Friday, August 04, 2006

MTV At 25: Reality Killed The Video Star

Can you believe it… MTV is already at the quarter century mark? Every summer has its pop culture theme. ‘81 was the Summer of MTV.. This summer is “Snakes on a Plane”… Hey has anybody heard anything about what that movie is going to be about?

This past week marked 25 years since the summer of ‘81 when the network launched with "Video Killed the Radio Star" and the oh so hip teenyboppers boldly declared “I want my MTV”. The station which used to consist of music videos has evolved into a lineup of reality shows catering to a younger set. Nowadays, if you want to watch music on TV, you can always tune in to the commercial free music stations on your digital cable/satellite system.

This summer, I have gotten really tired of watching the Middle Eastern coverage on the news, so I have been tuning in to the late night MTV line-up… basically consisting of the dating show Next and the Feel Good makeover program “Why Can’t I Be You?“ Just in case you're not familiar with the premise of WCIBY, it’s a makeover show for the MTV Generation where the teenyboppers point out a peer they envy.. The host Nick Zano barges in on the hero at a very inopportune time.. and offers that person 2k to spend 48 hours with aforementioned person… hoping that in 48 hours the wannabe is more like his hero. But I may have to stop watching it late at night.. because the show has been working its way into my dreams!

In my dream I was driving my car. I was very sober. A policeman’s siren went off behind me and the cop pulled me over. An officer named Levine walked up to me and asked me if I was sober. I said yes. He wished me a good evening. And I very politely asked him.. ,…. “Levine… hmmm.. Are You Jewish?” Just then Nick Zano, the host of Why Can’t I Be You popped out from behind the police car. “Nate”… he exclaimed breathlessly…”There is someone here who wants to be like you…. And if you let that person spend 48 hours with you.. You get 2000 dollars!”. “Wow that‘s a lot of money Nick, .. All I did was drive sober and politely ask a cop if he is Jewish.. Who wants to be like me?”

There from out of the woods emerged Mel Gibson.

His career is like the end of a video game.. Game Over.. And now that his True Colors have come through we all know him for the Jew hater he really is. All his denials that his movie “The Passion of the Christ” was not based on the Anti Semitism of his father obviously show that the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Nice try by the LAPD to cover it up, but the Career Over light is on.. Now if David Duke needs a producer if he decides to launch another political campaign….

I do like how Melvin is taking the pity party route by checking into a rehab and pleading to the Jewish community that he is not a Jew hater…. Good.. Let the Jewish liberals embrace him and he can be their new cause. … they’re obviously not too concerned with the actions being taken to get back the three heroic Israeli soldiers who were abducted by Hezbollah terrorists.. I had another dream.. This one was about the wacky liberals next convention…”Hey” says the Grand Poo-bah Head Liberal.. “today we must embrace Mel Gibson and encourage everyone to give him another chance.. Of course we won’t forget our poor Hezbollah brothers who are fighting the Israeli occupation”. Just then Nick Zano pops out. “Liberals” he breathlessly announces.. “ There is someone here who wants to be like you… and if you let that person spend 48 hours with you…. You get 2000 dollars!” Wow thinks the liberals as they look behind Zano…. Who wants to be like us??

“But there is nobody standing there Nick“ says the Grand Poo-bah Head Liberal. “I know“ replies the host.. “Y‘see people don’t want to be like you because you guys spend too much time worrying about the terrorists who are trying to kill your own people. Besides I bet most of you people supporting "Operation Restore Mel Gibson's Popularity" know the name of Mel Gibson's agent.. but don't know who Shlomo Goldwasser is. And no cheating by running to google!" See folks.. All we need is Nick Zano to explain these things to us.

It’s the coverage of the war that has driven me to MTV.. I just can’t watch CNN anymore.. plus now I see that Daryn Kagan is leaving to start an "inspirational" website. Of course she's inspired.. she wakes up every morning and that Viagra addict Rush Limbaugh isn't lying next to her! Every night I knock on my screen to see if Larry King is paying attention to some of the absurd things that are said on his airwaves…Have you noticed he rarely takes phone calls on his live shows? Heck, Sunday morning Howard Kurtz had a guy on who writes a column right here on blogspot about life in Lebanon… And when Howard asked him about the terrorists… he looked back at Mr. Kurtz and said.. “You mean the freedom fighters?”. Then Larry had some Rabbi from some magazine debating talk show host Dennis Prager about this stupidity regarding negotiating with these terrorists. Even President Bush who I don’t like has enough brains to say “We will not negotiate with terrorists”. I guess the liberals will.. Good thing they weren't running the show during the terrorist hijacking in Entebbe in 1976.. Those hostages would still be sitting at the airport!

And then there is Her Royal Majesty Queen No’or.of Jordan. . In the 70‘s, she was Lisa Halaby, the young incredibly beautiful wife of King Hussein. She looks fantastic for her age.. She‘s in her early 50s and her birthday is August 23rd… … but I don’t think too many people really listen to her when she speaks... I think a lot of viewers mentally undress her imagining her tied to a canopy bedpost with a turban, while snake charmer music hums in the background as King Hussein has his way with her. Her Royal Majesty then majestically swings her tush with one cheek tattoed PRINCE and the other cheek tattooed TON.. a salute to her alma mater! The left cheek tattoo is not to be confused with her son the Prince who was born in 1981.. The same year as MTV.

I did listen to her the other night… but she lost me with her drivel defending terrorists fighting “The Occupation” and Larry just sat there.. (sorry Larry I like you a lot but I gotta criticize you) as she said this is all Israel's fault because they expelled the Palestinians in 1948. In reality it was just days after Israel became Israel that a bunch of its neighbors launched a well planned invasion, and tipped off the "Palestinians" to get the heck out of Dodge. The Palestinians were promised temp housing in other lands and after a few days they could go home after the "New Israel" was destroyed. They left.. but Israel's new military gave its enemies a can of whoop-ass and lo and behold when things quieted down these "Palestinians" wanted to go home again! Its amazing a beautiful woman can be so ugly… and I am sure readers of this blog will never be able to get the image of the Princeton tattoo out of their minds the next time she pops up on the tube!

Here is what I don’t get about these people who defend terrorists. Timothy McVeigh goes and blows up a building in Oklahoma City killing hundreds of innocent people. That’s terrorism.. And even though I am against the death penalty, there was no choice but to execute him. Likewise with the terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center and killed all of those thousands of innocent people. Catch ‘em… and kill ‘em… that is what we do to terrorists. So why exactly are liberal Jews proposing any other option for Hezbollah? How is it any different than the terrorists who attacked us on 9-11? Or Timothy McVeigh?

One other show I caught was 30 Days on FX. I only saw one episode while ducking CNN…It addressed the immigration debate by having a Cuban immigrant who came here legally many years ago (in the era when MTV played videos) spend 30 days living with a family of about 6 or 7 illegal Mexican immigrants cramped into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment. I’m not too opinionated about the whole immigration debate but what really grinds my gears are the immigrants who don’t speak English. Most of the episode was in subtitles because the illegal aliens hadn’t gotten around to learning English. This was a big issue in a town in NJ where there was an uproar about a billboard written entirely in Spanish. I also raised this point in a Star Wars column when I told about how I wanted to buy a Yoda watch at Burger King, but couldn’t read the sign since it was entirely in Spanish. I recently obtained that display and here it is.... and no, I did not steal it!

Getting back to MTV…. For those of you who don’t skew in that demographic that I know I don’t belong in…Why Cant I Be You.. is a well rehearsed show that looks very spontaneous. The person who leads the venture is well coached off screen as the producers put out a rather heart warming story each week.. It’s a big contrast to the ego hits taken on its dating show Next where rejection is the name of the game and the little bimbettes have to go home wondering why Joe Surfboard nexted them and why they’re not loved despite their fake boobies, and miniskirt covered thongs.

WCIBY is actually a nice little show… One Pointdexter girl who hadn’t realized she was cute moved to a new city, and was led around by another transplanted out of towner social butterfly who had started a Yahoo Groups social organization. The wannabe though needed some refinement.. As all she did was talk about Star Wars…yet her coach helped her hook up with a guy. In this case the Jedi was well trained by Yoda. Another episode featured a snowboarder wannabe who followed around this incredibly narcissistic snowboarder who was such a shmuck that the producers obviously had a little chat with him… because he instantly turned into a sweet guy as the producers dangled a 2000 dollar carrot. Right now I’m watching this socially awkward girl from Seattle named Maddie who idolizes Amy.. her school‘s social butterfly…and you know that by the end of the episode Maddie will look totally hot and have the boys chasing her. Actually Maddie very much resembles Deb in Napolean Dynamite.. You almost expect her to start selling Glamour Shots.

Just keep the young wanna be away from Uncle Rico… or is he too busy going back to 1981 to start his junior year on the football team… the Summer of MTV….


alberich said...

Good.. Let the Jewish liberals embrace him and he can be their new cause

Speaking as an expert on "Jewish liberals" (I think I know something about this group ;) ), I doubt this'll happen. More likely Jewish liberals will be saying to our neo-conservative type friends "see, we told you that you cannot trust the fundie crowd: no matter how much they say they like Israel and the Jews, what they mean is they like Jews only if we're far away in Israel".

Nate said...

I hope youre right DAS... because I am keeping an eye out which Members of the Tribe put Operation Restore Gibson on a higher priority that Operate Rescue Three Heroic Soldiers.

alberich said...

So why exactly are liberal Jews proposing any other option for Hezbollah? How is it any different than [...] Timothy McVeigh?

Somehow I missed this earlier.

Actually the ideal many of us liberal Jews have is to deal with Hezbollah exactly as with Timothy McVeigh. Notice that the US did not respond to the OK City bombing by shelling the state of MI due to its high militia population.

Good thing they weren't running the show during the terrorist hijacking in Entebbe in 1976.. Those hostages would still be sitting at the airport!

Again, this is exactly the sort of thing some of us liberals would like to see happen. If Israel could have managed to pull off another Entebbe-style rescue of those 3 brave soldiers, that would have been right en pointe and also have really shown that Israel has a powerful and brave army that could capture any militant at any time and cause them to suffer the indignities of being treated like a common criminal. OTOH, Israel managed to play right into Hezbollah's hands -- now Hezbollah is "rebuilding" what's been destroyed and really is the de facto government in Lebanon.