The Top 14 Shows to Watch in 2010

I am a little late with the column this week… getting it on line in the post midnight hours of Saturday Night! It has been an incredibly busy week as I took on new responsibilities at my synagogue’s annual 12/24 event and I must say the hard work paid off as we sold out with approx 230 people attending an event that in past years brought in approximately 100-150. Nonetheless, my usual blogging time got pushed back and I spent Christmas Day sleeping and watching movies including of course ---- A Christmas Story!

Today, NWOW presents a list of the 14 must see shows for next year – 2 of them will not have new episodes next season but I decided to list them anyway because you can still watch the reruns…

Here they are listed by their 2009 watchability rankings

1. Jersey Shore – This show achieved immortality moments into its premiere episode when a young musclehead named Mike proudly proclaimed that his nickname.. usually a name that is shorter than ones real name… is The Situation! A few minutes later a crazy little Elvira lookalike munchkin arrived, announced her name was Snooki and instantly got plastered. Must see TV… but needs an announcement before each episode that these people are not true representatives of typical Italian NJ young adults.

2. 24 – Year in and Year out..24 hits it out of the ballpark with its unique format. Some exciting new characters were brought aboard this year and the show ended on a cliffhanger with Jack Bauer contracting some type of deadly disease. The problem with 24 and the next show on the list is their season only runs January through May and by the time the end of the year lists are written up, you have to scratch your head to remember what was going on several months ago.

3. Lost – Speaking of the Devil… last season Lost really hit a home run with its mind boggling time travel elements and bizarre twists about John Locke and his ability to come back from the dead. I just reread the May 19th column…(Rivers. Islands and Sun – see the archives) to remember all that craziness that was jammed into my head about the season. The show has a ton of fans as is evidenced by the day after recaps on various websites. Even the fantasy baseball q and a’s on Espn.com involve a weekly column where characters ask their questions using the names of Lost characters. Hopefully they will run a last season recap before the season premiere to remind us of what happened in May.

4. Curb Your Enthusiasm – The 2nd to last episode may have been the most brilliant episode of a comedy show in TV history. The whole sub plot involving fictitious Groats disease invading the set of the Seinfeld reunion led to the long anticipated "meeting” between Michael Richards and Leon who is black. Just in case you forgot, a few years back while performing standup at a comedy club, Richards had a meltdown and went into a rather prejudiced rant when he was heckled at a comedy club by some blacks. However, Leon followed the stereotype of black people not knowing the Seinfeld characters and instead went into an adlibbed rant while posing as “Groats survivor Danny Duberstein” about how “Richards” could be cured of Groats disease. Purely hysterical and when the season comes out on DVD… probably in time for the holidays next year…it will be a must have for all Seinfeld/Curb fans. See #14 also.

5. Family Guy – Seth McFarlane is a genius and each week the show gets 9 out of 10 jokes off successfully in this crazy cartoon about a dysfunctional family from Quahog, Rhode Island. Nobody likes the daughter, one son is a moron and the baby boy is possessed. One of the neighbors is paralyzed, the other is perennially horny, and the dog and baby talk better English than anybody else… The pop culture flashbacks are just hysterical 9 times out of 10. Currently its funnier than The Simpsons, but it will not run for as many years.

6. American Dad – Show #2 of 3 from Camp McFarlane ( The 3rd is Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show which may be on next years list) focuses on your typical crazy right wing Republican Family with the rebellious daughter. This guy works for the government and has a fish that talks with a German accent and a flamboyant Paul Lynde sounding alien who has a penchant for dressing up in outrageous wardrobes. Don’t we all have an alien living with us? The show does not use the Family Guy flashbacks, so it depends more on character development to move the story along and some weeks is better than Family Guy. The Christmas episode with Michelle the angel….aka the hooker with wings was very well done!.

7. Big Bang Theory – How could you not like a show with characters named Sheldon and Leonard named after the legendary TV producer who is a distant relative of Trophy Wife? Sheldon steals the show and Kaely Cuoco is perfectly cast as the lovely neighbor who has the bizarrely odd relationship with Leonard. The relationship is not too realistic, yet it gives Sheldon some great opportunities and if this show has a long run like the other CBS Monday sitcoms, the story might evolve into a Penny-Leonard breakup followed by a Penny-Sheldon hook up which would be incredibly oddly funny. The best show on Monday Nights and the best sitcom on network TV

8. Better off Ted – A new addition to our list; I just started watching this workplace gem a few weeks ago and unlike The Office I really find it funny. (I don’t know why, but I just can’t get into The Office)… Nonetheless, Ted is surrounded by a nutty boss played by Portia de Rossi and two bizarre scientists who look like they belong on a Jeopardy Tournament! Last weeks episode where one scientist was sleeping with the mother of another was incredibly funny capped off by a sight gag where a scientist reveals his latest invention – popcorn that pops using the heat inside your mouth. You had to see this to really appreciate it. I hope this show sticks around… it’s got great potential.

9. Jeopardy – There doesn’t seem to be anything else on at 7pm – and I even catch the reruns on GSN. I am leaving off the other classic game shows on GSN because except for the last 2 shows here, I am only listing shows that are still producing new episodes. Even though I don’t know most of the answers, I do feel happy when I know some of them.. and in those rare situations when I get a Final Jeopardy answer that the three contestants all miss… then I feel like a million bucks.

10. Millionaire – After seeing Slumdog Millionaire I started watching it again… The Meredith Vierra version got a little more adventurous this year when they added a timer. They also recently got rid of “phone a friend” much to Google’s chagrin… since friends were just googling to get the right answer. They also did a million dollar tournament in the fall that with a few tweaks could be very entertaining and add an element of contestants competing against each other. Its an entertaining game and more my speed than the much more challenging Jeopardy. The Regis reruns on GSN are also entertaining.

11. How I Met Your Mother – The show trying to stake its claim as the follow up to the Thursday Night Friends/Seinfeld powerhouse. Five entertaining characters who hang out at a local bar – the stories are well told in a non chronological fashion and Neil Patrick Harris has totally reinvented himself post Harold and Kumar with the incredible Barney who has remarkable methods to meet chics… For those of us who are married and live vicariously through our single friends… Barney is a very entertaining character… especially when he comes out with some bizarre philosophies. Great acting job by NPH who is gay in real life!

12. 30 Rock – The behind the scenes look at an SNL type comedy show is quite amusing on a regular basis. Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey lead a strong cast as the network executive and producer of a show hosted by “Tracy Jordan”. The show has been consistently funny this season including a recent episode loaded with gags such as a bizarre look at how high def adversely affects ones appearance when looking at a person close-up. Another bit involved a character who I thought did an incredible Gilbert Gottfriend impression until I found out that it was actually the voice of…. Gilbert Gottfried! Alec Baldwin hasn’t made Thursday Nights this entertaining since he was on Knots Landing!

13. Monk Final Season – Technically not a show I will watch in 2010 but it gets an honorable mention because the final episodes were so brilliantly put together. Monk’s original assistant Sharona returned in one of the late episodes and her character got some closure by hooking up with bumbling cop Randy. And ultimately Monk not only solved the murder of his beloved wife Trudy but also found out that she had had a daughter. That reunion was amusing and very touching. Monk found a new purpose in life.. getting to know Trudy’s grown daughter. We also saw the final scene where Monk goes to a crime scene and finally unbuttons that top button and dresses a little stylish… making you realize that in the world of Monk… alot of the foibles had gone away and in his world everything was going to be ok. I’m sure they will bring the characters back for a reunion movie.. unless a Monk reunion becomes the new project for Larry David on the next season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”.

14. Seinfeld reruns – It was probably the top show in those “Best of the 90s” columns in the pre-blogging era of a decade ago. However that show had a less heartwarming episode as the 4 main characters were sent to prison for not helping a mugging victim. For more than 10 years we have heard the debates of that finale, and the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme this season was an incredible “Seinfeld reunion” which had a new “ending”. George got married, made millions, got ripped off by Madoff and then got dumped by his wife.. only to reconcile with her as long as he would sign a pre-nup not touching his money that she got in the divorce and wisely did not invest with Madoff. Amazingly the first scene with all 4 characters in the “reunion” included just 2 words – Madoff? Madoff. It was all in the tone And after watching this season of Curb… I have started to revisit the Seinfeld reruns which air nightly at 1130 and 1230.

And if we must follow the rules of shows to watch for 2010 you can always substitute 13 and 14 with any of the many CSI’s and Law and Orders.


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Pumpie tied last week to remain evened up at 7-7-1. This week we go to Cleveland the city where they filmed “A Christmas Story”. In a game only Pumpy cares about, the Browns are 3 ½ point faves over The Raiders. Sayeth the Pump: “MY buddy just went to Cleveland.. so take the Browns!”

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK

Last week we dropped under .500 by going 1-2 to drop to 22-23. The Giants hold the tie breakers and need to win 1 more game than the Packers or Cowboys in order to make the playoffs. In the unlikely event that the Giants lose and the other 2 win… next week we will be picking bowl games!

GIANTS 7 faves over Carolina – The Panthers are coming off a big 4th quarter in the Sunday night win over Minnesota.. but it was late at night and past Brett Favre’s bedtime. Huge game for NY.. in their last game at Giants Stadium.

REDSKINS 6 ½ doggies over Dallas – The Skins should be quite ticked after last weeks Monday Night Debacle… and you won’t be seeing that crazy trick play again where all the players ran away so quick you thought the center farted.

Seahawks 14 doggies over GREEN BAY – Hopefully Seattle can sneak in and help the Giants… but they will probably just cover the spread.

NEXT WEEK: We welcome a new decade with our 200th column!

Welcome to New Jersey Part III: Snooki? She Must Be Italian

“It seems today,
That all you see,
Is violence in movies,
and sex on T.V.”

Shouldn’t this be the theme song for Thursday’s episode of “Jersey Shore”?

Yes folks… we called it the night it premiered… not only is this program loaded with the most entertaining characters on reality show history… but you can find parallels between the shenanigans at the shore house and real life current events.

Lets catch up with the key highlights involving that wacky Cast of 6 plus Vinnie who is really like Chuck on Happy Days… he’s there but you really never see him:

This week the term “The Situation” became even more mainstream. Not only was it the punchline on a Letterman Top 10 list… but The Situation appeared as a guest on Conan O’Brien, on Wendy Williams, and in a comedy skit on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He even presented Conan with his own nickname - “The Solution”. It makes no sense.. but its still funny in that Situation-esque way.

During Thursday’s episode, Paulie discovered that Ronnie is getting a lot of screen time with his sordid affair with Sammie. By the way, who washes the housemates sheets? They never seem to do laundry! Paulie realized he needed a new way to get on the air. After seeing Vinny practicing his fist pumping off camera, Paulie did not want to be releaged to back burner status so he decided to become The Situation’s wing man and hang out with him as he attempts to introduce young ladies to “The Situation”.

The Sammi-Ronnie hook ups are one of those deals where you hope that if they have a kid their genes skip a generation so the kids will end up with at least some brains. The episode picked up where last week’s left off where Sammi mistakenly thought Paulie left a club with JWow/Sham Wow. Paulie truthfully reported that nothing was going on, but Sammi just wouldn’t let it go. A friend of mine claims that during part of the argument, Sammi actually sat on the toilet… but I wasn’t sure. Ultimately the episode revealed that Sammi has major insecurity issues.

Now let’s see if I have this right… Paulie and The Situation hook up with 2 chics at the bar while Snookie hooks up with a guy she thinks is Ron… yet his name is really Russ. Can you imagine the late Tim Russert referring to his dad as Big Ron? Has any other blogger been able to find a connection between Russert and this show? Meanwhile, it turns out that Russ is really friends with Sham Wow’s boyfriend… (or is it J-Wow?) and is on a spy mission to report that her braless fake bozooms have been bouncing around with young Mr. Paulie. The Situation and Paulie leave the club with their 2 girls en route to the hot tub, but then they see 2 better looking chics in a convertible so they simply walk away from Pair o’ Chics #1 to try to hot tub it with Pair o’ Chics #2…

Pair o’ Chics #2 end up headed back to the house as Snookie leaves with Ron-Russ. But in a moment that totally disproved last week’s theory that she is intelligent, Snookie gets lost finding her beach house and decides to take Ron-Russ to the beach instead where they just hang out. Meanwhile back at the house, Pair o’ Chics #2 turn out to be very dull and The Situation finds himself… in a situation. But not to worry… because there is a knock on the door, and guess who is standing there? Pair o’ Chics #1! Which means that Pair o’ Chics #1 were able to somehow figure out where the house is located… while Snookie who actually lives there was wandering the streets of Seaside!!

Ultimately Chic #1 from Pair o’ Chics #1 appears to be hooking up with The Situation… but Paulie wants no part of Chic #2 who is a tad annoying. He breaks the cardinal rule of being a wingman and just walks away from her leaving the 2 girls with The Situation… but Chic #2 starts kvetching again so ultimately her friend ditches her and heads back to a bedroom for some hoochie mscoochie. Of course not the smartest idea… what is the annoying girl going to do since the Wingman stopped guarding her?? She barges into the bedroom…. Interrupts our young lovers…and tells her friend she is making a big mistake. Once again, The Situation ends up…. in a situation!

Last week I discovered something very interesting about the Situation… despite his well proportioned 6 pack and his womanizing ways, he really deep down seems to be a half decent guy… And not only does he give himself a nickname… but he also has nicknames for other people too. He has one for Conan O’Brien… He called one of his many failed conquests Freckles McGee and he called another girl with an odd personality “The Grenade.”

This was when I realized that The Situation is really…. Sawyer from Lost. I mean c’mon.. he has the 6-pack… he can’t seem to get it right with women… AND he always has a nickname for everybody!

Now for the news stories this week!

THE NETS SITUATION

Before we accuse our Gang of 6 plus Vinny of being New Jersey’s biggest embarrassment… The New Jersey Nets continue to have the stranglehold on that prestigious title. The Nets are already 9 1/2 games out of the last playoff spot… and they have only won 2 games! How are they supposed to make up that deficit? And whereas 2 wks ago I said the team has chutzpah to charge for tickets, the action of this past week shows that their audacity has no boundaries.

This week the move to Brooklyn edged closer to reality. The NY Court’s decision to allow Eminent Domain helped them considerably and now bonds are going to be purchased that will free up money to construct the new arena which means the Nets are pretty much finished in NJ after playing the next 2 lame duck seasons.

But… there was talk in Trenton this week about introducing a bill to create a truce between the Meadowlands Arena… home of the Nets.. and the new Prudential Center, which lured the Devils and Seton Hall basketball from the older arena. A lawmaker in Trenton introduced a bill this week that would allow a deal between the two competing arenas that sporting events would move to Pru and the Meadowlands would host non sporting events… This deal would be funded by a new $3 surcharge that would be added on to tickets purchased at either arena.

And the centerpiece to this deal is the Lame Duck NJ Nets would play in Newark for the next 2 seasons and then head off to Brooklyn.

Luckily, a loophole to bail out of this asinine deal came up when it was decided to table the discussions until the new Governor takes office in January! But without cooler heads prevailing, it would have meant that not only do Nets fans have to pay for tickets.. but all fans attending events at either arena would have had to cough up 3 bucks to allow the worst team in the NBA the privilege to play in a nicer arena! How crazy is that?

My solution: The Nets are so awful… send them packing right now.. If they want to play in Brooklyn… send them there for their next home games and all the games thereafter! If the Cincinnati college football coach had to leave immediately after taking the Notre Dame job, then let the Nets play at Brooklyn College! At least Brooklyn fans can get the chance to start to watch the Nets develop into a team that is not mathematically eliminated from the playoff race by Christmas!.

JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: We New Jerseyans expect our teams to be loyal to us! And the day we see our lovable Gang of 6 plus Vinnie head to Nathan’s and Coney Island instead of Seaside… then they should get the boot too!


THE GOLDMAN BRAZIL CUSTODY SITUATION

This past week’s episode also featured Snooki’s mom… a rather non descript woman who really wasn’t outrageous like her daughter… She just struck me as a nice lady, and as Snooki’s mom.. a very patient lady. The two hung out together and after she left you realized that Snooki is quite immature because she was near tears after her mom drove off. It was only 2 wks since they saw each other!! Didn’t she ever go to sleep away camp??

This week in the news we also saw that poor David Goldman is again at odds with that evil Brazilian family that stole his son. He hopped on a plane to rightfully claim his child from those kidnappers after the Brazilian Supreme Court ruled in his favor, but once again those corrupt bastards filed an appeal and again deprived the boy of being where he belongs. If his mother was still alive, one could understand keeping him down there.. but she kidnapped the kid, took him to Brazil and then punched her one way ticket to Hell when she died during childbirth. God works in mysterious ways.

JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: See how happy Snooki is when is with her mom. Kids belong with their parents!

THE WILLIAMSBURG BIKE PATH SITUATION

Bicylcists had their bike lanes removed in the ultra religious area of Williamsburg. Rumor has it that the religious Jewish community is upset because the female bikers are scantily dressed, but publicly the Chusids say the bike lanes run right past school bus stops putting the little pishers right in the way of the bicylcists. Saturday, a group of female bikers decided to hold a protest – topless as the chusids walked quickly to and from the synagogue!

JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: If Snooki can go to a club and do back flips in a mini skirt that showed too many details about her thong – then I guess anything is possible!


A CHRISTMAS STORY ON TBS MARATHON SITUATION

Next Thursday Night is 24 hours of A Christmas Story… I already plan to watch next week’s Jersey Shore with regular pronouncements of “Snookie… she must be Italian!”. And again we will see Ralphie get his mouth washed out with soap for cursing and see his incredible violent attack on the school bully Scut Farkus!

JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: If you wanted to see cursing and violence,… you may have watched the last five minutes of Jersey Shore. That was when we saw the much heralded but blacked out scene where Snooki was punched in the face by a drunk guy at a bar. MTV aired domestic violence disclaimers at the end of the show.

It is really unfortunate how rampant violence is getting. All of these people who want to be “reality stars” see the shenanigans on The Jerry Springer Show. Even though I am convinced it is almost entirely all staged, why is it acceptable that Springer Guests resort to violence to hash out their problems as a source of entertainment?

Take a lesson from Snooki.. there is no place for that type of behavior. During the Monk finale when Monk was poisoned, the doctor told him the poison will cause vomiting… and then death! Monk was very upset to hear he would be vomiting. In the preview for the next Jersey Shore episode - we see Snooki immediately after she is assaulted… and her first concern – “Did I crack a tooth?”

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week Pumpy AND Unbiased Giants fan dropped to .500. Pumpy goes into next week all even at 7-7. This week in honor of Rutgers playing in the St. Petersburg Bowl, we go to Miami where the Dolphins are in Tennesee where the Titans are 3 point faves. Sayeth the Pump: “I decided to work out (like The Situation) and I lost weight so now I can Tighten my belt… so take The Titans!”

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:

Last week we went 1-2 to even things up at 21-21.

Giants 3 faves over WASHINGTON – The Giants need to win 1 more than Dallas the next 3 wks to make the playoffs. I usually go with the home dogs on Monday Night.. but this week I will make an exception.

Minnesota 9 faves over CAROLINA– The Giants final 2 opponents face each other Sunday - if the Vikings win the next 2 they will bench their starters for most of Game 16 which could very well be a huge game for the Giants!

49ers 8 ½ doggies over PHILADELPHIA – Time for the Eagles to come back to Earth.

Welcome to New Jersey Part II

Happy Hannukah everybody!

Time for a recap of the Week in NJ… first the latest on the Gay Marriage Issue.. followed by the latest news from the best new show on TV… “Jersey Shore”

Gay “Marriage” is one on of those topics that I really am not that passionate about… yet I am writing about it today because I need to honor my commitment to turn out a column each week in the Fall to go along with the Pumpstradamus football picks.

This weeks update on Gay Marriage in NJ: Lame duck Governor Jon Corzine supports it…. Incoming Republican savior Chris Christie says he will veto it. I am not quite sure why Gay Marriage has become such a hot topic for the Republicans. The vote that was scheduled for last week was bounced from the State Senate and instead will be moved over to the State Assembly.

OK now time to recap the 2nd episode of “Jersey Shore”?

I mean, c’mon I may be in my very very late 30s but I just find the show very entertaining. It’s a reality show just for us Joiseyans. And although I am sympathetic to Italian Americans who take offense to the characters on this show… I think most people realize that the Guidos and Guidettes on this show are not truly representative of the typical younger generation of Italian Americans… remember that point, I will tie that in to gay marriage later in this column!

Thursday’s episode further showed evidence that if this was the strategic game of “Guido Seaside Heights Survivor” Snooki and The Situation would be the final 2 because they seem to have the most common sense among the rest of the crew. . Two of the girls – Jwow and Angelina somehow managed to get dumped by their boyfriends. Jwow had “cheated” last wk when she saw a Guido Shmeckle.. and when she fessed up on the phone to indiscretions.. her boyfriend abruptly hung up. Angelina was so distraught about her break-up that she was too sick to work her shift at the boardwalk t shirt store and subsequently copped a ‘tude to her boss and was fired, and then left the show. The rest of the house yawned,

Later that night at 11pm, I found myself skipping my nightly dose of Chuck and Sue and instead stayed with MTV for the “Jersey Shore” post game show… a panel show with a hostess and 3 cast members. The Situation was there along with Sammi and he used his “sleazy to the point that hes actually likeable” charm to show Sammi she missed the boat by hooking up with a different guy. During Thursday’s episode she went on a miniature golfing date with her boytoy Ronnie, he wore a wacky hat that made him look like Peter Pan.

They then brought out Angelina who continues to have delusions of mediocrity…. She announced that she and that bf are no longer together.. however that bf was also married at the time… even though Angelina used some kind of twisted white trash term to explain that he was separated from his wife. It was also interesting to note that Angelina admitted that she had met the Situation before the show had started taping… the 2 had “hooked up” once before – yet in the premiere they acted as if they had never met… which on 2nd thought could actually make sense… since most of these hookups appear to take place in an alcohol fueled daze.

But one of the wackiest moments involved loveable Snookie… who gets punched in next weeks episode – who brings her female bartender friend back to the hot tub…(still not used by the other female housemates; see last week’s column for my Warren Commission theory about why they don’t use it)… and the next thing you know, Snookie announces she feels like making out with someone and starts slobbering with her girl friend!

And then I started to wonder if this would change my mind about Gay Marriage.

And no – I won’t. I agree with Washington State’s “anything but” vote last November, but my issue with Gay Marriage is solely based on one reason – and that is the definition of the word “marriage”…Keep in mind I am more than 100% supportive of gay partners getting all of the legal benefits that a heterosexual couple is entitled to… although that does open a can of worms for straight couples who live together and can’t get those benefits.

The only thing with me.. is the word is the word… men can’t be “pregnant”… despite what that one loony kazoonie pregnant guy says… When it comes to math – numbers are black and white with no gray area. Language is a little different.. there is a gray area.. but if the definition of “marriage” is a union between a man and a woman… I don’t know how a same sex couple can be married to each other.

I think its also important to note the protests are being conducted by nutjobs living in the past who protest gay marriage because they think its an immoral lifestyle. Because even though gay sex is not my type of thing, many other things are not my type of thing such as voting for George Bush, chopped liver and going to the ballet. But who am I to say that others cant participate in an activity that isn’t “my type of thing”?

The Hasidic Jews who have been protesting gay marriage are attracting a lot of attention on this topic too… as has the Catholic Church. I think the chusids should have spent time protesting outside screenings of “Trembling Before God”… that movie that portrayed their anti gay stance and made them look a lot worse than the homosexual “sinners” they protest against. I think its time for people to accept that the concept of accepting homosexuals is here to stay.

And the one argument that is tough to debate is people who don’t want gays showing public displays of affection. We live in a society where its perfectly normal to see a straight couple holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek. I don’t want to see anybody doing more than that in public, yet how do you answer parents of confused young kids who witness 2 men or 2 women holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek.

And ultimately NJ will go like every other state. The politicians want the gay vote so they will vote for it… but ultimately once it goes on the ballot, the voters will probably end up rejecting it just like every other state. But most of us are not voting that way because we are the “anti gay” fringe… we are the anti gay ‘marriage“ group.

And like the Italian Americans who are annoyed with “Jersey Shore”, I think its important to differentiate those of us voting no on the language terms from those people who are anti Gay for some bizarre antiquated moral reason. We find ourselves in the same battle like the Italian Americans who don’t want to be compared to the wacky 5 on “Jersey Shore”

And I say 5 because Angelina is gone leaving 7 in that house, and I still think that “The Situation” and Snooki have brains that are loaded with common sense. If you saw the premiere episode, you saw how she misunderstood her roomies attacks on skanky girls as being a direct attack on her… even though that conversation had NOTHING to do with her. Was this paranoia… or a misunderstanding typical for a Three’s Company episode?? Incidentally one blogger described The Situation as Don Knotts with a 6 pack!

Actually Snooki is incredibly paranoid and insecure. She isn’t dumb… she just has some type of mental illness!. And her insecurity is as big as The Situations bizarre sense of self confidence. But just because she is paranoid and insecure doesn’t necessarily make her a dummy… unless she starts protesting that homosexuals are immoral people!


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK:

Pumpy improved to 7-6 with his incredible prediction of Miami over the Patriots. This week, with all this talk about gay marriage and "Jersey Shore"... Jersey is where we go as the New York Jets are 3 point road faves over Tampa Bay: Sayeth the Pump: "Take the bucs because between 2 kids and a new house - I need a lot of bucks!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:

Last week we went 1-2 to drop to 20-19... and like Pumpy we go into week 14 1 game over .500.

GIANTS 1 fave over The Eagles - The Cowgirls fans are also rooting for the Giants this week.. but oddly there is a playoff possibility where an Eagle division win and a Giant wild card tie with Dallas would knock Dallas out of the post season. Nonetheless, I'm picking the Giants!

San Diego 3 doggies over DALLAS - The Chargers have been hot with a streak that started against The Giants.. a game we all remember with dread!

BEARS 3 doggies over Green Bay - Then again, Packers with the wild card, and Giants and Eagles getting in is also a nice scenario... this week take da bears!


CLIP OF THE WEEK: I like Neil Diamond... and amazingly he has remade The Adam Sandler Hannukah Song! Happy Hannukah!

Welcome To New Jersey: The “Situation” State

I just watched the finale of Monk and I see they left the door open for a future Monk Movie. I can see it now – Randy calls Monk to come to NJ because Sharona got a job on the MTV Reality show “Jersey Shore” and he is worried that she is cheating on him. Hilarity ensues when Monk goes undercover to the beach house in Seaside and slowly eases his way into the hot tub filled with Guidettes that the House Guidos picked up at a local bar,

Just when I thought I was going to do a column about Tiger Woods’ marriage being as shaky as a Nets Season Ticket salesman’s job security…. I came across the greatest thing I have seen on Television since Danny Duberstein gave pep talks to Groats Disease sufferers – the premiere of the new MTV show “Jersey Shore”.

I really don’t know where to start – on the one hand you have the biggest joke in New Jersey… and then on the other hand I could talk about the other topic…. The biggest joke in New Jersey! Three years ago I went through a phase where I started watching all the crazy reality shows on MTV… I blogged about that here on NWOW back on August 4, 2006 where I shot the average demographic age of the MTV viewer through the roof.. I just reread that column for the first time in awhile, and it was interesting to note that during the summer of ’06 I got so fed up with cable coverage of the problems in the Middle East (along with idiot liberal Jews more concerned with giving Mel Gibson a 2nd chance than the wellbeing of heroic Israeli soldiers who were taken captive) that I started to watch MTV reality shows.

That column was actually about MTV’s 25th anniversary in 2006 and I talked about the dating show “Next”… There was also a dating show where the parents watched videos of their kids dates called Parental Control… along with a pretty neat “inspirational” – type show called “Why Cant I be You?” hosted by a guy named Nick Zano who I thought dropped off the face of the Earth until I discovered that he plays Josh on Cougar Town.

We are also home to The NJ Nets whose 0-18 start was the focal point of the sports universe.. but after starting a 1 game winning streak Friday Night, the 1-18 record gives them a little break from critical scrutiny. Keep in mind that now that they have 1 win they can realize that they are already 6 ½ games out a of a playoff spot.

The NJ Nets may go down as the worst team in NBA history. Just the events of the last week show how horrific the situation has gotten. Sunday they fired the coach.. actually I should say he was let out of his misery. They then proceeded to tie the 0-17 record by losing to the Lakers in LA. A day or so later they appointed Kiki Vandeghwe as “interim coach”… the ownership situation is so uncertain at the moment that nobody gets a long term contract. And if you caught the Star Ledger coverage of the story… Vandeweghe was pretty much forced into the job by the team’s President…

Then on the night that Jason Kidd came home, the Nets set the all time record at 0-18. And even though they will not end up winless like last year’s winless Detroit Lions 0-16 record, the fact is that this may be the biggest disaster in sports history… yet the team has the audacity to ask people to PAY FOR TICKETS! What a nerve!

The irony about Kidd is that that trade was actually a pretty good one for the Nets.. they unloaded his contract a few years ago after he told the team he wanted to get out and got a pretty good player in return- Devin Harris. However, the Nets front office looked at the Kidd trade not as a way to get good young talent.. but instead as an opportunity to dump their good players. They subsequently traded away Richard Jefferson and Vince Carter and got almost nothing in return. Nothing. But they saved a lot of money so instead of paying players, the disgraced lameduck owner Bruce Ratner can pay his lawyers to help him boot out local residents from their Brooklyn homes through eminent domain so he can build his sports complex that will make him richer.

I remember how MLB kicked out George Steinbrenner in the early 1990s when he got mixed up with some monkey business. Maybe NBA commissioner David Stern should boot out Ratner too… and do it soon because New Jersey Nets basketball should not be charging "fans" to watch a very substandard product with no hope for improvement until they move out of state.

And speaking of the early 1990s…I remember the post collegiate years of trips to the Jersey Shore and the “people watching” I used to do there. Now almost 20 years later, its good to see that the next generation is still pretty much the same as evidenced by Thursday Night’s premiere of “Jersey Shore” on MTV,

This is one of those reality shows that is not a competition or a life improvement … its just watching 8 goofballs who don’t know each other thrown together in one house. Its not an unusual sequence. But when you take 8 self proclaimed guidos and guidettes and toss them in a house in Seaside… and then get a very slick video editor… you know you have something special.

The premiere aired Thursday night and has been airing repeatedly ever since. Once you start watching this … you start to Thank God that you it is not an eclipse because you can’t just look away. Of the 8, a few got more airtime than the others… with the standouts being a small girl named Nicole aka Snooki, a guy nicknamed “The Situation” and a girl whose nickname is based on Ms Lopez and calls herself JWow… you might know her cousin the ShamWow. Theres also a guy who proudly announces he is a college graduate and demonstrates his 4 yrs of higher education by showcasing his excellent skills as a fist pumper. And then there is Sammi.. a Guidette who is also the only NJ resident on the show.

We meet all 8 in the premiere 2 hr episode – and of course its interspersed with well edited “talk to the camera” segments where each character moves the story along talking about what is going on… as their name appears on screen… while grainy Jersey Shore footage rolls in the background. The 8 get to live at the house, but have to work for their landlord.. a guy named Danny who owns a Boardwalk T Shirt store.

Two of the women have boyfriends… yet one proclaims that she has officially cheated when she catches a glimpse of a Guido shmeckle. Another girl with a boyfriend rips a t shirt off one of the guys and then leaves the club with the shirt leaving him shirtless (Not a bad idea when you work at a t shirt store)… Instead she decides to go eat ham and drink water which might really mean something else.. but then again what do I know?

But the heart and soul of the premiere is “The Situation”…. A man who announces that he will hook up with Sammi… when he decides they will. The 2nd night when they went clubbing… (one of the housemates caught pinkeye and couldn’t get a replacement for the pm shift at the store because everybody else had to “get ready”: for their evening activities.. even though the T shirt store closes 2 hrs before the scheduled departure time)… “The Situation” was making his move only to see her walk away from him and start making out with another Guido cast member instead. Of course a fight later breaks out. By the way, you gotta see the shirt this girl wore to this club!

But the other thing I find interesting is how these girls talk about their boyfriends but get ticked off when the guys bring girls back to the house.. which is not too difficult when you have a camera crew following you around. We also catch on to Nicole Snooki’s intense paranoia when she hears the other girls criticizing the “whores and skanks” and Nicole thinks they are talking about her!

But the funniest thing is when those female guests go into the Jacuzzi with the Guidos and proceed to remove clothing. The female housemates (Not Nicole who is either puking or with a guy who is puking) start heckling the girls in the hot tub. But if they have boyfriends… why would they care so much? And then it occurs to me… The Guidettes on “Jersey Shore” (except Nicole)… never ever go in the hot tub probably because they are so worried about the germ killing abilities of the chemicals in their Jacuzzi that they think that those one night stand chics are leaving some kind of diseased deposits in the Jacuzzi water.

Or maybe they just watch a lot of Monk?


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK:

Last week Pumpy won to get back to .500 at 6-6. This week we go to Florida where Tiger Woods is doing some major damage control after he was caught doing some hocus McPocus. The Dolphins are (only) 3 point home doggies to The Patriots. Sayeth The Pump: “I just went to get a Shark tattoo, but instead they gave me a Dolphin,… Oh wait. That wasn’t me.. I saw that in a commercial… Take The Dolphins!


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:

Last week we went 2-1 to improve to 19-17.

GIANTS 2 doggies over Dallas – A must win if the Giants want to play in the post season. They are still alive if they lose, but they would need A LOT of help.

ATLANTA 5 ½ doggies over Philadelphia – That Eagles comeback over Washington last week was a tough blow for Giants fans…

Baltimore 3 doggies over GREEN BAY – The Ravens are coming off a good win… of course that logic hopefully won’t apply to the Eagles.

TV Sort of Quarterly Report - Part II

Happy Thanksgiving!!

As I prepared this column a week ago, I was about to write about how aside from the last season of Monk on Fridays, there are only 2 good nights of TV – but last Wednesday as I got ready to watch Law and Order SVU – I saw a promo on ABC for the new show Modern Family that featured an appearance by Elizabeth Banks! Well homina homina homina.. I have been a fan of hers since she was in The 40 Year Old Virgin hot tub scene. I decided to skip L and O and watch Banks instead, so now I guess I will slightly amend my opinion about TV only having 2 good nights.

After stumbling into the Elizabeth Banks episode – I actually liked Modern Family. Since I am new to the show I am not as familiar with the characters like the tv columnists who have press releases to held id the different characters on these ensemble shows. The Banks character was friends with 2 gay guys who recently adopted a baby. The show is about a big extended family and I have no idea who these people are just yet, except the patriarch is Ed O’Neill from Married With Children and he apparently married a much younger woman. (I only saw 2 episodes folks). He is quite sharp and easily prevents his teenage granddaughters attempts to leave a family dinner to hang out with her boyfriend. Another character who I think was Ed’s daughter gets her husband a “thoughtful” birthday present when she gets a personalized performance from a member of her husband’s favorite 80s band… Spandau Ballet. Only it turns out the husband never liked Spandau Ballet and didn't even know any of their songs. While watching the episode, I thought it really was the guy from SB... but I later found out it was actually actor Ed Norton.

The other new show is the much hyped Cougar Town. That show was ok but one of the episodes featured a woman played by Rachael Harris playing exactly the same kind of character she played in The Hangover.. the bitchy wife! The characters have different names.. but they are exactly the same!! It seems like the actress is getting typecast… Its too early to tell if I will stay with this one.. again there are a lot of characters and I’m still trying to figure out who’s who.

This season I seem to have stopped watching longtime favorites Heroes and Desperate Housewives and have replaced them with a comedy heavy lineup. I also like that new Shark Tank show but it seems to be off the air now, replaced by V which I watched religiously when it was on NBC in the 80s.. but I have not caught the new version yet.


SUNDAYS WITH SETH AND LARRY

Hands down the funniest night on Television.. and actually it might be TOO funny.

Sundays with Seth – What the heck is in Seth MacFarlane’s DNA and what made him so brilliant?

2 weeks ago it was hour after hour of Seth. Not only his triple header of Cleveland Show, Family Guy and American Dad but he also had a variety show one night that was quite funny too. Clips of Family Guy were worked into the show and it was quite odd to see the show with a laugh track as the variety show’s audience was laughing with delight. The bit about Marlee Martlin’s voice was pretty tacky but then again is that really such a shock that a Seth MacFarlane production would be tacky?

I really can only handle 2 episodes of Sundays with Seth in one setting because I still need to save some yuks for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Therefore, I haven’t really started to watch Cleveland, but even a glance here and there is getting me hooked. The Thanksgiving episode with Auntie Mama last week was hilarious and made me realize that the transvestite character modeled after Mama on What’s Happening is part of Seth’s motivation to create this show. He grew up watching all the black sitcoms and really had no forum to spoof them on his other cartoon shows. So he did what everyone else does who has 2 cartoons. He created a 3rd. He also had a funny episode a couple of weeks ago when his step daughter was supposed to take a chastity vow.. but his son did so instead which greatly upset Cleveland and pointed out the hypocrisy that sexually active teenage boys and girls have a double standard. Maybe Adam Lambert is on to something.

Family Guy and American Dad continue to roll around with typical hysterics. The concept of Stuie cloning himself and calling his clone Bitch Stuie was priceless… including his little homoerotic bathtub time with his over-eager-to-please clone. After awhile the episodes get all mixed up in my brain and I would probably have to consult tvsquad to remember what last week’s episode was about. Cant they just alternate American Dad with Cleveland Show to prevent Seth overload? Then again, some nights AD is the best of the 3 shows. Last week’s show with Stan falling in love with a band (which I later found out was a real band - after Spandau Ballet, I thought it was all fake!) was quite amusing as he swooned over them like a lovestruck teen.

Oh that’s right, the episode showed Quagmire fessing up to Brian about why he doesn’t like him… it sounded like something from Festivus.

And speaking of which…

Curb Your Enthusiasm… possibly the best show on TV this season, and Larry David has a chance to give the person who created Twilight a run for the money for Entertainment Weekly’s Entertainer of the Year.

The season picked up where last year’s left off… as Larry (the man who inspired George on Seinfeld) hooked up with Loretta Black at the end of last season. The new season starts, and Black has cancer, and Larry wants out.. so he figures out a way to get her out of his house and decides to try to win his ex wife Cheryl back which became the theme of the season. And when Cheryl mentioned that she was happy when Larry worked on the Seinfeld show because he had “something to do”…. The wheels started turning and the Seinfeld reunion concept was born!

The show hit the jackpot the last 2 weeks with the final 2 episodes of the season and possibly the series. All 4 regulars returned to shoot the “reunion special” along with a few side characters such as Newman .. Incidentally, this reunion storyline has motivated me to start watching the Channel 5 reruns again.

A week ago Sunday “The Table Read” episode proved to be the funniest episode of a TV show since the last Newhart. A side story involving “Michael Richard”s concerns about the fictitious Groats Disease put Larry in a quandary. “Richards” worries were affecting his acting, so Larry decides to have an acquaintance, Groats survivor Danny Duberstein talk to him to calm him down. Only it turns out that unbeknownst to David, Duberstein died of the disease two months earlier. So who does he turn to? Leon. And as part of the plot Leon… a black man about to meet “Michael Richards” after the real Richards racist rant at a comedy club… was forced to impersonate Jewish accountant Danny Duberstein.

And while all of us were licking our chops about Leon confronting “Richards”… Leon while watching on the set points out how totally clueless he is about the Seinfeld characters and when Newman walks in to the angry “Hello Newman”, Leon looks at Larry offstage and says…”Who is that funny fat bastard?”

And the “Richards – Fake Duberstein” confrontation… turns out to be not about black anger towards Richards rant.. but instead was a showcase for JB Smoove to earn the Best Comedy Actor Emmy. The improvised scene between the 2 was absolutely hysterical with Duberstein announcing he had 3 bar mitzvahs because he has to recharge it every 13 years.

The only drawback to the episode was when Marty Funkhouser meets Jerry Seinfeld and proceeds to tell him a funny joke that was really not in character to him… but is exactly what Super Dave Osborne would have done. Both characters are played by the same actor, but it seemed out of place. Kind of like when Ted Knight appeared on The Love Boat… he didn’t ask Captain Stubing how Mary and Lou were doing??

And even though the finale was not quite as funny, it was still pretty pretty good with Larry almost sabotaging his entire show when he and “Jason Alexander” get into a bit of a snit. Jason quits and Larry decides to play George which means he was playing himself – sort of. “Jerry” was also funny and fired off a few classic zingers… almost as if he knew that he had to go the extra mile because JB Smoove was not appearing in this episode.

Ultimately the season wraps up with a satisfying ending and personally, I can’t wait for the DVD to come out.. I think the last 2 shows looped together would make a hysterical episode..


MONDAY SITCOMS ON CBS

CBS tweaked its lineup this season… How I Met Your Mother is now on at 8pm and it continues to try to be the follow up ensemble to the Seinfeld/Friends generation. Two and a Half Men may be a one joke sitcom, but it continues to chug along. But by far the best comedy of the night – The Big Bang Theory. Now that certain types of social awkwardness are referred to as Assbergers… it seems that Sheldon is not just goofy.. but has been diagnosed. His roommate Leonard might be bizarrely dating the beautiful neighbor Penny, but the Sheldon - Penny acting chemistry is quite remarkable,

Last season the seeds were planted – no pun intended – when she got Sheldon a napkin used by Leonard Nimoy. Geek heaven! But the episode a week ago was classic when she fell in the shower and needed Sheldon to pull her out naked and get her to a hospital. There are not a lot of comedy teams out there that are as funny as these two, and I never realized Kaley Cuoco had the potential to be such a great straight man.

Many might question if Sheldon is straight after that episode although he admitted to peeking when she made him put her clothes on with his eyes closed so he could take her to the hospital to treat her injured arm. She also asked him not to put her panties on… and instead went commando in skimpy shorts which didn’t seem to phase Sheldon as it would the average heterosexual man in that situation. Instead, he lectured her on the importance of wearing clean underwear just in case she was in an accident and needed to go to the Emergency Room.... even though she was actually on her way to the Emergency Room!



PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK- Pumpy is under .500 after last weeks loss and is now 5-6. This week in honor of Thanksgiving we go to New England where the Patriots are on the road against the unbeaten Saints which could be a very exciting Monday Night Game. The Saints are 3 point faves. Sayeth The Pump:

“Lets' take the saints, because I'm a big Louis Armstrong fan and I like his rendition of "When The Saints Go Marching In"

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK

Not too thrilled with the Thanksgiving Game and the early blogging schedule. Last week the hot streak continued at 2-1 for a season to date record of 17-16.

DENVER 6 ½ doggies over The Giants – I know the Broncos have played crummy lately but has anyone seen the Giants lately? And Nets announcer (0-15 already this young season) Chris Carrino is calling the game on the radio and I predict he will call his first and only win for 2009! But they won’t cover.

Raiders 13 ½ doggies over DALLAS – Huge spread that the Cowboys will not cover. I was more interested in today's early game but it kicks off just one hour after my 11:30 posting.. so lets take the late game instead. If both Dallas and Denver win, the Giants division hopes will be finished.

Washington 9 doggies over THE EAGLES – The Skins have been somewhat decent these last few weeks.

TV Sort of Quarterly Report - Part I: The NBA

This year we scrapped the long time tradition of a “regular” quarterly TV report, instead opting to chime in on a semi regular non organized basis about stuff related to the boob tube. And now that the World Series is over, it’s time for my fall season to start with a look at some trends for this season. And we start with Part I... What I Won’t Watch This Year… and it is a list of 1 .

WHAT I WON’T WATCH

The New Jersey Nets!! What a disgrace they are.. not only because their record is 0-13, but because Commissioner David Stern allowed this situation to develop.

Several years back, the Nets were actually a pretty decent team… making it to the finals twice. They had 3 solid stars in Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson. But when Bruce Ratner got his grubby paws on the franchise, it slowly returned to its embarrassing status as the joke the franchise used to be in the pre-Jason Kidd era. All this guy wanted to do was make a ton of money by building his little dream complex in Brooklyn,.. building an arena for the Nets and knocking out some homes through eminent domain in the process. But as the project gets closer to the end of the year “Crap or get off the toilet” deadline, it seems that the Nets are getting lost in the shuffle in this disaster.

A small powerful group in Brooklyn is flexing its muscles to keep the Nets from moving there, and while Ratner has been addressing those issues, he has been doing his best impression as Nero… because as he fiddles, the Nets burn. The team is the biggest joke in the NBA and appears incapable of winning a game. They suck so bad that they even blew a huge lead to Minnesota on Opening Night only to lose at the buzzer… and Minnesota has lost every game ever since.

Its obvious Bruce doesn’t give a crap about the Nets, and his real estate deal might end up going through without the new basketball arena. He already has a buyer for the team, but its immediate future will be determined soon when the decision is made if it is Brooklyn bound. This presents an interesting dilemma. The team has gone down the toilet during this intermediate status… but if they end up moving, are they just going to let the team lose every single game till they move in a couple of years? Why would any local fan want to pay to watch a lame duck team at the Meadowlands Arena if they know that the team is moving away in a couple of years??

But if the Brooklyn deal falls through… and the eminent domain opponents are doing their best to keep Ranter’s grubby money hungry paws off these properties… THEN, the team should make a commitment to staying in NJ and do something.. either a quick change of ownership to clear away the stench of Ratner… and announce a firm commitment to rebuild the franchise as quickly as possible… even if it means the team is going to head south to the Prudential Center in Newark.

But either way, this situation cannot continue, and I’m curious as to why Commissioner Stern has not stepped in to help fix this mess.

And as the Nets inch closer towards the most pathetic start in NBA history… 0-17 held by Miami and The Clippers… LA's 2nd class citizen at the Staples Center has its own bizarre controversy going on with their announcing team.

It seems that long time announcers Ralph Lawler and Mike Smith were calling the game the other night when the Memphis backup center Hamed Haddidi was brought into the game. Haddidi is the first ever Iranian player in the NBA and as Lawler and Smith discussed this, an irate caller placed an angry call to Fox Sports about the exchange (and we have the transcript) and among his complaints about this non issue were the announcers mispronounced the country by calling it Eye-ran instead of the way Christina Ammanpour pronounces it.

Sayeth the Lawler and The Smith (from the LA Times)


Smith: “Look who’s in.”

Lawler: “Hamed Haddadi. Where’s he from?”

Smith: “He’s the first Iranian to play in the NBA.” (Smith pronounced Iranian as “Eye-ranian,” a pronunciation that offended the viewer who complained.)

Lawler: “There aren’t any Iranian players in the NBA,” repeating Smith’s mispronunciation.

Smith: “He’s the only one.”

Lawler: “He’s from Iran?”

Smith: “I guess so.”

Lawler: “That Iran?”

Smith: Yes.

Lawler: “The real Iran?”

Smith: “Yes.”

Lawler: “Wow. Haddadi – that’s H-A-D-D-A-D-I.”

Smith: “You’re sure it’s not Borat’s older brother?”

Smith: “If they ever make a movie about Haddadi, I’m going to get Sacha Baron Cohen to play the part.”

Lawler: “Here’s Haddadi. Nice little back-door pass. I guess those Iranians can pass the ball.”

Smith: “Especially the post players.

Lawler: “I don’t know about their guards.”


So lets get this straight… Iran is a country that wants to nuke Israel (and the Palestinians who live there too!), yet 2 announcers get into trouble for mispronouncing it?? How absurd is that? I think the political correctness has gone too far.. and Im surprised the Post’s Phil Mushnick hasn’t written about this…(although maybe he has?) Mushnick always points out how Jay-Z the Nets part owner has songs out there that use the N-word… but that’s ok? But mispronounce Iran? Suspension!!

What the heck is going on David Stern??

Stay tuned for Wednesday: Part II of the TV Quarterly Report… We’re posting early to get the Giants and Cowboys picks in!!

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy and UGF ran the table last wk and both are .500. This week Pumpy tries to improve his .500 record and since Oprah announced she is gonna end her show, for this week’s game we go to Chicago where the Bears are 3 point home doggies to the Eagles. Sayeth the Pump:

"I watched Oprah last week when she had the woman from Connecticut who was attacked by the monkey. But when she showed her face I couldn't "bare" to watch... so take the Bears!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We’re all evened up at 15-15 after last week’s 3-0… Now time to build up a winning streak.

Atlanta 6 ½ doggies over GIANTS – The ol’ cop out “The Giants will win but not cover” pick.. but do the Giants deserve a TD advantage after a 4 game losing streak?

Washington 11 doggies over DALLAS – Maybe last week’s results were an omen??

CHICAGO 3 doggies over Philadelphia – The Sunday Night game airing opposite Sunday’s with Seth and the Curb Your Enthusiasm Sunday Finale?? I ain’t watching this one unless Danny Duberstein and Michael Richards are the guest announcers talking about Peaches!

Willis and The Liberals

As much as everyone thinks the microblogging on Facebook and Twitter are leading to the demise of regular blogging… sometimes you see something on a Facebook status update that sparks an idea for an entire column.

Two weeks ago NWOW presented an idea for government health insurance funding issues by proposing it be designed as a tax deductible tax so those of us who itemize our tax returns can get something out of it by writing off the tax. Last Saturday Night, the health bill moved closer to reality when the House of Representatives passed its version and now it is off to the US Senate.

I already see Facebook emails from people concerned about the Senate version keeping a provision involving a $750 excise tax imposed on American citizens living outside the USA. This does not exist in the House version, but many are concerned that if it is included in the Senate version and becomes part of the law, that many Americans living overseas who get insurance there, will still have to pay into this program too. This affects a lot of Americans who made Aliya and relocated to Israel but retained their American citizenship. I guess it probably makes more sense that the bill applies to American “residents” and not citizens.

Of course the new benefits exclude illegal immigrants. And I guess we won’t be hearing as much about this topic on CNN now that Lou Dobbs has left the network. Is he starting a new space website just like the last time he bolted away from CNN? However, you can call me a liberal on this particular issue, but I disagree about barring illegals from getting car insurance. Talk to somebody whose car got smacked by an illegal and you will understand the logic on this one. What happens if an illegal immigrant hits you? How are you supposed to pay for the repairs? Who pays your damages if your car gets totaled?

Anyway, I was reading FB on Sunday morning after the House vote, and I was mortified to see that a friend of mine who I will call Willis had posted a status update along the lines of ….”Health Care Reform 1, Women’s Reproductive Rights 0”… leading me to loudly proclaim…”Whatchu talking about Willis?” Indeed his friends comments started to pile on and virtually all of them were agreeing with him!

As it turned out, there was a bit of a misunderstanding among some of Willis’s friends whether the House version allowed government funding for abortions for women who are rape or incest victims or whose lives are in danger. I decided to chime in and correct the assumption that all abortions were banned by the health bill. One woman subsequently posted that that it’s a good thing she never plans to hook up with a man because it is unlikely she will ever get pregnant and need an abortion. .

At that point, Willis came up with his 2nd “Watcha talking about Willis” moment! Sayeth The Willis: "What happens if she becomes artificially inseminated and then changes her mind?"

And its moments like this that make me realize that normal thinking people like myself… non liberal Democrats… are really the only sane people left in this world! How crazy is that scenario that an “I changed my mind” abortion should be paid for by anybody other than the mind changer? Taxpayers should be paying for that?? If the fetus was prescreened for some illness, it’s understandable… but the Willis “oh I changed my mind” scenario? Of course, there are situations involving “poor people” who can’t afford an abortion. Hopefully those who are forced to keep those babies will have provisions in this bill for prenatal care and arrangements after the baby is born that it gets medical care or an adoptive home.

And its too bad that just when the Republicans start to move to the center and think like normal Democrats like myself, their party then decides to move farther to the extreme right. Why else was a no name like Sarah Palin on the 2008 GOP ticket instead of somebody more experienced like Rudy Giuliani? Oh yeah, Rudy is pro choice… just like a lot of decent Republicans like former NJ Governor Christie Todd Whitman. But the Republicans want to move further away from the normal Democrats while the liberals wrongly assume that their branch of the Democratic party is more representative of how my peeps think.

Even this week, when the Washington sniper was executed… that was an event that brought the Democrats and Republicans together. I am against the death penalty but when it comes to certain cases, its impossible to feel sympathetic towards somebody like John Muhammad or Timothy McVeigh. Yet there was a fringe of law students who were upset about the Muhammad execution because they felt he didn’t have enough time to prepare his appeal! Hellooooooooo.. he was arrested in 2002.. that’s plenty of time to figure out an appeal!

And its hard to tell if Willis was serious or just being sarcastic. But one thing my fellow pro choicers need to accept is that the pro lifers are entitled to their opinion, and we need to respect them even though we think they are wrong. And as long as the Pro Lifers don’t shove it down my throat… (or shoot abortion doctors) they are entitled to disagree with me. I really think that most Republicans are moving towards the middle of the road on this issue and are not represented by the crazy extremists in that party… just as I feel that the liberals are not the face of the Democrats!

But the Liberals are not the only ones who embrace bizarre causes…The Republicans do it too. Carrie Prejean was a no name beauty pageant contestant who was asked an irrelevant (to the pageant) question by the no talent Perez Hilton about gay marriage. She answered the question honestly and now that she has been dethroned for an “unrelated” reason, she is the poster child for the future Young Republicans… She appeared on Larry King the other night… got a little flustered by the line of questions… and then threatened to walk off the show AND claimed Larry broke a pre interview deal by allowing a live phone caller to call in…(who by the way had a heckuva tough question that never got answered). I have watched his TV show and listened to his radio show for years and I never ever heard a guest say Larry King violated a no live phone call rule… but every time the not so slick Prejean is criticized on a non Fox News show, the Republicans blame the liberal media. I don’t care that she is against gay marriage (I have a similar opinion covered in last week’s column), but just because nutjobs criticize her does not mean that this 22 year old beauty queen is the future hope of Republicans.

Its too bad we live in a society that has so many extreme right wingers who want ALL abortions to be outlawed… including victims of rape and incest and women whose lives are in danger. Its that fringe group that has me on the pro choice team… even though I am not a particular fan of abortion. Nonetheless, as long as woman has the right to choose… that is entirely up to her.. as long as she pays for it. But to have taxpayer money fund certain abortions? I think the liberals are just asking too much.


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week Pumpy improved to 4-5 by accurately picking the Chargers. This week we go to Washington which is a lot safer today now that the Sniper has been executed. The Redskins are home against Denver and are 3 1/2 point doggies. Sayeth the Pump: "I like Red Skin Potato Salad... so take the Redskins!"

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK

Last week we went 2-1 for a year to date record of 12-15. Is this the week that we run the table and reach .500?

GREEN BAY 3 doggies over Dallas - I'm still not accepting that the Cowboys might finish with a better record than the Giants.

SAN DIEGO 1 1/2 faves over The Eagles - Maybe that win last week gave the Chargers some momentum to knock the Eagles down a notch.

CAROLINA 1/2 doggies over Atlanta - If these games all work out, the Giants would come back from the bye week in a much better position to get to the playoffs!

Bloggiversary #4 = A Busy Week for Harold Moskowitz!

Hey next week is 4 years since we launched this wacky blog! Mazel Tov!

Well what a fun week this has been for my fellow Mets fans! I wasn’t paying close attention, but I assume that the media was getting excited about 2010 and a healthy full season of Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltraaaaan… and wondering if David Wright is going to hit more than 10 home runs next season. Whats that??? Nobody’s talking about this… Well if that’s the case please let me know when the Yankee hype is over so I can crawl out of my shell while my Pin Striping Yankee fan Trophy Wife walks around bellowing.. “Theeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankeeeeeeeeees Win!”.

How does a Met fan write a column about a Yankee parade even though last year’s column about Yankee Stadium was mentioned on other blogs? Here are my observations.

Ed Koch should have worn a warmer coat.

I was rereading the coverage of the Giants parade last year and frankly I don’t know that I can write about the Yankee Parade with as much love and affection. I don’t hate the Yankees.. and I actually was happy for them when they won in 96, 98 and 99. But watching that celebration at Shea at the end of the 2000 season… (and also at the same time being thankful I missed the Game 1 Armando Benitez meltdown due to the celebration of my favorite Jewish Holiday of Simchas Torah), I just don’t get too excited about hearing “Theeeeee Yankeeeeeeeeeees Win!”. In reality, in the post 2000 era, I actually enjoyed that 7 game loss to the Arizona D’backs in the 2001 World Series.

I work from home on Fridays and usually have the TV on in the background.. but when I turned on Channel 9 to get my morning dose of People’s Court…(which next week will feature an episode with the original Judge Wapner) whose NYC taping schedule baffles me.. When does Harvey Levin have time to fly in if he is on the West Coast taping TMZ every day? Anyway, the Wendy Williams Show was on Channel 9 which was when I realized that 5 had started its coverage of the Parade and bumped Wendy over to 9. For those of you who are not in the NY Metropolitan Area- both stations have the same owners and they juggle around their shows and newscasters on a regular basis.

I was a tad disappointed to see at 11 that all the local stations had picked up on the Parade Coverage. I was hoping to catch the Jerry Springer Show… a program whose penultimate segment has to be the wildest 7 minutes on TV. The first 45 minutes of the show feature well acted confrontations between cheating couples who feel compelled to reveal their extra ciriccular indiscretions on the Jerry Springer Show in front of a live audience. Yet when the inevitable fights break out… each performer seems to know exactly where on the stage they need to be for this spontaneous outburst of emotion. Ya gotta like up and coming young actors.

But after 4 or 5 segments of all this emotional drama.. the best part is when the audience starts to chime in… As a homage to the old Phil Donahue show, this is the segment where Jerry walks through the audience microphone in hand and gives audience members a chance to shoot off wisecracks at the guests. As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up watching Hollywood Squares and got a kick out of the quick wisecracks answers shot off by the celebrities when the questions were posed to them by Peter Marshall. Of course as a kid, I never knew that the witty comebacks were rehearsed in advance… I just thought that as kids grow up we develop an ability to have lightning quick comebacks. This is why I’m amazed that these redneck Springer guests can just sit there serenely moments after painful confrontations, and not only listen to these audience attacks.. but respond with witty comebacks with such speed that would make Paul Lynde and George Gobel blush!

And whereas a lot of people have complained that the November World Series ends too late, the cool thing is this parade took place after the Election… which means the politicians weren’t schmoozing as much as usual. I was just rereading the Giants Parade column from last February and I had this to say about our recently defeated Governor Corzine,… And… notice how much has changed politically since that parade which was held on Super Tuesday!

“First of all, I didn't vote for Hillary because she is the NY Junior Senator and she should have been at The Giants Ticker Tape Parade on Tuesday. I know she is campaigning.. but this is an important event... and Governor Spitzer was there as was Senator Schumer. And as for New Jersey's politicians.. why wasn't Governor Corzine at Giants Stadium for the big celebration Tuesday afternoon? Corzine was too busy to attend that event.. but had enough time to go to The Skylark Diner in Edison for a Tuesday Night Hillary Clinton Supporters Party,... just a few short miles away from Route 440 where he is planning to plunk down some toll booths!”

This leads to my 2nd commentary for today… the election results. It looks like Corzine just never quite bonded with New Jersey voters. Anybody who listened to the debates had no business voting for Chris Christie because it was quite clear he was clueless about running the state’s finances.. even though he did an excellent job as a crime fighter and should personally thank young Mr. Dweck of Deal whose snitching out of so many people while his own ass was in such deep trouble gave Christie a great popularity boost.

Actually, Chris Daggett seemed to have a better grasp with his tax ideas…. But ultimately I look back at 4 years ago when I started this blog out of my old condo and was paying a few thousand a year in property taxes and now as we reach the end of his tenure I live in a house and my property taxes are substantially higher…. Actually my house’s property taxes are up by 25% since I moved here 2 ½ years ago... and with declining home values!

A friend of mine who is a Republican Yankee fan was drooling over his twin victories this week, but my fellow Jerseyans who think that those property taxes are going to drop… … really need a reality check if they think that Christie is going to change anything. All he will do is cut services and promise tax cuts, but the local towns will lose aid and will just raise property taxes to keep afloat. Don’t people get it… there really is no such a thing as a tax cut… especially if you can’t run a deficit. So for all those who are orgasmic about the Reagan tax cuts… keep in mind that it led to an inflated deficit which lasted until President Clinton got rid of it only to see 8 years of Bush to just dig us back into yet another hole.

Also… Timmy whose tummy problems were part of the legend of the Giants Super Bowl win…(see the Feb. 2008 archives) asked me how people could vote for Christie after he loaned money to a colleague… many point out that Corzine loaned money to Karen Golding to bail her outta jail after she was arrested for stalking Democratic big macher Joseph Cryan. Lo and behold… as soon as the last vote was counted Golding announced that she wasn’t stalking him but had actually been involved a 3 year affair with him! As former Yankee announcer Mel Allen used to say…”How ‘bout that?”

And finally, regarding gay marriage.. the definition of the word is technically between a man and a woman although Washington State and its Referendum 71 seems to get it right. I have no issue with gay partners being entitled to EVERYTHING a spouse is entitled to…(including a week of hearing Theeeeee Yankeeeeeeees Win!) And Washington State’s Election Day vote for Referendum 71 better known as the “everything but marriage” law makes so much sense, I’m surprised all the states don’t adopt that..

Frankly at this stage.. people voting against allowing benefits for homosexual partners are mostly the anti abortion religious wackos who still live under a rock with other crackpots who think that a gay lifestyle is sinful… aka the Right Wing Republicans who misinterpret a line in Leviticus in the Old Testament. They are the same bunch who knocked Scozzafava out of the House Race in Upstate New York because she is not conservative enough for the Palin era. Don’t these right wingers realize that more gay men mean less abortions? Now if you will excuse me…. Trophy Wife will rewatch the World Series, while I am going to read the first 70 Referendums.

And Harold Moskowitz from the headline? He changed his name and everybody now knows him as…. John Sterling!


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK – His pick of the Giant mess left by the Psychics Club meeting at his house fell short as he dropped to 3-5. This week we go to New York... the home of the Yankees as the last ticker taped team – The NY Giants are 5 point favorites over The Chargers. Sayeth The Pump:

“I just came back from the cell phone kiosk at the mall and bought myself this awesome new charger.. so Go Chargers!”


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Unbiased? I wrote more about the Giants parade in a column about the Yankee parade! Anyway last week we went 1-2 to drop to a very mediocre 10-14. (Last yr after 8 weeks we were 16-8)

San Diego 5 doggies over THE GIANTS – The Giants will win this one by a field goal

EAGLES 3 faves over Dallas – Pick your poison. I dislike the Eagles less.

Arizona 3 doggies over CHICAGO – Green Bay and Atlanta have easy games against Tampa Bay and Washington which means a Chicago win combined with an unspoken of Giant loss would send the Giants to the bye week out of the playoff race!


CLIP OF THE WEEK: As much as I don’t like The Yankees, I admire George Steinbrenner because he pours so much heart and money into his team even though he is nowhere near the wealthiest owner. It’s a bummer that his health is keeping him from enjoying this World Series as much as he did in the past. Here is a clip from Seinfeld.. a show he never appeared on… or did he??

The Subsidized Health Insurance Tax

Well here we are right in the middle of the World Series every Met fan is bored by... Who do we root for? We know that the 2009 World Series is a historical event, yet we watch it not really caring one way or another. It's kind of like when I watch the Soccer World Cup Final... its historical.. but who really cares?


I was just getting ready to write today’s column when I got a call today from a buddy who was quite annoyed about an issue about his company’s health insurance plan. I listened to his situation, but since I am not a lawyer, I really couldn’t do much but listen to him vent… and then at the end of the conversation, I threw in a little plug to check out today’s NWOW column because I was planning to write about the problems that plague us... and the Republicans who make it worse.

I don’t know too much about the issue but I think medical costs would be much lower if malpractice policies were lower and if people were not always suing doctors who mess up for every last dime they can squeeze out. Nonetheless, these are the cards that we have been dealt and it is time to find a solution.

Hillary Clinton took up this issue in the early days of Clinton I but since the Clinton era was followed by 8 years of George Bush, the issue was put aside because this was a topic too complex for President Bush’s limited mental capacity. Now Obama is in the White House and is making health insurance reform the centerpiece of his first year in office.

The "debate" continues whether health insurance is a right that all Americans are entitled to. Many Republicans feel it’s a luxury and many liberals feel that there should be Robin Hoodesque policy to subsidize the poor. Ron Paul was on Larry King’s show last night and said that if the government has no money and mandatory health insurance costs money, then the money will have to be collected from somewhere to finance it. That’s true but people keep crying out "Socialism!" if the government starts running the health insurance show… By the way, socialism really works well on kibbutzim in Israel. And wouldn't we rather have socialism than an aging population that cannot afford to take care of its medical needs??

The rich people of the Republican Party who spend their time drooling over Fox News Channel have a large voting bloc and many of them are fortunate to never have to worry about their health insurance or paying for it. They are lucky enough to work for companies that take care of it for them. And since I am a reasonable Democrat I can understand why they resent that they have to kick in shekels to pay for those who cannot afford it.

But how much of our tax money is allocated to pay the medical bills for those who can’t pay themselves?? And how much less tax money will pay for the federally run Obama health insurance program? And with a new plan in effect how much taxpayer money will go to pay for health insurance? My idea is to call it what it is.. a tax! We can call it the HIT – the Health Insurance Tax… or add an S in front and call it the Subsidized Health Insurance Tax.

If specific HIT money is taken from all of us to pay for health care, the HIT money should then be tax deductible. However the interesting thing is if my poor neighbor has to tap into the HIT fund, then we get to write off the neighbor’s health care costs but not our own. Right now, you can only write off health care costs that exceed 7.5% of your annual income… and a large chunk of people don’t get to write that off... especially those who will be paying a lot of money into health insurance taxes.

So let’s call it what it is… a tax that should be tax deductible. And to keep health costs tax deductible, why is 7.5% the cap to make health insurance tax deductible?… Make it all tax deductible. Right now a family making 100k that pays $7400 per year in health bills cannot write it off… Change the rules… after the government figures out how the payments will be divided up among my fellow tax paying Americans, let's make things a little more fair for everyone paying into the plan... Lower the 7.5% threshold AND turn this money into a HIT tax so at least taxpayers can get a write off for the money they are paying so the tax payments can make more sense.


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Last week Pumpy won again to raise his record to 3-4. Since this weekend is a big Philly New York weekend with the Knicks, Giants and Yankees playing against those cheesesteak teams. The Eagles host the Giants in a pick 'em game. Sayeth the Pump:

"Im hosting the Psychic's club at my home this weekend and they always leave a giant mess... so take The Giants!"

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:

Last week we went 1-2 to bring the season record to 9-12. This week we try to run the table to get to .500

Giants PICK EM over Philly - It would be nice for the NY fans to win one of these Sunday showdowns...(Is my preference for the Phillies over the Yankees starting to show?)

Seattle 9 1/2 doggies over DALLAS - A good week for the Giants to open up some breathing room.

Minnesota 3 point doggies over GREEN BAY - If the Giants lose and 2 teams from the Dallas, Green Bay and Atlanta trio win - the Giants would close Nov. 1 going from 5-0 to out of a playoff berth!

News of the Week

With kudos to the late legendary Paul Harvey here is some news and comment about some headlines from this week.

FUTURE OF BLOGGING??

If you take a look at the left margin of the blogs we link to, you will notice that some of my fellow bloggers have not updated their blogs lately. Not that I am taking attendance but the Joshie and Dangerspouse blogs have not been updated since late 2008! However others are regularly updating such as Liran, DAS, and Neil Best who blogs on Newsday’s wesbite. Incidentally on Yom Kippur an elderly man who had a tough time moving around walked into Temple for Kol Nidre services and the woman sitting in front of me promptly got up and offered him her seat. I didn’t know it at the time but that woman is actually Liran’s sister!

Anyway, as much as people are saying that Facebook (which just restored live feeds with friends new friends’ updates,… yay!) and Twitter’s microblogging is killing regular blogs there are some blogs that are updated frequently… and one of them is The Fine Neil Best blog…(Not to be confused with the Best Neil Fein blog) . Best updates his blog several times a day with short updates about stuff in the sports media.. or in the case of today Soupy Sales death. He even does an occasional live chat where people can kvetch about Chip Carey and other stuff. It is a daily must read.

Yesterday I logged into Neil’s blog to find an announcement that starting next week all content on Newsday’s website will only be available if you pay a fee. However, you don’t have to subscribe if you already subscribe to Newsday or Cablevision io… which just so happens to be my cable provider.

But would people be willing to pay to see websites? The biggest moneymakers for pay per view pages seem to be the pornsites, although when you look at what they have available for free, you wonder how much more you get for spending money on it. There have been rumors that Newsday would start charging and now the rumors have come true and many of the commenters on the Best blog are saying adios… and they wont pay for content… I also wonder if it will block rss feeds for non Newsday subscribers who are RSS subscribers.

And now this week we also hear that Hulu is planning to charge for some content. But this is not a new concept. A few years back when I started doing my Mortgage Podcast…(which also is one of those that has not been updated in awhile), another podcaster did an interview with me. He worked for the Clickcaster website which hosts my podcast and asked me if I ever planned to charge listeners to listen to them. I don’t recall my answer to that question, but I really doubt people would pay money just to hear my podcast.

Personally, I won’t have to pay because I am an io subscriber, but if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t spend my money on his blog. However, by that same token, I feel bad that newspapers are losing so much money because they are giving it away for free online, so maybe this subscription idea will cut down on webclicks and eventually add up to more newspaper subscriptions.

But then again, if Neil Best’s blog is not in the paper… why don’t they just charge for newspaper content and make the rest of it for free.

NJ NETS FOLLOW UP

I see that the lame duck NJ Nets who may or may not move to Brooklyn…(see last week’s column) are leaning towards playing their games at the Prudential Center. And this battle between the Prudential and the Meadowlands Arena may be resolved with an arrangement that sports goes to Newark and concerts and shows go to Izod. That works well for Newark if the Brooklyn deal falls through and the Nets stay in NJ.. and in the deal the Izod doesn’t have to worry about competing with Prudential for entertainment.

Today’s Post has an article about a lunch hosted by the Nets new owner. I think this guy has some shekels. He took a party of 6 to Nello on the Upper East Side. The tab came out to 15,000 with a $3700 tip! Sayeth the Post:


“Their check included $825 for three orders of truffle tagliolini; $600 for four orders of truffle carpaccio; $210 for three orders of veal chops with mushrooms; and $72 for six large waters.
Not to mention $15 for a bowl of chicken soup.
The lunch was topped off with a $5,000 bottle of vintage 1998 Chateau Petrus and two bottles of 2002 Montrachet Latour for $3,600."


$72 for water??


THOSE CRAZY JEW HATERS

A few weeks ago we told you about the loonie kazoonies from the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka Kansas. They are Jew haters and proud of it.. and the protest outside Jewish synagogues. They also hate gay people too… which means their upcoming trip to NJ will not include seeing Harvey Fierstein’s latest show.

Most people with common sense realize that these Westboro Weirdos are just a fringe group and don’t represent other Baptists. Nonetheless I hear that they now plan to protest outside a Rutgers Jewish Student building next week.


However, before thinking of attending a counter protest, I think the group from Congregation Beth Simchat Torah in Manhattan (a predominantly gay synagogue) got it right. They heard that the Westboro Weirdos were headed to their temple and they turned the tables on them by turning it into a fundraiser. Just like a walkathon where you make a pledge based on how many miles a participant walks… people pledged based on how many minutes the Westboro Weirdos protested.

A big clock was essentially planted near the protestors and the fun began. After 50 minutes Beth Simchat Torah raised $10,000!

And the Rabbi was so happy to raise 10k…. she sent Westboro a Thank You note!

And there you have… the rest of the story!

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week Pumpy lost again since Jacksonville needed OT to win but not cover against the Rams and his record is now 2-4. This week we go to Philly home of the NL Champion Phillies where the Eagles are 7 point road faves against Washington in the Monday Night Game.

Sayeth the Pump: “My friend who is a Phillies fan goes to an egalitiarian synagogue so in honor of Eagle-itarians… I take the Eagles”

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK

Thanks to my picks last week of the Raiders and Chiefs we went 2-1 for a year to date record of 8-10.

Arizona 7 point doggies to THE GIANTS – After last week a TD may be a bit much to cover.. but I predict the Giants will win the game by less than 7.

Atlanta 4 doggies to DALLAS - I love when the Cowboys lose at their new home stadium.

REDSKINS 7 doggies over Eagles – What do they say about home dogs on Monday Night?? By the way, this is the 5th week out of 7 that we are going ALL doggies!

Off the Field Sports Craziness

The Mets went home… and after 6 months of seven day a week fantasy managing, I took the week off from watching sports while the Yankees played the Twins, but now that the League Championship Series is about to start.. it’s time to gear up for baseball again and root for the Dodgers and Angels.

By the way, Yankee fans caught in nasty traffic might want to keep an eye out for that wacky new traffic skipping balloon that guy in Colorado unveiled yesterday with that crazy media hoax that his kid was all by himself in the balloon.. which worked out very well for the all news stations to give his crazy invention lotsa “balloon time” on an otherwise slow news day.

So in a week where I didn't really watch much sports... there was plenty of craziness off the field!

WAS RUSH SCREWED OVER IN HIS ATTEMPT TO SAVE THE RAMS?

I gotta admit, even though I consider myself more of a “conservative” Democrat… I rarely agree with anything Rush Limbaugh says… but then again I never listen to his show. However, I must admit that he is an extremely entertaining radio broadcaster (but always seems to flop on TV) and that “Excellence in Broadcasting” is not to be taken lightly…. No matter how much you disagree with him he is an excellent broadcaster, and by that same token as much as you might disagree with Rev. Jesse Jackson, he is an excellent public speaker.

Rush’s early career started out as a Promotions Director for the Kansas City Royals back in the day when they were actually a pretty good team in the George Brett era. Those were the days when the ALCS always seemed to be Yankees vs. Royals. Rush then got a gig at a radio station in Sacramento replacing Morton Downey of all people and then a few years later ended up with a show on WABC in its early days as an all talk station.

Whatever Rush does.. he does it well. He has no guests on his show (from what I have heard) and El Rushbo also survived losing his hearing before it was restored in 2001 with cochlear implant surgery that changes the way he hears (not really “in the ears”) but allows him to hear nonetheless. He actually had his surgery 9 days before I met Trophy Wife! He also dated and was subsequently shown the door by former CNN hottie Daryn Kagan….

But as much as I disagree with him, I will defend him and all conservative broadcasters such as Sean Hannity and Bob Grant when rightwingers are accused of being “a racist” because unfortunately the liberals who pollute my Democratic party seem to have a hard time understanding that conservative views are against all people…and that includes white people too!. I am also disgusted by lazy people who collect welfare and live off government handouts… but that viewpoint does not make one racist even if there is a perception that the end of welfare would hurt minorities more.

And the white guilt of the liberal party appears to be an easy target for the right wingers. Rush lost an ESPN football analysis gig…(and he seems to know his sports) when he made a comment that the media really wants to see a black quarterback do well. In reality when a black player excels, the media does not only make a big deal about his accomplishments, but his blackness too. Of course part of that is because blacks were not allowed to participate for so many years so Jackie Robinson’s stats stand out moreso than white players in his era with similar stats and likewise the accomplishments of black coaches and other black quarterbacks who accomplish other “firsts”. But you can’t deny that the media doesn’t pay attention to these accomplishments… They do likewise for anyone perceived as an underdog.

But is Rush a racist not worthy of being an NFL owner? I don’t know… but I have a hard time taking “anti liberal causes” as being against a specific race. I think they are against the causes… but not the race. One of Rush’s many weddings was officiated by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas who is black… although many liberal blacks call him an “Uncle Tom” because of his conservative beliefs.

Democrats may disagree with almost everything El Rushbo and Sean Hannity and Michael Savage and all these other mashugie rightwinger broadcasters, but to deny them a chance to buy a football team due to perceived racism is going a little too far.

AND SPEAKING OF RACISM…

For once I gotta admit that Phil Mushnick really hit the nail on the head in his column today…. in referring to the Limbaugh story.. but I think its more relevant pertaining to the Jayson Williams story.

Since we are talking about race today… I remember how I felt when OJ Simpson was acquitted. I wasn’t particularly emotional.. but I knew he beat the rap thanks to some excellent work by his legal team. But what really bothered me was that I was walking through town that same afternoon and a school bus drove by and some black kids yelled out tauntingly about how happy they were that OJ was acquitted.

Why are these crimes a black and white issue?? Was OJ less guilty because of an alleged racist cop whose racism was defined by use of one word! Isn’t the violent act of takinga life more painful than use of a word? And why has the Jayson Williams retrial turned into such a circus??

The Williams retrial will go on! That was just announced this afternoon (thanks to Google News!)… Williams is a tragedy with a capital T. He was an up and coming Mr. Personality while he played for the NJ Nets with a likeability similar to Michael Strahan. I always thought Williams would go on to be a broadcaster but he screwed up his own life in 2002 when he fatally shot a limo driver while foolishly playing around with a loaded gun.

The first trial a few years back resulted in his conviction on charges of covering up the shooting. However the manslaughter charges resulted in a deadlocked jury. Now that retrial time has arrived, Williams’ high priced attorneys discovered that an investigator had used the “n” word to describe Williams during a meeting with other law enforcement. And amazingly his lawyers asked the judge to drop the charges because this n-word utterance was never disclosed during the trial… as if the use of that word somehow changed the fact that Williams had shot this poor limo driver!

Yet according to today’s NY Post,… Mushnick in writing about the Rush Limbaugh story has this nugget about current Nets part owner Jay-Z the rapper. Sayeth the Mushnick:

“Jay-Z, the rapper and rap impresario, and a part owner of the NBA Nets, is among the most popular artists and influential entrepreneurs to have resurrected the "N-word," helped return it to the mainstream”

So the moral of the story is it is ok for a Nets owner to use the word but if a former Nets player fatally shoots a guy and an investigator uses that same word….. then all bets are off!!

SPEAKING OF THE NETS….

Ok… I am no fan of that ridiculous law of eminent domain but you have to credit a guy named Daniel Goldstein who has been standing up to Nets owner Bruce Ratner in his attempt to move the Nets to Brooklyn. I rarely go to Nets games anyway and oddly enough if they move to Brooklyn they will be closer to me than their current home at the Meadowlands Arena. Of course there is the Verezano Bridge and that ridiculous toll to deal with.

But the Nets are the joke franchise of the NBA. They had a nice run earlier this decade during the Jason Kidd era when they took 2 trips to the NBA Finals… but since that time the situation just gets crazier.. and by the way in college I used to get press passes to the team’s locker room and I was there the day Sugar Ray Richardson never showed up so believe me I have seen craziness at that mashugana swamp.

But Ratner is now selling the team to a Russian billionaire but as part of the deal gets to keep his new Arena complex in Brooklyn if the deal is approved in time before he loses his chance to get municipal bonds to fund the project. IN his way however is one Daniel Goldstein, the last man standing in his 9 story condo building that Ratner wants to knock down to build the complex that will pad his pockets with billions of dollars.

A court hearing was held this past Wednesday the NY State Court of Appeals peppered lawyers with questions about why this project should be allowed to proceed. One justice actually asked about relocating to Giants Stadium instead before he was informed that that structure is actually in …. New Jersey!

Nonetheless, I hope the whole thing falls through IF it means tossing people out of their homes… However, it might make more sense to move the team to the Prudential Arena in Newark which is more accessible to public transportation. I hear that the light rail to Giants Stadium does not run trains for events unless there is a larger crowd expected that surpasses the typical Nets audience.

On the other hand if they move closer to me to Brooklyn… here is an idea right out of the Rush Limbaugh Promotions book – have the Nets run a deal for Jerseyans and give us a free toll on the too expensive Verezano Bridge!


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week Pumpy dropped under .500… and I think this is the first time ever since he started doing picks… to 2-3. This week we go to St. Louis home of the Rush Limbaugh less Rams where the Rams are 91/2 doggies to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Sayeth the Pump: “Take the Jaguars because I like that new ABC show with Courtney Cox – Jaguartown”

(By the way the show is actually called “Cougar”town…)


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:

Last week we went 1-2 to drop to a mediocre 6-9.

Giants 3 point doggies to NEW ORLEANS – Would you believe I’m missing this game for an exhibition Knick game?? It’s actually a fundraiser against the Maccabi Electra team.

Raiders 14 doggies to PHILLY – I think my record will get better once I start picking more NFC East teams in these battles against crummy bottom feeders. Raiders to cover!

Chiefs 6 ½ doggies to WASHINGTON – Don’t tell Michael Vick.. we’re going all doggies this week!