaire Corzine… it was a mere bag of shells. But that got Golding in the paper, and a lot of attention. The day after her arrest, her office was raided and computers were confiscated.. and as a result, she lost her job.
And what was she doing in Cryan’s car?? Before you think of something lascivious … Sunday’s Star Ledger reports that the police said she wrote Cryan a letter asking if he needed support since that day happened to be the one year anniversary of his father’s death. Hmmmm… maybe she’s kooky.. but at least she‘s thoughtful. By the way, investigators anonymously told the Ledger that the confiscated computer revealed some sexually charged emails going back and forth between the 2... Yet Cryan says… the 2 were never involved. Hmmmmm
But how does she rank among the Grey’s Anatomy mashuganas? Izzie’s infatuation with her patient and her boneheaded heart stopping idea to stop his heart so he would move to the top spot on the Casey's Top 40 Heart transplant list instead of another patient on Sunday’s Grey’s Anatomy… now that’s a true nut job! All the single women on that show are crazy! And you can throw Dr. McDreamy in with the rest of ‘em for his decision to reconnect with Meredith instead of his much hotter, more mentally stable wife! But after the whole Izzy- Denny storyline reached its stunning climax.. I half expected the cast of South Park to jump out and yell… “Oh my God! They Killed Denny!”
Now back to the list… picking it up at #7!
7. Mike Douglas - Whaddya think, I used to turn off the TV after Match Game in the afternoons as a kid? Heck no.. it was the Dinah Shore Mike Douglas doubleheader in the days before Channel 2 had 5pm newscasts. Mike cracks the list as a nice guy host who knew how to put on an entertaining show every afternoon… with a different co-host every week!
6. Merv Griffin - Not only a great talk show host.. But a great success in many other ways too! He’s actually one of my heroes. Lets see… he created Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.. And of course Dance Fever.. where Wayne Gretzky met his gambling ring leader wife.. So if it wasn’t for Merv… Gretzky’s name wouldn’t have been dragged through the mud! Merv’s show was great… every night on Channel 5 and he had all the great stars too! And all he had to do was sit there and say Oooooooo! He is also an incredible businessman selling one of his casinos to Donald Trump for a huge profit! Way to go Merv! He just released a dvd with clips from his show.. And he looks exactly the same as he did when I was a kid. He just appeared Thursday Night as a guest on #3‘s show!
5. Oprah - Have you noticed people don’t name their children after her? Oprah is Oprah.. She gets the big stars.. She lets that no talent buffoon Tom Cruise play on her couch.. (Did you see Tuesday’s Law and Order SVU.. They really showed what a true moron Cruise has turned into!) Oprah even handles the regular every day topics including a gastroentologist who did a fascinating show last year about a topic that apparently isn’t a regular every day occurrence for some.. I feel bad for those people… Is there anywhere else to read the comics each morning? And what’s the deal with the character in For Better or For Worse who cheated on her husband? These are the freaking comics! I don’t want to see infidelity there! Even Andy Capp’s wife stays loyal.. Although I’m sure Mr. Wilson has some serious fantasies about Dennis the Menace‘s mom! Oprah has been the Queen of Daytime for close to 20 years now.. But what is the deal with this Steadman fella?
4. Donahue - His innovative show handed Oprah her career and her billions… and was the king of his format until The Protege unseated The Mentor. Since he paved the way.. He ranks higher than Ms. Winfrey… He could talk about any variety of topics.. And he kept a stranglehold on the format till Oprah came along. He even survived a bizarre live show where audience members as a hoax fainted on live TV.. Nonetheless, Phil held his own as the audience members kept dropping like zombies, He made a comeback in 2002 on MSNBC, but the show didn’t last long. It also premiered the same day I started dating Trophy Wife! Check out this clip from a Donahue episode from the early 90s.. Look at the guy sitting in the audience with the tie. Hmmm.. He looks very very familiar.. Click play to see the clip!
3. Larry King - He is the linchpin to CNN’s prime time lineup. Some feel he has slipped a bit.. And sometimes he is not as sharp as usual.. But his show is THE best show on CNN and he is THE best host on any of the all news networks.. (With Wolf Blitzer a close 2nd). There is always something interesting going on with Larry… and he doesn’t allow himself to get overly swept up by these crazy Holloway and Duke Lacrosse topics like some of the other hosts do. His exclusives are pretty good.. Especially recent episodes involving Tammy Faye Bakker and Deep Throat Mark Felt… He just had David Blaine last Wed. night even though I still don’t know why he is popular. Trophy Wife called a pal during 24 last week and the friend couldn’t talk because she was watching …. David Blaine! Huh? Anyway, Larry is THE Man.
2. Letterman - While we are in legends territory.. He is my generation’s Johnny… even though he will never quite achieve what Johnny had. He has been on in Late Night for 24 years now.. And even though I don’t watch him as much as I used to… every time I see him.. I see a host who gives 100% and doesn’t sell out his sharp wit to get ratings. Its his show.. His shtick.. His pencil through the window.. And that’s the way it is. (Why does that woman always call him Mr. Carney?) Even though he was bitterly disappointed that he was stabbed in the back by Leno for the Tonight Show.. he has turned Late Night on CBS from a dead zone of boring crime shows into a major money maker. He also revitalized the whole block in NYC where the Ed Sullivan Theater is located.. Even though the growing popularity of the area made rent too costly for Sirajul and Mujibur! Truly a legend….. But always will be #2.
1. Johnny - He was the best.. Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, and Wayne Gretzky all rolled into one! Johnny dominated the talk show field for all the years he was on. I don’t know why he got so upset that Joan Rivers got her own show.. But the intensely private Johnny kept most of his thoughts and opinions to himself. But for the time he held court on The Tonight Show… he was the King of Late Night television, and I don’t see how anybody will ever dethrone him from his mantle….
And there you have it.. My Top 14. Check out the article from MSN. They listed the top 12.. But unlike them, we did not include Arsenio and Larry Sanders.. Incidentally The Larry Sanders Show gave 24’s Chloe her first big break! Would Sanders interview David Blaine? Don’t hold your breath!
Who is kookier? The women on GA or the looney tune Karen Golding who was arrested for stalking Union County Democrat big shot John Cryan? Golding says she had dated him for 2 years.. He admits to no physical relationship, yet compares her to the psycho in “Fatal Attraction” Golding got caught red handed entering Cryan’s unlocked car.. and the story made career ruining headlines when Golding called her pal Governor Corzine to post her 5000 dollar bail. To the multi-bazillionaire Corzine… it was a mere bag of shells. But that got Golding in the paper, and a lot of attention. The day after her arrest, her office was raided and computers were confiscated.. and as a result, she lost her job.
And what was she doing in Cryan’s car?? Before you think of something lascivious … Sunday’s Star Ledger reports that the police said she wrote Cryan a letter asking if he needed support since that day happened to be the one year anniversary of his father’s death. Hmmmm… maybe she’s kooky.. but at least she‘s thoughtful. By the way, investigators anonymously told the Ledger that the confiscated computer revealed some sexually charged emails going back and forth between the 2... Yet Cryan says… the 2 were never involved. Hmmmmm
But how does she rank among the Grey’s Anatomy mashuganas? Izzie’s infatuation with her patient and her boneheaded heart stopping idea to stop his heart so he would move to the top spot on the Casey's Top 40 Heart transplant list instead of another patient on Sunday’s Grey’s Anatomy… now that’s a true nut job! All the single women on that show are crazy! And you can throw Dr. McDreamy in with the rest of ‘em for his decision to reconnect with Meredith instead of his much hotter, more mentally stable wife! But after the whole Izzy- Denny storyline reached its stunning climax.. I half expected the cast of South Park to jump out and yell… “Oh my God! They Killed Denny!”
Now back to the list… picking it up at #7!
7. Mike Douglas - Whaddya think, I used to turn off the TV after Match Game in the afternoons as a kid? Heck no.. it was the Dinah Shore Mike Douglas doubleheader in the days before Channel 2 had 5pm newscasts. Mike cracks the list as a nice guy host who knew how to put on an entertaining show every afternoon… with a different co-host every week!
6. Merv Griffin - Not only a great talk show host.. But a great success in many other ways too! He’s actually one of my heroes. Lets see… he created Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.. And of course Dance Fever.. where Wayne Gretzky met his gambling ring leader wife.. So if it wasn’t for Merv… Gretzky’s name wouldn’t have been dragged through the mud! Merv’s show was great… every night on Channel 5 and he had all the great stars too! And all he had to do was sit there and say Oooooooo! He is also an incredible businessman selling one of his casinos to Donald Trump for a huge profit! Way to go Merv! He just released a dvd with clips from his show.. And he looks exactly the same as he did when I was a kid. He just appeared Thursday Night as a guest on #3‘s show!
5. Oprah - Have you noticed people don’t name their children after her? Oprah is Oprah.. She gets the big stars.. She lets that no talent buffoon Tom Cruise play on her couch.. (Did you see Tuesday’s Law and Order SVU.. They really showed what a true moron Cruise has turned into!) Oprah even handles the regular every day topics including a gastroentologist who did a fascinating show last year about a topic that apparently isn’t a regular every day occurrence for some.. I feel bad for those people… Is there anywhere else to read the comics each morning? And what’s the deal with the character in For Better or For Worse who cheated on her husband? These are the freaking comics! I don’t want to see infidelity there! Even Andy Capp’s wife stays loyal.. Although I’m sure Mr. Wilson has some serious fantasies about Dennis the Menace‘s mom! Oprah has been the Queen of Daytime for close to 20 years now.. But what is the deal with this Steadman fella?
4. Donahue - His innovative show handed Oprah her career and her billions… and was the king of his format until The Protege unseated The Mentor. Since he paved the way.. He ranks higher than Ms. Winfrey… He could talk about any variety of topics.. And he kept a stranglehold on the format till Oprah came along. He even survived a bizarre live show where audience members as a hoax fainted on live TV.. Nonetheless, Phil held his own as the audience members kept dropping like zombies, He made a comeback in 2002 on MSNBC, but the show didn’t last long. It also premiered the same day I started dating Trophy Wife! Check out this clip from a Donahue episode from the early 90s.. Look at the guy sitting in the audience with the tie. Hmmm.. He looks very very familiar.. Click play to see the clip!
3. Larry King - He is the linchpin to CNN’s prime time lineup. Some feel he has slipped a bit.. And sometimes he is not as sharp as usual.. But his show is THE best show on CNN and he is THE best host on any of the all news networks.. (With Wolf Blitzer a close 2nd). There is always something interesting going on with Larry… and he doesn’t allow himself to get overly swept up by these crazy Holloway and Duke Lacrosse topics like some of the other hosts do. His exclusives are pretty good.. Especially recent episodes involving Tammy Faye Bakker and Deep Throat Mark Felt… He just had David Blaine last Wed. night even though I still don’t know why he is popular. Trophy Wife called a pal during 24 last week and the friend couldn’t talk because she was watching …. David Blaine! Huh? Anyway, Larry is THE Man.
2. Letterman - While we are in legends territory.. He is my generation’s Johnny… even though he will never quite achieve what Johnny had. He has been on in Late Night for 24 years now.. And even though I don’t watch him as much as I used to… every time I see him.. I see a host who gives 100% and doesn’t sell out his sharp wit to get ratings. Its his show.. His shtick.. His pencil through the window.. And that’s the way it is. (Why does that woman always call him Mr. Carney?) Even though he was bitterly disappointed that he was stabbed in the back by Leno for the Tonight Show.. he has turned Late Night on CBS from a dead zone of boring crime shows into a major money maker. He also revitalized the whole block in NYC where the Ed Sullivan Theater is located.. Even though the growing popularity of the area made rent too costly for Sirajul and Mujibur! Truly a legend….. But always will be #2.
1. Johnny - He was the best.. Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, and Wayne Gretzky all rolled into one! Johnny dominated the talk show field for all the years he was on. I don’t know why he got so upset that Joan Rivers got her own show.. But the intensely private Johnny kept most of his thoughts and opinions to himself. But for the time he held court on The Tonight Show… he was the King of Late Night television, and I don’t see how anybody will ever dethrone him from his mantle….
And there you have it.. My Top 14. Check out the article from MSN. They listed the top 12.. But unlike them, we did not include Arsenio and Larry Sanders.. Incidentally The Larry Sanders Show gave 24’s Chloe her first big break! Would Sanders interview David Blaine? Don’t hold your breath!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Top 14 Talk Show Hosts Part I
I recently got an email from blogging legend and former radio co-worker Dangerspouse with the subject line…. “Who Are These People?” Without even opening the email, I knew that "these people" were going to be relating to pop culture or sports! I've known the Danger-man for many many moons… and when it comes to TV and movies and sports and all the other stuff that fill this blog.. he lives happily out of the loop. The article from MSN was a list of the the best talk shows hosts… and that is the topic of today’s column.
The night Johnny Carson hosted his final show.. I had a little party and we all watched as the King of Talk Shows bid adieu after a remarkable run as The King of Late Night. He said he would be back in some form down the road.. but that that was the last we saw of Mr. Carson.. (aside from a few cameos with Letterman…) During that party while we all crowded around the TV, Dangerspouse sat in the dining room, and happily read a book!
I must admit that I don’t watch talk shows as much as I used to. I seem to be more hip to how staged and scripted the guests have become .. Plus with all the cable channels and now the NHL Playoffs.. who has time? Oh wait a minute.. I can't see the hockey playoffs because I don’t get the OLN channel!! And the new set-up only gives local channels the rights to 2 games in the 2nd round.. and no games in the subsequent rounds. What a truly dopey move for the post lockout NHL to hook up with a cable channel that nobody gets!
Back in the old days.. I used to love talk shows and tried to catch as much Johnny, Merv, Mike, and Letterman as humanly possible. I liked seeing the actors being themselves which is why as a young kid I used to watch all the celebrity game shows like Match Game, Hollywood Squares, Tattletales and Celebrity Sweepstakes.
Their article has some oddball rankings.. So without further ado - here is my list of the top 14 Talk Show hosts!
THE WILD CARDS.. I'm too young to rank them but they deserve mentioning.. .. Pre-Johnny Tonight show hosts Steve Allen and Jack Paar. Both were on before my time so I never got to see them hold down the fort on The Tonight Show. I have seen Steve Allen on a number of shows, and he is credited with many of the man on the street bits that Jay Leno has blatantly stolen! However, I am not familiar with Paar’s work.. so just to be fair I will give them a wild card pick to be inserted wherever you feel is a fair spot.
NOT RANKED - BUT NOTEWORTHY - Talk shows that used to be on Channel 9! When I was a kid, Channels 5, 9, and 11 used to air all the syndicated reruns. But… 5 and 11 got the good shows.. And the lousy ones went to 9. Likewise, Channel 9 had a run of talk shows that could not ever run anywhere else. One was Kiner’s Korner, the Mets post game show with announcer Ralph Kiner… Then there was the all time classic Joe Franklin Show… a late night party with the oddest assortment of guests. When Joe ran out of questions, he had one guest question the other one.. A typical exchange went like this…
“Hello my friends, this is The Joe Franklin Show sponsored by Streit’s Matzo… Morris Katz, the worlds fastest painter is here, along with blind singer Tom Sullivan… Tom.. Maybe you have a question to ask Morris about his painting…" Morris would then proceed to paint a tree in 60 seconds while babbling about how happy he was to be on The Joe Franklin Show, his childhood in Warsaw, and a Polish weather forecast.
Later in the 80s, They also had the Morton Downey Show and of course the Richard Bey Show, the precursor to today’s fine shows hosted by Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. By the way, with all these paternity tests his guests take, and the recent tabloid allegations,... some of his producers may be guests giving him a paternity tests. Of course these woman who accuse him of having affairs, knew he was married.. Even the Amish know he is married to Connie Chung! Anyway .. Lets get on with Part I of the list..
14. Jerry Springer - We are gonna start the list with some controversy. Springer’s wacky carnival of stupidity continues to chug along and gives us a glimpse of what red neck America looks like. Most of the show is staged.. I caught an episode recently with this young guy who had no legs. He wore a t-shirt that was tied at the bottom to keep himself from being arrested for illegal exposure. Instead of sitting in a wheelchair, he could walk on his arms, and moved along pretty quickly! The shtick was he was hopping around in a hotel getting caught on camera in bed with other guests' girlfriends! Then after he was caught.. he would chase the boyfriend, who was so shocked to find his woman in bed with this guy... and stunned to be chased by this legless guy sleeping with his woman. The whole premise was so bizarre… yet wildly amusing as is the rest of Jerry’s crazy festival of wackiness. The show has made him a multi-millionaire and it sure beats being the Mayor of Cincinnati.
13. Leno - I don’t like him. He gets big ratings. He’s been on for many many years so he gets points for longevity. The fact that he beats Letterman in the ratings show you can't account for taste. Pretty interesting that his announcer is Stuttering John.
12. Regis - The only host whose talk show AND game show made the top 14 lists on the Nate’s World blog! He’s been holding down that goofy show for 20 years with a variety of annoying co-hosts… the last few years with Kelly Ripa after Kathie Lee bolted to enjoy life with Frank Gifford.
11. Conan - The little engine that could. His premiere in the early 90s as the successor to Letterman was savaged by the critics.. But he persevered and his show chugs on.. And he has now been on in the NBC 1230 slot longer than Letterman.. which just goes to show that Letterman got an earlier spot quicker than Conan. Nonetheless, he will move up to The Tonight Show when Leno moves on. Thank God!
10. Jon Stewart - My heart feels he should rank higher. I used to love his old talk shows that were on MTV and in syndication. Nonetheless, I just cant seem to get into The Daily Show.. I watch too much TV as it is.. And I just don’t have the time to watch another show with any regularity.. Especially in the 11 o’clock hour when I watch Chuck and Sue and The Family Guy… (just got back into those crazy Griffins after GSN took Match Game out of the 1130 spot!)
9. Dick Cavett - Gotta balance out the craziness of Springer with some intellect. He along with Tony Randall were probably the truest renaissance men of our generation, and Cavett was able to handle any kind of guest. His plodding methodical dry questioning was quite entertaining, and it was clear to those watching that he was the smartest man on the stage. He once dropped an F-Bomb on a live Imus show.. I almost fell out of my car when I heard it!
8. Tom Snyder - The King of 1230 in the morning.. First hosting the Tomorrow Show, and later The Late Late Show on CBS.. He even anchored Eyewitness News back in the 80s. The eyebrows.. The cigarettes.. The crazy laugh and his little world of inside jokes that only he found funny.. (“Hey we’re also on the radio… let’s have a simultini!”)
Tune in next week for the rest of the list!
The night Johnny Carson hosted his final show.. I had a little party and we all watched as the King of Talk Shows bid adieu after a remarkable run as The King of Late Night. He said he would be back in some form down the road.. but that that was the last we saw of Mr. Carson.. (aside from a few cameos with Letterman…) During that party while we all crowded around the TV, Dangerspouse sat in the dining room, and happily read a book!
I must admit that I don’t watch talk shows as much as I used to. I seem to be more hip to how staged and scripted the guests have become .. Plus with all the cable channels and now the NHL Playoffs.. who has time? Oh wait a minute.. I can't see the hockey playoffs because I don’t get the OLN channel!! And the new set-up only gives local channels the rights to 2 games in the 2nd round.. and no games in the subsequent rounds. What a truly dopey move for the post lockout NHL to hook up with a cable channel that nobody gets!
Back in the old days.. I used to love talk shows and tried to catch as much Johnny, Merv, Mike, and Letterman as humanly possible. I liked seeing the actors being themselves which is why as a young kid I used to watch all the celebrity game shows like Match Game, Hollywood Squares, Tattletales and Celebrity Sweepstakes.
Their article has some oddball rankings.. So without further ado - here is my list of the top 14 Talk Show hosts!
THE WILD CARDS.. I'm too young to rank them but they deserve mentioning.. .. Pre-Johnny Tonight show hosts Steve Allen and Jack Paar. Both were on before my time so I never got to see them hold down the fort on The Tonight Show. I have seen Steve Allen on a number of shows, and he is credited with many of the man on the street bits that Jay Leno has blatantly stolen! However, I am not familiar with Paar’s work.. so just to be fair I will give them a wild card pick to be inserted wherever you feel is a fair spot.
NOT RANKED - BUT NOTEWORTHY - Talk shows that used to be on Channel 9! When I was a kid, Channels 5, 9, and 11 used to air all the syndicated reruns. But… 5 and 11 got the good shows.. And the lousy ones went to 9. Likewise, Channel 9 had a run of talk shows that could not ever run anywhere else. One was Kiner’s Korner, the Mets post game show with announcer Ralph Kiner… Then there was the all time classic Joe Franklin Show… a late night party with the oddest assortment of guests. When Joe ran out of questions, he had one guest question the other one.. A typical exchange went like this…
“Hello my friends, this is The Joe Franklin Show sponsored by Streit’s Matzo… Morris Katz, the worlds fastest painter is here, along with blind singer Tom Sullivan… Tom.. Maybe you have a question to ask Morris about his painting…" Morris would then proceed to paint a tree in 60 seconds while babbling about how happy he was to be on The Joe Franklin Show, his childhood in Warsaw, and a Polish weather forecast.
Later in the 80s, They also had the Morton Downey Show and of course the Richard Bey Show, the precursor to today’s fine shows hosted by Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. By the way, with all these paternity tests his guests take, and the recent tabloid allegations,... some of his producers may be guests giving him a paternity tests. Of course these woman who accuse him of having affairs, knew he was married.. Even the Amish know he is married to Connie Chung! Anyway .. Lets get on with Part I of the list..
14. Jerry Springer - We are gonna start the list with some controversy. Springer’s wacky carnival of stupidity continues to chug along and gives us a glimpse of what red neck America looks like. Most of the show is staged.. I caught an episode recently with this young guy who had no legs. He wore a t-shirt that was tied at the bottom to keep himself from being arrested for illegal exposure. Instead of sitting in a wheelchair, he could walk on his arms, and moved along pretty quickly! The shtick was he was hopping around in a hotel getting caught on camera in bed with other guests' girlfriends! Then after he was caught.. he would chase the boyfriend, who was so shocked to find his woman in bed with this guy... and stunned to be chased by this legless guy sleeping with his woman. The whole premise was so bizarre… yet wildly amusing as is the rest of Jerry’s crazy festival of wackiness. The show has made him a multi-millionaire and it sure beats being the Mayor of Cincinnati.
13. Leno - I don’t like him. He gets big ratings. He’s been on for many many years so he gets points for longevity. The fact that he beats Letterman in the ratings show you can't account for taste. Pretty interesting that his announcer is Stuttering John.
12. Regis - The only host whose talk show AND game show made the top 14 lists on the Nate’s World blog! He’s been holding down that goofy show for 20 years with a variety of annoying co-hosts… the last few years with Kelly Ripa after Kathie Lee bolted to enjoy life with Frank Gifford.
11. Conan - The little engine that could. His premiere in the early 90s as the successor to Letterman was savaged by the critics.. But he persevered and his show chugs on.. And he has now been on in the NBC 1230 slot longer than Letterman.. which just goes to show that Letterman got an earlier spot quicker than Conan. Nonetheless, he will move up to The Tonight Show when Leno moves on. Thank God!
10. Jon Stewart - My heart feels he should rank higher. I used to love his old talk shows that were on MTV and in syndication. Nonetheless, I just cant seem to get into The Daily Show.. I watch too much TV as it is.. And I just don’t have the time to watch another show with any regularity.. Especially in the 11 o’clock hour when I watch Chuck and Sue and The Family Guy… (just got back into those crazy Griffins after GSN took Match Game out of the 1130 spot!)
9. Dick Cavett - Gotta balance out the craziness of Springer with some intellect. He along with Tony Randall were probably the truest renaissance men of our generation, and Cavett was able to handle any kind of guest. His plodding methodical dry questioning was quite entertaining, and it was clear to those watching that he was the smartest man on the stage. He once dropped an F-Bomb on a live Imus show.. I almost fell out of my car when I heard it!
8. Tom Snyder - The King of 1230 in the morning.. First hosting the Tomorrow Show, and later The Late Late Show on CBS.. He even anchored Eyewitness News back in the 80s. The eyebrows.. The cigarettes.. The crazy laugh and his little world of inside jokes that only he found funny.. (“Hey we’re also on the radio… let’s have a simultini!”)
Tune in next week for the rest of the list!
Friday, May 05, 2006
Nate Night on TLC
Monday night was “Nate Night” on TLC. As I was settling into my Monday night tv viewing... I noticed that back to back episodes of programs airing on TLC featured minor characters named Nate who actually turned out to play pivotal roles in both programs.
Monday nights usually start out for me with 24.. it sure won’t be the Devils Monday night since I don’t get OLN and apparently they won’t be on FSNY till Game 5! 24 has slipped a bit this season since Edgar's death.... (could "Edgar dropping dead" be the term that replaces "jump the shark"?) This past Monday's episode did pick up a bit as Jack stowed away on a plane in search of the tape that proves the President is a bad guy. (In real life, 6 years of newspaper articles prove our President is a bad guy!) Jack spent the whole hour within the confines of the aircraft. First, he knocks out the air marshall and then he drags the wrong guy to the luggage compartment before Chloe calls in to tell Jack that the bad guy is actually... the co pilot!! Incidentally the pilot is played by Richard Gilliland... who is married to Jean Smart (who plays the first lady) and also acted with her on Designing Women back in the 1980s..
Chloe however is turning into the star of the show.. She was forced out of CTU because of insubordination.. even though head honcho Karen now realizes that Chloe and Jack might just be right about the President being a bad boy! Chloe ends up at a hotel bar.. hooks up her high tech computer system and is all set to save the world, when... she is approached by a drunken prospective suitor who meanders over from the bar. Unfazed, Chloe invites him to sit next to her.. and with a straight face.. zaps him in the arm with a taser. (At least she didn’t cut it off with a light saber; good thing George Lucas doesn’t write 24). And, while the Poor Drunk Guy was lying there.. Chloe was doing her thing! Only on 24!
By the way “Lost” has now surpassed 24 as the show with the most shocking twists after Wednesday’s episode when Michael gunned down 2 of the “good” characters. Or were Ana-Lucia and Libby really “Others” as has been rumored? Talk about your “whatcha talking about Willis?” moment. I’m sticking with my theory… all of the Lost peeps are willing participants in a big experiment with this Dharma group and they have been implanted with false memories (shown in “flashbacks”) and amnesia about their involvement with this project. That explains the cures for cancer and paralysis.. I also think the “tailies” are all “Others”.. which may explain why Michael gunned down the 2 chickies.
Anyway, after the intensity of 24.. I usually need some brain candy to recuperate so I have been switching over to TLC for Shalom in the Home with Rabbi Shmuely Boteach. SITH (Shalom in the Home.. Not the sith from Star Wars!) features Shmuely counseling a family but it drags too long.. and if they do an hour show.. they should do 2 families... Shmuely travels around in a little camper (stocked with kosher food I’m sure!) and sits there watching closed circuit TVs of the family in crisis... Then he dispenses his advice.
I used to watch CSI Miami at 10pm , but David Caruso's horrible acting just got to be too much for me.. Also, since seeing her in Breast Men... any TV acting involving Emily Proctor is just anticlimactic. For some reason.. last Monday I wandered on back to see what was going on with CSI. Cute little plot: a couple of murders on a randy cruise ship... and for the most part Caruso wasn't doing too much overacting compared to a typical show.. although his oddball little love affair with his colleague's ill sister is just a tad shmaltzy.
One cool twist to CSI Miami.... do you notice how the Law and Order shows (except Criminal Intent) always start with some irrelevant characters minding their own business and whammo… they come across the big crime scene that launches the episode. You never see those characters again.. They’re just Law and Order pre opening credit filler roles.. a notch above "extras" in the acting stratosphere. CSI Miami had a scene like that a month or so ago involving a couple who were throwing money around while being chased by cops on a drawbridge.... which when it draws reveals a dead body… which led to the plot of that program. Well, a couple of weeks ago, the pre-credit couple were the subject of an entire episode which started with the brief scene we saw in the beginning of that earlier episode but continued on with the perspective on the money tossing couple! Nonetheless, its a bit much to watch Caruso after a full hour of 24!
So last Monday... having watched CSI.. I opted to watch the midnight repeat of Shalom in the Home. The show featured a Jewish guy who met a chic from Turkey.... he converted to Islam (I can just see Shmuley cringing at the pre production meeting hearing about that scenario!)... The couple has 2 kids.. but now they don't get along. Shmuely went to visit them.. and yadda yadda.. the guy was adopted.. felt left out.. the kids came along.. and now he feels left out because the kids get most of the attention. Shmuely shows up in his space ship.. takes them rock climbing... and oy gevalt... the jew-turned-muslim has tattoos! Where is the Aish Foundation when you need them? How much of his lower lip did Shmuley bite off on that one.. considering he was once a Lubavitcher?
How does a Nate fit into the episode? Well.. the wife has had the baby sleeping in the bedroom and the tattoed hubby was forced to the guest room. No way Jose says Shmuley... Out went the baby..and it was time to add some spice to the marriage! Shmuley arranged for the wife to get a massage at a spa by a guy named Nate... but Sneaky Shmuley is soooooooo sneaky... How sneaky is he? He is so sneaky he knocked the husband out with a mallet... gave him another bris and sent him to Lakewood to study Talmud!....
No just kidding,... Ol' Shmuley took Nate out of the room.. and the massage was given by the hubby instead... After a while the wife realized what was going on.. and the couple got to re-ignite some of their passion... while Shmuley watched on a closed circuit TV and realized he would be going to Hell for looking at a topless woman getting a massage. I really admire Shmuley because he puts aside his personal feelings on a lot of these issues...(intermarriage.. tattoos.. topless women) for the sake of bringing shalom to the home! Good for him!
After SITH... another show came on afterwards.. about this huge 700 lb guy named John something or other. I’m gonna ruin the ending by telling you they get you attached to him and he dies at the end. This guy is so huge he cant get out of bed.. and spends the whole day perched on his side. He is married! to a woman who has a heart of gold but a mouth missing many teeth. She stands by him... (he was only mobile during the 1st year of their 7 year marriage)... and even takes care of his sister.
John gets evicted from his apt.. so his family decides to send him to the midwest to a nursing home that rehabilitates the morbidly obese. He goes there.. gets caught with a hidden stash of candy.... but sadly dies before he can even get settled in. He even jokes with a cute nurse about washing her back... but in the context of what should be a lascivious comment.. you realize that this guy wouldn’t be able to do anything even if the nurse re-enacted some of the movies that he was probably watching when the cameras weren’t rolling!
John meets another fella there... named Nate! Nate came there a few months ago.. He’s a younger guy in his mid 20s.. (John is in his late 30s) and they become friends.. Nate plays the gee-tar.. and visits John in his room where they sit and chat. Nate has already lost a lot of weight.. maybe 100-200 lbs... and still has a ways to go. After John dies.. Nate drives from Ohio to John's hometown in MD where he sings a truly beautiful song at a memorial service... By the way.. John was cremated.. I too was curious who the lucky pall bearers were gonna be.
The program does have a bittersweet ending. Nate ends up meeting a very cute girl who is a single mom and it looks like they are going to end up together. The end of the show shows Nate and his little cutie with her kid playing at a playground.. and you can't help but root for Nate to end up better than John did.
The show ended at 2am.. and after 2 hours of Nate night on TLC.. the best part of it all was... I ended up missing Rita Cosby! Yippee.. A night without Duke Lacrosse or Natalee Holloway! If only they could figure out what the heck was happening on Lost last Wednesday!
Monday nights usually start out for me with 24.. it sure won’t be the Devils Monday night since I don’t get OLN and apparently they won’t be on FSNY till Game 5! 24 has slipped a bit this season since Edgar's death.... (could "Edgar dropping dead" be the term that replaces "jump the shark"?) This past Monday's episode did pick up a bit as Jack stowed away on a plane in search of the tape that proves the President is a bad guy. (In real life, 6 years of newspaper articles prove our President is a bad guy!) Jack spent the whole hour within the confines of the aircraft. First, he knocks out the air marshall and then he drags the wrong guy to the luggage compartment before Chloe calls in to tell Jack that the bad guy is actually... the co pilot!! Incidentally the pilot is played by Richard Gilliland... who is married to Jean Smart (who plays the first lady) and also acted with her on Designing Women back in the 1980s..
Chloe however is turning into the star of the show.. She was forced out of CTU because of insubordination.. even though head honcho Karen now realizes that Chloe and Jack might just be right about the President being a bad boy! Chloe ends up at a hotel bar.. hooks up her high tech computer system and is all set to save the world, when... she is approached by a drunken prospective suitor who meanders over from the bar. Unfazed, Chloe invites him to sit next to her.. and with a straight face.. zaps him in the arm with a taser. (At least she didn’t cut it off with a light saber; good thing George Lucas doesn’t write 24). And, while the Poor Drunk Guy was lying there.. Chloe was doing her thing! Only on 24!
By the way “Lost” has now surpassed 24 as the show with the most shocking twists after Wednesday’s episode when Michael gunned down 2 of the “good” characters. Or were Ana-Lucia and Libby really “Others” as has been rumored? Talk about your “whatcha talking about Willis?” moment. I’m sticking with my theory… all of the Lost peeps are willing participants in a big experiment with this Dharma group and they have been implanted with false memories (shown in “flashbacks”) and amnesia about their involvement with this project. That explains the cures for cancer and paralysis.. I also think the “tailies” are all “Others”.. which may explain why Michael gunned down the 2 chickies.
Anyway, after the intensity of 24.. I usually need some brain candy to recuperate so I have been switching over to TLC for Shalom in the Home with Rabbi Shmuely Boteach. SITH (Shalom in the Home.. Not the sith from Star Wars!) features Shmuely counseling a family but it drags too long.. and if they do an hour show.. they should do 2 families... Shmuely travels around in a little camper (stocked with kosher food I’m sure!) and sits there watching closed circuit TVs of the family in crisis... Then he dispenses his advice.
I used to watch CSI Miami at 10pm , but David Caruso's horrible acting just got to be too much for me.. Also, since seeing her in Breast Men... any TV acting involving Emily Proctor is just anticlimactic. For some reason.. last Monday I wandered on back to see what was going on with CSI. Cute little plot: a couple of murders on a randy cruise ship... and for the most part Caruso wasn't doing too much overacting compared to a typical show.. although his oddball little love affair with his colleague's ill sister is just a tad shmaltzy.
One cool twist to CSI Miami.... do you notice how the Law and Order shows (except Criminal Intent) always start with some irrelevant characters minding their own business and whammo… they come across the big crime scene that launches the episode. You never see those characters again.. They’re just Law and Order pre opening credit filler roles.. a notch above "extras" in the acting stratosphere. CSI Miami had a scene like that a month or so ago involving a couple who were throwing money around while being chased by cops on a drawbridge.... which when it draws reveals a dead body… which led to the plot of that program. Well, a couple of weeks ago, the pre-credit couple were the subject of an entire episode which started with the brief scene we saw in the beginning of that earlier episode but continued on with the perspective on the money tossing couple! Nonetheless, its a bit much to watch Caruso after a full hour of 24!
So last Monday... having watched CSI.. I opted to watch the midnight repeat of Shalom in the Home. The show featured a Jewish guy who met a chic from Turkey.... he converted to Islam (I can just see Shmuley cringing at the pre production meeting hearing about that scenario!)... The couple has 2 kids.. but now they don't get along. Shmuely went to visit them.. and yadda yadda.. the guy was adopted.. felt left out.. the kids came along.. and now he feels left out because the kids get most of the attention. Shmuely shows up in his space ship.. takes them rock climbing... and oy gevalt... the jew-turned-muslim has tattoos! Where is the Aish Foundation when you need them? How much of his lower lip did Shmuley bite off on that one.. considering he was once a Lubavitcher?
How does a Nate fit into the episode? Well.. the wife has had the baby sleeping in the bedroom and the tattoed hubby was forced to the guest room. No way Jose says Shmuley... Out went the baby..and it was time to add some spice to the marriage! Shmuley arranged for the wife to get a massage at a spa by a guy named Nate... but Sneaky Shmuley is soooooooo sneaky... How sneaky is he? He is so sneaky he knocked the husband out with a mallet... gave him another bris and sent him to Lakewood to study Talmud!....
No just kidding,... Ol' Shmuley took Nate out of the room.. and the massage was given by the hubby instead... After a while the wife realized what was going on.. and the couple got to re-ignite some of their passion... while Shmuley watched on a closed circuit TV and realized he would be going to Hell for looking at a topless woman getting a massage. I really admire Shmuley because he puts aside his personal feelings on a lot of these issues...(intermarriage.. tattoos.. topless women) for the sake of bringing shalom to the home! Good for him!
After SITH... another show came on afterwards.. about this huge 700 lb guy named John something or other. I’m gonna ruin the ending by telling you they get you attached to him and he dies at the end. This guy is so huge he cant get out of bed.. and spends the whole day perched on his side. He is married! to a woman who has a heart of gold but a mouth missing many teeth. She stands by him... (he was only mobile during the 1st year of their 7 year marriage)... and even takes care of his sister.
John gets evicted from his apt.. so his family decides to send him to the midwest to a nursing home that rehabilitates the morbidly obese. He goes there.. gets caught with a hidden stash of candy.... but sadly dies before he can even get settled in. He even jokes with a cute nurse about washing her back... but in the context of what should be a lascivious comment.. you realize that this guy wouldn’t be able to do anything even if the nurse re-enacted some of the movies that he was probably watching when the cameras weren’t rolling!
John meets another fella there... named Nate! Nate came there a few months ago.. He’s a younger guy in his mid 20s.. (John is in his late 30s) and they become friends.. Nate plays the gee-tar.. and visits John in his room where they sit and chat. Nate has already lost a lot of weight.. maybe 100-200 lbs... and still has a ways to go. After John dies.. Nate drives from Ohio to John's hometown in MD where he sings a truly beautiful song at a memorial service... By the way.. John was cremated.. I too was curious who the lucky pall bearers were gonna be.
The program does have a bittersweet ending. Nate ends up meeting a very cute girl who is a single mom and it looks like they are going to end up together. The end of the show shows Nate and his little cutie with her kid playing at a playground.. and you can't help but root for Nate to end up better than John did.
The show ended at 2am.. and after 2 hours of Nate night on TLC.. the best part of it all was... I ended up missing Rita Cosby! Yippee.. A night without Duke Lacrosse or Natalee Holloway! If only they could figure out what the heck was happening on Lost last Wednesday!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Who's Your Daddy?
Well I have finally done it.. I have seen "The Empire Strikes Back" and with my own eyes witnessed one of the most talked about scenes in movie history... Darth Vader cuts off Luke Skywalker's arm... (After Obie Won Kenobie pulled the same stunt on Darth in SW III) at which point Darth reveals to Luke that he is indeed his poppa.
Duh.
Just kidding.. I only knew that because I chose to watch the movies in chronological order and this was revealed in the 3rd movie.. BUT... for those who watched this scene in the movies it was truly the biggest "Whatcha talkin' about Willis?" moment since that “extra special” episode when Arnold found out that Gordon Jump's character was a pedophile. Sorta in the category of the unaired Family Affair episode where Jodie walks in on Uncle Bill and Mr. French and found out that Mrs. Beasley was more than just a little ol' rag doll.
The Empire Strikes Back, released in 1980 was quite futuristic. The aforementioned Luke... fresh from losing his arm to his padre, ends up getting a hand transplant.. a surgery not performed until approximately 20 years after the movie was made! And when R2D2 tells C3P0 about a ship sabotage operation he heard from another computer..... C3Po admonished him with the timely…”Don’t you know better than to trust a strange computer?”. Imagine that... computer viruses, spyware, internet problems..,.. all prophesized in The Empire Strikes Back.
The Empire here are the bad guys led by Darth Vader and backed up by The Emperor aka Bad Boy Palpatine, who was not played by Ian McDiarmid in the original, but actually was dubbed into the dvd, instead of Clive Revill who played him in the movie! McDiarmid who stole the show in Star Wars III actually plays the role in Return of the Jedi, but when that was filmed in the early 80s he was made up to look older.. but lets not jump ahead here... I read this on IMDB and I’m kind of curious to see how this is all going to work out.
To me, the bad guys shouldn’t be called The Empire.. That word always evokes happy thoughts.. Empire State Building, Empire Chicken, Empire Carpet, Empire Mortgage, etc. Once again,... Darth is fighting the battle.. but he knows he needs to win the war. Sonny boy Luke is caught in a tug of war between Darth's evil and The Good of the Force. Even though his mentor Obie Won is dead (killed at the hands of Darth Vader... or was he?), Luke still sees him.. Because in a John Edward-esque twist, he can now speak to the dead! Obie wan reaches out to him and tells him where to go for Jedi training by my homeboy Yoda!
My man Yoda then makes his 1st appearance... in the early movies he was a puppet... After initially meeting Luke he acts more intoxicated than a Match Game panelist... But, as it turns out it is all an act.. and after the silliness of their first meeting, Luke realizes that Yoda is giving him what he needs to earn credits for Force 101. But his sixth sense soon tells him that he may need to leave training camp for a more important mission.. kind of like the players who left their training camps to go play in the World Baseball Classic... only to find out it was not such a great idea... .like Bartolo Colon for example. In this case Luke.. not Bartolo senses imminent danger for Princess Leia and Han Solo.
Initially, our friends are hiding out at the icy planet.. but when Darth realizes that Luke is there.. he invades it.. thus beginning the 2 hour hunt for Luke.. the linchpin behind an Empire victory... or defeat... Luke, Princess Leia, Han Solo, and Chewbacca.. along with droids c3po and r2d2 all manage to escape virtually unscathed... and while Luke and r2 go to Yoda-land, the rest continue on their merry way. However Han and Leia with amor brewing in the air, have to dodge Darth’s Keystone Kops Army…. They also need to duck an asteroid storm to do so… and end up in a real life game of the early 80s video game “Asteroids”. (Thankfully the graphics in the movie are far more advanced than the plain ol' ones in the Asteroid game!) Ultimately, they run into danger at the hands of Darth Vader.. And ol’ Luke has to leave Yoda to rescue his friends.. in what is actually a trap set by his own pop. No Father’s Day card for Darth.. That’s for sure…
Poor Han Solo.. On the run from Jabba the Hut. he gets caught by bounty hunter Boba Fett (who was seen in the 2nd Star Wars movie when his dad Jango Fett created the clones) Han is frozen alive… and in his last moments of consciousness Leia tells him.. “I love you”… Han slyly replies… “I know”,… not very compassionate.. Especially when you consider what an emotional basket case his sidekick Chewbacca is. (What would Shmuely Boteach say if Han and Leia were on his new reality show Shalom in the Home?),…. .
The key moment in this movie is the battle between Luke and Darth Vader… who doesn’t catch on till this movie that he is actually Luke’s dad. Didn’t the name “Skywalker” give it away? Didn’t he realize that Luke was adopted? Didn’t he wonder where Luke came from… or are those adoption records sealed? The infamous confrontation actually begins with Luke telling Darth…”I’m full of surprises”. Uh maybe not this time Luke… Anyway, yet another arm is lost… (Luke uses his light saber to de-arm a polar bear in the beginning of the movie.) What happened in George Lucas’s childhood that he has this obsession with losing arms??
Darth also tries some mind games to get Luke to cross over to the Dark Side.. by employing the same logic used on him in Star Wars III. It doesn’t work on Luke though… which shows Darth that young Luke is emotionally stronger than young Annakin. (Luke was well taught by Yoda not to give in to anger… or else he would end up on the dark side!) Darth also has an odd relationship with his military.. brutally killing a general every time he messes up. He does look the other way at the end when Luke and Leia get away.. mainly because it was r2d2 who saved the day… and of course as we know from SW1, r2d2 was a childhood friend of … Darth Vader!
The special effects are fantastic.. even by today’s standards.. even though this movie was made 25 years ago. The fight sequences are incredible.. Both on land and in space… The Empire is made to look like inept Nazis.. While to me at least the fledgling good guys remind me of the Israeli Army.. Despite the odds, they always come out ahead…. Also, the music composition is perfectly scored with the ominous Darth theme playing each time just moments before the heavy breathing wack-o appears on screen.
On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom…
I was going to give The Empire Strikes Back 3 and a half bladders.. BUT… since I already knew the Luke - Darth twist… I am going to give it an additional bonus half bladder because the shock of that plot twist dramatically improves the quality of the movie.. Therefore ladies and gentlemen….
The Empire Strikes Back,…. Is a 4 bladder movie!
Duh.
Just kidding.. I only knew that because I chose to watch the movies in chronological order and this was revealed in the 3rd movie.. BUT... for those who watched this scene in the movies it was truly the biggest "Whatcha talkin' about Willis?" moment since that “extra special” episode when Arnold found out that Gordon Jump's character was a pedophile. Sorta in the category of the unaired Family Affair episode where Jodie walks in on Uncle Bill and Mr. French and found out that Mrs. Beasley was more than just a little ol' rag doll.
The Empire Strikes Back, released in 1980 was quite futuristic. The aforementioned Luke... fresh from losing his arm to his padre, ends up getting a hand transplant.. a surgery not performed until approximately 20 years after the movie was made! And when R2D2 tells C3P0 about a ship sabotage operation he heard from another computer..... C3Po admonished him with the timely…”Don’t you know better than to trust a strange computer?”. Imagine that... computer viruses, spyware, internet problems..,.. all prophesized in The Empire Strikes Back.
The Empire here are the bad guys led by Darth Vader and backed up by The Emperor aka Bad Boy Palpatine, who was not played by Ian McDiarmid in the original, but actually was dubbed into the dvd, instead of Clive Revill who played him in the movie! McDiarmid who stole the show in Star Wars III actually plays the role in Return of the Jedi, but when that was filmed in the early 80s he was made up to look older.. but lets not jump ahead here... I read this on IMDB and I’m kind of curious to see how this is all going to work out.
To me, the bad guys shouldn’t be called The Empire.. That word always evokes happy thoughts.. Empire State Building, Empire Chicken, Empire Carpet, Empire Mortgage, etc. Once again,... Darth is fighting the battle.. but he knows he needs to win the war. Sonny boy Luke is caught in a tug of war between Darth's evil and The Good of the Force. Even though his mentor Obie Won is dead (killed at the hands of Darth Vader... or was he?), Luke still sees him.. Because in a John Edward-esque twist, he can now speak to the dead! Obie wan reaches out to him and tells him where to go for Jedi training by my homeboy Yoda!
My man Yoda then makes his 1st appearance... in the early movies he was a puppet... After initially meeting Luke he acts more intoxicated than a Match Game panelist... But, as it turns out it is all an act.. and after the silliness of their first meeting, Luke realizes that Yoda is giving him what he needs to earn credits for Force 101. But his sixth sense soon tells him that he may need to leave training camp for a more important mission.. kind of like the players who left their training camps to go play in the World Baseball Classic... only to find out it was not such a great idea... .like Bartolo Colon for example. In this case Luke.. not Bartolo senses imminent danger for Princess Leia and Han Solo.
Initially, our friends are hiding out at the icy planet.. but when Darth realizes that Luke is there.. he invades it.. thus beginning the 2 hour hunt for Luke.. the linchpin behind an Empire victory... or defeat... Luke, Princess Leia, Han Solo, and Chewbacca.. along with droids c3po and r2d2 all manage to escape virtually unscathed... and while Luke and r2 go to Yoda-land, the rest continue on their merry way. However Han and Leia with amor brewing in the air, have to dodge Darth’s Keystone Kops Army…. They also need to duck an asteroid storm to do so… and end up in a real life game of the early 80s video game “Asteroids”. (Thankfully the graphics in the movie are far more advanced than the plain ol' ones in the Asteroid game!) Ultimately, they run into danger at the hands of Darth Vader.. And ol’ Luke has to leave Yoda to rescue his friends.. in what is actually a trap set by his own pop. No Father’s Day card for Darth.. That’s for sure…
Poor Han Solo.. On the run from Jabba the Hut. he gets caught by bounty hunter Boba Fett (who was seen in the 2nd Star Wars movie when his dad Jango Fett created the clones) Han is frozen alive… and in his last moments of consciousness Leia tells him.. “I love you”… Han slyly replies… “I know”,… not very compassionate.. Especially when you consider what an emotional basket case his sidekick Chewbacca is. (What would Shmuely Boteach say if Han and Leia were on his new reality show Shalom in the Home?),…. .
The key moment in this movie is the battle between Luke and Darth Vader… who doesn’t catch on till this movie that he is actually Luke’s dad. Didn’t the name “Skywalker” give it away? Didn’t he realize that Luke was adopted? Didn’t he wonder where Luke came from… or are those adoption records sealed? The infamous confrontation actually begins with Luke telling Darth…”I’m full of surprises”. Uh maybe not this time Luke… Anyway, yet another arm is lost… (Luke uses his light saber to de-arm a polar bear in the beginning of the movie.) What happened in George Lucas’s childhood that he has this obsession with losing arms??
Darth also tries some mind games to get Luke to cross over to the Dark Side.. by employing the same logic used on him in Star Wars III. It doesn’t work on Luke though… which shows Darth that young Luke is emotionally stronger than young Annakin. (Luke was well taught by Yoda not to give in to anger… or else he would end up on the dark side!) Darth also has an odd relationship with his military.. brutally killing a general every time he messes up. He does look the other way at the end when Luke and Leia get away.. mainly because it was r2d2 who saved the day… and of course as we know from SW1, r2d2 was a childhood friend of … Darth Vader!
The special effects are fantastic.. even by today’s standards.. even though this movie was made 25 years ago. The fight sequences are incredible.. Both on land and in space… The Empire is made to look like inept Nazis.. While to me at least the fledgling good guys remind me of the Israeli Army.. Despite the odds, they always come out ahead…. Also, the music composition is perfectly scored with the ominous Darth theme playing each time just moments before the heavy breathing wack-o appears on screen.
On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom…
I was going to give The Empire Strikes Back 3 and a half bladders.. BUT… since I already knew the Luke - Darth twist… I am going to give it an additional bonus half bladder because the shock of that plot twist dramatically improves the quality of the movie.. Therefore ladies and gentlemen….
The Empire Strikes Back,…. Is a 4 bladder movie!
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