Wednesday was just such a lousy day,.. I have a client who is driving me nuts... another one who didnt get paid money that was rightfully his, and another one in FL has an appraisor who is up to some kind of monkey business that transcends the lunacy of hanging chads. All I do is put out fires..
Last night I went to sleep and I said.. Thursday will be a better day... So far.. not the case.
My Wife called me this morning to tell me that the Temple is on fire. According to the latest news reports.. the blaze started in the basement and a major part of the building has smoke damage. Most importantly nobody was in the building at the time so there are no injuries or deaths.. and the sacred Torah scrolls including the ones salvaged from the Holocaust after World War II have also been safely removed.
As you know I met my wife there in that very building on December 29, 2001.. I was speaking to my friend Carrie there after services one day (and she just got engaged last week!) and this cute girl came walking over to us... You gotta like a synagogue that helps you meet your wife!! Everytime we drive by or walk by.. I always say to her.. "I met the most beautiful girl in the world in that building"... at which point she runs down a list of every woman in Sisterhood and/or Haddasah in a goofy attempt to guess which woman I am referring to.
During lunch today I drove over to see the building. I had to park a few blocks away because the road was closed off. I passed some of the older members who were sitting on a bench looking at the building. Today, I didn't make any comment about meeting the most beautiful girl there... but silently stood there as the stench of smoke was very obvious. The building is still there.. the stained glass windows in the sanctuary are still there.. but there is a lot of smoke damage in the back of the building. Later tonight there will be a temple meeting at the local Y and I am sure we will hear the battle plan of what will be happening.
I had seen the early media reports about the blaze and the Rabbi has already done what he should... he announced that we will bounce back. And we will.. I dont know if that is a Jewish thing.. but its a human thing. We're like weebles.. we wobble but we dont fall down.. and if we do.. we get right back up. We survived Pogroms, The Holocaust and terror in NY and Israel. 3 heroic Israeli soldiers remain missing probably in Iran, and Israel fights to get them back.. yet misguided liberals who are more concerned with the Plight of the Hezbollah cause us to fight an unnecesary PR war.. . Do we let that get us down? No... we dont. We always recover after we fall!
I originally started going to the Highland Park Conservative Temple and Center in 1997 so I am relatively new to the Temple family. My mom had moved to Edison, after living in Roselle for 30 years. A few weeks after the move, it was time for the Yizkor Memorial Services so it was time to find a new synagogue. The first place I went to didnt have services so I x'ed that one out... and I decided to venture off to HP. Amazingly it was a weekday and the place was full! After that... that was where I would go for services.. including the High Holy Days..
Just before the 1999 Holy Days.... which were a bit too soon after Labor Day... (unlike 1994 when they started labor day night.. and jerry Lewis sang "You will never walk alone... to shul!"), I went to purchase tickets and politely asked if I could not be seated behind an extremely tall gentleman who had blocked my view the year before. On the first day of the Holy days.. I turn around to leave my seat and there approaching me was the same very tall guy! As he walked right to me, I froze in fear wondering if the woman in the office repeated my seating request to him. "Hey".. he said.. "that was fun playing frisbee last wknd at the Y Camps!".. It turned out he had been at a singles weekend at the Y Camps and we had tossed a frisbee around... I didnt realize that this tall dude at the singles wknd was the same view blocker from 1998.. These tall people all look the same to me.. and as it turns out we have been good buddies ever since!
I started going there with more regularity in 2001. My mother died that August and I moved into her condo in October. I was saying kaddish on a daily basis and started to go to their nightly services where I became friendly with the gang of regulars at the nightly minyan. It was only because I was saying Kaddish that i went to services that fateful December 29th.. We know another couple that is getting married later this year.. and they also met at the Temple.
We have also made a lot of terrific friends there.. and as was the case with my prior synagogue in Linden... you start to form a lot of happy memories.. I always think of Saturday morning services as a long running musical.. it takes place each and every weekend and even if you attend services in LA or FL or Mexico or Israel,... the songs are the same and you form a comfort level with those familiar tunes.
Tonight a temple-wide meeting was held at the local Y... and thanks to Channel 7 for realizing that this is an important news story... and we were updated on the status of the building. According to the engineer who toured the scene.. structurally the building is still very sound so we don't have to worry about that. However, the interior in the area of the sanctuary sustained major damage. The Temple President got an early morning call from the alarm company and when he stepped into the sanctuary to see what was going on... he could see the flames shooting up through the floor from the basement below. Kudos to the heroic firefighters.. many who were at the Y tonight... for a job well done.. According to those on the scene, they did everything they could to keep the stained glass windows intact.. But as the Rabbi said when the media interviewed him in the early morning hours.. it is time now to rebuild and one day down the road the building will be back to its old self.
Next weekend is Labor Day... and we are all going to go away and have fun. Every weekend my wife and I go to the ATM and take out "weekend fun money". Maybe just maybe the readers of this blog might want to consider setting aside some of that "fun money".. maybe the cost of a few drinks.. maybe the amount they would spend on a dinner out, maybe they spend for funnel cakes at Point Pleasant, or even the cost of a new frisbee. Or we just might want to match that "Labor Day weekend fun money" with money that can go to another good cause.. Operation Temple Restoration. Maybe one day a goofy guy like me can go there for services and end up meeting his wife.
Y'know they say a synagogue is a house of worship.. but in reality.. it is a Home for Worshippers. It is a structure that protects us from the pouring rain storms, and is there for us when someone dies and you must say Kaddish even though you are a mourner and don't want to deal with people.. but you go and see the familiar friendly smiling faces of people greeting you because they are happy to see you.. Its there for us for celebrations, the bar-mitzvahs, My Auf Ruf was there where I was called up to the Torah before my wedding.. and holidays. and landmark events. Its a home away from home for a lot of the little kids whose parents see to it that the Temple is part of their regular event schedule.
Tonight after posting this column I will go to bed and I hope Friday will be a better day.. I actually look forward to my annoying client, and the guy who didn't get his check yet and the Florida appraisor who is up to monkey business. I hope Friday is a better day.
The Highland Park Temple Restoration Fund.
If friends want to make contributions, they may send them to The Temple's regular address:
201 South Third Avenue
Highland Park, NJ 08904
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
More Fair-y Tales - Homer's Show
Last weekend Trophy Wife and I jumped in the car and headed out to our not so annual pilgrimage to The Sussex County Fair. We met up with my buddy Paul and his lovely wife and their cute little baby boy. Since Paul is a big shot in the local media, and a former radio coworker of mine, I tagged along while he went off to cover the Talent Show. While he shot some footage in the hours before the show, I struck up a conversation with an old friend of mine - the talent agent who actually books the acts.
Homer IV, or as the kids call him on their MySpace sites… H4... is the third generation in his family to book talent at The Sussex County Fair‘s talent show. His great grandfather Homer I actually won the lumberjack competition in the early days of The Fair. His grandfather Homer II started the talent show many years back, and after a brief conversion to Judaism, his dad Moshe Yankel was in charge and now its Homer IV at the controls. The stories involving the talent show always impressed me from the days that I worked in local radio in Northwest NJ in the early 1990’s.
While we were chatting a few hours prior to the big show, a middle age man who resembled John Cleese with the manic urgency of Matthew Lesko breathlessly barged in carrying an unusually large suitcase… “Excuse me”, he exclaimed…”but we traveled a long distance by bus and I was hoping.. just hoping I would be allowed to audition for tonight’s Talent Show”. Homer IV was used to last minute audition requests, but there was something about this guy’s passion and desperate eagerness that intrigued him yet scared him. Homer happened to know that a local teen baton twirler was possibly going to drop out of the talent show after she sustained a hand injury and rumor had it, it wasn’t because she was milking cows with the 4h club.. “Homer IV“, said the gentleman, “My family and I have an act that is so unusual we want to be considered for any open slot you might still have“. Homer IV had heard all the stories already, but he leaned forward, took a puff on his corn cob pipe and we listened intently to what this well traveled man had to say..
“Y’see” said the gentleman to Homer IV as he drew in a deep breath and started his pitch, “my family and I have fine tuned our act and we think you will like it…. Its my wife, my paw and my five daughters…. and our ventriloquism act,…. We have puppets and we try our very best not to move our lips…but we always end up moving ’em anyway… oh and some of us are mimes too. We all play a game... Kind of like a cross between “Hollywood Squares” and “Make Me Laugh“ but there isn’t any tic tac toe involved.…The object of the game is my puppet Yasser tries to make the other puppets laugh. Plus, we also have a Paul LoDuca puppet… he takes bets from the audience on which puppet will win plus he flirts with my 19 year old daughter using double entendres involving the words hand and puppet. That’s not be confused with my 17 year old daughter who usually ends up at every county fair naked behind the counter with some toothless Carny worker who has spent 14 straight hours at the water pistol horse race.”
Oh, there was more…“Maw’s puppet is Wayland Flowers….. my wife's puppet is Shari Lewis... get it.. puppets of dead puppetteers.... Oh, and my daughter’s puppet is Brooke Astor. That works out well because they are mime ventriloquists and they can’t throw their voices too well anyway… There is also a Fidel Castro puppet…and he tends to win. . But of course he is competing against 2 dead puppets… and the Castro puppet doesn’t laugh much anyway… So after the Paul LoDuca puppet takes the bets… Yasser Puppet comes out and he reads Doonesbury cartoons to the other puppets but with a Russian accent, and a bit of a lisp… . Like Yaakov Smirnoff.. And with a Mel Tillis stammer.. With a little Mel Brooks thrown in…
“Then we go to the next round… and that’s where it gets kind of uh sexy. If nobody laughs, Yasser has to smear apple jam on the other puppets feet and then he has to lick the puppet’s toes until they giggle…. If that doesn’t work… we unscrew their heads and switch them around to the other puppets…gosh you oughta see Fidel Castro’s head on Brooke Astor’s body… its like a transvestite! And if those damn puppets still don’t giggle, I prick the other puppeteers with little pins until they make those Goddamn puppets laugh. Then we come out take a bow and throw the dead puppets into the audience.. But my brother and sister, who happen to be married to each other actually stand in the audience so they can retrieve the puppets for our next show…”
At this point Homer IV’s corn cob pipe was pretty much out of his mouth as his jaw had dropped open hearing about this family…. He straightened up, collected his thoughts and looked at the gentleman and asked…. “And what pray tell do you call this act?”
Ok folks… did you catch on yet? Today’s column is about ….“The Aristocrats”... the oddest documentary of 2005.
Here’s an old joke.. a man goes on a prison tour and as he is being shown around he hears one inmate yell out 30.. and all the other prisoners start laughing.. Another prisoner yells out 47.. and they all laugh.. a 3rd one yells out 225 and they all laugh. The man on the tour asks the tour guide why all the prisoners keep laughing at these numbers. "well", explains the tour guide, "these people have been stuck here in prison for so many years that they know each and every joke known to mankind. Therefore, each joke is simply assigned a number so instead of going to the trouble of telling the whole joke.. the inmates simply yell out the number".
Moments later a prisoner yells out 325. And there’s dead silence. The tourist asks the guide.. "Why didnt anybody laugh"... "oh".. said the tour guide.. ."that's Griffin.. he just doesnt know how to tell a joke!"
With that in mind.. take "The Aristocrats", a lame-o joke used for years by comedians as a mental exercise to keep their storytelling skills sharp. The premise is the same... A man walks into a talent agency and tells the talent agent his family has a great act.... the end of the joke is always... What is this act called.. and the person tells the talent agent.. "the aristocrats". Its the body of the joke that is always different as comedians throw in any kind of combination of body fluids, sexual position and animal sexual position combined with animal body fluids and vice versa to make it extremely unlikely that such a crazed act would ever be called "The Aristrocrats". In the context of the movie.. you know what’s coming.. but in the context of this blog by segueing into it from a SC Fair anecdote you may not have immediately realized where the Homer story was going. Its all about context.. 100 short movies about a comedian telling the same joke is funny.. One movie with 100 comedians telling the joke can get a bit cumbersome despite some nifty direction and well directed camerawork.
One of the best parts of the film appears near the end of the movie, and maybe should be where the movie should have started. Comedy Central is filming The Friars Club Roast of Hugh Hefner just weeks after 9-11 and Gilbert Gottfried is trying to be funny but his jokes are falling flat. So he calls an audible and goes for the Aristocrats joke.. but in the process of telling it (it may not have been as popular back then) cracks up the audience with his incredible delivery. From there on.. about 100 different comedians tell the same joke with some others notably Robin Williams and Drew Carey telling a different much funnier joke about a piano player at a jazz bar. Oddly enough in the closing credits Comedy Central is thanked for providing that clip and another one featuring the cast of South Park telling the joke.. Yet both scenes are too vulgar to have ever seen the light of day on Comedy Central.
Some of the comedians versions are downright hysterical. I’m not a big fan of Judy Gold.. (She went to high school with my buddy Mike), but while pregnant, she tells an outrageous version from the perspective of a pregnant woman involving her unborn fetus. Likewise Sarah Silverman... the object of lust for every nice Jewish boy (except the married ones like myself) injects herself into the joke and injects talk show legend Joe Franklin into herself... (Poor Joe doesn’t seem to be in on the joke and probably thinks Sarah Silverman is the matriarch of the Silverman hotel in the Catskills.. kind of like Jennie Grossinger from Grossinger’s... hey its time for Simon Says with Lou Goldstein!) Bob Saget who is really a vulgar comedian despite his Full House fame has an amusing take on it and Jon Ross is hysterical telling the joke in a men’s room. Reportedly comedy legends Rodney Dangerfield and Buddy Hackett had to bow out of the movie because they were too ill when it was being filmed.
Nonetheless, you have to give the producers credit for originality and for being able to maintain the pace for more than an hour. It also gives you insight into what makes comedians click as they attempt to fill that act with the most vulgar ideas they can think of. I thought about the idea for this column early on in the film and prayed that nobody would inject puppets into it... There is a mime .. and his performance is un-mime-ingly amusing, considering he is acting out graphic sexual movements as innocent people stroll by on a beach boardwalk.
On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Aristocrats gets 2 and a half bladders which will be removed from the performers daughters, mixed with a pile of horse poopie, passed in a liquidy goo by the horse that won the Lou Dobbs Grand Prix at last weeks Sussex County Fair, and then mixed with lemonade from the lemonade buckets that the carny workers used as their own personal urinal.. the contents of which is mixed in with a funnel cake and served a la mode to some unsuspecting snobby ventriloquist mime.. Now how aristocratic can you get?
Homer IV, or as the kids call him on their MySpace sites… H4... is the third generation in his family to book talent at The Sussex County Fair‘s talent show. His great grandfather Homer I actually won the lumberjack competition in the early days of The Fair. His grandfather Homer II started the talent show many years back, and after a brief conversion to Judaism, his dad Moshe Yankel was in charge and now its Homer IV at the controls. The stories involving the talent show always impressed me from the days that I worked in local radio in Northwest NJ in the early 1990’s.
While we were chatting a few hours prior to the big show, a middle age man who resembled John Cleese with the manic urgency of Matthew Lesko breathlessly barged in carrying an unusually large suitcase… “Excuse me”, he exclaimed…”but we traveled a long distance by bus and I was hoping.. just hoping I would be allowed to audition for tonight’s Talent Show”. Homer IV was used to last minute audition requests, but there was something about this guy’s passion and desperate eagerness that intrigued him yet scared him. Homer happened to know that a local teen baton twirler was possibly going to drop out of the talent show after she sustained a hand injury and rumor had it, it wasn’t because she was milking cows with the 4h club.. “Homer IV“, said the gentleman, “My family and I have an act that is so unusual we want to be considered for any open slot you might still have“. Homer IV had heard all the stories already, but he leaned forward, took a puff on his corn cob pipe and we listened intently to what this well traveled man had to say..
“Y’see” said the gentleman to Homer IV as he drew in a deep breath and started his pitch, “my family and I have fine tuned our act and we think you will like it…. Its my wife, my paw and my five daughters…. and our ventriloquism act,…. We have puppets and we try our very best not to move our lips…but we always end up moving ’em anyway… oh and some of us are mimes too. We all play a game... Kind of like a cross between “Hollywood Squares” and “Make Me Laugh“ but there isn’t any tic tac toe involved.…The object of the game is my puppet Yasser tries to make the other puppets laugh. Plus, we also have a Paul LoDuca puppet… he takes bets from the audience on which puppet will win plus he flirts with my 19 year old daughter using double entendres involving the words hand and puppet. That’s not be confused with my 17 year old daughter who usually ends up at every county fair naked behind the counter with some toothless Carny worker who has spent 14 straight hours at the water pistol horse race.”
Oh, there was more…“Maw’s puppet is Wayland Flowers….. my wife's puppet is Shari Lewis... get it.. puppets of dead puppetteers.... Oh, and my daughter’s puppet is Brooke Astor. That works out well because they are mime ventriloquists and they can’t throw their voices too well anyway… There is also a Fidel Castro puppet…and he tends to win. . But of course he is competing against 2 dead puppets… and the Castro puppet doesn’t laugh much anyway… So after the Paul LoDuca puppet takes the bets… Yasser Puppet comes out and he reads Doonesbury cartoons to the other puppets but with a Russian accent, and a bit of a lisp… . Like Yaakov Smirnoff.. And with a Mel Tillis stammer.. With a little Mel Brooks thrown in…
“Then we go to the next round… and that’s where it gets kind of uh sexy. If nobody laughs, Yasser has to smear apple jam on the other puppets feet and then he has to lick the puppet’s toes until they giggle…. If that doesn’t work… we unscrew their heads and switch them around to the other puppets…gosh you oughta see Fidel Castro’s head on Brooke Astor’s body… its like a transvestite! And if those damn puppets still don’t giggle, I prick the other puppeteers with little pins until they make those Goddamn puppets laugh. Then we come out take a bow and throw the dead puppets into the audience.. But my brother and sister, who happen to be married to each other actually stand in the audience so they can retrieve the puppets for our next show…”
At this point Homer IV’s corn cob pipe was pretty much out of his mouth as his jaw had dropped open hearing about this family…. He straightened up, collected his thoughts and looked at the gentleman and asked…. “And what pray tell do you call this act?”
Ok folks… did you catch on yet? Today’s column is about ….“The Aristocrats”... the oddest documentary of 2005.
Here’s an old joke.. a man goes on a prison tour and as he is being shown around he hears one inmate yell out 30.. and all the other prisoners start laughing.. Another prisoner yells out 47.. and they all laugh.. a 3rd one yells out 225 and they all laugh. The man on the tour asks the tour guide why all the prisoners keep laughing at these numbers. "well", explains the tour guide, "these people have been stuck here in prison for so many years that they know each and every joke known to mankind. Therefore, each joke is simply assigned a number so instead of going to the trouble of telling the whole joke.. the inmates simply yell out the number".
Moments later a prisoner yells out 325. And there’s dead silence. The tourist asks the guide.. "Why didnt anybody laugh"... "oh".. said the tour guide.. ."that's Griffin.. he just doesnt know how to tell a joke!"
With that in mind.. take "The Aristocrats", a lame-o joke used for years by comedians as a mental exercise to keep their storytelling skills sharp. The premise is the same... A man walks into a talent agency and tells the talent agent his family has a great act.... the end of the joke is always... What is this act called.. and the person tells the talent agent.. "the aristocrats". Its the body of the joke that is always different as comedians throw in any kind of combination of body fluids, sexual position and animal sexual position combined with animal body fluids and vice versa to make it extremely unlikely that such a crazed act would ever be called "The Aristrocrats". In the context of the movie.. you know what’s coming.. but in the context of this blog by segueing into it from a SC Fair anecdote you may not have immediately realized where the Homer story was going. Its all about context.. 100 short movies about a comedian telling the same joke is funny.. One movie with 100 comedians telling the joke can get a bit cumbersome despite some nifty direction and well directed camerawork.
One of the best parts of the film appears near the end of the movie, and maybe should be where the movie should have started. Comedy Central is filming The Friars Club Roast of Hugh Hefner just weeks after 9-11 and Gilbert Gottfried is trying to be funny but his jokes are falling flat. So he calls an audible and goes for the Aristocrats joke.. but in the process of telling it (it may not have been as popular back then) cracks up the audience with his incredible delivery. From there on.. about 100 different comedians tell the same joke with some others notably Robin Williams and Drew Carey telling a different much funnier joke about a piano player at a jazz bar. Oddly enough in the closing credits Comedy Central is thanked for providing that clip and another one featuring the cast of South Park telling the joke.. Yet both scenes are too vulgar to have ever seen the light of day on Comedy Central.
Some of the comedians versions are downright hysterical. I’m not a big fan of Judy Gold.. (She went to high school with my buddy Mike), but while pregnant, she tells an outrageous version from the perspective of a pregnant woman involving her unborn fetus. Likewise Sarah Silverman... the object of lust for every nice Jewish boy (except the married ones like myself) injects herself into the joke and injects talk show legend Joe Franklin into herself... (Poor Joe doesn’t seem to be in on the joke and probably thinks Sarah Silverman is the matriarch of the Silverman hotel in the Catskills.. kind of like Jennie Grossinger from Grossinger’s... hey its time for Simon Says with Lou Goldstein!) Bob Saget who is really a vulgar comedian despite his Full House fame has an amusing take on it and Jon Ross is hysterical telling the joke in a men’s room. Reportedly comedy legends Rodney Dangerfield and Buddy Hackett had to bow out of the movie because they were too ill when it was being filmed.
Nonetheless, you have to give the producers credit for originality and for being able to maintain the pace for more than an hour. It also gives you insight into what makes comedians click as they attempt to fill that act with the most vulgar ideas they can think of. I thought about the idea for this column early on in the film and prayed that nobody would inject puppets into it... There is a mime .. and his performance is un-mime-ingly amusing, considering he is acting out graphic sexual movements as innocent people stroll by on a beach boardwalk.
On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Aristocrats gets 2 and a half bladders which will be removed from the performers daughters, mixed with a pile of horse poopie, passed in a liquidy goo by the horse that won the Lou Dobbs Grand Prix at last weeks Sussex County Fair, and then mixed with lemonade from the lemonade buckets that the carny workers used as their own personal urinal.. the contents of which is mixed in with a funnel cake and served a la mode to some unsuspecting snobby ventriloquist mime.. Now how aristocratic can you get?
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Fair-y Tales - A Multimedia Extravaganza
This Just In...
As we go to press we are just getting word here that good ol' Mike Douglas who recently was #7 on The Top 14 Talk Show Host list died today on his birthday! Technically, blogs really don't go to press... Actually, it's just as we were about to click the "Publish Post" button on Blogspot.
Well folks.. August is here and in just a few weeks the summer will be over!! That's a wake-up call to party it up before its too late. Last weekend we celebrated Trophy Wife's birthday with a bbq where we had 54 people gobbling down a yummy variety of hot dogs and hamburgers. Unfortunately we had some electrical problems which really sucks when you are using an electric barbecue. Nonetheless, we were able to get the power back on after realizing the central AC was draining the rest of the electric supply. Word out to my fellow blogger Neil for helping to get the grill running! Apologies to my pals at Target because I went and bought the grill at blech.. Walmart.. I hope Target doesn't feel betrayed... but they already cleared all the summer stuff out to get the Santa displays ready! Nonetheless I ducked my head and ran in and out of Walmart trying to avoid being seen.. just like a chusid who stops at McDonalds for a quick pish, but worries that some Rabbi may find him in the background of little Jimmy's b'day party pics taken on his cousin's cellphone that now circulate on his myspace website!
One other August tradition that I kicked off back in 1990 was - The Sussex County Farm and Horse Show.. Aka the Sussex County Fair. It was either like it or hate it. My former radio colleagues, Dangerspouse and another AM weekend DJ, a fine fella by the name of Bart despised the Fair with all their hearts. Yet because they were AM DJs they were sent out there for live remotes during Fair Weeks where they talked about Pig races from an un air conditioned trailer. The FM DJs however got the opportunity to broadcast from this beastly looking bus like vehicle called The Super Roving Radio.. A giant truck sized contraption on wheels that resembled a big ugly boom box and was towed around Northwest NJ by an equally tacky looking van. Dangerspouse and I were always amazed that the station's owners claimed they couldn't afford to pay us more than a mere pittance but had enough money to waste on that eyesore. I think the Super Roving Radio is now used as the trailer for the MTV show "Next".
As a newsman it was my job to find stuff to cover at the Fair. This was a lot easier than the early radio news days of Face the Nation host Bob Schieffer. In his book "This Just In", the 2nd book on my summer reading list (Jacquie Jordan's book "Get on TV" was the first) he tells about ducking bullets during riots at The University of Mississippi when black college student James Meredith attempted to break the color barrier by enrolling there. Oddly enough Meredith went on to become a Right Wing Republican and actually endorsed David Duke when he ran for President!
Here is my disclaimer... I liked the Fair! There were more Gentiles there than I had ever seen in my whole life, and even though I moved out of Northwest NJ 12 years ago, I still have made a few pilgrimages to the fair in the ensuing years... usually to buy a nice handcrafted leather wallet.. that I ultimately end up forgetting to purchase! Back in 1990 it started when I wandered into the 4H club tent and interviewed a girl who had been crowned the Swine Queen. Joe Tolleson who was the Mud Bug announcer and is now the Rangers PA Announcer... (he went from messy to Messier!) was quite amused that when I went to a pig auction, I was stunned to find that the man who won the auction... NJ State Senator Bob Littell (who still holds the post) bought it to cut it up and eat it!! What did I know about eating pigs.. I grew up in a kosher home and watched Green Acres. I just assumed it was supposed to be a pet! That poor little piggy.. All this taking place so soon after the crowning of the Swine Queen!!
Other annual highlights were The Queen of the Fair Pageant, and a few things I used to announce for.. The Turtle Races.. a scheduling oddity since its actually illegal to own a turtle in NJ. I also used to announce the Saturday Night ATV Races.. And up to that point growing up in a rather suburban area I had no idea what an All Terrain Vehicle was. Our station also sponsored The Mud Bog.. A truck pulling event in mud that seemed to be very popular; halftime featured a radio contest called the Dash for Cash.. where scantily clad women in strapless tank tops would feel their way in the mud to find balloons filled with money. Im curious what would have happened if their tops came off while they were blindfolded? Would they know? Would they be able to find their tops? Would they be groped by the blindfolded guys? There also was the odd tradition of having one of the Fair Bigshots open the Fair with a traditional rooster crow.. This elderly fellow actually stood there and bellowed out cock a doodle-doo like a rooster.. I swear I'm not making this up! You will see more of this in today's multimedia presentation!
But there was a lot of interesting stuff going on... I liked the 4h kids.. We didn't have that in "the city" when I was growing up and these were good young kids. The equestrian competition was also a lot of fun. In 1994, Jacquie Jordan, a recent NWOW Podcast guest, was my cohost on a five part 30 minute nightly program called "The Sussex County Fair on TV", a wild and wooly show we taped daily during a week that also consisted of full time radio broadcasts plus a side PT job led to a week filled with 20 hour work days! That program aired from August 8 through August 12, 1994 on a couple of local cable stations. Last year my buddy Paul was producing a show for the local cable station and just for fun I did a couple of stories including the Pie Eating Contest and an equestrian competition where one of the participants was Mayor Bloomberg's daughter Georgina. That competition was sponsored by CNN's Lou Dobbs and his name was mentioned so often by the PA announcer, that I was thinking of starting a new drinking game! Everytime you hear Lou Dobbs name.. you gotta do a shot!
This weekend I'm going back again, and as always I'll try to buy a nice leather wallet. But I will probably forget... Nonetheless.. here is an audio clip AND a video clip.. We spare no expense nor streamload.com bandwidth! First we have Kaleidiscope Theater... a chat with Johnny Maestro and a tongue in cheek interview with the man who would open the fair each year with his cock a doodle do! And don't forget we have an audio clip underneath... (also accesible by clicking the title!). Remember this is a Multimedia Extravaganza!!
The audio is from my Radio Entertainment Report in the early 90s featuring interviews with various characters I would run into including the star of the freakshow.. the 800 lb. guy.. and other assorted people who crossed my path. But first, legendary blogger Dangerspouse talks about his memories. Hope you enjoy the Fair!
As we go to press we are just getting word here that good ol' Mike Douglas who recently was #7 on The Top 14 Talk Show Host list died today on his birthday! Technically, blogs really don't go to press... Actually, it's just as we were about to click the "Publish Post" button on Blogspot.
Well folks.. August is here and in just a few weeks the summer will be over!! That's a wake-up call to party it up before its too late. Last weekend we celebrated Trophy Wife's birthday with a bbq where we had 54 people gobbling down a yummy variety of hot dogs and hamburgers. Unfortunately we had some electrical problems which really sucks when you are using an electric barbecue. Nonetheless, we were able to get the power back on after realizing the central AC was draining the rest of the electric supply. Word out to my fellow blogger Neil for helping to get the grill running! Apologies to my pals at Target because I went and bought the grill at blech.. Walmart.. I hope Target doesn't feel betrayed... but they already cleared all the summer stuff out to get the Santa displays ready! Nonetheless I ducked my head and ran in and out of Walmart trying to avoid being seen.. just like a chusid who stops at McDonalds for a quick pish, but worries that some Rabbi may find him in the background of little Jimmy's b'day party pics taken on his cousin's cellphone that now circulate on his myspace website!
One other August tradition that I kicked off back in 1990 was - The Sussex County Farm and Horse Show.. Aka the Sussex County Fair. It was either like it or hate it. My former radio colleagues, Dangerspouse and another AM weekend DJ, a fine fella by the name of Bart despised the Fair with all their hearts. Yet because they were AM DJs they were sent out there for live remotes during Fair Weeks where they talked about Pig races from an un air conditioned trailer. The FM DJs however got the opportunity to broadcast from this beastly looking bus like vehicle called The Super Roving Radio.. A giant truck sized contraption on wheels that resembled a big ugly boom box and was towed around Northwest NJ by an equally tacky looking van. Dangerspouse and I were always amazed that the station's owners claimed they couldn't afford to pay us more than a mere pittance but had enough money to waste on that eyesore. I think the Super Roving Radio is now used as the trailer for the MTV show "Next".
As a newsman it was my job to find stuff to cover at the Fair. This was a lot easier than the early radio news days of Face the Nation host Bob Schieffer. In his book "This Just In", the 2nd book on my summer reading list (Jacquie Jordan's book "Get on TV" was the first) he tells about ducking bullets during riots at The University of Mississippi when black college student James Meredith attempted to break the color barrier by enrolling there. Oddly enough Meredith went on to become a Right Wing Republican and actually endorsed David Duke when he ran for President!
Here is my disclaimer... I liked the Fair! There were more Gentiles there than I had ever seen in my whole life, and even though I moved out of Northwest NJ 12 years ago, I still have made a few pilgrimages to the fair in the ensuing years... usually to buy a nice handcrafted leather wallet.. that I ultimately end up forgetting to purchase! Back in 1990 it started when I wandered into the 4H club tent and interviewed a girl who had been crowned the Swine Queen. Joe Tolleson who was the Mud Bug announcer and is now the Rangers PA Announcer... (he went from messy to Messier!) was quite amused that when I went to a pig auction, I was stunned to find that the man who won the auction... NJ State Senator Bob Littell (who still holds the post) bought it to cut it up and eat it!! What did I know about eating pigs.. I grew up in a kosher home and watched Green Acres. I just assumed it was supposed to be a pet! That poor little piggy.. All this taking place so soon after the crowning of the Swine Queen!!
Other annual highlights were The Queen of the Fair Pageant, and a few things I used to announce for.. The Turtle Races.. a scheduling oddity since its actually illegal to own a turtle in NJ. I also used to announce the Saturday Night ATV Races.. And up to that point growing up in a rather suburban area I had no idea what an All Terrain Vehicle was. Our station also sponsored The Mud Bog.. A truck pulling event in mud that seemed to be very popular; halftime featured a radio contest called the Dash for Cash.. where scantily clad women in strapless tank tops would feel their way in the mud to find balloons filled with money. Im curious what would have happened if their tops came off while they were blindfolded? Would they know? Would they be able to find their tops? Would they be groped by the blindfolded guys? There also was the odd tradition of having one of the Fair Bigshots open the Fair with a traditional rooster crow.. This elderly fellow actually stood there and bellowed out cock a doodle-doo like a rooster.. I swear I'm not making this up! You will see more of this in today's multimedia presentation!
But there was a lot of interesting stuff going on... I liked the 4h kids.. We didn't have that in "the city" when I was growing up and these were good young kids. The equestrian competition was also a lot of fun. In 1994, Jacquie Jordan, a recent NWOW Podcast guest, was my cohost on a five part 30 minute nightly program called "The Sussex County Fair on TV", a wild and wooly show we taped daily during a week that also consisted of full time radio broadcasts plus a side PT job led to a week filled with 20 hour work days! That program aired from August 8 through August 12, 1994 on a couple of local cable stations. Last year my buddy Paul was producing a show for the local cable station and just for fun I did a couple of stories including the Pie Eating Contest and an equestrian competition where one of the participants was Mayor Bloomberg's daughter Georgina. That competition was sponsored by CNN's Lou Dobbs and his name was mentioned so often by the PA announcer, that I was thinking of starting a new drinking game! Everytime you hear Lou Dobbs name.. you gotta do a shot!
This weekend I'm going back again, and as always I'll try to buy a nice leather wallet. But I will probably forget... Nonetheless.. here is an audio clip AND a video clip.. We spare no expense nor streamload.com bandwidth! First we have Kaleidiscope Theater... a chat with Johnny Maestro and a tongue in cheek interview with the man who would open the fair each year with his cock a doodle do! And don't forget we have an audio clip underneath... (also accesible by clicking the title!). Remember this is a Multimedia Extravaganza!!
The audio is from my Radio Entertainment Report in the early 90s featuring interviews with various characters I would run into including the star of the freakshow.. the 800 lb. guy.. and other assorted people who crossed my path. But first, legendary blogger Dangerspouse talks about his memories. Hope you enjoy the Fair!
Friday, August 04, 2006
MTV At 25: Reality Killed The Video Star
Can you believe it… MTV is already at the quarter century mark? Every summer has its pop culture theme. ‘81 was the Summer of MTV.. This summer is “Snakes on a Plane”… Hey has anybody heard anything about what that movie is going to be about?
This past week marked 25 years since the summer of ‘81 when the network launched with "Video Killed the Radio Star" and the oh so hip teenyboppers boldly declared “I want my MTV”. The station which used to consist of music videos has evolved into a lineup of reality shows catering to a younger set. Nowadays, if you want to watch music on TV, you can always tune in to the commercial free music stations on your digital cable/satellite system.
This summer, I have gotten really tired of watching the Middle Eastern coverage on the news, so I have been tuning in to the late night MTV line-up… basically consisting of the dating show Next and the Feel Good makeover program “Why Can’t I Be You?“ Just in case you're not familiar with the premise of WCIBY, it’s a makeover show for the MTV Generation where the teenyboppers point out a peer they envy.. The host Nick Zano barges in on the hero at a very inopportune time.. and offers that person 2k to spend 48 hours with aforementioned person… hoping that in 48 hours the wannabe is more like his hero. But I may have to stop watching it late at night.. because the show has been working its way into my dreams!
In my dream I was driving my car. I was very sober. A policeman’s siren went off behind me and the cop pulled me over. An officer named Levine walked up to me and asked me if I was sober. I said yes. He wished me a good evening. And I very politely asked him.. ,…. “Levine… hmmm.. Are You Jewish?” Just then Nick Zano, the host of Why Can’t I Be You popped out from behind the police car. “Nate”… he exclaimed breathlessly…”There is someone here who wants to be like you…. And if you let that person spend 48 hours with you.. You get 2000 dollars!”. “Wow that‘s a lot of money Nick, .. All I did was drive sober and politely ask a cop if he is Jewish.. Who wants to be like me?”
There from out of the woods emerged Mel Gibson.
His career is like the end of a video game.. Game Over.. And now that his True Colors have come through we all know him for the Jew hater he really is. All his denials that his movie “The Passion of the Christ” was not based on the Anti Semitism of his father obviously show that the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Nice try by the LAPD to cover it up, but the Career Over light is on.. Now if David Duke needs a producer if he decides to launch another political campaign….
I do like how Melvin is taking the pity party route by checking into a rehab and pleading to the Jewish community that he is not a Jew hater…. Good.. Let the Jewish liberals embrace him and he can be their new cause. … they’re obviously not too concerned with the actions being taken to get back the three heroic Israeli soldiers who were abducted by Hezbollah terrorists.. I had another dream.. This one was about the wacky liberals next convention…”Hey” says the Grand Poo-bah Head Liberal.. “today we must embrace Mel Gibson and encourage everyone to give him another chance.. Of course we won’t forget our poor Hezbollah brothers who are fighting the Israeli occupation”. Just then Nick Zano pops out. “Liberals” he breathlessly announces.. “ There is someone here who wants to be like you… and if you let that person spend 48 hours with you…. You get 2000 dollars!” Wow thinks the liberals as they look behind Zano…. Who wants to be like us??
“But there is nobody standing there Nick“ says the Grand Poo-bah Head Liberal. “I know“ replies the host.. “Y‘see people don’t want to be like you because you guys spend too much time worrying about the terrorists who are trying to kill your own people. Besides I bet most of you people supporting "Operation Restore Mel Gibson's Popularity" know the name of Mel Gibson's agent.. but don't know who Shlomo Goldwasser is. And no cheating by running to google!" See folks.. All we need is Nick Zano to explain these things to us.
It’s the coverage of the war that has driven me to MTV.. I just can’t watch CNN anymore.. plus now I see that Daryn Kagan is leaving to start an "inspirational" website. Of course she's inspired.. she wakes up every morning and that Viagra addict Rush Limbaugh isn't lying next to her! Every night I knock on my screen to see if Larry King is paying attention to some of the absurd things that are said on his airwaves…Have you noticed he rarely takes phone calls on his live shows? Heck, Sunday morning Howard Kurtz had a guy on who writes a column right here on blogspot about life in Lebanon… And when Howard asked him about the terrorists… he looked back at Mr. Kurtz and said.. “You mean the freedom fighters?”. Then Larry had some Rabbi from some magazine debating talk show host Dennis Prager about this stupidity regarding negotiating with these terrorists. Even President Bush who I don’t like has enough brains to say “We will not negotiate with terrorists”. I guess the liberals will.. Good thing they weren't running the show during the terrorist hijacking in Entebbe in 1976.. Those hostages would still be sitting at the airport!
And then there is Her Royal Majesty Queen No’or.of Jordan. . In the 70‘s, she was Lisa Halaby, the young incredibly beautiful wife of King Hussein. She looks fantastic for her age.. She‘s in her early 50s and her birthday is August 23rd… … but I don’t think too many people really listen to her when she speaks... I think a lot of viewers mentally undress her imagining her tied to a canopy bedpost with a turban, while snake charmer music hums in the background as King Hussein has his way with her. Her Royal Majesty then majestically swings her tush with one cheek tattoed PRINCE and the other cheek tattooed TON.. a salute to her alma mater! The left cheek tattoo is not to be confused with her son the Prince who was born in 1981.. The same year as MTV.
I did listen to her the other night… but she lost me with her drivel defending terrorists fighting “The Occupation” and Larry just sat there.. (sorry Larry I like you a lot but I gotta criticize you) as she said this is all Israel's fault because they expelled the Palestinians in 1948. In reality it was just days after Israel became Israel that a bunch of its neighbors launched a well planned invasion, and tipped off the "Palestinians" to get the heck out of Dodge. The Palestinians were promised temp housing in other lands and after a few days they could go home after the "New Israel" was destroyed. They left.. but Israel's new military gave its enemies a can of whoop-ass and lo and behold when things quieted down these "Palestinians" wanted to go home again! Its amazing a beautiful woman can be so ugly… and I am sure readers of this blog will never be able to get the image of the Princeton tattoo out of their minds the next time she pops up on the tube!
Here is what I don’t get about these people who defend terrorists. Timothy McVeigh goes and blows up a building in Oklahoma City killing hundreds of innocent people. That’s terrorism.. And even though I am against the death penalty, there was no choice but to execute him. Likewise with the terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center and killed all of those thousands of innocent people. Catch ‘em… and kill ‘em… that is what we do to terrorists. So why exactly are liberal Jews proposing any other option for Hezbollah? How is it any different than the terrorists who attacked us on 9-11? Or Timothy McVeigh?
One other show I caught was 30 Days on FX. I only saw one episode while ducking CNN…It addressed the immigration debate by having a Cuban immigrant who came here legally many years ago (in the era when MTV played videos) spend 30 days living with a family of about 6 or 7 illegal Mexican immigrants cramped into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment. I’m not too opinionated about the whole immigration debate but what really grinds my gears are the immigrants who don’t speak English. Most of the episode was in subtitles because the illegal aliens hadn’t gotten around to learning English. This was a big issue in a town in NJ where there was an uproar about a billboard written entirely in Spanish. I also raised this point in a Star Wars column when I told about how I wanted to buy a Yoda watch at Burger King, but couldn’t read the sign since it was entirely in Spanish. I recently obtained that display and here it is.... and no, I did not steal it!
Getting back to MTV…. For those of you who don’t skew in that demographic that I know I don’t belong in…Why Cant I Be You.. is a well rehearsed show that looks very spontaneous. The person who leads the venture is well coached off screen as the producers put out a rather heart warming story each week.. It’s a big contrast to the ego hits taken on its dating show Next where rejection is the name of the game and the little bimbettes have to go home wondering why Joe Surfboard nexted them and why they’re not loved despite their fake boobies, and miniskirt covered thongs.
WCIBY is actually a nice little show… One Pointdexter girl who hadn’t realized she was cute moved to a new city, and was led around by another transplanted out of towner social butterfly who had started a Yahoo Groups social organization. The wannabe though needed some refinement.. As all she did was talk about Star Wars…yet her coach helped her hook up with a guy. In this case the Jedi was well trained by Yoda. Another episode featured a snowboarder wannabe who followed around this incredibly narcissistic snowboarder who was such a shmuck that the producers obviously had a little chat with him… because he instantly turned into a sweet guy as the producers dangled a 2000 dollar carrot. Right now I’m watching this socially awkward girl from Seattle named Maddie who idolizes Amy.. her school‘s social butterfly…and you know that by the end of the episode Maddie will look totally hot and have the boys chasing her. Actually Maddie very much resembles Deb in Napolean Dynamite.. You almost expect her to start selling Glamour Shots.
Just keep the young wanna be away from Uncle Rico… or is he too busy going back to 1981 to start his junior year on the football team…..in the Summer of MTV….
This past week marked 25 years since the summer of ‘81 when the network launched with "Video Killed the Radio Star" and the oh so hip teenyboppers boldly declared “I want my MTV”. The station which used to consist of music videos has evolved into a lineup of reality shows catering to a younger set. Nowadays, if you want to watch music on TV, you can always tune in to the commercial free music stations on your digital cable/satellite system.
This summer, I have gotten really tired of watching the Middle Eastern coverage on the news, so I have been tuning in to the late night MTV line-up… basically consisting of the dating show Next and the Feel Good makeover program “Why Can’t I Be You?“ Just in case you're not familiar with the premise of WCIBY, it’s a makeover show for the MTV Generation where the teenyboppers point out a peer they envy.. The host Nick Zano barges in on the hero at a very inopportune time.. and offers that person 2k to spend 48 hours with aforementioned person… hoping that in 48 hours the wannabe is more like his hero. But I may have to stop watching it late at night.. because the show has been working its way into my dreams!
In my dream I was driving my car. I was very sober. A policeman’s siren went off behind me and the cop pulled me over. An officer named Levine walked up to me and asked me if I was sober. I said yes. He wished me a good evening. And I very politely asked him.. ,…. “Levine… hmmm.. Are You Jewish?” Just then Nick Zano, the host of Why Can’t I Be You popped out from behind the police car. “Nate”… he exclaimed breathlessly…”There is someone here who wants to be like you…. And if you let that person spend 48 hours with you.. You get 2000 dollars!”. “Wow that‘s a lot of money Nick, .. All I did was drive sober and politely ask a cop if he is Jewish.. Who wants to be like me?”
There from out of the woods emerged Mel Gibson.
His career is like the end of a video game.. Game Over.. And now that his True Colors have come through we all know him for the Jew hater he really is. All his denials that his movie “The Passion of the Christ” was not based on the Anti Semitism of his father obviously show that the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Nice try by the LAPD to cover it up, but the Career Over light is on.. Now if David Duke needs a producer if he decides to launch another political campaign….
I do like how Melvin is taking the pity party route by checking into a rehab and pleading to the Jewish community that he is not a Jew hater…. Good.. Let the Jewish liberals embrace him and he can be their new cause. … they’re obviously not too concerned with the actions being taken to get back the three heroic Israeli soldiers who were abducted by Hezbollah terrorists.. I had another dream.. This one was about the wacky liberals next convention…”Hey” says the Grand Poo-bah Head Liberal.. “today we must embrace Mel Gibson and encourage everyone to give him another chance.. Of course we won’t forget our poor Hezbollah brothers who are fighting the Israeli occupation”. Just then Nick Zano pops out. “Liberals” he breathlessly announces.. “ There is someone here who wants to be like you… and if you let that person spend 48 hours with you…. You get 2000 dollars!” Wow thinks the liberals as they look behind Zano…. Who wants to be like us??
“But there is nobody standing there Nick“ says the Grand Poo-bah Head Liberal. “I know“ replies the host.. “Y‘see people don’t want to be like you because you guys spend too much time worrying about the terrorists who are trying to kill your own people. Besides I bet most of you people supporting "Operation Restore Mel Gibson's Popularity" know the name of Mel Gibson's agent.. but don't know who Shlomo Goldwasser is. And no cheating by running to google!" See folks.. All we need is Nick Zano to explain these things to us.
It’s the coverage of the war that has driven me to MTV.. I just can’t watch CNN anymore.. plus now I see that Daryn Kagan is leaving to start an "inspirational" website. Of course she's inspired.. she wakes up every morning and that Viagra addict Rush Limbaugh isn't lying next to her! Every night I knock on my screen to see if Larry King is paying attention to some of the absurd things that are said on his airwaves…Have you noticed he rarely takes phone calls on his live shows? Heck, Sunday morning Howard Kurtz had a guy on who writes a column right here on blogspot about life in Lebanon… And when Howard asked him about the terrorists… he looked back at Mr. Kurtz and said.. “You mean the freedom fighters?”. Then Larry had some Rabbi from some magazine debating talk show host Dennis Prager about this stupidity regarding negotiating with these terrorists. Even President Bush who I don’t like has enough brains to say “We will not negotiate with terrorists”. I guess the liberals will.. Good thing they weren't running the show during the terrorist hijacking in Entebbe in 1976.. Those hostages would still be sitting at the airport!
And then there is Her Royal Majesty Queen No’or.of Jordan. . In the 70‘s, she was Lisa Halaby, the young incredibly beautiful wife of King Hussein. She looks fantastic for her age.. She‘s in her early 50s and her birthday is August 23rd… … but I don’t think too many people really listen to her when she speaks... I think a lot of viewers mentally undress her imagining her tied to a canopy bedpost with a turban, while snake charmer music hums in the background as King Hussein has his way with her. Her Royal Majesty then majestically swings her tush with one cheek tattoed PRINCE and the other cheek tattooed TON.. a salute to her alma mater! The left cheek tattoo is not to be confused with her son the Prince who was born in 1981.. The same year as MTV.
I did listen to her the other night… but she lost me with her drivel defending terrorists fighting “The Occupation” and Larry just sat there.. (sorry Larry I like you a lot but I gotta criticize you) as she said this is all Israel's fault because they expelled the Palestinians in 1948. In reality it was just days after Israel became Israel that a bunch of its neighbors launched a well planned invasion, and tipped off the "Palestinians" to get the heck out of Dodge. The Palestinians were promised temp housing in other lands and after a few days they could go home after the "New Israel" was destroyed. They left.. but Israel's new military gave its enemies a can of whoop-ass and lo and behold when things quieted down these "Palestinians" wanted to go home again! Its amazing a beautiful woman can be so ugly… and I am sure readers of this blog will never be able to get the image of the Princeton tattoo out of their minds the next time she pops up on the tube!
Here is what I don’t get about these people who defend terrorists. Timothy McVeigh goes and blows up a building in Oklahoma City killing hundreds of innocent people. That’s terrorism.. And even though I am against the death penalty, there was no choice but to execute him. Likewise with the terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center and killed all of those thousands of innocent people. Catch ‘em… and kill ‘em… that is what we do to terrorists. So why exactly are liberal Jews proposing any other option for Hezbollah? How is it any different than the terrorists who attacked us on 9-11? Or Timothy McVeigh?
One other show I caught was 30 Days on FX. I only saw one episode while ducking CNN…It addressed the immigration debate by having a Cuban immigrant who came here legally many years ago (in the era when MTV played videos) spend 30 days living with a family of about 6 or 7 illegal Mexican immigrants cramped into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment. I’m not too opinionated about the whole immigration debate but what really grinds my gears are the immigrants who don’t speak English. Most of the episode was in subtitles because the illegal aliens hadn’t gotten around to learning English. This was a big issue in a town in NJ where there was an uproar about a billboard written entirely in Spanish. I also raised this point in a Star Wars column when I told about how I wanted to buy a Yoda watch at Burger King, but couldn’t read the sign since it was entirely in Spanish. I recently obtained that display and here it is.... and no, I did not steal it!
Getting back to MTV…. For those of you who don’t skew in that demographic that I know I don’t belong in…Why Cant I Be You.. is a well rehearsed show that looks very spontaneous. The person who leads the venture is well coached off screen as the producers put out a rather heart warming story each week.. It’s a big contrast to the ego hits taken on its dating show Next where rejection is the name of the game and the little bimbettes have to go home wondering why Joe Surfboard nexted them and why they’re not loved despite their fake boobies, and miniskirt covered thongs.
WCIBY is actually a nice little show… One Pointdexter girl who hadn’t realized she was cute moved to a new city, and was led around by another transplanted out of towner social butterfly who had started a Yahoo Groups social organization. The wannabe though needed some refinement.. As all she did was talk about Star Wars…yet her coach helped her hook up with a guy. In this case the Jedi was well trained by Yoda. Another episode featured a snowboarder wannabe who followed around this incredibly narcissistic snowboarder who was such a shmuck that the producers obviously had a little chat with him… because he instantly turned into a sweet guy as the producers dangled a 2000 dollar carrot. Right now I’m watching this socially awkward girl from Seattle named Maddie who idolizes Amy.. her school‘s social butterfly…and you know that by the end of the episode Maddie will look totally hot and have the boys chasing her. Actually Maddie very much resembles Deb in Napolean Dynamite.. You almost expect her to start selling Glamour Shots.
Just keep the young wanna be away from Uncle Rico… or is he too busy going back to 1981 to start his junior year on the football team…..in the Summer of MTV….
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Movie Club: From Yoda to Vigoda - An Offer You Can't Refuse
Hello Movie Club Peeps.. Its time once again for a movie club column as we kick off our Summer Movie Club Series of Godfather Movies.. For those of you new to this blog, we kicked it off last year when I watched the six Star Wars movies in chronological order, and this summer we continue with The Godfather anthology. So basically we go from Yoda to Vigoda.
It was cool to see a movie with Abe Vigoda where he still looked somewhat young. Keep in mind that the movie was made a mere 3 years before Barney Miller... A show where he looked very old… yet he has barely aged in the 30 years since that show premiered. Oddly enough, check out Max Gail who played Wojo.. He looked very young on that show, yet once its run ended.. he aged about 20 years almost overnight when he grew facial hair on his baby face and stopped wearing his toupee.
Vigoda came to mind recently when I saw a blind item in the Daily News about a "top secret love affair" involving 2 sitcom co stars who are now secretly dating now that one of the couple has reached the legal age of consent. A lot of bloggers think this refers to rumors that John Stamos is dating one of those Olsen twins... but I thought that the actress who played the baby adopted by Vigoda in the Fish spinoff had now grown up and was dating that stud Abe.... Or it could be Cloris Leachman started dating one of those kiddies on "Malcolm in the Middle". I wonder if Stamos and the Olsen Twin stay up watching Nick at Night to re-watch the scenes they did together on Full House…Hey remember when we got locked in the gas station and you missed your birthday party?
And why you may speculate did it take so long to get this column together?.... Good luck trying to find the Godfather as a Blockbuster Rental. I went to 3 pretty well stocked Blockbusters and nobody had it for rent.. they did have it for sale for about 20 bucks. I think video stores are about to undergo another major transformation. Years ago there used to be all those Mom and Pop video stores that rented out videotapes until they were swallowed up by the big franchise stores. Then tapes were phased out in favor of dvds.
Here comes the next trend: Blockbuster phased out late fees so now people who like the movie they rent just keep the dvd for the price of the movie plus a "restocking fee". That’s why i couldn’t find any copies of “The Godfather“.. Nobody returns ’em. However, dvds are so cheap to manufacture compared to videotapes, that you can buy dvd’s for about the same as the cost of renting them.. (except for those new grocery store kiosks which rent 'em for a buck and sell 'em for about 20). Take a look at the video store next time you go.. the rental space has decreased... and now the stores are increasing their sales. Maybe that started with TV shows on DVD that are hard to rent because they take hours to watch?. And if I’m not mistaken, I think it was Johnny Carson who started this trend when he made the bold decision to sell old tapes of “The Tonight Show”. This is the wave of the future. Forget about the "restocking" fee replacing unreturned movies.. ... That’s just a fee charged to people who keep their rental movies to offset the profit they will make when they resell them on Ebay.
I didn’t buy Godfather at Blockbuster. but found it for 10 bucks at Best Buy. I also bought four movies for 10 bucks at B-buster.. although getting a fourth good movie was a bit of a challenge. One movie that was inexplicably on the discount rack was last years Oscar Winner Crash.. a perfectly narrated thought provoking masterpeace of a movie that uses the word "blank" better than a Match Game Marathon! It was also quite unpredictable unlike “For Better or For Worse” where everybody knows that Elizabeth is going to hook up with her old boyfriend (now divorced) at her friend’s car dealership at about the same moment that her current boyfriend dumps her.
It’s kind of interesting that I bought Crash while looking for The Godfather. Both are excellent movies and show different stages of loyalty people feel to their family. But Crash dispels a lot of prejudicial presumptions while The Godfather plays into a lot of the stereotypes one would associate with an organized crime family. Crash does have a remarkable amount of coincidence in terms of how the storylines overlap that has not been pulled off as well since Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City. (I’m sure Dangerspouse will be happy that I have a reference to PBS here!) Seinfeld also utilized that type of storytelling technique tying in unrelated storylines in a nice little bow, as they made the ride to the finish line a funny adventure.
The Godfather’s screenplay is with a few exceptions very true to the original book written by Mario Puzo. The movie opens up at a wedding as Al Pacino figuratively takes a bullhorn and announces to the world that he is ready to launch his incredible acting career. He tells his girlfriend Kay (played by an oh so young Diane Keaton,) the background of his family. It’s an interesting perspective since Al’s Michael Corleone is a Marine who looks at his family’s business from the perspective of the outside looking in. Michael is a military man.. a definite outsider whose dedication to not being part of “the life” is only overshadowed by his loyalty to his father.. The Godfather Don Vito Corleone. played by the legend Marlon Brando. (I still can’t figure out how he was able to concentrate during that bathtub scene in “Last Tango in Paris”.. what an actor!)
Michael nonchalantly tells her about how his dad muscled his way with a music agent by “making him an offer he couldn’t refuse” which basically meant do it my way or I’ll shoot you.. Or in this case a contract can contain his signature or his brains. When she is shocked he points out to her…”That’s my family… it’s not me”. Hmmmm, maybe not. Ironically this all takes place at his sister’s wedding.. Later in the movie he will be The Godfather to his sister’s baby… but right after the baby’s baptism… he has the Baby’s daddy killed. which he then denies to his wife with a twisted logic later seen by Bill Clinton when he said he did not have “sex” with Monica Lewinsky. I wonder if years later, Michael and that kid go through the family albums.. “Hey that was taken at your Baptism.. That was the day I killed your daddy!”
The plot gets moving at the wedding where a singer appeals to the Godfather for some help getting a part in a movie. A popular singer linked to Organized Crime crossing over to acting and then becoming a bigshot in Vegas? Who could that be based on? Anyway, after movie mogul Jack Woltz wakes up and screams his lungs out when he finds himself in bed with his horse's head... the very next scene is with Don Corleone and potential drug kingpin Sollozo.. Corleone’s decision to stay out of the narcotics business and Sollozo’s decision to cut out the big shots within the Corleone family lead to the showdown between Sollozo and Michael Corleone….. the turning point in the movie where Michael sheds his identity as a Marine outsider and places himself smack dab right in the middle of the family business.
It’s interesting how the military parallels the rules involving the “family lifestyle”. Military respects rank and answers to authority yet we see scenes where someone dares to question authority.. At one point Michael Corleone tells his brother never to take sides against the family business when an issue comes up regarding the purchase of a Vegas casino. In another scene, one of the family members questions Don Corleone about not getting involved in the narcotics industry after he says no thank you to Sollozo’s drug dealing offer. Meanwhile another major turning point involves a corrupt cop who is on Sollozo’s payroll being questioned about roughing up Michael outside his father‘s hospital where is recuperating from a hit ordered by Sollozo.. Sollozo is also the guy who utters the classic line.. “try the veal”…
Ultimately that is the turning point where Michael begins his ascension to the top of the Family hierarchy. After getting a can of whoop-ass from the cop who should have been making sure that the hospitalized Don Corleone is safe while recuperating from gunshot wounds, Michael spends a lot of time with a broken jaw sounding very much like Morey Amsterdam. You almost expect Rose Marie and Dick Van Dyke to come out and make Richard Deacon jokes. Nonetheless, Michael takes care of business and then scoots his way to Italy where he meets a hot babe. His non traditional courtship consists of his giving her dad an offer he can’t refuse.. “his daughter can gain a husband or lose a father”. Incidentally he meets her while she is out walking with some children.. The same scenario where he runs into Kay in an attempt to reconcile. Do these gangsters come out of the woodwork when kiddies are around because it’s safe? That’s a move right out of the Hezbollah playbook where the terrorists hide like cowards among innocent children.
Incidentally, you wonder what Michael Corleone's Marine career was like. The movie takes place right after World War II, and it seems like Mike has some pent up anger that he takes out on people who cross him up. Keep in mind that Brando's Vito would threaten people with "offers they can't refuse".. but when push came to shove he'd behead a horsey or two. He didn't take revenge when a son was murdered, but instead went to arrange a peace pact with the other gangster bigshots. On the other hand, Michael gets a little roughed up and the next thing you know restaurant patrons are requesting tables in the shooting or non-shooting section.
The pacing and sense of dread is skillfully presented thanks to some excellent direction. There’s also a sense of anticipation that you just know deep down inside that something really really bad is about to happen. When Jack Woltz, the horse owner woke up, I sat up in terror rushing to lower the volume on my dvd player knowing full well that the moment he would discover his horsey’s head, his reaction would be a bloodcurdling scream that I hope wouldn’t wake the neighbors. The soundtrack is excellent and it’s quite cool to see such young versions of Robert Duvall and James Caan who had just achieved teenybopper status with the tearjerker “Brian’s Song”. The only minor issue is the movie is a bit too long and its hard to follow the names of the characters.. I had to see it twice and check out IMDB to get my facts straight for this column. Nonetheless, on a scale of one to four bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Godfather I is a four bladder movie… And even though its not quite in The Godfather’s league… Crash is also a four bladder movie. Wow, 8 bladders in one place.. Its almost like the men’s room at sweltering Giants Stadium at Saturday Night’s Bon Jovi concert!
It was cool to see a movie with Abe Vigoda where he still looked somewhat young. Keep in mind that the movie was made a mere 3 years before Barney Miller... A show where he looked very old… yet he has barely aged in the 30 years since that show premiered. Oddly enough, check out Max Gail who played Wojo.. He looked very young on that show, yet once its run ended.. he aged about 20 years almost overnight when he grew facial hair on his baby face and stopped wearing his toupee.
Vigoda came to mind recently when I saw a blind item in the Daily News about a "top secret love affair" involving 2 sitcom co stars who are now secretly dating now that one of the couple has reached the legal age of consent. A lot of bloggers think this refers to rumors that John Stamos is dating one of those Olsen twins... but I thought that the actress who played the baby adopted by Vigoda in the Fish spinoff had now grown up and was dating that stud Abe.... Or it could be Cloris Leachman started dating one of those kiddies on "Malcolm in the Middle". I wonder if Stamos and the Olsen Twin stay up watching Nick at Night to re-watch the scenes they did together on Full House…Hey remember when we got locked in the gas station and you missed your birthday party?
And why you may speculate did it take so long to get this column together?.... Good luck trying to find the Godfather as a Blockbuster Rental. I went to 3 pretty well stocked Blockbusters and nobody had it for rent.. they did have it for sale for about 20 bucks. I think video stores are about to undergo another major transformation. Years ago there used to be all those Mom and Pop video stores that rented out videotapes until they were swallowed up by the big franchise stores. Then tapes were phased out in favor of dvds.
Here comes the next trend: Blockbuster phased out late fees so now people who like the movie they rent just keep the dvd for the price of the movie plus a "restocking fee". That’s why i couldn’t find any copies of “The Godfather“.. Nobody returns ’em. However, dvds are so cheap to manufacture compared to videotapes, that you can buy dvd’s for about the same as the cost of renting them.. (except for those new grocery store kiosks which rent 'em for a buck and sell 'em for about 20). Take a look at the video store next time you go.. the rental space has decreased... and now the stores are increasing their sales. Maybe that started with TV shows on DVD that are hard to rent because they take hours to watch?. And if I’m not mistaken, I think it was Johnny Carson who started this trend when he made the bold decision to sell old tapes of “The Tonight Show”. This is the wave of the future. Forget about the "restocking" fee replacing unreturned movies.. ... That’s just a fee charged to people who keep their rental movies to offset the profit they will make when they resell them on Ebay.
I didn’t buy Godfather at Blockbuster. but found it for 10 bucks at Best Buy. I also bought four movies for 10 bucks at B-buster.. although getting a fourth good movie was a bit of a challenge. One movie that was inexplicably on the discount rack was last years Oscar Winner Crash.. a perfectly narrated thought provoking masterpeace of a movie that uses the word "blank" better than a Match Game Marathon! It was also quite unpredictable unlike “For Better or For Worse” where everybody knows that Elizabeth is going to hook up with her old boyfriend (now divorced) at her friend’s car dealership at about the same moment that her current boyfriend dumps her.
It’s kind of interesting that I bought Crash while looking for The Godfather. Both are excellent movies and show different stages of loyalty people feel to their family. But Crash dispels a lot of prejudicial presumptions while The Godfather plays into a lot of the stereotypes one would associate with an organized crime family. Crash does have a remarkable amount of coincidence in terms of how the storylines overlap that has not been pulled off as well since Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City. (I’m sure Dangerspouse will be happy that I have a reference to PBS here!) Seinfeld also utilized that type of storytelling technique tying in unrelated storylines in a nice little bow, as they made the ride to the finish line a funny adventure.
The Godfather’s screenplay is with a few exceptions very true to the original book written by Mario Puzo. The movie opens up at a wedding as Al Pacino figuratively takes a bullhorn and announces to the world that he is ready to launch his incredible acting career. He tells his girlfriend Kay (played by an oh so young Diane Keaton,) the background of his family. It’s an interesting perspective since Al’s Michael Corleone is a Marine who looks at his family’s business from the perspective of the outside looking in. Michael is a military man.. a definite outsider whose dedication to not being part of “the life” is only overshadowed by his loyalty to his father.. The Godfather Don Vito Corleone. played by the legend Marlon Brando. (I still can’t figure out how he was able to concentrate during that bathtub scene in “Last Tango in Paris”.. what an actor!)
Michael nonchalantly tells her about how his dad muscled his way with a music agent by “making him an offer he couldn’t refuse” which basically meant do it my way or I’ll shoot you.. Or in this case a contract can contain his signature or his brains. When she is shocked he points out to her…”That’s my family… it’s not me”. Hmmmm, maybe not. Ironically this all takes place at his sister’s wedding.. Later in the movie he will be The Godfather to his sister’s baby… but right after the baby’s baptism… he has the Baby’s daddy killed. which he then denies to his wife with a twisted logic later seen by Bill Clinton when he said he did not have “sex” with Monica Lewinsky. I wonder if years later, Michael and that kid go through the family albums.. “Hey that was taken at your Baptism.. That was the day I killed your daddy!”
The plot gets moving at the wedding where a singer appeals to the Godfather for some help getting a part in a movie. A popular singer linked to Organized Crime crossing over to acting and then becoming a bigshot in Vegas? Who could that be based on? Anyway, after movie mogul Jack Woltz wakes up and screams his lungs out when he finds himself in bed with his horse's head... the very next scene is with Don Corleone and potential drug kingpin Sollozo.. Corleone’s decision to stay out of the narcotics business and Sollozo’s decision to cut out the big shots within the Corleone family lead to the showdown between Sollozo and Michael Corleone….. the turning point in the movie where Michael sheds his identity as a Marine outsider and places himself smack dab right in the middle of the family business.
It’s interesting how the military parallels the rules involving the “family lifestyle”. Military respects rank and answers to authority yet we see scenes where someone dares to question authority.. At one point Michael Corleone tells his brother never to take sides against the family business when an issue comes up regarding the purchase of a Vegas casino. In another scene, one of the family members questions Don Corleone about not getting involved in the narcotics industry after he says no thank you to Sollozo’s drug dealing offer. Meanwhile another major turning point involves a corrupt cop who is on Sollozo’s payroll being questioned about roughing up Michael outside his father‘s hospital where is recuperating from a hit ordered by Sollozo.. Sollozo is also the guy who utters the classic line.. “try the veal”…
Ultimately that is the turning point where Michael begins his ascension to the top of the Family hierarchy. After getting a can of whoop-ass from the cop who should have been making sure that the hospitalized Don Corleone is safe while recuperating from gunshot wounds, Michael spends a lot of time with a broken jaw sounding very much like Morey Amsterdam. You almost expect Rose Marie and Dick Van Dyke to come out and make Richard Deacon jokes. Nonetheless, Michael takes care of business and then scoots his way to Italy where he meets a hot babe. His non traditional courtship consists of his giving her dad an offer he can’t refuse.. “his daughter can gain a husband or lose a father”. Incidentally he meets her while she is out walking with some children.. The same scenario where he runs into Kay in an attempt to reconcile. Do these gangsters come out of the woodwork when kiddies are around because it’s safe? That’s a move right out of the Hezbollah playbook where the terrorists hide like cowards among innocent children.
Incidentally, you wonder what Michael Corleone's Marine career was like. The movie takes place right after World War II, and it seems like Mike has some pent up anger that he takes out on people who cross him up. Keep in mind that Brando's Vito would threaten people with "offers they can't refuse".. but when push came to shove he'd behead a horsey or two. He didn't take revenge when a son was murdered, but instead went to arrange a peace pact with the other gangster bigshots. On the other hand, Michael gets a little roughed up and the next thing you know restaurant patrons are requesting tables in the shooting or non-shooting section.
The pacing and sense of dread is skillfully presented thanks to some excellent direction. There’s also a sense of anticipation that you just know deep down inside that something really really bad is about to happen. When Jack Woltz, the horse owner woke up, I sat up in terror rushing to lower the volume on my dvd player knowing full well that the moment he would discover his horsey’s head, his reaction would be a bloodcurdling scream that I hope wouldn’t wake the neighbors. The soundtrack is excellent and it’s quite cool to see such young versions of Robert Duvall and James Caan who had just achieved teenybopper status with the tearjerker “Brian’s Song”. The only minor issue is the movie is a bit too long and its hard to follow the names of the characters.. I had to see it twice and check out IMDB to get my facts straight for this column. Nonetheless, on a scale of one to four bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Godfather I is a four bladder movie… And even though its not quite in The Godfather’s league… Crash is also a four bladder movie. Wow, 8 bladders in one place.. Its almost like the men’s room at sweltering Giants Stadium at Saturday Night’s Bon Jovi concert!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
DAS - He's a Liberal.. But Despite That He's Still a Good Guy - Podcast Part II
Today we present Part II of our chat with DAS from DAS blog… Despite his liberal beliefs, we like him anyway. Today in Part II he talks more about his politics and as an added treat, since he bears an uncanny resemblance to my former Rabbi, he also chats about the weekly Torah portion.
This brings back memories of the synagogue we attended when we lived in Central Jersey until my mom sold her house in Union County in ‘97. As I mentioned in the Feb. 14th column I also got married there in 2004. Over the years, I spent a lot of time there…. usually trying not to getting caught yapping...
Since I came from a German family, the time that I arrived at services was always a topic of discussion… But when my mom would ask what time I got there… I had to clarify if it was the time I entered the building.. or the time I got to my seat… Y’see, I'm a social butterfly plus we also had a little group there called “The Nate Club”,… a little group of us whose membership consisted of being named Nate. One of those Nates who was fondly referred to as “Uncle Nate” passed away recently. He used to sit at the first seat after you entered the sanctuary, and it would be totally unheard of if I strolled to my seat without first visiting Uncle Nate, and it was always nice to catch up with what was going on with him. Therefore synagogue arrival time and seat arrival time were two very different times.
Uncle Nate was a big shot with the local public school system and in the early 80s when I was struggling with high school science he very kindly loaned me this new science text book that he had obtained…. He told me it was very valuable and not to lose it… which I promptly did.. Although it might have been stolen from me. Nonetheless.. Nate… science book… not together! I of course had to break the news to him.. And his reaction was why he was always a role model to me. He didn’t rant and rave and yell or scream but he very calmly made it very clear to me how disappointed he was in me which made me feel incredibly guilty. Over the years he would bring it up to me every once in awhile with a little twinkle in his eye that I knew I would never live it down.
After we moved out of Union County in ‘97, I saw Uncle Nate several times over the years. (Actually I lived in Woodbridge about a block away from the Union County line, so technically I was barely in Middlesex. The Union County Middlesex County line runs down the middle of the Pathmark so technically you could have a sandwich where the bread was bought in Union County and the tuna was bought in Middlesex County.) Uncle Nate was still looking pretty good into his mid 80s. About a year ago we got a call that he was not doing so well so we ventured off to pay him a visit. You could tell right away he wasn’t his old self. He was looking at the Sunday Paper and it took him awhile to remember who I was… He had been friends with my parents so it took some time to jog his memory, and even though he hadn’t seen me in about 3 years he eventually remembered who I was.. Even though he looked a lot younger than 87, it was obvious that he was having trouble with his memory... because a few minutes later he was having trouble remembering me.
I looked at Trophy Wife and told her… “Did you know Uncle Nate used to be a big shot in the local public school system?”… And without missing a beat, Uncle Nate looked at her and casually remarked.. “I sure was…… And your husband lost my science book!”. Then he looked at me and with a hint of that little gleam reminded me… “It was a physics book too!”
The floor there was very clean. I know that because I picked my jaw up from it!
Now here is Part II with DAS…. Click play or hit the icon at the title to play it in your Windows Media Player.
Next week: We go from the Nate Club to the Movie Club with Godfather I.
This brings back memories of the synagogue we attended when we lived in Central Jersey until my mom sold her house in Union County in ‘97. As I mentioned in the Feb. 14th column I also got married there in 2004. Over the years, I spent a lot of time there…. usually trying not to getting caught yapping...
Since I came from a German family, the time that I arrived at services was always a topic of discussion… But when my mom would ask what time I got there… I had to clarify if it was the time I entered the building.. or the time I got to my seat… Y’see, I'm a social butterfly plus we also had a little group there called “The Nate Club”,… a little group of us whose membership consisted of being named Nate. One of those Nates who was fondly referred to as “Uncle Nate” passed away recently. He used to sit at the first seat after you entered the sanctuary, and it would be totally unheard of if I strolled to my seat without first visiting Uncle Nate, and it was always nice to catch up with what was going on with him. Therefore synagogue arrival time and seat arrival time were two very different times.
Uncle Nate was a big shot with the local public school system and in the early 80s when I was struggling with high school science he very kindly loaned me this new science text book that he had obtained…. He told me it was very valuable and not to lose it… which I promptly did.. Although it might have been stolen from me. Nonetheless.. Nate… science book… not together! I of course had to break the news to him.. And his reaction was why he was always a role model to me. He didn’t rant and rave and yell or scream but he very calmly made it very clear to me how disappointed he was in me which made me feel incredibly guilty. Over the years he would bring it up to me every once in awhile with a little twinkle in his eye that I knew I would never live it down.
After we moved out of Union County in ‘97, I saw Uncle Nate several times over the years. (Actually I lived in Woodbridge about a block away from the Union County line, so technically I was barely in Middlesex. The Union County Middlesex County line runs down the middle of the Pathmark so technically you could have a sandwich where the bread was bought in Union County and the tuna was bought in Middlesex County.) Uncle Nate was still looking pretty good into his mid 80s. About a year ago we got a call that he was not doing so well so we ventured off to pay him a visit. You could tell right away he wasn’t his old self. He was looking at the Sunday Paper and it took him awhile to remember who I was… He had been friends with my parents so it took some time to jog his memory, and even though he hadn’t seen me in about 3 years he eventually remembered who I was.. Even though he looked a lot younger than 87, it was obvious that he was having trouble with his memory... because a few minutes later he was having trouble remembering me.
I looked at Trophy Wife and told her… “Did you know Uncle Nate used to be a big shot in the local public school system?”… And without missing a beat, Uncle Nate looked at her and casually remarked.. “I sure was…… And your husband lost my science book!”. Then he looked at me and with a hint of that little gleam reminded me… “It was a physics book too!”
The floor there was very clean. I know that because I picked my jaw up from it!
Now here is Part II with DAS…. Click play or hit the icon at the title to play it in your Windows Media Player.
Next week: We go from the Nate Club to the Movie Club with Godfather I.
Monday, July 17, 2006
DAS Goes Liberal... What Went Wrong? Part 1 of our Podcast Chat
On today’s podcast we chat with DAS from DAS Blog.. A nice guy who for some misguided reason has decided to go liberal. He used to live nearby in Edison and I met him when he belonged to the same organization as Trophy Wife. He was mentioned in Nate‘s World of Words (see the March 9th column in the archives) as my nominee to replace Ron Kuby as Curtis Sliwa’s liberal morning co-host on WABC. I think Kuby should have been fired when he was a defense witness when John Gotti Jr was on trial for trying to have Sliwa killed. The case ended in a hung jury and will be retried later this year.. but it was a big stab in the back by Kuby who would be a big nobody if it wasn't for Sliwa. Despite DAS’s liberal beliefs I like him anyway, so maybe this podcast might give the WABC powers that be another option for that morning slot.
You will hear in Part II that I asked him about his lack of commentary about Israel. Since we recorded this chat last week he did post a column and now I wonder why I opened my big mouth.
I am definitely far from liberal when it comes to Israel. But, in his Israel column.. I just can’t agree when DAS mentions the concept of the punishment fitting the crime and maybe bombing the hell out of the terrorists is a bit much and Israel should just abduct 2 of their soldiers instead.
Imagine a bunch of sex offenders get together and decide that they are going to kidnap and imprison a few of the Special Victims Unit cops. They announce the cops will be freed when more sex offenders are freed. You couldn’t sell enough tickets to watch the SWAT team storm that hostage house and kill those molesters. .
Legally speaking TREASON is a worse crime than child molesting.. And these terrorists who plot against the gov’t of Israel are treasonists. So when they kidnap soldiers and want other treasonist prisoners released… that is not a fair trade. These criminals are behind bars for a reason and do not deserve to be freed.. And if they were caught molesting young girls no bleeding hearts would be pleading for their release.. (except the ACLU.. They’ll take on any wacko cause)
And how do you punish a criminal? Well using the molester analogy, do you molest the molester… or do you imprison them for life? Likewise with the terrorist.. Do we just kidnap a couple of their men and ask for a trade like they are baseball players. Is a little slap on the wrist going to deter these terrorists from attacking again? Or doesn’t it make sense that a thorough destruction of the heart of the terrorist base is the only solution?. And since it looks like those Jew marked missiles that are landing in Haifa are coming from Iran.. it wouldn’t be a bad idea to let out a can of whoop-ass there too. Remember in the early 80s how Israel was so harshly criticized by many of these very same liberals for bombing out the Iraqi nuclear reactor?
Now back on January 29th (see the archives) we commented on an article in the much missed now defunct Jewish State newspaper where some goofball from Edison criticized a Rabbi there for asking the assembled crowd to pray for the death of the Iranian President during a Hannukah candle lighting ceremony. The letter writer ripped into the Rabbi….and instead put out this lovely nugget,…. “We should pray for the President of Iran to receive the knowledge and understanding that the Holocaust was an absolute tragic event in Jewish History”…OK.. How about we get all these Haifa residents to pray while these Iranian produced missiles continue to attack their homes! Can you imagine if the Jewish State had been publishing during the early days of World War II? “Oh don’t wish bad things on Hitler.. Lets pray for him”.
In light of those Iranian created missiles, I would like to invite that letter writer to have lunch with me so we can pose for a picture while I am wearing my “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt.
Here is a pic of DAS with some loonie kazoonie with a mullet acting like a cheerleader! (DAS is the one without the pompoms)
And now Ladies and Gentlemen… Part I of my buddy DAS…. Part II will be up later this week..
You will hear in Part II that I asked him about his lack of commentary about Israel. Since we recorded this chat last week he did post a column and now I wonder why I opened my big mouth.
I am definitely far from liberal when it comes to Israel. But, in his Israel column.. I just can’t agree when DAS mentions the concept of the punishment fitting the crime and maybe bombing the hell out of the terrorists is a bit much and Israel should just abduct 2 of their soldiers instead.
Imagine a bunch of sex offenders get together and decide that they are going to kidnap and imprison a few of the Special Victims Unit cops. They announce the cops will be freed when more sex offenders are freed. You couldn’t sell enough tickets to watch the SWAT team storm that hostage house and kill those molesters. .
Legally speaking TREASON is a worse crime than child molesting.. And these terrorists who plot against the gov’t of Israel are treasonists. So when they kidnap soldiers and want other treasonist prisoners released… that is not a fair trade. These criminals are behind bars for a reason and do not deserve to be freed.. And if they were caught molesting young girls no bleeding hearts would be pleading for their release.. (except the ACLU.. They’ll take on any wacko cause)
And how do you punish a criminal? Well using the molester analogy, do you molest the molester… or do you imprison them for life? Likewise with the terrorist.. Do we just kidnap a couple of their men and ask for a trade like they are baseball players. Is a little slap on the wrist going to deter these terrorists from attacking again? Or doesn’t it make sense that a thorough destruction of the heart of the terrorist base is the only solution?. And since it looks like those Jew marked missiles that are landing in Haifa are coming from Iran.. it wouldn’t be a bad idea to let out a can of whoop-ass there too. Remember in the early 80s how Israel was so harshly criticized by many of these very same liberals for bombing out the Iraqi nuclear reactor?
Now back on January 29th (see the archives) we commented on an article in the much missed now defunct Jewish State newspaper where some goofball from Edison criticized a Rabbi there for asking the assembled crowd to pray for the death of the Iranian President during a Hannukah candle lighting ceremony. The letter writer ripped into the Rabbi….and instead put out this lovely nugget,…. “We should pray for the President of Iran to receive the knowledge and understanding that the Holocaust was an absolute tragic event in Jewish History”…OK.. How about we get all these Haifa residents to pray while these Iranian produced missiles continue to attack their homes! Can you imagine if the Jewish State had been publishing during the early days of World War II? “Oh don’t wish bad things on Hitler.. Lets pray for him”.
In light of those Iranian created missiles, I would like to invite that letter writer to have lunch with me so we can pose for a picture while I am wearing my “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt.
Here is a pic of DAS with some loonie kazoonie with a mullet acting like a cheerleader! (DAS is the one without the pompoms)
And now Ladies and Gentlemen… Part I of my buddy DAS…. Part II will be up later this week..
Monday, July 10, 2006
Baseball '06 at the Half: Kenny vs. Penny
Well folks.. For the first time since the end of May... with the exception of Game Show Marathon, I will be firmly planted on my couch on Tuesday to watch one of my ol’ faves…. as Kenny Rogers and Brad Penny take to the mound for The All Star Game.. an event that unlike the present, used to be an annual festival of National League domination. Today we will look back at the ‘06 season’s first half plus we will dust off the pre season predictions from April, and revise them to see who indeed will be participating in the fall classic.
But first speaking of Game Show Marathon, we already had a column addressing the first four episodes. I didn’t catch Card Sharks, but I did see Match Game and Family Feud.. and I must admit it was pretty neat to see these old shows with their old sets and old theme songs. The Feud board didn’t swing around as it did in the 70s, but instead on GSM was swinging using the magic of computer animation. Also, it was interesting to note that no mention was made of Ray Combs who hosted the CBS version.
As for Match Game.. it wasn’t anywhere near as good as the original.. But nobody expected that. The open was fantastic and it was cool to see the orange flippy thing that opened the thousands of episodes I watched as a kid. I actually started to like Rikki Lake.. She is actually kind of cute (compared to her Hairspray days) and it was amusing to hear her comments that the thinking music reminds her of porno movie music. She even mentioned Ron Jeremy! And it was great to see Betty White but it was obvious that they shouldn’t use modern cross references with a woman in her mid-80’s! Her total unawareness of the MTV show Pimp My Ride actually hurt one of the contestants chances of winning the game.
Overall I liked the whole concept.. I loved Match Game and Press Your Luck and actually think Rikki did a nice job. If they decide to do it again,… they should not have her host the Price Is Right since it is disrespectful to Bob Barker to have another host, and they should also use celebrity contestants who actually like the game shows since contestant enthusiasm is a key factor that makes game shows so enjoyable.
A couple of baseball things I would like to address that grind my gears:
Here’s the term that I don’t like… Walk off home run.. Or walk off hit… Uh.. it’s a game ending hit.. Or game ending home run! They don’t walk off the field… they jump up and down and celebrate and then run into the locker room… But.. Each of those hits ends the game...so call it game ending!
One other thing... I love the All Star Game.. Why do those Fox buffoons feel compelled to make the game “count” by having the All Star game league winner earn home field advantage for the World Series? As Warner Wolf would say… “change the rule”… here is my proposal: After the game, each league has one player crowned as MVP… and if that player’s team makes it to the World Series.. his team gets home field advantage. And if neither mvp’s team makes it that far... (or both mvps make it).. then home field would go to the team with the best record.
In reality, the 162 games are about the teams,… but the All Star Game is about the players. Strategically, if Davids Wright and Ortiz are having a good game.. keep ‘em in a little longer than usual… That way if one of those players (or maybe a pitcher who squeezes out an extra inning) does get the MVP award.. his team will get the home field in the World Series, as opposed to the current dopey rule. What happens if the game is in the 14th inning and Royals Pitcher Mark Redman is on the mound and World Series home field rides on a Royal arm? Don't you think he will serve up a nice juicy game ending home run pitch so he can get out of the stadium, stop for some Mineo's pizza en route to the airport and then get home?
When I was a kid I wouldn’t miss the All Star Game for anything and that continues to adulthood. The NL used to win it every year and it was a rare chance to see the out of town All Stars who I would only see when their teams played the Mets or Yankees. Now with ESPN and fantasy baseball and the ability to closely follow every game, a lot of that magic is gone.. Plus apparently the sport is not as popular among the little pishers like it used to be. Once in the pre VCR early college years, I was invited to a party the night of the game… and I skipped the party. A couple of classmates needed a ride home, so after the game I went to the party and then took them home. One of the people lived across the street from The Scooter Phil Rizutto. It was after midnight, and when I dropped her off, I rolled down my window and bellowed “Holy Cow You Huckleberry”… A light went on in the house, and I quickly jumped in the car and sped out of Hillside as quickly as my Gold Duster would take me! Another year I taped the game to go to some hideous movie premiere for a movie with Hugh Grant and Tom Arnold that should have gone straight to video. But I did watch the game when I got home and avoided finding anything out about the results!
Then there is the infamous tie all star game of 2002 that led to this silliness of making the game “count”. It was also the turning point in how I hooked up with Trophy Wife. Back then I was friendly with her, but due to my sheer stupidity was not too interested in going out with her. A mutual friend had been trying to set us up, and on that very night Mutual Friend was meeting up with a friend who was coming in from out of town. The friend's car broke down a few miles from Mutual Friend's house so Mutual Friend went to pick him up and they went on their merry way. During their lovely evening, she called Trophy Wife who then called me to ask if I had jumper cables or Triple A. I told her I did and to call me at the last possible moment since I was deeply engrossed with the All Star Game.
Trophy Wife called a little while later and invited me over to hang out at her house till Mutual Friend got there.. and I could even watch the game. She only lived 5 minutes away so I hopped in the car… didn’t disturb Phil Rizzuto and headed over there and didn’t miss more than a batter or two. Well as it turned out the guy and his car were truly stuck and he had no way of getting home. So, I ended up driving this fellow all the way home to South Jersey and I didn’t get home till 4:30 the next morning. The next day Mutual Friend was so appreciative that as a gift she gave me movie passes and a certificate to a local restaurant on the condition… that I take Trophy Wife. I took her out the following Sunday, and finally came to my senses that she is a wonderful girl, and right after that we started dating.
So at least one person was happy with that All Star Game!
As for the season itself.. there have been a few interesting trends.. In the National League the Mets have run away with it,.. but all 4 other teams are still in contention for the Wild Card which just goes to show how mediocre the rest of the league is. Tom Glavine has a shot at the Cy Young Award. Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, and St. Louis super-stud Albert Pujols have a nice battle going for the MVP Race. His St. Louis Cardinals can’t seem to run away with the NL Central just yet.. but the Reds who had been off to a great start are starting to tail off as their top 2 pitchers Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo are starting to come back to earth. Over in the West, the Padres have moved into the lead thanks to Mike Piazza starting to rediscover his bat swinging skills that so eluded him the last few years of his career with the Mets.
So lets make some mid season predictions… The Mets and Cardinals look like locks to win the East and Central Divisions since none of the other lame-o teams seem capable of knocking them off their perch. The West and Wild Card are interesting… I’m gonna take the Braves for the Wild Card since Bobby Cox has a way of coaxing the most out of his limited roster so I am going to say right here that the playoff streak will continue.. especially with John Smoltz and Tim Hudson anchoring the pitching staff. Keep in mind they are only 6 games out of the wild card lead. As for the West, my heart says the Rockies because they have some good young players and some uncharacteristically high quality pitching.. But, as I said in the pre season, the Giants have Barry Bonds.. and if he can put together one more half season of Barry Bonds baseball, that would be enough to catapult the Giants to the top of a very weak division. A lot of people like the Dodgers but despite their superb pitching, they will only get so far with Nomar Garciaparra and Jeff Kent anchoring the offense.
As for the American League, The Red Sox still have a 3 game lead over the Yankees.. Reliever Jonathan Papelbon has been incredible and is my choice for MVP.. Where would they be without him? Probably behind the injury plagued pitching starved Yankees and the upstart Blue Jays. Over in the Central, the Tigers and White Sox lead arguably the best division in baseball. The Twins have been playing very well lately with catcher Joe Mauer making a run at .400 but they just cant seem to make up any ground. The Indians who I thought had a great team this season are dead in the water after too many late inning bullpen meltdowns. Over in the West, the A’s have emerged to take a slight lead over the rest of the pack.
As for predictions… I think the Wild Card is coming out of the Central. I would like to be gutsy and pick the Twins who with Johan Santana and Fransisco Liriano have the best top 2 we have seen since the D’backs won the ’01 World Series with Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling. But, the Tigers also have some great players and they have 2 young rookie stud pitchers Justin Verlander and Zach Miner along with the ageless Kenny Rogers. So I’m picking the White Sox to move into first, paced by Cy Young contender Jose Contreras. Im sure the Yankees wish they had him now since they will finish THIRD to the Red Sox and the Blue Jays. What? The Yankees are just as far from the Wild Card as the Braves! Why the Braves and not the Yankees?? That’s because the teams in the AL are much better than the NL wild card wannabes. And the Yankees really need to address the loss of Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield. It also amazes me that the wacky Yankee fans boo Alex Rodriguez. ARod is one Albert Pujols Sr. condom away from being the best player in the game!
Over in the West, the Angels who now have a healthy Bartolo Colon and young rookie stud Jered Weaver along with John Lackey have enough to get them into the playoffs as the AL West Winners. I like how Weaver cracked the rotation… his excellent pitching led to the teams decision to cut his older brother Jeff!! Can you imagine the phone calls to Mom and Dad? First Jered calls.. “Hey Im in the big leagues..”.. then Jeff calls.. “I got cut by the Angels for some rookie putz”….
World Series prediction: How about a rematch of the ‘86 Mets-Red Sox series? Can they get Vin Scully to announce it? “Gets by Buckner… here comes Knight.. And the Mets win it!!”
But first speaking of Game Show Marathon, we already had a column addressing the first four episodes. I didn’t catch Card Sharks, but I did see Match Game and Family Feud.. and I must admit it was pretty neat to see these old shows with their old sets and old theme songs. The Feud board didn’t swing around as it did in the 70s, but instead on GSM was swinging using the magic of computer animation. Also, it was interesting to note that no mention was made of Ray Combs who hosted the CBS version.
As for Match Game.. it wasn’t anywhere near as good as the original.. But nobody expected that. The open was fantastic and it was cool to see the orange flippy thing that opened the thousands of episodes I watched as a kid. I actually started to like Rikki Lake.. She is actually kind of cute (compared to her Hairspray days) and it was amusing to hear her comments that the thinking music reminds her of porno movie music. She even mentioned Ron Jeremy! And it was great to see Betty White but it was obvious that they shouldn’t use modern cross references with a woman in her mid-80’s! Her total unawareness of the MTV show Pimp My Ride actually hurt one of the contestants chances of winning the game.
Overall I liked the whole concept.. I loved Match Game and Press Your Luck and actually think Rikki did a nice job. If they decide to do it again,… they should not have her host the Price Is Right since it is disrespectful to Bob Barker to have another host, and they should also use celebrity contestants who actually like the game shows since contestant enthusiasm is a key factor that makes game shows so enjoyable.
A couple of baseball things I would like to address that grind my gears:
Here’s the term that I don’t like… Walk off home run.. Or walk off hit… Uh.. it’s a game ending hit.. Or game ending home run! They don’t walk off the field… they jump up and down and celebrate and then run into the locker room… But.. Each of those hits ends the game...so call it game ending!
One other thing... I love the All Star Game.. Why do those Fox buffoons feel compelled to make the game “count” by having the All Star game league winner earn home field advantage for the World Series? As Warner Wolf would say… “change the rule”… here is my proposal: After the game, each league has one player crowned as MVP… and if that player’s team makes it to the World Series.. his team gets home field advantage. And if neither mvp’s team makes it that far... (or both mvps make it).. then home field would go to the team with the best record.
In reality, the 162 games are about the teams,… but the All Star Game is about the players. Strategically, if Davids Wright and Ortiz are having a good game.. keep ‘em in a little longer than usual… That way if one of those players (or maybe a pitcher who squeezes out an extra inning) does get the MVP award.. his team will get the home field in the World Series, as opposed to the current dopey rule. What happens if the game is in the 14th inning and Royals Pitcher Mark Redman is on the mound and World Series home field rides on a Royal arm? Don't you think he will serve up a nice juicy game ending home run pitch so he can get out of the stadium, stop for some Mineo's pizza en route to the airport and then get home?
When I was a kid I wouldn’t miss the All Star Game for anything and that continues to adulthood. The NL used to win it every year and it was a rare chance to see the out of town All Stars who I would only see when their teams played the Mets or Yankees. Now with ESPN and fantasy baseball and the ability to closely follow every game, a lot of that magic is gone.. Plus apparently the sport is not as popular among the little pishers like it used to be. Once in the pre VCR early college years, I was invited to a party the night of the game… and I skipped the party. A couple of classmates needed a ride home, so after the game I went to the party and then took them home. One of the people lived across the street from The Scooter Phil Rizutto. It was after midnight, and when I dropped her off, I rolled down my window and bellowed “Holy Cow You Huckleberry”… A light went on in the house, and I quickly jumped in the car and sped out of Hillside as quickly as my Gold Duster would take me! Another year I taped the game to go to some hideous movie premiere for a movie with Hugh Grant and Tom Arnold that should have gone straight to video. But I did watch the game when I got home and avoided finding anything out about the results!
Then there is the infamous tie all star game of 2002 that led to this silliness of making the game “count”. It was also the turning point in how I hooked up with Trophy Wife. Back then I was friendly with her, but due to my sheer stupidity was not too interested in going out with her. A mutual friend had been trying to set us up, and on that very night Mutual Friend was meeting up with a friend who was coming in from out of town. The friend's car broke down a few miles from Mutual Friend's house so Mutual Friend went to pick him up and they went on their merry way. During their lovely evening, she called Trophy Wife who then called me to ask if I had jumper cables or Triple A. I told her I did and to call me at the last possible moment since I was deeply engrossed with the All Star Game.
Trophy Wife called a little while later and invited me over to hang out at her house till Mutual Friend got there.. and I could even watch the game. She only lived 5 minutes away so I hopped in the car… didn’t disturb Phil Rizzuto and headed over there and didn’t miss more than a batter or two. Well as it turned out the guy and his car were truly stuck and he had no way of getting home. So, I ended up driving this fellow all the way home to South Jersey and I didn’t get home till 4:30 the next morning. The next day Mutual Friend was so appreciative that as a gift she gave me movie passes and a certificate to a local restaurant on the condition… that I take Trophy Wife. I took her out the following Sunday, and finally came to my senses that she is a wonderful girl, and right after that we started dating.
So at least one person was happy with that All Star Game!
As for the season itself.. there have been a few interesting trends.. In the National League the Mets have run away with it,.. but all 4 other teams are still in contention for the Wild Card which just goes to show how mediocre the rest of the league is. Tom Glavine has a shot at the Cy Young Award. Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, and St. Louis super-stud Albert Pujols have a nice battle going for the MVP Race. His St. Louis Cardinals can’t seem to run away with the NL Central just yet.. but the Reds who had been off to a great start are starting to tail off as their top 2 pitchers Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo are starting to come back to earth. Over in the West, the Padres have moved into the lead thanks to Mike Piazza starting to rediscover his bat swinging skills that so eluded him the last few years of his career with the Mets.
So lets make some mid season predictions… The Mets and Cardinals look like locks to win the East and Central Divisions since none of the other lame-o teams seem capable of knocking them off their perch. The West and Wild Card are interesting… I’m gonna take the Braves for the Wild Card since Bobby Cox has a way of coaxing the most out of his limited roster so I am going to say right here that the playoff streak will continue.. especially with John Smoltz and Tim Hudson anchoring the pitching staff. Keep in mind they are only 6 games out of the wild card lead. As for the West, my heart says the Rockies because they have some good young players and some uncharacteristically high quality pitching.. But, as I said in the pre season, the Giants have Barry Bonds.. and if he can put together one more half season of Barry Bonds baseball, that would be enough to catapult the Giants to the top of a very weak division. A lot of people like the Dodgers but despite their superb pitching, they will only get so far with Nomar Garciaparra and Jeff Kent anchoring the offense.
As for the American League, The Red Sox still have a 3 game lead over the Yankees.. Reliever Jonathan Papelbon has been incredible and is my choice for MVP.. Where would they be without him? Probably behind the injury plagued pitching starved Yankees and the upstart Blue Jays. Over in the Central, the Tigers and White Sox lead arguably the best division in baseball. The Twins have been playing very well lately with catcher Joe Mauer making a run at .400 but they just cant seem to make up any ground. The Indians who I thought had a great team this season are dead in the water after too many late inning bullpen meltdowns. Over in the West, the A’s have emerged to take a slight lead over the rest of the pack.
As for predictions… I think the Wild Card is coming out of the Central. I would like to be gutsy and pick the Twins who with Johan Santana and Fransisco Liriano have the best top 2 we have seen since the D’backs won the ’01 World Series with Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling. But, the Tigers also have some great players and they have 2 young rookie stud pitchers Justin Verlander and Zach Miner along with the ageless Kenny Rogers. So I’m picking the White Sox to move into first, paced by Cy Young contender Jose Contreras. Im sure the Yankees wish they had him now since they will finish THIRD to the Red Sox and the Blue Jays. What? The Yankees are just as far from the Wild Card as the Braves! Why the Braves and not the Yankees?? That’s because the teams in the AL are much better than the NL wild card wannabes. And the Yankees really need to address the loss of Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield. It also amazes me that the wacky Yankee fans boo Alex Rodriguez. ARod is one Albert Pujols Sr. condom away from being the best player in the game!
Over in the West, the Angels who now have a healthy Bartolo Colon and young rookie stud Jered Weaver along with John Lackey have enough to get them into the playoffs as the AL West Winners. I like how Weaver cracked the rotation… his excellent pitching led to the teams decision to cut his older brother Jeff!! Can you imagine the phone calls to Mom and Dad? First Jered calls.. “Hey Im in the big leagues..”.. then Jeff calls.. “I got cut by the Angels for some rookie putz”….
World Series prediction: How about a rematch of the ‘86 Mets-Red Sox series? Can they get Vin Scully to announce it? “Gets by Buckner… here comes Knight.. And the Mets win it!!”
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Technology Schmecknology 2: Plug and Play vs. Pay to Plug
If you look back at the archives you will recall that last November 30 we had a Technology Schmecknology column about my misadventures involving the purchase of a new digital camera. I think I missed my calling to be a consumer electronics reviewer... but the thing about these electronics reviews is.. the reviewers really aren't that passionate about the product unless they spend their own money to purchase the reviewed item. Therefore I can’t do these columns too frequently, since I’m not exactly Mr. Rich Man.. although I am working on my 2nd million... I gave up on the 1st!
Last weekend I bought Trophy Wife a GPS system and I got myself a snazzy new Samsung SGH-d807 cell phone at the Cingular store. (And we welcome those frustrated SGH-d807 owners who can't figure out the mp3 player who googled their way over here today!) Trophy Wife bought the Tom Tom..(but calls the traffic service the Tom Note which is the name of the WOR Radio traffic reporter)... it was a good deal... she opened the box.... turned on the power button and she was good to go!
Then there is the adventures of my cell phone!
I was a late bloomer to the cell phone craze... holding out till the night in late 1999 when I was driving on a one way street in Edison and saw a motorcycle zipping up the wrong way.... Moments later it flipped over and tossed the rider several yards into the road.. Of course I had no cell phone... so I drove to the next intersection and sat in the middle of the road blocking traffic (maybe not the smartest idea) until a car came by with a cell phone. We called 911 and the police came. As far as I know the driver was not seriously injured.. but in an interesting twist they pulled the helmet off to show that it was a woman with long blonde hair!! Va Va voom.. I was gonna go to her and sing "I can be your hero baby" by Enrique Iglesias.. but the song had not been written yet!! I called the hospital later that night and they said the woman was ok.. but that was all the info they were allowed to give out.
That night I decided it was time to buy a cell phone. There was a cell phone store nearby in Rahway that was always advertising free phones so off I went to buy a free motorola flip phone with a one year OmniPoint (which became VoiceStream and then T-Mobile) contract. Every year I waited till the anniversary date and proceeded to the store and bought a new free phone. That cell phone store expanded considerably from '99 until a few years ago. The last time I saw an ad they were down to 2 stores, but I haven’t seen one of their ads in quite some time, so I don’t know if they got swallowed up by the big cell phone company stores in the malls.
I never did care about the fancy shmancy phones and some of the ultra ultra orthodox rabbis have told their peeps to use only the "kosher" phones.. phones that are just phones and have no extras like texting and internet which might corrupt the young minds if they go online and see boobies or tushies. They might be right though.. I saw a cell phone that had a video of midget porn… Now I know what the mp stands for in mp3... Midget porn!
Then in 2004... I got this newfangled phone from AT and T Wireless (now Cingular)... It was the coolest phone I ever saw! It had a slider that opened up to a QWERTY keyboard.. and it even had an FM Radio.. how cool! But…it only worked for one day! I went back to the broker’s store but he couldn’t help me.. it was an ATT Wireless problem!! ATT Wireless had amazingly already discontinued the sale of my defective phone… but they had those popular nokia phones with bowling.. but they were out of 'em so they offered me a different one. They sent that phone.. it was that phone with the teeny buttons that was being used in the promotions for American Idol to get the little pishers to call in to vote.. but it was unusable and was a piece of crap! I called ATT Wireless again.. raised some hell.. and amazingly the Nokia phone was no longer out of stock.
I used that phone till Super Bowl Sunday 2005.. when Trophy Wife (who always had a cingular phone) went with me to the Cingular Store and we purchased his and hers Sony Erricson phones. It was the first time I ever paid for a phone!! I used the phone until last weekend and it was ok except the sony erricsons have problems with the batteries not staying firmly in place which causes the phone to shut off.
So I decided to spring for a phone with an mp3 player. I bought a PNY mp3 player from Tiger Direct recently with 256 mb for 36 bucks to use as my summer mp3 at the pool and the beach. It works fine.. but it goes through a triple a battery quite quickly. I decided the phone would be the post summer mp3 player. I was all set to buy a Motorola Sliver.. I had done all the research but I think the salesmen are paid to plug the new Samsung … because he convinced me to buy that because it costs less money plus it has more mp3 memory space! Of course I had to buy a memory card/chip too to store aforementioned music and podcasts.
I went home and while Trophy Wife fiddled with her Tom Tom to get directions to any possible place to drive to... I opened my cell phone box and realized... there were no headphones! How was I gonna listen to my mp3 player without headphones?? That’s like selling a toilet without a flusher!! I went on ebay late that night and found a guy selling a bunch of tcochkes really cheap so I bid and won. I was happy till the next morning when I went online and realized why you shouldn’t ebay late at night... I bought the wrong headphones.. But I got the right car charger!!!
I called Samsung and they said the headphones should have been included... but as it turns out Cingular removes them from the package so they can sell 'em separately. Much to my chagrin, Samsung didn’t have any for sale.. and the Cingular stores didn’t have them since they are so new. Well along came T Mobile to the rescue.. they had the headphones from the prior generation Samsung phone which actually fit this one.. so now I could listen to my tunes and podcasts!
However.. I had my chip but how do you get the chip in the computer?? Hmmm... Back I went to the store. this time to Office Max to buy the usb converter.. Thankfully that only cost me a measly 10 bucks. It also took time to familiarize myself with the chip and how it snaps into the phone and into the sleeve for the usb converter. If you buy the phone, plan to dedicate an hour to figuring out how to make this work.
I then took my PNY mp3 and copied all of the music into my computer and then copied them back into the new cellphone. Woo hoo.. I was so excited.. I could now play my music.. I went to the mp3 player but it was telling me that there were no files stored! And every time I tried to play the music.. nothing!
I went back to the Cingular store on Monday (and by the way I just learned never to write a blog column as an email from my laptop because I just inadvertently deleted everything from the ATT Wireless 2004 defective phone up to this paragraph!) and the salesman pointed out the music wasn’t playing because it was in wma format and it had to be converted to mp3 format! Luckily I went online and found a website called switch which allowed me to download a program that converted all my music from wma to mp3. I again loaded it into the phone.. and now I could play the song if I highlighted it in the memory card.. but not through the mp3.. Also any file with a title with more than 16 or 18 characters wouldn‘t play.. So... back to the drawing board... I shortened the offending titles.. but it still didn’t work. It turns out it will only work if the music is in a file called "music"... Then and only then... the mp3 will allow you to transfer the file from memory to mp3!
Well it took 4 days but I finally have it working.. I haven’t tried the camera or video storage yet.. but one thing at a time. Here is a brief recap of what you need to do if you buy this phone!
1. Don’t expect all the stuff you need to be in the box.
2. Buy the memory chip, the usb converter and the headphones... they wont be in the box...
3. Convert all of your files from wma into mp3 format. Check out the switch website to get the program for this.
4. Put all of the music in.. but shorten the long titles.. No Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band!
5. Transfer it into the file called "Music"
6. Go to the mp3 player and follow the prompts to import the music from the file into the mp3 player.
7. Thank me for saving you 4 days of aggravation!
In retrospect, the purchase of the tom tom and this phone remind me of those Apple commercials where they have a cool young hipster playing a Mac and a square geeky guy as the PC. They have a spot where the 2 guys are about to come out of the box and the Apple jumps right out and gets cooking while the pc sits there and sadly remarks all the steps that need to be done before he is ready to function. It might be a tongue in cheek ad for Apple.. But in reality I hear that the sliver with its built in I-pod… works instantly!
Last weekend I bought Trophy Wife a GPS system and I got myself a snazzy new Samsung SGH-d807 cell phone at the Cingular store. (And we welcome those frustrated SGH-d807 owners who can't figure out the mp3 player who googled their way over here today!) Trophy Wife bought the Tom Tom..(but calls the traffic service the Tom Note which is the name of the WOR Radio traffic reporter)... it was a good deal... she opened the box.... turned on the power button and she was good to go!
Then there is the adventures of my cell phone!
I was a late bloomer to the cell phone craze... holding out till the night in late 1999 when I was driving on a one way street in Edison and saw a motorcycle zipping up the wrong way.... Moments later it flipped over and tossed the rider several yards into the road.. Of course I had no cell phone... so I drove to the next intersection and sat in the middle of the road blocking traffic (maybe not the smartest idea) until a car came by with a cell phone. We called 911 and the police came. As far as I know the driver was not seriously injured.. but in an interesting twist they pulled the helmet off to show that it was a woman with long blonde hair!! Va Va voom.. I was gonna go to her and sing "I can be your hero baby" by Enrique Iglesias.. but the song had not been written yet!! I called the hospital later that night and they said the woman was ok.. but that was all the info they were allowed to give out.
That night I decided it was time to buy a cell phone. There was a cell phone store nearby in Rahway that was always advertising free phones so off I went to buy a free motorola flip phone with a one year OmniPoint (which became VoiceStream and then T-Mobile) contract. Every year I waited till the anniversary date and proceeded to the store and bought a new free phone. That cell phone store expanded considerably from '99 until a few years ago. The last time I saw an ad they were down to 2 stores, but I haven’t seen one of their ads in quite some time, so I don’t know if they got swallowed up by the big cell phone company stores in the malls.
I never did care about the fancy shmancy phones and some of the ultra ultra orthodox rabbis have told their peeps to use only the "kosher" phones.. phones that are just phones and have no extras like texting and internet which might corrupt the young minds if they go online and see boobies or tushies. They might be right though.. I saw a cell phone that had a video of midget porn… Now I know what the mp stands for in mp3... Midget porn!
Then in 2004... I got this newfangled phone from AT and T Wireless (now Cingular)... It was the coolest phone I ever saw! It had a slider that opened up to a QWERTY keyboard.. and it even had an FM Radio.. how cool! But…it only worked for one day! I went back to the broker’s store but he couldn’t help me.. it was an ATT Wireless problem!! ATT Wireless had amazingly already discontinued the sale of my defective phone… but they had those popular nokia phones with bowling.. but they were out of 'em so they offered me a different one. They sent that phone.. it was that phone with the teeny buttons that was being used in the promotions for American Idol to get the little pishers to call in to vote.. but it was unusable and was a piece of crap! I called ATT Wireless again.. raised some hell.. and amazingly the Nokia phone was no longer out of stock.
I used that phone till Super Bowl Sunday 2005.. when Trophy Wife (who always had a cingular phone) went with me to the Cingular Store and we purchased his and hers Sony Erricson phones. It was the first time I ever paid for a phone!! I used the phone until last weekend and it was ok except the sony erricsons have problems with the batteries not staying firmly in place which causes the phone to shut off.
So I decided to spring for a phone with an mp3 player. I bought a PNY mp3 player from Tiger Direct recently with 256 mb for 36 bucks to use as my summer mp3 at the pool and the beach. It works fine.. but it goes through a triple a battery quite quickly. I decided the phone would be the post summer mp3 player. I was all set to buy a Motorola Sliver.. I had done all the research but I think the salesmen are paid to plug the new Samsung … because he convinced me to buy that because it costs less money plus it has more mp3 memory space! Of course I had to buy a memory card/chip too to store aforementioned music and podcasts.
I went home and while Trophy Wife fiddled with her Tom Tom to get directions to any possible place to drive to... I opened my cell phone box and realized... there were no headphones! How was I gonna listen to my mp3 player without headphones?? That’s like selling a toilet without a flusher!! I went on ebay late that night and found a guy selling a bunch of tcochkes really cheap so I bid and won. I was happy till the next morning when I went online and realized why you shouldn’t ebay late at night... I bought the wrong headphones.. But I got the right car charger!!!
I called Samsung and they said the headphones should have been included... but as it turns out Cingular removes them from the package so they can sell 'em separately. Much to my chagrin, Samsung didn’t have any for sale.. and the Cingular stores didn’t have them since they are so new. Well along came T Mobile to the rescue.. they had the headphones from the prior generation Samsung phone which actually fit this one.. so now I could listen to my tunes and podcasts!
However.. I had my chip but how do you get the chip in the computer?? Hmmm... Back I went to the store. this time to Office Max to buy the usb converter.. Thankfully that only cost me a measly 10 bucks. It also took time to familiarize myself with the chip and how it snaps into the phone and into the sleeve for the usb converter. If you buy the phone, plan to dedicate an hour to figuring out how to make this work.
I then took my PNY mp3 and copied all of the music into my computer and then copied them back into the new cellphone. Woo hoo.. I was so excited.. I could now play my music.. I went to the mp3 player but it was telling me that there were no files stored! And every time I tried to play the music.. nothing!
I went back to the Cingular store on Monday (and by the way I just learned never to write a blog column as an email from my laptop because I just inadvertently deleted everything from the ATT Wireless 2004 defective phone up to this paragraph!) and the salesman pointed out the music wasn’t playing because it was in wma format and it had to be converted to mp3 format! Luckily I went online and found a website called switch which allowed me to download a program that converted all my music from wma to mp3. I again loaded it into the phone.. and now I could play the song if I highlighted it in the memory card.. but not through the mp3.. Also any file with a title with more than 16 or 18 characters wouldn‘t play.. So... back to the drawing board... I shortened the offending titles.. but it still didn’t work. It turns out it will only work if the music is in a file called "music"... Then and only then... the mp3 will allow you to transfer the file from memory to mp3!
Well it took 4 days but I finally have it working.. I haven’t tried the camera or video storage yet.. but one thing at a time. Here is a brief recap of what you need to do if you buy this phone!
1. Don’t expect all the stuff you need to be in the box.
2. Buy the memory chip, the usb converter and the headphones... they wont be in the box...
3. Convert all of your files from wma into mp3 format. Check out the switch website to get the program for this.
4. Put all of the music in.. but shorten the long titles.. No Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band!
5. Transfer it into the file called "Music"
6. Go to the mp3 player and follow the prompts to import the music from the file into the mp3 player.
7. Thank me for saving you 4 days of aggravation!
In retrospect, the purchase of the tom tom and this phone remind me of those Apple commercials where they have a cool young hipster playing a Mac and a square geeky guy as the PC. They have a spot where the 2 guys are about to come out of the box and the Apple jumps right out and gets cooking while the pc sits there and sadly remarks all the steps that need to be done before he is ready to function. It might be a tongue in cheek ad for Apple.. But in reality I hear that the sliver with its built in I-pod… works instantly!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Thoughts for Independence Day 2006
Happy Independence Day Everybody… I hope everybody is enjoying the long weekend!
For some reason MTV has been running marathons of its dating show “Next”… a program that I consider a train wreck.. You don’t want to watch it.. But you just can't keep your eyes off it. I think they actually stole the concept from me.. For years I have told "stressed out with relationship problems" single friends to adopt my famous mantra… “As the slumlord would say.. Time to move on to the next project” I think MTV stole the concept and just shortened the name.. Nonetheless… it makes for some fascinating background noise while writing this blog, following out of town baseball games online, and getting acquainted with my new cell phone which will be addressed later this week in Technology Shmecknology Part II.
The show has one person going on dates with 5 different people who sit in a trailer and have the most bizarre small talk conversations while the fifth person is on the date. They win a buck for every minute they survive, but if the person doesn’t like them,… they bellow out “NEXT” and the next person comes out for a date.. If the person likes one of these poor suckers they have a choice for a 2nd date or a dollar for every minute the date lasted. I’m sure many people wouldn’t mind a dollar for every minute they endured on a “date from hell”.
A few things stood out about the weekend marathon…. Aside from the incredible shallowness of the show’s participants. One woman who was white did NOT want a white guy… Guy #1 emerges from the trailer with flowers which she calls sappy and immediately hollered ‘NEXT”… Out came Guy #2 who was white, and when this woman saw him… not only did she NEXT him the second she saw him….. but she threw the flowers at the poor guy too!! There was also a girl who said she had lost 100 pounds and was on her first date ever, and you just prayed that she wouldn’t take the rejection too personally and start chowing down again.. But luckily the guy who NEXTed her was a mensch about it and she took it quite well. Finally, one guy was being teased for having man-boobs.. So at the end, the 4 rejected bimbettes chanted out… “Good luck with your man-boobs….” and one remarked off the cuff… “And your man-gina too” I never heard the word man-gina.. But I find it very amusing.. And somewhat fun to say!
I am very proud to be an American.. And July 4th is a very special day for me! It's also a wake up call that its been more than a month since Memorial Day, and there is only 2 months left till Labor Day, so there is still time to live it up! It's also meaningful since I am the son of an immmigrant who learned English and assimilated into American culture as soon as he was off the boat. This might be an odd concept since there are too many immigrants who don't care to learn English, and the illegal ones are now making a big deal that they deserve immunity!
Usually July 4th is a relatively quiet day news-wise except for the Bicentennial in 1976 which was also the same day as the Rescue from Entebbe. Tim McCarver also hit a grand slam on Bicentennial Day but passed a teammate on the bases and was stuck with a a single. The Mets also once played a game in Atlanta that had rain delays and went 19 innings and ended at 4 AM at which point they launched the annual fireworks show and scared the living daylights out of the local residents who thought the city was getting bombed. However it was a big day in 1826....
I wonder what it would have been like if CNN had been on the air back in 1826. July 4th was a huge news day!! Our 2nd President John Adams and 3rd President Thomas Jefferson both died on the very same day! I can only imagine the mid day coverage on CNN…. Lets say one of the back ups was anchoring… say Rick Sanchez.. Who knows… maybe Daryn Kagan has to take a day off because boyfriend Rush Limbaugh is in the news again. Good thing hes not NBA player Eddie Griffin who crashed his car last week for DWM.. Driving While Masturbating.
Here is a possible transcript from July 4th 1826.…180 years ago!!
RICK SANCHEZ; Welcome to CNN… Daryn Kagan is out today… In the news, much is being bandied about Rush Limbaughs horse and buggy being detained because he had some illegal medication geared towards his inability to get his shmeckle to perform. Lack of performance by the shmeckle is a growing problem.. Its apparently rampant in the frontier states.. And here to talk about why shmeckles can’t get the job done is CNN Health Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta…
GUPTA: Thank you Rick.. Shmeckles come in all shapes and sizes, whether excited or not excited. Unfortunately the Rush Shmeckle is like a deer frozen when confronted by a lantern of a frontiersman's horse. This is odd since he is dating my hottest co-worker although some could argue that Suzanne Malveaux is better looking. But what causes the shmeckle to fail as miserably as Rush Limbaugh’s and what can be done about it?
SANCHEZ; Sorry, Dr. Gupta, we have to interrupt for some breaking news.. Wolf Blitzer is standing by…
BLITZER: Yes, Rick, we here in the Situation Room are just getting word in right now that Former President John Adams… is dead! He died just a little while ago and we are expected to get an update soon from the Adams Family concerning the tragic death of our former President. I will be speaking with family spokesman Lurch later.. Apparently his last words were (and this is really true) “Jefferson still lives”…. a reference to his feud with fellow Founding Father Thomas Jefferson. Back to you Rick.
SANCHEZ; How sad.. To have a president die on the 4th of July… Its absolutely tragic… and a programming note… Tonight on Larry King Live.. a special looking back at the life and times of Former President John Adams… Larry will have a round table panel with the survivors who signed The Declaration of Independence 50 years ago today, and they will be discussing the former President and his life and times.. Again.. Former President Adams.. Has died. We will go to the weather in a moment but as we break for commercial and show you our new graphic and sad musical bed about the death of President Adams.. Wait a second.. Im just hearing we will be going back again to Wolf.
BLITZER: Yes Rick,… I am just getting word in my ear piece that former President Thomas Jefferson …. Is dead! The announcement has been confirmed at his estate by family spokeswoman and slave Weezie Jefferson.
SANCHEZ; Oh this is so tragic.. Both Jefferson and Adams are now.. Gone!! A programming note on this the 50th anniversary of the The Declaration of Independence, Larry King will host a 2 hour round table discussion about the deaths of these 2 founding fathers, and later tonight on Anderson Cooper 360, he will scold the surviving signers for lauding themselves, instead of getting medical attention for Adams and Jefferson!
Meanwhile MSNBC would be rerunning a taped Matt Lauer piece about the history of The View while the website would have some ass kicking coverage of the tragic events of July 4th 1826.
I also liked Benjamin Franklin… he was quite the genius… and thanks to a recent Star Ledger column for this nugget… apparently a reference to the multitudes of beans he ingested during the 1st 50 July 4th Barbecues! Besides discovering electricity with his discovery of the lightning rod.. He also created bifocal glasses.. The Franklin Stove and the odometer. I wish I knew this next bit of info when I was a kid when I had to write a paper about him… he also wrote an essay called…”Fart Proudly”… and this is a quote… “(I want) to discover some drug wholesome and not disagreeable to be mixed with our common food or sauces that shall render the natural discharges of wind from our bodies not only inoffensive but agreeable as perfumes.”
Way to go Benajmin Franklin! And... that might explain while some of the other signers looked kind of queasy when they posed for that infamous pic!
Happy 4th of July everybody!!
For some reason MTV has been running marathons of its dating show “Next”… a program that I consider a train wreck.. You don’t want to watch it.. But you just can't keep your eyes off it. I think they actually stole the concept from me.. For years I have told "stressed out with relationship problems" single friends to adopt my famous mantra… “As the slumlord would say.. Time to move on to the next project” I think MTV stole the concept and just shortened the name.. Nonetheless… it makes for some fascinating background noise while writing this blog, following out of town baseball games online, and getting acquainted with my new cell phone which will be addressed later this week in Technology Shmecknology Part II.
The show has one person going on dates with 5 different people who sit in a trailer and have the most bizarre small talk conversations while the fifth person is on the date. They win a buck for every minute they survive, but if the person doesn’t like them,… they bellow out “NEXT” and the next person comes out for a date.. If the person likes one of these poor suckers they have a choice for a 2nd date or a dollar for every minute the date lasted. I’m sure many people wouldn’t mind a dollar for every minute they endured on a “date from hell”.
A few things stood out about the weekend marathon…. Aside from the incredible shallowness of the show’s participants. One woman who was white did NOT want a white guy… Guy #1 emerges from the trailer with flowers which she calls sappy and immediately hollered ‘NEXT”… Out came Guy #2 who was white, and when this woman saw him… not only did she NEXT him the second she saw him….. but she threw the flowers at the poor guy too!! There was also a girl who said she had lost 100 pounds and was on her first date ever, and you just prayed that she wouldn’t take the rejection too personally and start chowing down again.. But luckily the guy who NEXTed her was a mensch about it and she took it quite well. Finally, one guy was being teased for having man-boobs.. So at the end, the 4 rejected bimbettes chanted out… “Good luck with your man-boobs….” and one remarked off the cuff… “And your man-gina too” I never heard the word man-gina.. But I find it very amusing.. And somewhat fun to say!
I am very proud to be an American.. And July 4th is a very special day for me! It's also a wake up call that its been more than a month since Memorial Day, and there is only 2 months left till Labor Day, so there is still time to live it up! It's also meaningful since I am the son of an immmigrant who learned English and assimilated into American culture as soon as he was off the boat. This might be an odd concept since there are too many immigrants who don't care to learn English, and the illegal ones are now making a big deal that they deserve immunity!
Usually July 4th is a relatively quiet day news-wise except for the Bicentennial in 1976 which was also the same day as the Rescue from Entebbe. Tim McCarver also hit a grand slam on Bicentennial Day but passed a teammate on the bases and was stuck with a a single. The Mets also once played a game in Atlanta that had rain delays and went 19 innings and ended at 4 AM at which point they launched the annual fireworks show and scared the living daylights out of the local residents who thought the city was getting bombed. However it was a big day in 1826....
I wonder what it would have been like if CNN had been on the air back in 1826. July 4th was a huge news day!! Our 2nd President John Adams and 3rd President Thomas Jefferson both died on the very same day! I can only imagine the mid day coverage on CNN…. Lets say one of the back ups was anchoring… say Rick Sanchez.. Who knows… maybe Daryn Kagan has to take a day off because boyfriend Rush Limbaugh is in the news again. Good thing hes not NBA player Eddie Griffin who crashed his car last week for DWM.. Driving While Masturbating.
Here is a possible transcript from July 4th 1826.…180 years ago!!
RICK SANCHEZ; Welcome to CNN… Daryn Kagan is out today… In the news, much is being bandied about Rush Limbaughs horse and buggy being detained because he had some illegal medication geared towards his inability to get his shmeckle to perform. Lack of performance by the shmeckle is a growing problem.. Its apparently rampant in the frontier states.. And here to talk about why shmeckles can’t get the job done is CNN Health Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta…
GUPTA: Thank you Rick.. Shmeckles come in all shapes and sizes, whether excited or not excited. Unfortunately the Rush Shmeckle is like a deer frozen when confronted by a lantern of a frontiersman's horse. This is odd since he is dating my hottest co-worker although some could argue that Suzanne Malveaux is better looking. But what causes the shmeckle to fail as miserably as Rush Limbaugh’s and what can be done about it?
SANCHEZ; Sorry, Dr. Gupta, we have to interrupt for some breaking news.. Wolf Blitzer is standing by…
BLITZER: Yes, Rick, we here in the Situation Room are just getting word in right now that Former President John Adams… is dead! He died just a little while ago and we are expected to get an update soon from the Adams Family concerning the tragic death of our former President. I will be speaking with family spokesman Lurch later.. Apparently his last words were (and this is really true) “Jefferson still lives”…. a reference to his feud with fellow Founding Father Thomas Jefferson. Back to you Rick.
SANCHEZ; How sad.. To have a president die on the 4th of July… Its absolutely tragic… and a programming note… Tonight on Larry King Live.. a special looking back at the life and times of Former President John Adams… Larry will have a round table panel with the survivors who signed The Declaration of Independence 50 years ago today, and they will be discussing the former President and his life and times.. Again.. Former President Adams.. Has died. We will go to the weather in a moment but as we break for commercial and show you our new graphic and sad musical bed about the death of President Adams.. Wait a second.. Im just hearing we will be going back again to Wolf.
BLITZER: Yes Rick,… I am just getting word in my ear piece that former President Thomas Jefferson …. Is dead! The announcement has been confirmed at his estate by family spokeswoman and slave Weezie Jefferson.
SANCHEZ; Oh this is so tragic.. Both Jefferson and Adams are now.. Gone!! A programming note on this the 50th anniversary of the The Declaration of Independence, Larry King will host a 2 hour round table discussion about the deaths of these 2 founding fathers, and later tonight on Anderson Cooper 360, he will scold the surviving signers for lauding themselves, instead of getting medical attention for Adams and Jefferson!
Meanwhile MSNBC would be rerunning a taped Matt Lauer piece about the history of The View while the website would have some ass kicking coverage of the tragic events of July 4th 1826.
I also liked Benjamin Franklin… he was quite the genius… and thanks to a recent Star Ledger column for this nugget… apparently a reference to the multitudes of beans he ingested during the 1st 50 July 4th Barbecues! Besides discovering electricity with his discovery of the lightning rod.. He also created bifocal glasses.. The Franklin Stove and the odometer. I wish I knew this next bit of info when I was a kid when I had to write a paper about him… he also wrote an essay called…”Fart Proudly”… and this is a quote… “(I want) to discover some drug wholesome and not disagreeable to be mixed with our common food or sauces that shall render the natural discharges of wind from our bodies not only inoffensive but agreeable as perfumes.”
Way to go Benajmin Franklin! And... that might explain while some of the other signers looked kind of queasy when they posed for that infamous pic!
Happy 4th of July everybody!!
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