Well folks, now that I am somewhat settled in our new home.. and adjusted to our new computer setup since my 2003 relic emachines hard drive went kaput, it is time once again to resume the movie reviews for our Movie Club.
Today we present Part III of our Robert Altman 4-pack (M*A*S*H and Nashville were the first two) The Player is today’s movie and the 4th will be Short Cuts..which I just bought on eBay since no video store stocks it anymore. I decided to do the movies in the order they were made so I was kind of surprised to see an Altman interview on the DVD where he says he decided to cast Tim Robbins after he saw him in “Short Cuts” Huh? I doublechecked and The Player was released first.. so either Short Cuts was filmed first and released second, or Altman’s memory was a bit shaky when the DVD Extras portions were filmed.
This movie is very different than the prior 2 Altman flicks – those were a bunch of characters interacting with no major plot. The Player however has a plot and fewer major characters; yet it has a much larger cast due to a ton of cameo roles by actors who came in and basically did their scenes for free. The DVD extra also has a nifty gallery for the extras where you click on the name and go right to their cameo just in case you missed it during the movie. The extra producers were obviously not fans of The Bob Newhart Show because they identify Jack Riley (Mr Carlin) as another actor.
The plot reminded me of a program I volunteered for 4 years ago that was organized by a friend of mine. She had a lot of cable network execs come out to a program called “Pitch Your Project”. Aspiring reality show producers attended a reality show seminar and then got a few minutes to run their proposal past the very patient cable execs. I don’t know if any of these reality shows got picked up, but one after the other they pitched their idea. I started thinking of this when I saw the movie because Tim Robbins character – Griffin Mill is a bigshot at a movie studio where his job is to listen to people pitch their projects, and his personal life gets a little shaky when one of his rejected Project Pitchers starts to send him threatening postcards.
The first 7 minutes of the movie are a cinematic masterpiece.. mostly adlibbed and all shot off one camera with no takes to a 2nd camera. That means the viewers perspective never changes – there are no edits- and if there is a foul up during the process.. its back to square one to shoot it all over again. This is what is called a tracking shot. Tracking shots have been done in other movies before, but this is the first time that tracking shots in a movie was a topic of conversation during a tracking shot in a movie. They did fifteen takes on that scene.. Among the dialogue improvised was a pitch shot outside through a window where Buck Henry proposes an outrageously bizarre sequel to “The Graduate”. How odd that years later we would get the strange “sequel” Rumor Has It about a young woman played by Jennifer Aniston who realizes that her odd family was the inspiration of the book and movie. Even stranger is the casting of Mena Suvari as her younger sister… she's the same actress who got her start in “American Pie”… the movie that inspired the term MILF where “Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson? was replaced by yelps of "Stiflers Mom!!!”
Here is an amazing tracking shot from the Orson Welles movie "Touch of Evil"... remember there are no second takes and no cutting away...
Besides a rejected project pitcher, Mill has to worry about a new hotshot exec Larry Levy played by Peter Gallagher pre The OC. Mill gets pitched a project and as if it were ripped out of the pages of “The Producers”, the concept of “Habeas Corpus” sounds so awful that he decides to have Levy take charge of it so he can watch the whole thing fall apart. .. and then watch Levy’s career crash. The original idea is pitched by a wide eyed writer who insists his masterpiece, a mumbo jumbo of mistaken identity a DA and the death penalty… your typical Three’s Company episode… have no big name stars and a sad un-Hollywood ending…. Because that is reality! Ultimately, the movie is “tweaked” and you watch the wide eyed writer go from a bright eyed optimist to an even brighter eyed sell out rich man. Its ironic how in the beginning he insists on a low budget film... "NO Schwartzenegger!" he barks to keep the big names out..... which is exactly the same thing star Tim Robbins and wife Susan Sarandon have been yelling outside the California statehouse.
The movie makes a major turn when Mill realizes he can figure out which rejected project pitcher has been threatening him. He tracks his suspect to a movie theater.. and when he confronts him we realize it’s a younger, thinner Vincent D’Onofrio from Law and Order: CI. His character David Kahane hates Mill with a passion and after a night of drinking at a karaoke bar to sort out their differences, they realize that they cant come to any meeting of the minds, and they just don't like each other. Kahane sees Mill as a shmuck and when the confrontation gets physical outside the bar, a life changing moment arrives for both of them that will dog Mill through the rest of the movie. He also ends up putting the shmaneuver on Kahane’s girlfriend (who wears white at a funeral) much to the chagrin of his own girlfriend, co-worker Bonnie Sherow who passionately fights with the movie studio execs to retain the original concept for “Habeas Corpus”.
You can’t help noticing what a weasel Mill really is. He fingers Kahane as the suspect using flawed logic based on movie concepts. The movie itself has plenty of dialogue about twists on basic plot premises and a Polish joke involving what a woman will do to make it in the movies. Mill drives a snazzy car and has a cool 1992 era cell phone.. back when they were called car phones. During his confrontation with Kahane he runs into Kahane taking a pish outside a building. Kahane borrows the car phone and then hands it back to Mill… even though he never washed his hands! Yuck.. I couldn’t get my mind off the germ filled 1992 car phone during the next few minutes. But then again, here we are 15 years later and you can surf the web on your Iphone while sitting on the toilet!
Mill also dines with the power players during the power lunches and hob knobs with Burt Reynolds and other stars. He admonishes a waiter for serving him water in a wine glass and demands to be re-served using the proper glass ware. He later admits he doesn’t drink unless he is with another drinker… while Levy’s character is also sober but goes to AA meetings since that is where a lot of Hollywood business gets conducted! Levy later has a line in the movie about changing water to wine.
There is one scene in the movie that reminded me of a very funny moment in Nashville. The wacky writer agent duo of Tom Oakley and Andy Civella (played by Richard Grant and Quantum Leap’s Dean Stockwell) are chatting with Andie MacDowell at a Hollywood hang out.. Civella refers to her as “his namesake Andie”, and Mill points out how cool it was to see Andie after he had just run into Malcolm McDowell,… prompting aspiring writer Tom to announce his connection to Roddy McDowell! You almost expect the 1986 Astros to come sulking in after Roger McDowell shut them down in Game 6 of the NLCS. The McDowell scene reminded me of the scene in Nashville where the redneck character runs into actress Julie Christie and remarks how ironic it is to see her since he had just recently seen the Christie Minstrels.
One amusing anecdote about the dvd's extras.... I always like to watch the deleted scenes and the outtakes. Since the movie takes place in a movie studio, we see a deleted scene where the actors are watching “the dailies” involving a movie being filmed with Lily Tomlin and Scott Glenn who were both in Nashville. Since it’s a deleted scene you hear the movie director yell action and then the "movie in the movie" director character yell action. Its kind of odd, but then Glenn messes up a line and asks to start over, and makes it a point to request that he have his cameo appearance union check ready so he can leave right after his scene. Lily Tomlin also starts snapping at him and I was starting to think that the actor Glenn was a real shmuck until I realized that this was part of his character and his character had fouled up his line, and it was a deleted scene NOT an outtake. Oops; it was all supposed to be part of the movie. In the extras they actually said that some of the secretaries visiting the set who were watching walked out because they felt uncomfortable seeing Tomlin and Glenn snapping at each other. That same movie within a movie also featured Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis playing themselves.... as they did in "Ocean's 12" in an odd but strangely well done scene where Julia Roberts character actually is able to pull off a heist by pretending she is... Julia Roberts. Kind of like Too Close for Comfort where they had a cameo by "Ted Knight",..... or was that The Mary Tyler Moore Show?? And when was the last time 2 actors played themselves in 2 different movies?
The Player's plot is very enjoyable.. there are a ton of cameos that are not too distracting from the main story and the ending is filled with irony, especially where Mill is pitched a concept that could actually be a movie… The opening shot.. is a visual masterpiece! The musical score is well done. It actually sounds a bit like the Chuck Woolery game show “Greed”. On a scale of one to four bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Player gets three and a half bladders.
Now time for the Clip of the Week: This month WFAN celebrates 20 years on the air.. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was the 3rd caller on the first ever show hosted by Jim Lampley. Ladies and Gentlemen... I got my mitts on the tape and here is how it started that first day.. By the way this was the first time I had heard this since 1987, and to be perfectly honest.. I have no idea what the heck I was talking about! A baseball team in NJ?
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Melanie in Prison is Becoming a Reality
Since yesterday's sentencing of Melanie McG... I have watched with amusement as the people that participate in the CourtTV website bulletin board have been ripping into "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire". Neil has mentioned this on his blog also. A lot of people liked the song.... some that didn't like it presented some valid points. but there were a few morons who refused to listen to the song yet insisted we were poking fun at the victim. The counter showed the video had more than 400 hits on Thursday which means that next time I post a video on You Tube, I'm putting a "Melanie McGuire" tag on it.
I am kind of disappointed that Court TV's moderator took off all the anti-Nate posts.. because frankly I found them incredibly entertaining. Court TV also disappointed the bulletin board posters by shutting the forum for the weekend forcing them to leave their computer screens and go outside to enjoy the nice weather.
If you are not familiar with the Court TV bulletin board, let's put it in some perspective. There are a few people who populate that bulletin board who apparently have nothing better to do than debate some of the more bizarre minutae involved in this story. On Sentencing Day Thursday, some people speculated about whether the prison would give Melanie tampons or maxi pads. Earlier that day a wave of fury erupted on this bulletin board when the participants realized that the sentencing would not be airing on Court TV because of the explosion in Manhattan on Wed. night. Due to environmental concerns involving asbestos, the Court TV building was shut down and they were unable to broadcast the sentencing. It seems that this was not a good enough excuse for some of these people, since many posters felt that technicians should have bypassed the security, and risk their lives to enter the building so they could get their daily Court TV fix. After seeing the horrific after effects of the air pollution caused by 9-11, I guess health risks are not as important as seeing live how many years Melanie would serve. Ultimately, the coverage was picked up on News 12 NJ, causing many out of state board posters to express a desire to live in the Garden State, at least for just one day.
It's interesting how some of the posters talk like they know the family. They have become so immersed with this website that they really think they know these people. With an exception or two, that bulletin board's population did not know the victim. The victim's niece spoke eloquently at the sentencing on Thursday about how she used to make fun of his legs when he would wear shorts. She said that every time she thinks about his legs, she remembers how they were in that waterlogged suitcase. Its not the song that hurts them; its the reminders that hurt them. He may have liked Cherry Garcia ice cream; they might walk through a supermarket and see Cherry Garcia and that would bring back memories. I think he liked the Yankees too... Those reminders are small paper cuts compared to the major wound caused by the death.
Let's set the record straight - The song was not written to make fun of the victim.
The song is about the criminal and her crime.... It has its graphic moments but the crime is graphic. The woman didnt just shoot him in a fit of anger. She meticulously planned out every detail of the "perfect crime". Crimefighters always have to build a better mousetrap because you will always find a smarter mouse. That is why computer firewalls are a multi-million dollar industry. Melanie thought she was a smart mouse. She figured if she chopped her husband up, the suitcases would sink to the bottom of The Chesapeake and people would just assume he walked out on her. She even went as far as to create the perfect crime scene - an unused apartment she was renting. She had just closed on her house - she needed him to be alive on Closing Day since NJ law says both husband and wife must sign the closing papers (and she probably needed his income for the mortgage too), so she knew that once the house was hers, the old apartment would be the perfect crime scene. She would continue to hold it until after she killed him and she would have time to clean it thoroughly. If neighbors know a woman is moving out, they wouldn't think twice about seeing her (and an accomplice) shlepping heavy boxes and suitcases out of her apartment. And as for the accomplice, I hope he sleeps at night with one eye open, because he will probably be the next one to get arrested.
Little did she know that the suitcases would float up to the surface..
Then the preposterous lies started. She called EZ Pass to challenge a fee that put her at the scene of the crime. She told police she was in AC because she was "moving his car to mess with his mind", when in reality she planted the car there to stage his disappearance. Some of the comments she made in her ABC News interview also showed firsthand that she is a pathological liar. She thought she was such a smart little mouse. And when we build better mousetraps, it's important to never forget the clever mice who thought they could get away with it. That's why we fight computer hackers and study murderous dictators who rose to power. Melanie is no Hitler, but she is much worse than a computer hacker.
In retrospect, the song is tacky.... I wouldn't say that its funny... but the way it matches up with the poetry of "Creeque Alley" is definitely quite clever if I may say so myself. Whats the difference it would have been a book or movie about the crime and the criminal? Do you sugar coat the reality of how diabolical and brutal she was?
By the way the posters might be disappointed that Court TV shut the site down for the weekend. They can always post to the Harry Potter bulletin board. I heard the book ends with him at a New Jersey diner ordering onion rings while a woman has difficulty parallel parking.
I am kind of disappointed that Court TV's moderator took off all the anti-Nate posts.. because frankly I found them incredibly entertaining. Court TV also disappointed the bulletin board posters by shutting the forum for the weekend forcing them to leave their computer screens and go outside to enjoy the nice weather.
If you are not familiar with the Court TV bulletin board, let's put it in some perspective. There are a few people who populate that bulletin board who apparently have nothing better to do than debate some of the more bizarre minutae involved in this story. On Sentencing Day Thursday, some people speculated about whether the prison would give Melanie tampons or maxi pads. Earlier that day a wave of fury erupted on this bulletin board when the participants realized that the sentencing would not be airing on Court TV because of the explosion in Manhattan on Wed. night. Due to environmental concerns involving asbestos, the Court TV building was shut down and they were unable to broadcast the sentencing. It seems that this was not a good enough excuse for some of these people, since many posters felt that technicians should have bypassed the security, and risk their lives to enter the building so they could get their daily Court TV fix. After seeing the horrific after effects of the air pollution caused by 9-11, I guess health risks are not as important as seeing live how many years Melanie would serve. Ultimately, the coverage was picked up on News 12 NJ, causing many out of state board posters to express a desire to live in the Garden State, at least for just one day.
It's interesting how some of the posters talk like they know the family. They have become so immersed with this website that they really think they know these people. With an exception or two, that bulletin board's population did not know the victim. The victim's niece spoke eloquently at the sentencing on Thursday about how she used to make fun of his legs when he would wear shorts. She said that every time she thinks about his legs, she remembers how they were in that waterlogged suitcase. Its not the song that hurts them; its the reminders that hurt them. He may have liked Cherry Garcia ice cream; they might walk through a supermarket and see Cherry Garcia and that would bring back memories. I think he liked the Yankees too... Those reminders are small paper cuts compared to the major wound caused by the death.
Let's set the record straight - The song was not written to make fun of the victim.
The song is about the criminal and her crime.... It has its graphic moments but the crime is graphic. The woman didnt just shoot him in a fit of anger. She meticulously planned out every detail of the "perfect crime". Crimefighters always have to build a better mousetrap because you will always find a smarter mouse. That is why computer firewalls are a multi-million dollar industry. Melanie thought she was a smart mouse. She figured if she chopped her husband up, the suitcases would sink to the bottom of The Chesapeake and people would just assume he walked out on her. She even went as far as to create the perfect crime scene - an unused apartment she was renting. She had just closed on her house - she needed him to be alive on Closing Day since NJ law says both husband and wife must sign the closing papers (and she probably needed his income for the mortgage too), so she knew that once the house was hers, the old apartment would be the perfect crime scene. She would continue to hold it until after she killed him and she would have time to clean it thoroughly. If neighbors know a woman is moving out, they wouldn't think twice about seeing her (and an accomplice) shlepping heavy boxes and suitcases out of her apartment. And as for the accomplice, I hope he sleeps at night with one eye open, because he will probably be the next one to get arrested.
Little did she know that the suitcases would float up to the surface..
Then the preposterous lies started. She called EZ Pass to challenge a fee that put her at the scene of the crime. She told police she was in AC because she was "moving his car to mess with his mind", when in reality she planted the car there to stage his disappearance. Some of the comments she made in her ABC News interview also showed firsthand that she is a pathological liar. She thought she was such a smart little mouse. And when we build better mousetraps, it's important to never forget the clever mice who thought they could get away with it. That's why we fight computer hackers and study murderous dictators who rose to power. Melanie is no Hitler, but she is much worse than a computer hacker.
In retrospect, the song is tacky.... I wouldn't say that its funny... but the way it matches up with the poetry of "Creeque Alley" is definitely quite clever if I may say so myself. Whats the difference it would have been a book or movie about the crime and the criminal? Do you sugar coat the reality of how diabolical and brutal she was?
By the way the posters might be disappointed that Court TV shut the site down for the weekend. They can always post to the Harry Potter bulletin board. I heard the book ends with him at a New Jersey diner ordering onion rings while a woman has difficulty parallel parking.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Baseball 2Q: The Lingering After-Effects of McGuire and McGwire
101…. 101…. Seeee Beeeeee Essssssssssssssssssssss FM….
Hey folks CBS-FM is back and if you hit the play button right now you will see that you have 8 seconds to read this before the words start.. … It’s the Mamas and The Papas with Creeque Alley.. Oldies Radio is back in NY!!
It’s great to have CBS-FM back! Now people will get to hear these legendary songs again so they can understand the song parodies!! Today in honor of the return of CBS FM we bring you the video premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”. See the 2 prior Melanie columns in the archives on the left if you are not up to date on what has gone on to this point. Again, apologies to anyone who is offended.. the song was created to portray the incredible evil of Ms. McGuire. Her narcissism is captured in the video in the shot where we address the absurdity of her tale that she went to AC to move her husband's car just to mess with his mind!… How stupid does she think the police and jury are? The sentencing is set for July 19th; an mp3 will be available soon.. and now the Premiere of the video for “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007.
The Giants hosted Tuesdays All Star Game and the San Francisco fans are the only ones who seem to be rooting for Barry Bonds to break Hank Aaron’s home run record. It’s just a matter of time before Hank Aaron’s 30+ year run as Home Run King comes to an end. But legacy-wise, Bonds will forever be linked to another one who shares Melanie’s last name.. Mark McGwire. While Melanie went to Walgreen’s to buy poison, Mark was allegedly stocking up on other stuff.. and both he and Bonds will always be looked at as having padded their power numbers by using muscle enhancing supplements.
McGwire’s former manager Tony LaRussa really came off as being quite the idiot as The National League went down to their 10th consecutive All Star loss.. How does he not send up Albert Pujols, arguably the best player in the game (and McGwire’s replacement as St. Louis Cardinals first baseman) to bat for Aaron Rowand with the bases loaded and 2 out in the 9th inning? The stupid All Star Game rules stipulate that the winner gets home field advantage and La Russa knew full well that his lousy Cardinals weren’t going to be going to The World Series this year.. LaRussa claims that if the game went extra innings he would have been out of bench players. Well as Warner Wolf would say.. “Change The Rule”… I say that if all the players are used during the 9 regulation innings, they should allow the 8 starting position players voted in by the fans to come back into the game! Baseball is the only sport that doesn’t allow a player who leaves the game to come back.. why not make the game more fan friendly.. that way you get all the position players in the game and if it goes late…. the popular ones come right back in for a 2nd time!
This losing streak has gotten really bad…The last time the National League won the game was way back on July 9, 1996. That day the Nationals scored 4 runs in the first 3 innings and shut out the American League 6-0. This current AL winning streak is now 1 short of the National League’s 11 game winning streak from 1972-1982. Now those were the good old days!
I remember as a kid that the National League always featured a Met or 2… and I would always show up to day camp the next day beaming with pride after yet another NL victory. As I mentioned in the June 29 column, I was a counselor at a local day camp in 1982 and I remember that in the morning I would always gather my little Pac Men together to chat for a few minutes as we were getting ready to start the day. I remember asking… how many of the guys in my bunk saw the Game… At that point the previously mentioned kid with the Rather Unusual First Name asked me why I called it a bunk if we were in a day camp. And my literate camper asked me if they allowed free substitution in the All Star Game.. wouldn’t it be anti Paradigmatic? I shook my head and told the kids to get their lanyards ready for Arts and Crafts.. . Incidentally, my buddy Steve tells me that since that June 29th column his friend has signed emails as "The Kid With The Rather Unusual First Name"!
I remember the 1982 game.. it was 25 years ago tom’w on July 13, 1982.. it was played in Olympic Stadium in Montreal… the home of the Expos. The game was also known that year as Partie D’etoiles. Local Expo hero Steve Rogers and Dennis Eckersely were the starters.. My homeboys won the game 4-1 thanks to a spectacular defensive play in the first by Ozzie Smith that saved 2 runs. Smith’s fellow Cardinal Lonnie Smith also made the team.. at least that year Tommy Lasorda had the common sense to play the Cardinals on his team. The AL was managed by Billy Martin.. and if you have been watching that ESPN miniseries.. it’s quite impressive how John Turturro resembles the late Yankee skipper.
Baseball is always looking for a kick in the tuchis and one of the agents.. Scott Boras had an idea about changing the World Series to a best of 9 and having the first 2 games played at a neutral spot and making a whole big showcase out of it like the Super Bowl. That big baseball weekend would also include the Post Season Awards for MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year. I agree except I would keep it as a best of 7 series.. Play games 1 and 2 at the neutral spot to kick off the event.. then give games 3 and 4 to the World Series team with the best record, send the series to the other city for Games 5 and 6 and back to the host city for Game 7. Granted, one team will be on the road for four games and could be swept right out without a home game.. but it might not be a bad idea to create more excitement.
One other point – has any baseball player fallen downhill more dramatically than White Sox Pitcher Jose Contreras? Maybe a trade to the Mets might jump start him out of his slump. Last year at the All Star Break, Contreras had a 17 game winning streak but since then he has gone 9-19! Before this year long slump, his career record was 44-18! I know this because Contreras along with El Duque are both on my rotiserrie baseball team… and both are Cuban defectors. In honor of their adventurous arrival from the land of Castro, I named my team Havana-Gila and my team logo is a hat that says “Uruachim”.
When the season started we presented our picks (see the March 2007 archives) and some of them are right on the money. Some aren’t.
It looks like I’m eating crow on the Red Sox not making the playoffs.. so Im gonna change my pick of the (White) Sox winning their division to the (Red) Sox. I still like the Indians to make the post season…. Probably as division winners and the Angels look like they are the team from the West. Who pray tell will be The Wild Card? Well if the Yankees can pull it off., then I would have 3 of the 4 teams picked correctly from the AL>.. Yankee fans may not want to hear this, but I never get 3 of 4 teams right. My surprise team was the Mariners and they are definite Wild Card contenders, and my pick for Disappointment was the Oriole fans who were buying all the hype.
In the National League it looks I was totally wrong on the Astros,.. they seem too far back at this point… and if anyone can catch the Brewers, it should be the Cubs. After all they have 3 studs in their line up in Alfonso Soirano, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. I’m stunned theyre not in first place, but the Brewers have some great young players and potential MVP Prince Fielder looks to be the Justin Morneau of the Brew Crew. It looks like I missed the boat with Phillies, Astros and D-Backs as division winners.. but in reality, my wild card pick the Mets look like they will pull off the division and Im going with the Phils to win the Wild Card.. I think the Brewers should hold on, and my Dodger pick looks weak now that off season acquisitions Jason Schmidt and Randy Wolf have turned out to be injury prone duds. Chris Young has turned out to be a great pitcher on the Padres (he was the loser in the All Star Game by the way) and Jake Peavy who started the game is also having a great year… They currently rank 1-2 in ERA. If Greg Maddux can pull out a 15 win season yet again.. and fellow old timer David Wells can keep his temper in gear and pitch well, it looks like the Pods are the team. They have also made some shrewd moves by picking up some good spare parts in Milton Bradley and Michael Barrett.
I’m staying with my Mets-Phillies prediction for the NLCS…although common sense would indicate that the Phils probably are not going that far . My preseason surprise pick – The Cubs..they will probably be in the Wild Card race right to the very end. My preseason NL Disappointment team – St. Louis… I think that has turned out to be quite accurate!
My World Series pick.. I’m sticking to my guns.. Indians against the Mets. The only bummer is the Mets will have to travel to Jacobs Field if the series goes 7.
Thank you Tony LaRussa.
Now time for the Bonus Clip of the Week.. continuing our theme this summer of musical geniuses named Neil (Fein and Diamond) … and my Cuban baseball players… and 25 years since the 82 All Star Game.. (Watch for the 25) here is Neil Diamond from The Jazz Singer with his version of….. Hava Nagila!!
Up Next ----> The Movie Club Reviews Come Back!!
Hey folks CBS-FM is back and if you hit the play button right now you will see that you have 8 seconds to read this before the words start.. … It’s the Mamas and The Papas with Creeque Alley.. Oldies Radio is back in NY!!
It’s great to have CBS-FM back! Now people will get to hear these legendary songs again so they can understand the song parodies!! Today in honor of the return of CBS FM we bring you the video premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”. See the 2 prior Melanie columns in the archives on the left if you are not up to date on what has gone on to this point. Again, apologies to anyone who is offended.. the song was created to portray the incredible evil of Ms. McGuire. Her narcissism is captured in the video in the shot where we address the absurdity of her tale that she went to AC to move her husband's car just to mess with his mind!… How stupid does she think the police and jury are? The sentencing is set for July 19th; an mp3 will be available soon.. and now the Premiere of the video for “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007.
The Giants hosted Tuesdays All Star Game and the San Francisco fans are the only ones who seem to be rooting for Barry Bonds to break Hank Aaron’s home run record. It’s just a matter of time before Hank Aaron’s 30+ year run as Home Run King comes to an end. But legacy-wise, Bonds will forever be linked to another one who shares Melanie’s last name.. Mark McGwire. While Melanie went to Walgreen’s to buy poison, Mark was allegedly stocking up on other stuff.. and both he and Bonds will always be looked at as having padded their power numbers by using muscle enhancing supplements.
McGwire’s former manager Tony LaRussa really came off as being quite the idiot as The National League went down to their 10th consecutive All Star loss.. How does he not send up Albert Pujols, arguably the best player in the game (and McGwire’s replacement as St. Louis Cardinals first baseman) to bat for Aaron Rowand with the bases loaded and 2 out in the 9th inning? The stupid All Star Game rules stipulate that the winner gets home field advantage and La Russa knew full well that his lousy Cardinals weren’t going to be going to The World Series this year.. LaRussa claims that if the game went extra innings he would have been out of bench players. Well as Warner Wolf would say.. “Change The Rule”… I say that if all the players are used during the 9 regulation innings, they should allow the 8 starting position players voted in by the fans to come back into the game! Baseball is the only sport that doesn’t allow a player who leaves the game to come back.. why not make the game more fan friendly.. that way you get all the position players in the game and if it goes late…. the popular ones come right back in for a 2nd time!
This losing streak has gotten really bad…The last time the National League won the game was way back on July 9, 1996. That day the Nationals scored 4 runs in the first 3 innings and shut out the American League 6-0. This current AL winning streak is now 1 short of the National League’s 11 game winning streak from 1972-1982. Now those were the good old days!
I remember as a kid that the National League always featured a Met or 2… and I would always show up to day camp the next day beaming with pride after yet another NL victory. As I mentioned in the June 29 column, I was a counselor at a local day camp in 1982 and I remember that in the morning I would always gather my little Pac Men together to chat for a few minutes as we were getting ready to start the day. I remember asking… how many of the guys in my bunk saw the Game… At that point the previously mentioned kid with the Rather Unusual First Name asked me why I called it a bunk if we were in a day camp. And my literate camper asked me if they allowed free substitution in the All Star Game.. wouldn’t it be anti Paradigmatic? I shook my head and told the kids to get their lanyards ready for Arts and Crafts.. . Incidentally, my buddy Steve tells me that since that June 29th column his friend has signed emails as "The Kid With The Rather Unusual First Name"!
I remember the 1982 game.. it was 25 years ago tom’w on July 13, 1982.. it was played in Olympic Stadium in Montreal… the home of the Expos. The game was also known that year as Partie D’etoiles. Local Expo hero Steve Rogers and Dennis Eckersely were the starters.. My homeboys won the game 4-1 thanks to a spectacular defensive play in the first by Ozzie Smith that saved 2 runs. Smith’s fellow Cardinal Lonnie Smith also made the team.. at least that year Tommy Lasorda had the common sense to play the Cardinals on his team. The AL was managed by Billy Martin.. and if you have been watching that ESPN miniseries.. it’s quite impressive how John Turturro resembles the late Yankee skipper.
Baseball is always looking for a kick in the tuchis and one of the agents.. Scott Boras had an idea about changing the World Series to a best of 9 and having the first 2 games played at a neutral spot and making a whole big showcase out of it like the Super Bowl. That big baseball weekend would also include the Post Season Awards for MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year. I agree except I would keep it as a best of 7 series.. Play games 1 and 2 at the neutral spot to kick off the event.. then give games 3 and 4 to the World Series team with the best record, send the series to the other city for Games 5 and 6 and back to the host city for Game 7. Granted, one team will be on the road for four games and could be swept right out without a home game.. but it might not be a bad idea to create more excitement.
One other point – has any baseball player fallen downhill more dramatically than White Sox Pitcher Jose Contreras? Maybe a trade to the Mets might jump start him out of his slump. Last year at the All Star Break, Contreras had a 17 game winning streak but since then he has gone 9-19! Before this year long slump, his career record was 44-18! I know this because Contreras along with El Duque are both on my rotiserrie baseball team… and both are Cuban defectors. In honor of their adventurous arrival from the land of Castro, I named my team Havana-Gila and my team logo is a hat that says “Uruachim”.
When the season started we presented our picks (see the March 2007 archives) and some of them are right on the money. Some aren’t.
It looks like I’m eating crow on the Red Sox not making the playoffs.. so Im gonna change my pick of the (White) Sox winning their division to the (Red) Sox. I still like the Indians to make the post season…. Probably as division winners and the Angels look like they are the team from the West. Who pray tell will be The Wild Card? Well if the Yankees can pull it off., then I would have 3 of the 4 teams picked correctly from the AL>.. Yankee fans may not want to hear this, but I never get 3 of 4 teams right. My surprise team was the Mariners and they are definite Wild Card contenders, and my pick for Disappointment was the Oriole fans who were buying all the hype.
In the National League it looks I was totally wrong on the Astros,.. they seem too far back at this point… and if anyone can catch the Brewers, it should be the Cubs. After all they have 3 studs in their line up in Alfonso Soirano, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. I’m stunned theyre not in first place, but the Brewers have some great young players and potential MVP Prince Fielder looks to be the Justin Morneau of the Brew Crew. It looks like I missed the boat with Phillies, Astros and D-Backs as division winners.. but in reality, my wild card pick the Mets look like they will pull off the division and Im going with the Phils to win the Wild Card.. I think the Brewers should hold on, and my Dodger pick looks weak now that off season acquisitions Jason Schmidt and Randy Wolf have turned out to be injury prone duds. Chris Young has turned out to be a great pitcher on the Padres (he was the loser in the All Star Game by the way) and Jake Peavy who started the game is also having a great year… They currently rank 1-2 in ERA. If Greg Maddux can pull out a 15 win season yet again.. and fellow old timer David Wells can keep his temper in gear and pitch well, it looks like the Pods are the team. They have also made some shrewd moves by picking up some good spare parts in Milton Bradley and Michael Barrett.
I’m staying with my Mets-Phillies prediction for the NLCS…although common sense would indicate that the Phils probably are not going that far . My preseason surprise pick – The Cubs..they will probably be in the Wild Card race right to the very end. My preseason NL Disappointment team – St. Louis… I think that has turned out to be quite accurate!
My World Series pick.. I’m sticking to my guns.. Indians against the Mets. The only bummer is the Mets will have to travel to Jacobs Field if the series goes 7.
Thank you Tony LaRussa.
Now time for the Bonus Clip of the Week.. continuing our theme this summer of musical geniuses named Neil (Fein and Diamond) … and my Cuban baseball players… and 25 years since the 82 All Star Game.. (Watch for the 25) here is Neil Diamond from The Jazz Singer with his version of….. Hava Nagila!!
Up Next ----> The Movie Club Reviews Come Back!!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Thoughts for July 4th – Freedom, FAN, Fun, But No Funky
Hello Folks and welcome to our annual July 4th column.. to see last year’s column.. check out the archives...
Being the son of an immigrant… my dad came over from Europe in 1948 after The Holocaust … July 4th is really Thanksgiving to me... and deserves major celebrations! So today we address some of the Freedoms we get… the Freedom of Speech which allows us to have open newspapers and radio allowing us to speak freely.
TALK RADIO – I don’t agree with a lot of the hosts.,. but in America goofballs like Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh and possibly Ann Coulter are welcome to speak about their views on government… even when they clumsily defend Our Evil President’s disgraceful actions involving his partner in crime Scooter Libby. Inflammatory speech however is not part of the freedoms allowed in freedom of speech so I’m not too sure someone like Coulter should be allowed to flap her yapper especially with her horrible comments about the 9-11 widows and Presidential contender John Edwards.
Talk radio makes a lot of money for some people.. but the richest talk station is WFAN which appeals to that much desired male demographic informally referred to as guys who spend money. This past week WFAN celebrated its 20th anniversary with an incredible reunion highlighted by one hour shifts by hosts who hadn’t been heard on the station in many many moons. One interesting tidbit was passed along during a rather dry hour by Spencer Ross who talked about radio research conducted by the all news stations many years ago where participants indicated they did not want to listen to reports about… sports! Yet now, WFAN is the most profitable station in the country.. thanks mostly to non sports host Don Imus who brought in millions and millions of bucks.
In case you missed the reunion weekend, it was nice to hear the former hosts again… such as Ed Coleman and Dave Sims.. Sims is now the Mariners radio announcer while Coleman works the Met broadcasts. Russ Salzberg did a pro Imus rant.. and former overnight hosts Joe Beningo and Steve Somers did a live remote which included a salute to the former callers including the late legendary Doris Bauer from Rego Park who despite a chronic cough had some delightful insights that she often shared with the hosts. One late summer night during a too long drive home from the Jersey shore, my non sports fan buddy Mike listened to a Doris call to Jody MacDonald and exclaimed how amazed he was that a woman would know that much about sports!
Here were some of the highlights from the weekend…
Bill Mazer – Rumor has it he is in his late 80s and by his shaky voice you could tell that he has aged quite a bit... but once he got going you could see that the Amazing One is still as sharp as a tack talking about stuff from many years ago as it were yesterday and still able to talk about sports current events too. I thought he had “retired”, but apparently he still does a daily airshift at a Westchester station. He opened the show by speaking of his grandfather and great-grandfather who lived past 100 – and neither really retired. But his dad who did retire.. actually died in his late 60s.. hence Bill’s work ethic!
I always got a kick out of how he ended each broadcast.. either radio or on Channel 5 by saying “Thank You It’s Been a Pleasure”. I always wanted to order a call girl for him just to see if he would say that to her too.. (how Kushner-esque, but I wouldn’t videotape it!),. Ultimately, at the end of his hour the 80-something Mazer did not say “Thank You It’s been a pleasure”.. but instead wrapped up his hour on the 20th anniversary special with a shout out to the program director informing him he planned to be back for the 50th anniversary. As they say in Yiddish.. “biss a hundred and tzvantzik” (May he live to be 120)
Spencer Ross – Spencer dropped a side comment about his dislike for Pete Franklin the late rabble rousing afternoon drive host pre- Mike and the Mad Dog. Moments later leading out of a commercial, the producer surprised him and replayed a lengthy diatribe by Franklin where he bellowed about a feud with other staffers including Ross. Once he was back on the air, Ross went nuts totally dissing Franklin and I could swear used the word a-hole! Ross musta really had a lot of pent up hatred for ol Pete.. Incidentally, I did 2 radio internships.. the 2nd was in the Fall of ’88 at WFAN when Pete was working there. He really wasn’t friendly to anyone and used to come into the newsroom during commercial breaks and regardless if anyone was watching the newsroom TVs would turn each one of them off and announce.. “If you wanna watch TV.. go work at a TV station”. And he did this all the time.. Incidentally, my first internship was at WMCA when Chris Russo was an unknown weekend host, and back then I used to tell him that one day he would take Pete Franklin’s job and be the afternoon drive host on WFAN!!
Jim Lampley – the last host on the reunion, he was the first ever host on WFAN and yours truly was his third caller that fateful day. Lampley did his show from The West Coast and made it a point to inform listeners that he drove more than 100 miles to get to the studio. Lampley had some interesting moments including a call from a former co-worker who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder because Lampley didn’t help him during the early days when he attempted to launch a broadcasting career. It was quite bizarre. But the biggest news I learned during Lampley’s show.. long time radio caller Bruce From Flushing… who has been calling in shows since they came out with keypads and redial…is now married! (He is an observant Jew and didn’t call in during the Sabbath for Day 1 of the reunion and its all Jewish lineup!)
NEWSPAPERS AND OTHER RELATED MEDIA – The Star Ledger to me is the best paper.. I read a ton of papers online… but the Star Ledger is part of my daily FDA required reading and I have been a regular reader since I was a little pisher. Every day starts out with the comics, which is why today I want to discuss Two Things I Would Do If I was Running The Star Ledger.
1. Drop Funky Winkerbean from the comics until its new format starts later in the Fall. Just in case you haven’t heard.,.. For Better or For Worse, one of just a few comics where the characters age naturally will freeze in time this fall… Funky which was frozen in time in the earlier days when it was funny, had its characters start to age after the original cast of Funky and Les graduated from high school.
This fall, the Funky characters will age 10 years…and according to published reports Lisa the cancer stricken wife of Les is going to die. This really bugs me. Even though she is a fictional character, cartoonist Tom Batiuk has tortured her with untold suffering that has no place on the funny pages. Word on the street is her death may come in an unexpected manner… she is on the cusp of discovering that the son she gave up for adoption is a local yokel kid.. Maybe the boy will save her life with some rare blood type transfusion, only to have the strip pick up 10 years later and she died in the interim? Highly unlikely since Tuesday’s strip had the poor husband hear that his wife only had months left. How horrible to put this where little kids learn to read!…..The strip is just out of line… and if it were up to me, I would drop it till the story gets resolved. Kids who read the paper don’t have to be exposed to this,…. They should be watching Dennis menace or the Lockhorns lock horns... or Andy Capp's wife develop an odd admiring fascination with the Melanie McGuire Story, or The Little Family Circus kids say cute things even though they are all in their 50s now.
2. Change the website. The Ledger doesn’t have a regular site, but shares it with other Jersey papers as part of NJ.com.
I was recently made aware of some absurd cheap shots being launched towards a few people I know on a local town bulletin board. In my best Dennis Miller rant imitation, if we want to make the internet better… why doesn’t NJ.com shut down those God damn bulletin boards that allow people to make nasty personal comments while hiding behind the cloak of anonymity. It’s really heroic that these moronic losers can just say what they want without posting their real name.. Knowing full well that these gutless weasels don’t possess the balls to make these comments to these people right to their faces. Read the Constitution folks - Freedom of speech doesn’t allow people to make blasphemous comments about public figures just because you have some silly little personal issue with them.... The Star Ledger, otherwise a fantastic source of journalism has sunk to a new low by allowing this forum fiasco - they would never publish a letter in the paper without a name… (They will withhold identities upon request), and they would never allow their newspaper to carry the garbage that pollutes their website. The daughter of retiring NJ State Senator Bob Littell was recently rebuffed by a judge in her attempt to unmask one of these cowards after one of them made a disparaging comment about her young child on that bulletin board.
If NJ.com were more responsible they would shut down their forums and only allow postings IF THE PERSON USES THEIR REAL NAME… These gutless weasels wouldn’t say a peep if they had to attach their name to their comments…and all these cowards who make absurd comments about respected people in the community can just disappear into the woodwork and go back to looking at porn or learning better ways to hold the broom while they are on the job, or whatever it is that these pathetic losers do.
Remember… freedom of speech has to be understood to be appreciated. It doesn’t give ARod’s wife the right to wear a vulgar t shirt while parents of young kids cringe out of fear that their kid will see it… but freedom`as intended by our founding fathers is one heckuva beautiful thing…
Now time for The Clip of The Week - Last week I mentioned Neil Diamond's awesome Kol Nidre in The Jazz Singer. Today in honor of July 4th, here he is performing America!
Have a wonderful 4th of July!
Being the son of an immigrant… my dad came over from Europe in 1948 after The Holocaust … July 4th is really Thanksgiving to me... and deserves major celebrations! So today we address some of the Freedoms we get… the Freedom of Speech which allows us to have open newspapers and radio allowing us to speak freely.
TALK RADIO – I don’t agree with a lot of the hosts.,. but in America goofballs like Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh and possibly Ann Coulter are welcome to speak about their views on government… even when they clumsily defend Our Evil President’s disgraceful actions involving his partner in crime Scooter Libby. Inflammatory speech however is not part of the freedoms allowed in freedom of speech so I’m not too sure someone like Coulter should be allowed to flap her yapper especially with her horrible comments about the 9-11 widows and Presidential contender John Edwards.
Talk radio makes a lot of money for some people.. but the richest talk station is WFAN which appeals to that much desired male demographic informally referred to as guys who spend money. This past week WFAN celebrated its 20th anniversary with an incredible reunion highlighted by one hour shifts by hosts who hadn’t been heard on the station in many many moons. One interesting tidbit was passed along during a rather dry hour by Spencer Ross who talked about radio research conducted by the all news stations many years ago where participants indicated they did not want to listen to reports about… sports! Yet now, WFAN is the most profitable station in the country.. thanks mostly to non sports host Don Imus who brought in millions and millions of bucks.
In case you missed the reunion weekend, it was nice to hear the former hosts again… such as Ed Coleman and Dave Sims.. Sims is now the Mariners radio announcer while Coleman works the Met broadcasts. Russ Salzberg did a pro Imus rant.. and former overnight hosts Joe Beningo and Steve Somers did a live remote which included a salute to the former callers including the late legendary Doris Bauer from Rego Park who despite a chronic cough had some delightful insights that she often shared with the hosts. One late summer night during a too long drive home from the Jersey shore, my non sports fan buddy Mike listened to a Doris call to Jody MacDonald and exclaimed how amazed he was that a woman would know that much about sports!
Here were some of the highlights from the weekend…
Bill Mazer – Rumor has it he is in his late 80s and by his shaky voice you could tell that he has aged quite a bit... but once he got going you could see that the Amazing One is still as sharp as a tack talking about stuff from many years ago as it were yesterday and still able to talk about sports current events too. I thought he had “retired”, but apparently he still does a daily airshift at a Westchester station. He opened the show by speaking of his grandfather and great-grandfather who lived past 100 – and neither really retired. But his dad who did retire.. actually died in his late 60s.. hence Bill’s work ethic!
I always got a kick out of how he ended each broadcast.. either radio or on Channel 5 by saying “Thank You It’s Been a Pleasure”. I always wanted to order a call girl for him just to see if he would say that to her too.. (how Kushner-esque, but I wouldn’t videotape it!),. Ultimately, at the end of his hour the 80-something Mazer did not say “Thank You It’s been a pleasure”.. but instead wrapped up his hour on the 20th anniversary special with a shout out to the program director informing him he planned to be back for the 50th anniversary. As they say in Yiddish.. “biss a hundred and tzvantzik” (May he live to be 120)
Spencer Ross – Spencer dropped a side comment about his dislike for Pete Franklin the late rabble rousing afternoon drive host pre- Mike and the Mad Dog. Moments later leading out of a commercial, the producer surprised him and replayed a lengthy diatribe by Franklin where he bellowed about a feud with other staffers including Ross. Once he was back on the air, Ross went nuts totally dissing Franklin and I could swear used the word a-hole! Ross musta really had a lot of pent up hatred for ol Pete.. Incidentally, I did 2 radio internships.. the 2nd was in the Fall of ’88 at WFAN when Pete was working there. He really wasn’t friendly to anyone and used to come into the newsroom during commercial breaks and regardless if anyone was watching the newsroom TVs would turn each one of them off and announce.. “If you wanna watch TV.. go work at a TV station”. And he did this all the time.. Incidentally, my first internship was at WMCA when Chris Russo was an unknown weekend host, and back then I used to tell him that one day he would take Pete Franklin’s job and be the afternoon drive host on WFAN!!
Jim Lampley – the last host on the reunion, he was the first ever host on WFAN and yours truly was his third caller that fateful day. Lampley did his show from The West Coast and made it a point to inform listeners that he drove more than 100 miles to get to the studio. Lampley had some interesting moments including a call from a former co-worker who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder because Lampley didn’t help him during the early days when he attempted to launch a broadcasting career. It was quite bizarre. But the biggest news I learned during Lampley’s show.. long time radio caller Bruce From Flushing… who has been calling in shows since they came out with keypads and redial…is now married! (He is an observant Jew and didn’t call in during the Sabbath for Day 1 of the reunion and its all Jewish lineup!)
NEWSPAPERS AND OTHER RELATED MEDIA – The Star Ledger to me is the best paper.. I read a ton of papers online… but the Star Ledger is part of my daily FDA required reading and I have been a regular reader since I was a little pisher. Every day starts out with the comics, which is why today I want to discuss Two Things I Would Do If I was Running The Star Ledger.
1. Drop Funky Winkerbean from the comics until its new format starts later in the Fall. Just in case you haven’t heard.,.. For Better or For Worse, one of just a few comics where the characters age naturally will freeze in time this fall… Funky which was frozen in time in the earlier days when it was funny, had its characters start to age after the original cast of Funky and Les graduated from high school.
This fall, the Funky characters will age 10 years…and according to published reports Lisa the cancer stricken wife of Les is going to die. This really bugs me. Even though she is a fictional character, cartoonist Tom Batiuk has tortured her with untold suffering that has no place on the funny pages. Word on the street is her death may come in an unexpected manner… she is on the cusp of discovering that the son she gave up for adoption is a local yokel kid.. Maybe the boy will save her life with some rare blood type transfusion, only to have the strip pick up 10 years later and she died in the interim? Highly unlikely since Tuesday’s strip had the poor husband hear that his wife only had months left. How horrible to put this where little kids learn to read!…..The strip is just out of line… and if it were up to me, I would drop it till the story gets resolved. Kids who read the paper don’t have to be exposed to this,…. They should be watching Dennis menace or the Lockhorns lock horns... or Andy Capp's wife develop an odd admiring fascination with the Melanie McGuire Story, or The Little Family Circus kids say cute things even though they are all in their 50s now.
2. Change the website. The Ledger doesn’t have a regular site, but shares it with other Jersey papers as part of NJ.com.
I was recently made aware of some absurd cheap shots being launched towards a few people I know on a local town bulletin board. In my best Dennis Miller rant imitation, if we want to make the internet better… why doesn’t NJ.com shut down those God damn bulletin boards that allow people to make nasty personal comments while hiding behind the cloak of anonymity. It’s really heroic that these moronic losers can just say what they want without posting their real name.. Knowing full well that these gutless weasels don’t possess the balls to make these comments to these people right to their faces. Read the Constitution folks - Freedom of speech doesn’t allow people to make blasphemous comments about public figures just because you have some silly little personal issue with them.... The Star Ledger, otherwise a fantastic source of journalism has sunk to a new low by allowing this forum fiasco - they would never publish a letter in the paper without a name… (They will withhold identities upon request), and they would never allow their newspaper to carry the garbage that pollutes their website. The daughter of retiring NJ State Senator Bob Littell was recently rebuffed by a judge in her attempt to unmask one of these cowards after one of them made a disparaging comment about her young child on that bulletin board.
If NJ.com were more responsible they would shut down their forums and only allow postings IF THE PERSON USES THEIR REAL NAME… These gutless weasels wouldn’t say a peep if they had to attach their name to their comments…and all these cowards who make absurd comments about respected people in the community can just disappear into the woodwork and go back to looking at porn or learning better ways to hold the broom while they are on the job, or whatever it is that these pathetic losers do.
Remember… freedom of speech has to be understood to be appreciated. It doesn’t give ARod’s wife the right to wear a vulgar t shirt while parents of young kids cringe out of fear that their kid will see it… but freedom`as intended by our founding fathers is one heckuva beautiful thing…
Now time for The Clip of The Week - Last week I mentioned Neil Diamond's awesome Kol Nidre in The Jazz Singer. Today in honor of July 4th, here he is performing America!
Have a wonderful 4th of July!
Friday, June 29, 2007
TV Quarterly Report Part II - Curbed Enthusiasm for the New Season and A Trip Back to the 80s.
Now it’s time for Part II of our TV Quarterly Report…
The big TV news this week is that Isiah Washington claims he was fired from Grey's Anatomy due to racism against him. This comes after he used a gay slur, but in this post Imus PC era we live in.. such activity is a no no.. and coming on the heels of the downfall of the I-man... it was inevitable that Washington would go. You wonder if Al Sharpton will jump on the pro-Isiah bandwagon but the news stations are too busy covering the murdered pregnant woman, the dead wrestler and Paris Hilton to give Al the airtime. And by the way, this weekend, when WFAN celebrates its 20th anniversary.. there will be no I-man.. you can get an I-phone though. Anyone catch that Fox clip where the reporter covering the I-Phone had her microphone stolen during her live on air report?
Looking ahead to next season. none of the new shows have caught my attention except for the new one with Kelsey Grammer as a news anchorman and the remake of The Bionic Woman. I will hold off for now on my comments on the ABC News interview with Melanie McLiar... but did you ever see anything as bizarre as the last Price is Right with Bob Barker? Was that not the craziest piece of Americana? Bob downplayed his last episode.. saving only a few comments for the very end.. Meanwhile, the studio audience consisted of a bunch of un-showered over - exhausted over caffeinated goofballs who spent 5 days camping outside CBS so they could get a seat in the studio audience for Bob’s last show… As a viewer you could definitely feel the energy, excitement, and sense of anticipation of television history in the audience during the final episode.
One other thing.. The new HBO show “John from Cincinnati”… Helloooooooooooo who the heck cast Rebecca DeMornay as the grandmother of a teenager? Are you people crazy… she’s in her late 40s and looks like shes at least 10 years younger. The actor playing her grandson is 17 and the guy playing her son is only 10 years younger than she is.. And he looks even older than she does!
This past season I didn’t really jump in on too many new shows: I started watching The Nine.. but that died a quick death.. And other than Heroes and 1 vs. 100, no new shows really caught my attention. The only other network shows I watched this season other than the ones mentioned in Part I last month were Law and Order SVU and Desperate Housewives…. I also watched half the episodes during the final season of The Sopranos… and I love Entourage.. especially the toast that came at the end of the season finale… a Spanish phrase that has terrified me to take a vow of sobriety during wedding toasts out of fear I might repeat it to a Spanish speaking audience!
There is one other show on HBO I started watching this season - Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David. One thing I liked was how both CYE and Entourage have bizarre notions about how Jews spend Yom Kippur. Entourage was incredibly hysterical when the Reform guys involved in producing the movie Medellin smuggled their cell phones into their temple and conducted business, but the Orthodox guy refuses to be interrupted at his synagogue during the holiest day of the year. There were also some Yom Kippur shenanigans on CYE and of course the ultimate was from the Barry Levinson movie Liberty Heights… where the characters sneak out of synagogue during the High Holy Days and walk over to the nearby car dealership because that is the day that the next years models are going to be released. Of course the ultimate Yom Kippur scene was in “The Jazz Singer” when Neil Diamond unleashed a fantastic rendition of Kol Nidre.
I wasn’t so sure I would like CYE.. Prior to watching it I found an article online written in The Jersusalem Post by Arye Dworken called “Is Anything Worth a Laugh?” where he criticizes some of the CYE humor as being anti Jewish. Before I get to the article, I knew Dworken many many moons ago when he was a little pisher.. We went to the same synagogue where his dad was the Rabbi (and one of the best in my book; DAS from DAS blog bears an uncanny resemblance to him) and he was actually once my camper at the local day camp 25 years ago during the summer of ‘82.
My little pishers named themselves “The Pacmen”… no doubt after future NFL Troublemaker Pacman Jones, who wasn’t even born yet! There was another kid in my bunk who had a Rather Unusual First Name…. Flash forward to August 2004 - I was reading an article in the paper about the funeral for legendary WFAN Mets announcer Bob Murphy. There in the article was a quote from a Met fan attending the funeral… and it was the same kid –with the rather unusual first name! I almost fell out of my chair… I had totally forgotten about this kid, and the last I saw of him was the last day of camp.. What do you say to a little pisher on the last day of camp? Good luck in school and if you keep your knees straight, you’ll be the best kickball player in the 2nd grade!”
Well a couple of months after seeing his name in the paper… Trophy Wife and I were at my pal Steve’s house at a costume party and they are giving out little door prizes for the costumes. Would you believe the winner was… the same former camper?? It turns out he and Steve are buddies from college, and I’ve actually seen him a couple of times since then. I always make it a point to remind him to thank his mom for the generous tip and to keep his knees straight so his kickball skills will improve.
Meanwhile my other camper Mr. Dworken wrote an article that argues that the Jewish jokes on CYE hit too close to home. In his case he was most offended by the Orthodox wisecracks… In the real world each different group busts on the other in what I hope is a good natured way.. The Reform and Conservative scratch their heads at some of the Orthodox things. And some Orthodox make wisecracks about the non Orthodox. Even some of my Orthodox relatives have made comments that we attend a Conservative synagogue… even though I met my wife there!
There is one factual boo boo in this otherwise fine article. He starts off by referring to Larry David’s masterpiece Seinfeld.. And the infamous Yadda Yadda episode that had a dentist converting to Judaism so he could make Jewish jokes. In the article he refers to that episode as an “early classic episode”.. but yadda yadda which I think is the best Seinfeld episode ever, actually aired in the later seasons..
One of the CYE episodes mentioned by Dworken is one that I saw before I read his article, and to be honest I also thought it was a bit odd. Larry goes on a skiing trip with an Orthodox friend and his daughter.. Larry is just attempting to kiss up to the guy by acting like he is religious since the guy is in charge of a transplant program and his buddy needs a new kidney. Here is a clip…
At the ski lodge the daughter who is single covers her head.. Actually, only Orthodox married women cover their heads. Then there is another scene where she jumps off a stalled ski lift she is sharing with Larry because she cant be alone with him because its getting dark outside. She asks him to jump but his reply is a rendition of Are You Nuts that is a bit vulgar for this blog. But the jumping puzzles me; I am familiar with certain laws about single women being alone with a man.. But I don’t know that that only applies to night time.. I thought its daytime too. But then again, if you are stranded on a ski lift that’s an extenuating circumstance (as Larry argued) so Im sure its ok. Heck, last Passover, a family of chusids were stranded for several hours on the Roosevelt Island ferry after the holiday started and after they were rescued they were driven home... even though observant Jews don't drive on the first 2 and last 2 days of Passover.
Another episode he mentioned just aired again recently - the one where Larry attempts to carry on an affair with a Hasidic woman. I won’t debate here if a hasidic woman would commit adultery. But they really stretched it when they showed her smoking outside her front door on the Sabbath!!! There is no way you will ever ever ever see a Chasidic woman smoking publicly on The Sabbath! Maybe in the little private room where they hide the tv? Maybe there.. But never in public. That episode also featured a very corny debate between Colby from Survivor and a Holocaust survivor about who is really a survivor. Not one of the better episodes.. They should have stuck to the old Seinfeld shtick about spoiled people owning ponies.. (Where the very old lady says…”I had a pony!”)
I cant say that I disagree with Dworken.. although I’m not too insulted by David’s humor.. But it was an entertaining article. And frankly I have such a warped sense of humor that Curb Your Enthusiasm actually entertains me in the same way Seinfeld did.. a bunch of odd events leading to a finale that is usually quite amusing.. I can see where some people might be offended by some of the jokes.. And I can only imagine what some Orthodox wisenheimers would write in a script about Conservative/Reform/Reconstructionist Jews…I get more annoyed when TV and movies portray Jews and don’t get their facts straight! One glaring example is the mistake-a-lapooza movie “Keeping the Faith” which was filmed on The Upper West Side at Bnai Jeshurun aka BJ. Just the fact that a character exited the synagogue, made a right, walked down the block and arrived at a one way street drove me bonkers since everyone knows that when you walk out of BJ and make a right you end up on West End Avenue which is a freaking 2 way street!!.
On the last day of the summer of ‘82 when I told the kid with the unusual name to keep his knees straight for kickball.. I remember telling young Arye to keep reading books to help his growing vocabulary… His Larry David article ends when he criticizes a magazine for “suggesting that David represents the paradigmatic Jew”.
I don’t even know what the hell that means!
Now time for the Clip of the Week from Kean-a-scope Theater
This weekend WFAN marks its 20 year anniversary with a big reunion weekend featuring former hosts such as 80 something year old Bill Mazer! Russ Salzberg and Spencer Ross. The station makes a bazillion dollars in advertising revenue and picked a great time to premiere on AM Radio. Personality Radio was getting more popular on AM as music was defecting to FM… Howard Stern had recently been canned by WNBC.. WABC was looking for its niche as a right wing station with Bob Grant holding down the afternoons… and country station WHN was carrying the Mets whose fans brought in huge ratings starting with the 1984 Davey Johnson resurgence. (I called WHN one March snow day asking if they would be airing the Mets exhibition game. The DJ said it wasn’t gonna be on and asked me if I wanted to hear country music instead. My answer was verbatim what Larry David said to the girl in the ski lift!) The timing was perfect that July 1, 1987…. when Jim Lampley hosted that first talk show, and if you can find an aircheck of the first moments.. I was the third caller on the very first show! Lampley will host the 6pm - 7pm hour on Sunday Night.,..
As I have mentioned in the past I was an intern at WFAN in the Fall of 1988… a big time in their history as the station went from 1050 to the old WNBC spot at 66. At that point Imus was joining the station and WMCA import Chris Russo and midday host Mike Francesa were just discovering each other.. the launching pad for the stations long time anchors in morning and afternoon drive.. ... In November 1988, I taped an interview with last original host Steve Somers for a cable show produced through Montclair State College. You will also notice his reference to luggage as we continue the Melanie McGuire theme!! Since my usual hosting site (which has the Melanie McG song) has been down all week.. it is You Tube to the rescue!! Here is the clip...
The big TV news this week is that Isiah Washington claims he was fired from Grey's Anatomy due to racism against him. This comes after he used a gay slur, but in this post Imus PC era we live in.. such activity is a no no.. and coming on the heels of the downfall of the I-man... it was inevitable that Washington would go. You wonder if Al Sharpton will jump on the pro-Isiah bandwagon but the news stations are too busy covering the murdered pregnant woman, the dead wrestler and Paris Hilton to give Al the airtime. And by the way, this weekend, when WFAN celebrates its 20th anniversary.. there will be no I-man.. you can get an I-phone though. Anyone catch that Fox clip where the reporter covering the I-Phone had her microphone stolen during her live on air report?
Looking ahead to next season. none of the new shows have caught my attention except for the new one with Kelsey Grammer as a news anchorman and the remake of The Bionic Woman. I will hold off for now on my comments on the ABC News interview with Melanie McLiar... but did you ever see anything as bizarre as the last Price is Right with Bob Barker? Was that not the craziest piece of Americana? Bob downplayed his last episode.. saving only a few comments for the very end.. Meanwhile, the studio audience consisted of a bunch of un-showered over - exhausted over caffeinated goofballs who spent 5 days camping outside CBS so they could get a seat in the studio audience for Bob’s last show… As a viewer you could definitely feel the energy, excitement, and sense of anticipation of television history in the audience during the final episode.
One other thing.. The new HBO show “John from Cincinnati”… Helloooooooooooo who the heck cast Rebecca DeMornay as the grandmother of a teenager? Are you people crazy… she’s in her late 40s and looks like shes at least 10 years younger. The actor playing her grandson is 17 and the guy playing her son is only 10 years younger than she is.. And he looks even older than she does!
This past season I didn’t really jump in on too many new shows: I started watching The Nine.. but that died a quick death.. And other than Heroes and 1 vs. 100, no new shows really caught my attention. The only other network shows I watched this season other than the ones mentioned in Part I last month were Law and Order SVU and Desperate Housewives…. I also watched half the episodes during the final season of The Sopranos… and I love Entourage.. especially the toast that came at the end of the season finale… a Spanish phrase that has terrified me to take a vow of sobriety during wedding toasts out of fear I might repeat it to a Spanish speaking audience!
There is one other show on HBO I started watching this season - Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David. One thing I liked was how both CYE and Entourage have bizarre notions about how Jews spend Yom Kippur. Entourage was incredibly hysterical when the Reform guys involved in producing the movie Medellin smuggled their cell phones into their temple and conducted business, but the Orthodox guy refuses to be interrupted at his synagogue during the holiest day of the year. There were also some Yom Kippur shenanigans on CYE and of course the ultimate was from the Barry Levinson movie Liberty Heights… where the characters sneak out of synagogue during the High Holy Days and walk over to the nearby car dealership because that is the day that the next years models are going to be released. Of course the ultimate Yom Kippur scene was in “The Jazz Singer” when Neil Diamond unleashed a fantastic rendition of Kol Nidre.
I wasn’t so sure I would like CYE.. Prior to watching it I found an article online written in The Jersusalem Post by Arye Dworken called “Is Anything Worth a Laugh?” where he criticizes some of the CYE humor as being anti Jewish. Before I get to the article, I knew Dworken many many moons ago when he was a little pisher.. We went to the same synagogue where his dad was the Rabbi (and one of the best in my book; DAS from DAS blog bears an uncanny resemblance to him) and he was actually once my camper at the local day camp 25 years ago during the summer of ‘82.
My little pishers named themselves “The Pacmen”… no doubt after future NFL Troublemaker Pacman Jones, who wasn’t even born yet! There was another kid in my bunk who had a Rather Unusual First Name…. Flash forward to August 2004 - I was reading an article in the paper about the funeral for legendary WFAN Mets announcer Bob Murphy. There in the article was a quote from a Met fan attending the funeral… and it was the same kid –with the rather unusual first name! I almost fell out of my chair… I had totally forgotten about this kid, and the last I saw of him was the last day of camp.. What do you say to a little pisher on the last day of camp? Good luck in school and if you keep your knees straight, you’ll be the best kickball player in the 2nd grade!”
Well a couple of months after seeing his name in the paper… Trophy Wife and I were at my pal Steve’s house at a costume party and they are giving out little door prizes for the costumes. Would you believe the winner was… the same former camper?? It turns out he and Steve are buddies from college, and I’ve actually seen him a couple of times since then. I always make it a point to remind him to thank his mom for the generous tip and to keep his knees straight so his kickball skills will improve.
Meanwhile my other camper Mr. Dworken wrote an article that argues that the Jewish jokes on CYE hit too close to home. In his case he was most offended by the Orthodox wisecracks… In the real world each different group busts on the other in what I hope is a good natured way.. The Reform and Conservative scratch their heads at some of the Orthodox things. And some Orthodox make wisecracks about the non Orthodox. Even some of my Orthodox relatives have made comments that we attend a Conservative synagogue… even though I met my wife there!
There is one factual boo boo in this otherwise fine article. He starts off by referring to Larry David’s masterpiece Seinfeld.. And the infamous Yadda Yadda episode that had a dentist converting to Judaism so he could make Jewish jokes. In the article he refers to that episode as an “early classic episode”.. but yadda yadda which I think is the best Seinfeld episode ever, actually aired in the later seasons..
One of the CYE episodes mentioned by Dworken is one that I saw before I read his article, and to be honest I also thought it was a bit odd. Larry goes on a skiing trip with an Orthodox friend and his daughter.. Larry is just attempting to kiss up to the guy by acting like he is religious since the guy is in charge of a transplant program and his buddy needs a new kidney. Here is a clip…
At the ski lodge the daughter who is single covers her head.. Actually, only Orthodox married women cover their heads. Then there is another scene where she jumps off a stalled ski lift she is sharing with Larry because she cant be alone with him because its getting dark outside. She asks him to jump but his reply is a rendition of Are You Nuts that is a bit vulgar for this blog. But the jumping puzzles me; I am familiar with certain laws about single women being alone with a man.. But I don’t know that that only applies to night time.. I thought its daytime too. But then again, if you are stranded on a ski lift that’s an extenuating circumstance (as Larry argued) so Im sure its ok. Heck, last Passover, a family of chusids were stranded for several hours on the Roosevelt Island ferry after the holiday started and after they were rescued they were driven home... even though observant Jews don't drive on the first 2 and last 2 days of Passover.
Another episode he mentioned just aired again recently - the one where Larry attempts to carry on an affair with a Hasidic woman. I won’t debate here if a hasidic woman would commit adultery. But they really stretched it when they showed her smoking outside her front door on the Sabbath!!! There is no way you will ever ever ever see a Chasidic woman smoking publicly on The Sabbath! Maybe in the little private room where they hide the tv? Maybe there.. But never in public. That episode also featured a very corny debate between Colby from Survivor and a Holocaust survivor about who is really a survivor. Not one of the better episodes.. They should have stuck to the old Seinfeld shtick about spoiled people owning ponies.. (Where the very old lady says…”I had a pony!”)
I cant say that I disagree with Dworken.. although I’m not too insulted by David’s humor.. But it was an entertaining article. And frankly I have such a warped sense of humor that Curb Your Enthusiasm actually entertains me in the same way Seinfeld did.. a bunch of odd events leading to a finale that is usually quite amusing.. I can see where some people might be offended by some of the jokes.. And I can only imagine what some Orthodox wisenheimers would write in a script about Conservative/Reform/Reconstructionist Jews…I get more annoyed when TV and movies portray Jews and don’t get their facts straight! One glaring example is the mistake-a-lapooza movie “Keeping the Faith” which was filmed on The Upper West Side at Bnai Jeshurun aka BJ. Just the fact that a character exited the synagogue, made a right, walked down the block and arrived at a one way street drove me bonkers since everyone knows that when you walk out of BJ and make a right you end up on West End Avenue which is a freaking 2 way street!!.
On the last day of the summer of ‘82 when I told the kid with the unusual name to keep his knees straight for kickball.. I remember telling young Arye to keep reading books to help his growing vocabulary… His Larry David article ends when he criticizes a magazine for “suggesting that David represents the paradigmatic Jew”.
I don’t even know what the hell that means!
Now time for the Clip of the Week from Kean-a-scope Theater
This weekend WFAN marks its 20 year anniversary with a big reunion weekend featuring former hosts such as 80 something year old Bill Mazer! Russ Salzberg and Spencer Ross. The station makes a bazillion dollars in advertising revenue and picked a great time to premiere on AM Radio. Personality Radio was getting more popular on AM as music was defecting to FM… Howard Stern had recently been canned by WNBC.. WABC was looking for its niche as a right wing station with Bob Grant holding down the afternoons… and country station WHN was carrying the Mets whose fans brought in huge ratings starting with the 1984 Davey Johnson resurgence. (I called WHN one March snow day asking if they would be airing the Mets exhibition game. The DJ said it wasn’t gonna be on and asked me if I wanted to hear country music instead. My answer was verbatim what Larry David said to the girl in the ski lift!) The timing was perfect that July 1, 1987…. when Jim Lampley hosted that first talk show, and if you can find an aircheck of the first moments.. I was the third caller on the very first show! Lampley will host the 6pm - 7pm hour on Sunday Night.,..
As I have mentioned in the past I was an intern at WFAN in the Fall of 1988… a big time in their history as the station went from 1050 to the old WNBC spot at 66. At that point Imus was joining the station and WMCA import Chris Russo and midday host Mike Francesa were just discovering each other.. the launching pad for the stations long time anchors in morning and afternoon drive.. ... In November 1988, I taped an interview with last original host Steve Somers for a cable show produced through Montclair State College. You will also notice his reference to luggage as we continue the Melanie McGuire theme!! Since my usual hosting site (which has the Melanie McG song) has been down all week.. it is You Tube to the rescue!! Here is the clip...
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
"The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" Premiere: The New Hit Song of The Summer of '07
For those of you whose cable blacked out during the last minute of The Sopranos right after we learned that Meadow Soprano has the same parallel parking issues that I do… what you missed was Dr. Bob Hartley/Bob Newhart woke up in bed with a half read book about "Psychotherapy for Sociopaths", rolled over in bed, and said…”Wow honey.. Did I have the weirdest dream”… and there from under the covers wearing nothing but a leather teddy with S&M spikes emerged Dr. Melfi. Odd, don’t you think?
Well today is New music Tuesday and to coincide with that… we are releasing our recorded version of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007. Check out the
Original April column for more background. You will see a link to a website that explains the song “Creeque Alley” by The Mamas and the Papas. The Ballad of Melanie McGuire c 2007 is the story of Melanie to the tune of that Mamas and Papas classic!
If you didn't click back to the April column... here is some background of the Melanie McGuire story excerpted from the archives.
She was convicted in April on charges that she barbarically murdered her husband by hacking him to bits and dumping him in a suitcase off the Chesapeake River. What really bugs me about this woman is her sheer narcissism that she thought she could just kill this poor guy and get away with it. She even had the audacity to cover her tracks by challenging EZ Pass charges that put her near the Chesapeake, and bizarre taxicab adventures explaining how she went to Atlantic City to move her husband's car as "a prank to annoy him". Does she really think she is so smart and the cops are so stupid? Constitutionally speaking she had the right to a strong defense, but does she really think her bigshot lawyer Joe Tacopina really believed she was innocent and didn't take on the case so he could get a ton of free publicity with Court TV face time?
I find it hard to believe that she acted alone, and after watching a ton of Law and Order reruns, it amazes me that her narcissism never allowed her accept the inevitable plea deal to give up an accomplice who must have helped her with the heavy chopping and the suitcase packing. Its incredibly arrogant that she wouldn’t take a plea and instead went with the Little Miss Innocent Defense - that the husband was mean to poor sweet Melanie.
For those of you who haven’t been following this sordid storyline.. Melanie McGuire has her own website soliciting money for what turned out to be her losing defense fund. According to the Melanie McGuire website, she started out life as Melanie Slate, growing up in Ridgewood, New Jersey. She graduated Middletown High School South in 1990, graduated Rutgers in 1994 and a Nursing School in 1997. Murder wasn’t the first of The Ten Commandments she opted to violate.. She started having an affair with her murdered husband while he was married to his first wife… and then started her little affair with her colleague Dr. Bradley Miller while she was 9 months pregnant.
In case you missed the trial… Melanie was accused of chopping up her husband,.. putting him in 3 suitcases and then hightailing it down the Turnpike where she dumped the suitcases off a bridge into the Chesapeake River. At the time, she was a nurse at a fertility clinic and having an affair with Fertility Doc Dr. Miller. Her trial was on Court TV and her lawyer was high profile defense att'y Joe Tacopina. She had originally reported the husband missing, shortly after they bought a new house in Warren County…. claiming he had a gambling problem and she told cops she thought he was at Trump's Taj Mahal casino. However she did admit she went down to AC.. found his car… (even though most people can't find a car in a mall parking lot; yet she found it in AC!) and moved it just to mess with his head. The cops also had a couple of ex boyfriends call her, and while secretly recording the conversations, tried to get the fellas to get Melanie to fess up. She also denied being on the highway when the suitcases were dumped… disputing EZ Pass records showing tolls paid by her. Is that the height of arrogance? Kill somebody and then order EZ Pass to remove the charges? I wonder if she haggled with the salesman when she bought those suitcases?
Thanks to the power of Google.. A lot of people meandered here for that April column.. Including the folks at the Melanie McGuire Bulletin Board at CourtTV.com who got a kick of the song when we released the lyrics... How ironic that Google was the same website Melanie used to find ways to murder her husband! That just did not look good for her when her husband ended up dead. She also poisoned him with a forged prescription she picked up at Walgreens near my old condo, and stayed at a hotel right near the Walgreens! Employees for both those establishments testified during the trial.
And now before the grand premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" c2007, its important to appreciate the sheer genius of the original Creeque Alley so in true Don Kirshner style - here it is!
And now without further ado… The Premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”! sung by myself and Neil Fein… Neil’s the guy with the good voice…
Here is some background info: First of all Neil Fein is a musical genius… It was Neil’s brilliance that brought this song to life. He put a lot of work into creating its sound.. from learning the song all the way to figuring out a pitch that I could handle. If you read the background info about the song, you will note that Mama Cass had some problems hitting certain notes and it might seem that the others might have been jealous of her superior talent by creating a song that is actually very difficult to sing. We also invited one of my German relatives whose voice sounds uncannily like Dr. Ruth Westheimer to sing some background vocals…
For now we are just embedding it.. a video will be released soon along with an mp3. In order to get the timing just right I listened to my Mamas and Papas record (!) over and over again on my $250 Sharp SG-164 New Decorator Series stereo system. The song was written in the early days of the trial - but the lyrics weren't released until the jury came back with the verdict.. I had thought about changing the line that rhymes with "Mama Cass" to "She fought with EZ Pass", but decided it would take away from the songs edginess, and basically it would have sounded like a Puff The Magic Dragon-esque folk song. If Neil and I do the summer concert scene and do day camp shows at the Garden State Arts Center, obviously we will clean it up a bit! And I really don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings with this song... as I mentioned back on April 24th the damage was done when Melanie killed this poor guy... this song is the story of her incredibly cruelty.
And yes, Neil wore his fur hat during the recording… maybe not such a great idea since this is the week animal rights activist Bob Barker is stepping down after 35 years on The Price is Right!
Now time for The Clip of the Week: Since we started today with a Bob - (Newhart), we will conclude with a Bob - Bob Barker! This Friday is Bob Barker’s final day on The Price is Right. Since today we wrote about a column from April…. here is a clip with a woman named April who bears a bit of a resemblance to...Melanie McGuire… And take a wild guess what she tries to win!
Well today is New music Tuesday and to coincide with that… we are releasing our recorded version of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007. Check out the
Original April column for more background. You will see a link to a website that explains the song “Creeque Alley” by The Mamas and the Papas. The Ballad of Melanie McGuire c 2007 is the story of Melanie to the tune of that Mamas and Papas classic!
If you didn't click back to the April column... here is some background of the Melanie McGuire story excerpted from the archives.
She was convicted in April on charges that she barbarically murdered her husband by hacking him to bits and dumping him in a suitcase off the Chesapeake River. What really bugs me about this woman is her sheer narcissism that she thought she could just kill this poor guy and get away with it. She even had the audacity to cover her tracks by challenging EZ Pass charges that put her near the Chesapeake, and bizarre taxicab adventures explaining how she went to Atlantic City to move her husband's car as "a prank to annoy him". Does she really think she is so smart and the cops are so stupid? Constitutionally speaking she had the right to a strong defense, but does she really think her bigshot lawyer Joe Tacopina really believed she was innocent and didn't take on the case so he could get a ton of free publicity with Court TV face time?
I find it hard to believe that she acted alone, and after watching a ton of Law and Order reruns, it amazes me that her narcissism never allowed her accept the inevitable plea deal to give up an accomplice who must have helped her with the heavy chopping and the suitcase packing. Its incredibly arrogant that she wouldn’t take a plea and instead went with the Little Miss Innocent Defense - that the husband was mean to poor sweet Melanie.
For those of you who haven’t been following this sordid storyline.. Melanie McGuire has her own website soliciting money for what turned out to be her losing defense fund. According to the Melanie McGuire website, she started out life as Melanie Slate, growing up in Ridgewood, New Jersey. She graduated Middletown High School South in 1990, graduated Rutgers in 1994 and a Nursing School in 1997. Murder wasn’t the first of The Ten Commandments she opted to violate.. She started having an affair with her murdered husband while he was married to his first wife… and then started her little affair with her colleague Dr. Bradley Miller while she was 9 months pregnant.
In case you missed the trial… Melanie was accused of chopping up her husband,.. putting him in 3 suitcases and then hightailing it down the Turnpike where she dumped the suitcases off a bridge into the Chesapeake River. At the time, she was a nurse at a fertility clinic and having an affair with Fertility Doc Dr. Miller. Her trial was on Court TV and her lawyer was high profile defense att'y Joe Tacopina. She had originally reported the husband missing, shortly after they bought a new house in Warren County…. claiming he had a gambling problem and she told cops she thought he was at Trump's Taj Mahal casino. However she did admit she went down to AC.. found his car… (even though most people can't find a car in a mall parking lot; yet she found it in AC!) and moved it just to mess with his head. The cops also had a couple of ex boyfriends call her, and while secretly recording the conversations, tried to get the fellas to get Melanie to fess up. She also denied being on the highway when the suitcases were dumped… disputing EZ Pass records showing tolls paid by her. Is that the height of arrogance? Kill somebody and then order EZ Pass to remove the charges? I wonder if she haggled with the salesman when she bought those suitcases?
Thanks to the power of Google.. A lot of people meandered here for that April column.. Including the folks at the Melanie McGuire Bulletin Board at CourtTV.com who got a kick of the song when we released the lyrics... How ironic that Google was the same website Melanie used to find ways to murder her husband! That just did not look good for her when her husband ended up dead. She also poisoned him with a forged prescription she picked up at Walgreens near my old condo, and stayed at a hotel right near the Walgreens! Employees for both those establishments testified during the trial.
And now before the grand premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" c2007, its important to appreciate the sheer genius of the original Creeque Alley so in true Don Kirshner style - here it is!
And now without further ado… The Premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”! sung by myself and Neil Fein… Neil’s the guy with the good voice…
Here is some background info: First of all Neil Fein is a musical genius… It was Neil’s brilliance that brought this song to life. He put a lot of work into creating its sound.. from learning the song all the way to figuring out a pitch that I could handle. If you read the background info about the song, you will note that Mama Cass had some problems hitting certain notes and it might seem that the others might have been jealous of her superior talent by creating a song that is actually very difficult to sing. We also invited one of my German relatives whose voice sounds uncannily like Dr. Ruth Westheimer to sing some background vocals…
For now we are just embedding it.. a video will be released soon along with an mp3. In order to get the timing just right I listened to my Mamas and Papas record (!) over and over again on my $250 Sharp SG-164 New Decorator Series stereo system. The song was written in the early days of the trial - but the lyrics weren't released until the jury came back with the verdict.. I had thought about changing the line that rhymes with "Mama Cass" to "She fought with EZ Pass", but decided it would take away from the songs edginess, and basically it would have sounded like a Puff The Magic Dragon-esque folk song. If Neil and I do the summer concert scene and do day camp shows at the Garden State Arts Center, obviously we will clean it up a bit! And I really don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings with this song... as I mentioned back on April 24th the damage was done when Melanie killed this poor guy... this song is the story of her incredibly cruelty.
And yes, Neil wore his fur hat during the recording… maybe not such a great idea since this is the week animal rights activist Bob Barker is stepping down after 35 years on The Price is Right!
Now time for The Clip of the Week: Since we started today with a Bob - (Newhart), we will conclude with a Bob - Bob Barker! This Friday is Bob Barker’s final day on The Price is Right. Since today we wrote about a column from April…. here is a clip with a woman named April who bears a bit of a resemblance to...Melanie McGuire… And take a wild guess what she tries to win!
Friday, June 08, 2007
Baseball Quarterly Report
Ooops... it seems like we are past the ¼ mark of the season and we’re late with the baseball quarterly report… .Sorry folks.. moving has a tendency to delay blogging, and these columns don't write themseslves! We will soon have Part II of the TV Quarterly Report… plus we’re behind on the Movie Club reviews… a new one is coming soon, and next week on this very blog we will have the world premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c 2007.
Before we get to today's topic.. I see that there is word that Isiah Washington has been canned from "Grey's Anatomy" because of gay slurs he tossed at a castmate. Washington can thank Al Sharpton for ABC's decision, after Sharpton demanded that Imus be fired for his nappy headed ho comment during the Imus fundraiser for kids with cancer. Imagine that.. taking money from Cancer Kids.. yet another example of the evilness of Al Sharpton. How could ABC keep Washington after Imus lost his job? Actually, most normal thinking people wouldn't have an issue if both men had kept their jobs. Also, keep in mind that many gay actors stay in the closet because it adversely affects their ability to get future acting roles, so Washington's "outing" could end up costing his now former co star millions of dollars.
Its been a great week in sports.. Jets coach Eric Mangini was on "The Sopranos" when Tony Soprano ran into him at a local eatery. (Can you imagine if Tony S. was a Met fan and the bullpen was at that restaurant?) Anaheim won the Stanley Cup… although ratings show that nobody was watching it… Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea for the NHL to move their playoff games from ESPN to the hard to find Versus network. Nothing is more exciting than a playoff OT hockey game! Also, the NBA Finals are underway and in Tennis… The French Open Final features Justine Henin Hardin who has paid tribute to the late 3 named Charles Nelson Reilly, by reverting to the more traditional two names of Justine Henin.. Although rumor has it she did so because she and her husband recently split.
As for baseball,. First we’ll take a look at the local teams.. And then we’ll take a look at the national baseball picture…
I must admit I am an odd baseball fan… I have a fantasy team so I root for odd situations to occur.. Yet my team sucks so I don’t pay too much attention to it… I’m a big Met fan.. And I don’t really like the Yankees.. But I don’t hate them as much as I did after the 2000 World Series. Of all the Yankees, the one I dislike the least is probably Alex Rodriguez.. As I have said before he is one Albert Pujols Sr, broken condom away from being the best player in baseball.
I don’t particularly like Barry Bonds. He used steroids before they were banned,… but that gray area is very hard to accept as he approaches the immortal Hank Aaron record of 755 homeruns. Watching A Rod and Bonds has led me to root for an odd combination of events. Imagine if Bonds somehow loses his ability to hit.. Kind of like the washed up player who made the comeback in the movie Mr. 3000, or George Foster when he came to the Mets…… I won’t root for the guy to get injured… but what happens if his 755th homerun comes the same day that A Rod breaks Bonds’ single season record? Wouldn’t it be the perfect punishment to his years of chemical enhancements that he breaks the Aaron record the same day his own record is broken? And which record would get more media attention? A Rod is on the Yankees.. And if Bonds record comes on one of those late night West Coast games in September.. Will anybody actually be awake in the eastern time zone to witness it? And who gets the headlines the next morning if the Bonds home run happens after the newspaper publishing deadlines?
As for the Mets… the hitters are getting bitten by the injury bug.. just as Carlos Delgado starts to wake up from his lengthy slumber.. But thankfully the pitching is really coming together. Even though they lost the 2006 pennant to St. Louis, Games 6 and 7 gave us a hint of the future since the outstanding performances of starters John Maine and Oliver Perez have continued into the 2007 season. The Mets made a couple of steals in the trades to acquire those pitchers.. Perez came over for Xavier Nady after Duaner Sanchez was injured in a taxicab crash in FL. Meanwhile, it was actually the decision to trade Ty Wigginton to Pittsburgh that got the ball rolling for Maine.. The Mets got Kris Benson and his nutty wife who they then sent to Baltimore before the 2006 season for the awful Jorge Julio who has since gone to Arizona to FL and to Colorado in a year and 2 months! Maine was a throw in in the Benson deal with Baltimore, and to top it all off,. Julio started his cross country legacy by being traded to Arizona for…. Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez… And there you have 3 of the Mets five starters!
Has any other first place team ever acquired 3/5 of their rotation with such one sided heists??
Looking back at my preseason predictions, I can see that I was as wrong as usual… Of the 6 contending NL teams I picked for the ‘07 season,… 4 look pretty solid.. I had picked the Phillies to win the division, but now it looks like they might take the wild card while the Mets win the division… a flip flop of my original pick. Then again.. The Phillies really had the Mets number this past week…. The Phillies have been shaky but much improved since their awful start and the Astros have been pretty bad in a very mediocre NL Central Division… The Brewers have been doing quite well with young Prince Fielder anchoring the infield.. Luckily all the other teams in the division have just been so awful that they may have a nice little run. However, I don’t think the Brewers are going to stay on top for much longer and if any other team in the mediocre division can rise to the top.. It really should be Houston since they have the most talent..,… even though the Astros fan may want to brace themselves for Carlos Lee’s annual 2nd half swoon.
Over in the West, my predictions of a 2 team race between LA and Arizona has been somewhat accurate even though San Diego is hanging in there, despite their old rotation. However Jake Peavy has been fantastic and the ageless Greg Maddux rolls on. . They have a great young superstar in Adrian Gonzales, and Trevor Hoffman is solid in the pen as usual.. taking the spotlight from Mariano Rivera after he became the first pitcher in baseball history to nail his 500th save.. But I don’t know long they can play with the big boys in the division. LA just got Jason Schmidt back; he twirled a 6 inning 1 hit masterpiece and that is a solid boost to the rotation.
Looking back at my original playoff predictions.. I probably have 2 of the 4 playoff teams right. NY and LA… although the Phillies and Astros both have a shot. And I seem to be on the money with the St. Louis Cardinals being the disappointment of the season. Not only did they lose most of last years rotation, but their ace Chris Carpenter has been injured and having a pitcher die in a drunk driving accident just a month after their manager was arrested in a very embarrassing DWI has made life very difficult for the defending World Champs.
Over in the AL.. the Red Sox fans are watching me eat my words.. as The Yankees are starting to think about catching Detroit for the Wild Card.. you gotta wonder how far this team will go with that pitching staff. Mike Mussina is a shadow of his former self.. Roger Clemens can’t possibly anchor a staff at his advanced age… and the revolving door of AAA pitchers who have been injured or knocked out early have just worn out an already weak bullpen.. And whatever happened to Mariano Rivera? The other surprise is how the Blue Jays have been such a disappointment… Closer BJ Ryan is out for the year and Gustavo Chacin is injured yet again…. He’s out indefinitely after 5 starts.. He only made 17 last year. The D’Rays and Orioles have been their usual losing selves… although not as bad as seasons past. The March Baseball Preview pegged the O’s bandwagon jumpers as the biggest AL disappointment of ’07.
The Central is as expected the best division in baseball. I picked the Chisox to win it with Cleveland as the Wild Card. As the Twins proved last year, you can’t count any of these teams out the way they tend to run off long winning streaks and I am far from ready to concede Chicago’s chances of making the playoffs. Cleveland has been kicking butt at home.. CC Sabathia has been amazing, and even though Cliff Lee has fallen off a bit as he recovers from injury. Fausto Carmona and Paul Byrd have picked up the slack. The Twins are getting by with young Boof Bonser joining perennial Cy Young winner Johan Santana in the rotation, and the team will only get better once catcher Joe Mauer gets back from the DL where he has been for the last month suffering from bleeding quadriceps. Ooooo.. Sounds icky.
The Angels are the team to beat in the West, as we predicted… The fans in Anaheim are hoping the Angels can be champs now that The Mighty Ducks have won the Stanley Cup! And notice how the Mariners are much improved so far this season?.. They were my pick for AL Surprise Team of 2007.
My 4 AL playoff teams were NY, Chicago, Cleveland and The Angels... It looks like 2 of those are pretty solid and I wouldn't be surprised if either the Chisox or Yankees made it as Wild Cards.. so I may have 3 out of 4 right. My pre-season pick of an Indians - Mets World Series? It still looks quite realistic.. But the Mets better root for the National League to win the All Star Game so Cleveland doesn’t get home field advantage… they have been virtually unbeatable at Jacobs Field… I’d rather see Game 1 of Pedro against CC Sabathia at Shea!
Next week: The World Premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire"... Wait till you hear how it came out!
Now time for the Clip of the Week,… next Friday is the grand finale of Bob Barker’s 50 year reign on daily TV… Here is a clip from The Price is Right in the early days.. It's incredible how expensive electronics were back then in the pre Best Buy days! In this clip from Dec. 1983, this woman hadn’t grasped the concept of a vcr! And listen out for Bob's sly little 60 Minutes wisecrack.
Before we get to today's topic.. I see that there is word that Isiah Washington has been canned from "Grey's Anatomy" because of gay slurs he tossed at a castmate. Washington can thank Al Sharpton for ABC's decision, after Sharpton demanded that Imus be fired for his nappy headed ho comment during the Imus fundraiser for kids with cancer. Imagine that.. taking money from Cancer Kids.. yet another example of the evilness of Al Sharpton. How could ABC keep Washington after Imus lost his job? Actually, most normal thinking people wouldn't have an issue if both men had kept their jobs. Also, keep in mind that many gay actors stay in the closet because it adversely affects their ability to get future acting roles, so Washington's "outing" could end up costing his now former co star millions of dollars.
Its been a great week in sports.. Jets coach Eric Mangini was on "The Sopranos" when Tony Soprano ran into him at a local eatery. (Can you imagine if Tony S. was a Met fan and the bullpen was at that restaurant?) Anaheim won the Stanley Cup… although ratings show that nobody was watching it… Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea for the NHL to move their playoff games from ESPN to the hard to find Versus network. Nothing is more exciting than a playoff OT hockey game! Also, the NBA Finals are underway and in Tennis… The French Open Final features Justine Henin Hardin who has paid tribute to the late 3 named Charles Nelson Reilly, by reverting to the more traditional two names of Justine Henin.. Although rumor has it she did so because she and her husband recently split.
As for baseball,. First we’ll take a look at the local teams.. And then we’ll take a look at the national baseball picture…
I must admit I am an odd baseball fan… I have a fantasy team so I root for odd situations to occur.. Yet my team sucks so I don’t pay too much attention to it… I’m a big Met fan.. And I don’t really like the Yankees.. But I don’t hate them as much as I did after the 2000 World Series. Of all the Yankees, the one I dislike the least is probably Alex Rodriguez.. As I have said before he is one Albert Pujols Sr, broken condom away from being the best player in baseball.
I don’t particularly like Barry Bonds. He used steroids before they were banned,… but that gray area is very hard to accept as he approaches the immortal Hank Aaron record of 755 homeruns. Watching A Rod and Bonds has led me to root for an odd combination of events. Imagine if Bonds somehow loses his ability to hit.. Kind of like the washed up player who made the comeback in the movie Mr. 3000, or George Foster when he came to the Mets…… I won’t root for the guy to get injured… but what happens if his 755th homerun comes the same day that A Rod breaks Bonds’ single season record? Wouldn’t it be the perfect punishment to his years of chemical enhancements that he breaks the Aaron record the same day his own record is broken? And which record would get more media attention? A Rod is on the Yankees.. And if Bonds record comes on one of those late night West Coast games in September.. Will anybody actually be awake in the eastern time zone to witness it? And who gets the headlines the next morning if the Bonds home run happens after the newspaper publishing deadlines?
As for the Mets… the hitters are getting bitten by the injury bug.. just as Carlos Delgado starts to wake up from his lengthy slumber.. But thankfully the pitching is really coming together. Even though they lost the 2006 pennant to St. Louis, Games 6 and 7 gave us a hint of the future since the outstanding performances of starters John Maine and Oliver Perez have continued into the 2007 season. The Mets made a couple of steals in the trades to acquire those pitchers.. Perez came over for Xavier Nady after Duaner Sanchez was injured in a taxicab crash in FL. Meanwhile, it was actually the decision to trade Ty Wigginton to Pittsburgh that got the ball rolling for Maine.. The Mets got Kris Benson and his nutty wife who they then sent to Baltimore before the 2006 season for the awful Jorge Julio who has since gone to Arizona to FL and to Colorado in a year and 2 months! Maine was a throw in in the Benson deal with Baltimore, and to top it all off,. Julio started his cross country legacy by being traded to Arizona for…. Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez… And there you have 3 of the Mets five starters!
Has any other first place team ever acquired 3/5 of their rotation with such one sided heists??
Looking back at my preseason predictions, I can see that I was as wrong as usual… Of the 6 contending NL teams I picked for the ‘07 season,… 4 look pretty solid.. I had picked the Phillies to win the division, but now it looks like they might take the wild card while the Mets win the division… a flip flop of my original pick. Then again.. The Phillies really had the Mets number this past week…. The Phillies have been shaky but much improved since their awful start and the Astros have been pretty bad in a very mediocre NL Central Division… The Brewers have been doing quite well with young Prince Fielder anchoring the infield.. Luckily all the other teams in the division have just been so awful that they may have a nice little run. However, I don’t think the Brewers are going to stay on top for much longer and if any other team in the mediocre division can rise to the top.. It really should be Houston since they have the most talent..,… even though the Astros fan may want to brace themselves for Carlos Lee’s annual 2nd half swoon.
Over in the West, my predictions of a 2 team race between LA and Arizona has been somewhat accurate even though San Diego is hanging in there, despite their old rotation. However Jake Peavy has been fantastic and the ageless Greg Maddux rolls on. . They have a great young superstar in Adrian Gonzales, and Trevor Hoffman is solid in the pen as usual.. taking the spotlight from Mariano Rivera after he became the first pitcher in baseball history to nail his 500th save.. But I don’t know long they can play with the big boys in the division. LA just got Jason Schmidt back; he twirled a 6 inning 1 hit masterpiece and that is a solid boost to the rotation.
Looking back at my original playoff predictions.. I probably have 2 of the 4 playoff teams right. NY and LA… although the Phillies and Astros both have a shot. And I seem to be on the money with the St. Louis Cardinals being the disappointment of the season. Not only did they lose most of last years rotation, but their ace Chris Carpenter has been injured and having a pitcher die in a drunk driving accident just a month after their manager was arrested in a very embarrassing DWI has made life very difficult for the defending World Champs.
Over in the AL.. the Red Sox fans are watching me eat my words.. as The Yankees are starting to think about catching Detroit for the Wild Card.. you gotta wonder how far this team will go with that pitching staff. Mike Mussina is a shadow of his former self.. Roger Clemens can’t possibly anchor a staff at his advanced age… and the revolving door of AAA pitchers who have been injured or knocked out early have just worn out an already weak bullpen.. And whatever happened to Mariano Rivera? The other surprise is how the Blue Jays have been such a disappointment… Closer BJ Ryan is out for the year and Gustavo Chacin is injured yet again…. He’s out indefinitely after 5 starts.. He only made 17 last year. The D’Rays and Orioles have been their usual losing selves… although not as bad as seasons past. The March Baseball Preview pegged the O’s bandwagon jumpers as the biggest AL disappointment of ’07.
The Central is as expected the best division in baseball. I picked the Chisox to win it with Cleveland as the Wild Card. As the Twins proved last year, you can’t count any of these teams out the way they tend to run off long winning streaks and I am far from ready to concede Chicago’s chances of making the playoffs. Cleveland has been kicking butt at home.. CC Sabathia has been amazing, and even though Cliff Lee has fallen off a bit as he recovers from injury. Fausto Carmona and Paul Byrd have picked up the slack. The Twins are getting by with young Boof Bonser joining perennial Cy Young winner Johan Santana in the rotation, and the team will only get better once catcher Joe Mauer gets back from the DL where he has been for the last month suffering from bleeding quadriceps. Ooooo.. Sounds icky.
The Angels are the team to beat in the West, as we predicted… The fans in Anaheim are hoping the Angels can be champs now that The Mighty Ducks have won the Stanley Cup! And notice how the Mariners are much improved so far this season?.. They were my pick for AL Surprise Team of 2007.
My 4 AL playoff teams were NY, Chicago, Cleveland and The Angels... It looks like 2 of those are pretty solid and I wouldn't be surprised if either the Chisox or Yankees made it as Wild Cards.. so I may have 3 out of 4 right. My pre-season pick of an Indians - Mets World Series? It still looks quite realistic.. But the Mets better root for the National League to win the All Star Game so Cleveland doesn’t get home field advantage… they have been virtually unbeatable at Jacobs Field… I’d rather see Game 1 of Pedro against CC Sabathia at Shea!
Next week: The World Premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire"... Wait till you hear how it came out!
Now time for the Clip of the Week,… next Friday is the grand finale of Bob Barker’s 50 year reign on daily TV… Here is a clip from The Price is Right in the early days.. It's incredible how expensive electronics were back then in the pre Best Buy days! In this clip from Dec. 1983, this woman hadn’t grasped the concept of a vcr! And listen out for Bob's sly little 60 Minutes wisecrack.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Life of Reilly: Who Do You Have to Blank? - A Multimedia Extravaganza
As we celebrated the beginning of spring last March 21, 2006 I wrote a column called “Where Do You Get Your News?”. It told of a Sunday night in March when I was watching Grey’s Anatomy in its old timeslot and a teaser came on for the 11 o’clock news announcing the death of local news legend Bill Beutel.. This past Sunday night, I was getting ready to watch the Sunday night Eyewitness News when just moments before airtime, the studio caught fire (off the air) knocking the station off and canceling the evening newscast. Oh well, I thought, what could possibly be going on on a Sunday Night of a holiday weekend?
Little did I know…
As I meandered around the house unpacking yet another box, Trophy Wife plopped down on our computer and started chatting on MSN Messenger using my id. While chatting with my buddy Craig, he got word of a news bulletin, and I was able to find out last weekends big news story in a rather unusual fashion,…. Through an online chat.. Here is the transcript….
Craig says:
OH NO!!!!!!
Craig says:
NATE!!!
Nate says:
what?
Craig says:
NATE!!!
Craig says:
GET NATE!!!!
Craig says:
Charles Nelson Reilly, Tony-Winning Comic Actor, Dies at 76
Craig says:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/28/theater/28reilly.html
Nate says:
get the heck outta here!
Craig says:
he died friday!
And that is how I got my news that fateful Sunday night. Today we present a multimedia extravaganza… a salute to Charles Nelson Reilly!
Chuck had been mentioned in several prior columns, including this past January 11th when a Charles Nelson Reilly t-shirt was the punch line to an otherwise true story of a man leaving a gay bar near my old Roselle house who showed an interest in getting to know ol’ Nate a little better.
Since I have been a Match Game fan from the days I was a little pisher, I thought today’s column would be a multimedia salute to Chuck. I used to love watching him bicker with Brett Somers, they were like a wacky aunt and uncle. As a kid I was totally oblivious to his gayness... heck I was decoyed when he would appear on Tattletales with one of his female acting friends.
We begin the salute with a radio interview I did with Gene Rayburn back in 1990 where he spoke very highly of the contributions Chuck made to that legendary game show. This originally appeared on the blog on January 19, 2006...
Here is a clip of Chuck on Match Game when Charles helped a woman set a new record as the show’s biggest winner.
Here is a clip where Chuck misbehaved and was sent down to the lower tier!
Here is Chuck on a 1972 episode of Ive Got a Secret in the pre-Match Game era.. Check out the other game show legends on this episode…not to mention a very very young and very very hot Price is Right model Janice Pennington!
Special thanks to Mr. Match Game for providing those 3 clips to You Tube!
And finally in his later years, Chuck did a one man show called The Life of Reilly. It was made into a movie last year that has been shown periodically around the country and will be released on dvd later this year. Like Tony Randall, Chuck was the kind of guy who didn’t want to be known for just his TV work… Chuck was an acting teacher and also was involved in many successful theatrical productions. In this trailer for his movie, he has a very interesting way of talking about breaking out of that TV persona…. We have a no obscenity rule on this blog.. But due to the context of this clip I will make a rare exception. This is not safe for work, and watch out for the salty language!
In conclusion - here is the quote posted by Pumpstradamus, a take on the traditional Jewish exchange with a mourner...
z"l C.N.R., ha'makom yenachem et'chem b'toch sha'ar avalay broadway v'matchgame.
Little did I know…
As I meandered around the house unpacking yet another box, Trophy Wife plopped down on our computer and started chatting on MSN Messenger using my id. While chatting with my buddy Craig, he got word of a news bulletin, and I was able to find out last weekends big news story in a rather unusual fashion,…. Through an online chat.. Here is the transcript….
Craig says:
OH NO!!!!!!
Craig says:
NATE!!!
Nate says:
what?
Craig says:
NATE!!!
Craig says:
GET NATE!!!!
Craig says:
Charles Nelson Reilly, Tony-Winning Comic Actor, Dies at 76
Craig says:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/28/theater/28reilly.html
Nate says:
get the heck outta here!
Craig says:
he died friday!
And that is how I got my news that fateful Sunday night. Today we present a multimedia extravaganza… a salute to Charles Nelson Reilly!
Chuck had been mentioned in several prior columns, including this past January 11th when a Charles Nelson Reilly t-shirt was the punch line to an otherwise true story of a man leaving a gay bar near my old Roselle house who showed an interest in getting to know ol’ Nate a little better.
Since I have been a Match Game fan from the days I was a little pisher, I thought today’s column would be a multimedia salute to Chuck. I used to love watching him bicker with Brett Somers, they were like a wacky aunt and uncle. As a kid I was totally oblivious to his gayness... heck I was decoyed when he would appear on Tattletales with one of his female acting friends.
We begin the salute with a radio interview I did with Gene Rayburn back in 1990 where he spoke very highly of the contributions Chuck made to that legendary game show. This originally appeared on the blog on January 19, 2006...
Here is a clip of Chuck on Match Game when Charles helped a woman set a new record as the show’s biggest winner.
Here is a clip where Chuck misbehaved and was sent down to the lower tier!
Here is Chuck on a 1972 episode of Ive Got a Secret in the pre-Match Game era.. Check out the other game show legends on this episode…not to mention a very very young and very very hot Price is Right model Janice Pennington!
Special thanks to Mr. Match Game for providing those 3 clips to You Tube!
And finally in his later years, Chuck did a one man show called The Life of Reilly. It was made into a movie last year that has been shown periodically around the country and will be released on dvd later this year. Like Tony Randall, Chuck was the kind of guy who didn’t want to be known for just his TV work… Chuck was an acting teacher and also was involved in many successful theatrical productions. In this trailer for his movie, he has a very interesting way of talking about breaking out of that TV persona…. We have a no obscenity rule on this blog.. But due to the context of this clip I will make a rare exception. This is not safe for work, and watch out for the salty language!
In conclusion - here is the quote posted by Pumpstradamus, a take on the traditional Jewish exchange with a mourner...
z"l C.N.R., ha'makom yenachem et'chem b'toch sha'ar avalay broadway v'matchgame.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
TV Quarterly Report Part I - Jacks and Noahs
Well folks it seems like we missed our last TV 1st quarter report with all the hullaballoo involving my big move… However now that the TV season has officially concluded with the crowning of the new American Idol and the stunning conclusion to Lost.. Its time to look back. By the way we will have the Baseball quarterly report within a wk or so for those of you who have been waiting for that.. But this past week’s TV season finales were so stunning.. I had to rearrange the columns a little bit.
TV really has changed.. mostly due to the original shows being cranked out by the cable networks combined with the popularity of the reality shows and serialized programs. The old days of network seasons running from September to May are as out of date as the small TV Guide Fall Preview magazine. Now, networks realize that they have to shoe - horn the shorter seasons of the popular shows so in reality the season really seems to start in January when American Idol and 24 get underway. Why start in September…. You have the baseball playoffs and The World Series.. Then you have a few sweeps wks in November before the holiday season starts… it seems that TV really is a vast wasteland till January! HBO schedules its popular shows like The Sopranos whenever they damn well please, and now based on the fact that AI, the most popular show runs on its own schedule.. the networks have followed suit. Jack Shepherd’s bizarre airport reunion with Kate that served as the finale to the 3rd season of Lost will not continue until next January.
Today I am going to float yet another one of my bizarre Lost theories. . Just remember.. I have had some on the money predictions in this column… especially the recent one that the family of the late St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock would sue the bar where he got drunk prior to his fatal crash. What I didn’t predict is that they would sue the driver of the disabled car whose life was saved when the intoxicated Hancock smashed into a tow truck that was helping the driver. I sympathize with the Hancock family over their loss, but grief has overtaken the brain cells and common sense cells. The Hancocks are suing Justin Tolar saying that he didn’t properly maintain his car which caused him to stall out on the side of the road! Of course if Hancock’s car had not been blocked by the tow truck he would have smacked right into Tolar. Had Hancock survived and went on trial for Tolar’s death, would his lawyers defense be that it’s Tolar’s fault because he didn’t maintain his car?? Hancock’s blood alcohol level was double the legal amount.. he was on a cell phone.. and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and now Tolar has to dig into his pockets to pay a lawyer to defend himself against Hancock’s high powered lawyer! And if he doesn’t have the money to fight the lawsuit.. they could win a judgment against him and put a lien on his house! Unbelievable!
LOST/ DÉJÀ VU TIE IN Lets address the Lost finale first… and toss in my own rogue theory. I am a really big fan of Jerry Bruckheimer… This is the man who has brought us The Amazing Race, the CSIs and every other one hour non serialized show on CBS.. One of these days on CSI Miami David Caruso will prepare to say an over acted dramatic line and will reach in his pocket for his sunglasses… only to find out that they aren’t there. I can just see him fumbling around for them while not being able to spit out his brilliant line that tosses the show to the opening theme song. “Mr. Wolfe, my glasses appear to be….. Missing….”
Anyway, last summer Bruckheimer produced the movie Déjà Vu which brings up some interesting questions about what really went down on Lost. While all the internet bulletin boards say that the flashbacks were flash forwards… I have another idea.. In Déjà Vu, the main character Doug Karlin hooks up with the FBI to go back in time to prevent terrorists from blowing up a boat. However, at the end of the movie it occurs to the viewer that Karlin kept going back in time until he got it right,… so what we saw in the movie Déjà Vu was not really the first time he was on this mission… (He kept leaving clues for himself for the next time around.. Go see the movie if this is confusing!)
Well.. What happens if Lost is the same idea? Karlin was on a mission and had to keep going back till he got it right… maybe Jack was on a mission to go to the island until he “got it right”. Do you really think ABC would allow the show to become a tale of the Losties post island after a similar concept flopped so badly on “The Nine”? My theory is the flashback was not a flash forward…. and Jack is on a mission on that island until he gets it right. Therefore he crashed on the island knowing all along that he had something he had to do.. And Kate knew him and is in on it.. I know there is an issue with the very modern cell phone he was using in the flash back/forward… . Just remember that cell phones produced in Asia and Europe are much more advanced than the ones sold here, and a lot of people here like to import their cell phones.. I read the Washington Post Tech column - some of these phones of the future are so advanced they can core a apple! Another thing to keep in mind that all of the plane crash survivors on the island are basically unhappy people. Hurley feels cursed after he won the lottery.. The pregnant Korean woman cheated on her husband.. Rose has cancer.. Locke can’t walk.. Etc. There could be something to the theory that they are happier in their little island society. Maybe they were all on a field trip for Tsuris Anonymous.
There are 3 characters who make me wonder about this scenario… Jack, Kate, and Juliet… Lets say he would have gotten off with Juliet as was the original deal, before Locke blew up the boat. Would he have wanted to come back for the rest of them? Yet here he is back in the real world with Kate and he feels that he has some unfinished business. And Kate is always eager to go back and rescue people… now she’s happy to be back home? Unless of course they were rescued and USA time doesn’t correspond with Island time and they are at a point where Jack’s dad is alive and Kate has not been arrested for murder!
The question in my mind is who is to say that the first 3 seasons are not his “return mission”? And if there is an agenda…. maybe it behooves Kate and Jack to act like they don’t know each other… Of course, the whole agenda wouldn't involve rescuing the Losties.. They weren’t stranded there before their own plane crash. . (And Jack actually makes a comment about surviving another plane crash and not caring about the other passengers.. Hmmm) Maybe something else is on the island that he came back for.. And now is the time for him to leave with “it“….. Its unlikely it’s the others… since Jack kicked some major Ben ass… Or.. Maybe there was someone else somewhere in that crazy island? Or Survivors of Dharma? Or maybe it’s a time travel thing where he can save the people that Ben murdered. Hey, it worked on Heroes where Hiro went to the future to figure out how to change the past.. Why can’t Lost use it too?
To paraphrase eBay…. What is “it” that Jack needs to bring back? And it looks like he found “it” since he is very eager to get the heck outta there. Could “it” be Juliet? They’re both brilliant doctors…plus Elizabeth Mitchell is hotter than a pistol!! (While youre renting Deja vu.. Pick up the movie Gia)… He had a little smoochie kiss w/ her but moments later did tell Kate that he loves her. Maybe his mission is to bring her back because she holds the key to some amazing medical breakthrough in the real world that the others recruited her to do for them? She did pull off some incredible scientific feats prior to her departure to Lost Island.
SPEAKING OF JACK.. It looks like Jack Bauer and his compatriots at 24 are getting the shark jumping gear ready. They haven’t jumped it just yet.. But they are on the beach getting their flippers ready.. That is of course unless they can turn things around with a “new concept” we are being promised for 2008. Maybe they will have hot babes holding 24 suitcase bombs and each week Jack Bauer asks another one to “open the case”. One highlight was Powers Boothe rendition of Noah Daniels.. The craziest vice president since Dick Cheney. His overacting was actually getting enjoyable and the way his lovely blonde assistant totally cheated on him with a spy when he thought they were in love actually led to the creation of a fascinating new character. This after they wasted the talents of the Logans and Aaron Pierce from last season in one exciting episode that had zero follow up. I’m giving 24 a free pass for this season.. But things better pick up next year. After all, how long can I go on watching 24 live and Heroes on NBC.com on Tuesday might? And those of us who do that, have to be social outcasts every Tuesday to avoid any watercooler Heroes chat.
SPEAKING OF NOAH - So the horned rim glasses guy in Heroes is named Noah, eh… Wow.. I Just loved that finale.. Although I did get a bit distracted when I saw that both the cheerleader and Ali Larter were finally in a scene together. Va va voom!! “Save The Cheerleader Save the World” became quite relevant at the end of the season when it became obvious that the earlier episode that kept her away from the power hungry brain eating Sylar prevented him from acquiring her talent of being un-killable. You gotta give the producers credit.. They took an incredibly preposterous idea and turned it into a wildly entertaining television show.. I mean this episode featured home nurse Peter Petrelli finding out that his patient from the first episode knew all along about Petrelli’s role in the upcoming explosion? And he has the ability to communicate with time traveling Peter Petrelli and regular time Peter Petrelli at the same time. And at the end, ol Nate turns out to be a good man… Brilliant! Now we gotta find out if Sylar survives… I think Zachary Quinto already clinched his Emmy. And who is the boogie man that the little cutie pie/human lojack was speaking of? And what is the true identity of the character who can change her/his appearance at will? My only complaint is they didn’t do too much with that nice Jewish Girl Hannah Gitelman aka Wireless who was in and out in one episode. Heroes is currently the best show on TV.. Even better than 24... The Heroes finale has less watercooler talk than Lost.. But definitely a fantastic season!
Coming Soon: In Part II, we will talk about other new shows that caught my fancy this season, and a look ahead at the new TV season.
Now time for the clip of the week.... and our salute to the retiring game show legend Bob Barker. Today we present the first segment of the episode that started it all... keep an eye out for the first item up for bids, and what the legal rights holders did to the episode to make Bob happy!
Speaking of game show legends.. I just heard as I was posting this that my old pal Charles Nelson Reilly has passed away. Here's a pic of Chuck to look at before you watch Bob!
TV really has changed.. mostly due to the original shows being cranked out by the cable networks combined with the popularity of the reality shows and serialized programs. The old days of network seasons running from September to May are as out of date as the small TV Guide Fall Preview magazine. Now, networks realize that they have to shoe - horn the shorter seasons of the popular shows so in reality the season really seems to start in January when American Idol and 24 get underway. Why start in September…. You have the baseball playoffs and The World Series.. Then you have a few sweeps wks in November before the holiday season starts… it seems that TV really is a vast wasteland till January! HBO schedules its popular shows like The Sopranos whenever they damn well please, and now based on the fact that AI, the most popular show runs on its own schedule.. the networks have followed suit. Jack Shepherd’s bizarre airport reunion with Kate that served as the finale to the 3rd season of Lost will not continue until next January.
Today I am going to float yet another one of my bizarre Lost theories. . Just remember.. I have had some on the money predictions in this column… especially the recent one that the family of the late St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock would sue the bar where he got drunk prior to his fatal crash. What I didn’t predict is that they would sue the driver of the disabled car whose life was saved when the intoxicated Hancock smashed into a tow truck that was helping the driver. I sympathize with the Hancock family over their loss, but grief has overtaken the brain cells and common sense cells. The Hancocks are suing Justin Tolar saying that he didn’t properly maintain his car which caused him to stall out on the side of the road! Of course if Hancock’s car had not been blocked by the tow truck he would have smacked right into Tolar. Had Hancock survived and went on trial for Tolar’s death, would his lawyers defense be that it’s Tolar’s fault because he didn’t maintain his car?? Hancock’s blood alcohol level was double the legal amount.. he was on a cell phone.. and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and now Tolar has to dig into his pockets to pay a lawyer to defend himself against Hancock’s high powered lawyer! And if he doesn’t have the money to fight the lawsuit.. they could win a judgment against him and put a lien on his house! Unbelievable!
LOST/ DÉJÀ VU TIE IN Lets address the Lost finale first… and toss in my own rogue theory. I am a really big fan of Jerry Bruckheimer… This is the man who has brought us The Amazing Race, the CSIs and every other one hour non serialized show on CBS.. One of these days on CSI Miami David Caruso will prepare to say an over acted dramatic line and will reach in his pocket for his sunglasses… only to find out that they aren’t there. I can just see him fumbling around for them while not being able to spit out his brilliant line that tosses the show to the opening theme song. “Mr. Wolfe, my glasses appear to be….. Missing….”
Anyway, last summer Bruckheimer produced the movie Déjà Vu which brings up some interesting questions about what really went down on Lost. While all the internet bulletin boards say that the flashbacks were flash forwards… I have another idea.. In Déjà Vu, the main character Doug Karlin hooks up with the FBI to go back in time to prevent terrorists from blowing up a boat. However, at the end of the movie it occurs to the viewer that Karlin kept going back in time until he got it right,… so what we saw in the movie Déjà Vu was not really the first time he was on this mission… (He kept leaving clues for himself for the next time around.. Go see the movie if this is confusing!)
Well.. What happens if Lost is the same idea? Karlin was on a mission and had to keep going back till he got it right… maybe Jack was on a mission to go to the island until he “got it right”. Do you really think ABC would allow the show to become a tale of the Losties post island after a similar concept flopped so badly on “The Nine”? My theory is the flashback was not a flash forward…. and Jack is on a mission on that island until he gets it right. Therefore he crashed on the island knowing all along that he had something he had to do.. And Kate knew him and is in on it.. I know there is an issue with the very modern cell phone he was using in the flash back/forward… . Just remember that cell phones produced in Asia and Europe are much more advanced than the ones sold here, and a lot of people here like to import their cell phones.. I read the Washington Post Tech column - some of these phones of the future are so advanced they can core a apple! Another thing to keep in mind that all of the plane crash survivors on the island are basically unhappy people. Hurley feels cursed after he won the lottery.. The pregnant Korean woman cheated on her husband.. Rose has cancer.. Locke can’t walk.. Etc. There could be something to the theory that they are happier in their little island society. Maybe they were all on a field trip for Tsuris Anonymous.
There are 3 characters who make me wonder about this scenario… Jack, Kate, and Juliet… Lets say he would have gotten off with Juliet as was the original deal, before Locke blew up the boat. Would he have wanted to come back for the rest of them? Yet here he is back in the real world with Kate and he feels that he has some unfinished business. And Kate is always eager to go back and rescue people… now she’s happy to be back home? Unless of course they were rescued and USA time doesn’t correspond with Island time and they are at a point where Jack’s dad is alive and Kate has not been arrested for murder!
The question in my mind is who is to say that the first 3 seasons are not his “return mission”? And if there is an agenda…. maybe it behooves Kate and Jack to act like they don’t know each other… Of course, the whole agenda wouldn't involve rescuing the Losties.. They weren’t stranded there before their own plane crash. . (And Jack actually makes a comment about surviving another plane crash and not caring about the other passengers.. Hmmm) Maybe something else is on the island that he came back for.. And now is the time for him to leave with “it“….. Its unlikely it’s the others… since Jack kicked some major Ben ass… Or.. Maybe there was someone else somewhere in that crazy island? Or Survivors of Dharma? Or maybe it’s a time travel thing where he can save the people that Ben murdered. Hey, it worked on Heroes where Hiro went to the future to figure out how to change the past.. Why can’t Lost use it too?
To paraphrase eBay…. What is “it” that Jack needs to bring back? And it looks like he found “it” since he is very eager to get the heck outta there. Could “it” be Juliet? They’re both brilliant doctors…plus Elizabeth Mitchell is hotter than a pistol!! (While youre renting Deja vu.. Pick up the movie Gia)… He had a little smoochie kiss w/ her but moments later did tell Kate that he loves her. Maybe his mission is to bring her back because she holds the key to some amazing medical breakthrough in the real world that the others recruited her to do for them? She did pull off some incredible scientific feats prior to her departure to Lost Island.
SPEAKING OF JACK.. It looks like Jack Bauer and his compatriots at 24 are getting the shark jumping gear ready. They haven’t jumped it just yet.. But they are on the beach getting their flippers ready.. That is of course unless they can turn things around with a “new concept” we are being promised for 2008. Maybe they will have hot babes holding 24 suitcase bombs and each week Jack Bauer asks another one to “open the case”. One highlight was Powers Boothe rendition of Noah Daniels.. The craziest vice president since Dick Cheney. His overacting was actually getting enjoyable and the way his lovely blonde assistant totally cheated on him with a spy when he thought they were in love actually led to the creation of a fascinating new character. This after they wasted the talents of the Logans and Aaron Pierce from last season in one exciting episode that had zero follow up. I’m giving 24 a free pass for this season.. But things better pick up next year. After all, how long can I go on watching 24 live and Heroes on NBC.com on Tuesday might? And those of us who do that, have to be social outcasts every Tuesday to avoid any watercooler Heroes chat.
SPEAKING OF NOAH - So the horned rim glasses guy in Heroes is named Noah, eh… Wow.. I Just loved that finale.. Although I did get a bit distracted when I saw that both the cheerleader and Ali Larter were finally in a scene together. Va va voom!! “Save The Cheerleader Save the World” became quite relevant at the end of the season when it became obvious that the earlier episode that kept her away from the power hungry brain eating Sylar prevented him from acquiring her talent of being un-killable. You gotta give the producers credit.. They took an incredibly preposterous idea and turned it into a wildly entertaining television show.. I mean this episode featured home nurse Peter Petrelli finding out that his patient from the first episode knew all along about Petrelli’s role in the upcoming explosion? And he has the ability to communicate with time traveling Peter Petrelli and regular time Peter Petrelli at the same time. And at the end, ol Nate turns out to be a good man… Brilliant! Now we gotta find out if Sylar survives… I think Zachary Quinto already clinched his Emmy. And who is the boogie man that the little cutie pie/human lojack was speaking of? And what is the true identity of the character who can change her/his appearance at will? My only complaint is they didn’t do too much with that nice Jewish Girl Hannah Gitelman aka Wireless who was in and out in one episode. Heroes is currently the best show on TV.. Even better than 24... The Heroes finale has less watercooler talk than Lost.. But definitely a fantastic season!
Coming Soon: In Part II, we will talk about other new shows that caught my fancy this season, and a look ahead at the new TV season.
Now time for the clip of the week.... and our salute to the retiring game show legend Bob Barker. Today we present the first segment of the episode that started it all... keep an eye out for the first item up for bids, and what the legal rights holders did to the episode to make Bob happy!
Speaking of game show legends.. I just heard as I was posting this that my old pal Charles Nelson Reilly has passed away. Here's a pic of Chuck to look at before you watch Bob!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The Misadventures of Getting a Hotel Room for 20 Dollars Less
Greetings folks from Sharon Massachusetts where today’s column is originating from….… Trophy Wife and I arrived here very late the other night to attend a Bar Mitzvah on Saturday Morning. If you ever go to Sharon be careful about the deceptively cheap Econo Lodge. We left Edison Friday night and hit the highway at Old Post Road and Route 1.… and even though the web said it would take 4:20, 5 hours later we arrived at the Econo Lodge in Sharon, MA which is at the intersection of Old Post Road… and Route 1! We arrived at 2am.. and I had told them we would be arriving late in the evening. .. Upon our arrival, we were greeted by the man behind the desk who was wearing an eye patch that reminded me of a cross between Moshe Dayan and Mikahel from Lost.
By the way check out the archives from May 2006 about my Lost theories, and you will see how I nailed it on how the whole Dharma/Others relationship parallels the Settlers/American Indians.. although with with a very different ending. It was cool to see how Ben was born - I fully expected his dad to take the newborn and toss him across the highway like a football just like the actor’s other persona - Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico… “They shoulda put me in… we would have been state champs!” And speaking of dynamite.. Danielle who seems to be a regular pro with TNT,…. Is she also little Annie in the Ben flashbacks? Or maybe the little girl who can track things on Heroes? And is Linderman (Malcolm McDowell) who cured Mrs. Peterelli’s paralysis responsible for Locke’s ability to walk?
And the hour before Lost last Wednesday, while the rest of the universe was watching American Idol… I, along with probably only Mandy Patinkin’s family watched Criminal Minds on CBS. What a disturbing story.. An obsessive cop from Kansas City contacts the FBI when he notices prostitutes and vagrants seemingly disappearing off the streets. It turns out nobody cares about these poor nebbishy people who as it turns out have all been abducted by a wacko. That same day Opie and Anthony had a homeless guy on who talked about wanting to have sex with Condoleeza Rice and now in this post Imus PC era... everybody is blasting O and A for that show, and now they are suspended from their satellite broadcast for a month! The truth is the streets of America are filled with mentally ill homeless people whose crazy utterances are a sign that they have a lot of problems. Why exactly is this O and A’s fault that this one guy’s comment is quite representative of the mental illness that permeates people living on the street… and that we have turned our backs on these people?
So back to Patch at The Econo Lodge.. At first he couldn’t find our reservation.. As the clock ticked closer to 2;30 in the morning…after about several minutes of fumbling around he found my name and gave us a computerized key. Usually motor lodges have parking spots right in front of the room.. But this one didn’t;.. We parked in front of a different building and proceeded to shlep out stuff up a flight of stairs knowing that services at the synagogue were going to start approximately 6 and a half hours later and all we wanted to do was hit the sack and sleep.
At the door, Trophy Wife scanned the key and the little green light went on allowing us to open the door.. Which we did.. Only to realize that the chain was up! Being it was so late and we were so tired I thought I was seeing things.. We looked at the room number and saw it matched the number 420 on the key envelope. Too stunned to believe what I had just seen, I grabbed the key card and swiped it a second time. Again... the chain was blocking us.. “Uh Nate.. “ said Trophy Wife.. “I believe somebody is already in our room”… “How can that be?” I proclaimed loud enough to wake a person up and noticed the room was filled with somebody’s stuff.. Yet that somebody who was in the room very silent.. Asleep… dead… or possibly crouched behind the door with a gun.
As we walked back to the hotel desk Trophy Wife asked if we could just spring an extra few bucks and go to the Holiday Inn across the road… However since this hotel was sold out.. I was sure the much nicer and very tempting Holiday Inn was sold out too and I just didn’t have the energy to shlep stuff back to the car and across the street. We decided to give Patch one more chance hoping he just made a late night boo boo.
Back to Patch we went.. And I could swear he winked at my wife. I explained the dilemma and he was quite stunned.. OK he said.. We have 2 no shows.. So I’ll give you the key to one of those rooms.. As he was getting the key cards ready I asked him the 64,000 dollar question of how this possibly could have happened.. never realizing his answer sealed his fate. “Oh you see” Patch replied…”sometimes after we clean the room we THINK the people check out of the room.. But then they come back later in the day to spend another night here”.
Huh? Obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly because that should have set off the warning sirens.. And hopefully it will for anyone who wanders here after they google Econolodge in Sharon MA… Too tired to even think straight we trudged back up the stairs to room number 2. Trophy was begging me to just forget it and go to the Holiday Inn and if I had thought about the ludicrous logic of a motel not knowing who is staying in which room I would have bolted momentarily.. Especially since anyone could come into our room if we didn’t leave the chain up. We arrived at room no, 2 with our stuff… swiped the key card and…. Nothing,…. Did it again.. Nothing. It was almost like a buzzer went off like when 4 people overbid on The Price is Right. Again we checked to see that the room and key card matched.. And it did..
So it was off to the Holiday Inn… where we had a very short sleep after we finally got into our room after 3 oclock in the morning… and after all this craziness I didn’t fall asleep until 4:20. I did go back to the EconoLodge at around 245, and in the nicest possibly way told Norman Bates Jr. that he failed his test and I would not be staying at his establishment, He was nice about it and apologized profusely but all I wanted was a reassurance that my credit card wouldn’t be billed.. I stupidly billed it on a credit/debit card and so far no charges are there! If they try to charge me.. I’m posting links to today’s column on every hotel review/Massachusetts tourism website!
Hours later we attended the bar mitzvah. The kid did a nice job, and the neat thing about going to services across the country is its like a Broadway Musical.. They always sing the same songs except for services for Reform and the ultra ultra Orthodox who don’t sing the same tunes. At this service, it was the same comforting familiar songs… including the usual tune for the last song of the service.. Adon Olam. As they got to the last line of the song… I bolted out of my chair with joyful enthusiasm that services had concluded at the manageable hour of 11:15... But before I could do my traditional end of service Porky Pig Ibbidy Ibbidy Ibbidy…. Th Th That’s All Folks!…. there was silence… everybody but me was still seated… and then I realized that the Rabbi was about to make his speech… Oops…
Interestingly enough, at the buffet line I introduced myself to a woman in line in front of me who I had heard lives in Edison. The woman mentioned something about belonging to the same national women’s organization that Trophy Wife is very involved in. As I mentioned to this woman that my wife belongs to that group, she saw out of the corner of my eye that Trophy Wife had just gotten on line. With sheer jubilation she yelled out to a familiar face.. my wife..… “Trophy Trophy! How are you?” A hearing impaired gentleman in line looked at me, as I sneakily cut in front of the Edison woman's reunion, and asked me “Kosher?”… “No” I replied.. “She said Trophy…. Not traify!”
I really liked the synagogue and one of the highlights of the Rabbi’s speech was when he started talking about Marshall McLuhan! As soon as he mentioned M Mc.. (not to be confused with Malcolm McDowell or Melanie McGuire) I looked to my left and looked to my right in sheer terror and noticed with amazement how gutsy this Rabbi was to quote and analyze the writings of Marshall McLuhan… without any concern of who might rise from the woodwork to rebut his views on Marshall McLuhan. If you saw the movie Annie Hall. (it aired this Wed on TMC opposite Criminal Minds and The Price is Right Prime Time Adios Bob Barker Special) Woody Allen is in line at a movie theater and a know it all in line tries to impress his movie date by analyzing something Marshall McLuhan had said. Just then from out of the woodwork, stepped out - Marshall McLuhan right into the movie line… and he goes right up to the know it all and starts to berate the poor shlub in front of his chickie by telling him he knows nothing about Marshall McLuhan! (A hearing impaired gentleman in line asked.. "Mr. Jew Fan?" "No" replied a moviegoer "He said McLuhan!"
The Rabbi bravely continued with his Marshall McLuhan comments despite the historical potential repercussions.. But thankfully…. nobody said anything.. You could hear crickets the room was so silent….. And as I scanned the room it occurred to me that if Marshall McLuhan happened to be in Sharon, MA at that very moment… he was not at that synagogue!!
Perhaps he was still sleeping at a room at the Econo Lodge?
Now time for the Clip of the Week.. This week we begin our salute to game show legend Bob Barker who is retiring next month after a 50 year career. Here is a goofball who has an obsession with …..the number 420! Reread the column and yours truly may have peppered a few here too!
And PS - Mr. McLuhan died on Dec, 31, 1980.
By the way check out the archives from May 2006 about my Lost theories, and you will see how I nailed it on how the whole Dharma/Others relationship parallels the Settlers/American Indians.. although with with a very different ending. It was cool to see how Ben was born - I fully expected his dad to take the newborn and toss him across the highway like a football just like the actor’s other persona - Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico… “They shoulda put me in… we would have been state champs!” And speaking of dynamite.. Danielle who seems to be a regular pro with TNT,…. Is she also little Annie in the Ben flashbacks? Or maybe the little girl who can track things on Heroes? And is Linderman (Malcolm McDowell) who cured Mrs. Peterelli’s paralysis responsible for Locke’s ability to walk?
And the hour before Lost last Wednesday, while the rest of the universe was watching American Idol… I, along with probably only Mandy Patinkin’s family watched Criminal Minds on CBS. What a disturbing story.. An obsessive cop from Kansas City contacts the FBI when he notices prostitutes and vagrants seemingly disappearing off the streets. It turns out nobody cares about these poor nebbishy people who as it turns out have all been abducted by a wacko. That same day Opie and Anthony had a homeless guy on who talked about wanting to have sex with Condoleeza Rice and now in this post Imus PC era... everybody is blasting O and A for that show, and now they are suspended from their satellite broadcast for a month! The truth is the streets of America are filled with mentally ill homeless people whose crazy utterances are a sign that they have a lot of problems. Why exactly is this O and A’s fault that this one guy’s comment is quite representative of the mental illness that permeates people living on the street… and that we have turned our backs on these people?
So back to Patch at The Econo Lodge.. At first he couldn’t find our reservation.. As the clock ticked closer to 2;30 in the morning…after about several minutes of fumbling around he found my name and gave us a computerized key. Usually motor lodges have parking spots right in front of the room.. But this one didn’t;.. We parked in front of a different building and proceeded to shlep out stuff up a flight of stairs knowing that services at the synagogue were going to start approximately 6 and a half hours later and all we wanted to do was hit the sack and sleep.
At the door, Trophy Wife scanned the key and the little green light went on allowing us to open the door.. Which we did.. Only to realize that the chain was up! Being it was so late and we were so tired I thought I was seeing things.. We looked at the room number and saw it matched the number 420 on the key envelope. Too stunned to believe what I had just seen, I grabbed the key card and swiped it a second time. Again... the chain was blocking us.. “Uh Nate.. “ said Trophy Wife.. “I believe somebody is already in our room”… “How can that be?” I proclaimed loud enough to wake a person up and noticed the room was filled with somebody’s stuff.. Yet that somebody who was in the room very silent.. Asleep… dead… or possibly crouched behind the door with a gun.
As we walked back to the hotel desk Trophy Wife asked if we could just spring an extra few bucks and go to the Holiday Inn across the road… However since this hotel was sold out.. I was sure the much nicer and very tempting Holiday Inn was sold out too and I just didn’t have the energy to shlep stuff back to the car and across the street. We decided to give Patch one more chance hoping he just made a late night boo boo.
Back to Patch we went.. And I could swear he winked at my wife. I explained the dilemma and he was quite stunned.. OK he said.. We have 2 no shows.. So I’ll give you the key to one of those rooms.. As he was getting the key cards ready I asked him the 64,000 dollar question of how this possibly could have happened.. never realizing his answer sealed his fate. “Oh you see” Patch replied…”sometimes after we clean the room we THINK the people check out of the room.. But then they come back later in the day to spend another night here”.
Huh? Obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly because that should have set off the warning sirens.. And hopefully it will for anyone who wanders here after they google Econolodge in Sharon MA… Too tired to even think straight we trudged back up the stairs to room number 2. Trophy was begging me to just forget it and go to the Holiday Inn and if I had thought about the ludicrous logic of a motel not knowing who is staying in which room I would have bolted momentarily.. Especially since anyone could come into our room if we didn’t leave the chain up. We arrived at room no, 2 with our stuff… swiped the key card and…. Nothing,…. Did it again.. Nothing. It was almost like a buzzer went off like when 4 people overbid on The Price is Right. Again we checked to see that the room and key card matched.. And it did..
So it was off to the Holiday Inn… where we had a very short sleep after we finally got into our room after 3 oclock in the morning… and after all this craziness I didn’t fall asleep until 4:20. I did go back to the EconoLodge at around 245, and in the nicest possibly way told Norman Bates Jr. that he failed his test and I would not be staying at his establishment, He was nice about it and apologized profusely but all I wanted was a reassurance that my credit card wouldn’t be billed.. I stupidly billed it on a credit/debit card and so far no charges are there! If they try to charge me.. I’m posting links to today’s column on every hotel review/Massachusetts tourism website!
Hours later we attended the bar mitzvah. The kid did a nice job, and the neat thing about going to services across the country is its like a Broadway Musical.. They always sing the same songs except for services for Reform and the ultra ultra Orthodox who don’t sing the same tunes. At this service, it was the same comforting familiar songs… including the usual tune for the last song of the service.. Adon Olam. As they got to the last line of the song… I bolted out of my chair with joyful enthusiasm that services had concluded at the manageable hour of 11:15... But before I could do my traditional end of service Porky Pig Ibbidy Ibbidy Ibbidy…. Th Th That’s All Folks!…. there was silence… everybody but me was still seated… and then I realized that the Rabbi was about to make his speech… Oops…
Interestingly enough, at the buffet line I introduced myself to a woman in line in front of me who I had heard lives in Edison. The woman mentioned something about belonging to the same national women’s organization that Trophy Wife is very involved in. As I mentioned to this woman that my wife belongs to that group, she saw out of the corner of my eye that Trophy Wife had just gotten on line. With sheer jubilation she yelled out to a familiar face.. my wife..… “Trophy Trophy! How are you?” A hearing impaired gentleman in line looked at me, as I sneakily cut in front of the Edison woman's reunion, and asked me “Kosher?”… “No” I replied.. “She said Trophy…. Not traify!”
I really liked the synagogue and one of the highlights of the Rabbi’s speech was when he started talking about Marshall McLuhan! As soon as he mentioned M Mc.. (not to be confused with Malcolm McDowell or Melanie McGuire) I looked to my left and looked to my right in sheer terror and noticed with amazement how gutsy this Rabbi was to quote and analyze the writings of Marshall McLuhan… without any concern of who might rise from the woodwork to rebut his views on Marshall McLuhan. If you saw the movie Annie Hall. (it aired this Wed on TMC opposite Criminal Minds and The Price is Right Prime Time Adios Bob Barker Special) Woody Allen is in line at a movie theater and a know it all in line tries to impress his movie date by analyzing something Marshall McLuhan had said. Just then from out of the woodwork, stepped out - Marshall McLuhan right into the movie line… and he goes right up to the know it all and starts to berate the poor shlub in front of his chickie by telling him he knows nothing about Marshall McLuhan! (A hearing impaired gentleman in line asked.. "Mr. Jew Fan?" "No" replied a moviegoer "He said McLuhan!"
The Rabbi bravely continued with his Marshall McLuhan comments despite the historical potential repercussions.. But thankfully…. nobody said anything.. You could hear crickets the room was so silent….. And as I scanned the room it occurred to me that if Marshall McLuhan happened to be in Sharon, MA at that very moment… he was not at that synagogue!!
Perhaps he was still sleeping at a room at the Econo Lodge?
Now time for the Clip of the Week.. This week we begin our salute to game show legend Bob Barker who is retiring next month after a 50 year career. Here is a goofball who has an obsession with …..the number 420! Reread the column and yours truly may have peppered a few here too!
And PS - Mr. McLuhan died on Dec, 31, 1980.
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