Saturday, December 12, 2009

Welcome to New Jersey Part II

Happy Hannukah everybody!

Time for a recap of the Week in NJ… first the latest on the Gay Marriage Issue.. followed by the latest news from the best new show on TV… “Jersey Shore”

Gay “Marriage” is one on of those topics that I really am not that passionate about… yet I am writing about it today because I need to honor my commitment to turn out a column each week in the Fall to go along with the Pumpstradamus football picks.

This weeks update on Gay Marriage in NJ: Lame duck Governor Jon Corzine supports it…. Incoming Republican savior Chris Christie says he will veto it. I am not quite sure why Gay Marriage has become such a hot topic for the Republicans. The vote that was scheduled for last week was bounced from the State Senate and instead will be moved over to the State Assembly.

OK now time to recap the 2nd episode of “Jersey Shore”?

I mean, c’mon I may be in my very very late 30s but I just find the show very entertaining. It’s a reality show just for us Joiseyans. And although I am sympathetic to Italian Americans who take offense to the characters on this show… I think most people realize that the Guidos and Guidettes on this show are not truly representative of the typical younger generation of Italian Americans… remember that point, I will tie that in to gay marriage later in this column!

Thursday’s episode further showed evidence that if this was the strategic game of “Guido Seaside Heights Survivor” Snooki and The Situation would be the final 2 because they seem to have the most common sense among the rest of the crew. . Two of the girls – Jwow and Angelina somehow managed to get dumped by their boyfriends. Jwow had “cheated” last wk when she saw a Guido Shmeckle.. and when she fessed up on the phone to indiscretions.. her boyfriend abruptly hung up. Angelina was so distraught about her break-up that she was too sick to work her shift at the boardwalk t shirt store and subsequently copped a ‘tude to her boss and was fired, and then left the show. The rest of the house yawned,

Later that night at 11pm, I found myself skipping my nightly dose of Chuck and Sue and instead stayed with MTV for the “Jersey Shore” post game show… a panel show with a hostess and 3 cast members. The Situation was there along with Sammi and he used his “sleazy to the point that hes actually likeable” charm to show Sammi she missed the boat by hooking up with a different guy. During Thursday’s episode she went on a miniature golfing date with her boytoy Ronnie, he wore a wacky hat that made him look like Peter Pan.

They then brought out Angelina who continues to have delusions of mediocrity…. She announced that she and that bf are no longer together.. however that bf was also married at the time… even though Angelina used some kind of twisted white trash term to explain that he was separated from his wife. It was also interesting to note that Angelina admitted that she had met the Situation before the show had started taping… the 2 had “hooked up” once before – yet in the premiere they acted as if they had never met… which on 2nd thought could actually make sense… since most of these hookups appear to take place in an alcohol fueled daze.

But one of the wackiest moments involved loveable Snookie… who gets punched in next weeks episode – who brings her female bartender friend back to the hot tub…(still not used by the other female housemates; see last week’s column for my Warren Commission theory about why they don’t use it)… and the next thing you know, Snookie announces she feels like making out with someone and starts slobbering with her girl friend!

And then I started to wonder if this would change my mind about Gay Marriage.

And no – I won’t. I agree with Washington State’s “anything but” vote last November, but my issue with Gay Marriage is solely based on one reason – and that is the definition of the word “marriage”…Keep in mind I am more than 100% supportive of gay partners getting all of the legal benefits that a heterosexual couple is entitled to… although that does open a can of worms for straight couples who live together and can’t get those benefits.

The only thing with me.. is the word is the word… men can’t be “pregnant”… despite what that one loony kazoonie pregnant guy says… When it comes to math – numbers are black and white with no gray area. Language is a little different.. there is a gray area.. but if the definition of “marriage” is a union between a man and a woman… I don’t know how a same sex couple can be married to each other.

I think its also important to note the protests are being conducted by nutjobs living in the past who protest gay marriage because they think its an immoral lifestyle. Because even though gay sex is not my type of thing, many other things are not my type of thing such as voting for George Bush, chopped liver and going to the ballet. But who am I to say that others cant participate in an activity that isn’t “my type of thing”?

The Hasidic Jews who have been protesting gay marriage are attracting a lot of attention on this topic too… as has the Catholic Church. I think the chusids should have spent time protesting outside screenings of “Trembling Before God”… that movie that portrayed their anti gay stance and made them look a lot worse than the homosexual “sinners” they protest against. I think its time for people to accept that the concept of accepting homosexuals is here to stay.

And the one argument that is tough to debate is people who don’t want gays showing public displays of affection. We live in a society where its perfectly normal to see a straight couple holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek. I don’t want to see anybody doing more than that in public, yet how do you answer parents of confused young kids who witness 2 men or 2 women holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek.

And ultimately NJ will go like every other state. The politicians want the gay vote so they will vote for it… but ultimately once it goes on the ballot, the voters will probably end up rejecting it just like every other state. But most of us are not voting that way because we are the “anti gay” fringe… we are the anti gay ‘marriage“ group.

And like the Italian Americans who are annoyed with “Jersey Shore”, I think its important to differentiate those of us voting no on the language terms from those people who are anti Gay for some bizarre antiquated moral reason. We find ourselves in the same battle like the Italian Americans who don’t want to be compared to the wacky 5 on “Jersey Shore”

And I say 5 because Angelina is gone leaving 7 in that house, and I still think that “The Situation” and Snooki have brains that are loaded with common sense. If you saw the premiere episode, you saw how she misunderstood her roomies attacks on skanky girls as being a direct attack on her… even though that conversation had NOTHING to do with her. Was this paranoia… or a misunderstanding typical for a Three’s Company episode?? Incidentally one blogger described The Situation as Don Knotts with a 6 pack!

Actually Snooki is incredibly paranoid and insecure. She isn’t dumb… she just has some type of mental illness!. And her insecurity is as big as The Situations bizarre sense of self confidence. But just because she is paranoid and insecure doesn’t necessarily make her a dummy… unless she starts protesting that homosexuals are immoral people!


Pumpy improved to 7-6 with his incredible prediction of Miami over the Patriots. This week, with all this talk about gay marriage and "Jersey Shore"... Jersey is where we go as the New York Jets are 3 point road faves over Tampa Bay: Sayeth the Pump: "Take the bucs because between 2 kids and a new house - I need a lot of bucks!"


Last week we went 1-2 to drop to 20-19... and like Pumpy we go into week 14 1 game over .500.

GIANTS 1 fave over The Eagles - The Cowgirls fans are also rooting for the Giants this week.. but oddly there is a playoff possibility where an Eagle division win and a Giant wild card tie with Dallas would knock Dallas out of the post season. Nonetheless, I'm picking the Giants!

San Diego 3 doggies over DALLAS - The Chargers have been hot with a streak that started against The Giants.. a game we all remember with dread!

BEARS 3 doggies over Green Bay - Then again, Packers with the wild card, and Giants and Eagles getting in is also a nice scenario... this week take da bears!

CLIP OF THE WEEK: I like Neil Diamond... and amazingly he has remade The Adam Sandler Hannukah Song! Happy Hannukah!

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