We’ll get to Lost – the TV show in a moment, but first a quick glance at the Nets as they march towards 8 win immortality in their attempt to shatter the infamous 9-73 record set by the 72-73 76ers. Now that the Nets have hit the 5 win mark, their current 5-50 record is far better than that Sixers team that actually started out at 4-58 and those lovable Mavericks of 92-93 fame whose 11 win season consisted of a 4-57 start… Amazingly, both those teams had worse records than the Swamp Dragons who have just announced that they will be in Newark for the next 2 seasons before they move on to Brooklyn!
The key to setting the record at 8-74 will involve some more consistent losing over the last 27 games. Can a 5-50 team which has consistently been winning 1 out of every 11 games put together a 3-24 hot streak to hit that mark? A stellar 4-23 would only tie the record and a sizzling stretch of 5-23 would keep Philly in the record books! Or will they challenge the all time worst stretch run of the 1968 San Diego Rockets who went 1-32 over their final 33 games?? And if they get to the magical 8-74,… they would be 66 games under .500… Only 2 professional team have achieved that record in the last 50 years… the 40-120 1962 Mets and the 2003 Tigers who finished 43-119.
Net observers are noticing that the losses have been a lot closer over the last 10 or so games, and the way they have been playing lately it makes it possible that getting the record will be tough to achieve. In the meantime, now that they have 5 wins, the next goal is reaching not the mathematically impossible .500.. but actually the .100 mark which would mark the 1st time this season they have achieved that status. But if they have to pay .125 ball to avoid immortality it seems very possible that they will resume their losing ways and get to their next milestone - a 5-59 record which has never ever been done. Can they lose next 9 games to reach that record?? Its too early to tell, but at least it gives us something to look forward to!
Now time for Lost. I have tossed off so many theories about that wacky show over the years that I have run out of ideas. But as the show heads to its final episode this May, one can only wonder how this crazy show will wrap up. So instead of yet another crazy theory, I am going to speculate on what the finale will look like.
The cool aspect about this show is that we can write about what has been going on… but in reality we really don’t know what’s flying. Last season they cooked up this crazy idea that if they went back in time they could change the circumstances that led to their Episode 1 plane crash. Well faster than Cher can slap on a thong, they discovered that they could turn back time. Our Lost crew knew their plane crashed because of some kind of magnetic mashugas that was emanating from the island due to a hydrogen bomb. Last season’s madcap goal was to detonate the bomb. Then the Lost crew would die in the explosion, but their plane would never have crashed and they would end up living “happily ever after”. Sort of like the logic used in “The Prestige” – kill 1 but keep the clone.
The season ended with a flash of light as a badly injured Juliet smashed the bomb which didn’t quite go off as planned. Then we waited through 7 long months for the show to start up again! Now that its back, we see that the plane did NOT crash and everybody goes on their merry way with some interesting storylines… Locke is still paralyzed… Rose has cancer… Charlie almost overdoses…Kate is on the run from the law… and Claire’s adoptive parents foshnizzled on their offer to take her unborn baby. Doesn’t look like everybody is quite so happy off the island.
But wait a moment.. the show is not just about life off the island after the plane did not crash. We found out in the first episode of the season that the plane crash crew did NOT die when the bomb went off… Somehow the bomb went off and blew them into the future.. but since they had been in the past, they actually ended up in the present…Only Lost can produce such a sentence that actually makes sense!
I’m not quite sure what year they ended up in… but I think they are now in “present time” since Sawyer has shared scenes with both Jin and Fake Locke. And with Fake Locke being in the same timeline as Sun… that means that lovely reunion appears to be imminent! Which means that not only are they time travelers, but somehow they have changed the timeline and the “Crashers” and the “non Crashers” are co existing with themselves at the same time but in 2 different places! Kind of like when Stuie Griffin found his future self living in San Fransisco.
So while viewers await the Sun and Jin reunion – I am more interested in seeing the “Crashers” meet the “Non-crashers”
The non crashers have the common bond of being on the same flight…. which involved the escape of a criminal (Kate). Since there is a list of all of the flight’s passengers, maybe the cops will call everybody over to the local Bennigan’s for a little Q and A. Also, Hurley seems to be interacting with some of the non crashers…Rose and Locke were on that flight, and both of them were his employees… and the 2 people who were magically healed on the island too! Then we round up the “Crashers”… and rescue them from the island for a 2nd time… The first rescue was pretty exciting… but imagine how neat it would be the 2nd time around since “they” already are living in the real world.
I can just imagine that Oprah episode! Hopefully she wont mistake one of Ben’s scars for lipstick like she did with Drew Brees! People who were on an airplane find out that “they” have been rescued after being stranded on an island. Letterman could get 5 of them to do a Top 10 List. Maybe they could rent out a hotel ballroom for that reunion of the Crashers and the Non Crashers. Serve up some cocktails maybe? See if Sawyer has nicknames for the other Sawyer. And would he seek out Juliet to see if he can hook up with her? Would a respected doctor hook up with a self proclaimed con man? Would Hurley give the other Hurley a job? Would Sayid resort to torture if the other Sayid doesn’t tell him what he wants to hear about the island?
But I guess poor Locke would feel left out at the reunion… His alter ego is dead….He’ll just sit on the sidelines having coffee talk with his history teacher friend Ben Linus as ABC drools over the prospects of a spinoff featuring the 2 of them that would probably fizzle quicker than After MASH and Beverly Hills Buntz.
I think of all the crazy concepts on Lost, the idea of people finding out that they co-exist somewhere else is more mind boggling than anything else the show has come up with! I couldn’t even begin to imagine if there was another Nate floating around out there…although it would be pretty cool if there was a 2nd Trophy Wife! But then again you always hear that somewhere out there, your exact double is floating around… and I understand Facebook used Doppelganger Week to find people’s exact lookalikes due to their Google-esque algorithm research based on people who chose the same celebrity.
Only 2010 can produce such a sentence that actually makes sense!
CLIP OF THE WEEK
I caught this recently… Newsweek got a bunch of its staffers who have never seen Lost to watch the Season Premiere… and then try to explain what is going on!
SECOND CLIP OF THE WEEK
See the first 1:15 of this clip from Real Time with Bill Maher and you will see that Elliot Spitzer’s comeback trail probably should not include panels with Seth MacFarlane. Nonetheless, a very very funny clip!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
J: Leno, Wow, Z, and E-T-S! Part II
Following our theme from our last column…
This week I will start with The Jets and congratulate my team’s co-tenants for an excellent season that led them into the AFC Title Game. Having a rookie quarterback gives them hope for future seasons, although just because a team makes it this far doesn’t mean they are an automatic to make it there the next season…. Check out the Giants of 2 seasons ago for a perfect example. Nonetheless, their coach’s wiseguy comments that the Jets will be THE main tenants in the new Meadowlands Stadium is a bit uncalled for… The fact is The Giants were the main tenants at Giants Stadium and were there first while the Jets were playing at the late lamented Shea Stadium. Now that they have a new Stadium it’s a fresh start so both teams might be on equal footing.. unless the new stadium’s corporate sponsor is the Giant Supermarket chain!
J ay Leno
It is interesting how the theme for Wednesday was Jobs and Jobs. In the morning, Steve Jobs announced the non menstrual related innovative I-pad. Im not quite sure what it does that the I phone doesn’t do… except it has a bigger screen and possibly a keyboard? Then in the evening, President Obama delivered his State of the Union and announced new plans to find jobs for non working Americans. It’s a jungle out there for job hunters and the competition is fierce… It seems like only the most competitive job seekers are able to find the jobs that are out there. That is the American way.
Yet there seems to be an exception when it comes to late night TV.
I have the late night Oprah – Jay Leno replay playing in the background and as I listen to it, I realize that Jay is really not the “bad guy” here. And I must say I am definitely NOT a Jay Leno fan and I like Conan a lot more. Leno stabbed Letterman in the back to get The Tonight Show… but I can’t find fault with him in this situation. I think Conan made a mistake leaving NBC because of his contention that “The Tonight Show” shouldn’t be on at midnight. Time slot? Conan is an Ivy League graduate but doesn’t realize how far that franchise already sank after Jonny Carson left.
Let’s say people start staying up till 11:30 on a weeknight when you are approximately 17 years old. People who are in their early 30’s and younger, have virtually no recollection of Johnny Carson… and you would have to be in your mid to late 60s to remember Jack Paar and Steve Allen as Tonight Show Hosts. For all intents and purposes… it may have been called “The Tonight Show”.. but it really was “The Johnny Carson Show” and he hosted it remarkably consistently well for 30 years.
And while Fox is good at ratings for its News Channel and Prime Time Lineup.. historically it has never been able to get ratings with its late night talk shows with Joan Rivers and Chevy Chase. And now that Conan may be trying to start a new late night franchise, will he really do that much better there than if he would have taken his lumps and stayed with NBC??
Granted Leno was a bit of a jerk when he took over The Tonight Show… (and apparently engineered Carson’s somewhat “early” departure). But this time? I really cant blame him. Leno was a team player five years ago when NBC told him he would lose the show in 2009 even though he was winning the timeslot. But NBC didn’t want to lose Conan or pay him an exit fee if he didn’t get the Tonight Show in 2009. Now after pulling the plug on the 10pm show, NBC loses Conan, a lotta money and has a big problem on their hands if Leno can’t take back the ratings.
The bottom line: Nobody will ever replace Johnny Carson… but at least Conan had a better show. Oh well I guess my idea last week of a 2 hour Leno – Conan Tonight Show ain’t gonna fly.
JWow –
I see where the stars of Jersey Shore are holding out for more money to return for a 2nd season. Following up from last week, I don’t think they need all of them… just Snookie, The Situation, and JWow and possibly Paulie and maybe maybe Vinnie. After watching the reunion show last week, you realize that Ronnie has done a tremendous public service to show people the dangerous mood swings that you get from alleged steroid use! He’s nuts.. especially when during the reunion he dumped Sammi because of something silly she said to The Situation 5 months ago on the “hidden video footage”.
In reality, look how much buzz MTV is getting from this show. The seasons over and people still talk about it. Granted, a lot of it is because it is very well edited, the soap opera scenarios are probably staged and the graphics are well done so you never forget all the character’s names. But I don’t remember the last time there was this much hype and ratings for an MTV show.
I think they should show them the money… if they don’t they risk hiring new wackos who will try to emulate and go even further and turn themselves into caricatures of this seasons group. Can you imagine a girl trying to out Snookie Snookie? And try to out talk and out muscle The Situation? Or top Paulie’s contention that the Israeli girl who doesn’t believe in sex before marriage is nuts one week, and somehow nonchalantly ends up in bed with her the following week? MTV needs these people back… but should also add a few new people to mix it up a little bit.. kind of like one of those All Star Survivor seasons!
J ay Z
Drats those Jay Z owned Nets narrowly avoided immortality winning on Wednesday Night to improve to 4-40. If they would have lost they would have been the first team to start 3-41. I was looking at the trends of other teams that came perilously close to the Sixers immortal 1972-73 73 loss season….thanks to the ESPN site I mentioned last week (which actually has a few mistakes on it). The Nets 4-40 record is still not a guarantee that they wont go 4-34 the rest of the way… actually now that they have 4 wins, the next futility record is the amazing 92-93 Mavericks who were 4-57, and the 72-73 Sixers who were 4-58. Can the Nets actually start a new 18 game losing streak to tie that record?? Or will their 5th win come so far down the road that they can beat the futility mark of 5-58 held by 3 teams?
And how bad a hole did the Nets dig with that 3-40 start? The #8 seed for the playoffs are the Bulls who are .500 dropping the Nets 18 1/2 games out of the last spot. IF the Nets were to win 18 in a row and the Bulls continued playing .500, the Nets would still be 10 games out of the last playoff spot with 20 games left to play!
Interesting note about those Sixers… after starting 4-58 they went on to win 5 of 7 to improve to 9-60… and then lost 13 straight to finish 9-73. However, if a 9 win team is able to run off a 5-2 record in a seven game period, you realize how hard it is to consistently lose so often over the course of a long 82 game season.
Trophy Wife isn’t happy with me that I root for the Nets to lose each night. She says its not nice. Good thing she didn’t know me during the 2000 World Series!
This week I will start with The Jets and congratulate my team’s co-tenants for an excellent season that led them into the AFC Title Game. Having a rookie quarterback gives them hope for future seasons, although just because a team makes it this far doesn’t mean they are an automatic to make it there the next season…. Check out the Giants of 2 seasons ago for a perfect example. Nonetheless, their coach’s wiseguy comments that the Jets will be THE main tenants in the new Meadowlands Stadium is a bit uncalled for… The fact is The Giants were the main tenants at Giants Stadium and were there first while the Jets were playing at the late lamented Shea Stadium. Now that they have a new Stadium it’s a fresh start so both teams might be on equal footing.. unless the new stadium’s corporate sponsor is the Giant Supermarket chain!
J ay Leno
It is interesting how the theme for Wednesday was Jobs and Jobs. In the morning, Steve Jobs announced the non menstrual related innovative I-pad. Im not quite sure what it does that the I phone doesn’t do… except it has a bigger screen and possibly a keyboard? Then in the evening, President Obama delivered his State of the Union and announced new plans to find jobs for non working Americans. It’s a jungle out there for job hunters and the competition is fierce… It seems like only the most competitive job seekers are able to find the jobs that are out there. That is the American way.
Yet there seems to be an exception when it comes to late night TV.
I have the late night Oprah – Jay Leno replay playing in the background and as I listen to it, I realize that Jay is really not the “bad guy” here. And I must say I am definitely NOT a Jay Leno fan and I like Conan a lot more. Leno stabbed Letterman in the back to get The Tonight Show… but I can’t find fault with him in this situation. I think Conan made a mistake leaving NBC because of his contention that “The Tonight Show” shouldn’t be on at midnight. Time slot? Conan is an Ivy League graduate but doesn’t realize how far that franchise already sank after Jonny Carson left.
Let’s say people start staying up till 11:30 on a weeknight when you are approximately 17 years old. People who are in their early 30’s and younger, have virtually no recollection of Johnny Carson… and you would have to be in your mid to late 60s to remember Jack Paar and Steve Allen as Tonight Show Hosts. For all intents and purposes… it may have been called “The Tonight Show”.. but it really was “The Johnny Carson Show” and he hosted it remarkably consistently well for 30 years.
And while Fox is good at ratings for its News Channel and Prime Time Lineup.. historically it has never been able to get ratings with its late night talk shows with Joan Rivers and Chevy Chase. And now that Conan may be trying to start a new late night franchise, will he really do that much better there than if he would have taken his lumps and stayed with NBC??
Granted Leno was a bit of a jerk when he took over The Tonight Show… (and apparently engineered Carson’s somewhat “early” departure). But this time? I really cant blame him. Leno was a team player five years ago when NBC told him he would lose the show in 2009 even though he was winning the timeslot. But NBC didn’t want to lose Conan or pay him an exit fee if he didn’t get the Tonight Show in 2009. Now after pulling the plug on the 10pm show, NBC loses Conan, a lotta money and has a big problem on their hands if Leno can’t take back the ratings.
The bottom line: Nobody will ever replace Johnny Carson… but at least Conan had a better show. Oh well I guess my idea last week of a 2 hour Leno – Conan Tonight Show ain’t gonna fly.
JWow –
I see where the stars of Jersey Shore are holding out for more money to return for a 2nd season. Following up from last week, I don’t think they need all of them… just Snookie, The Situation, and JWow and possibly Paulie and maybe maybe Vinnie. After watching the reunion show last week, you realize that Ronnie has done a tremendous public service to show people the dangerous mood swings that you get from alleged steroid use! He’s nuts.. especially when during the reunion he dumped Sammi because of something silly she said to The Situation 5 months ago on the “hidden video footage”.
In reality, look how much buzz MTV is getting from this show. The seasons over and people still talk about it. Granted, a lot of it is because it is very well edited, the soap opera scenarios are probably staged and the graphics are well done so you never forget all the character’s names. But I don’t remember the last time there was this much hype and ratings for an MTV show.
I think they should show them the money… if they don’t they risk hiring new wackos who will try to emulate and go even further and turn themselves into caricatures of this seasons group. Can you imagine a girl trying to out Snookie Snookie? And try to out talk and out muscle The Situation? Or top Paulie’s contention that the Israeli girl who doesn’t believe in sex before marriage is nuts one week, and somehow nonchalantly ends up in bed with her the following week? MTV needs these people back… but should also add a few new people to mix it up a little bit.. kind of like one of those All Star Survivor seasons!
J ay Z
Drats those Jay Z owned Nets narrowly avoided immortality winning on Wednesday Night to improve to 4-40. If they would have lost they would have been the first team to start 3-41. I was looking at the trends of other teams that came perilously close to the Sixers immortal 1972-73 73 loss season….thanks to the ESPN site I mentioned last week (which actually has a few mistakes on it). The Nets 4-40 record is still not a guarantee that they wont go 4-34 the rest of the way… actually now that they have 4 wins, the next futility record is the amazing 92-93 Mavericks who were 4-57, and the 72-73 Sixers who were 4-58. Can the Nets actually start a new 18 game losing streak to tie that record?? Or will their 5th win come so far down the road that they can beat the futility mark of 5-58 held by 3 teams?
And how bad a hole did the Nets dig with that 3-40 start? The #8 seed for the playoffs are the Bulls who are .500 dropping the Nets 18 1/2 games out of the last spot. IF the Nets were to win 18 in a row and the Bulls continued playing .500, the Nets would still be 10 games out of the last playoff spot with 20 games left to play!
Interesting note about those Sixers… after starting 4-58 they went on to win 5 of 7 to improve to 9-60… and then lost 13 straight to finish 9-73. However, if a 9 win team is able to run off a 5-2 record in a seven game period, you realize how hard it is to consistently lose so often over the course of a long 82 game season.
Trophy Wife isn’t happy with me that I root for the Nets to lose each night. She says its not nice. Good thing she didn’t know me during the 2000 World Series!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
J: Leno, Wow, Z, and E-T-S!
So how about that new background here at NWOW? You did notice, right? We finally changed the background on the site… also known as “the skin” this past New Years Day. I had thought about changing it for New Years 2009, but my attempts to visit a website that had some nifty looking skins a year ago turned disastrous when the site had a spyware virus planted in it.. which I shoulda noticed because I kept getting knocked off while using my usual terrific browser Mozilla Firefox.. Of course, I was a total moron because I went back to that virus filled website…. This time using Internet Explorer which instead of knocking me off like the superior Mozilla, instead instantly paralyzed my system with some horrific spyware and resulted in my hard drive getting wiped clean and I had to start my computer all over again from scratch. All because of a silly G rated “skins” site.. And of course, good lucking watching the computer store owner keep a straight face when you tell him you got the virus from a “skins” site.
This time, I took the easy route and downloaded a background provided by Blogspot/Google!
This year we will also be taking a new tactic with the annual Pumpstradamus predictions. The first two years we did an audio podcast.. the last 2 years we did a video podcast and this year we are doing a good ol’ fashioned Q and A so start posting your questions in the comments section, and we will then pass them along to Pumpstradamus who will then provide his incredible answers. Pumpy will be back in the next couple of weeks to answer all queries!
This week’s column is sponsored by the letter “J”
J ay Leno
I have been waiting to see how this NBC mess worked its way out before commenting on this topic. Over on Facebook, I posted a column by a blogger who questioned the relevancy of appointment television and “the timeslot” in this era of DVRs and watching TV shows on line. Nick Summers borrowed a theme from our most recent movie review with this comment on The Newsweek blog. Sayeth The Summers:
“The new comedy prestige─to be the material that dominates Twitter's trending topics list, to create the clips embedded on a million blogs─has nothing to do with airing on a certain network at a certain time”
First of all, NBC shouldn’t have been so wishy washy a few years back when they told Jay Leno that Conan would take his spot in 2009. But they worried about what would happen if they lost Conan to another network… never realizing that his ratings would be worse than Leno’s and Letterman. But they managed to keep Conan strung along dangling The Tonight Show in front of him… So using their King Solomon wisdom to keep both Leno and Conan, NBC announced there would be a Jay Leno show at 10pm. They thought it would be a cost effective hit.. its relatively low production costs would make it a money maker with lower ratings than a typical hour of network TV. But the local stations forced to carry the show were not exactly thrilled that Jay’s lower 10pm ratings were killing the ratings for the 11pm local news.
Here’s my 2 cents on this fiasco: Even though I agree he is getting screwed, why can’t Conan just swallow his pride and realize that he really is better off staying at NBC? If the Today Show can add 2 hours to itself… including the 10 am hour with Kathy Lee Gifford…why can’t The Tonight Show add an hour too? As crazy as it might sound… Leno would host the 1130 Tonight Show Hour and Conan would host the 1230 Tonight Show hour. And if Leno gets about 10 weeks off each year… on those 10 weeks, The Conan Tonight Show would move up to 11:30 followed by a rerun at 1230…
That would essentially kill The Late Night Show.. but frankly that show really belonged to Letterman and Conan… even though Jimmy Fallon has done a decent job the few times I have seen him.
But don’t you think this idea of The Tonight Show: Hour 2 would cause a lot less aggravation for Conan and his crew whose cross country move seems to be more sympathized than the numerous other shows that move around the world and get cancelled a lot sooner than Conan did.
J WOW
And speaking of one of the shows that stole Jay Leno’s 10pm audience….
Is it true?? Are we really near the end of the road for the first season of Jersey Shore? If indeed that is the case, last week’s oddly scheduled double header (they couldn’t stretch the show another week, airing two 1 hour episodes on consecutive weeks?) may have answered the question… Who is the smartest person on Jersey Shore?
My answer is JWow’s boyfriend.. I will get to why I think that… but it is not because of his odd choice for female companionship… although that boobie displaying bandanna she wears as a shirt when she goes clubbing is quite the gravity defying piece of wardrobe.
Let us hearken back to Hour 1 of last week’s episode, when the crew took a trip to Atlantic City and as far as I can tell, never showed any of our lovable gang of 7 gambling in a casino. We did see Snookie fill a bubble bath with so many bubbles that she looked like a naked Eskimo drunkenly crawling back into an igloo after a crazy night of Penguin tipping. She also was ambushed when she thought she had the gang behind her when she thought everybody would support her confrontation with Sammi that she was spending too much time with Ronnie… eliticing memories of George being left hung out to dry when he confronted Jerry about his nauseating clingy Shmoopie girlfriend in the legendary Soup Nazi episode!
JWow had a little too much to drink that fateful night… and “The Situation” had a different agenda programmed into his Palm Pilot. While he has been increasingly annoyed with Vinny’s odd courtship of his sister, The Situation decided it was payback time in AC and promptly pulled a self proclaimed robbery and stole away some chickie that Vinny had been making out with, using the swift moves not seen since Jay Leno’s zipping back to 11:30 and bumping Conan.
The Situation was making out with this woman at this AC club, when a very drunk, JWow butts in and demands he take her up to their Jersey Shore comped hotel suite because she was too intoxicated to make it back on her own. The Situation told her to press her own elevator button… because he had other stuff to do… She smacked him somewhat gently in the keppie,… and got promptly tossed out of the club which she was really too nauseous to be at anyway.
She got back to the room and ranted and raved about The Situation… and once he returned to the room later that night… she ran right up to him and viciously punched him hard right in the head! This was when we realized that there is a huge crew of muscley Jerry Springer security guys on the sidelines because they all came running almost literally out of the woodwork to pull the crazed JWow away!
It was during the 2nd episode that JWow came back to Seaside… took out the duck phone.. and called her boyfriend… She was now sober, but hung over and as she told the boyfriend the story of the night before about her nightclub confrontation, nightclub ejection and subsequent violent attack of The Situation, the boyfriend responded with this brilliance…
“Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much?”
Ronnie had the line of the week when he was talking about how he and not The Situation had been able to hook up with Sammi. Sayeth the Ronnie:
“I closed that deal… I already have the title for that closing!”
Amazing how Ronnie can use a mortgage analogy at Jersey Shore. However, if indeed this is the end of the season, I wonder if all 7 will be coming back. Frankly, I’m not 100% sure that every single muscle on Ronnie is a result of bar and dumb bells… and based on Snookis fixation on boys who are juiced… I ponder to ask if indeed Mr. Ronnie has been taking some kind of supplement. If you watch the show closely and the silly little fights he and Sammi have.. you start to realize that even though is Sammi a little hormonal with her moods sometimes.. Ronnie seems to be on some kind of emotional mood swinging roller coaster. He gets into fights on the boardwalk because he is easily instigated and you start to wonder if this show is really exposing the ugly side effects of alleged steroid use.
If they bring the show back next year…and I hear they will… I wouldn’t be too upset if Ronnie and Sammie were left off the roster. You really only need Snookie, The Situation, and his trusty Tonto-esque sidekick Paulie. I guess you can bring back Vinny and JWow, because even though their summer was rather uneventful, their constant bickering with The Situation makes the show that much more entertaining.
J ay Z
He is part owner of the Nets and even the team management now admits that this season is done, and they are playing for “The future” when they will have the 1st pick and a halfway decent free agent or 2 before they move outta Jersey and head to Brooklyn.
I believe that the Nets might be the first team ever to spend every day of the season having the “games back from the 8th playoff spot” always higher than their win total! Right now they have 3 wins and they are approx,.16 games behind The Bulls for the 8th spot. Keep in mind the Nets didn’t win a game till they had already lost 18 so after win #1 they were already approx. 10 games out from the #8 spot… Now that we are at the halfway mark, they are on a pace to finish 32 games out of the 8th playoff spot, which means that if the last playoff team finishes .500 the Nets would be close to breaking the record for the worst team ever. They should be farther behind Chicago, but the Nets actually won their only road game in the Windy City!!
At this point, the only thing worth watching of this comical nightly loser fest is the historical perspective of this team’s horrific performance.. The all time worst team was the 72 sixers that went 9-73. ESPN has a terrific site over at http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/features/worstteams . Check it out… and you can see how incredibly awful these Nets rank with other landmark lousy teams. The only difference is… the fans were buying tickets to see a team that would eventually get better. These Nets are leaving town so NJ fans will never see a good team… and the team has actually fessed up to its ineptitude. I got an email from the Nets marketing dept and they actually promote upcoming opponents and their star players… and the implied easy victory coming up during their visit to play those horrific little Swamp Dragons!
The 3-38 Nets have their next milestone lined up: Both the 97 Nuggets and 93 Mavericks started 3-40 but then went on to win the next game to get to 4-40. However if the Nets can lose their next 2 road games, they would return home to play the Clippers next Wednesday to become the first team in NBA history to have a 3-41 record! By the way those 72 sixers actually were 4-58 so the Nets would have to go 1-20 to match that record! (The 92 Mavs were almost that bad… going 4-57.) By the way Philly then went 5-2 to improve to 9-60 before losing their final 13 games.
J-E-T-S… Jets Jets Jets!
I’m a Giants fan and even though I enjoyed the Vikings-Cowboys game more than the Jets game, I wish them and their fans the best of luck on Sunday as they attempt to upset the Colts and head to the Super Bowl.
This time, I took the easy route and downloaded a background provided by Blogspot/Google!
This year we will also be taking a new tactic with the annual Pumpstradamus predictions. The first two years we did an audio podcast.. the last 2 years we did a video podcast and this year we are doing a good ol’ fashioned Q and A so start posting your questions in the comments section, and we will then pass them along to Pumpstradamus who will then provide his incredible answers. Pumpy will be back in the next couple of weeks to answer all queries!
This week’s column is sponsored by the letter “J”
J ay Leno
I have been waiting to see how this NBC mess worked its way out before commenting on this topic. Over on Facebook, I posted a column by a blogger who questioned the relevancy of appointment television and “the timeslot” in this era of DVRs and watching TV shows on line. Nick Summers borrowed a theme from our most recent movie review with this comment on The Newsweek blog. Sayeth The Summers:
“The new comedy prestige─to be the material that dominates Twitter's trending topics list, to create the clips embedded on a million blogs─has nothing to do with airing on a certain network at a certain time”
First of all, NBC shouldn’t have been so wishy washy a few years back when they told Jay Leno that Conan would take his spot in 2009. But they worried about what would happen if they lost Conan to another network… never realizing that his ratings would be worse than Leno’s and Letterman. But they managed to keep Conan strung along dangling The Tonight Show in front of him… So using their King Solomon wisdom to keep both Leno and Conan, NBC announced there would be a Jay Leno show at 10pm. They thought it would be a cost effective hit.. its relatively low production costs would make it a money maker with lower ratings than a typical hour of network TV. But the local stations forced to carry the show were not exactly thrilled that Jay’s lower 10pm ratings were killing the ratings for the 11pm local news.
Here’s my 2 cents on this fiasco: Even though I agree he is getting screwed, why can’t Conan just swallow his pride and realize that he really is better off staying at NBC? If the Today Show can add 2 hours to itself… including the 10 am hour with Kathy Lee Gifford…why can’t The Tonight Show add an hour too? As crazy as it might sound… Leno would host the 1130 Tonight Show Hour and Conan would host the 1230 Tonight Show hour. And if Leno gets about 10 weeks off each year… on those 10 weeks, The Conan Tonight Show would move up to 11:30 followed by a rerun at 1230…
That would essentially kill The Late Night Show.. but frankly that show really belonged to Letterman and Conan… even though Jimmy Fallon has done a decent job the few times I have seen him.
But don’t you think this idea of The Tonight Show: Hour 2 would cause a lot less aggravation for Conan and his crew whose cross country move seems to be more sympathized than the numerous other shows that move around the world and get cancelled a lot sooner than Conan did.
J WOW
And speaking of one of the shows that stole Jay Leno’s 10pm audience….
Is it true?? Are we really near the end of the road for the first season of Jersey Shore? If indeed that is the case, last week’s oddly scheduled double header (they couldn’t stretch the show another week, airing two 1 hour episodes on consecutive weeks?) may have answered the question… Who is the smartest person on Jersey Shore?
My answer is JWow’s boyfriend.. I will get to why I think that… but it is not because of his odd choice for female companionship… although that boobie displaying bandanna she wears as a shirt when she goes clubbing is quite the gravity defying piece of wardrobe.
Let us hearken back to Hour 1 of last week’s episode, when the crew took a trip to Atlantic City and as far as I can tell, never showed any of our lovable gang of 7 gambling in a casino. We did see Snookie fill a bubble bath with so many bubbles that she looked like a naked Eskimo drunkenly crawling back into an igloo after a crazy night of Penguin tipping. She also was ambushed when she thought she had the gang behind her when she thought everybody would support her confrontation with Sammi that she was spending too much time with Ronnie… eliticing memories of George being left hung out to dry when he confronted Jerry about his nauseating clingy Shmoopie girlfriend in the legendary Soup Nazi episode!
JWow had a little too much to drink that fateful night… and “The Situation” had a different agenda programmed into his Palm Pilot. While he has been increasingly annoyed with Vinny’s odd courtship of his sister, The Situation decided it was payback time in AC and promptly pulled a self proclaimed robbery and stole away some chickie that Vinny had been making out with, using the swift moves not seen since Jay Leno’s zipping back to 11:30 and bumping Conan.
The Situation was making out with this woman at this AC club, when a very drunk, JWow butts in and demands he take her up to their Jersey Shore comped hotel suite because she was too intoxicated to make it back on her own. The Situation told her to press her own elevator button… because he had other stuff to do… She smacked him somewhat gently in the keppie,… and got promptly tossed out of the club which she was really too nauseous to be at anyway.
She got back to the room and ranted and raved about The Situation… and once he returned to the room later that night… she ran right up to him and viciously punched him hard right in the head! This was when we realized that there is a huge crew of muscley Jerry Springer security guys on the sidelines because they all came running almost literally out of the woodwork to pull the crazed JWow away!
It was during the 2nd episode that JWow came back to Seaside… took out the duck phone.. and called her boyfriend… She was now sober, but hung over and as she told the boyfriend the story of the night before about her nightclub confrontation, nightclub ejection and subsequent violent attack of The Situation, the boyfriend responded with this brilliance…
“Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much?”
Ronnie had the line of the week when he was talking about how he and not The Situation had been able to hook up with Sammi. Sayeth the Ronnie:
“I closed that deal… I already have the title for that closing!”
Amazing how Ronnie can use a mortgage analogy at Jersey Shore. However, if indeed this is the end of the season, I wonder if all 7 will be coming back. Frankly, I’m not 100% sure that every single muscle on Ronnie is a result of bar and dumb bells… and based on Snookis fixation on boys who are juiced… I ponder to ask if indeed Mr. Ronnie has been taking some kind of supplement. If you watch the show closely and the silly little fights he and Sammi have.. you start to realize that even though is Sammi a little hormonal with her moods sometimes.. Ronnie seems to be on some kind of emotional mood swinging roller coaster. He gets into fights on the boardwalk because he is easily instigated and you start to wonder if this show is really exposing the ugly side effects of alleged steroid use.
If they bring the show back next year…and I hear they will… I wouldn’t be too upset if Ronnie and Sammie were left off the roster. You really only need Snookie, The Situation, and his trusty Tonto-esque sidekick Paulie. I guess you can bring back Vinny and JWow, because even though their summer was rather uneventful, their constant bickering with The Situation makes the show that much more entertaining.
J ay Z
He is part owner of the Nets and even the team management now admits that this season is done, and they are playing for “The future” when they will have the 1st pick and a halfway decent free agent or 2 before they move outta Jersey and head to Brooklyn.
I believe that the Nets might be the first team ever to spend every day of the season having the “games back from the 8th playoff spot” always higher than their win total! Right now they have 3 wins and they are approx,.16 games behind The Bulls for the 8th spot. Keep in mind the Nets didn’t win a game till they had already lost 18 so after win #1 they were already approx. 10 games out from the #8 spot… Now that we are at the halfway mark, they are on a pace to finish 32 games out of the 8th playoff spot, which means that if the last playoff team finishes .500 the Nets would be close to breaking the record for the worst team ever. They should be farther behind Chicago, but the Nets actually won their only road game in the Windy City!!
At this point, the only thing worth watching of this comical nightly loser fest is the historical perspective of this team’s horrific performance.. The all time worst team was the 72 sixers that went 9-73. ESPN has a terrific site over at http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/features/worstteams . Check it out… and you can see how incredibly awful these Nets rank with other landmark lousy teams. The only difference is… the fans were buying tickets to see a team that would eventually get better. These Nets are leaving town so NJ fans will never see a good team… and the team has actually fessed up to its ineptitude. I got an email from the Nets marketing dept and they actually promote upcoming opponents and their star players… and the implied easy victory coming up during their visit to play those horrific little Swamp Dragons!
The 3-38 Nets have their next milestone lined up: Both the 97 Nuggets and 93 Mavericks started 3-40 but then went on to win the next game to get to 4-40. However if the Nets can lose their next 2 road games, they would return home to play the Clippers next Wednesday to become the first team in NBA history to have a 3-41 record! By the way those 72 sixers actually were 4-58 so the Nets would have to go 1-20 to match that record! (The 92 Mavs were almost that bad… going 4-57.) By the way Philly then went 5-2 to improve to 9-60 before losing their final 13 games.
J-E-T-S… Jets Jets Jets!
I’m a Giants fan and even though I enjoyed the Vikings-Cowboys game more than the Jets game, I wish them and their fans the best of luck on Sunday as they attempt to upset the Colts and head to the Super Bowl.
Friday, January 01, 2010
“The Prestige”-ious 200th Column – A Movie Club Review!
Hello everybody… Happy New Year and welcome to our 200th column!
We started NWOW back on November 10, 2005 and 11 days later we presented our first movie review… The First of our Star Wars reviews - Phantom Menace as we reviewed all 6 in chronological order. We have done a few other movie anthologies since, and from the feedback I get, the movie columns are quite popular among the NWOW readers.
But Nate has been a very very bad boy and has been neglecting the movie reviews. We are currently in the middle of the Christian Bale movies… our first review since March 6th (American Psycho) and only our second since October 17, 2008! when we reviewed Empire of the Sun.
Interestingly enough, today’s movie The Prestige is one of my favorites. I have owned the DVD since it came out, I have seen it a few times already, but I needed to sit down with pen and paper to jot down my notes about this incredible flick. This week I took my traditional vacation between Christmas and New Years and the other afternoon, after getting delayed en route to a matinee of Up in the Air (which I ended up seeing a day later), I decided to spend the cold winter afternoon on the couch in my snuggie watching “The Prestige”.
Here is the trailer…
The movie is directed by Christopher Nolan who did the incredible “Memento”.. and once again the story does not unfold in chronological order. We see that Bale’s character... Alfred Borden is in prison, and as he faces execution we discover that he has been convicted of killing another man, Robert Angier played by Hugh Jackman. We soon discover that Jackman and Bale are competing magicians in turn of the century England… not the century we started 10 years ago… the one before that.
The two fellas start out as friendly coworkers.. working as magician’s assistants who are “audience volunteers” They classify the magician they work for as rather vanilla, while at the same time watch with googly eyes as a Chinese magician (must not have been that much going on besides magic in those pre vaudeville days)… catches their attention because of an incredible trick he does at his show involving fishies in a fishbowl.
The two men watch the Chinese magician limp out from his theater into a waiting 1900s model car after the show… and even though he can barely walk with help from his assistants they start to wonder if to quote Doug Henning… the difficulty walking in all… “an allusion”… especially when they figure out what appears to be the only way to logically do the trick… walk around bow legged (or bowl-legged) with a fishbowl between your legs. ... But this appears to be doable only if the magician has incredibly strong legs that would enable him to walk while carrying the bowl under heavy leg obstructing clothing. This leads our boys to speculate that the Chinese magician is able bodied but pretends to be handicapped while in public. Wasn’t there a wheelchair bound shoplifter in the news recently who was caught red handed when he stood up and put merchandise in a hidden compartment under his chair?
And there you have one of the keys as both of these young magicians rise to the top – appearing one way “in public” while in reality hiding secrets about themselves to help sell tickets… However magicians deal in allusions, and one of these fellas decision to “keep a secret about himself” just may not have necessarily been inspired by seeing the Chinese magician.
The two become rivals when during their “audience volunteer” stint Bale’s character accidentally ties a knot that Jackman’s wife (a magicians assistant) can’t quite untie. This is especially a big problem when she is tied up and lowered into a big tank of water. When she can’t get out… the on stage trick engineer…(Michael Caine) has to break the glass to rescue her.. but the subsequent events of that day turn a friendship into a rivalry..
Jackman puts on a disguise and decides to check out Bale’s show but ambushes him while he is performing a magic trick that involves catching a bullet. That results in a long rivalry between the two which also is part of Jackman’s sad obsession with topping Bale’s tricks. We see in flashbacks that “in the end” Bale is on trial for killing Jackman… who drowns during a performance… not behind a curtain on stage, but instead beneath the stage where he drops into a water filled tank below through a trick door in the floor while he is tied up! . The movie then uses flashbacks to tell the story of how these two fellas try to one up each other every chance they get…. in an attempt to be The Best Magician.
And to achieve that Best Magician status is to properly achieve “The Prestige”… the punchline to the trick that usually results in huge ego feeding applause. Prestiges tend to involve making things disappear and then bringing “them” back….which sometime involves a beautiful white dove who has a lookalike return as part of the prestige.
Speaking of making things disappear… how do you like the audacity of those Brazilian kidnappers who seem to have notion that should get visitation rights for that poor little Goldman boy they took away from his dad. Now that the kid is home, I hope a grand jury pulls a Roman Polanski and indicts those kidnappers so if they come to NJ to get the kid, they end up getting arrested again!
In “The Prestige” the ultimate show stopping trick is a pre-Star Trek teleporter. This is where a person gets from Point A to Point B in a time frame that defies logic.,, sort of like when your wife tells you to take out the garbage and it ends up outside in less than an hour. Each man has his own unique way of doing this rather incredible trick…. And while Bale figures out how Jackman does it… Jackman develops an incredibly sickening obsession with figuring out every last detail about Bale’s method. That obsession takes him on a boat to Colorado (Don’t forget we are pre Wright Brothers) where he meets a scientist (played in a jaw dropping performance by an unrecognizable David Bowie) who invents a way for Jackman to do the Teleporting trick… which not only defines the movie’s entire plot, but when revealed to the viewer produces a “Whatchu Talking About Willis” moment. The moviemaker might think that revealing “the prestige” moment will generate applause.. but instead the viewer gets the urge to restart the DVD (or hide in the movie theater) so you can watch the movie again to see how the pieces fit into the puzzle.
Bale, Jackman and Caine are excellent in this movie…. as is the actor who plays Bale’s right hand man. Scarlett Johanson plays a magician's assistant/groupie who works for both of them at different times... She also attracts their male libidos and has an affair with both men - sort of like the T Shirt store owner's girlfriend in Thursday Night's episode of Jersey Shore. And as for Bowie – any time an actor plays a role so well that you don’t realize that is him till the very end… you know you are watching an incredible performance! And he is not the only actor accomplishing that feat in this movie….
And if you have never seen the movie and decide to see it – reread the review after you see it… you might find some clues laid right out in front of you… but like the movie.. you don’t quite catch it right away… because the key to an illusion is not really knowing where to look
This movie is just fantastic and this is coming from a person who is not a big fan of these period pieces… On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom… The Prestige is a 4 bladder movie!!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy goes for his 4th straight winning year this weekend as he enters the final week with a record of 8-7-1. Since Jackman went to Colorado in “The Prestige”…we go there too this week as the Denver Broncos are 13 point favorites over the Chiefs. Sayeth The Pump: “I just got my year end income statement and I was so upset I took out my kerchief and sobbed!… So in honor of my kerchief… take The Chiefs!”
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN OF THE WEEK: Well we totally foshnizzled last week.. going 0-3 to drop to 22-26… 3-9 in the last 4 wks! The Giant game is irrelevant so this week we will visit the other Meadowlands inhabitants and 2 college games.
Bengals 10 doggies over THE JETS – The Jets will not cover this spread.
Boise St. 7 ½ doggies over TCU in the Fiesta Bowl – Gotta get in the habits of watching Monday Nights on FOX since 24 is just a couple of weeks away,
Alabama 4 over Texas – Can you believe its 20 years since Brent Musberger got canned at CBS??… Bear Bryant will be kvelling from the heavens when all is said and done!
We started NWOW back on November 10, 2005 and 11 days later we presented our first movie review… The First of our Star Wars reviews - Phantom Menace as we reviewed all 6 in chronological order. We have done a few other movie anthologies since, and from the feedback I get, the movie columns are quite popular among the NWOW readers.
But Nate has been a very very bad boy and has been neglecting the movie reviews. We are currently in the middle of the Christian Bale movies… our first review since March 6th (American Psycho) and only our second since October 17, 2008! when we reviewed Empire of the Sun.
Interestingly enough, today’s movie The Prestige is one of my favorites. I have owned the DVD since it came out, I have seen it a few times already, but I needed to sit down with pen and paper to jot down my notes about this incredible flick. This week I took my traditional vacation between Christmas and New Years and the other afternoon, after getting delayed en route to a matinee of Up in the Air (which I ended up seeing a day later), I decided to spend the cold winter afternoon on the couch in my snuggie watching “The Prestige”.
Here is the trailer…
The movie is directed by Christopher Nolan who did the incredible “Memento”.. and once again the story does not unfold in chronological order. We see that Bale’s character... Alfred Borden is in prison, and as he faces execution we discover that he has been convicted of killing another man, Robert Angier played by Hugh Jackman. We soon discover that Jackman and Bale are competing magicians in turn of the century England… not the century we started 10 years ago… the one before that.
The two fellas start out as friendly coworkers.. working as magician’s assistants who are “audience volunteers” They classify the magician they work for as rather vanilla, while at the same time watch with googly eyes as a Chinese magician (must not have been that much going on besides magic in those pre vaudeville days)… catches their attention because of an incredible trick he does at his show involving fishies in a fishbowl.
The two men watch the Chinese magician limp out from his theater into a waiting 1900s model car after the show… and even though he can barely walk with help from his assistants they start to wonder if to quote Doug Henning… the difficulty walking in all… “an allusion”… especially when they figure out what appears to be the only way to logically do the trick… walk around bow legged (or bowl-legged) with a fishbowl between your legs. ... But this appears to be doable only if the magician has incredibly strong legs that would enable him to walk while carrying the bowl under heavy leg obstructing clothing. This leads our boys to speculate that the Chinese magician is able bodied but pretends to be handicapped while in public. Wasn’t there a wheelchair bound shoplifter in the news recently who was caught red handed when he stood up and put merchandise in a hidden compartment under his chair?
And there you have one of the keys as both of these young magicians rise to the top – appearing one way “in public” while in reality hiding secrets about themselves to help sell tickets… However magicians deal in allusions, and one of these fellas decision to “keep a secret about himself” just may not have necessarily been inspired by seeing the Chinese magician.
The two become rivals when during their “audience volunteer” stint Bale’s character accidentally ties a knot that Jackman’s wife (a magicians assistant) can’t quite untie. This is especially a big problem when she is tied up and lowered into a big tank of water. When she can’t get out… the on stage trick engineer…(Michael Caine) has to break the glass to rescue her.. but the subsequent events of that day turn a friendship into a rivalry..
Jackman puts on a disguise and decides to check out Bale’s show but ambushes him while he is performing a magic trick that involves catching a bullet. That results in a long rivalry between the two which also is part of Jackman’s sad obsession with topping Bale’s tricks. We see in flashbacks that “in the end” Bale is on trial for killing Jackman… who drowns during a performance… not behind a curtain on stage, but instead beneath the stage where he drops into a water filled tank below through a trick door in the floor while he is tied up! . The movie then uses flashbacks to tell the story of how these two fellas try to one up each other every chance they get…. in an attempt to be The Best Magician.
And to achieve that Best Magician status is to properly achieve “The Prestige”… the punchline to the trick that usually results in huge ego feeding applause. Prestiges tend to involve making things disappear and then bringing “them” back….which sometime involves a beautiful white dove who has a lookalike return as part of the prestige.
Speaking of making things disappear… how do you like the audacity of those Brazilian kidnappers who seem to have notion that should get visitation rights for that poor little Goldman boy they took away from his dad. Now that the kid is home, I hope a grand jury pulls a Roman Polanski and indicts those kidnappers so if they come to NJ to get the kid, they end up getting arrested again!
In “The Prestige” the ultimate show stopping trick is a pre-Star Trek teleporter. This is where a person gets from Point A to Point B in a time frame that defies logic.,, sort of like when your wife tells you to take out the garbage and it ends up outside in less than an hour. Each man has his own unique way of doing this rather incredible trick…. And while Bale figures out how Jackman does it… Jackman develops an incredibly sickening obsession with figuring out every last detail about Bale’s method. That obsession takes him on a boat to Colorado (Don’t forget we are pre Wright Brothers) where he meets a scientist (played in a jaw dropping performance by an unrecognizable David Bowie) who invents a way for Jackman to do the Teleporting trick… which not only defines the movie’s entire plot, but when revealed to the viewer produces a “Whatchu Talking About Willis” moment. The moviemaker might think that revealing “the prestige” moment will generate applause.. but instead the viewer gets the urge to restart the DVD (or hide in the movie theater) so you can watch the movie again to see how the pieces fit into the puzzle.
Bale, Jackman and Caine are excellent in this movie…. as is the actor who plays Bale’s right hand man. Scarlett Johanson plays a magician's assistant/groupie who works for both of them at different times... She also attracts their male libidos and has an affair with both men - sort of like the T Shirt store owner's girlfriend in Thursday Night's episode of Jersey Shore. And as for Bowie – any time an actor plays a role so well that you don’t realize that is him till the very end… you know you are watching an incredible performance! And he is not the only actor accomplishing that feat in this movie….
And if you have never seen the movie and decide to see it – reread the review after you see it… you might find some clues laid right out in front of you… but like the movie.. you don’t quite catch it right away… because the key to an illusion is not really knowing where to look
This movie is just fantastic and this is coming from a person who is not a big fan of these period pieces… On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom… The Prestige is a 4 bladder movie!!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy goes for his 4th straight winning year this weekend as he enters the final week with a record of 8-7-1. Since Jackman went to Colorado in “The Prestige”…we go there too this week as the Denver Broncos are 13 point favorites over the Chiefs. Sayeth The Pump: “I just got my year end income statement and I was so upset I took out my kerchief and sobbed!… So in honor of my kerchief… take The Chiefs!”
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN OF THE WEEK: Well we totally foshnizzled last week.. going 0-3 to drop to 22-26… 3-9 in the last 4 wks! The Giant game is irrelevant so this week we will visit the other Meadowlands inhabitants and 2 college games.
Bengals 10 doggies over THE JETS – The Jets will not cover this spread.
Boise St. 7 ½ doggies over TCU in the Fiesta Bowl – Gotta get in the habits of watching Monday Nights on FOX since 24 is just a couple of weeks away,
Alabama 4 over Texas – Can you believe its 20 years since Brent Musberger got canned at CBS??… Bear Bryant will be kvelling from the heavens when all is said and done!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Top 14 Shows to Watch in 2010
I am a little late with the column this week… getting it on line in the post midnight hours of Saturday Night! It has been an incredibly busy week as I took on new responsibilities at my synagogue’s annual 12/24 event and I must say the hard work paid off as we sold out with approx 230 people attending an event that in past years brought in approximately 100-150. Nonetheless, my usual blogging time got pushed back and I spent Christmas Day sleeping and watching movies including of course ---- A Christmas Story!
Today, NWOW presents a list of the 14 must see shows for next year – 2 of them will not have new episodes next season but I decided to list them anyway because you can still watch the reruns…
Here they are listed by their 2009 watchability rankings
1. Jersey Shore – This show achieved immortality moments into its premiere episode when a young musclehead named Mike proudly proclaimed that his nickname.. usually a name that is shorter than ones real name… is The Situation! A few minutes later a crazy little Elvira lookalike munchkin arrived, announced her name was Snooki and instantly got plastered. Must see TV… but needs an announcement before each episode that these people are not true representatives of typical Italian NJ young adults.
2. 24 – Year in and Year out..24 hits it out of the ballpark with its unique format. Some exciting new characters were brought aboard this year and the show ended on a cliffhanger with Jack Bauer contracting some type of deadly disease. The problem with 24 and the next show on the list is their season only runs January through May and by the time the end of the year lists are written up, you have to scratch your head to remember what was going on several months ago.
3. Lost – Speaking of the Devil… last season Lost really hit a home run with its mind boggling time travel elements and bizarre twists about John Locke and his ability to come back from the dead. I just reread the May 19th column…(Rivers. Islands and Sun – see the archives) to remember all that craziness that was jammed into my head about the season. The show has a ton of fans as is evidenced by the day after recaps on various websites. Even the fantasy baseball q and a’s on Espn.com involve a weekly column where characters ask their questions using the names of Lost characters. Hopefully they will run a last season recap before the season premiere to remind us of what happened in May.
4. Curb Your Enthusiasm – The 2nd to last episode may have been the most brilliant episode of a comedy show in TV history. The whole sub plot involving fictitious Groats disease invading the set of the Seinfeld reunion led to the long anticipated "meeting” between Michael Richards and Leon who is black. Just in case you forgot, a few years back while performing standup at a comedy club, Richards had a meltdown and went into a rather prejudiced rant when he was heckled at a comedy club by some blacks. However, Leon followed the stereotype of black people not knowing the Seinfeld characters and instead went into an adlibbed rant while posing as “Groats survivor Danny Duberstein” about how “Richards” could be cured of Groats disease. Purely hysterical and when the season comes out on DVD… probably in time for the holidays next year…it will be a must have for all Seinfeld/Curb fans. See #14 also.
5. Family Guy – Seth McFarlane is a genius and each week the show gets 9 out of 10 jokes off successfully in this crazy cartoon about a dysfunctional family from Quahog, Rhode Island. Nobody likes the daughter, one son is a moron and the baby boy is possessed. One of the neighbors is paralyzed, the other is perennially horny, and the dog and baby talk better English than anybody else… The pop culture flashbacks are just hysterical 9 times out of 10. Currently its funnier than The Simpsons, but it will not run for as many years.
6. American Dad – Show #2 of 3 from Camp McFarlane ( The 3rd is Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show which may be on next years list) focuses on your typical crazy right wing Republican Family with the rebellious daughter. This guy works for the government and has a fish that talks with a German accent and a flamboyant Paul Lynde sounding alien who has a penchant for dressing up in outrageous wardrobes. Don’t we all have an alien living with us? The show does not use the Family Guy flashbacks, so it depends more on character development to move the story along and some weeks is better than Family Guy. The Christmas episode with Michelle the angel….aka the hooker with wings was very well done!.
7. Big Bang Theory – How could you not like a show with characters named Sheldon and Leonard named after the legendary TV producer who is a distant relative of Trophy Wife? Sheldon steals the show and Kaely Cuoco is perfectly cast as the lovely neighbor who has the bizarrely odd relationship with Leonard. The relationship is not too realistic, yet it gives Sheldon some great opportunities and if this show has a long run like the other CBS Monday sitcoms, the story might evolve into a Penny-Leonard breakup followed by a Penny-Sheldon hook up which would be incredibly oddly funny. The best show on Monday Nights and the best sitcom on network TV
8. Better off Ted – A new addition to our list; I just started watching this workplace gem a few weeks ago and unlike The Office I really find it funny. (I don’t know why, but I just can’t get into The Office)… Nonetheless, Ted is surrounded by a nutty boss played by Portia de Rossi and two bizarre scientists who look like they belong on a Jeopardy Tournament! Last weeks episode where one scientist was sleeping with the mother of another was incredibly funny capped off by a sight gag where a scientist reveals his latest invention – popcorn that pops using the heat inside your mouth. You had to see this to really appreciate it. I hope this show sticks around… it’s got great potential.
9. Jeopardy – There doesn’t seem to be anything else on at 7pm – and I even catch the reruns on GSN. I am leaving off the other classic game shows on GSN because except for the last 2 shows here, I am only listing shows that are still producing new episodes. Even though I don’t know most of the answers, I do feel happy when I know some of them.. and in those rare situations when I get a Final Jeopardy answer that the three contestants all miss… then I feel like a million bucks.
10. Millionaire – After seeing Slumdog Millionaire I started watching it again… The Meredith Vierra version got a little more adventurous this year when they added a timer. They also recently got rid of “phone a friend” much to Google’s chagrin… since friends were just googling to get the right answer. They also did a million dollar tournament in the fall that with a few tweaks could be very entertaining and add an element of contestants competing against each other. Its an entertaining game and more my speed than the much more challenging Jeopardy. The Regis reruns on GSN are also entertaining.
11. How I Met Your Mother – The show trying to stake its claim as the follow up to the Thursday Night Friends/Seinfeld powerhouse. Five entertaining characters who hang out at a local bar – the stories are well told in a non chronological fashion and Neil Patrick Harris has totally reinvented himself post Harold and Kumar with the incredible Barney who has remarkable methods to meet chics… For those of us who are married and live vicariously through our single friends… Barney is a very entertaining character… especially when he comes out with some bizarre philosophies. Great acting job by NPH who is gay in real life!
12. 30 Rock – The behind the scenes look at an SNL type comedy show is quite amusing on a regular basis. Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey lead a strong cast as the network executive and producer of a show hosted by “Tracy Jordan”. The show has been consistently funny this season including a recent episode loaded with gags such as a bizarre look at how high def adversely affects ones appearance when looking at a person close-up. Another bit involved a character who I thought did an incredible Gilbert Gottfriend impression until I found out that it was actually the voice of…. Gilbert Gottfried! Alec Baldwin hasn’t made Thursday Nights this entertaining since he was on Knots Landing!
13. Monk Final Season – Technically not a show I will watch in 2010 but it gets an honorable mention because the final episodes were so brilliantly put together. Monk’s original assistant Sharona returned in one of the late episodes and her character got some closure by hooking up with bumbling cop Randy. And ultimately Monk not only solved the murder of his beloved wife Trudy but also found out that she had had a daughter. That reunion was amusing and very touching. Monk found a new purpose in life.. getting to know Trudy’s grown daughter. We also saw the final scene where Monk goes to a crime scene and finally unbuttons that top button and dresses a little stylish… making you realize that in the world of Monk… alot of the foibles had gone away and in his world everything was going to be ok. I’m sure they will bring the characters back for a reunion movie.. unless a Monk reunion becomes the new project for Larry David on the next season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”.
14. Seinfeld reruns – It was probably the top show in those “Best of the 90s” columns in the pre-blogging era of a decade ago. However that show had a less heartwarming episode as the 4 main characters were sent to prison for not helping a mugging victim. For more than 10 years we have heard the debates of that finale, and the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme this season was an incredible “Seinfeld reunion” which had a new “ending”. George got married, made millions, got ripped off by Madoff and then got dumped by his wife.. only to reconcile with her as long as he would sign a pre-nup not touching his money that she got in the divorce and wisely did not invest with Madoff. Amazingly the first scene with all 4 characters in the “reunion” included just 2 words – Madoff? Madoff. It was all in the tone And after watching this season of Curb… I have started to revisit the Seinfeld reruns which air nightly at 1130 and 1230.
And if we must follow the rules of shows to watch for 2010 you can always substitute 13 and 14 with any of the many CSI’s and Law and Orders.
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
Pumpie tied last week to remain evened up at 7-7-1. This week we go to Cleveland the city where they filmed “A Christmas Story”. In a game only Pumpy cares about, the Browns are 3 ½ point faves over The Raiders. Sayeth the Pump: “MY buddy just went to Cleveland.. so take the Browns!”
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK
Last week we dropped under .500 by going 1-2 to drop to 22-23. The Giants hold the tie breakers and need to win 1 more game than the Packers or Cowboys in order to make the playoffs. In the unlikely event that the Giants lose and the other 2 win… next week we will be picking bowl games!
GIANTS 7 faves over Carolina – The Panthers are coming off a big 4th quarter in the Sunday night win over Minnesota.. but it was late at night and past Brett Favre’s bedtime. Huge game for NY.. in their last game at Giants Stadium.
REDSKINS 6 ½ doggies over Dallas – The Skins should be quite ticked after last weeks Monday Night Debacle… and you won’t be seeing that crazy trick play again where all the players ran away so quick you thought the center farted.
Seahawks 14 doggies over GREEN BAY – Hopefully Seattle can sneak in and help the Giants… but they will probably just cover the spread.
NEXT WEEK: We welcome a new decade with our 200th column!
Today, NWOW presents a list of the 14 must see shows for next year – 2 of them will not have new episodes next season but I decided to list them anyway because you can still watch the reruns…
Here they are listed by their 2009 watchability rankings
1. Jersey Shore – This show achieved immortality moments into its premiere episode when a young musclehead named Mike proudly proclaimed that his nickname.. usually a name that is shorter than ones real name… is The Situation! A few minutes later a crazy little Elvira lookalike munchkin arrived, announced her name was Snooki and instantly got plastered. Must see TV… but needs an announcement before each episode that these people are not true representatives of typical Italian NJ young adults.
2. 24 – Year in and Year out..24 hits it out of the ballpark with its unique format. Some exciting new characters were brought aboard this year and the show ended on a cliffhanger with Jack Bauer contracting some type of deadly disease. The problem with 24 and the next show on the list is their season only runs January through May and by the time the end of the year lists are written up, you have to scratch your head to remember what was going on several months ago.
3. Lost – Speaking of the Devil… last season Lost really hit a home run with its mind boggling time travel elements and bizarre twists about John Locke and his ability to come back from the dead. I just reread the May 19th column…(Rivers. Islands and Sun – see the archives) to remember all that craziness that was jammed into my head about the season. The show has a ton of fans as is evidenced by the day after recaps on various websites. Even the fantasy baseball q and a’s on Espn.com involve a weekly column where characters ask their questions using the names of Lost characters. Hopefully they will run a last season recap before the season premiere to remind us of what happened in May.
4. Curb Your Enthusiasm – The 2nd to last episode may have been the most brilliant episode of a comedy show in TV history. The whole sub plot involving fictitious Groats disease invading the set of the Seinfeld reunion led to the long anticipated "meeting” between Michael Richards and Leon who is black. Just in case you forgot, a few years back while performing standup at a comedy club, Richards had a meltdown and went into a rather prejudiced rant when he was heckled at a comedy club by some blacks. However, Leon followed the stereotype of black people not knowing the Seinfeld characters and instead went into an adlibbed rant while posing as “Groats survivor Danny Duberstein” about how “Richards” could be cured of Groats disease. Purely hysterical and when the season comes out on DVD… probably in time for the holidays next year…it will be a must have for all Seinfeld/Curb fans. See #14 also.
5. Family Guy – Seth McFarlane is a genius and each week the show gets 9 out of 10 jokes off successfully in this crazy cartoon about a dysfunctional family from Quahog, Rhode Island. Nobody likes the daughter, one son is a moron and the baby boy is possessed. One of the neighbors is paralyzed, the other is perennially horny, and the dog and baby talk better English than anybody else… The pop culture flashbacks are just hysterical 9 times out of 10. Currently its funnier than The Simpsons, but it will not run for as many years.
6. American Dad – Show #2 of 3 from Camp McFarlane ( The 3rd is Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show which may be on next years list) focuses on your typical crazy right wing Republican Family with the rebellious daughter. This guy works for the government and has a fish that talks with a German accent and a flamboyant Paul Lynde sounding alien who has a penchant for dressing up in outrageous wardrobes. Don’t we all have an alien living with us? The show does not use the Family Guy flashbacks, so it depends more on character development to move the story along and some weeks is better than Family Guy. The Christmas episode with Michelle the angel….aka the hooker with wings was very well done!.
7. Big Bang Theory – How could you not like a show with characters named Sheldon and Leonard named after the legendary TV producer who is a distant relative of Trophy Wife? Sheldon steals the show and Kaely Cuoco is perfectly cast as the lovely neighbor who has the bizarrely odd relationship with Leonard. The relationship is not too realistic, yet it gives Sheldon some great opportunities and if this show has a long run like the other CBS Monday sitcoms, the story might evolve into a Penny-Leonard breakup followed by a Penny-Sheldon hook up which would be incredibly oddly funny. The best show on Monday Nights and the best sitcom on network TV
8. Better off Ted – A new addition to our list; I just started watching this workplace gem a few weeks ago and unlike The Office I really find it funny. (I don’t know why, but I just can’t get into The Office)… Nonetheless, Ted is surrounded by a nutty boss played by Portia de Rossi and two bizarre scientists who look like they belong on a Jeopardy Tournament! Last weeks episode where one scientist was sleeping with the mother of another was incredibly funny capped off by a sight gag where a scientist reveals his latest invention – popcorn that pops using the heat inside your mouth. You had to see this to really appreciate it. I hope this show sticks around… it’s got great potential.
9. Jeopardy – There doesn’t seem to be anything else on at 7pm – and I even catch the reruns on GSN. I am leaving off the other classic game shows on GSN because except for the last 2 shows here, I am only listing shows that are still producing new episodes. Even though I don’t know most of the answers, I do feel happy when I know some of them.. and in those rare situations when I get a Final Jeopardy answer that the three contestants all miss… then I feel like a million bucks.
10. Millionaire – After seeing Slumdog Millionaire I started watching it again… The Meredith Vierra version got a little more adventurous this year when they added a timer. They also recently got rid of “phone a friend” much to Google’s chagrin… since friends were just googling to get the right answer. They also did a million dollar tournament in the fall that with a few tweaks could be very entertaining and add an element of contestants competing against each other. Its an entertaining game and more my speed than the much more challenging Jeopardy. The Regis reruns on GSN are also entertaining.
11. How I Met Your Mother – The show trying to stake its claim as the follow up to the Thursday Night Friends/Seinfeld powerhouse. Five entertaining characters who hang out at a local bar – the stories are well told in a non chronological fashion and Neil Patrick Harris has totally reinvented himself post Harold and Kumar with the incredible Barney who has remarkable methods to meet chics… For those of us who are married and live vicariously through our single friends… Barney is a very entertaining character… especially when he comes out with some bizarre philosophies. Great acting job by NPH who is gay in real life!
12. 30 Rock – The behind the scenes look at an SNL type comedy show is quite amusing on a regular basis. Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey lead a strong cast as the network executive and producer of a show hosted by “Tracy Jordan”. The show has been consistently funny this season including a recent episode loaded with gags such as a bizarre look at how high def adversely affects ones appearance when looking at a person close-up. Another bit involved a character who I thought did an incredible Gilbert Gottfriend impression until I found out that it was actually the voice of…. Gilbert Gottfried! Alec Baldwin hasn’t made Thursday Nights this entertaining since he was on Knots Landing!
13. Monk Final Season – Technically not a show I will watch in 2010 but it gets an honorable mention because the final episodes were so brilliantly put together. Monk’s original assistant Sharona returned in one of the late episodes and her character got some closure by hooking up with bumbling cop Randy. And ultimately Monk not only solved the murder of his beloved wife Trudy but also found out that she had had a daughter. That reunion was amusing and very touching. Monk found a new purpose in life.. getting to know Trudy’s grown daughter. We also saw the final scene where Monk goes to a crime scene and finally unbuttons that top button and dresses a little stylish… making you realize that in the world of Monk… alot of the foibles had gone away and in his world everything was going to be ok. I’m sure they will bring the characters back for a reunion movie.. unless a Monk reunion becomes the new project for Larry David on the next season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”.
14. Seinfeld reruns – It was probably the top show in those “Best of the 90s” columns in the pre-blogging era of a decade ago. However that show had a less heartwarming episode as the 4 main characters were sent to prison for not helping a mugging victim. For more than 10 years we have heard the debates of that finale, and the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme this season was an incredible “Seinfeld reunion” which had a new “ending”. George got married, made millions, got ripped off by Madoff and then got dumped by his wife.. only to reconcile with her as long as he would sign a pre-nup not touching his money that she got in the divorce and wisely did not invest with Madoff. Amazingly the first scene with all 4 characters in the “reunion” included just 2 words – Madoff? Madoff. It was all in the tone And after watching this season of Curb… I have started to revisit the Seinfeld reruns which air nightly at 1130 and 1230.
And if we must follow the rules of shows to watch for 2010 you can always substitute 13 and 14 with any of the many CSI’s and Law and Orders.
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
Pumpie tied last week to remain evened up at 7-7-1. This week we go to Cleveland the city where they filmed “A Christmas Story”. In a game only Pumpy cares about, the Browns are 3 ½ point faves over The Raiders. Sayeth the Pump: “MY buddy just went to Cleveland.. so take the Browns!”
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK
Last week we dropped under .500 by going 1-2 to drop to 22-23. The Giants hold the tie breakers and need to win 1 more game than the Packers or Cowboys in order to make the playoffs. In the unlikely event that the Giants lose and the other 2 win… next week we will be picking bowl games!
GIANTS 7 faves over Carolina – The Panthers are coming off a big 4th quarter in the Sunday night win over Minnesota.. but it was late at night and past Brett Favre’s bedtime. Huge game for NY.. in their last game at Giants Stadium.
REDSKINS 6 ½ doggies over Dallas – The Skins should be quite ticked after last weeks Monday Night Debacle… and you won’t be seeing that crazy trick play again where all the players ran away so quick you thought the center farted.
Seahawks 14 doggies over GREEN BAY – Hopefully Seattle can sneak in and help the Giants… but they will probably just cover the spread.
NEXT WEEK: We welcome a new decade with our 200th column!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Welcome to New Jersey Part III: Snooki? She Must Be Italian
“It seems today,
That all you see,
Is violence in movies,
and sex on T.V.”
Shouldn’t this be the theme song for Thursday’s episode of “Jersey Shore”?
Yes folks… we called it the night it premiered… not only is this program loaded with the most entertaining characters on reality show history… but you can find parallels between the shenanigans at the shore house and real life current events.
Lets catch up with the key highlights involving that wacky Cast of 6 plus Vinnie who is really like Chuck on Happy Days… he’s there but you really never see him:
This week the term “The Situation” became even more mainstream. Not only was it the punchline on a Letterman Top 10 list… but The Situation appeared as a guest on Conan O’Brien, on Wendy Williams, and in a comedy skit on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He even presented Conan with his own nickname - “The Solution”. It makes no sense.. but its still funny in that Situation-esque way.
During Thursday’s episode, Paulie discovered that Ronnie is getting a lot of screen time with his sordid affair with Sammie. By the way, who washes the housemates sheets? They never seem to do laundry! Paulie realized he needed a new way to get on the air. After seeing Vinny practicing his fist pumping off camera, Paulie did not want to be releaged to back burner status so he decided to become The Situation’s wing man and hang out with him as he attempts to introduce young ladies to “The Situation”.
The Sammi-Ronnie hook ups are one of those deals where you hope that if they have a kid their genes skip a generation so the kids will end up with at least some brains. The episode picked up where last week’s left off where Sammi mistakenly thought Paulie left a club with JWow/Sham Wow. Paulie truthfully reported that nothing was going on, but Sammi just wouldn’t let it go. A friend of mine claims that during part of the argument, Sammi actually sat on the toilet… but I wasn’t sure. Ultimately the episode revealed that Sammi has major insecurity issues.
Now let’s see if I have this right… Paulie and The Situation hook up with 2 chics at the bar while Snookie hooks up with a guy she thinks is Ron… yet his name is really Russ. Can you imagine the late Tim Russert referring to his dad as Big Ron? Has any other blogger been able to find a connection between Russert and this show? Meanwhile, it turns out that Russ is really friends with Sham Wow’s boyfriend… (or is it J-Wow?) and is on a spy mission to report that her braless fake bozooms have been bouncing around with young Mr. Paulie. The Situation and Paulie leave the club with their 2 girls en route to the hot tub, but then they see 2 better looking chics in a convertible so they simply walk away from Pair o’ Chics #1 to try to hot tub it with Pair o’ Chics #2…
Pair o’ Chics #2 end up headed back to the house as Snookie leaves with Ron-Russ. But in a moment that totally disproved last week’s theory that she is intelligent, Snookie gets lost finding her beach house and decides to take Ron-Russ to the beach instead where they just hang out. Meanwhile back at the house, Pair o’ Chics #2 turn out to be very dull and The Situation finds himself… in a situation. But not to worry… because there is a knock on the door, and guess who is standing there? Pair o’ Chics #1! Which means that Pair o’ Chics #1 were able to somehow figure out where the house is located… while Snookie who actually lives there was wandering the streets of Seaside!!
Ultimately Chic #1 from Pair o’ Chics #1 appears to be hooking up with The Situation… but Paulie wants no part of Chic #2 who is a tad annoying. He breaks the cardinal rule of being a wingman and just walks away from her leaving the 2 girls with The Situation… but Chic #2 starts kvetching again so ultimately her friend ditches her and heads back to a bedroom for some hoochie mscoochie. Of course not the smartest idea… what is the annoying girl going to do since the Wingman stopped guarding her?? She barges into the bedroom…. Interrupts our young lovers…and tells her friend she is making a big mistake. Once again, The Situation ends up…. in a situation!
Last week I discovered something very interesting about the Situation… despite his well proportioned 6 pack and his womanizing ways, he really deep down seems to be a half decent guy… And not only does he give himself a nickname… but he also has nicknames for other people too. He has one for Conan O’Brien… He called one of his many failed conquests Freckles McGee and he called another girl with an odd personality “The Grenade.”
This was when I realized that The Situation is really…. Sawyer from Lost. I mean c’mon.. he has the 6-pack… he can’t seem to get it right with women… AND he always has a nickname for everybody!
Now for the news stories this week!
THE NETS SITUATION
Before we accuse our Gang of 6 plus Vinny of being New Jersey’s biggest embarrassment… The New Jersey Nets continue to have the stranglehold on that prestigious title. The Nets are already 9 1/2 games out of the last playoff spot… and they have only won 2 games! How are they supposed to make up that deficit? And whereas 2 wks ago I said the team has chutzpah to charge for tickets, the action of this past week shows that their audacity has no boundaries.
This week the move to Brooklyn edged closer to reality. The NY Court’s decision to allow Eminent Domain helped them considerably and now bonds are going to be purchased that will free up money to construct the new arena which means the Nets are pretty much finished in NJ after playing the next 2 lame duck seasons.
But… there was talk in Trenton this week about introducing a bill to create a truce between the Meadowlands Arena… home of the Nets.. and the new Prudential Center, which lured the Devils and Seton Hall basketball from the older arena. A lawmaker in Trenton introduced a bill this week that would allow a deal between the two competing arenas that sporting events would move to Pru and the Meadowlands would host non sporting events… This deal would be funded by a new $3 surcharge that would be added on to tickets purchased at either arena.
And the centerpiece to this deal is the Lame Duck NJ Nets would play in Newark for the next 2 seasons and then head off to Brooklyn.
Luckily, a loophole to bail out of this asinine deal came up when it was decided to table the discussions until the new Governor takes office in January! But without cooler heads prevailing, it would have meant that not only do Nets fans have to pay for tickets.. but all fans attending events at either arena would have had to cough up 3 bucks to allow the worst team in the NBA the privilege to play in a nicer arena! How crazy is that?
My solution: The Nets are so awful… send them packing right now.. If they want to play in Brooklyn… send them there for their next home games and all the games thereafter! If the Cincinnati college football coach had to leave immediately after taking the Notre Dame job, then let the Nets play at Brooklyn College! At least Brooklyn fans can get the chance to start to watch the Nets develop into a team that is not mathematically eliminated from the playoff race by Christmas!.
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: We New Jerseyans expect our teams to be loyal to us! And the day we see our lovable Gang of 6 plus Vinnie head to Nathan’s and Coney Island instead of Seaside… then they should get the boot too!
THE GOLDMAN BRAZIL CUSTODY SITUATION
This past week’s episode also featured Snooki’s mom… a rather non descript woman who really wasn’t outrageous like her daughter… She just struck me as a nice lady, and as Snooki’s mom.. a very patient lady. The two hung out together and after she left you realized that Snooki is quite immature because she was near tears after her mom drove off. It was only 2 wks since they saw each other!! Didn’t she ever go to sleep away camp??
This week in the news we also saw that poor David Goldman is again at odds with that evil Brazilian family that stole his son. He hopped on a plane to rightfully claim his child from those kidnappers after the Brazilian Supreme Court ruled in his favor, but once again those corrupt bastards filed an appeal and again deprived the boy of being where he belongs. If his mother was still alive, one could understand keeping him down there.. but she kidnapped the kid, took him to Brazil and then punched her one way ticket to Hell when she died during childbirth. God works in mysterious ways.
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: See how happy Snooki is when is with her mom. Kids belong with their parents!
THE WILLIAMSBURG BIKE PATH SITUATION
Bicylcists had their bike lanes removed in the ultra religious area of Williamsburg. Rumor has it that the religious Jewish community is upset because the female bikers are scantily dressed, but publicly the Chusids say the bike lanes run right past school bus stops putting the little pishers right in the way of the bicylcists. Saturday, a group of female bikers decided to hold a protest – topless as the chusids walked quickly to and from the synagogue!
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: If Snooki can go to a club and do back flips in a mini skirt that showed too many details about her thong – then I guess anything is possible!
A CHRISTMAS STORY ON TBS MARATHON SITUATION
Next Thursday Night is 24 hours of A Christmas Story… I already plan to watch next week’s Jersey Shore with regular pronouncements of “Snookie… she must be Italian!”. And again we will see Ralphie get his mouth washed out with soap for cursing and see his incredible violent attack on the school bully Scut Farkus!
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: If you wanted to see cursing and violence,… you may have watched the last five minutes of Jersey Shore. That was when we saw the much heralded but blacked out scene where Snooki was punched in the face by a drunk guy at a bar. MTV aired domestic violence disclaimers at the end of the show.
It is really unfortunate how rampant violence is getting. All of these people who want to be “reality stars” see the shenanigans on The Jerry Springer Show. Even though I am convinced it is almost entirely all staged, why is it acceptable that Springer Guests resort to violence to hash out their problems as a source of entertainment?
Take a lesson from Snooki.. there is no place for that type of behavior. During the Monk finale when Monk was poisoned, the doctor told him the poison will cause vomiting… and then death! Monk was very upset to hear he would be vomiting. In the preview for the next Jersey Shore episode - we see Snooki immediately after she is assaulted… and her first concern – “Did I crack a tooth?”
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
Last week Pumpy AND Unbiased Giants fan dropped to .500. Pumpy goes into next week all even at 7-7. This week in honor of Rutgers playing in the St. Petersburg Bowl, we go to Miami where the Dolphins are in Tennesee where the Titans are 3 point faves. Sayeth the Pump: “I decided to work out (like The Situation) and I lost weight so now I can Tighten my belt… so take The Titans!”
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:
Last week we went 1-2 to even things up at 21-21.
Giants 3 faves over WASHINGTON – The Giants need to win 1 more than Dallas the next 3 wks to make the playoffs. I usually go with the home dogs on Monday Night.. but this week I will make an exception.
Minnesota 9 faves over CAROLINA– The Giants final 2 opponents face each other Sunday - if the Vikings win the next 2 they will bench their starters for most of Game 16 which could very well be a huge game for the Giants!
49ers 8 ½ doggies over PHILADELPHIA – Time for the Eagles to come back to Earth.
That all you see,
Is violence in movies,
and sex on T.V.”
Shouldn’t this be the theme song for Thursday’s episode of “Jersey Shore”?
Yes folks… we called it the night it premiered… not only is this program loaded with the most entertaining characters on reality show history… but you can find parallels between the shenanigans at the shore house and real life current events.
Lets catch up with the key highlights involving that wacky Cast of 6 plus Vinnie who is really like Chuck on Happy Days… he’s there but you really never see him:
This week the term “The Situation” became even more mainstream. Not only was it the punchline on a Letterman Top 10 list… but The Situation appeared as a guest on Conan O’Brien, on Wendy Williams, and in a comedy skit on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He even presented Conan with his own nickname - “The Solution”. It makes no sense.. but its still funny in that Situation-esque way.
During Thursday’s episode, Paulie discovered that Ronnie is getting a lot of screen time with his sordid affair with Sammie. By the way, who washes the housemates sheets? They never seem to do laundry! Paulie realized he needed a new way to get on the air. After seeing Vinny practicing his fist pumping off camera, Paulie did not want to be releaged to back burner status so he decided to become The Situation’s wing man and hang out with him as he attempts to introduce young ladies to “The Situation”.
The Sammi-Ronnie hook ups are one of those deals where you hope that if they have a kid their genes skip a generation so the kids will end up with at least some brains. The episode picked up where last week’s left off where Sammi mistakenly thought Paulie left a club with JWow/Sham Wow. Paulie truthfully reported that nothing was going on, but Sammi just wouldn’t let it go. A friend of mine claims that during part of the argument, Sammi actually sat on the toilet… but I wasn’t sure. Ultimately the episode revealed that Sammi has major insecurity issues.
Now let’s see if I have this right… Paulie and The Situation hook up with 2 chics at the bar while Snookie hooks up with a guy she thinks is Ron… yet his name is really Russ. Can you imagine the late Tim Russert referring to his dad as Big Ron? Has any other blogger been able to find a connection between Russert and this show? Meanwhile, it turns out that Russ is really friends with Sham Wow’s boyfriend… (or is it J-Wow?) and is on a spy mission to report that her braless fake bozooms have been bouncing around with young Mr. Paulie. The Situation and Paulie leave the club with their 2 girls en route to the hot tub, but then they see 2 better looking chics in a convertible so they simply walk away from Pair o’ Chics #1 to try to hot tub it with Pair o’ Chics #2…
Pair o’ Chics #2 end up headed back to the house as Snookie leaves with Ron-Russ. But in a moment that totally disproved last week’s theory that she is intelligent, Snookie gets lost finding her beach house and decides to take Ron-Russ to the beach instead where they just hang out. Meanwhile back at the house, Pair o’ Chics #2 turn out to be very dull and The Situation finds himself… in a situation. But not to worry… because there is a knock on the door, and guess who is standing there? Pair o’ Chics #1! Which means that Pair o’ Chics #1 were able to somehow figure out where the house is located… while Snookie who actually lives there was wandering the streets of Seaside!!
Ultimately Chic #1 from Pair o’ Chics #1 appears to be hooking up with The Situation… but Paulie wants no part of Chic #2 who is a tad annoying. He breaks the cardinal rule of being a wingman and just walks away from her leaving the 2 girls with The Situation… but Chic #2 starts kvetching again so ultimately her friend ditches her and heads back to a bedroom for some hoochie mscoochie. Of course not the smartest idea… what is the annoying girl going to do since the Wingman stopped guarding her?? She barges into the bedroom…. Interrupts our young lovers…and tells her friend she is making a big mistake. Once again, The Situation ends up…. in a situation!
Last week I discovered something very interesting about the Situation… despite his well proportioned 6 pack and his womanizing ways, he really deep down seems to be a half decent guy… And not only does he give himself a nickname… but he also has nicknames for other people too. He has one for Conan O’Brien… He called one of his many failed conquests Freckles McGee and he called another girl with an odd personality “The Grenade.”
This was when I realized that The Situation is really…. Sawyer from Lost. I mean c’mon.. he has the 6-pack… he can’t seem to get it right with women… AND he always has a nickname for everybody!
Now for the news stories this week!
THE NETS SITUATION
Before we accuse our Gang of 6 plus Vinny of being New Jersey’s biggest embarrassment… The New Jersey Nets continue to have the stranglehold on that prestigious title. The Nets are already 9 1/2 games out of the last playoff spot… and they have only won 2 games! How are they supposed to make up that deficit? And whereas 2 wks ago I said the team has chutzpah to charge for tickets, the action of this past week shows that their audacity has no boundaries.
This week the move to Brooklyn edged closer to reality. The NY Court’s decision to allow Eminent Domain helped them considerably and now bonds are going to be purchased that will free up money to construct the new arena which means the Nets are pretty much finished in NJ after playing the next 2 lame duck seasons.
But… there was talk in Trenton this week about introducing a bill to create a truce between the Meadowlands Arena… home of the Nets.. and the new Prudential Center, which lured the Devils and Seton Hall basketball from the older arena. A lawmaker in Trenton introduced a bill this week that would allow a deal between the two competing arenas that sporting events would move to Pru and the Meadowlands would host non sporting events… This deal would be funded by a new $3 surcharge that would be added on to tickets purchased at either arena.
And the centerpiece to this deal is the Lame Duck NJ Nets would play in Newark for the next 2 seasons and then head off to Brooklyn.
Luckily, a loophole to bail out of this asinine deal came up when it was decided to table the discussions until the new Governor takes office in January! But without cooler heads prevailing, it would have meant that not only do Nets fans have to pay for tickets.. but all fans attending events at either arena would have had to cough up 3 bucks to allow the worst team in the NBA the privilege to play in a nicer arena! How crazy is that?
My solution: The Nets are so awful… send them packing right now.. If they want to play in Brooklyn… send them there for their next home games and all the games thereafter! If the Cincinnati college football coach had to leave immediately after taking the Notre Dame job, then let the Nets play at Brooklyn College! At least Brooklyn fans can get the chance to start to watch the Nets develop into a team that is not mathematically eliminated from the playoff race by Christmas!.
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: We New Jerseyans expect our teams to be loyal to us! And the day we see our lovable Gang of 6 plus Vinnie head to Nathan’s and Coney Island instead of Seaside… then they should get the boot too!
THE GOLDMAN BRAZIL CUSTODY SITUATION
This past week’s episode also featured Snooki’s mom… a rather non descript woman who really wasn’t outrageous like her daughter… She just struck me as a nice lady, and as Snooki’s mom.. a very patient lady. The two hung out together and after she left you realized that Snooki is quite immature because she was near tears after her mom drove off. It was only 2 wks since they saw each other!! Didn’t she ever go to sleep away camp??
This week in the news we also saw that poor David Goldman is again at odds with that evil Brazilian family that stole his son. He hopped on a plane to rightfully claim his child from those kidnappers after the Brazilian Supreme Court ruled in his favor, but once again those corrupt bastards filed an appeal and again deprived the boy of being where he belongs. If his mother was still alive, one could understand keeping him down there.. but she kidnapped the kid, took him to Brazil and then punched her one way ticket to Hell when she died during childbirth. God works in mysterious ways.
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: See how happy Snooki is when is with her mom. Kids belong with their parents!
THE WILLIAMSBURG BIKE PATH SITUATION
Bicylcists had their bike lanes removed in the ultra religious area of Williamsburg. Rumor has it that the religious Jewish community is upset because the female bikers are scantily dressed, but publicly the Chusids say the bike lanes run right past school bus stops putting the little pishers right in the way of the bicylcists. Saturday, a group of female bikers decided to hold a protest – topless as the chusids walked quickly to and from the synagogue!
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: If Snooki can go to a club and do back flips in a mini skirt that showed too many details about her thong – then I guess anything is possible!
A CHRISTMAS STORY ON TBS MARATHON SITUATION
Next Thursday Night is 24 hours of A Christmas Story… I already plan to watch next week’s Jersey Shore with regular pronouncements of “Snookie… she must be Italian!”. And again we will see Ralphie get his mouth washed out with soap for cursing and see his incredible violent attack on the school bully Scut Farkus!
JERSEY SHORE CONNECTION: If you wanted to see cursing and violence,… you may have watched the last five minutes of Jersey Shore. That was when we saw the much heralded but blacked out scene where Snooki was punched in the face by a drunk guy at a bar. MTV aired domestic violence disclaimers at the end of the show.
It is really unfortunate how rampant violence is getting. All of these people who want to be “reality stars” see the shenanigans on The Jerry Springer Show. Even though I am convinced it is almost entirely all staged, why is it acceptable that Springer Guests resort to violence to hash out their problems as a source of entertainment?
Take a lesson from Snooki.. there is no place for that type of behavior. During the Monk finale when Monk was poisoned, the doctor told him the poison will cause vomiting… and then death! Monk was very upset to hear he would be vomiting. In the preview for the next Jersey Shore episode - we see Snooki immediately after she is assaulted… and her first concern – “Did I crack a tooth?”
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
Last week Pumpy AND Unbiased Giants fan dropped to .500. Pumpy goes into next week all even at 7-7. This week in honor of Rutgers playing in the St. Petersburg Bowl, we go to Miami where the Dolphins are in Tennesee where the Titans are 3 point faves. Sayeth the Pump: “I decided to work out (like The Situation) and I lost weight so now I can Tighten my belt… so take The Titans!”
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:
Last week we went 1-2 to even things up at 21-21.
Giants 3 faves over WASHINGTON – The Giants need to win 1 more than Dallas the next 3 wks to make the playoffs. I usually go with the home dogs on Monday Night.. but this week I will make an exception.
Minnesota 9 faves over CAROLINA– The Giants final 2 opponents face each other Sunday - if the Vikings win the next 2 they will bench their starters for most of Game 16 which could very well be a huge game for the Giants!
49ers 8 ½ doggies over PHILADELPHIA – Time for the Eagles to come back to Earth.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Welcome to New Jersey Part II
Happy Hannukah everybody!
Time for a recap of the Week in NJ… first the latest on the Gay Marriage Issue.. followed by the latest news from the best new show on TV… “Jersey Shore”
Gay “Marriage” is one on of those topics that I really am not that passionate about… yet I am writing about it today because I need to honor my commitment to turn out a column each week in the Fall to go along with the Pumpstradamus football picks.
This weeks update on Gay Marriage in NJ: Lame duck Governor Jon Corzine supports it…. Incoming Republican savior Chris Christie says he will veto it. I am not quite sure why Gay Marriage has become such a hot topic for the Republicans. The vote that was scheduled for last week was bounced from the State Senate and instead will be moved over to the State Assembly.
OK now time to recap the 2nd episode of “Jersey Shore”?
I mean, c’mon I may be in my very very late 30s but I just find the show very entertaining. It’s a reality show just for us Joiseyans. And although I am sympathetic to Italian Americans who take offense to the characters on this show… I think most people realize that the Guidos and Guidettes on this show are not truly representative of the typical younger generation of Italian Americans… remember that point, I will tie that in to gay marriage later in this column!
Thursday’s episode further showed evidence that if this was the strategic game of “Guido Seaside Heights Survivor” Snooki and The Situation would be the final 2 because they seem to have the most common sense among the rest of the crew. . Two of the girls – Jwow and Angelina somehow managed to get dumped by their boyfriends. Jwow had “cheated” last wk when she saw a Guido Shmeckle.. and when she fessed up on the phone to indiscretions.. her boyfriend abruptly hung up. Angelina was so distraught about her break-up that she was too sick to work her shift at the boardwalk t shirt store and subsequently copped a ‘tude to her boss and was fired, and then left the show. The rest of the house yawned,
Later that night at 11pm, I found myself skipping my nightly dose of Chuck and Sue and instead stayed with MTV for the “Jersey Shore” post game show… a panel show with a hostess and 3 cast members. The Situation was there along with Sammi and he used his “sleazy to the point that hes actually likeable” charm to show Sammi she missed the boat by hooking up with a different guy. During Thursday’s episode she went on a miniature golfing date with her boytoy Ronnie, he wore a wacky hat that made him look like Peter Pan.
They then brought out Angelina who continues to have delusions of mediocrity…. She announced that she and that bf are no longer together.. however that bf was also married at the time… even though Angelina used some kind of twisted white trash term to explain that he was separated from his wife. It was also interesting to note that Angelina admitted that she had met the Situation before the show had started taping… the 2 had “hooked up” once before – yet in the premiere they acted as if they had never met… which on 2nd thought could actually make sense… since most of these hookups appear to take place in an alcohol fueled daze.
But one of the wackiest moments involved loveable Snookie… who gets punched in next weeks episode – who brings her female bartender friend back to the hot tub…(still not used by the other female housemates; see last week’s column for my Warren Commission theory about why they don’t use it)… and the next thing you know, Snookie announces she feels like making out with someone and starts slobbering with her girl friend!
And then I started to wonder if this would change my mind about Gay Marriage.
And no – I won’t. I agree with Washington State’s “anything but” vote last November, but my issue with Gay Marriage is solely based on one reason – and that is the definition of the word “marriage”…Keep in mind I am more than 100% supportive of gay partners getting all of the legal benefits that a heterosexual couple is entitled to… although that does open a can of worms for straight couples who live together and can’t get those benefits.
The only thing with me.. is the word is the word… men can’t be “pregnant”… despite what that one loony kazoonie pregnant guy says… When it comes to math – numbers are black and white with no gray area. Language is a little different.. there is a gray area.. but if the definition of “marriage” is a union between a man and a woman… I don’t know how a same sex couple can be married to each other.
I think its also important to note the protests are being conducted by nutjobs living in the past who protest gay marriage because they think its an immoral lifestyle. Because even though gay sex is not my type of thing, many other things are not my type of thing such as voting for George Bush, chopped liver and going to the ballet. But who am I to say that others cant participate in an activity that isn’t “my type of thing”?
The Hasidic Jews who have been protesting gay marriage are attracting a lot of attention on this topic too… as has the Catholic Church. I think the chusids should have spent time protesting outside screenings of “Trembling Before God”… that movie that portrayed their anti gay stance and made them look a lot worse than the homosexual “sinners” they protest against. I think its time for people to accept that the concept of accepting homosexuals is here to stay.
And the one argument that is tough to debate is people who don’t want gays showing public displays of affection. We live in a society where its perfectly normal to see a straight couple holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek. I don’t want to see anybody doing more than that in public, yet how do you answer parents of confused young kids who witness 2 men or 2 women holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek.
And ultimately NJ will go like every other state. The politicians want the gay vote so they will vote for it… but ultimately once it goes on the ballot, the voters will probably end up rejecting it just like every other state. But most of us are not voting that way because we are the “anti gay” fringe… we are the anti gay ‘marriage“ group.
And like the Italian Americans who are annoyed with “Jersey Shore”, I think its important to differentiate those of us voting no on the language terms from those people who are anti Gay for some bizarre antiquated moral reason. We find ourselves in the same battle like the Italian Americans who don’t want to be compared to the wacky 5 on “Jersey Shore”
And I say 5 because Angelina is gone leaving 7 in that house, and I still think that “The Situation” and Snooki have brains that are loaded with common sense. If you saw the premiere episode, you saw how she misunderstood her roomies attacks on skanky girls as being a direct attack on her… even though that conversation had NOTHING to do with her. Was this paranoia… or a misunderstanding typical for a Three’s Company episode?? Incidentally one blogger described The Situation as Don Knotts with a 6 pack!
Actually Snooki is incredibly paranoid and insecure. She isn’t dumb… she just has some type of mental illness!. And her insecurity is as big as The Situations bizarre sense of self confidence. But just because she is paranoid and insecure doesn’t necessarily make her a dummy… unless she starts protesting that homosexuals are immoral people!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK:
Pumpy improved to 7-6 with his incredible prediction of Miami over the Patriots. This week, with all this talk about gay marriage and "Jersey Shore"... Jersey is where we go as the New York Jets are 3 point road faves over Tampa Bay: Sayeth the Pump: "Take the bucs because between 2 kids and a new house - I need a lot of bucks!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:
Last week we went 1-2 to drop to 20-19... and like Pumpy we go into week 14 1 game over .500.
GIANTS 1 fave over The Eagles - The Cowgirls fans are also rooting for the Giants this week.. but oddly there is a playoff possibility where an Eagle division win and a Giant wild card tie with Dallas would knock Dallas out of the post season. Nonetheless, I'm picking the Giants!
San Diego 3 doggies over DALLAS - The Chargers have been hot with a streak that started against The Giants.. a game we all remember with dread!
BEARS 3 doggies over Green Bay - Then again, Packers with the wild card, and Giants and Eagles getting in is also a nice scenario... this week take da bears!
CLIP OF THE WEEK: I like Neil Diamond... and amazingly he has remade The Adam Sandler Hannukah Song! Happy Hannukah!
Time for a recap of the Week in NJ… first the latest on the Gay Marriage Issue.. followed by the latest news from the best new show on TV… “Jersey Shore”
Gay “Marriage” is one on of those topics that I really am not that passionate about… yet I am writing about it today because I need to honor my commitment to turn out a column each week in the Fall to go along with the Pumpstradamus football picks.
This weeks update on Gay Marriage in NJ: Lame duck Governor Jon Corzine supports it…. Incoming Republican savior Chris Christie says he will veto it. I am not quite sure why Gay Marriage has become such a hot topic for the Republicans. The vote that was scheduled for last week was bounced from the State Senate and instead will be moved over to the State Assembly.
OK now time to recap the 2nd episode of “Jersey Shore”?
I mean, c’mon I may be in my very very late 30s but I just find the show very entertaining. It’s a reality show just for us Joiseyans. And although I am sympathetic to Italian Americans who take offense to the characters on this show… I think most people realize that the Guidos and Guidettes on this show are not truly representative of the typical younger generation of Italian Americans… remember that point, I will tie that in to gay marriage later in this column!
Thursday’s episode further showed evidence that if this was the strategic game of “Guido Seaside Heights Survivor” Snooki and The Situation would be the final 2 because they seem to have the most common sense among the rest of the crew. . Two of the girls – Jwow and Angelina somehow managed to get dumped by their boyfriends. Jwow had “cheated” last wk when she saw a Guido Shmeckle.. and when she fessed up on the phone to indiscretions.. her boyfriend abruptly hung up. Angelina was so distraught about her break-up that she was too sick to work her shift at the boardwalk t shirt store and subsequently copped a ‘tude to her boss and was fired, and then left the show. The rest of the house yawned,
Later that night at 11pm, I found myself skipping my nightly dose of Chuck and Sue and instead stayed with MTV for the “Jersey Shore” post game show… a panel show with a hostess and 3 cast members. The Situation was there along with Sammi and he used his “sleazy to the point that hes actually likeable” charm to show Sammi she missed the boat by hooking up with a different guy. During Thursday’s episode she went on a miniature golfing date with her boytoy Ronnie, he wore a wacky hat that made him look like Peter Pan.
They then brought out Angelina who continues to have delusions of mediocrity…. She announced that she and that bf are no longer together.. however that bf was also married at the time… even though Angelina used some kind of twisted white trash term to explain that he was separated from his wife. It was also interesting to note that Angelina admitted that she had met the Situation before the show had started taping… the 2 had “hooked up” once before – yet in the premiere they acted as if they had never met… which on 2nd thought could actually make sense… since most of these hookups appear to take place in an alcohol fueled daze.
But one of the wackiest moments involved loveable Snookie… who gets punched in next weeks episode – who brings her female bartender friend back to the hot tub…(still not used by the other female housemates; see last week’s column for my Warren Commission theory about why they don’t use it)… and the next thing you know, Snookie announces she feels like making out with someone and starts slobbering with her girl friend!
And then I started to wonder if this would change my mind about Gay Marriage.
And no – I won’t. I agree with Washington State’s “anything but” vote last November, but my issue with Gay Marriage is solely based on one reason – and that is the definition of the word “marriage”…Keep in mind I am more than 100% supportive of gay partners getting all of the legal benefits that a heterosexual couple is entitled to… although that does open a can of worms for straight couples who live together and can’t get those benefits.
The only thing with me.. is the word is the word… men can’t be “pregnant”… despite what that one loony kazoonie pregnant guy says… When it comes to math – numbers are black and white with no gray area. Language is a little different.. there is a gray area.. but if the definition of “marriage” is a union between a man and a woman… I don’t know how a same sex couple can be married to each other.
I think its also important to note the protests are being conducted by nutjobs living in the past who protest gay marriage because they think its an immoral lifestyle. Because even though gay sex is not my type of thing, many other things are not my type of thing such as voting for George Bush, chopped liver and going to the ballet. But who am I to say that others cant participate in an activity that isn’t “my type of thing”?
The Hasidic Jews who have been protesting gay marriage are attracting a lot of attention on this topic too… as has the Catholic Church. I think the chusids should have spent time protesting outside screenings of “Trembling Before God”… that movie that portrayed their anti gay stance and made them look a lot worse than the homosexual “sinners” they protest against. I think its time for people to accept that the concept of accepting homosexuals is here to stay.
And the one argument that is tough to debate is people who don’t want gays showing public displays of affection. We live in a society where its perfectly normal to see a straight couple holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek. I don’t want to see anybody doing more than that in public, yet how do you answer parents of confused young kids who witness 2 men or 2 women holding hands or giving each other a peck on the cheek.
And ultimately NJ will go like every other state. The politicians want the gay vote so they will vote for it… but ultimately once it goes on the ballot, the voters will probably end up rejecting it just like every other state. But most of us are not voting that way because we are the “anti gay” fringe… we are the anti gay ‘marriage“ group.
And like the Italian Americans who are annoyed with “Jersey Shore”, I think its important to differentiate those of us voting no on the language terms from those people who are anti Gay for some bizarre antiquated moral reason. We find ourselves in the same battle like the Italian Americans who don’t want to be compared to the wacky 5 on “Jersey Shore”
And I say 5 because Angelina is gone leaving 7 in that house, and I still think that “The Situation” and Snooki have brains that are loaded with common sense. If you saw the premiere episode, you saw how she misunderstood her roomies attacks on skanky girls as being a direct attack on her… even though that conversation had NOTHING to do with her. Was this paranoia… or a misunderstanding typical for a Three’s Company episode?? Incidentally one blogger described The Situation as Don Knotts with a 6 pack!
Actually Snooki is incredibly paranoid and insecure. She isn’t dumb… she just has some type of mental illness!. And her insecurity is as big as The Situations bizarre sense of self confidence. But just because she is paranoid and insecure doesn’t necessarily make her a dummy… unless she starts protesting that homosexuals are immoral people!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK:
Pumpy improved to 7-6 with his incredible prediction of Miami over the Patriots. This week, with all this talk about gay marriage and "Jersey Shore"... Jersey is where we go as the New York Jets are 3 point road faves over Tampa Bay: Sayeth the Pump: "Take the bucs because between 2 kids and a new house - I need a lot of bucks!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:
Last week we went 1-2 to drop to 20-19... and like Pumpy we go into week 14 1 game over .500.
GIANTS 1 fave over The Eagles - The Cowgirls fans are also rooting for the Giants this week.. but oddly there is a playoff possibility where an Eagle division win and a Giant wild card tie with Dallas would knock Dallas out of the post season. Nonetheless, I'm picking the Giants!
San Diego 3 doggies over DALLAS - The Chargers have been hot with a streak that started against The Giants.. a game we all remember with dread!
BEARS 3 doggies over Green Bay - Then again, Packers with the wild card, and Giants and Eagles getting in is also a nice scenario... this week take da bears!
CLIP OF THE WEEK: I like Neil Diamond... and amazingly he has remade The Adam Sandler Hannukah Song! Happy Hannukah!
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Welcome To New Jersey: The “Situation” State
I just watched the finale of Monk and I see they left the door open for a future Monk Movie. I can see it now – Randy calls Monk to come to NJ because Sharona got a job on the MTV Reality show “Jersey Shore” and he is worried that she is cheating on him. Hilarity ensues when Monk goes undercover to the beach house in Seaside and slowly eases his way into the hot tub filled with Guidettes that the House Guidos picked up at a local bar,
Just when I thought I was going to do a column about Tiger Woods’ marriage being as shaky as a Nets Season Ticket salesman’s job security…. I came across the greatest thing I have seen on Television since Danny Duberstein gave pep talks to Groats Disease sufferers – the premiere of the new MTV show “Jersey Shore”.
I really don’t know where to start – on the one hand you have the biggest joke in New Jersey… and then on the other hand I could talk about the other topic…. The biggest joke in New Jersey! Three years ago I went through a phase where I started watching all the crazy reality shows on MTV… I blogged about that here on NWOW back on August 4, 2006 where I shot the average demographic age of the MTV viewer through the roof.. I just reread that column for the first time in awhile, and it was interesting to note that during the summer of ’06 I got so fed up with cable coverage of the problems in the Middle East (along with idiot liberal Jews more concerned with giving Mel Gibson a 2nd chance than the wellbeing of heroic Israeli soldiers who were taken captive) that I started to watch MTV reality shows.
That column was actually about MTV’s 25th anniversary in 2006 and I talked about the dating show “Next”… There was also a dating show where the parents watched videos of their kids dates called Parental Control… along with a pretty neat “inspirational” – type show called “Why Cant I be You?” hosted by a guy named Nick Zano who I thought dropped off the face of the Earth until I discovered that he plays Josh on Cougar Town.
We are also home to The NJ Nets whose 0-18 start was the focal point of the sports universe.. but after starting a 1 game winning streak Friday Night, the 1-18 record gives them a little break from critical scrutiny. Keep in mind that now that they have 1 win they can realize that they are already 6 ½ games out a of a playoff spot.
The NJ Nets may go down as the worst team in NBA history. Just the events of the last week show how horrific the situation has gotten. Sunday they fired the coach.. actually I should say he was let out of his misery. They then proceeded to tie the 0-17 record by losing to the Lakers in LA. A day or so later they appointed Kiki Vandeghwe as “interim coach”… the ownership situation is so uncertain at the moment that nobody gets a long term contract. And if you caught the Star Ledger coverage of the story… Vandeweghe was pretty much forced into the job by the team’s President…
Then on the night that Jason Kidd came home, the Nets set the all time record at 0-18. And even though they will not end up winless like last year’s winless Detroit Lions 0-16 record, the fact is that this may be the biggest disaster in sports history… yet the team has the audacity to ask people to PAY FOR TICKETS! What a nerve!
The irony about Kidd is that that trade was actually a pretty good one for the Nets.. they unloaded his contract a few years ago after he told the team he wanted to get out and got a pretty good player in return- Devin Harris. However, the Nets front office looked at the Kidd trade not as a way to get good young talent.. but instead as an opportunity to dump their good players. They subsequently traded away Richard Jefferson and Vince Carter and got almost nothing in return. Nothing. But they saved a lot of money so instead of paying players, the disgraced lameduck owner Bruce Ratner can pay his lawyers to help him boot out local residents from their Brooklyn homes through eminent domain so he can build his sports complex that will make him richer.
I remember how MLB kicked out George Steinbrenner in the early 1990s when he got mixed up with some monkey business. Maybe NBA commissioner David Stern should boot out Ratner too… and do it soon because New Jersey Nets basketball should not be charging "fans" to watch a very substandard product with no hope for improvement until they move out of state.
And speaking of the early 1990s…I remember the post collegiate years of trips to the Jersey Shore and the “people watching” I used to do there. Now almost 20 years later, its good to see that the next generation is still pretty much the same as evidenced by Thursday Night’s premiere of “Jersey Shore” on MTV,
This is one of those reality shows that is not a competition or a life improvement … its just watching 8 goofballs who don’t know each other thrown together in one house. Its not an unusual sequence. But when you take 8 self proclaimed guidos and guidettes and toss them in a house in Seaside… and then get a very slick video editor… you know you have something special.
The premiere aired Thursday night and has been airing repeatedly ever since. Once you start watching this … you start to Thank God that you it is not an eclipse because you can’t just look away. Of the 8, a few got more airtime than the others… with the standouts being a small girl named Nicole aka Snooki, a guy nicknamed “The Situation” and a girl whose nickname is based on Ms Lopez and calls herself JWow… you might know her cousin the ShamWow. Theres also a guy who proudly announces he is a college graduate and demonstrates his 4 yrs of higher education by showcasing his excellent skills as a fist pumper. And then there is Sammi.. a Guidette who is also the only NJ resident on the show.
We meet all 8 in the premiere 2 hr episode – and of course its interspersed with well edited “talk to the camera” segments where each character moves the story along talking about what is going on… as their name appears on screen… while grainy Jersey Shore footage rolls in the background. The 8 get to live at the house, but have to work for their landlord.. a guy named Danny who owns a Boardwalk T Shirt store.
Two of the women have boyfriends… yet one proclaims that she has officially cheated when she catches a glimpse of a Guido shmeckle. Another girl with a boyfriend rips a t shirt off one of the guys and then leaves the club with the shirt leaving him shirtless (Not a bad idea when you work at a t shirt store)… Instead she decides to go eat ham and drink water which might really mean something else.. but then again what do I know?
But the heart and soul of the premiere is “The Situation”…. A man who announces that he will hook up with Sammi… when he decides they will. The 2nd night when they went clubbing… (one of the housemates caught pinkeye and couldn’t get a replacement for the pm shift at the store because everybody else had to “get ready”: for their evening activities.. even though the T shirt store closes 2 hrs before the scheduled departure time)… “The Situation” was making his move only to see her walk away from him and start making out with another Guido cast member instead. Of course a fight later breaks out. By the way, you gotta see the shirt this girl wore to this club!
But the other thing I find interesting is how these girls talk about their boyfriends but get ticked off when the guys bring girls back to the house.. which is not too difficult when you have a camera crew following you around. We also catch on to Nicole Snooki’s intense paranoia when she hears the other girls criticizing the “whores and skanks” and Nicole thinks they are talking about her!
But the funniest thing is when those female guests go into the Jacuzzi with the Guidos and proceed to remove clothing. The female housemates (Not Nicole who is either puking or with a guy who is puking) start heckling the girls in the hot tub. But if they have boyfriends… why would they care so much? And then it occurs to me… The Guidettes on “Jersey Shore” (except Nicole)… never ever go in the hot tub probably because they are so worried about the germ killing abilities of the chemicals in their Jacuzzi that they think that those one night stand chics are leaving some kind of diseased deposits in the Jacuzzi water.
Or maybe they just watch a lot of Monk?
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK:
Last week Pumpy won to get back to .500 at 6-6. This week we go to Florida where Tiger Woods is doing some major damage control after he was caught doing some hocus McPocus. The Dolphins are (only) 3 point home doggies to The Patriots. Sayeth The Pump: “I just went to get a Shark tattoo, but instead they gave me a Dolphin,… Oh wait. That wasn’t me.. I saw that in a commercial… Take The Dolphins!
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:
Last week we went 2-1 to improve to 19-17.
GIANTS 2 doggies over Dallas – A must win if the Giants want to play in the post season. They are still alive if they lose, but they would need A LOT of help.
ATLANTA 5 ½ doggies over Philadelphia – That Eagles comeback over Washington last week was a tough blow for Giants fans…
Baltimore 3 doggies over GREEN BAY – The Ravens are coming off a good win… of course that logic hopefully won’t apply to the Eagles.
Just when I thought I was going to do a column about Tiger Woods’ marriage being as shaky as a Nets Season Ticket salesman’s job security…. I came across the greatest thing I have seen on Television since Danny Duberstein gave pep talks to Groats Disease sufferers – the premiere of the new MTV show “Jersey Shore”.
I really don’t know where to start – on the one hand you have the biggest joke in New Jersey… and then on the other hand I could talk about the other topic…. The biggest joke in New Jersey! Three years ago I went through a phase where I started watching all the crazy reality shows on MTV… I blogged about that here on NWOW back on August 4, 2006 where I shot the average demographic age of the MTV viewer through the roof.. I just reread that column for the first time in awhile, and it was interesting to note that during the summer of ’06 I got so fed up with cable coverage of the problems in the Middle East (along with idiot liberal Jews more concerned with giving Mel Gibson a 2nd chance than the wellbeing of heroic Israeli soldiers who were taken captive) that I started to watch MTV reality shows.
That column was actually about MTV’s 25th anniversary in 2006 and I talked about the dating show “Next”… There was also a dating show where the parents watched videos of their kids dates called Parental Control… along with a pretty neat “inspirational” – type show called “Why Cant I be You?” hosted by a guy named Nick Zano who I thought dropped off the face of the Earth until I discovered that he plays Josh on Cougar Town.
We are also home to The NJ Nets whose 0-18 start was the focal point of the sports universe.. but after starting a 1 game winning streak Friday Night, the 1-18 record gives them a little break from critical scrutiny. Keep in mind that now that they have 1 win they can realize that they are already 6 ½ games out a of a playoff spot.
The NJ Nets may go down as the worst team in NBA history. Just the events of the last week show how horrific the situation has gotten. Sunday they fired the coach.. actually I should say he was let out of his misery. They then proceeded to tie the 0-17 record by losing to the Lakers in LA. A day or so later they appointed Kiki Vandeghwe as “interim coach”… the ownership situation is so uncertain at the moment that nobody gets a long term contract. And if you caught the Star Ledger coverage of the story… Vandeweghe was pretty much forced into the job by the team’s President…
Then on the night that Jason Kidd came home, the Nets set the all time record at 0-18. And even though they will not end up winless like last year’s winless Detroit Lions 0-16 record, the fact is that this may be the biggest disaster in sports history… yet the team has the audacity to ask people to PAY FOR TICKETS! What a nerve!
The irony about Kidd is that that trade was actually a pretty good one for the Nets.. they unloaded his contract a few years ago after he told the team he wanted to get out and got a pretty good player in return- Devin Harris. However, the Nets front office looked at the Kidd trade not as a way to get good young talent.. but instead as an opportunity to dump their good players. They subsequently traded away Richard Jefferson and Vince Carter and got almost nothing in return. Nothing. But they saved a lot of money so instead of paying players, the disgraced lameduck owner Bruce Ratner can pay his lawyers to help him boot out local residents from their Brooklyn homes through eminent domain so he can build his sports complex that will make him richer.
I remember how MLB kicked out George Steinbrenner in the early 1990s when he got mixed up with some monkey business. Maybe NBA commissioner David Stern should boot out Ratner too… and do it soon because New Jersey Nets basketball should not be charging "fans" to watch a very substandard product with no hope for improvement until they move out of state.
And speaking of the early 1990s…I remember the post collegiate years of trips to the Jersey Shore and the “people watching” I used to do there. Now almost 20 years later, its good to see that the next generation is still pretty much the same as evidenced by Thursday Night’s premiere of “Jersey Shore” on MTV,
This is one of those reality shows that is not a competition or a life improvement … its just watching 8 goofballs who don’t know each other thrown together in one house. Its not an unusual sequence. But when you take 8 self proclaimed guidos and guidettes and toss them in a house in Seaside… and then get a very slick video editor… you know you have something special.
The premiere aired Thursday night and has been airing repeatedly ever since. Once you start watching this … you start to Thank God that you it is not an eclipse because you can’t just look away. Of the 8, a few got more airtime than the others… with the standouts being a small girl named Nicole aka Snooki, a guy nicknamed “The Situation” and a girl whose nickname is based on Ms Lopez and calls herself JWow… you might know her cousin the ShamWow. Theres also a guy who proudly announces he is a college graduate and demonstrates his 4 yrs of higher education by showcasing his excellent skills as a fist pumper. And then there is Sammi.. a Guidette who is also the only NJ resident on the show.
We meet all 8 in the premiere 2 hr episode – and of course its interspersed with well edited “talk to the camera” segments where each character moves the story along talking about what is going on… as their name appears on screen… while grainy Jersey Shore footage rolls in the background. The 8 get to live at the house, but have to work for their landlord.. a guy named Danny who owns a Boardwalk T Shirt store.
Two of the women have boyfriends… yet one proclaims that she has officially cheated when she catches a glimpse of a Guido shmeckle. Another girl with a boyfriend rips a t shirt off one of the guys and then leaves the club with the shirt leaving him shirtless (Not a bad idea when you work at a t shirt store)… Instead she decides to go eat ham and drink water which might really mean something else.. but then again what do I know?
But the heart and soul of the premiere is “The Situation”…. A man who announces that he will hook up with Sammi… when he decides they will. The 2nd night when they went clubbing… (one of the housemates caught pinkeye and couldn’t get a replacement for the pm shift at the store because everybody else had to “get ready”: for their evening activities.. even though the T shirt store closes 2 hrs before the scheduled departure time)… “The Situation” was making his move only to see her walk away from him and start making out with another Guido cast member instead. Of course a fight later breaks out. By the way, you gotta see the shirt this girl wore to this club!
But the other thing I find interesting is how these girls talk about their boyfriends but get ticked off when the guys bring girls back to the house.. which is not too difficult when you have a camera crew following you around. We also catch on to Nicole Snooki’s intense paranoia when she hears the other girls criticizing the “whores and skanks” and Nicole thinks they are talking about her!
But the funniest thing is when those female guests go into the Jacuzzi with the Guidos and proceed to remove clothing. The female housemates (Not Nicole who is either puking or with a guy who is puking) start heckling the girls in the hot tub. But if they have boyfriends… why would they care so much? And then it occurs to me… The Guidettes on “Jersey Shore” (except Nicole)… never ever go in the hot tub probably because they are so worried about the germ killing abilities of the chemicals in their Jacuzzi that they think that those one night stand chics are leaving some kind of diseased deposits in the Jacuzzi water.
Or maybe they just watch a lot of Monk?
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK:
Last week Pumpy won to get back to .500 at 6-6. This week we go to Florida where Tiger Woods is doing some major damage control after he was caught doing some hocus McPocus. The Dolphins are (only) 3 point home doggies to The Patriots. Sayeth The Pump: “I just went to get a Shark tattoo, but instead they gave me a Dolphin,… Oh wait. That wasn’t me.. I saw that in a commercial… Take The Dolphins!
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK:
Last week we went 2-1 to improve to 19-17.
GIANTS 2 doggies over Dallas – A must win if the Giants want to play in the post season. They are still alive if they lose, but they would need A LOT of help.
ATLANTA 5 ½ doggies over Philadelphia – That Eagles comeback over Washington last week was a tough blow for Giants fans…
Baltimore 3 doggies over GREEN BAY – The Ravens are coming off a good win… of course that logic hopefully won’t apply to the Eagles.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
TV Sort of Quarterly Report - Part II
Happy Thanksgiving!!
As I prepared this column a week ago, I was about to write about how aside from the last season of Monk on Fridays, there are only 2 good nights of TV – but last Wednesday as I got ready to watch Law and Order SVU – I saw a promo on ABC for the new show Modern Family that featured an appearance by Elizabeth Banks! Well homina homina homina.. I have been a fan of hers since she was in The 40 Year Old Virgin hot tub scene. I decided to skip L and O and watch Banks instead, so now I guess I will slightly amend my opinion about TV only having 2 good nights.
After stumbling into the Elizabeth Banks episode – I actually liked Modern Family. Since I am new to the show I am not as familiar with the characters like the tv columnists who have press releases to held id the different characters on these ensemble shows. The Banks character was friends with 2 gay guys who recently adopted a baby. The show is about a big extended family and I have no idea who these people are just yet, except the patriarch is Ed O’Neill from Married With Children and he apparently married a much younger woman. (I only saw 2 episodes folks). He is quite sharp and easily prevents his teenage granddaughters attempts to leave a family dinner to hang out with her boyfriend. Another character who I think was Ed’s daughter gets her husband a “thoughtful” birthday present when she gets a personalized performance from a member of her husband’s favorite 80s band… Spandau Ballet. Only it turns out the husband never liked Spandau Ballet and didn't even know any of their songs. While watching the episode, I thought it really was the guy from SB... but I later found out it was actually actor Ed Norton.
The other new show is the much hyped Cougar Town. That show was ok but one of the episodes featured a woman played by Rachael Harris playing exactly the same kind of character she played in The Hangover.. the bitchy wife! The characters have different names.. but they are exactly the same!! It seems like the actress is getting typecast… Its too early to tell if I will stay with this one.. again there are a lot of characters and I’m still trying to figure out who’s who.
This season I seem to have stopped watching longtime favorites Heroes and Desperate Housewives and have replaced them with a comedy heavy lineup. I also like that new Shark Tank show but it seems to be off the air now, replaced by V which I watched religiously when it was on NBC in the 80s.. but I have not caught the new version yet.
SUNDAYS WITH SETH AND LARRY
Hands down the funniest night on Television.. and actually it might be TOO funny.
Sundays with Seth – What the heck is in Seth MacFarlane’s DNA and what made him so brilliant?
2 weeks ago it was hour after hour of Seth. Not only his triple header of Cleveland Show, Family Guy and American Dad but he also had a variety show one night that was quite funny too. Clips of Family Guy were worked into the show and it was quite odd to see the show with a laugh track as the variety show’s audience was laughing with delight. The bit about Marlee Martlin’s voice was pretty tacky but then again is that really such a shock that a Seth MacFarlane production would be tacky?
I really can only handle 2 episodes of Sundays with Seth in one setting because I still need to save some yuks for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Therefore, I haven’t really started to watch Cleveland, but even a glance here and there is getting me hooked. The Thanksgiving episode with Auntie Mama last week was hilarious and made me realize that the transvestite character modeled after Mama on What’s Happening is part of Seth’s motivation to create this show. He grew up watching all the black sitcoms and really had no forum to spoof them on his other cartoon shows. So he did what everyone else does who has 2 cartoons. He created a 3rd. He also had a funny episode a couple of weeks ago when his step daughter was supposed to take a chastity vow.. but his son did so instead which greatly upset Cleveland and pointed out the hypocrisy that sexually active teenage boys and girls have a double standard. Maybe Adam Lambert is on to something.
Family Guy and American Dad continue to roll around with typical hysterics. The concept of Stuie cloning himself and calling his clone Bitch Stuie was priceless… including his little homoerotic bathtub time with his over-eager-to-please clone. After awhile the episodes get all mixed up in my brain and I would probably have to consult tvsquad to remember what last week’s episode was about. Cant they just alternate American Dad with Cleveland Show to prevent Seth overload? Then again, some nights AD is the best of the 3 shows. Last week’s show with Stan falling in love with a band (which I later found out was a real band - after Spandau Ballet, I thought it was all fake!) was quite amusing as he swooned over them like a lovestruck teen.
Oh that’s right, the episode showed Quagmire fessing up to Brian about why he doesn’t like him… it sounded like something from Festivus.
And speaking of which…
Curb Your Enthusiasm… possibly the best show on TV this season, and Larry David has a chance to give the person who created Twilight a run for the money for Entertainment Weekly’s Entertainer of the Year.
The season picked up where last year’s left off… as Larry (the man who inspired George on Seinfeld) hooked up with Loretta Black at the end of last season. The new season starts, and Black has cancer, and Larry wants out.. so he figures out a way to get her out of his house and decides to try to win his ex wife Cheryl back which became the theme of the season. And when Cheryl mentioned that she was happy when Larry worked on the Seinfeld show because he had “something to do”…. The wheels started turning and the Seinfeld reunion concept was born!
The show hit the jackpot the last 2 weeks with the final 2 episodes of the season and possibly the series. All 4 regulars returned to shoot the “reunion special” along with a few side characters such as Newman .. Incidentally, this reunion storyline has motivated me to start watching the Channel 5 reruns again.
A week ago Sunday “The Table Read” episode proved to be the funniest episode of a TV show since the last Newhart. A side story involving “Michael Richard”s concerns about the fictitious Groats Disease put Larry in a quandary. “Richards” worries were affecting his acting, so Larry decides to have an acquaintance, Groats survivor Danny Duberstein talk to him to calm him down. Only it turns out that unbeknownst to David, Duberstein died of the disease two months earlier. So who does he turn to? Leon. And as part of the plot Leon… a black man about to meet “Michael Richards” after the real Richards racist rant at a comedy club… was forced to impersonate Jewish accountant Danny Duberstein.
And while all of us were licking our chops about Leon confronting “Richards”… Leon while watching on the set points out how totally clueless he is about the Seinfeld characters and when Newman walks in to the angry “Hello Newman”, Leon looks at Larry offstage and says…”Who is that funny fat bastard?”
And the “Richards – Fake Duberstein” confrontation… turns out to be not about black anger towards Richards rant.. but instead was a showcase for JB Smoove to earn the Best Comedy Actor Emmy. The improvised scene between the 2 was absolutely hysterical with Duberstein announcing he had 3 bar mitzvahs because he has to recharge it every 13 years.
The only drawback to the episode was when Marty Funkhouser meets Jerry Seinfeld and proceeds to tell him a funny joke that was really not in character to him… but is exactly what Super Dave Osborne would have done. Both characters are played by the same actor, but it seemed out of place. Kind of like when Ted Knight appeared on The Love Boat… he didn’t ask Captain Stubing how Mary and Lou were doing??
And even though the finale was not quite as funny, it was still pretty pretty good with Larry almost sabotaging his entire show when he and “Jason Alexander” get into a bit of a snit. Jason quits and Larry decides to play George which means he was playing himself – sort of. “Jerry” was also funny and fired off a few classic zingers… almost as if he knew that he had to go the extra mile because JB Smoove was not appearing in this episode.
Ultimately the season wraps up with a satisfying ending and personally, I can’t wait for the DVD to come out.. I think the last 2 shows looped together would make a hysterical episode..
MONDAY SITCOMS ON CBS
CBS tweaked its lineup this season… How I Met Your Mother is now on at 8pm and it continues to try to be the follow up ensemble to the Seinfeld/Friends generation. Two and a Half Men may be a one joke sitcom, but it continues to chug along. But by far the best comedy of the night – The Big Bang Theory. Now that certain types of social awkwardness are referred to as Assbergers… it seems that Sheldon is not just goofy.. but has been diagnosed. His roommate Leonard might be bizarrely dating the beautiful neighbor Penny, but the Sheldon - Penny acting chemistry is quite remarkable,
Last season the seeds were planted – no pun intended – when she got Sheldon a napkin used by Leonard Nimoy. Geek heaven! But the episode a week ago was classic when she fell in the shower and needed Sheldon to pull her out naked and get her to a hospital. There are not a lot of comedy teams out there that are as funny as these two, and I never realized Kaley Cuoco had the potential to be such a great straight man.
Many might question if Sheldon is straight after that episode although he admitted to peeking when she made him put her clothes on with his eyes closed so he could take her to the hospital to treat her injured arm. She also asked him not to put her panties on… and instead went commando in skimpy shorts which didn’t seem to phase Sheldon as it would the average heterosexual man in that situation. Instead, he lectured her on the importance of wearing clean underwear just in case she was in an accident and needed to go to the Emergency Room.... even though she was actually on her way to the Emergency Room!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK- Pumpy is under .500 after last weeks loss and is now 5-6. This week in honor of Thanksgiving we go to New England where the Patriots are on the road against the unbeaten Saints which could be a very exciting Monday Night Game. The Saints are 3 point faves. Sayeth The Pump:
“Lets' take the saints, because I'm a big Louis Armstrong fan and I like his rendition of "When The Saints Go Marching In"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK
Not too thrilled with the Thanksgiving Game and the early blogging schedule. Last week the hot streak continued at 2-1 for a season to date record of 17-16.
DENVER 6 ½ doggies over The Giants – I know the Broncos have played crummy lately but has anyone seen the Giants lately? And Nets announcer (0-15 already this young season) Chris Carrino is calling the game on the radio and I predict he will call his first and only win for 2009! But they won’t cover.
Raiders 13 ½ doggies over DALLAS – Huge spread that the Cowboys will not cover. I was more interested in today's early game but it kicks off just one hour after my 11:30 posting.. so lets take the late game instead. If both Dallas and Denver win, the Giants division hopes will be finished.
Washington 9 doggies over THE EAGLES – The Skins have been somewhat decent these last few weeks.
As I prepared this column a week ago, I was about to write about how aside from the last season of Monk on Fridays, there are only 2 good nights of TV – but last Wednesday as I got ready to watch Law and Order SVU – I saw a promo on ABC for the new show Modern Family that featured an appearance by Elizabeth Banks! Well homina homina homina.. I have been a fan of hers since she was in The 40 Year Old Virgin hot tub scene. I decided to skip L and O and watch Banks instead, so now I guess I will slightly amend my opinion about TV only having 2 good nights.
After stumbling into the Elizabeth Banks episode – I actually liked Modern Family. Since I am new to the show I am not as familiar with the characters like the tv columnists who have press releases to held id the different characters on these ensemble shows. The Banks character was friends with 2 gay guys who recently adopted a baby. The show is about a big extended family and I have no idea who these people are just yet, except the patriarch is Ed O’Neill from Married With Children and he apparently married a much younger woman. (I only saw 2 episodes folks). He is quite sharp and easily prevents his teenage granddaughters attempts to leave a family dinner to hang out with her boyfriend. Another character who I think was Ed’s daughter gets her husband a “thoughtful” birthday present when she gets a personalized performance from a member of her husband’s favorite 80s band… Spandau Ballet. Only it turns out the husband never liked Spandau Ballet and didn't even know any of their songs. While watching the episode, I thought it really was the guy from SB... but I later found out it was actually actor Ed Norton.
The other new show is the much hyped Cougar Town. That show was ok but one of the episodes featured a woman played by Rachael Harris playing exactly the same kind of character she played in The Hangover.. the bitchy wife! The characters have different names.. but they are exactly the same!! It seems like the actress is getting typecast… Its too early to tell if I will stay with this one.. again there are a lot of characters and I’m still trying to figure out who’s who.
This season I seem to have stopped watching longtime favorites Heroes and Desperate Housewives and have replaced them with a comedy heavy lineup. I also like that new Shark Tank show but it seems to be off the air now, replaced by V which I watched religiously when it was on NBC in the 80s.. but I have not caught the new version yet.
SUNDAYS WITH SETH AND LARRY
Hands down the funniest night on Television.. and actually it might be TOO funny.
Sundays with Seth – What the heck is in Seth MacFarlane’s DNA and what made him so brilliant?
2 weeks ago it was hour after hour of Seth. Not only his triple header of Cleveland Show, Family Guy and American Dad but he also had a variety show one night that was quite funny too. Clips of Family Guy were worked into the show and it was quite odd to see the show with a laugh track as the variety show’s audience was laughing with delight. The bit about Marlee Martlin’s voice was pretty tacky but then again is that really such a shock that a Seth MacFarlane production would be tacky?
I really can only handle 2 episodes of Sundays with Seth in one setting because I still need to save some yuks for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Therefore, I haven’t really started to watch Cleveland, but even a glance here and there is getting me hooked. The Thanksgiving episode with Auntie Mama last week was hilarious and made me realize that the transvestite character modeled after Mama on What’s Happening is part of Seth’s motivation to create this show. He grew up watching all the black sitcoms and really had no forum to spoof them on his other cartoon shows. So he did what everyone else does who has 2 cartoons. He created a 3rd. He also had a funny episode a couple of weeks ago when his step daughter was supposed to take a chastity vow.. but his son did so instead which greatly upset Cleveland and pointed out the hypocrisy that sexually active teenage boys and girls have a double standard. Maybe Adam Lambert is on to something.
Family Guy and American Dad continue to roll around with typical hysterics. The concept of Stuie cloning himself and calling his clone Bitch Stuie was priceless… including his little homoerotic bathtub time with his over-eager-to-please clone. After awhile the episodes get all mixed up in my brain and I would probably have to consult tvsquad to remember what last week’s episode was about. Cant they just alternate American Dad with Cleveland Show to prevent Seth overload? Then again, some nights AD is the best of the 3 shows. Last week’s show with Stan falling in love with a band (which I later found out was a real band - after Spandau Ballet, I thought it was all fake!) was quite amusing as he swooned over them like a lovestruck teen.
Oh that’s right, the episode showed Quagmire fessing up to Brian about why he doesn’t like him… it sounded like something from Festivus.
And speaking of which…
Curb Your Enthusiasm… possibly the best show on TV this season, and Larry David has a chance to give the person who created Twilight a run for the money for Entertainment Weekly’s Entertainer of the Year.
The season picked up where last year’s left off… as Larry (the man who inspired George on Seinfeld) hooked up with Loretta Black at the end of last season. The new season starts, and Black has cancer, and Larry wants out.. so he figures out a way to get her out of his house and decides to try to win his ex wife Cheryl back which became the theme of the season. And when Cheryl mentioned that she was happy when Larry worked on the Seinfeld show because he had “something to do”…. The wheels started turning and the Seinfeld reunion concept was born!
The show hit the jackpot the last 2 weeks with the final 2 episodes of the season and possibly the series. All 4 regulars returned to shoot the “reunion special” along with a few side characters such as Newman .. Incidentally, this reunion storyline has motivated me to start watching the Channel 5 reruns again.
A week ago Sunday “The Table Read” episode proved to be the funniest episode of a TV show since the last Newhart. A side story involving “Michael Richard”s concerns about the fictitious Groats Disease put Larry in a quandary. “Richards” worries were affecting his acting, so Larry decides to have an acquaintance, Groats survivor Danny Duberstein talk to him to calm him down. Only it turns out that unbeknownst to David, Duberstein died of the disease two months earlier. So who does he turn to? Leon. And as part of the plot Leon… a black man about to meet “Michael Richards” after the real Richards racist rant at a comedy club… was forced to impersonate Jewish accountant Danny Duberstein.
And while all of us were licking our chops about Leon confronting “Richards”… Leon while watching on the set points out how totally clueless he is about the Seinfeld characters and when Newman walks in to the angry “Hello Newman”, Leon looks at Larry offstage and says…”Who is that funny fat bastard?”
And the “Richards – Fake Duberstein” confrontation… turns out to be not about black anger towards Richards rant.. but instead was a showcase for JB Smoove to earn the Best Comedy Actor Emmy. The improvised scene between the 2 was absolutely hysterical with Duberstein announcing he had 3 bar mitzvahs because he has to recharge it every 13 years.
The only drawback to the episode was when Marty Funkhouser meets Jerry Seinfeld and proceeds to tell him a funny joke that was really not in character to him… but is exactly what Super Dave Osborne would have done. Both characters are played by the same actor, but it seemed out of place. Kind of like when Ted Knight appeared on The Love Boat… he didn’t ask Captain Stubing how Mary and Lou were doing??
And even though the finale was not quite as funny, it was still pretty pretty good with Larry almost sabotaging his entire show when he and “Jason Alexander” get into a bit of a snit. Jason quits and Larry decides to play George which means he was playing himself – sort of. “Jerry” was also funny and fired off a few classic zingers… almost as if he knew that he had to go the extra mile because JB Smoove was not appearing in this episode.
Ultimately the season wraps up with a satisfying ending and personally, I can’t wait for the DVD to come out.. I think the last 2 shows looped together would make a hysterical episode..
MONDAY SITCOMS ON CBS
CBS tweaked its lineup this season… How I Met Your Mother is now on at 8pm and it continues to try to be the follow up ensemble to the Seinfeld/Friends generation. Two and a Half Men may be a one joke sitcom, but it continues to chug along. But by far the best comedy of the night – The Big Bang Theory. Now that certain types of social awkwardness are referred to as Assbergers… it seems that Sheldon is not just goofy.. but has been diagnosed. His roommate Leonard might be bizarrely dating the beautiful neighbor Penny, but the Sheldon - Penny acting chemistry is quite remarkable,
Last season the seeds were planted – no pun intended – when she got Sheldon a napkin used by Leonard Nimoy. Geek heaven! But the episode a week ago was classic when she fell in the shower and needed Sheldon to pull her out naked and get her to a hospital. There are not a lot of comedy teams out there that are as funny as these two, and I never realized Kaley Cuoco had the potential to be such a great straight man.
Many might question if Sheldon is straight after that episode although he admitted to peeking when she made him put her clothes on with his eyes closed so he could take her to the hospital to treat her injured arm. She also asked him not to put her panties on… and instead went commando in skimpy shorts which didn’t seem to phase Sheldon as it would the average heterosexual man in that situation. Instead, he lectured her on the importance of wearing clean underwear just in case she was in an accident and needed to go to the Emergency Room.... even though she was actually on her way to the Emergency Room!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK- Pumpy is under .500 after last weeks loss and is now 5-6. This week in honor of Thanksgiving we go to New England where the Patriots are on the road against the unbeaten Saints which could be a very exciting Monday Night Game. The Saints are 3 point faves. Sayeth The Pump:
“Lets' take the saints, because I'm a big Louis Armstrong fan and I like his rendition of "When The Saints Go Marching In"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK
Not too thrilled with the Thanksgiving Game and the early blogging schedule. Last week the hot streak continued at 2-1 for a season to date record of 17-16.
DENVER 6 ½ doggies over The Giants – I know the Broncos have played crummy lately but has anyone seen the Giants lately? And Nets announcer (0-15 already this young season) Chris Carrino is calling the game on the radio and I predict he will call his first and only win for 2009! But they won’t cover.
Raiders 13 ½ doggies over DALLAS – Huge spread that the Cowboys will not cover. I was more interested in today's early game but it kicks off just one hour after my 11:30 posting.. so lets take the late game instead. If both Dallas and Denver win, the Giants division hopes will be finished.
Washington 9 doggies over THE EAGLES – The Skins have been somewhat decent these last few weeks.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
TV Sort of Quarterly Report - Part I: The NBA
This year we scrapped the long time tradition of a “regular” quarterly TV report, instead opting to chime in on a semi regular non organized basis about stuff related to the boob tube. And now that the World Series is over, it’s time for my fall season to start with a look at some trends for this season. And we start with Part I... What I Won’t Watch This Year… and it is a list of 1 .
WHAT I WON’T WATCH
The New Jersey Nets!! What a disgrace they are.. not only because their record is 0-13, but because Commissioner David Stern allowed this situation to develop.
Several years back, the Nets were actually a pretty decent team… making it to the finals twice. They had 3 solid stars in Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson. But when Bruce Ratner got his grubby paws on the franchise, it slowly returned to its embarrassing status as the joke the franchise used to be in the pre-Jason Kidd era. All this guy wanted to do was make a ton of money by building his little dream complex in Brooklyn,.. building an arena for the Nets and knocking out some homes through eminent domain in the process. But as the project gets closer to the end of the year “Crap or get off the toilet” deadline, it seems that the Nets are getting lost in the shuffle in this disaster.
A small powerful group in Brooklyn is flexing its muscles to keep the Nets from moving there, and while Ratner has been addressing those issues, he has been doing his best impression as Nero… because as he fiddles, the Nets burn. The team is the biggest joke in the NBA and appears incapable of winning a game. They suck so bad that they even blew a huge lead to Minnesota on Opening Night only to lose at the buzzer… and Minnesota has lost every game ever since.
Its obvious Bruce doesn’t give a crap about the Nets, and his real estate deal might end up going through without the new basketball arena. He already has a buyer for the team, but its immediate future will be determined soon when the decision is made if it is Brooklyn bound. This presents an interesting dilemma. The team has gone down the toilet during this intermediate status… but if they end up moving, are they just going to let the team lose every single game till they move in a couple of years? Why would any local fan want to pay to watch a lame duck team at the Meadowlands Arena if they know that the team is moving away in a couple of years??
But if the Brooklyn deal falls through… and the eminent domain opponents are doing their best to keep Ranter’s grubby money hungry paws off these properties… THEN, the team should make a commitment to staying in NJ and do something.. either a quick change of ownership to clear away the stench of Ratner… and announce a firm commitment to rebuild the franchise as quickly as possible… even if it means the team is going to head south to the Prudential Center in Newark.
But either way, this situation cannot continue, and I’m curious as to why Commissioner Stern has not stepped in to help fix this mess.
And as the Nets inch closer towards the most pathetic start in NBA history… 0-17 held by Miami and The Clippers… LA's 2nd class citizen at the Staples Center has its own bizarre controversy going on with their announcing team.
It seems that long time announcers Ralph Lawler and Mike Smith were calling the game the other night when the Memphis backup center Hamed Haddidi was brought into the game. Haddidi is the first ever Iranian player in the NBA and as Lawler and Smith discussed this, an irate caller placed an angry call to Fox Sports about the exchange (and we have the transcript) and among his complaints about this non issue were the announcers mispronounced the country by calling it Eye-ran instead of the way Christina Ammanpour pronounces it.
Sayeth the Lawler and The Smith (from the LA Times)
Smith: “Look who’s in.”
Lawler: “Hamed Haddadi. Where’s he from?”
Smith: “He’s the first Iranian to play in the NBA.” (Smith pronounced Iranian as “Eye-ranian,” a pronunciation that offended the viewer who complained.)
Lawler: “There aren’t any Iranian players in the NBA,” repeating Smith’s mispronunciation.
Smith: “He’s the only one.”
Lawler: “He’s from Iran?”
Smith: “I guess so.”
Lawler: “That Iran?”
Smith: Yes.
Lawler: “The real Iran?”
Smith: “Yes.”
Lawler: “Wow. Haddadi – that’s H-A-D-D-A-D-I.”
Smith: “You’re sure it’s not Borat’s older brother?”
Smith: “If they ever make a movie about Haddadi, I’m going to get Sacha Baron Cohen to play the part.”
Lawler: “Here’s Haddadi. Nice little back-door pass. I guess those Iranians can pass the ball.”
Smith: “Especially the post players.
Lawler: “I don’t know about their guards.”
So lets get this straight… Iran is a country that wants to nuke Israel (and the Palestinians who live there too!), yet 2 announcers get into trouble for mispronouncing it?? How absurd is that? I think the political correctness has gone too far.. and Im surprised the Post’s Phil Mushnick hasn’t written about this…(although maybe he has?) Mushnick always points out how Jay-Z the Nets part owner has songs out there that use the N-word… but that’s ok? But mispronounce Iran? Suspension!!
What the heck is going on David Stern??
Stay tuned for Wednesday: Part II of the TV Quarterly Report… We’re posting early to get the Giants and Cowboys picks in!!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy and UGF ran the table last wk and both are .500. This week Pumpy tries to improve his .500 record and since Oprah announced she is gonna end her show, for this week’s game we go to Chicago where the Bears are 3 point home doggies to the Eagles. Sayeth the Pump:
"I watched Oprah last week when she had the woman from Connecticut who was attacked by the monkey. But when she showed her face I couldn't "bare" to watch... so take the Bears!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We’re all evened up at 15-15 after last week’s 3-0… Now time to build up a winning streak.
Atlanta 6 ½ doggies over GIANTS – The ol’ cop out “The Giants will win but not cover” pick.. but do the Giants deserve a TD advantage after a 4 game losing streak?
Washington 11 doggies over DALLAS – Maybe last week’s results were an omen??
CHICAGO 3 doggies over Philadelphia – The Sunday Night game airing opposite Sunday’s with Seth and the Curb Your Enthusiasm Sunday Finale?? I ain’t watching this one unless Danny Duberstein and Michael Richards are the guest announcers talking about Peaches!
WHAT I WON’T WATCH
The New Jersey Nets!! What a disgrace they are.. not only because their record is 0-13, but because Commissioner David Stern allowed this situation to develop.
Several years back, the Nets were actually a pretty decent team… making it to the finals twice. They had 3 solid stars in Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson. But when Bruce Ratner got his grubby paws on the franchise, it slowly returned to its embarrassing status as the joke the franchise used to be in the pre-Jason Kidd era. All this guy wanted to do was make a ton of money by building his little dream complex in Brooklyn,.. building an arena for the Nets and knocking out some homes through eminent domain in the process. But as the project gets closer to the end of the year “Crap or get off the toilet” deadline, it seems that the Nets are getting lost in the shuffle in this disaster.
A small powerful group in Brooklyn is flexing its muscles to keep the Nets from moving there, and while Ratner has been addressing those issues, he has been doing his best impression as Nero… because as he fiddles, the Nets burn. The team is the biggest joke in the NBA and appears incapable of winning a game. They suck so bad that they even blew a huge lead to Minnesota on Opening Night only to lose at the buzzer… and Minnesota has lost every game ever since.
Its obvious Bruce doesn’t give a crap about the Nets, and his real estate deal might end up going through without the new basketball arena. He already has a buyer for the team, but its immediate future will be determined soon when the decision is made if it is Brooklyn bound. This presents an interesting dilemma. The team has gone down the toilet during this intermediate status… but if they end up moving, are they just going to let the team lose every single game till they move in a couple of years? Why would any local fan want to pay to watch a lame duck team at the Meadowlands Arena if they know that the team is moving away in a couple of years??
But if the Brooklyn deal falls through… and the eminent domain opponents are doing their best to keep Ranter’s grubby money hungry paws off these properties… THEN, the team should make a commitment to staying in NJ and do something.. either a quick change of ownership to clear away the stench of Ratner… and announce a firm commitment to rebuild the franchise as quickly as possible… even if it means the team is going to head south to the Prudential Center in Newark.
But either way, this situation cannot continue, and I’m curious as to why Commissioner Stern has not stepped in to help fix this mess.
And as the Nets inch closer towards the most pathetic start in NBA history… 0-17 held by Miami and The Clippers… LA's 2nd class citizen at the Staples Center has its own bizarre controversy going on with their announcing team.
It seems that long time announcers Ralph Lawler and Mike Smith were calling the game the other night when the Memphis backup center Hamed Haddidi was brought into the game. Haddidi is the first ever Iranian player in the NBA and as Lawler and Smith discussed this, an irate caller placed an angry call to Fox Sports about the exchange (and we have the transcript) and among his complaints about this non issue were the announcers mispronounced the country by calling it Eye-ran instead of the way Christina Ammanpour pronounces it.
Sayeth the Lawler and The Smith (from the LA Times)
Smith: “Look who’s in.”
Lawler: “Hamed Haddadi. Where’s he from?”
Smith: “He’s the first Iranian to play in the NBA.” (Smith pronounced Iranian as “Eye-ranian,” a pronunciation that offended the viewer who complained.)
Lawler: “There aren’t any Iranian players in the NBA,” repeating Smith’s mispronunciation.
Smith: “He’s the only one.”
Lawler: “He’s from Iran?”
Smith: “I guess so.”
Lawler: “That Iran?”
Smith: Yes.
Lawler: “The real Iran?”
Smith: “Yes.”
Lawler: “Wow. Haddadi – that’s H-A-D-D-A-D-I.”
Smith: “You’re sure it’s not Borat’s older brother?”
Smith: “If they ever make a movie about Haddadi, I’m going to get Sacha Baron Cohen to play the part.”
Lawler: “Here’s Haddadi. Nice little back-door pass. I guess those Iranians can pass the ball.”
Smith: “Especially the post players.
Lawler: “I don’t know about their guards.”
So lets get this straight… Iran is a country that wants to nuke Israel (and the Palestinians who live there too!), yet 2 announcers get into trouble for mispronouncing it?? How absurd is that? I think the political correctness has gone too far.. and Im surprised the Post’s Phil Mushnick hasn’t written about this…(although maybe he has?) Mushnick always points out how Jay-Z the Nets part owner has songs out there that use the N-word… but that’s ok? But mispronounce Iran? Suspension!!
What the heck is going on David Stern??
Stay tuned for Wednesday: Part II of the TV Quarterly Report… We’re posting early to get the Giants and Cowboys picks in!!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy and UGF ran the table last wk and both are .500. This week Pumpy tries to improve his .500 record and since Oprah announced she is gonna end her show, for this week’s game we go to Chicago where the Bears are 3 point home doggies to the Eagles. Sayeth the Pump:
"I watched Oprah last week when she had the woman from Connecticut who was attacked by the monkey. But when she showed her face I couldn't "bare" to watch... so take the Bears!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We’re all evened up at 15-15 after last week’s 3-0… Now time to build up a winning streak.
Atlanta 6 ½ doggies over GIANTS – The ol’ cop out “The Giants will win but not cover” pick.. but do the Giants deserve a TD advantage after a 4 game losing streak?
Washington 11 doggies over DALLAS – Maybe last week’s results were an omen??
CHICAGO 3 doggies over Philadelphia – The Sunday Night game airing opposite Sunday’s with Seth and the Curb Your Enthusiasm Sunday Finale?? I ain’t watching this one unless Danny Duberstein and Michael Richards are the guest announcers talking about Peaches!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)