Friday, September 21, 2007

A Week For Juice to Repent

Hello folks... Next week we will be coming to you from our new sukkah!! Trophy Wife and I put one up in honor of the holiday so weather permitting, I will be pecking away at my laptop there next week... The Mrs. will also be happy that next week marks the end of Rotiserrie Baseball Season. This year my team has been in contention all season requiring plenty of TLC... usually I am pretty much out of it by Memorial Day.. but we go into the Yom Kippur games tonight just one measly point out of first place! And Met fans must be stunned that the actual notion of Shawn Green playing on Yom Kippur has achieved some type of relevance... Weeks ago it looked like Green was at the very end of his career, and the Mets would already be NL East Champions. I hear that Green is going to sit out Friday night but he will play the Saturday afternoon game... obviously during the break from the services he will be attending in nearby Miami.

This also marks the week between Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur... when we repent for our sins so we can make it back for another year in The Book of Life. There have been 2 big news stories this week... first was the death of Brett Somers and secondly the absurd return of OJ Simpson to the Mass Media. There are 3 of my fellow Jews whose faces have popped up repeatedly during all of this media coverage... Harvey Levin from, Stacey Honowitz the FL lawyer who has been hitting all the talk shows this week...(and maybe even attending Kol Nidre with Shawn Green) and The Goldman Family.


Most of us thought we had heard the end of OJ after we saw the inexplicable media coverage of roomfuls of people cheering his acquittal. Yeah he lost a civil suit against Ron Goldman's family, but it was made pretty clear that he wasn't going to pay back any of it. Then last year, OJ was back - when it was revealed that he wrote a hypothetical confessional that got star book publisher Judith Regan tossed out on her tuchis. Now here we are in 2007 and The Goldmans... (or are they Goldmen?) fly out to Oprah's Tom Cruise dancing couch on Rosh Hashana to discuss the book that they now own the rights to.... all they changed was the title display so that the word "If" in "If I Did It" was extemely teeny. Heck, the "confessional" was supposed to be published later ths year... but once the publishers got word that the Goldmen had their ticket to Oprah, the book was published early to coincide with the Oprah appearance.


Before bleary eyed revelers had the chance to welcome in 5768,.... here comes OJ, obviously inspired with the child molestor stings on Dateline NBC with a brilliant idea of his own... It was almost as if he was starting his own franchise,... instead of Oceans 11.... it was OJ's 11... which is the average IQ of all the parties involved in this heist. It was almost as bizarre as Oceans 12 where Julia Roberts character posed as Julia Roberts... maybe Juice should have taken a page out of the "Police Squad" gamebook by showing up as Detective Nordberg, his character from The Naked Gun Movies.

Of course one of his classy compatriots slips a little tape recorder in the room and the next thing you know Harvey Levin gets his mitts on it. Levin was a virtual nobody when he covered the OJ trial on Channel 2 in the mid 1990s during the Jim Jensen days.. He parlayed that into a gig with "The People's Court" as a sideline reporter where he talks to fans on the street about whatever trial is on... and now folks - he has become a star with the launch of his website and related TV show ---- Monday, I celebrated my 30 somethingth birthday and I must admit that I am the only one in my age group who knows that TMZ stands for thirty mile zone... the coverage area around Beverly Hills where his website provides its breathless reporting of all the crazy shenanigans that go on there!


This past week.. my evenings have been watching the Mets, and then flipping over to see the Phillies games, as the Mets try to hold on.. Then from 12am -2am. its the replays of Larry King and Greta von Susterin.. the only time you will ever catch me watching Fox News. Here's the one who boggles my mind... Stacey Honowitz.. the Florida lawyer.. The more I look at her.. the better looking she is... although maybe my brain function starts to drop during that 12 midnight Larry King replay. But then Stacy opens that mouth of hers and starts yapping..... and you just want to throw your TV out the window... Honowitz reminds me of the "fun" girl you used to meet in sleep away camp because she knew how and where to sneak into the woods.. but when visiting day arrived, she expected you to meet her family so they could meet her "new camp boyfriend" and you just prayed she would just shut her mouth so you could go back to your bunk and read all the new comic books that your own mom brought for you on Visiting Day!! Incidentally, on one of those Hollywood Squares-esque panel shows one of the other lawyers asked her why there was some edginess when she appeared on a panel with OJ Lawyer Yale Galanter and she politely took the 5th and you wonder if Yale had hooked up with her at one point.

Ultimately, this is going to be much ado about nothing. Even though OJ shouldn't be stealing stuff.. apparently the stuff was stolen from him. And if these legal eagles are right that the smoking gun tape will be inadmissible, OJ will hopefully disappear into the woodwork never to be heard from again. And will all due respect to The Goldmen, although it's important to "never forget", it seems to me that their constant talk show appearances are torturing them.... and now with the Brown family ticked off at them for publishing the book, maybe it's time that they stop doing all the media tours so this story goes away once and for all...

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - This week in honor of OJ we go to Buffalo where the Bills are huge 16 1/2 point doggies to the Bills. Pumpy is off to an amazing 2-0 start! Sayeth the Pump: Hmmmm, this is a tough one.... you'd think I'd be tempted to go with Buffallo, bcause of my favorite "Bills" -- Clinton, Gates, O'Reilly, Shatner, Bixby, etc. But I'm a fan of New England in general, and "Patriot Games" is one of my all-time favorite movies, so because of that, and because Brett Somers grew up in New England... I'll go with The Patriots.

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK - Last week we went 1-2 for a season record of 2-3-1.

GIANTS 3 1/2 doggies to Washington - hey, dont give up yet.. take the Giants to get their first win of the year

Detroit 6 1/2 doggies to The Eagles - Take the 2-0 Lions to sink the Philly fans into a week of despair as the Eagles lose, and the Phillies get eliminated.

NEW ORLEANS 4 1/2 faves over Tennesee - Heck the only game I got right last week was on Monday Night.. so lets take the Saints to get in the win column, since so far this season they have looked as bad as The Giants.

NEXT WEEK: We will have a salute to Brett Somers!

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