Tuesday Night I was watching Law and Order SVU and for once I actually predicted "the twist".. a wacko activist who stole embryos from a clinic was shot down by a client of that clinic whose wife was sent to Iraq. The cops tracked him to the airport where he had to gone to pick up his wife - in a body bag! Nice twist to make him seem sympathetic... and have you noticed that the military is very quiet about transporting bodies back home after somebody gets killed?
Then as the credits rolled, the screen split and with breathless despair Chuck Scarborough and Sue Simmons came on to tease the upcoming 11 o'clock news with the horrible news of the death of Heath Ledger... and the mugging of reporter Jay DeDapper. On and on the news went about Ledger... (I heard about it when I got a little blurb on my Yahoo messenger account that I got an email from TV Guide annoucing the news in the afternoon... Brokeback Mountain?? Never saw it! Oh yeah... hes the Joker in the next Batman movie!!) So as the news went on and on and on about Ledger... it occured to me... why dont they devote this much coverage every time a heroic soldier is killed while fighting in Iraq??
Heath Ledger notwhithstanding, the biggest news of the week was the Giants winning the NFC Title. And did I get to watch the game?? Nooooo.. I was at DAS's wedding but I did get to hear the 2nd half on the radio...and that was a great call by the radio team. We pulled into the driveway as the game winning field goal was kicked.. prompting me to get out of the car and literally jump up and down in my driveway in celebration. The Giants would be headed to the Super Bowl. I couldnt believe it... 3 straight playoff road wins including victories over supposed powerhouses Dallas and Green Bay and now, just one gigantic obstacle will keep the Giants from football immortalilty! Who woulda thunk that?? Well, let's go back in the time machine to January 11, 2007 and if you check the archives, that column was indeed entitled..."Will 2007 Be The Year of the Giant?"
That was the column I wrote about 3 Giants... The Giant Ego of Donald Trump... Giant Subs and The NFC Chamption NY Giants. I wrote about the Giant ego of Donald Trump who somehow has kept his silly Apprentice reality/infomerical show on the air. ... I also bragged about my discovery of The Kosher Subway in Flatbush.. and now I have gotten word that there is also one in Livingston which is fantastic since I don't have to spend money on a Verezzano toll to eat a kosher sub. Speaking of the Verezano... as I drove home from the DAS and Mrs. DAS wedding in Forest Hills to try to futilely catch the tail end of the game, my cockamimie GPS kept directing me to go through Brooklyn towards that evil Verezano toll!! Why oh why couldnt it just lead me to the promised land of Manhattan via a toll free bridge??
That column also pointed out an odd coincidence involving subs and a notorious crime spree in Union County during the 1960s. I took a rather unpopular stance defending the legal rights of Robert Zarinsky, the prisoner who was acquitted of killing a cop after his sister ratted him out when he caught her looting his hefty retirement account. Zarinsky however lost his civil suit and had to pay all that money to the cop's widow who got some lame-o legal advice and went on and spent the money. Zarinsky appealed the verdict and won... and then the widow was on the hook for the money. Zarinsky however should have quit while he was ahead because if you reread the original column, I was actually one of the few people who gave him the legal benefit of the doubt. Now Zarinsky has lost any iota of support from here,.... he keeps hounding this poor woman for penalties and interest... Also, his wife wisely dumped him and married a better man,....and this abusive son of a bitch seems to only be happy if he is harrasing someone like the poor widow.
Now ol' Zarinsky is about to go on trial for another crime and my tolerance of him has run out. He apparently has a health problem that forced him to be wheeled into a courtroom hooked to an oxygen tank that was helping him breathe. I think I have been watching too much lighting up on Mad Men on AMC because here is my opinion: I dont know what the indoor smoking laws are... but I think if the judge, prosecutors, or jury need a cigarette during the trial... they should get to have one right there in the courtroom. Unfortunately, the oxygen tank poses a risk to all our smokers.. but I think their comfort is more important... so I say anytime somebody needs a smoke... simply take the oxygen tank out of the room and force Mr. Zarinsky to just figure out a way to get some air. So what if he struggles a little bit...
The other Giant in that column was of course The NY Giants, and much maligned QB Eli Manning. Here is an excerpt to remind you guys of the praise I heaped on your NFC Title Winning Quarterback.....
The Giants played a brutal schedule especially during the early part of the season. Yet they got off to a 6-2 start that included big comebacks against The Eagles and The Falcons. However, everyone seems to have forgotten since they fizzled down the stretch to finish 8-8 (including a tough game against the division rival Redskins who wanted nothing more than to knock NY out of the playoffs). Now all these Giants/Eli Manning critics who are soooo eager to point out the poor 2nd half during the soft part of the schedule claim that the latter part of the season is most important.. If that’s the case, why don’t they give Eli credit for his late TD drive in the 4th quarter Sunday during a drive that included a 1st and 30? After tying the game at 20, the Giants defense couldn’t keep the Eagles from eating the clock and kicking a game winning field goal as time expired. Yet for some reason, my fellow Giant fans wants to blame the QB! Now the Ledger says that Bill Parcells was turned down when he made overtures to take over the vacant GM position. I guess they don’t love the Tuna.
By the way The Ledger refers to the Newark Star Ledger not the late actor Heath Ledger. Oh and by the way, if anybody ever finds me unconscious... don't call Mary Kate Olson... call freakin' 911!! I have now deleted all Olson sisters from my speed dial just to avoid the temptation!
Incidentally, once I was done jumping up and down in my driveway.... I bolted to my computer to my email to trash talk a buddy of mine who is a .... Cowboy fan... who has been blasting the Giants for trading for Manning and giving up Phillip Rivers and a few draft picks. This guy is The Phil Mushnick of our social group who will find the oddest topic to debate - by the way Mushnick is way off in today's Post when he opines about this theories about why Knick Announcer Mike Breen left his gig on The Imus Show. My opinion on any trade is to give it some time to gel... but once Rivers and his gang were sent home packing, I was ready for some trash talking and some crow eating. Interestingly enough, my buddy is still holding his ground.. which is odd because I dont see a lot of Giants fans particularly upset about the deal as The Giants prepare for the Super Bowl while The Chargers are playing golf!! In addition to that... if the roles were reversed and The Giants had traded away the first pick of the draft to San Diego, and Manning had led his team to The Super Bowl, you know that the phone lines on the all sports stations would be burning up with angry Giants fans upset that the team traded away a first pick who is now bound for The Super Bowl. I guess the Cowboys fans just haven't caught on that making it to The Super Bowl puts Mr. Manning in some very good company. If he beats The Patriots, he might be our generations Sir Edmund Hilary!
CLIP I OF THE WEEK;
Here it is.... no Giants game for me last Sunday, but Trophy Wife and I took our camera to DAS's wedding... Here is a clip where we refer to last weeks podcast replay from 2006 where I told my liberal pal DAS he should move back to the area from FL and marry his woman!! Well, ol' DAS is finishing up some kind of project so he is temporarily commuting back and forth... Also in the clip is my cousin Elly Sue who did a tremendous good deed and introduced DAS to Mrs. DAS. And since Trophy Wife and I sort of hooked Elly Sue up with her hubby... I am taking some credit for DAS. He also bears an uncanny resemblance to the Rabbi at the synagogue I went to as a kid.
BONUS CLIP OF THE WEEK
Here is a very funny scene from Coming to America, the movie that was notorious for the phrase... "This is beautiful... What is it, velvet?"
Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Octopussy - A Movie Club Column
And let's be heard!
Hey does Bob Grant still say that? Before we get to today's movie review, I just gotta tell you that nothing is more pathetic than Radio and Records magazine announcement this week that they are taking back a Lifetime Achievement Award that was to be presented to Grant this March. I am not a fan of Grant's, nor do I listen to his show, but there is nothing more cowardly than R&R bowing to "political correctness".
And we can see who that rag of a mag is in bed with the announcement this week that they will add that Reverend Al Sharpton to a forum on race in the media. Sharpton has been calling for a golf TV reporter to be fired after she made a wisecrack about lynching Tiger Woods. Woods is friends with her, and wasn't offended, but Sharpton has to cause more trouble. And as I mentioned last month, Sharpton feels that John White, the Suffolk County man who shot and killed a teenager who was yelling racial taunts on the sidewalk in front of his home should not have been convicted... but that the taunting teens should be arrested and prosecuted!
In my best Mary Tyler Moore impression, all I can say is... "Mr. Grant... do you really want to get an award from a rag that embraces Al Sharpton?"
Well its time for another Movie Review and we go from Mary Tyler Moore to Roger Moore as today we present the 3rd of our 6 James Bond Movies - Octopussy
This past Sunday, American Dad did a hysterical spoof of the James Bond movies... kind of daring since there already have been 3 Austin Powers movies... but as I watched the parody, it occured to me that The Bond movies are so tongue in cheek they are almost a parody themselves.
As you know, we are doing 6 Bond movies, each one featuring a different actor. Two of the first three are actors I have always liked... Connery in Goldfinger, and now Moore. I actually even liked the George Lazenby movie. As you know, my pal Steve picked out 4 of the 6 Bond movies for this series...(The Lazenby and Daniel Craig movies are an automatic since it's their only Bond movies)... and loaned me the (gasp!) videotapes, After I actually gave Lazenby a good review.... Steve had some comments you might have missed.. I just want you to face this way while I remind our readers of Steve's comments.... Ill ask you the same questions.... if you give me the same answers.. you'll hear this buzzer.... and Ill ask him to try again.... Oh wait... thats from Family Feud!.... Here is what Steve said about our December 7th Pearl Harbor Day Column....
Interesting review... I thought Lazenby was a terrible choice to portray Bond. This guy had no acting chops, no discernible personality, and brought the Bond character down at least a couple of notches. And while Bond producer Albert R. Broccoli, remarked that Lazenby could have been the best Bond had he not quit after just one film, I for one am glad he did...
In fact, after he quit Bond, because the role was "too tough" for him... sniff sniff... he went on to become an extra or minor character in literally every other project he worked on, with the exception of some soft porn in Emanuelle. Acting chops indeed... HA!
Good riddance to bad acting... Now Roger Moore... There is the real James Bond!
Interestingly enough during the last few days, Steve asked me if I thought Moore was better than Connery.... hmmm... we'll have to address that at some point. Let's start with the trailer....
Octopussy is actually the name of this movie's Bond Girl... who is tied in with a bunch of crazy villians Kamal Kahn and General Orlov who are hell bent on stealing valuable jewels and World Domination. The Orlov character is especially over the top with a Shatner/Caruso-esque performance that even includes rolling R's. The introductory unrelated storyline starts with a plane concealed within a horse trailer... and ends with Bond getting gas at an Enco! station. Years and years ago Exxon used to be Esso but in the South they called it Enco. I still remember that from a trip to Texas I took way back in 1972!
Fast forward to the real story where a circus clown is killed by knife throwing twins who are more precise than Ed Ames... The clown is actually Agent 009 which leads to 007 to take on the case. The clown's last heroic act was delivering a Fabrege Egg to the British Embassy, leading to the mystery of why the clown was killed and what is the deal with the Egg? Bond wisely figures out that The Dead Clown with The Fabrege Egg is somehow connected to an upcoming auction for the real Egg which is where he meets Kamal. He follows him to India where upon arriving meets tennis player Vijay Amritaj....one of a few crummy acting performances in this movie... even though the other actors were intentionally throwing a little Shatner into their performances.Vijay's code signal to Bond is playing snake charmer music which is actually the Bond theme!
Interestingly enough this movie was filmed in the early 1980s when a lot of us thought of India as an exotic foreign country.... but as Esso/Enco shifted to the back burner of our memory banks... Indians living in my part of NJ shifted curry to the front burners of their stoves taking away a lot of the mystery of this oh so exotic land. Actually, at one point Bond wins some money in a backgammon game where he double crosses the cheating Kahn and tosses the money to Indians with the wisecrack.... "That should keep you in curry for a few weeks." By the way, one of the points in the American Dad spoof was that Bond always wins at a casino game at every movie!
As it turns out Kamal had hooked up with this crazy nut job General Orlov.... and while it seemed like this was all about jewel thieves... Orlov uses a traveling circus's train ... (this is where Octopussy gets in the storyline; she owns the circus... I guess The Ringling Brothers weren't available).... to smuggle a nuclear bomb to a circus performance at an American Military base in Germany which he figures will lead to more disarmament and ultimate world domination, because people will think it went off by accident, and not realize where the bomb really came from.
Octopussy.. played by Maud Adams... becomes Bond's 2nd chickie in the movie... the first one is Kamal's sidekick Magda played by Kristina Wayborn who was Miss Sweden in 1970. Magda does the ol' hocus mcpocus with Bond and then steals back the Farbrege Egg.... of course not realizing that it is all a set up since a future-esque Lojack-esque device had already been inserted inside it and was connected to Bond's Dick Tracy-esque watch. It seems that even though Adams is supposed to be The Main Bond Squeeze...(she lives on an island inhabited by beautiful acrobatic women), Magda is a far sexier performer. However as it turns out Octopussy is a much more complex person who has a family past with Bond... She gets her name from an octopus fixation... and her circus is named for her... much like how Goldfinger had Pussy Galore and her Flying Circus. What is it with Bond movies using that name and performers who can do cunning stunts? Incidentally, Octopussy's all female circus performers will save the day later in the movie in a fight scene right out of the Batman TV Show!
Moore does an excellent job as Bond... His Bond is not as goofy as The Connery Bond in the one movie I had seen.... Moore is not only a pilot but is able to drive a car with 4 flat tires along railroad tracks. I never knew that was possible! He also has a way with jungle animals handling a tiger better than Siegfried and Roy..... well definitely better than Roy. His end of the movie bomb defusing heroics were a bit hard to believe since the time on the clock was expiring quicker than a Tony Romo 4th quarter playoff comeback attempt... but unlike Romo, Bond is able to save the day! That's not a spoiler... how the heck else do you think these goofy movies end??
Overall I liked the movie... some of the characters, especially Orlov were way over the top... but then again, that was pretty much expected... The story is told very well, and the gadgets are quite cool... although a 1983 futuristic gadget isn't as impressive as the ones from the movie that were filmed in the sixties. The scenery is terrific and it really makes India look quite exotic without that fine scent of curry that wafts through the streets of Edison and Iselin. The music was up to par as usual, with a catchy theme song "All Time High" by Rita Coolidge... and as usual the Bond girls - homina, homina homina. Is Moore better than Connery? The Moore Bond is more clever.... and overall I am a bigger fan of Connery, although I always liked Moore when he was "The Saint"... but in reality both did a pretty good job with the cards they were dealt. Incidentally, Moore was the oldest Bond at the time.... he did this movie when he was 55... but looks much much younger! On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.... Octopussy gets 3 bladders.
Next Movie" "The Living Daylights" with Timothy Dalton
CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK: Hey did you know that our wacky liberal pal DAS from DAS blog is getting married this Sunday? Yup... and now I see that I am going to miss the first half of the Giants-Packers game!! I think the Giants will win... and I have a feeling there could be a collosal upset by San Diego. After all - our nation is in the midst of a credit disaster... who better to be in The Super Bowl than The Chargers?? Anyway, back in '06 we did a podcast chat with DAS and here is Part II of that chat which features love advice from Nate... and it looks like our ol' chum DAS listened to my brilliant advice!! Here it is from July 20, 2006!!
Your Influence Counts.... Use it! Get Khadafy!!
Hey does Bob Grant still say that? Before we get to today's movie review, I just gotta tell you that nothing is more pathetic than Radio and Records magazine announcement this week that they are taking back a Lifetime Achievement Award that was to be presented to Grant this March. I am not a fan of Grant's, nor do I listen to his show, but there is nothing more cowardly than R&R bowing to "political correctness".
And we can see who that rag of a mag is in bed with the announcement this week that they will add that Reverend Al Sharpton to a forum on race in the media. Sharpton has been calling for a golf TV reporter to be fired after she made a wisecrack about lynching Tiger Woods. Woods is friends with her, and wasn't offended, but Sharpton has to cause more trouble. And as I mentioned last month, Sharpton feels that John White, the Suffolk County man who shot and killed a teenager who was yelling racial taunts on the sidewalk in front of his home should not have been convicted... but that the taunting teens should be arrested and prosecuted!
In my best Mary Tyler Moore impression, all I can say is... "Mr. Grant... do you really want to get an award from a rag that embraces Al Sharpton?"
Well its time for another Movie Review and we go from Mary Tyler Moore to Roger Moore as today we present the 3rd of our 6 James Bond Movies - Octopussy
This past Sunday, American Dad did a hysterical spoof of the James Bond movies... kind of daring since there already have been 3 Austin Powers movies... but as I watched the parody, it occured to me that The Bond movies are so tongue in cheek they are almost a parody themselves.
As you know, we are doing 6 Bond movies, each one featuring a different actor. Two of the first three are actors I have always liked... Connery in Goldfinger, and now Moore. I actually even liked the George Lazenby movie. As you know, my pal Steve picked out 4 of the 6 Bond movies for this series...(The Lazenby and Daniel Craig movies are an automatic since it's their only Bond movies)... and loaned me the (gasp!) videotapes, After I actually gave Lazenby a good review.... Steve had some comments you might have missed.. I just want you to face this way while I remind our readers of Steve's comments.... Ill ask you the same questions.... if you give me the same answers.. you'll hear this buzzer.... and Ill ask him to try again.... Oh wait... thats from Family Feud!.... Here is what Steve said about our December 7th Pearl Harbor Day Column....
Interesting review... I thought Lazenby was a terrible choice to portray Bond. This guy had no acting chops, no discernible personality, and brought the Bond character down at least a couple of notches. And while Bond producer Albert R. Broccoli, remarked that Lazenby could have been the best Bond had he not quit after just one film, I for one am glad he did...
In fact, after he quit Bond, because the role was "too tough" for him... sniff sniff... he went on to become an extra or minor character in literally every other project he worked on, with the exception of some soft porn in Emanuelle. Acting chops indeed... HA!
Good riddance to bad acting... Now Roger Moore... There is the real James Bond!
Interestingly enough during the last few days, Steve asked me if I thought Moore was better than Connery.... hmmm... we'll have to address that at some point. Let's start with the trailer....
Octopussy is actually the name of this movie's Bond Girl... who is tied in with a bunch of crazy villians Kamal Kahn and General Orlov who are hell bent on stealing valuable jewels and World Domination. The Orlov character is especially over the top with a Shatner/Caruso-esque performance that even includes rolling R's. The introductory unrelated storyline starts with a plane concealed within a horse trailer... and ends with Bond getting gas at an Enco! station. Years and years ago Exxon used to be Esso but in the South they called it Enco. I still remember that from a trip to Texas I took way back in 1972!
Fast forward to the real story where a circus clown is killed by knife throwing twins who are more precise than Ed Ames... The clown is actually Agent 009 which leads to 007 to take on the case. The clown's last heroic act was delivering a Fabrege Egg to the British Embassy, leading to the mystery of why the clown was killed and what is the deal with the Egg? Bond wisely figures out that The Dead Clown with The Fabrege Egg is somehow connected to an upcoming auction for the real Egg which is where he meets Kamal. He follows him to India where upon arriving meets tennis player Vijay Amritaj....one of a few crummy acting performances in this movie... even though the other actors were intentionally throwing a little Shatner into their performances.Vijay's code signal to Bond is playing snake charmer music which is actually the Bond theme!
Interestingly enough this movie was filmed in the early 1980s when a lot of us thought of India as an exotic foreign country.... but as Esso/Enco shifted to the back burner of our memory banks... Indians living in my part of NJ shifted curry to the front burners of their stoves taking away a lot of the mystery of this oh so exotic land. Actually, at one point Bond wins some money in a backgammon game where he double crosses the cheating Kahn and tosses the money to Indians with the wisecrack.... "That should keep you in curry for a few weeks." By the way, one of the points in the American Dad spoof was that Bond always wins at a casino game at every movie!
As it turns out Kamal had hooked up with this crazy nut job General Orlov.... and while it seemed like this was all about jewel thieves... Orlov uses a traveling circus's train ... (this is where Octopussy gets in the storyline; she owns the circus... I guess The Ringling Brothers weren't available).... to smuggle a nuclear bomb to a circus performance at an American Military base in Germany which he figures will lead to more disarmament and ultimate world domination, because people will think it went off by accident, and not realize where the bomb really came from.
Octopussy.. played by Maud Adams... becomes Bond's 2nd chickie in the movie... the first one is Kamal's sidekick Magda played by Kristina Wayborn who was Miss Sweden in 1970. Magda does the ol' hocus mcpocus with Bond and then steals back the Farbrege Egg.... of course not realizing that it is all a set up since a future-esque Lojack-esque device had already been inserted inside it and was connected to Bond's Dick Tracy-esque watch. It seems that even though Adams is supposed to be The Main Bond Squeeze...(she lives on an island inhabited by beautiful acrobatic women), Magda is a far sexier performer. However as it turns out Octopussy is a much more complex person who has a family past with Bond... She gets her name from an octopus fixation... and her circus is named for her... much like how Goldfinger had Pussy Galore and her Flying Circus. What is it with Bond movies using that name and performers who can do cunning stunts? Incidentally, Octopussy's all female circus performers will save the day later in the movie in a fight scene right out of the Batman TV Show!
Moore does an excellent job as Bond... His Bond is not as goofy as The Connery Bond in the one movie I had seen.... Moore is not only a pilot but is able to drive a car with 4 flat tires along railroad tracks. I never knew that was possible! He also has a way with jungle animals handling a tiger better than Siegfried and Roy..... well definitely better than Roy. His end of the movie bomb defusing heroics were a bit hard to believe since the time on the clock was expiring quicker than a Tony Romo 4th quarter playoff comeback attempt... but unlike Romo, Bond is able to save the day! That's not a spoiler... how the heck else do you think these goofy movies end??
Overall I liked the movie... some of the characters, especially Orlov were way over the top... but then again, that was pretty much expected... The story is told very well, and the gadgets are quite cool... although a 1983 futuristic gadget isn't as impressive as the ones from the movie that were filmed in the sixties. The scenery is terrific and it really makes India look quite exotic without that fine scent of curry that wafts through the streets of Edison and Iselin. The music was up to par as usual, with a catchy theme song "All Time High" by Rita Coolidge... and as usual the Bond girls - homina, homina homina. Is Moore better than Connery? The Moore Bond is more clever.... and overall I am a bigger fan of Connery, although I always liked Moore when he was "The Saint"... but in reality both did a pretty good job with the cards they were dealt. Incidentally, Moore was the oldest Bond at the time.... he did this movie when he was 55... but looks much much younger! On a scale of 1 to 4 bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.... Octopussy gets 3 bladders.
Next Movie" "The Living Daylights" with Timothy Dalton
CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK: Hey did you know that our wacky liberal pal DAS from DAS blog is getting married this Sunday? Yup... and now I see that I am going to miss the first half of the Giants-Packers game!! I think the Giants will win... and I have a feeling there could be a collosal upset by San Diego. After all - our nation is in the midst of a credit disaster... who better to be in The Super Bowl than The Chargers?? Anyway, back in '06 we did a podcast chat with DAS and here is Part II of that chat which features love advice from Nate... and it looks like our ol' chum DAS listened to my brilliant advice!! Here it is from July 20, 2006!!
Your Influence Counts.... Use it! Get Khadafy!!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Pumpstradamus Predictions for 2008 - A Multimedia Extravaganza!
Happy New Year everybody!!
Well here we go with Year Number 4 of this blog which started in late 2005... and as usual we begin with the traditional Pumpstradamus Predictions! This year we are presenting a VIDEO podcast.... yep its better than the old fashioned audio interviews we had done in years past. Also on the V-Cast is a spoof of The House Video that I posted here in a prior column. Just in case you didn't see it or don't remember it, I will repost it this week so you can fully enjoy the parody.
Pumpy has been on the blog on a weekly basis since September with his NFL picks which despite a strong start stumbled badly down the stretch going 0-5 to finish at 10-7.... (The Unbiased Giants fan also finished 3 over .500 at 26-23-2.) One of Pumpys planned predictions was the death of Bhutto which actually happened at the tail end of 2007. Parade Magazine had actually interviewed her, but the magazine is published far in advance so there was nothing they could do short of yanking it out of the Sunday paper when she was assassinated after the magazine went to press. Then again if you saw the column back in August about our summer trip there was the August glossy magazine hyping an upcoming stand up appearance by Richard Jeni who had actually died in March!
And you can't take Pakistan too lightly... .Dont forget they have nukes and it borders Afghanistan where that slimeball Osama bin Laden has been hiding out for the last several years. The odd thing about the Afghan trained terrorists is the USA helped them during the war against Russia in the early 80s... Maybe the Russians weren't such bad guys after all... and maybe that infamous Reagan -"Gorbachev tear down that wall" wasn't as heroic as those crazy Reagan fans claim it was.
The cool thing about this article was it doesnt gloss over the facts regarding Ms. Bhutto as many seem to have done since her death last month. The writer Gail Sheehy points out to her that prior to being exiled, Bhutto snagged 1.5 Billion dollars for herself that had actually been set aside for the UN Oil for Food Program. Nobody was really paying much attention to her anyway, until she hired a bigshot PR guy who reinvented her as a Musharaf basher. Bhutto made a deal with Musharaf to drop charges against her and in exchange she wouldnt come back to Pakistan until after the January elections, at which point she reneged and promptly returned and announced her plans to run for office.
It seems that between Musharaf and Bhutto, she might have been popular because she was the lesser of two unlikeable evils... sort of like taking sides in the battles between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell!!
And now without further ado.... here is the Pumpstradamus Video which includes a parody of the Original House Video which I will post underneath...
Incidentally, as you can see that is the same Champps shirt that I wore in the original from 1997.. but after 11 years of washing it, it has shrunk just a bit. Also the same as the original... The Dining Room Set... The Lamp... and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue! Here is the original House Video...
Next Week: The Octopussy Review!
Well here we go with Year Number 4 of this blog which started in late 2005... and as usual we begin with the traditional Pumpstradamus Predictions! This year we are presenting a VIDEO podcast.... yep its better than the old fashioned audio interviews we had done in years past. Also on the V-Cast is a spoof of The House Video that I posted here in a prior column. Just in case you didn't see it or don't remember it, I will repost it this week so you can fully enjoy the parody.
Pumpy has been on the blog on a weekly basis since September with his NFL picks which despite a strong start stumbled badly down the stretch going 0-5 to finish at 10-7.... (The Unbiased Giants fan also finished 3 over .500 at 26-23-2.) One of Pumpys planned predictions was the death of Bhutto which actually happened at the tail end of 2007. Parade Magazine had actually interviewed her, but the magazine is published far in advance so there was nothing they could do short of yanking it out of the Sunday paper when she was assassinated after the magazine went to press. Then again if you saw the column back in August about our summer trip there was the August glossy magazine hyping an upcoming stand up appearance by Richard Jeni who had actually died in March!
And you can't take Pakistan too lightly... .Dont forget they have nukes and it borders Afghanistan where that slimeball Osama bin Laden has been hiding out for the last several years. The odd thing about the Afghan trained terrorists is the USA helped them during the war against Russia in the early 80s... Maybe the Russians weren't such bad guys after all... and maybe that infamous Reagan -"Gorbachev tear down that wall" wasn't as heroic as those crazy Reagan fans claim it was.
The cool thing about this article was it doesnt gloss over the facts regarding Ms. Bhutto as many seem to have done since her death last month. The writer Gail Sheehy points out to her that prior to being exiled, Bhutto snagged 1.5 Billion dollars for herself that had actually been set aside for the UN Oil for Food Program. Nobody was really paying much attention to her anyway, until she hired a bigshot PR guy who reinvented her as a Musharaf basher. Bhutto made a deal with Musharaf to drop charges against her and in exchange she wouldnt come back to Pakistan until after the January elections, at which point she reneged and promptly returned and announced her plans to run for office.
It seems that between Musharaf and Bhutto, she might have been popular because she was the lesser of two unlikeable evils... sort of like taking sides in the battles between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell!!
And now without further ado.... here is the Pumpstradamus Video which includes a parody of the Original House Video which I will post underneath...
Incidentally, as you can see that is the same Champps shirt that I wore in the original from 1997.. but after 11 years of washing it, it has shrunk just a bit. Also the same as the original... The Dining Room Set... The Lamp... and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue! Here is the original House Video...
Next Week: The Octopussy Review!
Friday, December 28, 2007
And the Moron of the Week Award for the Final Week of 2007 Goes To...
I was watching TV on Christmas Day and while flipping channels during commercials for A Christmas Story on TBS.... I went over to Channel 9 with its traditional little kiddie spot. It went something like this... "Hi my name is Jimmy and my daddy works at Channel 9.. and he is really pissed off that the NFL took Saturday's exclusive My9 broadcast of the Giants-Patriots game and allowed it to be simulcast on CBS and NBC!"
By the way that was quite clever of Bob's Discount Furniture to use the term "double dog dare" in his commercial that aired after the double dog dare tongue on the flagpole scene of the movie!
The original idea was to run Pumpstradamus's psychic predictions and take a week off from the column since I am on vacation this week. But a few things have been going on this week so I decided to cobble together some stuff and edit the Pumpy multimedia podcast for New Years Week!
Here are some items in the news this final week of 2007.
THE MOST INCREDIBLE POKER HAND IN FIVE CARD STUD
Yep, it happened to me on Christmas Night at The Taj. I hit a Royal Flush in a game of 5 card stud which according to the mathematicians has odds of 1 in 650,000. Thank you very much Donald Trump for that extra 500+ dollars! I won it on a 75 cent bet on the double down stud video game; however it was after 1 in the morning and neither Trophy Wife nor myself noticed through our sleepy eyes that after 4 cards were dealt that I was one short of hitting the best hand of any five card deal - and since I rarely double down for a flush I just hit the deal button, wrongly thinking it was just a regular ol' flush and not a royal flush. Yeah I know I should have doubled down for a Royal Flush but I didnt even realize what I had... and Trophy Wife seems to think that the machines are rigged that you only win the flushes and the straights when you do NOT double down. Interesting theory. By the way, as soon as we hit the jackpot, we cashed out and bolted out of there before the temptation would strike to try to give Mr. Trump back some of his shekels!!
MORE AL SHARPTON HYPOCRISY
I also have been following this John White trial in Suffolk County. This is the guy who shot and killed young Daniel Cicciaro. IF you havent followed the story Cicciaro was white and White is black. There was apparently a skirmish developing between Cicciaro and White's son and Cicciaro came to Whites house to confront him. However, White came out of the house with a gun... walked to the end of his driveway and during a confrotation he shot this poor kid to death claiming the gun accidentally went off.
White was convicted over the weekend and in a reaction that was begging for Al Sharpton's big mouth, White's supporters claim the jury was racist because White is black. Isn't that the stupidest thing you have ever heard? If Cicciaro had stormed into the house and been shot, it would be extremely reasonable that White not be charged if he shot the kid in self defense. But the fact that the White supporters falsely claim that this is how it went down is incredibly misleading. The fact is that Cicciaro and his friends were on the sidewalk at "the end of the driveway" and that White took the gun, and walked all the way out to the sidewalk to confront and ultimately shoot Cicciaro.
Now that idiot Al Sharpton is getting involved. He plans to lead a protest and cause more trouble in the town where the crime took place protesting the jury's conviction of White. I don't have an issue with people rallying for a cause - but when it comes to Sharpton I don't have the patience for his cowardly hypocrisy. Sharpton lies (or doesn't get it) that the crime took place when the gang of white kids stormed into the White house.... White says Cicciaro was shot because his gun "accidentally" went off... and that is ok enough for Al Sharpton to protest the jury's decision... yet when a hero Roselle, NJ cop shot a kid who refused to surrender to police when caught outside a Roselle drug den, the fact that the hero cop's gun "accidentally" went off apparently is impossible to comprehend for Sharpton and his gang of double standard hypocrites.
Amazingly the World of Sharpton feels that White was ok for shooting that kid but Imus should have lost his job for his Rutgers comments in April. This year ended beautifully with the firing of Ron Kuby from WABC as Imus took away his show. . The now silenced Kuby is the same moron who defended a crazed black man that murdered innocent people on a Long Island Railroad Train using the incredibly ridiculous notion of "white rage" that had pent up in his client causing him to kill a train car filled with innocent people! Imus by the way was off this week making you wonder why he worked 3 wks just to take a vacation. However I believe it was his fundraising for cancer kids which Sharpton sabotaged... people who make donations to the Imus ranch in '07 get the tax write off - which I presume is the reason the I-man came back in December instead of waiting for the New Year. WABC goes into 2008 as possibly the best lineup of Radio Legends. Imus is on in the morning, Paul Harvey does his commentary, Bob Grant is on late at night... Rush is on at noon and John Gambling's son is on after Imus.
CHRISTMAS EVE EDITORIAL
This is not the type of column I would do before Christmas... but now that it's over I must really take offense to an editorial in Monday's Star Ledger that was originally published in The Baltimore Sun. The editorial which ran on Christmas Eve is titled "Jews in Mixed Marriages Should Get Past Guilt and Make Merry".
First of all the article is written by a dude named Arthur Blecher. whose pronunciation of his name coincides with the noise one makes when bringing up phlegm or mucus. He is the Rabbi of a synagogue in Washington DC that is a "Humanistic" congregation which means these are people whose identity with Judaism is basically secular and/or cultural and the actual belief in God is pretty much optional. He conducts Shabbat services once a month in a local church - according to the Temple's website the actual service lasts approximately 10 minutes. Yom Kippur services must be a blast - especially the prayer about how God seals one fate - I guess these wackadoodles throw in a caveat - IF there is a God!
Now that we have established the writers "credentials", the editorial basically states that intermarried Jews shouldn't feel guilty about celebrating Christmas. We had some friends over on Monday night and there on the news was Mayor Bloomberg outside St. Patrick's Cathedral all excited for the mass. He said he attends even though he is Jewish as did former Jewish mayor Ed Koch. I wonder if Bloomie spends as much time at the synagogue on Yom Kippur as he does at St Patricks on Christmas Eve.
Blecher actually writes in his waste of space editorial that the Jewish intermarrieds guilt of celebrating Xmas is due to what he calls the false notion that intermarriage is causing the number of Jews to dwindle. In reality if it wasn't for the huge families and low intermarriage rates of the Ultra Orthodox and the Hasidim, the Jewish numbers would be incredibly low thanks to the intermarrieds. And these chusids whose wives never have headaches are running into serious socio economic problems with their incredibly huge families. Blecher also seems to say it's ok for intermarrieds to spend some guilt free time buying and decorating a tree. But how much time should be spent on that versus the amount of time spent for Passover Seders. Amazingly, Blecher claims its ok for his congregants to go on celebrate the birth of Jesus, yet at the same time questiion the existence of God. And then he says the audacity to say that we are not losing our Jewish population!
This week's Moron of the Week Award should have been me for not doubling down on a potential Royal Flush - yet even though Al Sharpton deserves kudos... you really have to give the Moron of the Week Award to Arthur Blecher and his incredibly stupid editorial that wasted valuable Star Ledger newspaper space that should have gone to "Yes Viriginia, There is a Santa Claus!"
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: The late season swoon continues for Pumpy as he lost yet again last week dropping to 10-6... keep in mind at one point he was 10-2! Last year he finished 10-6-1 so he needs a win to beat last year's record. This week one of the only meaningful games is Washington hosting Dallas where the Skins are 9 point faves in a game that means nothing to the Cowboys. Sayeth the Pump: "I predict the Skins will start a huge home slump this weekend that will carry over into 2008 since a Redskins home win prior to the election means the incumbent party wins. The slide starts now and continues past Election Day! Take The Cowboys!!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK - Hey we ran the table last week to clinch a winning record of 25-21-2. I am incredibly as many games over .500 as Pumpstradamus!! Last month he was +8 while I was -1. This week since The Giants game is meaningless to them,. lets pick the 3 most meaningless games of the week.
Chiefs 6 1/2 doggies over THE JETS - Which team sucks more?
MIAMI 3 doggies over The Bengals - See above
Rams 6 doggies over ARIZONA - Let's make it a 3 Dog Night!
CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK
Tom'w December 29th marks 6 years since I met Trophy Wife!! It also is 2 years since I was hit by a bird during our trip to Florida. Here is that classic clip:
HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!
By the way that was quite clever of Bob's Discount Furniture to use the term "double dog dare" in his commercial that aired after the double dog dare tongue on the flagpole scene of the movie!
The original idea was to run Pumpstradamus's psychic predictions and take a week off from the column since I am on vacation this week. But a few things have been going on this week so I decided to cobble together some stuff and edit the Pumpy multimedia podcast for New Years Week!
Here are some items in the news this final week of 2007.
THE MOST INCREDIBLE POKER HAND IN FIVE CARD STUD
Yep, it happened to me on Christmas Night at The Taj. I hit a Royal Flush in a game of 5 card stud which according to the mathematicians has odds of 1 in 650,000. Thank you very much Donald Trump for that extra 500+ dollars! I won it on a 75 cent bet on the double down stud video game; however it was after 1 in the morning and neither Trophy Wife nor myself noticed through our sleepy eyes that after 4 cards were dealt that I was one short of hitting the best hand of any five card deal - and since I rarely double down for a flush I just hit the deal button, wrongly thinking it was just a regular ol' flush and not a royal flush. Yeah I know I should have doubled down for a Royal Flush but I didnt even realize what I had... and Trophy Wife seems to think that the machines are rigged that you only win the flushes and the straights when you do NOT double down. Interesting theory. By the way, as soon as we hit the jackpot, we cashed out and bolted out of there before the temptation would strike to try to give Mr. Trump back some of his shekels!!
MORE AL SHARPTON HYPOCRISY
I also have been following this John White trial in Suffolk County. This is the guy who shot and killed young Daniel Cicciaro. IF you havent followed the story Cicciaro was white and White is black. There was apparently a skirmish developing between Cicciaro and White's son and Cicciaro came to Whites house to confront him. However, White came out of the house with a gun... walked to the end of his driveway and during a confrotation he shot this poor kid to death claiming the gun accidentally went off.
White was convicted over the weekend and in a reaction that was begging for Al Sharpton's big mouth, White's supporters claim the jury was racist because White is black. Isn't that the stupidest thing you have ever heard? If Cicciaro had stormed into the house and been shot, it would be extremely reasonable that White not be charged if he shot the kid in self defense. But the fact that the White supporters falsely claim that this is how it went down is incredibly misleading. The fact is that Cicciaro and his friends were on the sidewalk at "the end of the driveway" and that White took the gun, and walked all the way out to the sidewalk to confront and ultimately shoot Cicciaro.
Now that idiot Al Sharpton is getting involved. He plans to lead a protest and cause more trouble in the town where the crime took place protesting the jury's conviction of White. I don't have an issue with people rallying for a cause - but when it comes to Sharpton I don't have the patience for his cowardly hypocrisy. Sharpton lies (or doesn't get it) that the crime took place when the gang of white kids stormed into the White house.... White says Cicciaro was shot because his gun "accidentally" went off... and that is ok enough for Al Sharpton to protest the jury's decision... yet when a hero Roselle, NJ cop shot a kid who refused to surrender to police when caught outside a Roselle drug den, the fact that the hero cop's gun "accidentally" went off apparently is impossible to comprehend for Sharpton and his gang of double standard hypocrites.
Amazingly the World of Sharpton feels that White was ok for shooting that kid but Imus should have lost his job for his Rutgers comments in April. This year ended beautifully with the firing of Ron Kuby from WABC as Imus took away his show. . The now silenced Kuby is the same moron who defended a crazed black man that murdered innocent people on a Long Island Railroad Train using the incredibly ridiculous notion of "white rage" that had pent up in his client causing him to kill a train car filled with innocent people! Imus by the way was off this week making you wonder why he worked 3 wks just to take a vacation. However I believe it was his fundraising for cancer kids which Sharpton sabotaged... people who make donations to the Imus ranch in '07 get the tax write off - which I presume is the reason the I-man came back in December instead of waiting for the New Year. WABC goes into 2008 as possibly the best lineup of Radio Legends. Imus is on in the morning, Paul Harvey does his commentary, Bob Grant is on late at night... Rush is on at noon and John Gambling's son is on after Imus.
CHRISTMAS EVE EDITORIAL
This is not the type of column I would do before Christmas... but now that it's over I must really take offense to an editorial in Monday's Star Ledger that was originally published in The Baltimore Sun. The editorial which ran on Christmas Eve is titled "Jews in Mixed Marriages Should Get Past Guilt and Make Merry".
First of all the article is written by a dude named Arthur Blecher. whose pronunciation of his name coincides with the noise one makes when bringing up phlegm or mucus. He is the Rabbi of a synagogue in Washington DC that is a "Humanistic" congregation which means these are people whose identity with Judaism is basically secular and/or cultural and the actual belief in God is pretty much optional. He conducts Shabbat services once a month in a local church - according to the Temple's website the actual service lasts approximately 10 minutes. Yom Kippur services must be a blast - especially the prayer about how God seals one fate - I guess these wackadoodles throw in a caveat - IF there is a God!
Now that we have established the writers "credentials", the editorial basically states that intermarried Jews shouldn't feel guilty about celebrating Christmas. We had some friends over on Monday night and there on the news was Mayor Bloomberg outside St. Patrick's Cathedral all excited for the mass. He said he attends even though he is Jewish as did former Jewish mayor Ed Koch. I wonder if Bloomie spends as much time at the synagogue on Yom Kippur as he does at St Patricks on Christmas Eve.
Blecher actually writes in his waste of space editorial that the Jewish intermarrieds guilt of celebrating Xmas is due to what he calls the false notion that intermarriage is causing the number of Jews to dwindle. In reality if it wasn't for the huge families and low intermarriage rates of the Ultra Orthodox and the Hasidim, the Jewish numbers would be incredibly low thanks to the intermarrieds. And these chusids whose wives never have headaches are running into serious socio economic problems with their incredibly huge families. Blecher also seems to say it's ok for intermarrieds to spend some guilt free time buying and decorating a tree. But how much time should be spent on that versus the amount of time spent for Passover Seders. Amazingly, Blecher claims its ok for his congregants to go on celebrate the birth of Jesus, yet at the same time questiion the existence of God. And then he says the audacity to say that we are not losing our Jewish population!
This week's Moron of the Week Award should have been me for not doubling down on a potential Royal Flush - yet even though Al Sharpton deserves kudos... you really have to give the Moron of the Week Award to Arthur Blecher and his incredibly stupid editorial that wasted valuable Star Ledger newspaper space that should have gone to "Yes Viriginia, There is a Santa Claus!"
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: The late season swoon continues for Pumpy as he lost yet again last week dropping to 10-6... keep in mind at one point he was 10-2! Last year he finished 10-6-1 so he needs a win to beat last year's record. This week one of the only meaningful games is Washington hosting Dallas where the Skins are 9 point faves in a game that means nothing to the Cowboys. Sayeth the Pump: "I predict the Skins will start a huge home slump this weekend that will carry over into 2008 since a Redskins home win prior to the election means the incumbent party wins. The slide starts now and continues past Election Day! Take The Cowboys!!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK - Hey we ran the table last week to clinch a winning record of 25-21-2. I am incredibly as many games over .500 as Pumpstradamus!! Last month he was +8 while I was -1. This week since The Giants game is meaningless to them,. lets pick the 3 most meaningless games of the week.
Chiefs 6 1/2 doggies over THE JETS - Which team sucks more?
MIAMI 3 doggies over The Bengals - See above
Rams 6 doggies over ARIZONA - Let's make it a 3 Dog Night!
CLASSIC CLIP OF THE WEEK
Tom'w December 29th marks 6 years since I met Trophy Wife!! It also is 2 years since I was hit by a bird during our trip to Florida. Here is that classic clip:
HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!
Friday, December 21, 2007
The TV Quarterly Report
Twas The Night Before Christmas
And All Through The Plaza...
There Were All the Jews
Cheering Avi Maza!
Ok that doesn't quite rhyme... How about this??
Twas The Night Before Christmas
As I sped to see Maza
Got Caught by a cop
who zapped me with his tasa!
Yes folks.... for the 2nd straight year, my Temple will be sponsoring a terrific show with The Avi Maza Orchestra - it starts at 7pm at The East Brunswick Jewish Center. It costs 40 at the door! Admission includes a Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet All You Can Eat Dinner. The event will be at 511 Ryders Lane in East Brunswick, NJ - Music will include "The Great American Songbook" - featuring songs by Jewish artists including Mama Cass which makes you wonder if they will do "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire!"
As I have written in my annual Christmas column, being a Jew on Xmas has its advantages. Yes, I don't mind if folks wish me a merry, and some of my co-workers actually bought my tall tale about my side job as a mall Santa. Or was it a Tall Tale??
As usual, Christmas for this Yid will be the Maza concert and as many of my movie trifecta as I can watch. And since the TV writers are on strike and almost all the good shows ran out of new episodes, the tube is gonna be quite blase over the coming months. As usual, I have 12 A Christmas Story options since TBS is running it for 24 consecutive hours, Scrooged for some bizarre reason is not on the schedule this season ! and there was another movie I thought may be a possible replacement, The Family Stone will air Tuesday night at 6:45 PM on Cinemax and of course there is the classic - "It's a Wonderful Life" which airs Monday Night on NBC.
But once the Christmas movies wrap up - what will be left to watch on TV? Just a bunch of crap thanks to the strike! The late night talk shows will be back on January 2, but its a catch 22 - if Letterman, Conan and that no talent Jay Leno come up with funny material, then it minimizes the writer's impact - but if they suck... well then its just more garbage on TV.. but until this strike is settled it's just going to be a few selected scripted shows that have unaired episodes such as Lost and Jericho, reality shows, and American Idol destroying everybody else in the ratings. However in looking back at the Fall Preview, there are a few shows that have grown on me this season.. including...
THE BEST NEW SHOW.
Last fall, NBC took honors for this prize with their revolutionary Monday night Heroes show... a program about a bunch of people with superheroes who through a series of events end up teaming up together to save the world. NBC looked like it had really taken over the night with this falls introduction of JOURNEYMAN, but strangely enough the network has given it as much support as Nickleodeon will give the show with that little teenaged Spears slut who just ended up pregnant. I don't know what NBC is thinking, but unless they come to their senses... this show just aired its final episode on Wednesday night. NBC hasn't ordered any more episodes and if that doesn't change, our time traveling hero Dan Vasser has taken his final trip to the past. The show is impossible to describe.. Dan has these uncontrollable time travel missions where he goes to the past to fix something. He is helped by his now dead fiancee whose disappearance many years back was part of her time traveling to her future since she really lives in the 1940s. The show built some pretty cool backstory and layered it together quite well, although a weird FBI agent's investigation of Dan ended up flat.. but since the actor used to be Ryan Chapelle on 24, it wasn't such a big deal. However, due to the writing strike where the only writing left was on the wall - the show was going to be toast after its initial 13 episodes.
Last year, the Jericho fans sent nuts to CBS execs because it related to that show's plot and with all those nuts pouring in CBS relented and is bringing the show back. As I pointed out in the comments section on TV critic Alan Sepinwall's blog, Monday's episode revelated that the son on Journeyman was conceived when his parents got frisky during a SF Giants game. So on the heels of the CBS-nuts-Jericho mailing campaign, I think that since Barry Bonds played for The Giants, Journeyman fans should mail steroids to NBC. Can you imagine Journeyman fans sneaking into NBC headquarters and injecting corporate bigshots with a shot of steroids in the tushy? Unless NBC comes to its senses, the only journeyman I will get to see is the parade of drek that will come out of the Mets bullpen starting in April.
3 NEW SHOWS FOR THE FALL TOP 14 LIST
In the fall preview we named 14 shows to watch this season... Now that 2007 is done, I am taking 3 off that list - Tell Me You Love Me finished its run on HBO, as did Phenomenon on NBC. In addition, The Singing Bee is going to lose its slot since it has been off also, although its going to be coming back. Here are the 3 shows to replace them....
DONT FORGET THE LYRICS- Yep, Fox was watching The Singing Bee on NBC.. stole the idea... and then remade it in a much more entertaining and exciting format. It's kind of like Who Wants to be a Millionaire meets karaoke.. and Wayne Brady is the perfect host for this show.. although his James Brown bit the other week was a bit odd where all of a sudden, he just started singing and dancing with the 2007 version of Jan and Diane - Motion from the Old Deney Terio Dance Fever! The show is very slickly produced and extremely entertaning, and stole a page from Deal or No Deal by building to a cliffhanger moment and then tossing it to commercial.
30 ROCK - I just started watching it a few weeks ago and I like the Alec Baldwin acting job. His portrayal of the swarmy TV executive is quite hysterical - especially now that the extreme right winger is dating a liberal lawmaker whose story was told in a bizarre Lifetime movie called A Dog Took My Face And Gave Me a Better Face So I Could Change the World. The cool thing about this show is it is really funny. I see that 30 Rock along with the newer comedies not on the CBS Monday Night lineup have pretty much dumped the laugh track. However, other than the five card hand of Seinfeld, Cheers, Frasier, How I Met Your Mother, and Roseanne.. have any sitcoms since 1990 actually been.... funny?? Nope. The laugh track was really the chance for producers to hang themselves out to dry because it told the viewers what was "supposed to be" funny... and then we as the viewer could count how many laugh track jokes just weren't funny to see how much a sitcom was really striking out. Now without the laugh track... we the viewer lose a major barometer! Yet the audience laughs at Leno for some reason.
And the last slot goes to GRETA VAN SUSTEREN ON FOX NEWS - I was leaning towards How I Met Your Mother which I am watching again.. but Greta will singlehandedly get credit when an arrest is made in the disappearance of Staci Peterson. Even if the creepy hubby didn't do it, at this point it is really hard to believe that this woman just staged her own disappearance. Yet Greta got on this story right off the bat, and within days that she vanished, must have held a preproduction charades meeting where she tapped her ear and told players it "sounds like Laci Peterson". Her crew jumped on this story full throttle, which led to the reopening of the mysterious death of the often married husband's 3rd wife. I might have put Private Practice on this list... but frankly I only watch it to drool over Kate Walsh.
So what do we have to look forward to next year? Well more reality shows are headed our way - along with some game shows.. Duel has looked kind of good so far.. although Mike Greenberg doesn't really impress me as a host. Greenberg kept saying the same things over and over....You're watching Duel on ABC. What would he say if he was hosting a reality show with old people?? You're watching Drool on ABC? And 1 vs. 100 is coming back soon too. But as long as the strike goes on, it's going to be more hockey for me. Tuesday Night I watched the Devils play the Canucks.. it was the Devils first trip to Vancouver since December 29, 2001 - which just so happens to be the day I met my lovely wife!!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - So here we are at the tail end of 2007 - The Year of Vladimir Putin who will become the new powerful Russian Prime Minister and make his former Presidential Post largely ceremonial... just as they do in Israel. Pumpstradamus has already predicted that he will be here next week with a special podcast with his 2008 predictions. I just took a listen to last year's predictions where not only did he accurately predict The Colts Super Bowl Win... but he also predicted that the next celebrity caught without panties would be... Richard Simmons.
Pumpy's late season swoon continues!! Last week he lost again dropping to 10-5 - his 3rd consecutive loss! For this week, we take a quote directly from A Christmas Story - "I see that the Bears are playing Green Bay on Sunday". The Packers are 8 1/2 point faves.. Sayeth The Pump: "Well since Brett Favre is SI Sportsman of the Year.. in his honor I take his team the Bears". When informed that Favre is on the Packers, he announced his pick as Green Bay! Next week Pumpy will learn to pronounce Mike Krzycewski!
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: :Last week we went 1-2 again to drop to 22-21-2... Anyway maybe we jumped the gun last week looking at the Giants potential first round opponents.. although they could actually lose Sunday and still make the playoffs!!
Giants 3 faves over BUFFALO - Do not even think about losing this game and the alternative of needing a win against New England! Although, one loss by The Saints and The Skins will get The Giants in. But backdoor clinches = first round losses. Time for the Giants to take The Buffalo by the Horn!
Philly 3 doggies over NEW ORLEANS - Sorry about Katrina.. I'm still rooting against the Saints!
Washington 6 1/2 doggies over MINNESOTA - The skins will be eliminated Sunday... but at least they will cover the spread.
CLIP OF THE WEEK;
What else would I put up this week? Fragileeeeee It Must be Italian!
And All Through The Plaza...
There Were All the Jews
Cheering Avi Maza!
Ok that doesn't quite rhyme... How about this??
Twas The Night Before Christmas
As I sped to see Maza
Got Caught by a cop
who zapped me with his tasa!
Yes folks.... for the 2nd straight year, my Temple will be sponsoring a terrific show with The Avi Maza Orchestra - it starts at 7pm at The East Brunswick Jewish Center. It costs 40 at the door! Admission includes a Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet All You Can Eat Dinner. The event will be at 511 Ryders Lane in East Brunswick, NJ - Music will include "The Great American Songbook" - featuring songs by Jewish artists including Mama Cass which makes you wonder if they will do "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire!"
As I have written in my annual Christmas column, being a Jew on Xmas has its advantages. Yes, I don't mind if folks wish me a merry, and some of my co-workers actually bought my tall tale about my side job as a mall Santa. Or was it a Tall Tale??
As usual, Christmas for this Yid will be the Maza concert and as many of my movie trifecta as I can watch. And since the TV writers are on strike and almost all the good shows ran out of new episodes, the tube is gonna be quite blase over the coming months. As usual, I have 12 A Christmas Story options since TBS is running it for 24 consecutive hours, Scrooged for some bizarre reason is not on the schedule this season ! and there was another movie I thought may be a possible replacement, The Family Stone will air Tuesday night at 6:45 PM on Cinemax and of course there is the classic - "It's a Wonderful Life" which airs Monday Night on NBC.
But once the Christmas movies wrap up - what will be left to watch on TV? Just a bunch of crap thanks to the strike! The late night talk shows will be back on January 2, but its a catch 22 - if Letterman, Conan and that no talent Jay Leno come up with funny material, then it minimizes the writer's impact - but if they suck... well then its just more garbage on TV.. but until this strike is settled it's just going to be a few selected scripted shows that have unaired episodes such as Lost and Jericho, reality shows, and American Idol destroying everybody else in the ratings. However in looking back at the Fall Preview, there are a few shows that have grown on me this season.. including...
THE BEST NEW SHOW.
Last fall, NBC took honors for this prize with their revolutionary Monday night Heroes show... a program about a bunch of people with superheroes who through a series of events end up teaming up together to save the world. NBC looked like it had really taken over the night with this falls introduction of JOURNEYMAN, but strangely enough the network has given it as much support as Nickleodeon will give the show with that little teenaged Spears slut who just ended up pregnant. I don't know what NBC is thinking, but unless they come to their senses... this show just aired its final episode on Wednesday night. NBC hasn't ordered any more episodes and if that doesn't change, our time traveling hero Dan Vasser has taken his final trip to the past. The show is impossible to describe.. Dan has these uncontrollable time travel missions where he goes to the past to fix something. He is helped by his now dead fiancee whose disappearance many years back was part of her time traveling to her future since she really lives in the 1940s. The show built some pretty cool backstory and layered it together quite well, although a weird FBI agent's investigation of Dan ended up flat.. but since the actor used to be Ryan Chapelle on 24, it wasn't such a big deal. However, due to the writing strike where the only writing left was on the wall - the show was going to be toast after its initial 13 episodes.
Last year, the Jericho fans sent nuts to CBS execs because it related to that show's plot and with all those nuts pouring in CBS relented and is bringing the show back. As I pointed out in the comments section on TV critic Alan Sepinwall's blog, Monday's episode revelated that the son on Journeyman was conceived when his parents got frisky during a SF Giants game. So on the heels of the CBS-nuts-Jericho mailing campaign, I think that since Barry Bonds played for The Giants, Journeyman fans should mail steroids to NBC. Can you imagine Journeyman fans sneaking into NBC headquarters and injecting corporate bigshots with a shot of steroids in the tushy? Unless NBC comes to its senses, the only journeyman I will get to see is the parade of drek that will come out of the Mets bullpen starting in April.
3 NEW SHOWS FOR THE FALL TOP 14 LIST
In the fall preview we named 14 shows to watch this season... Now that 2007 is done, I am taking 3 off that list - Tell Me You Love Me finished its run on HBO, as did Phenomenon on NBC. In addition, The Singing Bee is going to lose its slot since it has been off also, although its going to be coming back. Here are the 3 shows to replace them....
DONT FORGET THE LYRICS- Yep, Fox was watching The Singing Bee on NBC.. stole the idea... and then remade it in a much more entertaining and exciting format. It's kind of like Who Wants to be a Millionaire meets karaoke.. and Wayne Brady is the perfect host for this show.. although his James Brown bit the other week was a bit odd where all of a sudden, he just started singing and dancing with the 2007 version of Jan and Diane - Motion from the Old Deney Terio Dance Fever! The show is very slickly produced and extremely entertaning, and stole a page from Deal or No Deal by building to a cliffhanger moment and then tossing it to commercial.
30 ROCK - I just started watching it a few weeks ago and I like the Alec Baldwin acting job. His portrayal of the swarmy TV executive is quite hysterical - especially now that the extreme right winger is dating a liberal lawmaker whose story was told in a bizarre Lifetime movie called A Dog Took My Face And Gave Me a Better Face So I Could Change the World. The cool thing about this show is it is really funny. I see that 30 Rock along with the newer comedies not on the CBS Monday Night lineup have pretty much dumped the laugh track. However, other than the five card hand of Seinfeld, Cheers, Frasier, How I Met Your Mother, and Roseanne.. have any sitcoms since 1990 actually been.... funny?? Nope. The laugh track was really the chance for producers to hang themselves out to dry because it told the viewers what was "supposed to be" funny... and then we as the viewer could count how many laugh track jokes just weren't funny to see how much a sitcom was really striking out. Now without the laugh track... we the viewer lose a major barometer! Yet the audience laughs at Leno for some reason.
And the last slot goes to GRETA VAN SUSTEREN ON FOX NEWS - I was leaning towards How I Met Your Mother which I am watching again.. but Greta will singlehandedly get credit when an arrest is made in the disappearance of Staci Peterson. Even if the creepy hubby didn't do it, at this point it is really hard to believe that this woman just staged her own disappearance. Yet Greta got on this story right off the bat, and within days that she vanished, must have held a preproduction charades meeting where she tapped her ear and told players it "sounds like Laci Peterson". Her crew jumped on this story full throttle, which led to the reopening of the mysterious death of the often married husband's 3rd wife. I might have put Private Practice on this list... but frankly I only watch it to drool over Kate Walsh.
So what do we have to look forward to next year? Well more reality shows are headed our way - along with some game shows.. Duel has looked kind of good so far.. although Mike Greenberg doesn't really impress me as a host. Greenberg kept saying the same things over and over....You're watching Duel on ABC. What would he say if he was hosting a reality show with old people?? You're watching Drool on ABC? And 1 vs. 100 is coming back soon too. But as long as the strike goes on, it's going to be more hockey for me. Tuesday Night I watched the Devils play the Canucks.. it was the Devils first trip to Vancouver since December 29, 2001 - which just so happens to be the day I met my lovely wife!!
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - So here we are at the tail end of 2007 - The Year of Vladimir Putin who will become the new powerful Russian Prime Minister and make his former Presidential Post largely ceremonial... just as they do in Israel. Pumpstradamus has already predicted that he will be here next week with a special podcast with his 2008 predictions. I just took a listen to last year's predictions where not only did he accurately predict The Colts Super Bowl Win... but he also predicted that the next celebrity caught without panties would be... Richard Simmons.
Pumpy's late season swoon continues!! Last week he lost again dropping to 10-5 - his 3rd consecutive loss! For this week, we take a quote directly from A Christmas Story - "I see that the Bears are playing Green Bay on Sunday". The Packers are 8 1/2 point faves.. Sayeth The Pump: "Well since Brett Favre is SI Sportsman of the Year.. in his honor I take his team the Bears". When informed that Favre is on the Packers, he announced his pick as Green Bay! Next week Pumpy will learn to pronounce Mike Krzycewski!
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: :Last week we went 1-2 again to drop to 22-21-2... Anyway maybe we jumped the gun last week looking at the Giants potential first round opponents.. although they could actually lose Sunday and still make the playoffs!!
Giants 3 faves over BUFFALO - Do not even think about losing this game and the alternative of needing a win against New England! Although, one loss by The Saints and The Skins will get The Giants in. But backdoor clinches = first round losses. Time for the Giants to take The Buffalo by the Horn!
Philly 3 doggies over NEW ORLEANS - Sorry about Katrina.. I'm still rooting against the Saints!
Washington 6 1/2 doggies over MINNESOTA - The skins will be eliminated Sunday... but at least they will cover the spread.
CLIP OF THE WEEK;
What else would I put up this week? Fragileeeeee It Must be Italian!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
A Letter to Blogspot
Dear Mr. Blogspot,
Hi its Nate from Nate's World of Words. Got a question about the sick days package with Blogspot... Y'see I have this weekly commitment to provide football picks and I have been sick all week with bronchitis. Do I still have to do a regular column too or can I just do picks and a Clip of the Week?
I started feeling sick on Sunday morning... we had about 30 people over the night before, and both Pumpstradamus and Musical Genius Neil Fein came over with their colds... but I don't blame them for this bug.... DAS had a cold too, but he blames it on the Republicans that we don't have good health care in America.
Speaking of liberals it was neat to hear Alan Colmes on with Imus this morning. I got a kick out of how Imus had no recollection of where he was when WNBC went off the air with Alan at the helm and switched the 66 singnal over to WFAN while Imus was live.... at Shea Stadium. But I couldn't believe it when Alan said he thought Edwards was going to win the Democratic nomination because of his hair... it's all about the hair!! That is exactly what I said here on NWOW back on October 25th!
I did put together the Clip of the Week. As you know my Temple, the place where I met Trophy Wife back on December 29, 2001 is sponsoring a fantastic show that answers the age old question "What do you do Christmas Eve if you are Jewish"? And we welcome those of you who googled their way over here after asking that question! Well this year our Temple along with East Brunswick Jewish Center is sponsoring a fantastic show starring singer Avi Maza. It will be held on December 24th starting at 7pm at The East Brunswick Jewish Center on 511 Ryders Lane in East Brunswick, NJ. Avi is known for doing shows and bar/bat mitzvahs and weddings.. heck we would have used him for our wedding, if we knew he would allow Trophy Wife to grab a microphone and sing along as she did that fateful day! Anyway, I have been helping out with the publicity and Avi sent me some video and music he had done.. and voila we have a promotional video! Avi's show will be "The Great American Songbook" featuring music by legendary Jewish singers such as Manilow, Streisand, Gershwin, The Beastie Boys, etc. Just kidding about The Beastie Boys. And you won't have to fight for your right to party because as you can see... Avi puts on a great show. And on top of that, they will have an All You Can Eat Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet! The price is $40... 36 in advance if you call 732-545-6482. Now aren't you happy you googled "What is there to do for a Jew on Christmas Eve?"
And as a add on bonus... here is another slightly different version that was the original promo. A couple of graphics are different, and the music is slightlly altered...
Anyway Mr. Blogspot, I spent Wednesday at home watching my first Drew Carey episode of The Price is Right... coincidentally it was Bob Barker's b'day. It's nice to see Drew with his Barker-esque reminder to help control the pet population - and I was really amazed that the showcase showdown actually had a very familiar theme song come up. I stood up in my couch like a bolt when I heard the Match Game music come on and saw that the models mismatched answers was actually the prize in the showcase - Good thing the answer wasn't old Match Game '7x favorite "tinkle"! I would have known I was delirous if the ghosts of Brett, Chuck and Gene would have appeared on the screen... but alas it was not to be.
The other thing I watched that day was the annual Dateline NBC Ann Curry update of the McCaughey Septuplets who are now 10 years old. I can't wait till down the road in one of the annual specials that they have become unruly teenagers and if God forbid one of them shows starts dating a tattooed guy with a Harley! Can you imagine if one of the boys on the 18th special tries to put the shmaneuver on the ageless Ann Curry?
The 11 o'clock news came on next but all it was that night was teases touting the infamous Mitchell Report that was going to out the players who were taking steroids. I really don't know why baseball continues to shoot itself in the foot by airing its dirty laundry. Don't they know how to manage their PR and put on a happy face and make everything sweet and sugary for the little pishers who love baseball and the memoribilia store owners who make a ton of profits in the 2 wks before Christmas? What does publicizing these names accomplish??
The strike from 1994 crippled the game and just by luck it was able to bounce back the following year when Cal Ripken broke Lou Gehrig's game playing record for baseball to look fun again. And even urban legend has it that Ripken's streak would have ended earlier than it did but a game was postponed when he caught his wife in bed with a famous actor and was too distraught to attend, so the Orioles "faked" a stadium lighting problem forcing the game's postponement. The story is apparently just an urban legend... but the fact is that if it was any unknown player whose wife was found in bed with an actor, we would shrug it off since actors and actresses apparently have sex with anybody. If that is the case, doesn't the publication of this steroid list by MLB do the same image damage that the acting world would do if they listed every actor and actress that had adulterous sex in order to earn a job! I don't see that list being published, and theoretically adultery violates one of the ten commandments so isn't that worse than steroids?
Finally Mr. Blogspot, I decided that I needed to sleep so I popped in some comfort food into the dvd player... "The Sound of Music".... the legendary Rogers and Hammerstein musical and the cure to soothe all of us who have a fever. I also had been reading through an old book of cartoons written by the legendary Bil Keane of The Family Circus but as I drifted off to cough medicine induced sleepy-land, I had the strangest dream. It was like a long movie trailer with a narrator...
Bil Von Keane led the charmed life. A retired Navy Captain, his life was filled with structure and discipline. Every morning after he woke up at precisely 0600, he drew a circle and moments later had a funny cartoon about his kids. The early successes of his cartoons gave him the opportunity to publish many books along with book signings across the country including a Barnes and Noble in NJ where he had the opportunity to once meet Former NJ Governor Tom Kean prompting Von Keane to declare.. "Why the hell do you pronounce your name cane? It should be Keane!"
Buyers of his books noticed something very interesting. On the back covers it had a biography of Bil Von Keane which told people that he was the father of 5 kids. But in The Family Circus strip.. there was only Billy, Jeffy, Dolly and PJ. What happened to the 5th kid? Why wasn't the 5th kid in the strip? What could that kid have done that was so bad to be left out of the strip?? Did Von Keane once threaten.. ."Either you finish your Brussells Sprouts... or I am dropping you from the comic strip!" Did he hit Dolly in the head with a frying pan?
The kids were a bit much.. as was his wife. She always complained that she only had one hairstyle change since 1950. Ultimately he befriended 2 young boys who were hired to "take care of her". Actually they ended up adopting her as their mom and she was always baking and cooking and sewing and the young men never drove her nuts. It was a nice arrangement.. she even changed her hairstyle on a regular basis. Later on she studies Kabballah and like Madonna, changed her name to Esther.
But Bil Von Keane was a strict disciplinarian and he knew he needed help with the kids and the house. He hired an ex nun named Maria to be their governess. He was always entertaining guests at his big house and every evening prior to bedtime all the children had to come to the steps to bid the guests Good Night. And every night it was the same. Von Keane stepped forward... blew his whistle and each child stepped forward and announced his name...
"Billy"
"Jeffy"
"Dolly"
"PJ"
"The Fifth Kid"...
And then they would all join in... "So Long, Farewell, auf weedershen adieu... Adieu Adieu to You and You and You and You and You.... Doo doo doo doo doo.
But a lot of secrets were hidden in the Von Keane house. Dolly had a telegram delivery friend named Elmo who lived near Dagwood Bumstead. Elmo used to spend a lot of quiet moments with her in the Von Keane gazebo. But Dolly was starting to lose Elmo... as the delivery boy was getting seduced by a growing militia from the Evil German Empire. The Germans were trying to persuade Von Keane to show his support for the incoming German regime...and join their military... but he refused! Ultimately the Von Keanes had to leave town, but just as their escape was complete there facing them with a drawn pistol was... Elmo??
Thankfully Trophy Wife woke me up at that point to remind me to take my medicine to help me sleep!
Thanks for your consideration Mr. Blogspot. I am almost 100% better and I plan to have my usual silliness posted right here next week!
Sincerely,
Nate from Nate's World of Words
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: What's happening with Pumpie? He lost again last week dropping to 10-4. This week we go to New Jersey which is now the first state to repeal the death penalty. This week, The Jets travel to New England, where the Patriots are a historical 23 1/2 point favorite. Pump was very proud because he heard Frank Deford talking about Bill Belichick on NPR.. "Is he with the Jets" asked the Pump... When informed that he is the Patriots Coach, the Pump said.. "Frank Deford is the Patriots coach?" Moments later he had his pick ready: "Since my friend Barry is a Patriots fan, and since Barry is helping us with the Avi Maza concert.. in his honor I take the Patriots!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we went 1-2 to get to 21-19-2. This week let's start predicting the downfall of the Giants prospective first round opponents since it looks like they have pretty much wrapped up a playoff spot.
GIANTS 4 1/2 faves over Washington - Gosh a prime time game where a win would clinch a playoff spot? Why does this game make me sooooo nervous?
Atlanta 13 1/2 doggies over TAMPA BAY - It's been a rough week for the Falcons - especially after their coach bolted for Arkansas and former QB Michael Vick pretty much said adios to his teammates.
CAROLINA 7 1/2 doggies over Seattle - I see a late season pre playoff swoon for the Giants probable first round opponents... Hopefully it won't be the Giants who have the swoon.
BONUS CLIP OF THE WEEK; From the subliminal seduction department.... since the Avi Maza Christmas Eve Show features Chinese Food... here is a song about Jews eating Chinese Food on Christmas! Mmmmmm Yummy.,... The song is called "Chinese Food on Christmas",... but I renamed it Chinese Food and Avi Maza on Christmas!
Hi its Nate from Nate's World of Words. Got a question about the sick days package with Blogspot... Y'see I have this weekly commitment to provide football picks and I have been sick all week with bronchitis. Do I still have to do a regular column too or can I just do picks and a Clip of the Week?
I started feeling sick on Sunday morning... we had about 30 people over the night before, and both Pumpstradamus and Musical Genius Neil Fein came over with their colds... but I don't blame them for this bug.... DAS had a cold too, but he blames it on the Republicans that we don't have good health care in America.
Speaking of liberals it was neat to hear Alan Colmes on with Imus this morning. I got a kick out of how Imus had no recollection of where he was when WNBC went off the air with Alan at the helm and switched the 66 singnal over to WFAN while Imus was live.... at Shea Stadium. But I couldn't believe it when Alan said he thought Edwards was going to win the Democratic nomination because of his hair... it's all about the hair!! That is exactly what I said here on NWOW back on October 25th!
I did put together the Clip of the Week. As you know my Temple, the place where I met Trophy Wife back on December 29, 2001 is sponsoring a fantastic show that answers the age old question "What do you do Christmas Eve if you are Jewish"? And we welcome those of you who googled their way over here after asking that question! Well this year our Temple along with East Brunswick Jewish Center is sponsoring a fantastic show starring singer Avi Maza. It will be held on December 24th starting at 7pm at The East Brunswick Jewish Center on 511 Ryders Lane in East Brunswick, NJ. Avi is known for doing shows and bar/bat mitzvahs and weddings.. heck we would have used him for our wedding, if we knew he would allow Trophy Wife to grab a microphone and sing along as she did that fateful day! Anyway, I have been helping out with the publicity and Avi sent me some video and music he had done.. and voila we have a promotional video! Avi's show will be "The Great American Songbook" featuring music by legendary Jewish singers such as Manilow, Streisand, Gershwin, The Beastie Boys, etc. Just kidding about The Beastie Boys. And you won't have to fight for your right to party because as you can see... Avi puts on a great show. And on top of that, they will have an All You Can Eat Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet! The price is $40... 36 in advance if you call 732-545-6482. Now aren't you happy you googled "What is there to do for a Jew on Christmas Eve?"
And as a add on bonus... here is another slightly different version that was the original promo. A couple of graphics are different, and the music is slightlly altered...
Anyway Mr. Blogspot, I spent Wednesday at home watching my first Drew Carey episode of The Price is Right... coincidentally it was Bob Barker's b'day. It's nice to see Drew with his Barker-esque reminder to help control the pet population - and I was really amazed that the showcase showdown actually had a very familiar theme song come up. I stood up in my couch like a bolt when I heard the Match Game music come on and saw that the models mismatched answers was actually the prize in the showcase - Good thing the answer wasn't old Match Game '7x favorite "tinkle"! I would have known I was delirous if the ghosts of Brett, Chuck and Gene would have appeared on the screen... but alas it was not to be.
The other thing I watched that day was the annual Dateline NBC Ann Curry update of the McCaughey Septuplets who are now 10 years old. I can't wait till down the road in one of the annual specials that they have become unruly teenagers and if God forbid one of them shows starts dating a tattooed guy with a Harley! Can you imagine if one of the boys on the 18th special tries to put the shmaneuver on the ageless Ann Curry?
The 11 o'clock news came on next but all it was that night was teases touting the infamous Mitchell Report that was going to out the players who were taking steroids. I really don't know why baseball continues to shoot itself in the foot by airing its dirty laundry. Don't they know how to manage their PR and put on a happy face and make everything sweet and sugary for the little pishers who love baseball and the memoribilia store owners who make a ton of profits in the 2 wks before Christmas? What does publicizing these names accomplish??
The strike from 1994 crippled the game and just by luck it was able to bounce back the following year when Cal Ripken broke Lou Gehrig's game playing record for baseball to look fun again. And even urban legend has it that Ripken's streak would have ended earlier than it did but a game was postponed when he caught his wife in bed with a famous actor and was too distraught to attend, so the Orioles "faked" a stadium lighting problem forcing the game's postponement. The story is apparently just an urban legend... but the fact is that if it was any unknown player whose wife was found in bed with an actor, we would shrug it off since actors and actresses apparently have sex with anybody. If that is the case, doesn't the publication of this steroid list by MLB do the same image damage that the acting world would do if they listed every actor and actress that had adulterous sex in order to earn a job! I don't see that list being published, and theoretically adultery violates one of the ten commandments so isn't that worse than steroids?
Finally Mr. Blogspot, I decided that I needed to sleep so I popped in some comfort food into the dvd player... "The Sound of Music".... the legendary Rogers and Hammerstein musical and the cure to soothe all of us who have a fever. I also had been reading through an old book of cartoons written by the legendary Bil Keane of The Family Circus but as I drifted off to cough medicine induced sleepy-land, I had the strangest dream. It was like a long movie trailer with a narrator...
Bil Von Keane led the charmed life. A retired Navy Captain, his life was filled with structure and discipline. Every morning after he woke up at precisely 0600, he drew a circle and moments later had a funny cartoon about his kids. The early successes of his cartoons gave him the opportunity to publish many books along with book signings across the country including a Barnes and Noble in NJ where he had the opportunity to once meet Former NJ Governor Tom Kean prompting Von Keane to declare.. "Why the hell do you pronounce your name cane? It should be Keane!"
Buyers of his books noticed something very interesting. On the back covers it had a biography of Bil Von Keane which told people that he was the father of 5 kids. But in The Family Circus strip.. there was only Billy, Jeffy, Dolly and PJ. What happened to the 5th kid? Why wasn't the 5th kid in the strip? What could that kid have done that was so bad to be left out of the strip?? Did Von Keane once threaten.. ."Either you finish your Brussells Sprouts... or I am dropping you from the comic strip!" Did he hit Dolly in the head with a frying pan?
The kids were a bit much.. as was his wife. She always complained that she only had one hairstyle change since 1950. Ultimately he befriended 2 young boys who were hired to "take care of her". Actually they ended up adopting her as their mom and she was always baking and cooking and sewing and the young men never drove her nuts. It was a nice arrangement.. she even changed her hairstyle on a regular basis. Later on she studies Kabballah and like Madonna, changed her name to Esther.
But Bil Von Keane was a strict disciplinarian and he knew he needed help with the kids and the house. He hired an ex nun named Maria to be their governess. He was always entertaining guests at his big house and every evening prior to bedtime all the children had to come to the steps to bid the guests Good Night. And every night it was the same. Von Keane stepped forward... blew his whistle and each child stepped forward and announced his name...
"Billy"
"Jeffy"
"Dolly"
"PJ"
"The Fifth Kid"...
And then they would all join in... "So Long, Farewell, auf weedershen adieu... Adieu Adieu to You and You and You and You and You.... Doo doo doo doo doo.
But a lot of secrets were hidden in the Von Keane house. Dolly had a telegram delivery friend named Elmo who lived near Dagwood Bumstead. Elmo used to spend a lot of quiet moments with her in the Von Keane gazebo. But Dolly was starting to lose Elmo... as the delivery boy was getting seduced by a growing militia from the Evil German Empire. The Germans were trying to persuade Von Keane to show his support for the incoming German regime...and join their military... but he refused! Ultimately the Von Keanes had to leave town, but just as their escape was complete there facing them with a drawn pistol was... Elmo??
Thankfully Trophy Wife woke me up at that point to remind me to take my medicine to help me sleep!
Thanks for your consideration Mr. Blogspot. I am almost 100% better and I plan to have my usual silliness posted right here next week!
Sincerely,
Nate from Nate's World of Words
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: What's happening with Pumpie? He lost again last week dropping to 10-4. This week we go to New Jersey which is now the first state to repeal the death penalty. This week, The Jets travel to New England, where the Patriots are a historical 23 1/2 point favorite. Pump was very proud because he heard Frank Deford talking about Bill Belichick on NPR.. "Is he with the Jets" asked the Pump... When informed that he is the Patriots Coach, the Pump said.. "Frank Deford is the Patriots coach?" Moments later he had his pick ready: "Since my friend Barry is a Patriots fan, and since Barry is helping us with the Avi Maza concert.. in his honor I take the Patriots!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we went 1-2 to get to 21-19-2. This week let's start predicting the downfall of the Giants prospective first round opponents since it looks like they have pretty much wrapped up a playoff spot.
GIANTS 4 1/2 faves over Washington - Gosh a prime time game where a win would clinch a playoff spot? Why does this game make me sooooo nervous?
Atlanta 13 1/2 doggies over TAMPA BAY - It's been a rough week for the Falcons - especially after their coach bolted for Arkansas and former QB Michael Vick pretty much said adios to his teammates.
CAROLINA 7 1/2 doggies over Seattle - I see a late season pre playoff swoon for the Giants probable first round opponents... Hopefully it won't be the Giants who have the swoon.
BONUS CLIP OF THE WEEK; From the subliminal seduction department.... since the Avi Maza Christmas Eve Show features Chinese Food... here is a song about Jews eating Chinese Food on Christmas! Mmmmmm Yummy.,... The song is called "Chinese Food on Christmas",... but I renamed it Chinese Food and Avi Maza on Christmas!
Friday, December 07, 2007
On Her Majesty's Secret Service - A Movie Club Column
Well folks.. it is Movie Club time as we present Part 2 of our 6 part James Bond series. Today it's George Lazenby in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". Here is the trailer...
Even though this is only my second Bond movie, it is the first and only movie starring George Lazenby... a rookie movie star who was not only starring in his first movie.. but was also appearing in his first movie!! Lazenby was a model at the time, and the producers thought he bore a strong enough resemblance to Sean Connery that he could easily slide right into the role. Despite his lack of experience and Connery's incredible popularity... Lazenby surprisingly more than holds his own in this very challenging role.
I didn't know much about the movie as I watched the opening credits other than what I had seen in Goldfinger and that the villian in this movie is a guy named Blofeld played by Telly Savalas. But as I watched the opening credits and thought about Blofeld and Goldfinger it reminded me of....... Bowfinger. The fact that Savalas was going to be in the same movie as Diana Rigg made me as excited as when I saw that Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy were both in Bowfinger. But OHMSS disappointed me the same way as Bowfinger because despite a strong cast, the story was weak... and the movie did not live up to my expectations. In OHMSS, Savalas and Rigg aren't on together till the very end.. and although the scenes are entertaining... it seems to be too little too late since we are already past the 2 hour mark in a way too long 2 hour 20 minute movie! Bowfinger.. Blofeld.. it just goes to show that sometimes the big anticipation leads to disappointment..
The opening of the movie sets the tone as Bond rescues Diana Rigg's Tracy... She is the daughter of mobster Marc Draco played by Garbriele Ferzeti... and his acting performance in this 1969 movie makes you think that he might have been the inspiration for Marlon Brando in The Godfather... except Ferzeti doesn't speak like he has a mouthful of marbles... Draco makes Bond an offer he can't refuse.. he wants him to marry his daughter... creating a potential opportunity for him to never turn down a request on the day of his daughter's wedding. But before there are any weddings, Bond has to spend the first few minutes rescuing his damsel from a dangerous situation on the beach. Bond the stud rescues her, but his advances towards her are rebuffed... prompting the new Bond to look to the camera and deadpan..."This never happened to the other fellow!" He also has another rib tickler when a villian dies by skiing into a snow blower. When the machine churns out snow that is red - Bond quips..."He had a lot of guts".
From there it's off to a hoity toity French casino..and again Tracy gets herself in a tight spot.. playing a card game and then losing.. without having the money to pay her bet. Bond bails her out yet again, and you can already see that this woman is going to be a royal pain in the tuchis. Incidentally the playing card sequences are a bit odd to look at. I don't know if it's the French cards or if this is how cards looked in the 60s.. but the playing cards have no numbers on them!.. And who wants to sit there and count if it is a nine or ten? And by the way... did you know in France they don't have a Jack in the deck? The card between 10 and Queen is actually called Valet!
The first part of the movie moves along at a snail's pace... . It would be about an hour before Savalas shows up... and then things really start getting good. But despite my impatience with the plodding first hour... there were a couple of interesting developments. Bond's latest gadget is a photocopy machine that also has a safe cracking mechanism... I guess if you don't have Heroes Peter Petrelli around, the gadget will do the job. Heroes also has a similar theme to this movie since the main plot involves Blofeld trying to release a virus that will give him world domination! And we also get a different look at women in this movie. especially with some insight into how valuable spy agency secretary Miss Moneypenny is to the whole operation... A frustrated Bond dictates his resignation letter, but instead Moneypenny types a 2 week vacation request which gets 007 a much needed break from all the craziness at his agency! Of course once Bond looks at all the gadgets he has collected over the years, he realizes he really can't tear himself away from his lifestyle.
We also get a different view of women in this Bond movie as James is not as casual about his relationship with Tracy as he is with other women in the Bond series. The entire premise that Draco could actually get Bond to settle down with his daughter seems like a stretch... everybody knows that Bond is not the marrying kind. That is why near the end the viewer is shocked stunned and mortified when studboy Bond indicates to Tracy that he wants to settle down with her. I am not going to give it away, but basically the rest of the movie is one stunner after another capped off with a jaw dropping climax. The odd thing about Lazenby's legacy is that Bond is not supposed to want to commit to one woman. Yet, in his one appearance.. Lazenby comes off as a more serious less Playboy-ish Bond.
The first hour of the film wasn't too exciting... basically it's up to Bond to find Blofeld and he parlays Draco's interest in making him his son in law into an opportunity to find him in his Swiss hideaway located way atop a mountain reachable only by ski lift which means the escape can only be done by thrilling incredible downhill ski sequences. As a big fan of Winter Olympic Ski Jumping these shots were incredible as Bond tries to escape the bad guys, The cameras were actually held by a man who was hanging suspended in mid air while flown high atop the mountains in a helicopter!!
Bond manages to infiltrate Blofeld's mountain retreat... the place is supposed to be an allergy research facility. And even though Bond manages to sneak up there posing as a genealogy researcher, Bond has those Bond hormones, and the research subjects turn out to be an international bevy of amazingly hot babes. The women, each from a different country have been "programmed" to release the virus. They get their final instructions while under hypnosis on Christmas Eve!
Speaking of Christmas Eve.. if you are Jewish.. and looking for something to do on Christmas Eve... here is a great solution to that annual "What the heck can a Jew do on Christmas Eve?" dilemma. My temple.. the same one where I met Trophy Wife 6 years ago, is hosting an event at The East Brunswick Jewish Center. It's a concert by Popular Singer Avi Maza and his fantastic band!.. We went last year and had a blast.. This year Maza will be doing "The Great American Songbook"....which is a playlist of popular music by Jewish artists. More details are at his website. The 40 at the door/36 in advance price includes a Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet.. which means it's all you can eat.. and frankly I've been starving myself since Thanksgiving! I'm volunteering on the committee this year.. it has been so much fun and we are really psyched for the show... plus there will still be plenty of time to get home to watch A Christmas Story Marathon which drives Trophy Wife up a wall because I keep yelling out "Fragilee? It Must Be Italian!"
Getting back to the movie, Lazenby's Bond is more competent than Connery's Bond was in Goldfinger... hormones are hormones and Bond can't resist his attempts to sneak out of his room and into the rooms of the chickies. That is ultimately his downfall however as Blofield catches him and "outs" him as 007. One thing I didnt know at the time I saw this was that Blofeld had met Bond in a prior movie.. but the movie release orders were switched around and since OHMSS was based very closely on the OHMSS book, the book's readers saw this as their first meeting.. but the movie viewers were scratching their heads at how Blofield didn't recognize the undercover Bond the first time he introduced himself as his alter ego.
I must admit I liked the acting, but like Bowfinger, despite some great casting.. I thought the story was just blah. I actually like Lazenby.. And Telly Savalas did his usual excellent job. The musical score was very well done. The cinematography was breathtaking... especially the ski races during the great escape from the mountain resort. A car chase involving an icy demolition derby was also entertaining to watch. But even though the Savalas storyline was exciting.. the first half was torturously slow...not quite waterboarding torture though and only worthy of one bladder.. but once Telly Savalas shows up... the pace and quality picked up considerably.... the rest is approximately a 3.5 bladder.. Therefore on a scale of one to four bladders... meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom....On Her Majesty's Secrest Service gets 2 1/2 bladders.
NEXT ---> Octopussy Starring Roger Moore.
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - Last week Pumpy went against the Giants and took a loss dropping his record to 10-3. This week in honor of the now unemployed illegal immigrants who used to work for Mitt Romney we travel to New England where the Patriots host the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Pats are 10 1/2 point faves. Sayeth The Pump: "Since this week's theme is James Bond and the fifth Bond was Pierce Brosnan... I gotta go with The Steelers since Brosnan used to be on Remington Steele. Plus I shaved with a Remington Razor this morning.
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we had our first 3-0 week improving to 20-17-2. By the way... about The Sunday Night Game... Is NBC doing some subliminal seduction? The players wear helmets manufactured by Ridell and the 11 o'clock post game newscast is anchored by Carol Ann.... Riddell! And if you're like me and watch her in HD.... homina homina homina.
Giants 3 doggies to PHILADELPHIA - Isn't it interesting how The Giants are road dogs to the Eagles, but were road faves over The Bears? Take Big Blue as they inch closer to a playoff berth!
Cards 7 doggies to SEATTLE - Who does a Giant fan root for? The Cards to get knocked out, or potential first round opponent Seattle to stumble to the finish line. I think Arizona will lose but cover.
49ERS 9 doggies to Minnesota - Wow.. 3 road doggies in one week... The Vikings look like they could be the 2nd wild card team.... but this week they will eat humble pie in a big upset.
CLIP OF THE WEEK;
This week we go to Kean-ascope Theater for a look back at the very moment I found out that Jacks in France are called Valet. This is from a cable restaurant show I used to do called "The Big Tippers Club".
Even though this is only my second Bond movie, it is the first and only movie starring George Lazenby... a rookie movie star who was not only starring in his first movie.. but was also appearing in his first movie!! Lazenby was a model at the time, and the producers thought he bore a strong enough resemblance to Sean Connery that he could easily slide right into the role. Despite his lack of experience and Connery's incredible popularity... Lazenby surprisingly more than holds his own in this very challenging role.
I didn't know much about the movie as I watched the opening credits other than what I had seen in Goldfinger and that the villian in this movie is a guy named Blofeld played by Telly Savalas. But as I watched the opening credits and thought about Blofeld and Goldfinger it reminded me of....... Bowfinger. The fact that Savalas was going to be in the same movie as Diana Rigg made me as excited as when I saw that Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy were both in Bowfinger. But OHMSS disappointed me the same way as Bowfinger because despite a strong cast, the story was weak... and the movie did not live up to my expectations. In OHMSS, Savalas and Rigg aren't on together till the very end.. and although the scenes are entertaining... it seems to be too little too late since we are already past the 2 hour mark in a way too long 2 hour 20 minute movie! Bowfinger.. Blofeld.. it just goes to show that sometimes the big anticipation leads to disappointment..
The opening of the movie sets the tone as Bond rescues Diana Rigg's Tracy... She is the daughter of mobster Marc Draco played by Garbriele Ferzeti... and his acting performance in this 1969 movie makes you think that he might have been the inspiration for Marlon Brando in The Godfather... except Ferzeti doesn't speak like he has a mouthful of marbles... Draco makes Bond an offer he can't refuse.. he wants him to marry his daughter... creating a potential opportunity for him to never turn down a request on the day of his daughter's wedding. But before there are any weddings, Bond has to spend the first few minutes rescuing his damsel from a dangerous situation on the beach. Bond the stud rescues her, but his advances towards her are rebuffed... prompting the new Bond to look to the camera and deadpan..."This never happened to the other fellow!" He also has another rib tickler when a villian dies by skiing into a snow blower. When the machine churns out snow that is red - Bond quips..."He had a lot of guts".
From there it's off to a hoity toity French casino..and again Tracy gets herself in a tight spot.. playing a card game and then losing.. without having the money to pay her bet. Bond bails her out yet again, and you can already see that this woman is going to be a royal pain in the tuchis. Incidentally the playing card sequences are a bit odd to look at. I don't know if it's the French cards or if this is how cards looked in the 60s.. but the playing cards have no numbers on them!.. And who wants to sit there and count if it is a nine or ten? And by the way... did you know in France they don't have a Jack in the deck? The card between 10 and Queen is actually called Valet!
The first part of the movie moves along at a snail's pace... . It would be about an hour before Savalas shows up... and then things really start getting good. But despite my impatience with the plodding first hour... there were a couple of interesting developments. Bond's latest gadget is a photocopy machine that also has a safe cracking mechanism... I guess if you don't have Heroes Peter Petrelli around, the gadget will do the job. Heroes also has a similar theme to this movie since the main plot involves Blofeld trying to release a virus that will give him world domination! And we also get a different look at women in this movie. especially with some insight into how valuable spy agency secretary Miss Moneypenny is to the whole operation... A frustrated Bond dictates his resignation letter, but instead Moneypenny types a 2 week vacation request which gets 007 a much needed break from all the craziness at his agency! Of course once Bond looks at all the gadgets he has collected over the years, he realizes he really can't tear himself away from his lifestyle.
We also get a different view of women in this Bond movie as James is not as casual about his relationship with Tracy as he is with other women in the Bond series. The entire premise that Draco could actually get Bond to settle down with his daughter seems like a stretch... everybody knows that Bond is not the marrying kind. That is why near the end the viewer is shocked stunned and mortified when studboy Bond indicates to Tracy that he wants to settle down with her. I am not going to give it away, but basically the rest of the movie is one stunner after another capped off with a jaw dropping climax. The odd thing about Lazenby's legacy is that Bond is not supposed to want to commit to one woman. Yet, in his one appearance.. Lazenby comes off as a more serious less Playboy-ish Bond.
The first hour of the film wasn't too exciting... basically it's up to Bond to find Blofeld and he parlays Draco's interest in making him his son in law into an opportunity to find him in his Swiss hideaway located way atop a mountain reachable only by ski lift which means the escape can only be done by thrilling incredible downhill ski sequences. As a big fan of Winter Olympic Ski Jumping these shots were incredible as Bond tries to escape the bad guys, The cameras were actually held by a man who was hanging suspended in mid air while flown high atop the mountains in a helicopter!!
Bond manages to infiltrate Blofeld's mountain retreat... the place is supposed to be an allergy research facility. And even though Bond manages to sneak up there posing as a genealogy researcher, Bond has those Bond hormones, and the research subjects turn out to be an international bevy of amazingly hot babes. The women, each from a different country have been "programmed" to release the virus. They get their final instructions while under hypnosis on Christmas Eve!
Speaking of Christmas Eve.. if you are Jewish.. and looking for something to do on Christmas Eve... here is a great solution to that annual "What the heck can a Jew do on Christmas Eve?" dilemma. My temple.. the same one where I met Trophy Wife 6 years ago, is hosting an event at The East Brunswick Jewish Center. It's a concert by Popular Singer Avi Maza and his fantastic band!.. We went last year and had a blast.. This year Maza will be doing "The Great American Songbook"....which is a playlist of popular music by Jewish artists. More details are at his website. The 40 at the door/36 in advance price includes a Glatt Kosher Chinese Buffet.. which means it's all you can eat.. and frankly I've been starving myself since Thanksgiving! I'm volunteering on the committee this year.. it has been so much fun and we are really psyched for the show... plus there will still be plenty of time to get home to watch A Christmas Story Marathon which drives Trophy Wife up a wall because I keep yelling out "Fragilee? It Must Be Italian!"
Getting back to the movie, Lazenby's Bond is more competent than Connery's Bond was in Goldfinger... hormones are hormones and Bond can't resist his attempts to sneak out of his room and into the rooms of the chickies. That is ultimately his downfall however as Blofield catches him and "outs" him as 007. One thing I didnt know at the time I saw this was that Blofeld had met Bond in a prior movie.. but the movie release orders were switched around and since OHMSS was based very closely on the OHMSS book, the book's readers saw this as their first meeting.. but the movie viewers were scratching their heads at how Blofield didn't recognize the undercover Bond the first time he introduced himself as his alter ego.
I must admit I liked the acting, but like Bowfinger, despite some great casting.. I thought the story was just blah. I actually like Lazenby.. And Telly Savalas did his usual excellent job. The musical score was very well done. The cinematography was breathtaking... especially the ski races during the great escape from the mountain resort. A car chase involving an icy demolition derby was also entertaining to watch. But even though the Savalas storyline was exciting.. the first half was torturously slow...not quite waterboarding torture though and only worthy of one bladder.. but once Telly Savalas shows up... the pace and quality picked up considerably.... the rest is approximately a 3.5 bladder.. Therefore on a scale of one to four bladders... meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom....On Her Majesty's Secrest Service gets 2 1/2 bladders.
NEXT ---> Octopussy Starring Roger Moore.
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK - Last week Pumpy went against the Giants and took a loss dropping his record to 10-3. This week in honor of the now unemployed illegal immigrants who used to work for Mitt Romney we travel to New England where the Patriots host the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Pats are 10 1/2 point faves. Sayeth The Pump: "Since this week's theme is James Bond and the fifth Bond was Pierce Brosnan... I gotta go with The Steelers since Brosnan used to be on Remington Steele. Plus I shaved with a Remington Razor this morning.
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Last week we had our first 3-0 week improving to 20-17-2. By the way... about The Sunday Night Game... Is NBC doing some subliminal seduction? The players wear helmets manufactured by Ridell and the 11 o'clock post game newscast is anchored by Carol Ann.... Riddell! And if you're like me and watch her in HD.... homina homina homina.
Giants 3 doggies to PHILADELPHIA - Isn't it interesting how The Giants are road dogs to the Eagles, but were road faves over The Bears? Take Big Blue as they inch closer to a playoff berth!
Cards 7 doggies to SEATTLE - Who does a Giant fan root for? The Cards to get knocked out, or potential first round opponent Seattle to stumble to the finish line. I think Arizona will lose but cover.
49ERS 9 doggies to Minnesota - Wow.. 3 road doggies in one week... The Vikings look like they could be the 2nd wild card team.... but this week they will eat humble pie in a big upset.
CLIP OF THE WEEK;
This week we go to Kean-ascope Theater for a look back at the very moment I found out that Jacks in France are called Valet. This is from a cable restaurant show I used to do called "The Big Tippers Club".
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Peace In The Middle East? Wouldn't That Be Dyno-Mite?
One of the interesting things I find about being exposed to Republicans is how they are so eager to force their right wing conservative living lifestyle on other people without even taking the time to comprehend what kind of life these people really lead. Mitt Romney told us with a straight face during the CNN You Tube debate that 2 parent households will solve black on black crime! The other day in a conversation about the shooting at that drug den in Roselle, a Republican implied that his limited exposure to the poor black community is watching Good Times on TV Land. The thing that always struck me odd about that show was the studio audience would sit there in such eager anticipation just waiting to hear Jimmie Walker yell out Dyn-o-mite! We were so wild and crazy back in the 70s, weren't we?
That's why today I want to talk about Israel.
This week in Annapolis MD they have had their little peace treaty talks, and as a right winger I really have a hard time feeling sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinians.... almost like the Republicans look at issues that affect the poor. Nonetheless, I always get turned off by the liberal Jews (not DAS though.. he claims to be a liberal, but despite what he says... he really isn't!). In 2002, shortly after the last summit where Arafat was chased down a parking lot by a high heeled Madeline Albright after he yet again totally sold the Palestinians down the river, a liberal was meowing to me about how rough it is for the Palestinians.. and I pointed out that Arafat ruined it for them because they were starting to get more economic power and were building casinos and becoming entrepeneurs yet their own people screwed them over.. He kept going on and on and on, and frankly his Jewish guilt bored me and I started daydreaming about Janet Jackson and how she came a long way since she played Penny on Good Times. I could never understand why these self hating Jews have so much compassion for people who elected Ismail Haniyeh the Hamas leader whose exact quote about Annapolis was that his people "will reject any concessions to The Zionist enemy". Now that's a great soundbite during peace talks.
Keep in mind that in 1948 after Israel took over from British rule, all these arabs got little text messages on their cell phones to vacate the premises because of an imminent attack. Then when Israel successfully defended themselves against the attack, all the Arabs wanted to come home. Not necessarily because they wanted to live in Israel, but because they can get a better lifestyle living there than they would get living anywhere else in the Middle East. Just check out the Palestinian elections.. they live in poverty while these Arafat clones show off how rich they are. A government run by a comatose Ariel Sharon would give these people a better lifestyle than they get right now. But when they plot against the government and commit treason... then you have a major problem; yet the liberals feel that Israel should do more.
One troubling aspect of this is the notion of freeing Palestinian terrorists who are in Prison. This has created an odd reaction among some right wingers who have compared the value of the lives of those prisoners' victims to Former Prime Minister Rabin with the call that if those prisoners should be freed... Rabin assassin Yigal Amir should be freed too. As much as I couldnt stand Rabin, there was no reason to kill the guy, and freeing Amir would send a very dangerous lesson to other nutjobs.
And one other thing, after Rabin was assassinated, they held a memorial service for him at Madison Square Garden. At that service Shimon Peres issued a very troubling quote triggering a "Watcha talking about Willis" moment just like when Arnold caught Willis in the middle of doing it with his girlfriend Charlene who was played by Janet Jackson. The quote was "There is an old saying To the Victor Go the Spoils.. but in Israel we give back the Spoils". My question is why and why is that not good enough for those wacky liberals? A peace treaty would be nice.. other Israel neighbors have signed them because they know they can't defeat the Israeli military so if you can't beat 'em.... why not get a good photo op?
Another guy I can't stand is Al Sharpton. And don't get my last week comments wrong, I feel bad for that teenage kid who was shot in that Roselle drug den recently. I also think that the cops that patrol there are heroes... and I am willing to give his mom's emotionally charged anti Roselle cop comments carte blanche since it must be excruciating to see her kid in a hospital injured from a gunshot wound. But what bothers me is The Sharptons who twist her raw emotions and start marching through Roselle trying to get a hero cop fired. And let's see these cop protestors walk a mile in a cop's shoes putting their lives on the line every day they go to work. The cop's Chief witnessed the incident and said the shooting was accidental... so whose word are we going to take? The cops or a kid caught red handed in a place he shouldn't have been. And I don't doubt his mom who says he has never done drugs.. that is likely to be true... but every drug consumer always has his first time. And it is the hero cops who patrol there on a daily basis who try to keep these kids from breaking their proverbial drug cherry.
Whatever the case may be, the Good Times Guy and his fellow Republicans are probably more upset that Janet Jackson flashed a nipple at the Super Bowl to fully realize how bad the drug trade affects crime against minorities in our cities. I lived in Roselle for 30 years and that neighborhood where the shooting happened has gone down the tubes over the years. If it wasn't for hero cops who fight the drug dealers, the place would be even worse. But instead of making the cops the bad guys, The Sharpton crew should focus on the drug dealers who are the real villians here, dangling promises of fast cars and fancy bling in front of young poor black kids. Every time Sharpton marches against Hero cops... he scores more points for the drug dealers.
By the way, as much as I hate him.. .like Rabin he doesn't deserve to be physically harmed, but unfortunately there are too many wackos out there causing Sharpton to travel with a strong security entourage. Why doesn't Sharpton just stay home........ .. and send his security detail to Roselle so they can patrol the drug dens instead?
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
Last week our friend Barry who is a fan of all things Boston laughed at Pumpie's picking against the Patriots. They didn't cover, so Pumpie's record improved to 10-2. This week, in honor of the Broadway strike coming to an end... its the New York Giants-Chicago Bears game for The Wise One. The Giants are 1 1/2 point faves. Sayeth The Pump: "I just saw the story in Sudan about the nutjobs who want to behead the teacher who allowed her students to name a Teddy Bear Mohammed. Therefore to show my support for the teacher AND the bear.... I pick the Bears!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We went 1-2 last week after the Giants let us down and we dared to pick against Pumpstradamus to get back to .500 at 17-17-2.
Giants 1 1/2 faves over THE BEARS - Wow... that's disrespecting the Bears... and it's time for The Giants to seperate themsevles from the pack. This could be a huge step to securing a Wild Card if the Giants can pull it off.
Bills 5 1/2 doggies over WASHINGTON - Continuing our trend of picking road teams... this is a tough pick since the Redskins have been through a very difficult week. But that is a pretty big spread and the AFC teams are pretty good.
MINNESOTA 3 1/2 faves over Detroit - A Detroit loss combined with a Giant win would give The Giants a 2 game lead over the other Wild Card teams with 4 weeks to go.
That's why today I want to talk about Israel.
This week in Annapolis MD they have had their little peace treaty talks, and as a right winger I really have a hard time feeling sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinians.... almost like the Republicans look at issues that affect the poor. Nonetheless, I always get turned off by the liberal Jews (not DAS though.. he claims to be a liberal, but despite what he says... he really isn't!). In 2002, shortly after the last summit where Arafat was chased down a parking lot by a high heeled Madeline Albright after he yet again totally sold the Palestinians down the river, a liberal was meowing to me about how rough it is for the Palestinians.. and I pointed out that Arafat ruined it for them because they were starting to get more economic power and were building casinos and becoming entrepeneurs yet their own people screwed them over.. He kept going on and on and on, and frankly his Jewish guilt bored me and I started daydreaming about Janet Jackson and how she came a long way since she played Penny on Good Times. I could never understand why these self hating Jews have so much compassion for people who elected Ismail Haniyeh the Hamas leader whose exact quote about Annapolis was that his people "will reject any concessions to The Zionist enemy". Now that's a great soundbite during peace talks.
Keep in mind that in 1948 after Israel took over from British rule, all these arabs got little text messages on their cell phones to vacate the premises because of an imminent attack. Then when Israel successfully defended themselves against the attack, all the Arabs wanted to come home. Not necessarily because they wanted to live in Israel, but because they can get a better lifestyle living there than they would get living anywhere else in the Middle East. Just check out the Palestinian elections.. they live in poverty while these Arafat clones show off how rich they are. A government run by a comatose Ariel Sharon would give these people a better lifestyle than they get right now. But when they plot against the government and commit treason... then you have a major problem; yet the liberals feel that Israel should do more.
One troubling aspect of this is the notion of freeing Palestinian terrorists who are in Prison. This has created an odd reaction among some right wingers who have compared the value of the lives of those prisoners' victims to Former Prime Minister Rabin with the call that if those prisoners should be freed... Rabin assassin Yigal Amir should be freed too. As much as I couldnt stand Rabin, there was no reason to kill the guy, and freeing Amir would send a very dangerous lesson to other nutjobs.
And one other thing, after Rabin was assassinated, they held a memorial service for him at Madison Square Garden. At that service Shimon Peres issued a very troubling quote triggering a "Watcha talking about Willis" moment just like when Arnold caught Willis in the middle of doing it with his girlfriend Charlene who was played by Janet Jackson. The quote was "There is an old saying To the Victor Go the Spoils.. but in Israel we give back the Spoils". My question is why and why is that not good enough for those wacky liberals? A peace treaty would be nice.. other Israel neighbors have signed them because they know they can't defeat the Israeli military so if you can't beat 'em.... why not get a good photo op?
Another guy I can't stand is Al Sharpton. And don't get my last week comments wrong, I feel bad for that teenage kid who was shot in that Roselle drug den recently. I also think that the cops that patrol there are heroes... and I am willing to give his mom's emotionally charged anti Roselle cop comments carte blanche since it must be excruciating to see her kid in a hospital injured from a gunshot wound. But what bothers me is The Sharptons who twist her raw emotions and start marching through Roselle trying to get a hero cop fired. And let's see these cop protestors walk a mile in a cop's shoes putting their lives on the line every day they go to work. The cop's Chief witnessed the incident and said the shooting was accidental... so whose word are we going to take? The cops or a kid caught red handed in a place he shouldn't have been. And I don't doubt his mom who says he has never done drugs.. that is likely to be true... but every drug consumer always has his first time. And it is the hero cops who patrol there on a daily basis who try to keep these kids from breaking their proverbial drug cherry.
Whatever the case may be, the Good Times Guy and his fellow Republicans are probably more upset that Janet Jackson flashed a nipple at the Super Bowl to fully realize how bad the drug trade affects crime against minorities in our cities. I lived in Roselle for 30 years and that neighborhood where the shooting happened has gone down the tubes over the years. If it wasn't for hero cops who fight the drug dealers, the place would be even worse. But instead of making the cops the bad guys, The Sharpton crew should focus on the drug dealers who are the real villians here, dangling promises of fast cars and fancy bling in front of young poor black kids. Every time Sharpton marches against Hero cops... he scores more points for the drug dealers.
By the way, as much as I hate him.. .like Rabin he doesn't deserve to be physically harmed, but unfortunately there are too many wackos out there causing Sharpton to travel with a strong security entourage. Why doesn't Sharpton just stay home........ .. and send his security detail to Roselle so they can patrol the drug dens instead?
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
Last week our friend Barry who is a fan of all things Boston laughed at Pumpie's picking against the Patriots. They didn't cover, so Pumpie's record improved to 10-2. This week, in honor of the Broadway strike coming to an end... its the New York Giants-Chicago Bears game for The Wise One. The Giants are 1 1/2 point faves. Sayeth The Pump: "I just saw the story in Sudan about the nutjobs who want to behead the teacher who allowed her students to name a Teddy Bear Mohammed. Therefore to show my support for the teacher AND the bear.... I pick the Bears!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We went 1-2 last week after the Giants let us down and we dared to pick against Pumpstradamus to get back to .500 at 17-17-2.
Giants 1 1/2 faves over THE BEARS - Wow... that's disrespecting the Bears... and it's time for The Giants to seperate themsevles from the pack. This could be a huge step to securing a Wild Card if the Giants can pull it off.
Bills 5 1/2 doggies over WASHINGTON - Continuing our trend of picking road teams... this is a tough pick since the Redskins have been through a very difficult week. But that is a pretty big spread and the AFC teams are pretty good.
MINNESOTA 3 1/2 faves over Detroit - A Detroit loss combined with a Giant win would give The Giants a 2 game lead over the other Wild Card teams with 4 weeks to go.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Year End Award Predictions -and Great Topics for Turkey Day Small Talk!
Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!
It seems like each year the Time Life Empire announces its yearly awards earlier and earlier.. that means we have to bump up our annual predictions. Each year Time announces its Person of the Year.... Sports Illustrated has its Sportsman of the Year, and Entertainment Weekly has its Entertainer of the Year.
Today, we present our annual picks so let's start with Entertainer of the Year....
TMZ and Harvey Levin.
The wacky website/TV show has brought Big Brother into the 21st century. Thanks to the new technology allowing stuff to be shot on cell phones and immediately uploaded to the web, all kinds of crazy stuff has been popping up on YouTube. Just go to their home page and check out "videos being watched right now".. I never knew how weird women can be, and the stuff they put online. Jeepers!! But anyway, the crazy TMZ camera crews follow celebrities around so often, they are often cited on CNN and other news channels as the source of breaking news video. Where the Smoking Gun.com was the website for legal breaking news.. TMZ is the place to go for all things Hollywood. The site was founded by Harvey Levin, a nice Jewish lawyer who was the OJ Simpson reporter on Channel 2 in the 90's, and still has that easy gig as the "man on the street" reporter for The People's Court. Here in the NY Metropolitan Area, the TMZ Nightly News Show airs at 6:30 opposite the network evening newscasts; I wouldn't be surprised if it has taken a major bite out of their ratings.
Sportsman of the Year... is a little tougher... 2 immediately come to mind.
Coach Stringer and the Rutgers Women's Team - They made it all the way to the NCAA Women's Championship before losing. Unfortunately for them, Don Imus took note of the fact that the players weren't hot babes and the next thing you know a fundraiser for kids with cancer got ruined by the evil Al Sharpton. Nonetheless, Stringer and the team handled the situation with class and that class is more important than athletic ability when SI makes its pick, so you would think that the Ladies down the street at Rutgers would definitelty be frontrunners. The best thing to come of all this - WABC hired the I-Man and canned that shmuck Ron Kuby. Kuby and Sharpton are two of my least favorite people - along with Louis Farrakhan who still hasn't died yet...(he's been in my death pool for the last few years)... Sharpton will be back in the headlines again since Tawana Brawley's family inexplicably wants to reopen the case involving her daughter's rape accusation hoax that catapulted Sharpton into the headlines as an absolute fraud who embraces a case before knowing the facts.
Speaking of which... did you see what happened to the teenager in Roselle who was shot when a cop's gun went off. The cop was investigating a drug den when this kid pops out from out of nowhere in an alley, started to run, and refused to surrender. The cop drew his weapon and it accidentally fired and hit the kid. Now the mother of the kid comes out and says the kid didn't break the law by running from police, since he was scared his mother would yell at him for being out late at night! No, it's not ok to run from a cop! Brave cops have a tough enough job as it is, and when a cop tells you to stop... you do it immediately! I am so sick and tired of all these people who constantly criticize police... when all cops do is put their lives at risk every single day. Now the kid's mom comes out, holds a press conference criticizing the Roselle Police and shows off all the kid's sports medals. Why don't we hold a press conference for all the medals this brave cop has won during his years of service? One thing I am thankful for today... besides Trophy Wife.. is the Cops who make our streets safe! Thank you! Also kudos to the Hoboken SWAT Team who should be reinstated! Next time there's a hostage situation, all they need to do is toss in some Hooters Babes and everybody can go home happy.
Another Sportsman contender is Alex Rodridguez. ARod had a fantastic year at the plate and won the MVP despite being a constant target of tabloid fodder.. between being caught hanging out on the road with a go go dancer and his wife's incredibly vulgar shirt at a Yankee game... By the way, security at a sporting event should ban anyone who has an obscenity on their t shirt from enterting an event that contains little eyes that can read messages involving the seven words not allowed on TV. A Rod almost singlehandedly carried the Yankees from early season mediocrity to a wild card spot, and this was during a season that the true pre 2007 Yankee MVP Mariano Rivera had somewhat of an off year. Once ARod opted out of his Yankee deal....during the final game of the World Series, it stole the spotlight away from the Red Sox run to the championship. It also reinforced the belief that an ARod less Yankee team would fall farther away from the Red Sox in the American Leagues pecking order. Now that ARod is coming back for a run to the homerun record, he singlehandedly makes things look to be ok in Yankee land once again.
But the Sportsman of the Year really oughta be...
The University of Florida Athletic Department - They won the NCAA Basketball and Football Championships. What more can a team do?? Heck, the basketball team has won 2 consecutive championships! Kudos to Athletic Director Jeremy Foley for doing an absolutely fantastic job!
Person of the Year....
Offhand, I think Steve Jobs did a remarkable job playing the hype game by introducing the Iphone to the marketplace,. I was actually bummed when a co-worker got one, because I wanted to be the first one in the office to have the gadget. And once they come out with an Iphone that has a video camera, I will buy one myself so I too can shoot video for TMZ. Well, maybe not, but the notion of having all your gadgets in one works for me.. until of course the battery dies or the device breaks, and then you are left with nothing. My cell phone I bought in Summer of '06, the Samsung SGH-d9807 (see the July 6, 2006 column) has an mp3 player, but it is a royal pain in the neck to load the music. It seems that the I-phone resolved that issue. The commericals are quite catchy too, and it's always good to see Bill Gates not getting all the attention since he is so rich because every idea he ever came up with was stolen from Apple.. but that's besides the point.
However, when all is said and done... I predict that the TIme Magazine Person of the Year will be...
Hillary Clinton.
As much as I don't like her, America might be on the verge of history with our first Female President. Or we might have our first Black President. I wasn't too thrilled with Obama's defense of Eliot Spitzer's illegal alien license plan at the CNN debate after Hillary wisely came to her senses about how absurd it is that our tax money provide services to them. Unfortunately a lot of backwards voters wouldn't vote for a black man even if he pulled them out of a burning building. Nonetheless, Hillary has been the front runner.. she has a great political coach, being married to the Best President since the Pre Nixon era (that's as far back as I can remember) And being the rabbit in the pack has brought her a lot of attention.... Geraldine Ferraro would have been one heartbeat away had things gone differently back in 1984.. but Hillary has shown us that you may not need a shmeckle to hold down the office as President of the USA. The White House intern thong marketing might radically change (or might not according to some).. but face it... America might be in for a big change in terms of Women in Power. Therefore. Hillary's domination of the headlines makes her my pick for Person of the Year.
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
This week, in honor of Thanksgiving, Pocahantosdamus goes to New England for the big Patriots Eagles showdown... with the Patriots favored by 22! Last week he lost for just the 2nd time when the Bears let him down dropping to a still incredible 9-2. Sayeth the Pump: "On this Thanksgiving Yom Tov (or Yum Tov), I'm reminded that Benjamin Franklin once proposed that the turkey be made the national bird of the United States....: but the bald eagle won, and so, i'm going with the Eagles!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK
Last week we went 2-0-1 to get a winning record at 16-15-2! Here are this week's picks: This week's games feature 2 rather unusual, almost historic point spreads
GIANTS 7 faves over Minnesota - Are the gate D hijinks going on at Giants games too? This is a good chance for the Giants not to fall into a lull since they have a good shot at the Wild Card.. but there are a few teams 2 games back who are licking their chops.
San Fransisco 10 1/2 doggies over ARIZONA - The Cards go into Week 11 just one game out of a wild card spot and they are double digit favorites! When was the last time that happened?? Too much to cover.. Take the Niners,
NEW ENGLAND 22 over Philly - When was the last time an NFL team was favored by 22? I thought this was a lock, but now that I see Pumpy is going with Philly, I am just a tad nervous!
CLIP OF THE WEEK:
Last week we mentioned Box in a Box. Here it is:
It seems like each year the Time Life Empire announces its yearly awards earlier and earlier.. that means we have to bump up our annual predictions. Each year Time announces its Person of the Year.... Sports Illustrated has its Sportsman of the Year, and Entertainment Weekly has its Entertainer of the Year.
Today, we present our annual picks so let's start with Entertainer of the Year....
TMZ and Harvey Levin.
The wacky website/TV show has brought Big Brother into the 21st century. Thanks to the new technology allowing stuff to be shot on cell phones and immediately uploaded to the web, all kinds of crazy stuff has been popping up on YouTube. Just go to their home page and check out "videos being watched right now".. I never knew how weird women can be, and the stuff they put online. Jeepers!! But anyway, the crazy TMZ camera crews follow celebrities around so often, they are often cited on CNN and other news channels as the source of breaking news video. Where the Smoking Gun.com was the website for legal breaking news.. TMZ is the place to go for all things Hollywood. The site was founded by Harvey Levin, a nice Jewish lawyer who was the OJ Simpson reporter on Channel 2 in the 90's, and still has that easy gig as the "man on the street" reporter for The People's Court. Here in the NY Metropolitan Area, the TMZ Nightly News Show airs at 6:30 opposite the network evening newscasts; I wouldn't be surprised if it has taken a major bite out of their ratings.
Sportsman of the Year... is a little tougher... 2 immediately come to mind.
Coach Stringer and the Rutgers Women's Team - They made it all the way to the NCAA Women's Championship before losing. Unfortunately for them, Don Imus took note of the fact that the players weren't hot babes and the next thing you know a fundraiser for kids with cancer got ruined by the evil Al Sharpton. Nonetheless, Stringer and the team handled the situation with class and that class is more important than athletic ability when SI makes its pick, so you would think that the Ladies down the street at Rutgers would definitelty be frontrunners. The best thing to come of all this - WABC hired the I-Man and canned that shmuck Ron Kuby. Kuby and Sharpton are two of my least favorite people - along with Louis Farrakhan who still hasn't died yet...(he's been in my death pool for the last few years)... Sharpton will be back in the headlines again since Tawana Brawley's family inexplicably wants to reopen the case involving her daughter's rape accusation hoax that catapulted Sharpton into the headlines as an absolute fraud who embraces a case before knowing the facts.
Speaking of which... did you see what happened to the teenager in Roselle who was shot when a cop's gun went off. The cop was investigating a drug den when this kid pops out from out of nowhere in an alley, started to run, and refused to surrender. The cop drew his weapon and it accidentally fired and hit the kid. Now the mother of the kid comes out and says the kid didn't break the law by running from police, since he was scared his mother would yell at him for being out late at night! No, it's not ok to run from a cop! Brave cops have a tough enough job as it is, and when a cop tells you to stop... you do it immediately! I am so sick and tired of all these people who constantly criticize police... when all cops do is put their lives at risk every single day. Now the kid's mom comes out, holds a press conference criticizing the Roselle Police and shows off all the kid's sports medals. Why don't we hold a press conference for all the medals this brave cop has won during his years of service? One thing I am thankful for today... besides Trophy Wife.. is the Cops who make our streets safe! Thank you! Also kudos to the Hoboken SWAT Team who should be reinstated! Next time there's a hostage situation, all they need to do is toss in some Hooters Babes and everybody can go home happy.
Another Sportsman contender is Alex Rodridguez. ARod had a fantastic year at the plate and won the MVP despite being a constant target of tabloid fodder.. between being caught hanging out on the road with a go go dancer and his wife's incredibly vulgar shirt at a Yankee game... By the way, security at a sporting event should ban anyone who has an obscenity on their t shirt from enterting an event that contains little eyes that can read messages involving the seven words not allowed on TV. A Rod almost singlehandedly carried the Yankees from early season mediocrity to a wild card spot, and this was during a season that the true pre 2007 Yankee MVP Mariano Rivera had somewhat of an off year. Once ARod opted out of his Yankee deal....during the final game of the World Series, it stole the spotlight away from the Red Sox run to the championship. It also reinforced the belief that an ARod less Yankee team would fall farther away from the Red Sox in the American Leagues pecking order. Now that ARod is coming back for a run to the homerun record, he singlehandedly makes things look to be ok in Yankee land once again.
But the Sportsman of the Year really oughta be...
The University of Florida Athletic Department - They won the NCAA Basketball and Football Championships. What more can a team do?? Heck, the basketball team has won 2 consecutive championships! Kudos to Athletic Director Jeremy Foley for doing an absolutely fantastic job!
Person of the Year....
Offhand, I think Steve Jobs did a remarkable job playing the hype game by introducing the Iphone to the marketplace,. I was actually bummed when a co-worker got one, because I wanted to be the first one in the office to have the gadget. And once they come out with an Iphone that has a video camera, I will buy one myself so I too can shoot video for TMZ. Well, maybe not, but the notion of having all your gadgets in one works for me.. until of course the battery dies or the device breaks, and then you are left with nothing. My cell phone I bought in Summer of '06, the Samsung SGH-d9807 (see the July 6, 2006 column) has an mp3 player, but it is a royal pain in the neck to load the music. It seems that the I-phone resolved that issue. The commericals are quite catchy too, and it's always good to see Bill Gates not getting all the attention since he is so rich because every idea he ever came up with was stolen from Apple.. but that's besides the point.
However, when all is said and done... I predict that the TIme Magazine Person of the Year will be...
Hillary Clinton.
As much as I don't like her, America might be on the verge of history with our first Female President. Or we might have our first Black President. I wasn't too thrilled with Obama's defense of Eliot Spitzer's illegal alien license plan at the CNN debate after Hillary wisely came to her senses about how absurd it is that our tax money provide services to them. Unfortunately a lot of backwards voters wouldn't vote for a black man even if he pulled them out of a burning building. Nonetheless, Hillary has been the front runner.. she has a great political coach, being married to the Best President since the Pre Nixon era (that's as far back as I can remember) And being the rabbit in the pack has brought her a lot of attention.... Geraldine Ferraro would have been one heartbeat away had things gone differently back in 1984.. but Hillary has shown us that you may not need a shmeckle to hold down the office as President of the USA. The White House intern thong marketing might radically change (or might not according to some).. but face it... America might be in for a big change in terms of Women in Power. Therefore. Hillary's domination of the headlines makes her my pick for Person of the Year.
PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK
This week, in honor of Thanksgiving, Pocahantosdamus goes to New England for the big Patriots Eagles showdown... with the Patriots favored by 22! Last week he lost for just the 2nd time when the Bears let him down dropping to a still incredible 9-2. Sayeth the Pump: "On this Thanksgiving Yom Tov (or Yum Tov), I'm reminded that Benjamin Franklin once proposed that the turkey be made the national bird of the United States....: but the bald eagle won, and so, i'm going with the Eagles!"
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK
Last week we went 2-0-1 to get a winning record at 16-15-2! Here are this week's picks: This week's games feature 2 rather unusual, almost historic point spreads
GIANTS 7 faves over Minnesota - Are the gate D hijinks going on at Giants games too? This is a good chance for the Giants not to fall into a lull since they have a good shot at the Wild Card.. but there are a few teams 2 games back who are licking their chops.
San Fransisco 10 1/2 doggies over ARIZONA - The Cards go into Week 11 just one game out of a wild card spot and they are double digit favorites! When was the last time that happened?? Too much to cover.. Take the Niners,
NEW ENGLAND 22 over Philly - When was the last time an NFL team was favored by 22? I thought this was a lock, but now that I see Pumpy is going with Philly, I am just a tad nervous!
CLIP OF THE WEEK:
Last week we mentioned Box in a Box. Here it is:
Friday, November 16, 2007
I Still Love My Fellow Democrats, But...
Well here we go... Year Number 3 of NWOW.
There's a lot going on besides the fact that Greta Van Susteren's fascination 2 weeks ago with the newly missing Laci Peterson rhyming Stacy Peterson has now evolved into a huge national story! I don't know if this would have caught as much attention from Day One unless her name was Simpson. Let's hope she just ran away and is alive and well somewhere. This reminds me of my Radio Days in the early 1990s when a local woman disappeared under mysterious circumstances. I bet my belching news director that the woman had met with some foul play, but amazingly enough she had just run off to take some time away from her family and returned some time later. About a week after her return, my eyeballs popped out of my head while on the air with onetime Blogging Superstar DangerSpouse when the winner of a live call in trivia contest was none other than the woman who had just disappeared! She must have been brushing up on her Moops edition of Trivial Pursuit.
The other big news this week is NY Governor Eliot Spitzer smartly did a 180 and decided against that silly idea to give illegal immigrants Drivers Licenses. And just in time too apparently, as Hillary Clinton's front runner status is causing her opponents to put a big fat bullseye on her back with her original support of Spitzer being the arrows. Obama is still hedging on what should be a non issue, but on the Wolf Blitzer CNN debate Hillary spoke out against it. (Speaking of the CNN debate - Suzanne Malveuax - va va voom!) I don't know what Spitzer was thinking.. the only driving the illegals should be doing is back to the border on a Greyhound bus with a one way ticket. My dad was an immigrant... a legal one... and he did an almost unheard of thing when he moved here.. He learned English! I used to do seminars for job hunters back in 2003 and one thing I discovered was that some people are discriminated in the workplace because they can't speak Spanish. Why is our work force catering to these people who steadfastly refuse to learn the language?? Incidentally I suggested doing exactly the opposite in my 12/18/05 column.. but that was just for one specific type of situation.
NY is also apparently strike headquarters as the Broadway stagehands and TV Writers continue to picket on. I am not too sympathetic to the crew people who want contracts stating that a minimum number of stagehands be hired for each show regardless of whether those stagehands are necessary for that particular production. And TV Writers want more shekels in a long term deal involving new media such as the internet. DVD profit sharing? I am all for that.. but how can you predict money making opportunities on web platforms over a long period of time. I watch some shows online... are they making any money on those 30 second spots when most of us usually just go to another tab to check email, or fantasy teams, etc. I just hope they get back to work soon.. Those rumors that Family Guy will continue without genius Seth McFarlane make my tummy hurt.
This week's column marks a historical first for NWOW. I had to scrap my original column and start from scratch at the last moment! I had already written a whole article about an upcoming report I was preparing at The Mortgage Podcast concerning a new bill being proposed by Congressman Barney Frank. The Mortgage Reform and Anti Predatory Lending Act of 2007 has some good ideas but one particularly troubling aspect of it was just removed on Wednesday. That part of the bill was basically going to mean the end of mortgage brokers as we know it since it would require that loans could only be offered if the closing costs are not financed into the loan. Yep that means you would have to bring cold hard cash to your closing to pay all the fees if you refinance a loan. Luckily, a lot of mortgage brokers are able to get clients lower closing costs since Banks pay us a fee called yield spread. However, for some reason the original version of the bill barred brokers from collecting Yield Spread too! Wisely enough, cooler heads prevailed and future changes to the current laws will allow us to charge lower closing costs by getting paid by the lender and you won't have to bring money to the closing to pay your fees!
However, I don't know if even Superman could solve this problem since the whole mortgage mess really needs to be looked at on a case by case basis. But as much as Frank might seem to think that mortgage brokers created this crisis, there is blame to spread among all parties. A lot of people buy houses that they can't afford when in reality they should have bought something smaller. I'm in the trenches every day and I see these credit reports, and frankly I have seen a number of cases where people bought homes with no money down, and they were late with their payments, yet had enough money to pay Best Buy for a big screen TV, or for a major landscaping project or some other frivolity when the money should have gone to a mortgage payment. And since a lot of these people bought houses with no money down.. no harm no foul.. they just walk away and lose nothing. You would think it would make sense to eliminate programs for people to buy a house with no money down.
I find it odd that mortgage brokers almost ended up out of work if Frank's bill had gone through unchanged. Let's say Gordon Ramsey the Kitchen Nightmares restarateur has a 4 star establishment that is rather pricey. A customer comes in, orders a nice dinner, and when the check comes, says he can't pay his check because he can't afford it. You would think that this customer should have gone to a less expensive restaurant that he could afford. Well lets say this situation becomes very commonplace. Assuming the prices are clearly disclosed on the menu, would Congressman Frank want to propose legislation that would create federal regulations for how the 4 star restaurant makes its money?
For awhile there, I almost thought I would have get out there and find a different job. And by the way prospective employers - Yo hablo espanol!
PUMPSTRADAMUS NFL PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy rolls on with his incredible hot streak with his Bird Flu pick from last week, improving to an improbable 9-1 and clinching a winning record. This week we go to Chicago where all the media has been camped out following the Peterson story. The Bears travel to Seattle where they are 6 point doggies to the Seahawks. Sayeth the Reading Challenged Pump: "Take the Bears... As the old song goes.. Bears Bears They're Good for Your Heart... The More You Eat...."
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK; Last week we went 2-1 to get to 14-15-1. The run on mediocrity continues - there has never been a winless or undefeated week.
Giants 3 faves over DETROIT - Very gutsy to make the Giants a road fave against a team doing so well at home. Face it - The Giants are 2 behind Dallas with 7 to play and the Cowboys own the tiebreaker. It's a good week for the Giants to send a message to the other 6-3 wild card contender.
Washington 10 1/2 doggies over DALLAS - The Cowboys will drop the wild card contending Redskins down a notch. I think the Skins will cover.
Miami 10 faves over PHILADELPHIA - Just like the London game, the Dolphins will find a way to cover late.. although it would be cool if they got their first win at the Eagle's expense.
CLIP OF THE WEEK - After a week of being critical towards the Democrats, let's not forget how evil Republicans can be. Here is a song about that skank Anne Coulters repulsive anti semitic remarks. It's sung by a woman named Leah Kauffman. This song called "My Box in a Box" is a spoof of the SNL song parody Shmeckle in a Box. By the way, I saw a You Tube clip of Kauffman doing a light hearted chat with Keith Olbermann and she looked more uncomfortable than Drew Peterson when he chatted with Matt Lauer. Smile, lighten up... contact my Media Coaching Pal Jacquie Jordan! Obviously, a slick writer snuck the title past a Jewish News editor who didn't quite catch on what the crass song title meant.
There's a lot going on besides the fact that Greta Van Susteren's fascination 2 weeks ago with the newly missing Laci Peterson rhyming Stacy Peterson has now evolved into a huge national story! I don't know if this would have caught as much attention from Day One unless her name was Simpson. Let's hope she just ran away and is alive and well somewhere. This reminds me of my Radio Days in the early 1990s when a local woman disappeared under mysterious circumstances. I bet my belching news director that the woman had met with some foul play, but amazingly enough she had just run off to take some time away from her family and returned some time later. About a week after her return, my eyeballs popped out of my head while on the air with onetime Blogging Superstar DangerSpouse when the winner of a live call in trivia contest was none other than the woman who had just disappeared! She must have been brushing up on her Moops edition of Trivial Pursuit.
The other big news this week is NY Governor Eliot Spitzer smartly did a 180 and decided against that silly idea to give illegal immigrants Drivers Licenses. And just in time too apparently, as Hillary Clinton's front runner status is causing her opponents to put a big fat bullseye on her back with her original support of Spitzer being the arrows. Obama is still hedging on what should be a non issue, but on the Wolf Blitzer CNN debate Hillary spoke out against it. (Speaking of the CNN debate - Suzanne Malveuax - va va voom!) I don't know what Spitzer was thinking.. the only driving the illegals should be doing is back to the border on a Greyhound bus with a one way ticket. My dad was an immigrant... a legal one... and he did an almost unheard of thing when he moved here.. He learned English! I used to do seminars for job hunters back in 2003 and one thing I discovered was that some people are discriminated in the workplace because they can't speak Spanish. Why is our work force catering to these people who steadfastly refuse to learn the language?? Incidentally I suggested doing exactly the opposite in my 12/18/05 column.. but that was just for one specific type of situation.
NY is also apparently strike headquarters as the Broadway stagehands and TV Writers continue to picket on. I am not too sympathetic to the crew people who want contracts stating that a minimum number of stagehands be hired for each show regardless of whether those stagehands are necessary for that particular production. And TV Writers want more shekels in a long term deal involving new media such as the internet. DVD profit sharing? I am all for that.. but how can you predict money making opportunities on web platforms over a long period of time. I watch some shows online... are they making any money on those 30 second spots when most of us usually just go to another tab to check email, or fantasy teams, etc. I just hope they get back to work soon.. Those rumors that Family Guy will continue without genius Seth McFarlane make my tummy hurt.
This week's column marks a historical first for NWOW. I had to scrap my original column and start from scratch at the last moment! I had already written a whole article about an upcoming report I was preparing at The Mortgage Podcast concerning a new bill being proposed by Congressman Barney Frank. The Mortgage Reform and Anti Predatory Lending Act of 2007 has some good ideas but one particularly troubling aspect of it was just removed on Wednesday. That part of the bill was basically going to mean the end of mortgage brokers as we know it since it would require that loans could only be offered if the closing costs are not financed into the loan. Yep that means you would have to bring cold hard cash to your closing to pay all the fees if you refinance a loan. Luckily, a lot of mortgage brokers are able to get clients lower closing costs since Banks pay us a fee called yield spread. However, for some reason the original version of the bill barred brokers from collecting Yield Spread too! Wisely enough, cooler heads prevailed and future changes to the current laws will allow us to charge lower closing costs by getting paid by the lender and you won't have to bring money to the closing to pay your fees!
However, I don't know if even Superman could solve this problem since the whole mortgage mess really needs to be looked at on a case by case basis. But as much as Frank might seem to think that mortgage brokers created this crisis, there is blame to spread among all parties. A lot of people buy houses that they can't afford when in reality they should have bought something smaller. I'm in the trenches every day and I see these credit reports, and frankly I have seen a number of cases where people bought homes with no money down, and they were late with their payments, yet had enough money to pay Best Buy for a big screen TV, or for a major landscaping project or some other frivolity when the money should have gone to a mortgage payment. And since a lot of these people bought houses with no money down.. no harm no foul.. they just walk away and lose nothing. You would think it would make sense to eliminate programs for people to buy a house with no money down.
I find it odd that mortgage brokers almost ended up out of work if Frank's bill had gone through unchanged. Let's say Gordon Ramsey the Kitchen Nightmares restarateur has a 4 star establishment that is rather pricey. A customer comes in, orders a nice dinner, and when the check comes, says he can't pay his check because he can't afford it. You would think that this customer should have gone to a less expensive restaurant that he could afford. Well lets say this situation becomes very commonplace. Assuming the prices are clearly disclosed on the menu, would Congressman Frank want to propose legislation that would create federal regulations for how the 4 star restaurant makes its money?
For awhile there, I almost thought I would have get out there and find a different job. And by the way prospective employers - Yo hablo espanol!
PUMPSTRADAMUS NFL PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy rolls on with his incredible hot streak with his Bird Flu pick from last week, improving to an improbable 9-1 and clinching a winning record. This week we go to Chicago where all the media has been camped out following the Peterson story. The Bears travel to Seattle where they are 6 point doggies to the Seahawks. Sayeth the Reading Challenged Pump: "Take the Bears... As the old song goes.. Bears Bears They're Good for Your Heart... The More You Eat...."
UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICK OF THE WEEK; Last week we went 2-1 to get to 14-15-1. The run on mediocrity continues - there has never been a winless or undefeated week.
Giants 3 faves over DETROIT - Very gutsy to make the Giants a road fave against a team doing so well at home. Face it - The Giants are 2 behind Dallas with 7 to play and the Cowboys own the tiebreaker. It's a good week for the Giants to send a message to the other 6-3 wild card contender.
Washington 10 1/2 doggies over DALLAS - The Cowboys will drop the wild card contending Redskins down a notch. I think the Skins will cover.
Miami 10 faves over PHILADELPHIA - Just like the London game, the Dolphins will find a way to cover late.. although it would be cool if they got their first win at the Eagle's expense.
CLIP OF THE WEEK - After a week of being critical towards the Democrats, let's not forget how evil Republicans can be. Here is a song about that skank Anne Coulters repulsive anti semitic remarks. It's sung by a woman named Leah Kauffman. This song called "My Box in a Box" is a spoof of the SNL song parody Shmeckle in a Box. By the way, I saw a You Tube clip of Kauffman doing a light hearted chat with Keith Olbermann and she looked more uncomfortable than Drew Peterson when he chatted with Matt Lauer. Smile, lighten up... contact my Media Coaching Pal Jacquie Jordan! Obviously, a slick writer snuck the title past a Jewish News editor who didn't quite catch on what the crass song title meant.
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