Now that the summer is over and Jerry Lewis has sung "You Will Never Walk Alone..." .. its time to get back to the ol' blog.. and we begin the fall season with a movie club movie review. Its Part 4 of our 4 part retrospective on Robert Altman and we wrap things up with a look at his 1993 film "Short Cuts", At the end of today's column we will announce the next movie club anthology!
There are 4 people... all dead... who make a major contribution to this movie... Hence a reunion is out of the question! The late Chris Penn and Jack Lemmon stand out among 21+ actors by turning in especially stunning acting performances, especially Lemmon who was such a likeable guy but ended up playing an incredible shmuck in this film....Raymond Carver wrote the short stories that inspired the movie directed by Robert Altman who took several Carver stories and wove them all together in a Nashville-eque series of scenes that turn into an incredibly long 3 hour plus movie! That movie is almost as long as Tuesday night's Nadal Ferrer match at the US Open.. and why oh why do they start matches so late when the last train back to NJ leaves Penn Station at 1:30 AM?
Here is a clip from the trailer
Nowadays, this movie draws a lot of comparisons to last years Oscar winner "Crash" because you meet the characters in the beginning and you think you understand them based on preconcieved notions, but it turns out that those opinions are way off. In "Short Cuts", there are so many people flying by in the 1st half hour that you make mental notes that this person is happy... this one is miserable. It's incredible how the happy people get less happy and the miserable people get less miserable until you realize they are all pretty much the same.
It's kind of like the political landscape of the early 1990s when this movie was made. Not to go on a Dennis Miller rant, but Democrats and Republicans were very similar in their philosophy, as opposed to now where both parties have grown far apart.. yet despite the differences these politicians are still basically the same. Back then, Monica Lewinsky wasn't known to anyone except maybe Matt Drudge. All of a sudden while President Clinton was being questioned under oath about Whitewater, some Republican wiseass drops in a question about extra marital affairs with Lewinsky and the next thing you know the GOP is trying to impeach the guy. Fast forward to 2007, Larry Craig gets caught trying to put the shmaneuver on a male undercover cop. Even though the party dumped him pretty quick, a lot of his Republican supporters say he was framed as part of a big witch hunt. However, as it turns out Craig is just as big a liar as Clinton was when he got before the cameras and and announced "I am not gay and have never been gay". Despite what his right wing supporters say, this was no isolated incident and there have been gay rumors flying about this guy for years.... The "gay code" between toilet stalls involve a complicated series of steps and movements that Debbie Allen couldn't choreograph. And telling a cop his reach to the ground was to grab some toilet paper? This coming from a US Senator who probably has never touched a toilet handle in a public bathroom and likely flushes a urinal with his shoe! He should have said he was reaching to pick up a copy of the Star Tribune to see if Justin Morneau had any homers for his fantasy baseball team. Maybe Craig should take a page out of Jim McGreevey's playbook and came out as a Gay American and this story wouldn't have bumped the absurd NAACP defense of dog killer Michael Vick to the back pages of the paper! But then again, Craig and his GOP buddies have spent years blocking legislation for gay rights that everyone would realize his hypocrisy reaches J Edgar Hoover-ian proportions.
Getting back to the movie, Short Cuts is similar to Altman's M*A*S*H and Nashville as there really is no plot per se.. just a huge cast of characters whose storylines intersect like a Seinfeld episiode, except unlike that legendary sitcom, things dont end wrapped up in a happy ending. The actual plot that runs during the movie involves a young boy who runs into the street and is hit by a car driven by a waitress played by Lily Tomlin. The kid tells Tomlin hes ok and goes home.... but hours later the after effects of the accident start to kick in. Tomlin goes home to her trailer park... while the kid's dad... a local tv editorial commentator... hangs out at the hospital hoping that his kid can pull through in time for his birthday while the local baker sits furious not realizing why the kids mom never picked up or paid for the expensive birthday cake!
The concept of a local TV channel having an editorial commentator doesnt exist now except for Family Guy's Peter Griffin's brief gig where he talked about what grinds his gears..., Those local editorials were very popular in the early 1990s when this movie was produced along with big klunky cell phones... (as seen when Penn's pool boy character uses an old klunky cell phone while watching the hottie next door neighbor go skinny dipping), and women not getting bikini waxes... (as seen when Penn's pool boy character uses an old klunky cell phone....)
Once you figure out who's who, you start to see how the characters lives interact in a Crash-eque kind of way. The father of the young boy has Penn over to clean his pool and an older woman next door asks him to come to her pool too... One would think that it was the old movie cliche of the older woman who wants to seduce the pool man, but it turns out she just needs her pool worked on... The poolman's wife is a 900 sex operator who nonchalantly huffs and puffs and whines and squeals while she works from home multi tasking (was there such a word back then?) by changing her baby's diapers or feeding her kids or cleaning up or doing a crossword puzzle. The couple is friends with another couple where the woman is the daughter of Tomlin's character. Those two couples go on a picnic near the end of the movie when a bizarre and rather out of left field murder takes place; the killer seems to get away with it when an incredibly timed natural disaster strikes immediately after the crime leading police to think that the victim was not murdered!
While the injured boy's dad, TV Commentator Howard Finnigan maintains a vigil at the hospital, he is reunited with his own dad.. the Jack Lemmon character. It turns out Howard was also hospitalized with an injury as a kid.. it coincided with his mom's discovery that Lemmon was having an affair with her sister, and his being thrown out of the house. Lemmon picks his grandsons hospitalization to finally reappear after all these years, and launches into an absurd monlogue in the hospital cafeteria to explain how the affair (and 40+ year absence) was really not his fault... Lemmons character has a chance later to get on the road to redemption with his son, but once again shows what a true loser he really is. Maybe having Lemmon playing this character wasnt such a great idea because Jack was such a likeable actor, and I found it difficult to dislike him as he so richly deserved!
Other storylines work their way in also... the boy's doctor..Ralph Wyman is married to a painter whose sister is involved in a horrible marriage to a cop, a character named Gene Shepherd.. the same name as one of the greatest storytellers of all time...a great choice for a name in a movie whose strength is in the story telling. He is portrayed by "The Player"s Tim Robbins, and just like in that movie he once again has a rivalry with a character played by The OCs Peter Gallagher. This time Robbins is having an affair with Gallagher's ex wife.. a storyline that provides some of the best scenes in the movie... including Mrs. Shepherd's laughing response to her husband's alibis during his extra marital affairs, her snappy comeback to his alibi of a crack bust, and Gallagher's literary interpretation of his ex's suggestion to take half their stuff. That scene includes an amusing encounter with a very slick vacuum cleaner salesman.
Its interesting to watch the 2 sisters talk about their marital issues... on the surface the happy person may not be as happy as she thinks.. Mrs. Shepherd sheepishly admits her husband will come back to the family once his current honey gets tired of his shenanigans. You start to see Shepherd's method of meeting women when he pulls over a female clown.. and snags her phone number. The clown actually meets Lemmons character Mr. Finnigan at the hospital while she is en route to do something that Lemmon couldnt do... make a child happy Lemmon shows her a magic trip involving an egg and a cup, after which she looks at him like he is a moron and tells him that trick is more appropriate for a bar and not for a child. By the way, another case of a Finnigan-clown connection takes place in the 2005 NBC sitcom Committed when the character of Marnie (played by Jennier Finnigan) has a roommate who is a clown!
The clowns husband goes on a fishing trip with his buddies (and en route drools over Tomlin, the waitress at the local coffee shop), which has another story line involving the dilemma of fishing in a lake that has a dead naked woman in it... The clown and her husband later head over to a bizarre dinner hosted by the doctor and his wife..(the cops sister in law)
The movie at first is just as hard to follow as this review, and a little more complex than Nashville. However the characters fall into place and all of the storylines are adapted from the Carver stories, except for the one about the old bar singer and her classical musician daughter played by Lori Singer. If you watch the dvd, once you realize its Lori Singer, you will start to wonder whatever happened to her since the early 90s until the moment where she strips naked and dives into the pool and then you get too distracted to really care, knowing full well you can always log into IMDB to see her bio after the movie is over. The mother is incredibly selfish, when her daughter tells her about the tragic death of a close acquaintance, she doesn't recognize the name, and doesnt seem to really care about the tragedy. You almost want to set her up on a blind date with Jack Lemmon's character.
There are a couple of things that appear odd about these characters. Tomlin's daughter and her husband house-sit for another couple so they can keep an eye on their exotic fish.. Of course, its very important that they be fed properly and that their water is properly maintained. They seem more concerned with the fish's water, than the fishermen who catch and eat fish caught in the same water that contained a rotting corpse. The fishermen decide to continue on their fishing trip because reporting the dead body will ruin their long awaited fishing trip so they decide to wait till after their fishing trip to contact the police.
And there is something oddly tragic about Penn's character. He is married to the 900 sex line girl yet he develops an odd jealousy towards her callers because she talks dirty to them.... but not to him. How bizarre is that, since he actually gets to do the ol' hocus mcpocus with his wife.... and all these guys get is a higher phone bill after they hear her re-enact dialogue from a poorly produced porn film. Penn seems so happy go lucky in the beginning while ogling a naked Lori Singer, but he really isnt so happy after all... Later in the movie he and his buddy find some young girls and wander away from their wives and kids at a park to share some beers with the chickies... which is the plot of Superbad.. (Although Short Cuts didn't have a scene stealing character named McLovin!) And while Penn's character looks to be normal but ends up far from that.. another character is the exact opposite.. During the movie you think he is an absolute loonie kazoonie, but you later realize he is an incredibly caring and compassionate person, and comes through in the clutch in an unbelievably difficult situation.
Altman uses jazz to thread the storylines together using the over the hill singer's nightclub appearances as a transition between vignettes. However, even though the music is very good, especially Lori Singer's cello playing, it adds even more time on to a very very long movie. But you gotta give those transitions points for style... and the storytelling... is superb! If you watch the dvd, you won't be able to leave in the middle because you will get hooked right into the different storylines. On a scale of one to four bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom, Short Cuts gets 3 and a half bladders.
Now time to announce our next movie club series... We are doing 007 in '07... four different Bond Movies with four different Bonds. We'll announce the first movie next week.
PUMPSTRADAMUS NFL PICK OF THE WK: Football season is back and so is Pumpy's wkly pick. Last year he went an incredible 10-6-1. This week in honor of wrapping up our Altman 4 pack we return to Nashville for the Tennessee - Jacksonville game.. The Titans are 6 and a half point doggies to the Jaguars. We caught up to Pump as he was leaving the multi-plex after seeing Superbad and after flashing his Hawaiian ID card as the one named Pumpstradamus, The Pump Sayeth: "Take Tennesee because of the first 3 letters of their nickname!!".
THE NON-BIASED GIANTS FAN WEEKLY PICKS - This season, I won't be picking all the games - I didn't follow the NFL over the summer since I got too caught up with my surprisingly good rotisserie baseball team.. (Thank You Carlos Pena!!)... so instead we will pick a few games each week under my alter ego.... The Non-biased Giants Fan... Here are those picks...
The Dolphins 3 point doggies over Washington - The Skins aren't that good.
The Packers 3 point doggies over The Eagles - Is Favre still playing? I havent been paying attention.
Giants 6 point doggies over Dallas - I hope Boomer goes to bed before the game ends because he has to do the 6am WFAN shift Monday and then fly out to Cincy to do the Monday Night Game and fly back after the game to do the Tuesday Morning 6am shift! Oh and the Cowboys are not as good as the Giants!!
THE CLIP OF THE WEEK - Earlier I mentioned Dennis Miller and The Family Guy... here is a very funny clip of Peter Griffin watching a Dennis Miller rant!
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Baseball Quarterly: 2 NY 3rd Basemen as MVP? Holy Cow!!
Welcome back foks... its our first column since August 2nd!!!!,.. Hope you didnt miss NWOW too much... we were on vacation plus I am doing something new and exciting with the Mortgage Podcast, (hint video podcasts + You Tube). Also if anyone knows of a good hosting site let me know because I am dumping the amazingly unreliable Media Max and looking for another home for my hosted files so my podcasts actually work when you hit the play button. The only thing Media Max is good at is taking my money out of Pay Pal every month, and then shutting down my service for non payment! I also have a new song I have been working on that will make the Ballad of Melanie McGuire look like a Mother Goose poem.... so the August postings have not been as frequent as usual! We should be back to normal in September.
Gosh there has been a lot going on!! And let's be heard... 78 year old Bob Grant is back on WABC... and not a single gray hair nor receding line to be found in his toupee!
So how do we start the column? With a story about Merv Griffin, who was a truly incredible guy? Or Phil Rizzuto, the onetime Money Store commercial pitchman whose death coincides with death bells for certain sectors of the mortgage industry? Speaking of which... kudos to CT Senator Christopher Dodd whose Presidential popularity points will shoot through the roof now that he has come up with the only idea that will get us out of this rut.... having the government bail out the subprime borrowers. The banks are not making these loans because their investors don't want to put money into risky loan portfolios and where there is no money.... there is nothing to lend. This leaves borrowers with adjustable rates in a tough bind because once their rates adjust (or adjust a 2nd or 3rd time), they can't afford it, and the last thing we need are more foreclosures. Hopefully Dodd's idea to expand an existing federal program to allow reasonable refinances for these people will come to fruition, because that might be the only solution to this problem.
Actually, I'll start with a tale about my mom's 97 year old aunt who died earlier in the week. Up until a few years ago, she was in pretty good shape - she had her own apt in NYC into her 90s and I believe was driving a car well into her late 80's. Ten years ago when she was a young and sprightly 87, I went to the city to participate in a panel discussion on a cable TV show that was being produced by a friend of mine. It was the night of The State of the Union Address and after the speech, our panel was going to talk about the speech. I really didnt say much during the live broadcast, but my mom told her aunt that I would be on. I asked the producer what channel I would be on on the cable systems in that part of Manhattan, and somewhere along the line the numbers got transposed, because it turned out the channel number we gave her was uh "other" programming.. that definitely didnt feature me.
We paid a shiva call to my mom's cousin and while there we discovered that this aunt's grandson had married the niece of one of Trophy Wife's close friends!! Talk about a small world... And since we were in Brooklyn, we capped off our visit with a trip to the Kosher Subway in Bklyn, Regular readers of this blog will recall I wrote a whole column back on January 11th about my love affair with the sub. That article featured a bizarre coincidence involving sub sandwich locations and the alleged murder spree of Robert Zarinsky... he's the guy who was acquitted for killing a cop, but lost his civil suit because he is serving time for another crime and didn't have the resources to hire a lawyer so he ended up representing himself. After turning over his money to the cop's widow an appeals court overturned the result and ordered the widow to repay the money after it had all been spent. Now the Star Ledger has been running a multi part series that reads more like a Truman Capote novel. If you read that January 11 column, you will see that while he is definitely no saint, some of the crimes Zarinsky is accused of, are direct results of accusations made by his sister who has already shown her true colors as a liar and a thief.
When it comes to Merv - oooooooooooo.. what a cool guy... He had it all... a legendary talk show in the 70s.. plus he created Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune plus the legendary Dance Fever. He wrote the Jeopardy theme and created the rules in such a way that his think music would play long enough for him to get a royalty check! Then he "retired" and started investing in hotels and casinos which he sold for millions of dollars causing a huge rift with that blabber mouth Donald Trump who despite all his bluster definitely does not have the financial back bone nor acumen nor success that Merv did. (Also Merv Griffin's daddy never bought millions of dollars worth of chips to keep his casino afloat!)
As for Scooter... I went to high school with a girl who lived right across the street from the Rizuttos in Hillside. The night of The 1983 All Star Game, a friend of ours had a party, and after spending the evening watching the game, I somehow ended up driving this girl back to her house. As we pulled up to her house at approximately 1 in the morning, like the silly boy that I was back in those days, I looked towards Casa Rizzuto and bellowed out...."HOLY COW YOU HUCKLEBERRY!!" My classmate ran back to her house in total embarrasment, and since it was the night of the All Star Game, Scooter was home because lights started going on in the house. I hopped into my Gold Duster and headed off into the sunset!!
The Baseball Report coming up in a second.. but first let me tell you about our vacation!
Trophy Wife and I were hanging out at the Jersey Shore back in July and stumbled into what we thought was a quaint little town, so we decided we would spend a few days there at a hoity toity B and B in August. We looked at this one hotel and they had this incredibly gorgeous room and a hot tub but it would cost a fortune. We decided we would stay there for a few days just for fun... not realizing that the whole town consistend of religious Methodists mixed in with homosexuals whose civil unions are being banned by the church run boardwalk!! Between all the religious Methodists and our trip to the Sussex County Fair earlier in the week, we were the only Jews for miles and miles. There were more Gentiles there than a K Mart on Yom Kippur. One exception was the yamulke wearing Steven Goldstein who participated in a protest about the gay union ceremonies being banned from the boardwalk. He eloquently made his point with this line: "The gay community has been the economic engine in this town for decades, and for them to say 'We'll take your money but not give you respect' is an outrage".
We were an economic engine too... We arrived at our verrrrry expensive hotel room and as we entered it.. hey it looks smaller.. and there was no hot tub! The girl at the hotel sweetly told us that the hot tub room was booked already but this hot tubless room costs the same! Boy were we bummed... and of course the hotel in its attempt to be hospitable offered us... free beach passes for one day! Whoopdy dam do...
The hotel is part of the resnazzified part of Monmouth County that is trying to re-establish itself as the land of the Hoity Toity. The room had a big glossy Glamour type magazine that with much bragaddicio spoke of all the exciting things going on in that part of NJ. Page after page of the August issue contained pictures of all these big society parties.. Then midway through the August issue, I came across an ad for the Count Basie Theater announcing a big appearance forthcoming in October by comedian Richard Jeni!! Wow.. thats an updated magazine considering Jeni died in March!!
I wasnt too thrilled with Ocean Grove, but the rest of the week was filled with fun.
So as we approach the homestretch of the 2007 season its time to look at who we will see in the post season, plus we will take a sneak peek at the post season awards.. Post Season awards are hard to predict because unless a player has a remarkable season from Day 1, most of these awards are won by September performaces. So lets go on a limb with my picks...
MVP - Could this be the year for the two NY 3rd sackers - ARod and David Wright? Both are having great seasons, although I am not so sure the Yankees will make it to the post season.. But the only other guy worthy is Magglio Ordonez and I think the Tigers will miss it too. Wright might be a sentimental pick, but other than Prince Fielder of the Brewers, who else is really having that big a season? And Wright is hitting .300 and has a shot at a 30-30 season with approx, 100 ribbys... and aside from the very under rated Brandon Phillips... is anyone else going to hit 30 homers and steal 30 bases this season?? Possibly Grady Sizemore? On the other hand, Matt Holliday is looking very strong too,... and the reason why he must be considered will be explained later in this column.
CY YOUNG - How about Jake Peavy in the NL and here's a pick going out on a limb.. JJ Putz the Seattle stopper. Brandon Webb might give Peavy a run for his money, but what AL pitcher is more wothy than the oh so reliable Putz?
ROOKIE - Ryan Braun of the Brewers... and how about Dice K of the Bosox??
As for the rest of the season... the playoff picture is turning into another wild and crazy race... I'll save my wild card picks for the end,. because those races usually take an odd turn. In the American League, my preseason sleeper team The Mariners are still having a remarkable season, They look like the have a shot at the division, as they lead the Wild card race... just as much as the other 2nd place teams. It looks like the Indians, Angels and Red Sox will be the division winners In my preseason picks I had LA winning the West, and Cleveland as The Wild Card, My other 2 wrong division picks were The Yankees and The White Sox.
Over in the National League, the Mets continue to hold off the Braves and Phillies as they go for their 2nd straight division title. In the West, The D-backs have carved out a nice lead in the division.... which leaves 2 more spots and a bunch of .500ish teams in the battle to secure those invitations to the Post Season. I think the Cubs are better than Milwaukee so I would give them one of those 2 spots. I think it will be the Mets, Cubs (my '07 Surprise Team) and D-Backs wining their divisions...which is a far cry from my original pick of The Phillies, Astros and Dodgers.
AL Wild Card - I think it's going to be Seattle. Those of us out here on the East Coast don't realize how good they are.. and the Putz led pen has been remarkable. They even have a relief pitcher whose last name is Roland Smith - just like the Channel 2 anchorman. The Reds have a reliever named Coutlangus who is a misspelling away from a sex act.
NL Wild Card - Tougher call here.. I have noticed in recent years that the NL has gotten so mediocre that a team that gets hot in the 2nd wk of September gets a clear path to The Wild Card. The question is who has the schedule that will give them a road to the Playoffs... The East has 2 lame teams... the West has only 1 and the Central has the Reds, Pirates, Astros and Cardinals. One would think it should be the Brewers, but take a look at Colorado... with Garrett Atkins, Matt Holliday, Brad Hawpe and Todd Helton they have the best hitting among the 4 NL West contenders and even though their pitching is not as good as the other teams.. those teams rotations have been hit by injuries,... Could it be that a Rocky hot streak catapults 'em to the Post Season... You heard it here first... the Rockies as the Wild Card.
Your influence counts... Use it... Get Kadaffy!!
Here is the first Clip of the Week - one of the funniest things I have ever seen when that Mike Wallace-esque "tough guy" reporters confronted a guy at his house. After the shock of seeing this first time.. watch the woman's reaction to this bizarre encounter!!
Here is our regular clip of the Week... The song that made Scooter a Rock and Roll Legend... a video of Paradise by the Dashboard Lights... which is the song I sang to Trophy Wife as I proposed to her!! (Will You love me forever - will you make me your wife?? As a matter of fact I will!!!)
Gosh there has been a lot going on!! And let's be heard... 78 year old Bob Grant is back on WABC... and not a single gray hair nor receding line to be found in his toupee!
So how do we start the column? With a story about Merv Griffin, who was a truly incredible guy? Or Phil Rizzuto, the onetime Money Store commercial pitchman whose death coincides with death bells for certain sectors of the mortgage industry? Speaking of which... kudos to CT Senator Christopher Dodd whose Presidential popularity points will shoot through the roof now that he has come up with the only idea that will get us out of this rut.... having the government bail out the subprime borrowers. The banks are not making these loans because their investors don't want to put money into risky loan portfolios and where there is no money.... there is nothing to lend. This leaves borrowers with adjustable rates in a tough bind because once their rates adjust (or adjust a 2nd or 3rd time), they can't afford it, and the last thing we need are more foreclosures. Hopefully Dodd's idea to expand an existing federal program to allow reasonable refinances for these people will come to fruition, because that might be the only solution to this problem.
Actually, I'll start with a tale about my mom's 97 year old aunt who died earlier in the week. Up until a few years ago, she was in pretty good shape - she had her own apt in NYC into her 90s and I believe was driving a car well into her late 80's. Ten years ago when she was a young and sprightly 87, I went to the city to participate in a panel discussion on a cable TV show that was being produced by a friend of mine. It was the night of The State of the Union Address and after the speech, our panel was going to talk about the speech. I really didnt say much during the live broadcast, but my mom told her aunt that I would be on. I asked the producer what channel I would be on on the cable systems in that part of Manhattan, and somewhere along the line the numbers got transposed, because it turned out the channel number we gave her was uh "other" programming.. that definitely didnt feature me.
We paid a shiva call to my mom's cousin and while there we discovered that this aunt's grandson had married the niece of one of Trophy Wife's close friends!! Talk about a small world... And since we were in Brooklyn, we capped off our visit with a trip to the Kosher Subway in Bklyn, Regular readers of this blog will recall I wrote a whole column back on January 11th about my love affair with the sub. That article featured a bizarre coincidence involving sub sandwich locations and the alleged murder spree of Robert Zarinsky... he's the guy who was acquitted for killing a cop, but lost his civil suit because he is serving time for another crime and didn't have the resources to hire a lawyer so he ended up representing himself. After turning over his money to the cop's widow an appeals court overturned the result and ordered the widow to repay the money after it had all been spent. Now the Star Ledger has been running a multi part series that reads more like a Truman Capote novel. If you read that January 11 column, you will see that while he is definitely no saint, some of the crimes Zarinsky is accused of, are direct results of accusations made by his sister who has already shown her true colors as a liar and a thief.
When it comes to Merv - oooooooooooo.. what a cool guy... He had it all... a legendary talk show in the 70s.. plus he created Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune plus the legendary Dance Fever. He wrote the Jeopardy theme and created the rules in such a way that his think music would play long enough for him to get a royalty check! Then he "retired" and started investing in hotels and casinos which he sold for millions of dollars causing a huge rift with that blabber mouth Donald Trump who despite all his bluster definitely does not have the financial back bone nor acumen nor success that Merv did. (Also Merv Griffin's daddy never bought millions of dollars worth of chips to keep his casino afloat!)
As for Scooter... I went to high school with a girl who lived right across the street from the Rizuttos in Hillside. The night of The 1983 All Star Game, a friend of ours had a party, and after spending the evening watching the game, I somehow ended up driving this girl back to her house. As we pulled up to her house at approximately 1 in the morning, like the silly boy that I was back in those days, I looked towards Casa Rizzuto and bellowed out...."HOLY COW YOU HUCKLEBERRY!!" My classmate ran back to her house in total embarrasment, and since it was the night of the All Star Game, Scooter was home because lights started going on in the house. I hopped into my Gold Duster and headed off into the sunset!!
The Baseball Report coming up in a second.. but first let me tell you about our vacation!
Trophy Wife and I were hanging out at the Jersey Shore back in July and stumbled into what we thought was a quaint little town, so we decided we would spend a few days there at a hoity toity B and B in August. We looked at this one hotel and they had this incredibly gorgeous room and a hot tub but it would cost a fortune. We decided we would stay there for a few days just for fun... not realizing that the whole town consistend of religious Methodists mixed in with homosexuals whose civil unions are being banned by the church run boardwalk!! Between all the religious Methodists and our trip to the Sussex County Fair earlier in the week, we were the only Jews for miles and miles. There were more Gentiles there than a K Mart on Yom Kippur. One exception was the yamulke wearing Steven Goldstein who participated in a protest about the gay union ceremonies being banned from the boardwalk. He eloquently made his point with this line: "The gay community has been the economic engine in this town for decades, and for them to say 'We'll take your money but not give you respect' is an outrage".
We were an economic engine too... We arrived at our verrrrry expensive hotel room and as we entered it.. hey it looks smaller.. and there was no hot tub! The girl at the hotel sweetly told us that the hot tub room was booked already but this hot tubless room costs the same! Boy were we bummed... and of course the hotel in its attempt to be hospitable offered us... free beach passes for one day! Whoopdy dam do...
The hotel is part of the resnazzified part of Monmouth County that is trying to re-establish itself as the land of the Hoity Toity. The room had a big glossy Glamour type magazine that with much bragaddicio spoke of all the exciting things going on in that part of NJ. Page after page of the August issue contained pictures of all these big society parties.. Then midway through the August issue, I came across an ad for the Count Basie Theater announcing a big appearance forthcoming in October by comedian Richard Jeni!! Wow.. thats an updated magazine considering Jeni died in March!!
I wasnt too thrilled with Ocean Grove, but the rest of the week was filled with fun.
So as we approach the homestretch of the 2007 season its time to look at who we will see in the post season, plus we will take a sneak peek at the post season awards.. Post Season awards are hard to predict because unless a player has a remarkable season from Day 1, most of these awards are won by September performaces. So lets go on a limb with my picks...
MVP - Could this be the year for the two NY 3rd sackers - ARod and David Wright? Both are having great seasons, although I am not so sure the Yankees will make it to the post season.. But the only other guy worthy is Magglio Ordonez and I think the Tigers will miss it too. Wright might be a sentimental pick, but other than Prince Fielder of the Brewers, who else is really having that big a season? And Wright is hitting .300 and has a shot at a 30-30 season with approx, 100 ribbys... and aside from the very under rated Brandon Phillips... is anyone else going to hit 30 homers and steal 30 bases this season?? Possibly Grady Sizemore? On the other hand, Matt Holliday is looking very strong too,... and the reason why he must be considered will be explained later in this column.
CY YOUNG - How about Jake Peavy in the NL and here's a pick going out on a limb.. JJ Putz the Seattle stopper. Brandon Webb might give Peavy a run for his money, but what AL pitcher is more wothy than the oh so reliable Putz?
ROOKIE - Ryan Braun of the Brewers... and how about Dice K of the Bosox??
As for the rest of the season... the playoff picture is turning into another wild and crazy race... I'll save my wild card picks for the end,. because those races usually take an odd turn. In the American League, my preseason sleeper team The Mariners are still having a remarkable season, They look like the have a shot at the division, as they lead the Wild card race... just as much as the other 2nd place teams. It looks like the Indians, Angels and Red Sox will be the division winners In my preseason picks I had LA winning the West, and Cleveland as The Wild Card, My other 2 wrong division picks were The Yankees and The White Sox.
Over in the National League, the Mets continue to hold off the Braves and Phillies as they go for their 2nd straight division title. In the West, The D-backs have carved out a nice lead in the division.... which leaves 2 more spots and a bunch of .500ish teams in the battle to secure those invitations to the Post Season. I think the Cubs are better than Milwaukee so I would give them one of those 2 spots. I think it will be the Mets, Cubs (my '07 Surprise Team) and D-Backs wining their divisions...which is a far cry from my original pick of The Phillies, Astros and Dodgers.
AL Wild Card - I think it's going to be Seattle. Those of us out here on the East Coast don't realize how good they are.. and the Putz led pen has been remarkable. They even have a relief pitcher whose last name is Roland Smith - just like the Channel 2 anchorman. The Reds have a reliever named Coutlangus who is a misspelling away from a sex act.
NL Wild Card - Tougher call here.. I have noticed in recent years that the NL has gotten so mediocre that a team that gets hot in the 2nd wk of September gets a clear path to The Wild Card. The question is who has the schedule that will give them a road to the Playoffs... The East has 2 lame teams... the West has only 1 and the Central has the Reds, Pirates, Astros and Cardinals. One would think it should be the Brewers, but take a look at Colorado... with Garrett Atkins, Matt Holliday, Brad Hawpe and Todd Helton they have the best hitting among the 4 NL West contenders and even though their pitching is not as good as the other teams.. those teams rotations have been hit by injuries,... Could it be that a Rocky hot streak catapults 'em to the Post Season... You heard it here first... the Rockies as the Wild Card.
Your influence counts... Use it... Get Kadaffy!!
Here is the first Clip of the Week - one of the funniest things I have ever seen when that Mike Wallace-esque "tough guy" reporters confronted a guy at his house. After the shock of seeing this first time.. watch the woman's reaction to this bizarre encounter!!
Here is our regular clip of the Week... The song that made Scooter a Rock and Roll Legend... a video of Paradise by the Dashboard Lights... which is the song I sang to Trophy Wife as I proposed to her!! (Will You love me forever - will you make me your wife?? As a matter of fact I will!!!)
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Defending the Conservatives
Wait a minute grasshoppa... you dont think today's column is about our pals in the Republican Party!! Oh no... today we are presenting a Jewish column.
Those Republicans do amuse me.... and I think conservative Democrats like myself are driving those GOPers up a wall. Just so you know where this card carrying Democrat stands, look back in the archives for the column from Jan 19, 2006 and March 6, 2006. Another tidbit - I overheard a neighbor saying how he used to be a liberal Democrat but even he admits that welfare in America is a disaster! When the liberals start blasting welfare, you know the party is moving towards the center; it's just too bad that the Republicans who were moving that way a decade ago are slipping back towards their more right wing roots.
One GOP buddy of mine gets especially frustrated that I will not vote Republican next year.. (unless Middlesex County Freeholder Jim Polos wins the Democratic Presidential nomination - but that's a whole other story for another day). He asked me what I would do if Rudy Giuliani was the nominee in '08 prompting me to take a wager and issue this warning/Pumpstradamus-esque prediction to my fellow Americans: There is no way Rudy Guliani will get the Republican nomination. As the Democrats move more to the center and away from the liberal wackos like my friend from DAS Blog , the Republicans are slamming the brakes on any attempt to move the party towards a more center core. The fact is the Republican powers that be are a bunch of religious zealots who want to impose their beliefs on all Americans and they will not allow a pro choice candidate to anchor their ticket in November 2008.
Incidentally, lets give you an idea of Presidential material for those non South Dakota-ns who are pro-choice. When Reagan was President he cut all federal funding to any Planned Parenthood-esque clinic that mentioned legal abortion as an alternative for their pregnant clients. On his first day as President, The Great President Bill Clinton rescinded that ridiculous Reagan rule that continued through the administration of Evil George Bush I. However on the first day of Evil George Bush II, he reinstated the ban. This is the type of candidate that the Republicans want, so Rudy may as well just forget about any chance of getting the nod to top their ticket next year.
But the Conservative Jews are the ones I want to talk about today. Did you see the Sunday New York Times a week ago with the article by Noah Feldman a hoity toity Harvard Law Professor. One Wall Street Journal blogger called him a legal rock star when he bolted NYU last year to teach at Harvard. Anyway, Mr, Feldman kvetched in The Times that his alma mater Jewish Day School - Maimonides in Brookline, MA snubbed him. A picture he and his wife posed for at a high school reunion was edited so that they were cropped out. What Mr. Feldman also knows is that intermarriage,... which is what he announced loudly in The New York TImes in 1999 when his wedding was performed by an Assistant Secretary of State - is a big no no with an Orthodox Jewish Day School. I mean c'mon.. hes a big shot lawyer etc, but isnt he smart enough to "get it" why Maimonides doesnt advertise the fact that he married out of the faith? Or does he just want to be a rabble rousing pain in the neck?
Intermarriage is not an anti Non jewish women concept from my perspective. I like non Jewish women and believe me a lot of them are smart, sexy and many are hotter than pistols... (Of course none are as beautiful as Trophy Wife who unlike Mrs. Feldman is a Jew!) But the Jewish religion is only going to continue if the next generations continue to make it part of their lives. And when a member of the tribe marries out, they also say adios to the Jewish traditions. Im sure the first year or two they observe Yom Kippur, but lets face it folks, in these intermarried homes, Christmas Tree shopping and ornament hanging takes more time than Passover Seders, Menorah Lighting and Yom Kippur sitting in synagogue time combined.
And guilt plays a role too... How many Jews in the Holocaust refused to renounce their faith and were gassed because of it?? And their sacrifice goes right down the toilet as soon as a Mayor/Judge/Secretary of State/Reform Rabbi performs one of these ceremonies. Incidentally, The Jewish Week has shown that Feldman is full of bologna because the man who took the pic told that paper that everyone standing on that side of the pic got cropped because there were only so many people that were going to fit into his shot. He told The Jewish Week 16 people were cut out of the shot. Still, Feldman complains that the school bulletin doesn't run his lifestyle announcements.. Hey look... here's the Little Feldman kid at the Easter Egg Hunt at The White House!
Its interesting how the different branches of Judaism relate to each other and you just wish sometimes that some of this stuff would stay off the internet... espeically when Feldman falsely makes the intermarriage issue into one of Jewish snobbery. I was recently sent a link to a disturbing website run by an ultra Orthodox organization that features questions posed by young adults to a Rabbi who calls himself "The Moderator". I have nothing against the Orthodox.. I don't consider myself Orthodox or Conservative.... some in between call themselves Conservadox.. I prefer to refer to myself as Orthoservative. I don't prefer the egalitarian services where women lead - I prefer the e-itarian that removes the "g-a-l".
Just to get an idea where this Moderator stands, he is anti Zionism because the State of Israel was formed and is managed in a "not religious enough" manner. He also delicately take issue with the Modern Orthodox outreach organization National Conference of Synagogue Youth because it doesn't seperate boys and girls as is the rule with the Ultras. To them forbidding boy-girl friendships among kids and teens is part of day to day life - in the real world it's a bizarre concept. Let me tell you something, NCSY held events at my synagogue when I was a kid and there was no way a lot of fellas including myself would have gone if there werent girls there!
I must admit that the Moderator takes a very non judgemental approach to questioners who have wandered off the religious path. He handles those q's very delicately and with kid gloves and does what he can to help those young 'uns work their way back.
But some of the stuff is just absurd.... For example when he gets to his misconceptions about mixed seating during wedding receptions. A blessing is said during a wedding reception dinner as part of the Seven Blessings that includes a term for celebrating this happy occasion. This Rabbi/Moderator says mixed seating at a wedding is such a horrible thing that one must not say that specfic blessing. Sorry folks.. he is Wrong!. In reality, a scholar named Levush (who the moderator quotes out of context) had said that there was always a possiblity at a mixed seating reception that a married man might look lustfully at a woman who was seated at his table. Under those circumstances this made a happy event.... an unhappy event.. and therefore FOR THAT REASON, the celebratory blessing shouldn't be said... not just because the men and women are sitting together! Heck, the great Rabbi Moshe Feinstein had mixed seating at the weddings of 2 of his children.. Betcha didn't think an Orthoservative would know that!
And then we have his comments about Conservative Judaism. These are his comments cut and pasted directed from his crazy website.
I am offended by the Conservative movement. That, by Conservative standards, should be enough to abolish it, no? Who makes these decisions, and, most importantly, who gives any of these people the authority to decide laws and practices for other people? Like, who died and make them the boss?
The fact that Conservative Judaism does not believe the Torah is the Word of Hashem but rather "divinely inspired" whatever that means, makes it a totally different religion than Orthodox Judaism. The last time an Orthodox rabbi said this, the Conservatives freaked out and falsely publicized to the papers that we do not believe they are Jews.
Not so. They are Jews. Nobody ever said differently. Their religion, however, is not Judaism. Like Jews for Jesus, they are full-fledged Jews, but are practicing the wrong religion.
And at least Jews for Jesus believe that the Torah was given by G-d, not merely "divinely inspired".
The Conservative movement leads a rebellion against Judaism and then demands we join their rebellion in the interest of Jewish unity!
No. Jewish unity means unity in practicing Judaism. It means NOT siding with the rebels who rebel against the King.
It means remaining loyal to Judaism.
It means NOT joining those who break off from Judaism and create another religion.
Why don’t you say we should pray in a Church of Jews for Jesus in the interest of Jewish Unity?
So, too, we do not pray in a Conservative Church, whether they refer to it as a Shul, or call their religion "Judaism."
You can’t walk into the sanctuary any time. It is a Bais Vaad l'Minus - a place where heretical beliefs are disseminated
Conservative Judaism is clearly heresy, and not Judaism at all. They create their own baseless rules and policies and incorporate those fairytales into what they call Judaism.
These comments speak for themselves about how incrediby disgraceful some Jews can be with their published comments about other members of the Tribe. These ultras attack Conservatives and then their PR machine takes a step back and says they consider Conservative "Jews" to be Jewish.. but then they go off and attack the Conservative Jewish "movement". Its one and the same... and its silly to issue patronizing "Sorry we are not insulting you as a person.. we instead meant to insult the type of synagogue you belong to".
If people who think like the Moderator want to say stuff in the privacy of their homes or within their groups... they can say whatever they want about Conservatives... but to write this kind of drivel on the internet where a person like myself can cut and paste it and republish it elsewhere is just plain wrong and irresponsible. There are aspects of Reform Judaism that I question but I would never make such horrible comments about them on the internet. When you put something on-line, you take responsibility for your words - I did so when I published "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" where I got harsh criticism , (thanks to Google's cacheing to help find that deleted page), but also praise from a very unlikely source!
The moderator also makes a nasty comment comparing Conservative Jews to Jews for Jesus, Jews for Jesus/Messianic Jews are not Jews.. its a wacko cult led by Christian missionaries who use a gimmick to take more people out of the faith who don't opt to take the route of the oh so insulted Noah Feldman. The Messianic Morons are now infiltrating mainstream events by volunteering at programs where young impressionable kids hang out. I am starting to volunteer at those events just to make sure they stay away from kids pure souls; we should all keep an eye on these evil people just in case they start up with their stupidities.. especially that disgracefully fraudulent "Rabbi" Jan and his disgusting wife "Rebetzin" Marlene from Southern NJ.
But as for Rabbi Moderator.. This man with his hateful commentaries is not the type of person who should be considered a leader for young adults....Parents should not allow their children to consider this man to be a role model..... and I say the website should take the responsible route and cut him out of that website just like Mr. and Mrs. Noah Feldman were excised from the Maimonides Alumni Newsletter!
He should be fired.
Now time for the clip of the Week. Tom Snyder died earlier this week. Here is a montage I found on You Tube of the wildly entertaining talk show host.
Those Republicans do amuse me.... and I think conservative Democrats like myself are driving those GOPers up a wall. Just so you know where this card carrying Democrat stands, look back in the archives for the column from Jan 19, 2006 and March 6, 2006. Another tidbit - I overheard a neighbor saying how he used to be a liberal Democrat but even he admits that welfare in America is a disaster! When the liberals start blasting welfare, you know the party is moving towards the center; it's just too bad that the Republicans who were moving that way a decade ago are slipping back towards their more right wing roots.
One GOP buddy of mine gets especially frustrated that I will not vote Republican next year.. (unless Middlesex County Freeholder Jim Polos wins the Democratic Presidential nomination - but that's a whole other story for another day). He asked me what I would do if Rudy Giuliani was the nominee in '08 prompting me to take a wager and issue this warning/Pumpstradamus-esque prediction to my fellow Americans: There is no way Rudy Guliani will get the Republican nomination. As the Democrats move more to the center and away from the liberal wackos like my friend from DAS Blog , the Republicans are slamming the brakes on any attempt to move the party towards a more center core. The fact is the Republican powers that be are a bunch of religious zealots who want to impose their beliefs on all Americans and they will not allow a pro choice candidate to anchor their ticket in November 2008.
Incidentally, lets give you an idea of Presidential material for those non South Dakota-ns who are pro-choice. When Reagan was President he cut all federal funding to any Planned Parenthood-esque clinic that mentioned legal abortion as an alternative for their pregnant clients. On his first day as President, The Great President Bill Clinton rescinded that ridiculous Reagan rule that continued through the administration of Evil George Bush I. However on the first day of Evil George Bush II, he reinstated the ban. This is the type of candidate that the Republicans want, so Rudy may as well just forget about any chance of getting the nod to top their ticket next year.
But the Conservative Jews are the ones I want to talk about today. Did you see the Sunday New York Times a week ago with the article by Noah Feldman a hoity toity Harvard Law Professor. One Wall Street Journal blogger called him a legal rock star when he bolted NYU last year to teach at Harvard. Anyway, Mr, Feldman kvetched in The Times that his alma mater Jewish Day School - Maimonides in Brookline, MA snubbed him. A picture he and his wife posed for at a high school reunion was edited so that they were cropped out. What Mr. Feldman also knows is that intermarriage,... which is what he announced loudly in The New York TImes in 1999 when his wedding was performed by an Assistant Secretary of State - is a big no no with an Orthodox Jewish Day School. I mean c'mon.. hes a big shot lawyer etc, but isnt he smart enough to "get it" why Maimonides doesnt advertise the fact that he married out of the faith? Or does he just want to be a rabble rousing pain in the neck?
Intermarriage is not an anti Non jewish women concept from my perspective. I like non Jewish women and believe me a lot of them are smart, sexy and many are hotter than pistols... (Of course none are as beautiful as Trophy Wife who unlike Mrs. Feldman is a Jew!) But the Jewish religion is only going to continue if the next generations continue to make it part of their lives. And when a member of the tribe marries out, they also say adios to the Jewish traditions. Im sure the first year or two they observe Yom Kippur, but lets face it folks, in these intermarried homes, Christmas Tree shopping and ornament hanging takes more time than Passover Seders, Menorah Lighting and Yom Kippur sitting in synagogue time combined.
And guilt plays a role too... How many Jews in the Holocaust refused to renounce their faith and were gassed because of it?? And their sacrifice goes right down the toilet as soon as a Mayor/Judge/Secretary of State/Reform Rabbi performs one of these ceremonies. Incidentally, The Jewish Week has shown that Feldman is full of bologna because the man who took the pic told that paper that everyone standing on that side of the pic got cropped because there were only so many people that were going to fit into his shot. He told The Jewish Week 16 people were cut out of the shot. Still, Feldman complains that the school bulletin doesn't run his lifestyle announcements.. Hey look... here's the Little Feldman kid at the Easter Egg Hunt at The White House!
Its interesting how the different branches of Judaism relate to each other and you just wish sometimes that some of this stuff would stay off the internet... espeically when Feldman falsely makes the intermarriage issue into one of Jewish snobbery. I was recently sent a link to a disturbing website run by an ultra Orthodox organization that features questions posed by young adults to a Rabbi who calls himself "The Moderator". I have nothing against the Orthodox.. I don't consider myself Orthodox or Conservative.... some in between call themselves Conservadox.. I prefer to refer to myself as Orthoservative. I don't prefer the egalitarian services where women lead - I prefer the e-itarian that removes the "g-a-l".
Just to get an idea where this Moderator stands, he is anti Zionism because the State of Israel was formed and is managed in a "not religious enough" manner. He also delicately take issue with the Modern Orthodox outreach organization National Conference of Synagogue Youth because it doesn't seperate boys and girls as is the rule with the Ultras. To them forbidding boy-girl friendships among kids and teens is part of day to day life - in the real world it's a bizarre concept. Let me tell you something, NCSY held events at my synagogue when I was a kid and there was no way a lot of fellas including myself would have gone if there werent girls there!
I must admit that the Moderator takes a very non judgemental approach to questioners who have wandered off the religious path. He handles those q's very delicately and with kid gloves and does what he can to help those young 'uns work their way back.
But some of the stuff is just absurd.... For example when he gets to his misconceptions about mixed seating during wedding receptions. A blessing is said during a wedding reception dinner as part of the Seven Blessings that includes a term for celebrating this happy occasion. This Rabbi/Moderator says mixed seating at a wedding is such a horrible thing that one must not say that specfic blessing. Sorry folks.. he is Wrong!. In reality, a scholar named Levush (who the moderator quotes out of context) had said that there was always a possiblity at a mixed seating reception that a married man might look lustfully at a woman who was seated at his table. Under those circumstances this made a happy event.... an unhappy event.. and therefore FOR THAT REASON, the celebratory blessing shouldn't be said... not just because the men and women are sitting together! Heck, the great Rabbi Moshe Feinstein had mixed seating at the weddings of 2 of his children.. Betcha didn't think an Orthoservative would know that!
And then we have his comments about Conservative Judaism. These are his comments cut and pasted directed from his crazy website.
I am offended by the Conservative movement. That, by Conservative standards, should be enough to abolish it, no? Who makes these decisions, and, most importantly, who gives any of these people the authority to decide laws and practices for other people? Like, who died and make them the boss?
The fact that Conservative Judaism does not believe the Torah is the Word of Hashem but rather "divinely inspired" whatever that means, makes it a totally different religion than Orthodox Judaism. The last time an Orthodox rabbi said this, the Conservatives freaked out and falsely publicized to the papers that we do not believe they are Jews.
Not so. They are Jews. Nobody ever said differently. Their religion, however, is not Judaism. Like Jews for Jesus, they are full-fledged Jews, but are practicing the wrong religion.
And at least Jews for Jesus believe that the Torah was given by G-d, not merely "divinely inspired".
The Conservative movement leads a rebellion against Judaism and then demands we join their rebellion in the interest of Jewish unity!
No. Jewish unity means unity in practicing Judaism. It means NOT siding with the rebels who rebel against the King.
It means remaining loyal to Judaism.
It means NOT joining those who break off from Judaism and create another religion.
Why don’t you say we should pray in a Church of Jews for Jesus in the interest of Jewish Unity?
So, too, we do not pray in a Conservative Church, whether they refer to it as a Shul, or call their religion "Judaism."
You can’t walk into the sanctuary any time. It is a Bais Vaad l'Minus - a place where heretical beliefs are disseminated
Conservative Judaism is clearly heresy, and not Judaism at all. They create their own baseless rules and policies and incorporate those fairytales into what they call Judaism.
These comments speak for themselves about how incrediby disgraceful some Jews can be with their published comments about other members of the Tribe. These ultras attack Conservatives and then their PR machine takes a step back and says they consider Conservative "Jews" to be Jewish.. but then they go off and attack the Conservative Jewish "movement". Its one and the same... and its silly to issue patronizing "Sorry we are not insulting you as a person.. we instead meant to insult the type of synagogue you belong to".
If people who think like the Moderator want to say stuff in the privacy of their homes or within their groups... they can say whatever they want about Conservatives... but to write this kind of drivel on the internet where a person like myself can cut and paste it and republish it elsewhere is just plain wrong and irresponsible. There are aspects of Reform Judaism that I question but I would never make such horrible comments about them on the internet. When you put something on-line, you take responsibility for your words - I did so when I published "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" where I got harsh criticism , (thanks to Google's cacheing to help find that deleted page), but also praise from a very unlikely source!
The moderator also makes a nasty comment comparing Conservative Jews to Jews for Jesus, Jews for Jesus/Messianic Jews are not Jews.. its a wacko cult led by Christian missionaries who use a gimmick to take more people out of the faith who don't opt to take the route of the oh so insulted Noah Feldman. The Messianic Morons are now infiltrating mainstream events by volunteering at programs where young impressionable kids hang out. I am starting to volunteer at those events just to make sure they stay away from kids pure souls; we should all keep an eye on these evil people just in case they start up with their stupidities.. especially that disgracefully fraudulent "Rabbi" Jan and his disgusting wife "Rebetzin" Marlene from Southern NJ.
But as for Rabbi Moderator.. This man with his hateful commentaries is not the type of person who should be considered a leader for young adults....Parents should not allow their children to consider this man to be a role model..... and I say the website should take the responsible route and cut him out of that website just like Mr. and Mrs. Noah Feldman were excised from the Maimonides Alumni Newsletter!
He should be fired.
Now time for the clip of the Week. Tom Snyder died earlier this week. Here is a montage I found on You Tube of the wildly entertaining talk show host.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Player - A Movie Club Column
Well folks, now that I am somewhat settled in our new home.. and adjusted to our new computer setup since my 2003 relic emachines hard drive went kaput, it is time once again to resume the movie reviews for our Movie Club.
Today we present Part III of our Robert Altman 4-pack (M*A*S*H and Nashville were the first two) The Player is today’s movie and the 4th will be Short Cuts..which I just bought on eBay since no video store stocks it anymore. I decided to do the movies in the order they were made so I was kind of surprised to see an Altman interview on the DVD where he says he decided to cast Tim Robbins after he saw him in “Short Cuts” Huh? I doublechecked and The Player was released first.. so either Short Cuts was filmed first and released second, or Altman’s memory was a bit shaky when the DVD Extras portions were filmed.
This movie is very different than the prior 2 Altman flicks – those were a bunch of characters interacting with no major plot. The Player however has a plot and fewer major characters; yet it has a much larger cast due to a ton of cameo roles by actors who came in and basically did their scenes for free. The DVD extra also has a nifty gallery for the extras where you click on the name and go right to their cameo just in case you missed it during the movie. The extra producers were obviously not fans of The Bob Newhart Show because they identify Jack Riley (Mr Carlin) as another actor.
The plot reminded me of a program I volunteered for 4 years ago that was organized by a friend of mine. She had a lot of cable network execs come out to a program called “Pitch Your Project”. Aspiring reality show producers attended a reality show seminar and then got a few minutes to run their proposal past the very patient cable execs. I don’t know if any of these reality shows got picked up, but one after the other they pitched their idea. I started thinking of this when I saw the movie because Tim Robbins character – Griffin Mill is a bigshot at a movie studio where his job is to listen to people pitch their projects, and his personal life gets a little shaky when one of his rejected Project Pitchers starts to send him threatening postcards.
The first 7 minutes of the movie are a cinematic masterpiece.. mostly adlibbed and all shot off one camera with no takes to a 2nd camera. That means the viewers perspective never changes – there are no edits- and if there is a foul up during the process.. its back to square one to shoot it all over again. This is what is called a tracking shot. Tracking shots have been done in other movies before, but this is the first time that tracking shots in a movie was a topic of conversation during a tracking shot in a movie. They did fifteen takes on that scene.. Among the dialogue improvised was a pitch shot outside through a window where Buck Henry proposes an outrageously bizarre sequel to “The Graduate”. How odd that years later we would get the strange “sequel” Rumor Has It about a young woman played by Jennifer Aniston who realizes that her odd family was the inspiration of the book and movie. Even stranger is the casting of Mena Suvari as her younger sister… she's the same actress who got her start in “American Pie”… the movie that inspired the term MILF where “Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson? was replaced by yelps of "Stiflers Mom!!!”
Here is an amazing tracking shot from the Orson Welles movie "Touch of Evil"... remember there are no second takes and no cutting away...
Besides a rejected project pitcher, Mill has to worry about a new hotshot exec Larry Levy played by Peter Gallagher pre The OC. Mill gets pitched a project and as if it were ripped out of the pages of “The Producers”, the concept of “Habeas Corpus” sounds so awful that he decides to have Levy take charge of it so he can watch the whole thing fall apart. .. and then watch Levy’s career crash. The original idea is pitched by a wide eyed writer who insists his masterpiece, a mumbo jumbo of mistaken identity a DA and the death penalty… your typical Three’s Company episode… have no big name stars and a sad un-Hollywood ending…. Because that is reality! Ultimately, the movie is “tweaked” and you watch the wide eyed writer go from a bright eyed optimist to an even brighter eyed sell out rich man. Its ironic how in the beginning he insists on a low budget film... "NO Schwartzenegger!" he barks to keep the big names out..... which is exactly the same thing star Tim Robbins and wife Susan Sarandon have been yelling outside the California statehouse.
The movie makes a major turn when Mill realizes he can figure out which rejected project pitcher has been threatening him. He tracks his suspect to a movie theater.. and when he confronts him we realize it’s a younger, thinner Vincent D’Onofrio from Law and Order: CI. His character David Kahane hates Mill with a passion and after a night of drinking at a karaoke bar to sort out their differences, they realize that they cant come to any meeting of the minds, and they just don't like each other. Kahane sees Mill as a shmuck and when the confrontation gets physical outside the bar, a life changing moment arrives for both of them that will dog Mill through the rest of the movie. He also ends up putting the shmaneuver on Kahane’s girlfriend (who wears white at a funeral) much to the chagrin of his own girlfriend, co-worker Bonnie Sherow who passionately fights with the movie studio execs to retain the original concept for “Habeas Corpus”.
You can’t help noticing what a weasel Mill really is. He fingers Kahane as the suspect using flawed logic based on movie concepts. The movie itself has plenty of dialogue about twists on basic plot premises and a Polish joke involving what a woman will do to make it in the movies. Mill drives a snazzy car and has a cool 1992 era cell phone.. back when they were called car phones. During his confrontation with Kahane he runs into Kahane taking a pish outside a building. Kahane borrows the car phone and then hands it back to Mill… even though he never washed his hands! Yuck.. I couldn’t get my mind off the germ filled 1992 car phone during the next few minutes. But then again, here we are 15 years later and you can surf the web on your Iphone while sitting on the toilet!
Mill also dines with the power players during the power lunches and hob knobs with Burt Reynolds and other stars. He admonishes a waiter for serving him water in a wine glass and demands to be re-served using the proper glass ware. He later admits he doesn’t drink unless he is with another drinker… while Levy’s character is also sober but goes to AA meetings since that is where a lot of Hollywood business gets conducted! Levy later has a line in the movie about changing water to wine.
There is one scene in the movie that reminded me of a very funny moment in Nashville. The wacky writer agent duo of Tom Oakley and Andy Civella (played by Richard Grant and Quantum Leap’s Dean Stockwell) are chatting with Andie MacDowell at a Hollywood hang out.. Civella refers to her as “his namesake Andie”, and Mill points out how cool it was to see Andie after he had just run into Malcolm McDowell,… prompting aspiring writer Tom to announce his connection to Roddy McDowell! You almost expect the 1986 Astros to come sulking in after Roger McDowell shut them down in Game 6 of the NLCS. The McDowell scene reminded me of the scene in Nashville where the redneck character runs into actress Julie Christie and remarks how ironic it is to see her since he had just recently seen the Christie Minstrels.
One amusing anecdote about the dvd's extras.... I always like to watch the deleted scenes and the outtakes. Since the movie takes place in a movie studio, we see a deleted scene where the actors are watching “the dailies” involving a movie being filmed with Lily Tomlin and Scott Glenn who were both in Nashville. Since it’s a deleted scene you hear the movie director yell action and then the "movie in the movie" director character yell action. Its kind of odd, but then Glenn messes up a line and asks to start over, and makes it a point to request that he have his cameo appearance union check ready so he can leave right after his scene. Lily Tomlin also starts snapping at him and I was starting to think that the actor Glenn was a real shmuck until I realized that this was part of his character and his character had fouled up his line, and it was a deleted scene NOT an outtake. Oops; it was all supposed to be part of the movie. In the extras they actually said that some of the secretaries visiting the set who were watching walked out because they felt uncomfortable seeing Tomlin and Glenn snapping at each other. That same movie within a movie also featured Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis playing themselves.... as they did in "Ocean's 12" in an odd but strangely well done scene where Julia Roberts character actually is able to pull off a heist by pretending she is... Julia Roberts. Kind of like Too Close for Comfort where they had a cameo by "Ted Knight",..... or was that The Mary Tyler Moore Show?? And when was the last time 2 actors played themselves in 2 different movies?
The Player's plot is very enjoyable.. there are a ton of cameos that are not too distracting from the main story and the ending is filled with irony, especially where Mill is pitched a concept that could actually be a movie… The opening shot.. is a visual masterpiece! The musical score is well done. It actually sounds a bit like the Chuck Woolery game show “Greed”. On a scale of one to four bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Player gets three and a half bladders.
Now time for the Clip of the Week: This month WFAN celebrates 20 years on the air.. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was the 3rd caller on the first ever show hosted by Jim Lampley. Ladies and Gentlemen... I got my mitts on the tape and here is how it started that first day.. By the way this was the first time I had heard this since 1987, and to be perfectly honest.. I have no idea what the heck I was talking about! A baseball team in NJ?
Today we present Part III of our Robert Altman 4-pack (M*A*S*H and Nashville were the first two) The Player is today’s movie and the 4th will be Short Cuts..which I just bought on eBay since no video store stocks it anymore. I decided to do the movies in the order they were made so I was kind of surprised to see an Altman interview on the DVD where he says he decided to cast Tim Robbins after he saw him in “Short Cuts” Huh? I doublechecked and The Player was released first.. so either Short Cuts was filmed first and released second, or Altman’s memory was a bit shaky when the DVD Extras portions were filmed.
This movie is very different than the prior 2 Altman flicks – those were a bunch of characters interacting with no major plot. The Player however has a plot and fewer major characters; yet it has a much larger cast due to a ton of cameo roles by actors who came in and basically did their scenes for free. The DVD extra also has a nifty gallery for the extras where you click on the name and go right to their cameo just in case you missed it during the movie. The extra producers were obviously not fans of The Bob Newhart Show because they identify Jack Riley (Mr Carlin) as another actor.
The plot reminded me of a program I volunteered for 4 years ago that was organized by a friend of mine. She had a lot of cable network execs come out to a program called “Pitch Your Project”. Aspiring reality show producers attended a reality show seminar and then got a few minutes to run their proposal past the very patient cable execs. I don’t know if any of these reality shows got picked up, but one after the other they pitched their idea. I started thinking of this when I saw the movie because Tim Robbins character – Griffin Mill is a bigshot at a movie studio where his job is to listen to people pitch their projects, and his personal life gets a little shaky when one of his rejected Project Pitchers starts to send him threatening postcards.
The first 7 minutes of the movie are a cinematic masterpiece.. mostly adlibbed and all shot off one camera with no takes to a 2nd camera. That means the viewers perspective never changes – there are no edits- and if there is a foul up during the process.. its back to square one to shoot it all over again. This is what is called a tracking shot. Tracking shots have been done in other movies before, but this is the first time that tracking shots in a movie was a topic of conversation during a tracking shot in a movie. They did fifteen takes on that scene.. Among the dialogue improvised was a pitch shot outside through a window where Buck Henry proposes an outrageously bizarre sequel to “The Graduate”. How odd that years later we would get the strange “sequel” Rumor Has It about a young woman played by Jennifer Aniston who realizes that her odd family was the inspiration of the book and movie. Even stranger is the casting of Mena Suvari as her younger sister… she's the same actress who got her start in “American Pie”… the movie that inspired the term MILF where “Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson? was replaced by yelps of "Stiflers Mom!!!”
Here is an amazing tracking shot from the Orson Welles movie "Touch of Evil"... remember there are no second takes and no cutting away...
Besides a rejected project pitcher, Mill has to worry about a new hotshot exec Larry Levy played by Peter Gallagher pre The OC. Mill gets pitched a project and as if it were ripped out of the pages of “The Producers”, the concept of “Habeas Corpus” sounds so awful that he decides to have Levy take charge of it so he can watch the whole thing fall apart. .. and then watch Levy’s career crash. The original idea is pitched by a wide eyed writer who insists his masterpiece, a mumbo jumbo of mistaken identity a DA and the death penalty… your typical Three’s Company episode… have no big name stars and a sad un-Hollywood ending…. Because that is reality! Ultimately, the movie is “tweaked” and you watch the wide eyed writer go from a bright eyed optimist to an even brighter eyed sell out rich man. Its ironic how in the beginning he insists on a low budget film... "NO Schwartzenegger!" he barks to keep the big names out..... which is exactly the same thing star Tim Robbins and wife Susan Sarandon have been yelling outside the California statehouse.
The movie makes a major turn when Mill realizes he can figure out which rejected project pitcher has been threatening him. He tracks his suspect to a movie theater.. and when he confronts him we realize it’s a younger, thinner Vincent D’Onofrio from Law and Order: CI. His character David Kahane hates Mill with a passion and after a night of drinking at a karaoke bar to sort out their differences, they realize that they cant come to any meeting of the minds, and they just don't like each other. Kahane sees Mill as a shmuck and when the confrontation gets physical outside the bar, a life changing moment arrives for both of them that will dog Mill through the rest of the movie. He also ends up putting the shmaneuver on Kahane’s girlfriend (who wears white at a funeral) much to the chagrin of his own girlfriend, co-worker Bonnie Sherow who passionately fights with the movie studio execs to retain the original concept for “Habeas Corpus”.
You can’t help noticing what a weasel Mill really is. He fingers Kahane as the suspect using flawed logic based on movie concepts. The movie itself has plenty of dialogue about twists on basic plot premises and a Polish joke involving what a woman will do to make it in the movies. Mill drives a snazzy car and has a cool 1992 era cell phone.. back when they were called car phones. During his confrontation with Kahane he runs into Kahane taking a pish outside a building. Kahane borrows the car phone and then hands it back to Mill… even though he never washed his hands! Yuck.. I couldn’t get my mind off the germ filled 1992 car phone during the next few minutes. But then again, here we are 15 years later and you can surf the web on your Iphone while sitting on the toilet!
Mill also dines with the power players during the power lunches and hob knobs with Burt Reynolds and other stars. He admonishes a waiter for serving him water in a wine glass and demands to be re-served using the proper glass ware. He later admits he doesn’t drink unless he is with another drinker… while Levy’s character is also sober but goes to AA meetings since that is where a lot of Hollywood business gets conducted! Levy later has a line in the movie about changing water to wine.
There is one scene in the movie that reminded me of a very funny moment in Nashville. The wacky writer agent duo of Tom Oakley and Andy Civella (played by Richard Grant and Quantum Leap’s Dean Stockwell) are chatting with Andie MacDowell at a Hollywood hang out.. Civella refers to her as “his namesake Andie”, and Mill points out how cool it was to see Andie after he had just run into Malcolm McDowell,… prompting aspiring writer Tom to announce his connection to Roddy McDowell! You almost expect the 1986 Astros to come sulking in after Roger McDowell shut them down in Game 6 of the NLCS. The McDowell scene reminded me of the scene in Nashville where the redneck character runs into actress Julie Christie and remarks how ironic it is to see her since he had just recently seen the Christie Minstrels.
One amusing anecdote about the dvd's extras.... I always like to watch the deleted scenes and the outtakes. Since the movie takes place in a movie studio, we see a deleted scene where the actors are watching “the dailies” involving a movie being filmed with Lily Tomlin and Scott Glenn who were both in Nashville. Since it’s a deleted scene you hear the movie director yell action and then the "movie in the movie" director character yell action. Its kind of odd, but then Glenn messes up a line and asks to start over, and makes it a point to request that he have his cameo appearance union check ready so he can leave right after his scene. Lily Tomlin also starts snapping at him and I was starting to think that the actor Glenn was a real shmuck until I realized that this was part of his character and his character had fouled up his line, and it was a deleted scene NOT an outtake. Oops; it was all supposed to be part of the movie. In the extras they actually said that some of the secretaries visiting the set who were watching walked out because they felt uncomfortable seeing Tomlin and Glenn snapping at each other. That same movie within a movie also featured Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis playing themselves.... as they did in "Ocean's 12" in an odd but strangely well done scene where Julia Roberts character actually is able to pull off a heist by pretending she is... Julia Roberts. Kind of like Too Close for Comfort where they had a cameo by "Ted Knight",..... or was that The Mary Tyler Moore Show?? And when was the last time 2 actors played themselves in 2 different movies?
The Player's plot is very enjoyable.. there are a ton of cameos that are not too distracting from the main story and the ending is filled with irony, especially where Mill is pitched a concept that could actually be a movie… The opening shot.. is a visual masterpiece! The musical score is well done. It actually sounds a bit like the Chuck Woolery game show “Greed”. On a scale of one to four bladders meaning how less likely you would be to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom.. The Player gets three and a half bladders.
Now time for the Clip of the Week: This month WFAN celebrates 20 years on the air.. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was the 3rd caller on the first ever show hosted by Jim Lampley. Ladies and Gentlemen... I got my mitts on the tape and here is how it started that first day.. By the way this was the first time I had heard this since 1987, and to be perfectly honest.. I have no idea what the heck I was talking about! A baseball team in NJ?
Friday, July 20, 2007
Melanie in Prison is Becoming a Reality
Since yesterday's sentencing of Melanie McG... I have watched with amusement as the people that participate in the CourtTV website bulletin board have been ripping into "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire". Neil has mentioned this on his blog also. A lot of people liked the song.... some that didn't like it presented some valid points. but there were a few morons who refused to listen to the song yet insisted we were poking fun at the victim. The counter showed the video had more than 400 hits on Thursday which means that next time I post a video on You Tube, I'm putting a "Melanie McGuire" tag on it.
I am kind of disappointed that Court TV's moderator took off all the anti-Nate posts.. because frankly I found them incredibly entertaining. Court TV also disappointed the bulletin board posters by shutting the forum for the weekend forcing them to leave their computer screens and go outside to enjoy the nice weather.
If you are not familiar with the Court TV bulletin board, let's put it in some perspective. There are a few people who populate that bulletin board who apparently have nothing better to do than debate some of the more bizarre minutae involved in this story. On Sentencing Day Thursday, some people speculated about whether the prison would give Melanie tampons or maxi pads. Earlier that day a wave of fury erupted on this bulletin board when the participants realized that the sentencing would not be airing on Court TV because of the explosion in Manhattan on Wed. night. Due to environmental concerns involving asbestos, the Court TV building was shut down and they were unable to broadcast the sentencing. It seems that this was not a good enough excuse for some of these people, since many posters felt that technicians should have bypassed the security, and risk their lives to enter the building so they could get their daily Court TV fix. After seeing the horrific after effects of the air pollution caused by 9-11, I guess health risks are not as important as seeing live how many years Melanie would serve. Ultimately, the coverage was picked up on News 12 NJ, causing many out of state board posters to express a desire to live in the Garden State, at least for just one day.
It's interesting how some of the posters talk like they know the family. They have become so immersed with this website that they really think they know these people. With an exception or two, that bulletin board's population did not know the victim. The victim's niece spoke eloquently at the sentencing on Thursday about how she used to make fun of his legs when he would wear shorts. She said that every time she thinks about his legs, she remembers how they were in that waterlogged suitcase. Its not the song that hurts them; its the reminders that hurt them. He may have liked Cherry Garcia ice cream; they might walk through a supermarket and see Cherry Garcia and that would bring back memories. I think he liked the Yankees too... Those reminders are small paper cuts compared to the major wound caused by the death.
Let's set the record straight - The song was not written to make fun of the victim.
The song is about the criminal and her crime.... It has its graphic moments but the crime is graphic. The woman didnt just shoot him in a fit of anger. She meticulously planned out every detail of the "perfect crime". Crimefighters always have to build a better mousetrap because you will always find a smarter mouse. That is why computer firewalls are a multi-million dollar industry. Melanie thought she was a smart mouse. She figured if she chopped her husband up, the suitcases would sink to the bottom of The Chesapeake and people would just assume he walked out on her. She even went as far as to create the perfect crime scene - an unused apartment she was renting. She had just closed on her house - she needed him to be alive on Closing Day since NJ law says both husband and wife must sign the closing papers (and she probably needed his income for the mortgage too), so she knew that once the house was hers, the old apartment would be the perfect crime scene. She would continue to hold it until after she killed him and she would have time to clean it thoroughly. If neighbors know a woman is moving out, they wouldn't think twice about seeing her (and an accomplice) shlepping heavy boxes and suitcases out of her apartment. And as for the accomplice, I hope he sleeps at night with one eye open, because he will probably be the next one to get arrested.
Little did she know that the suitcases would float up to the surface..
Then the preposterous lies started. She called EZ Pass to challenge a fee that put her at the scene of the crime. She told police she was in AC because she was "moving his car to mess with his mind", when in reality she planted the car there to stage his disappearance. Some of the comments she made in her ABC News interview also showed firsthand that she is a pathological liar. She thought she was such a smart little mouse. And when we build better mousetraps, it's important to never forget the clever mice who thought they could get away with it. That's why we fight computer hackers and study murderous dictators who rose to power. Melanie is no Hitler, but she is much worse than a computer hacker.
In retrospect, the song is tacky.... I wouldn't say that its funny... but the way it matches up with the poetry of "Creeque Alley" is definitely quite clever if I may say so myself. Whats the difference it would have been a book or movie about the crime and the criminal? Do you sugar coat the reality of how diabolical and brutal she was?
By the way the posters might be disappointed that Court TV shut the site down for the weekend. They can always post to the Harry Potter bulletin board. I heard the book ends with him at a New Jersey diner ordering onion rings while a woman has difficulty parallel parking.
I am kind of disappointed that Court TV's moderator took off all the anti-Nate posts.. because frankly I found them incredibly entertaining. Court TV also disappointed the bulletin board posters by shutting the forum for the weekend forcing them to leave their computer screens and go outside to enjoy the nice weather.
If you are not familiar with the Court TV bulletin board, let's put it in some perspective. There are a few people who populate that bulletin board who apparently have nothing better to do than debate some of the more bizarre minutae involved in this story. On Sentencing Day Thursday, some people speculated about whether the prison would give Melanie tampons or maxi pads. Earlier that day a wave of fury erupted on this bulletin board when the participants realized that the sentencing would not be airing on Court TV because of the explosion in Manhattan on Wed. night. Due to environmental concerns involving asbestos, the Court TV building was shut down and they were unable to broadcast the sentencing. It seems that this was not a good enough excuse for some of these people, since many posters felt that technicians should have bypassed the security, and risk their lives to enter the building so they could get their daily Court TV fix. After seeing the horrific after effects of the air pollution caused by 9-11, I guess health risks are not as important as seeing live how many years Melanie would serve. Ultimately, the coverage was picked up on News 12 NJ, causing many out of state board posters to express a desire to live in the Garden State, at least for just one day.
It's interesting how some of the posters talk like they know the family. They have become so immersed with this website that they really think they know these people. With an exception or two, that bulletin board's population did not know the victim. The victim's niece spoke eloquently at the sentencing on Thursday about how she used to make fun of his legs when he would wear shorts. She said that every time she thinks about his legs, she remembers how they were in that waterlogged suitcase. Its not the song that hurts them; its the reminders that hurt them. He may have liked Cherry Garcia ice cream; they might walk through a supermarket and see Cherry Garcia and that would bring back memories. I think he liked the Yankees too... Those reminders are small paper cuts compared to the major wound caused by the death.
Let's set the record straight - The song was not written to make fun of the victim.
The song is about the criminal and her crime.... It has its graphic moments but the crime is graphic. The woman didnt just shoot him in a fit of anger. She meticulously planned out every detail of the "perfect crime". Crimefighters always have to build a better mousetrap because you will always find a smarter mouse. That is why computer firewalls are a multi-million dollar industry. Melanie thought she was a smart mouse. She figured if she chopped her husband up, the suitcases would sink to the bottom of The Chesapeake and people would just assume he walked out on her. She even went as far as to create the perfect crime scene - an unused apartment she was renting. She had just closed on her house - she needed him to be alive on Closing Day since NJ law says both husband and wife must sign the closing papers (and she probably needed his income for the mortgage too), so she knew that once the house was hers, the old apartment would be the perfect crime scene. She would continue to hold it until after she killed him and she would have time to clean it thoroughly. If neighbors know a woman is moving out, they wouldn't think twice about seeing her (and an accomplice) shlepping heavy boxes and suitcases out of her apartment. And as for the accomplice, I hope he sleeps at night with one eye open, because he will probably be the next one to get arrested.
Little did she know that the suitcases would float up to the surface..
Then the preposterous lies started. She called EZ Pass to challenge a fee that put her at the scene of the crime. She told police she was in AC because she was "moving his car to mess with his mind", when in reality she planted the car there to stage his disappearance. Some of the comments she made in her ABC News interview also showed firsthand that she is a pathological liar. She thought she was such a smart little mouse. And when we build better mousetraps, it's important to never forget the clever mice who thought they could get away with it. That's why we fight computer hackers and study murderous dictators who rose to power. Melanie is no Hitler, but she is much worse than a computer hacker.
In retrospect, the song is tacky.... I wouldn't say that its funny... but the way it matches up with the poetry of "Creeque Alley" is definitely quite clever if I may say so myself. Whats the difference it would have been a book or movie about the crime and the criminal? Do you sugar coat the reality of how diabolical and brutal she was?
By the way the posters might be disappointed that Court TV shut the site down for the weekend. They can always post to the Harry Potter bulletin board. I heard the book ends with him at a New Jersey diner ordering onion rings while a woman has difficulty parallel parking.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Baseball 2Q: The Lingering After-Effects of McGuire and McGwire
101…. 101…. Seeee Beeeeee Essssssssssssssssssssss FM….
Hey folks CBS-FM is back and if you hit the play button right now you will see that you have 8 seconds to read this before the words start.. … It’s the Mamas and The Papas with Creeque Alley.. Oldies Radio is back in NY!!
It’s great to have CBS-FM back! Now people will get to hear these legendary songs again so they can understand the song parodies!! Today in honor of the return of CBS FM we bring you the video premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”. See the 2 prior Melanie columns in the archives on the left if you are not up to date on what has gone on to this point. Again, apologies to anyone who is offended.. the song was created to portray the incredible evil of Ms. McGuire. Her narcissism is captured in the video in the shot where we address the absurdity of her tale that she went to AC to move her husband's car just to mess with his mind!… How stupid does she think the police and jury are? The sentencing is set for July 19th; an mp3 will be available soon.. and now the Premiere of the video for “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007.
The Giants hosted Tuesdays All Star Game and the San Francisco fans are the only ones who seem to be rooting for Barry Bonds to break Hank Aaron’s home run record. It’s just a matter of time before Hank Aaron’s 30+ year run as Home Run King comes to an end. But legacy-wise, Bonds will forever be linked to another one who shares Melanie’s last name.. Mark McGwire. While Melanie went to Walgreen’s to buy poison, Mark was allegedly stocking up on other stuff.. and both he and Bonds will always be looked at as having padded their power numbers by using muscle enhancing supplements.
McGwire’s former manager Tony LaRussa really came off as being quite the idiot as The National League went down to their 10th consecutive All Star loss.. How does he not send up Albert Pujols, arguably the best player in the game (and McGwire’s replacement as St. Louis Cardinals first baseman) to bat for Aaron Rowand with the bases loaded and 2 out in the 9th inning? The stupid All Star Game rules stipulate that the winner gets home field advantage and La Russa knew full well that his lousy Cardinals weren’t going to be going to The World Series this year.. LaRussa claims that if the game went extra innings he would have been out of bench players. Well as Warner Wolf would say.. “Change The Rule”… I say that if all the players are used during the 9 regulation innings, they should allow the 8 starting position players voted in by the fans to come back into the game! Baseball is the only sport that doesn’t allow a player who leaves the game to come back.. why not make the game more fan friendly.. that way you get all the position players in the game and if it goes late…. the popular ones come right back in for a 2nd time!
This losing streak has gotten really bad…The last time the National League won the game was way back on July 9, 1996. That day the Nationals scored 4 runs in the first 3 innings and shut out the American League 6-0. This current AL winning streak is now 1 short of the National League’s 11 game winning streak from 1972-1982. Now those were the good old days!
I remember as a kid that the National League always featured a Met or 2… and I would always show up to day camp the next day beaming with pride after yet another NL victory. As I mentioned in the June 29 column, I was a counselor at a local day camp in 1982 and I remember that in the morning I would always gather my little Pac Men together to chat for a few minutes as we were getting ready to start the day. I remember asking… how many of the guys in my bunk saw the Game… At that point the previously mentioned kid with the Rather Unusual First Name asked me why I called it a bunk if we were in a day camp. And my literate camper asked me if they allowed free substitution in the All Star Game.. wouldn’t it be anti Paradigmatic? I shook my head and told the kids to get their lanyards ready for Arts and Crafts.. . Incidentally, my buddy Steve tells me that since that June 29th column his friend has signed emails as "The Kid With The Rather Unusual First Name"!
I remember the 1982 game.. it was 25 years ago tom’w on July 13, 1982.. it was played in Olympic Stadium in Montreal… the home of the Expos. The game was also known that year as Partie D’etoiles. Local Expo hero Steve Rogers and Dennis Eckersely were the starters.. My homeboys won the game 4-1 thanks to a spectacular defensive play in the first by Ozzie Smith that saved 2 runs. Smith’s fellow Cardinal Lonnie Smith also made the team.. at least that year Tommy Lasorda had the common sense to play the Cardinals on his team. The AL was managed by Billy Martin.. and if you have been watching that ESPN miniseries.. it’s quite impressive how John Turturro resembles the late Yankee skipper.
Baseball is always looking for a kick in the tuchis and one of the agents.. Scott Boras had an idea about changing the World Series to a best of 9 and having the first 2 games played at a neutral spot and making a whole big showcase out of it like the Super Bowl. That big baseball weekend would also include the Post Season Awards for MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year. I agree except I would keep it as a best of 7 series.. Play games 1 and 2 at the neutral spot to kick off the event.. then give games 3 and 4 to the World Series team with the best record, send the series to the other city for Games 5 and 6 and back to the host city for Game 7. Granted, one team will be on the road for four games and could be swept right out without a home game.. but it might not be a bad idea to create more excitement.
One other point – has any baseball player fallen downhill more dramatically than White Sox Pitcher Jose Contreras? Maybe a trade to the Mets might jump start him out of his slump. Last year at the All Star Break, Contreras had a 17 game winning streak but since then he has gone 9-19! Before this year long slump, his career record was 44-18! I know this because Contreras along with El Duque are both on my rotiserrie baseball team… and both are Cuban defectors. In honor of their adventurous arrival from the land of Castro, I named my team Havana-Gila and my team logo is a hat that says “Uruachim”.
When the season started we presented our picks (see the March 2007 archives) and some of them are right on the money. Some aren’t.
It looks like I’m eating crow on the Red Sox not making the playoffs.. so Im gonna change my pick of the (White) Sox winning their division to the (Red) Sox. I still like the Indians to make the post season…. Probably as division winners and the Angels look like they are the team from the West. Who pray tell will be The Wild Card? Well if the Yankees can pull it off., then I would have 3 of the 4 teams picked correctly from the AL>.. Yankee fans may not want to hear this, but I never get 3 of 4 teams right. My surprise team was the Mariners and they are definite Wild Card contenders, and my pick for Disappointment was the Oriole fans who were buying all the hype.
In the National League it looks I was totally wrong on the Astros,.. they seem too far back at this point… and if anyone can catch the Brewers, it should be the Cubs. After all they have 3 studs in their line up in Alfonso Soirano, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. I’m stunned theyre not in first place, but the Brewers have some great young players and potential MVP Prince Fielder looks to be the Justin Morneau of the Brew Crew. It looks like I missed the boat with Phillies, Astros and D-Backs as division winners.. but in reality, my wild card pick the Mets look like they will pull off the division and Im going with the Phils to win the Wild Card.. I think the Brewers should hold on, and my Dodger pick looks weak now that off season acquisitions Jason Schmidt and Randy Wolf have turned out to be injury prone duds. Chris Young has turned out to be a great pitcher on the Padres (he was the loser in the All Star Game by the way) and Jake Peavy who started the game is also having a great year… They currently rank 1-2 in ERA. If Greg Maddux can pull out a 15 win season yet again.. and fellow old timer David Wells can keep his temper in gear and pitch well, it looks like the Pods are the team. They have also made some shrewd moves by picking up some good spare parts in Milton Bradley and Michael Barrett.
I’m staying with my Mets-Phillies prediction for the NLCS…although common sense would indicate that the Phils probably are not going that far . My preseason surprise pick – The Cubs..they will probably be in the Wild Card race right to the very end. My preseason NL Disappointment team – St. Louis… I think that has turned out to be quite accurate!
My World Series pick.. I’m sticking to my guns.. Indians against the Mets. The only bummer is the Mets will have to travel to Jacobs Field if the series goes 7.
Thank you Tony LaRussa.
Now time for the Bonus Clip of the Week.. continuing our theme this summer of musical geniuses named Neil (Fein and Diamond) … and my Cuban baseball players… and 25 years since the 82 All Star Game.. (Watch for the 25) here is Neil Diamond from The Jazz Singer with his version of….. Hava Nagila!!
Up Next ----> The Movie Club Reviews Come Back!!
Hey folks CBS-FM is back and if you hit the play button right now you will see that you have 8 seconds to read this before the words start.. … It’s the Mamas and The Papas with Creeque Alley.. Oldies Radio is back in NY!!
It’s great to have CBS-FM back! Now people will get to hear these legendary songs again so they can understand the song parodies!! Today in honor of the return of CBS FM we bring you the video premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”. See the 2 prior Melanie columns in the archives on the left if you are not up to date on what has gone on to this point. Again, apologies to anyone who is offended.. the song was created to portray the incredible evil of Ms. McGuire. Her narcissism is captured in the video in the shot where we address the absurdity of her tale that she went to AC to move her husband's car just to mess with his mind!… How stupid does she think the police and jury are? The sentencing is set for July 19th; an mp3 will be available soon.. and now the Premiere of the video for “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007.
The Giants hosted Tuesdays All Star Game and the San Francisco fans are the only ones who seem to be rooting for Barry Bonds to break Hank Aaron’s home run record. It’s just a matter of time before Hank Aaron’s 30+ year run as Home Run King comes to an end. But legacy-wise, Bonds will forever be linked to another one who shares Melanie’s last name.. Mark McGwire. While Melanie went to Walgreen’s to buy poison, Mark was allegedly stocking up on other stuff.. and both he and Bonds will always be looked at as having padded their power numbers by using muscle enhancing supplements.
McGwire’s former manager Tony LaRussa really came off as being quite the idiot as The National League went down to their 10th consecutive All Star loss.. How does he not send up Albert Pujols, arguably the best player in the game (and McGwire’s replacement as St. Louis Cardinals first baseman) to bat for Aaron Rowand with the bases loaded and 2 out in the 9th inning? The stupid All Star Game rules stipulate that the winner gets home field advantage and La Russa knew full well that his lousy Cardinals weren’t going to be going to The World Series this year.. LaRussa claims that if the game went extra innings he would have been out of bench players. Well as Warner Wolf would say.. “Change The Rule”… I say that if all the players are used during the 9 regulation innings, they should allow the 8 starting position players voted in by the fans to come back into the game! Baseball is the only sport that doesn’t allow a player who leaves the game to come back.. why not make the game more fan friendly.. that way you get all the position players in the game and if it goes late…. the popular ones come right back in for a 2nd time!
This losing streak has gotten really bad…The last time the National League won the game was way back on July 9, 1996. That day the Nationals scored 4 runs in the first 3 innings and shut out the American League 6-0. This current AL winning streak is now 1 short of the National League’s 11 game winning streak from 1972-1982. Now those were the good old days!
I remember as a kid that the National League always featured a Met or 2… and I would always show up to day camp the next day beaming with pride after yet another NL victory. As I mentioned in the June 29 column, I was a counselor at a local day camp in 1982 and I remember that in the morning I would always gather my little Pac Men together to chat for a few minutes as we were getting ready to start the day. I remember asking… how many of the guys in my bunk saw the Game… At that point the previously mentioned kid with the Rather Unusual First Name asked me why I called it a bunk if we were in a day camp. And my literate camper asked me if they allowed free substitution in the All Star Game.. wouldn’t it be anti Paradigmatic? I shook my head and told the kids to get their lanyards ready for Arts and Crafts.. . Incidentally, my buddy Steve tells me that since that June 29th column his friend has signed emails as "The Kid With The Rather Unusual First Name"!
I remember the 1982 game.. it was 25 years ago tom’w on July 13, 1982.. it was played in Olympic Stadium in Montreal… the home of the Expos. The game was also known that year as Partie D’etoiles. Local Expo hero Steve Rogers and Dennis Eckersely were the starters.. My homeboys won the game 4-1 thanks to a spectacular defensive play in the first by Ozzie Smith that saved 2 runs. Smith’s fellow Cardinal Lonnie Smith also made the team.. at least that year Tommy Lasorda had the common sense to play the Cardinals on his team. The AL was managed by Billy Martin.. and if you have been watching that ESPN miniseries.. it’s quite impressive how John Turturro resembles the late Yankee skipper.
Baseball is always looking for a kick in the tuchis and one of the agents.. Scott Boras had an idea about changing the World Series to a best of 9 and having the first 2 games played at a neutral spot and making a whole big showcase out of it like the Super Bowl. That big baseball weekend would also include the Post Season Awards for MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year. I agree except I would keep it as a best of 7 series.. Play games 1 and 2 at the neutral spot to kick off the event.. then give games 3 and 4 to the World Series team with the best record, send the series to the other city for Games 5 and 6 and back to the host city for Game 7. Granted, one team will be on the road for four games and could be swept right out without a home game.. but it might not be a bad idea to create more excitement.
One other point – has any baseball player fallen downhill more dramatically than White Sox Pitcher Jose Contreras? Maybe a trade to the Mets might jump start him out of his slump. Last year at the All Star Break, Contreras had a 17 game winning streak but since then he has gone 9-19! Before this year long slump, his career record was 44-18! I know this because Contreras along with El Duque are both on my rotiserrie baseball team… and both are Cuban defectors. In honor of their adventurous arrival from the land of Castro, I named my team Havana-Gila and my team logo is a hat that says “Uruachim”.
When the season started we presented our picks (see the March 2007 archives) and some of them are right on the money. Some aren’t.
It looks like I’m eating crow on the Red Sox not making the playoffs.. so Im gonna change my pick of the (White) Sox winning their division to the (Red) Sox. I still like the Indians to make the post season…. Probably as division winners and the Angels look like they are the team from the West. Who pray tell will be The Wild Card? Well if the Yankees can pull it off., then I would have 3 of the 4 teams picked correctly from the AL>.. Yankee fans may not want to hear this, but I never get 3 of 4 teams right. My surprise team was the Mariners and they are definite Wild Card contenders, and my pick for Disappointment was the Oriole fans who were buying all the hype.
In the National League it looks I was totally wrong on the Astros,.. they seem too far back at this point… and if anyone can catch the Brewers, it should be the Cubs. After all they have 3 studs in their line up in Alfonso Soirano, Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. I’m stunned theyre not in first place, but the Brewers have some great young players and potential MVP Prince Fielder looks to be the Justin Morneau of the Brew Crew. It looks like I missed the boat with Phillies, Astros and D-Backs as division winners.. but in reality, my wild card pick the Mets look like they will pull off the division and Im going with the Phils to win the Wild Card.. I think the Brewers should hold on, and my Dodger pick looks weak now that off season acquisitions Jason Schmidt and Randy Wolf have turned out to be injury prone duds. Chris Young has turned out to be a great pitcher on the Padres (he was the loser in the All Star Game by the way) and Jake Peavy who started the game is also having a great year… They currently rank 1-2 in ERA. If Greg Maddux can pull out a 15 win season yet again.. and fellow old timer David Wells can keep his temper in gear and pitch well, it looks like the Pods are the team. They have also made some shrewd moves by picking up some good spare parts in Milton Bradley and Michael Barrett.
I’m staying with my Mets-Phillies prediction for the NLCS…although common sense would indicate that the Phils probably are not going that far . My preseason surprise pick – The Cubs..they will probably be in the Wild Card race right to the very end. My preseason NL Disappointment team – St. Louis… I think that has turned out to be quite accurate!
My World Series pick.. I’m sticking to my guns.. Indians against the Mets. The only bummer is the Mets will have to travel to Jacobs Field if the series goes 7.
Thank you Tony LaRussa.
Now time for the Bonus Clip of the Week.. continuing our theme this summer of musical geniuses named Neil (Fein and Diamond) … and my Cuban baseball players… and 25 years since the 82 All Star Game.. (Watch for the 25) here is Neil Diamond from The Jazz Singer with his version of….. Hava Nagila!!
Up Next ----> The Movie Club Reviews Come Back!!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Thoughts for July 4th – Freedom, FAN, Fun, But No Funky
Hello Folks and welcome to our annual July 4th column.. to see last year’s column.. check out the archives...
Being the son of an immigrant… my dad came over from Europe in 1948 after The Holocaust … July 4th is really Thanksgiving to me... and deserves major celebrations! So today we address some of the Freedoms we get… the Freedom of Speech which allows us to have open newspapers and radio allowing us to speak freely.
TALK RADIO – I don’t agree with a lot of the hosts.,. but in America goofballs like Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh and possibly Ann Coulter are welcome to speak about their views on government… even when they clumsily defend Our Evil President’s disgraceful actions involving his partner in crime Scooter Libby. Inflammatory speech however is not part of the freedoms allowed in freedom of speech so I’m not too sure someone like Coulter should be allowed to flap her yapper especially with her horrible comments about the 9-11 widows and Presidential contender John Edwards.
Talk radio makes a lot of money for some people.. but the richest talk station is WFAN which appeals to that much desired male demographic informally referred to as guys who spend money. This past week WFAN celebrated its 20th anniversary with an incredible reunion highlighted by one hour shifts by hosts who hadn’t been heard on the station in many many moons. One interesting tidbit was passed along during a rather dry hour by Spencer Ross who talked about radio research conducted by the all news stations many years ago where participants indicated they did not want to listen to reports about… sports! Yet now, WFAN is the most profitable station in the country.. thanks mostly to non sports host Don Imus who brought in millions and millions of bucks.
In case you missed the reunion weekend, it was nice to hear the former hosts again… such as Ed Coleman and Dave Sims.. Sims is now the Mariners radio announcer while Coleman works the Met broadcasts. Russ Salzberg did a pro Imus rant.. and former overnight hosts Joe Beningo and Steve Somers did a live remote which included a salute to the former callers including the late legendary Doris Bauer from Rego Park who despite a chronic cough had some delightful insights that she often shared with the hosts. One late summer night during a too long drive home from the Jersey shore, my non sports fan buddy Mike listened to a Doris call to Jody MacDonald and exclaimed how amazed he was that a woman would know that much about sports!
Here were some of the highlights from the weekend…
Bill Mazer – Rumor has it he is in his late 80s and by his shaky voice you could tell that he has aged quite a bit... but once he got going you could see that the Amazing One is still as sharp as a tack talking about stuff from many years ago as it were yesterday and still able to talk about sports current events too. I thought he had “retired”, but apparently he still does a daily airshift at a Westchester station. He opened the show by speaking of his grandfather and great-grandfather who lived past 100 – and neither really retired. But his dad who did retire.. actually died in his late 60s.. hence Bill’s work ethic!
I always got a kick out of how he ended each broadcast.. either radio or on Channel 5 by saying “Thank You It’s Been a Pleasure”. I always wanted to order a call girl for him just to see if he would say that to her too.. (how Kushner-esque, but I wouldn’t videotape it!),. Ultimately, at the end of his hour the 80-something Mazer did not say “Thank You It’s been a pleasure”.. but instead wrapped up his hour on the 20th anniversary special with a shout out to the program director informing him he planned to be back for the 50th anniversary. As they say in Yiddish.. “biss a hundred and tzvantzik” (May he live to be 120)
Spencer Ross – Spencer dropped a side comment about his dislike for Pete Franklin the late rabble rousing afternoon drive host pre- Mike and the Mad Dog. Moments later leading out of a commercial, the producer surprised him and replayed a lengthy diatribe by Franklin where he bellowed about a feud with other staffers including Ross. Once he was back on the air, Ross went nuts totally dissing Franklin and I could swear used the word a-hole! Ross musta really had a lot of pent up hatred for ol Pete.. Incidentally, I did 2 radio internships.. the 2nd was in the Fall of ’88 at WFAN when Pete was working there. He really wasn’t friendly to anyone and used to come into the newsroom during commercial breaks and regardless if anyone was watching the newsroom TVs would turn each one of them off and announce.. “If you wanna watch TV.. go work at a TV station”. And he did this all the time.. Incidentally, my first internship was at WMCA when Chris Russo was an unknown weekend host, and back then I used to tell him that one day he would take Pete Franklin’s job and be the afternoon drive host on WFAN!!
Jim Lampley – the last host on the reunion, he was the first ever host on WFAN and yours truly was his third caller that fateful day. Lampley did his show from The West Coast and made it a point to inform listeners that he drove more than 100 miles to get to the studio. Lampley had some interesting moments including a call from a former co-worker who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder because Lampley didn’t help him during the early days when he attempted to launch a broadcasting career. It was quite bizarre. But the biggest news I learned during Lampley’s show.. long time radio caller Bruce From Flushing… who has been calling in shows since they came out with keypads and redial…is now married! (He is an observant Jew and didn’t call in during the Sabbath for Day 1 of the reunion and its all Jewish lineup!)
NEWSPAPERS AND OTHER RELATED MEDIA – The Star Ledger to me is the best paper.. I read a ton of papers online… but the Star Ledger is part of my daily FDA required reading and I have been a regular reader since I was a little pisher. Every day starts out with the comics, which is why today I want to discuss Two Things I Would Do If I was Running The Star Ledger.
1. Drop Funky Winkerbean from the comics until its new format starts later in the Fall. Just in case you haven’t heard.,.. For Better or For Worse, one of just a few comics where the characters age naturally will freeze in time this fall… Funky which was frozen in time in the earlier days when it was funny, had its characters start to age after the original cast of Funky and Les graduated from high school.
This fall, the Funky characters will age 10 years…and according to published reports Lisa the cancer stricken wife of Les is going to die. This really bugs me. Even though she is a fictional character, cartoonist Tom Batiuk has tortured her with untold suffering that has no place on the funny pages. Word on the street is her death may come in an unexpected manner… she is on the cusp of discovering that the son she gave up for adoption is a local yokel kid.. Maybe the boy will save her life with some rare blood type transfusion, only to have the strip pick up 10 years later and she died in the interim? Highly unlikely since Tuesday’s strip had the poor husband hear that his wife only had months left. How horrible to put this where little kids learn to read!…..The strip is just out of line… and if it were up to me, I would drop it till the story gets resolved. Kids who read the paper don’t have to be exposed to this,…. They should be watching Dennis menace or the Lockhorns lock horns... or Andy Capp's wife develop an odd admiring fascination with the Melanie McGuire Story, or The Little Family Circus kids say cute things even though they are all in their 50s now.
2. Change the website. The Ledger doesn’t have a regular site, but shares it with other Jersey papers as part of NJ.com.
I was recently made aware of some absurd cheap shots being launched towards a few people I know on a local town bulletin board. In my best Dennis Miller rant imitation, if we want to make the internet better… why doesn’t NJ.com shut down those God damn bulletin boards that allow people to make nasty personal comments while hiding behind the cloak of anonymity. It’s really heroic that these moronic losers can just say what they want without posting their real name.. Knowing full well that these gutless weasels don’t possess the balls to make these comments to these people right to their faces. Read the Constitution folks - Freedom of speech doesn’t allow people to make blasphemous comments about public figures just because you have some silly little personal issue with them.... The Star Ledger, otherwise a fantastic source of journalism has sunk to a new low by allowing this forum fiasco - they would never publish a letter in the paper without a name… (They will withhold identities upon request), and they would never allow their newspaper to carry the garbage that pollutes their website. The daughter of retiring NJ State Senator Bob Littell was recently rebuffed by a judge in her attempt to unmask one of these cowards after one of them made a disparaging comment about her young child on that bulletin board.
If NJ.com were more responsible they would shut down their forums and only allow postings IF THE PERSON USES THEIR REAL NAME… These gutless weasels wouldn’t say a peep if they had to attach their name to their comments…and all these cowards who make absurd comments about respected people in the community can just disappear into the woodwork and go back to looking at porn or learning better ways to hold the broom while they are on the job, or whatever it is that these pathetic losers do.
Remember… freedom of speech has to be understood to be appreciated. It doesn’t give ARod’s wife the right to wear a vulgar t shirt while parents of young kids cringe out of fear that their kid will see it… but freedom`as intended by our founding fathers is one heckuva beautiful thing…
Now time for The Clip of The Week - Last week I mentioned Neil Diamond's awesome Kol Nidre in The Jazz Singer. Today in honor of July 4th, here he is performing America!
Have a wonderful 4th of July!
Being the son of an immigrant… my dad came over from Europe in 1948 after The Holocaust … July 4th is really Thanksgiving to me... and deserves major celebrations! So today we address some of the Freedoms we get… the Freedom of Speech which allows us to have open newspapers and radio allowing us to speak freely.
TALK RADIO – I don’t agree with a lot of the hosts.,. but in America goofballs like Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh and possibly Ann Coulter are welcome to speak about their views on government… even when they clumsily defend Our Evil President’s disgraceful actions involving his partner in crime Scooter Libby. Inflammatory speech however is not part of the freedoms allowed in freedom of speech so I’m not too sure someone like Coulter should be allowed to flap her yapper especially with her horrible comments about the 9-11 widows and Presidential contender John Edwards.
Talk radio makes a lot of money for some people.. but the richest talk station is WFAN which appeals to that much desired male demographic informally referred to as guys who spend money. This past week WFAN celebrated its 20th anniversary with an incredible reunion highlighted by one hour shifts by hosts who hadn’t been heard on the station in many many moons. One interesting tidbit was passed along during a rather dry hour by Spencer Ross who talked about radio research conducted by the all news stations many years ago where participants indicated they did not want to listen to reports about… sports! Yet now, WFAN is the most profitable station in the country.. thanks mostly to non sports host Don Imus who brought in millions and millions of bucks.
In case you missed the reunion weekend, it was nice to hear the former hosts again… such as Ed Coleman and Dave Sims.. Sims is now the Mariners radio announcer while Coleman works the Met broadcasts. Russ Salzberg did a pro Imus rant.. and former overnight hosts Joe Beningo and Steve Somers did a live remote which included a salute to the former callers including the late legendary Doris Bauer from Rego Park who despite a chronic cough had some delightful insights that she often shared with the hosts. One late summer night during a too long drive home from the Jersey shore, my non sports fan buddy Mike listened to a Doris call to Jody MacDonald and exclaimed how amazed he was that a woman would know that much about sports!
Here were some of the highlights from the weekend…
Bill Mazer – Rumor has it he is in his late 80s and by his shaky voice you could tell that he has aged quite a bit... but once he got going you could see that the Amazing One is still as sharp as a tack talking about stuff from many years ago as it were yesterday and still able to talk about sports current events too. I thought he had “retired”, but apparently he still does a daily airshift at a Westchester station. He opened the show by speaking of his grandfather and great-grandfather who lived past 100 – and neither really retired. But his dad who did retire.. actually died in his late 60s.. hence Bill’s work ethic!
I always got a kick out of how he ended each broadcast.. either radio or on Channel 5 by saying “Thank You It’s Been a Pleasure”. I always wanted to order a call girl for him just to see if he would say that to her too.. (how Kushner-esque, but I wouldn’t videotape it!),. Ultimately, at the end of his hour the 80-something Mazer did not say “Thank You It’s been a pleasure”.. but instead wrapped up his hour on the 20th anniversary special with a shout out to the program director informing him he planned to be back for the 50th anniversary. As they say in Yiddish.. “biss a hundred and tzvantzik” (May he live to be 120)
Spencer Ross – Spencer dropped a side comment about his dislike for Pete Franklin the late rabble rousing afternoon drive host pre- Mike and the Mad Dog. Moments later leading out of a commercial, the producer surprised him and replayed a lengthy diatribe by Franklin where he bellowed about a feud with other staffers including Ross. Once he was back on the air, Ross went nuts totally dissing Franklin and I could swear used the word a-hole! Ross musta really had a lot of pent up hatred for ol Pete.. Incidentally, I did 2 radio internships.. the 2nd was in the Fall of ’88 at WFAN when Pete was working there. He really wasn’t friendly to anyone and used to come into the newsroom during commercial breaks and regardless if anyone was watching the newsroom TVs would turn each one of them off and announce.. “If you wanna watch TV.. go work at a TV station”. And he did this all the time.. Incidentally, my first internship was at WMCA when Chris Russo was an unknown weekend host, and back then I used to tell him that one day he would take Pete Franklin’s job and be the afternoon drive host on WFAN!!
Jim Lampley – the last host on the reunion, he was the first ever host on WFAN and yours truly was his third caller that fateful day. Lampley did his show from The West Coast and made it a point to inform listeners that he drove more than 100 miles to get to the studio. Lampley had some interesting moments including a call from a former co-worker who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder because Lampley didn’t help him during the early days when he attempted to launch a broadcasting career. It was quite bizarre. But the biggest news I learned during Lampley’s show.. long time radio caller Bruce From Flushing… who has been calling in shows since they came out with keypads and redial…is now married! (He is an observant Jew and didn’t call in during the Sabbath for Day 1 of the reunion and its all Jewish lineup!)
NEWSPAPERS AND OTHER RELATED MEDIA – The Star Ledger to me is the best paper.. I read a ton of papers online… but the Star Ledger is part of my daily FDA required reading and I have been a regular reader since I was a little pisher. Every day starts out with the comics, which is why today I want to discuss Two Things I Would Do If I was Running The Star Ledger.
1. Drop Funky Winkerbean from the comics until its new format starts later in the Fall. Just in case you haven’t heard.,.. For Better or For Worse, one of just a few comics where the characters age naturally will freeze in time this fall… Funky which was frozen in time in the earlier days when it was funny, had its characters start to age after the original cast of Funky and Les graduated from high school.
This fall, the Funky characters will age 10 years…and according to published reports Lisa the cancer stricken wife of Les is going to die. This really bugs me. Even though she is a fictional character, cartoonist Tom Batiuk has tortured her with untold suffering that has no place on the funny pages. Word on the street is her death may come in an unexpected manner… she is on the cusp of discovering that the son she gave up for adoption is a local yokel kid.. Maybe the boy will save her life with some rare blood type transfusion, only to have the strip pick up 10 years later and she died in the interim? Highly unlikely since Tuesday’s strip had the poor husband hear that his wife only had months left. How horrible to put this where little kids learn to read!…..The strip is just out of line… and if it were up to me, I would drop it till the story gets resolved. Kids who read the paper don’t have to be exposed to this,…. They should be watching Dennis menace or the Lockhorns lock horns... or Andy Capp's wife develop an odd admiring fascination with the Melanie McGuire Story, or The Little Family Circus kids say cute things even though they are all in their 50s now.
2. Change the website. The Ledger doesn’t have a regular site, but shares it with other Jersey papers as part of NJ.com.
I was recently made aware of some absurd cheap shots being launched towards a few people I know on a local town bulletin board. In my best Dennis Miller rant imitation, if we want to make the internet better… why doesn’t NJ.com shut down those God damn bulletin boards that allow people to make nasty personal comments while hiding behind the cloak of anonymity. It’s really heroic that these moronic losers can just say what they want without posting their real name.. Knowing full well that these gutless weasels don’t possess the balls to make these comments to these people right to their faces. Read the Constitution folks - Freedom of speech doesn’t allow people to make blasphemous comments about public figures just because you have some silly little personal issue with them.... The Star Ledger, otherwise a fantastic source of journalism has sunk to a new low by allowing this forum fiasco - they would never publish a letter in the paper without a name… (They will withhold identities upon request), and they would never allow their newspaper to carry the garbage that pollutes their website. The daughter of retiring NJ State Senator Bob Littell was recently rebuffed by a judge in her attempt to unmask one of these cowards after one of them made a disparaging comment about her young child on that bulletin board.
If NJ.com were more responsible they would shut down their forums and only allow postings IF THE PERSON USES THEIR REAL NAME… These gutless weasels wouldn’t say a peep if they had to attach their name to their comments…and all these cowards who make absurd comments about respected people in the community can just disappear into the woodwork and go back to looking at porn or learning better ways to hold the broom while they are on the job, or whatever it is that these pathetic losers do.
Remember… freedom of speech has to be understood to be appreciated. It doesn’t give ARod’s wife the right to wear a vulgar t shirt while parents of young kids cringe out of fear that their kid will see it… but freedom`as intended by our founding fathers is one heckuva beautiful thing…
Now time for The Clip of The Week - Last week I mentioned Neil Diamond's awesome Kol Nidre in The Jazz Singer. Today in honor of July 4th, here he is performing America!
Have a wonderful 4th of July!
Friday, June 29, 2007
TV Quarterly Report Part II - Curbed Enthusiasm for the New Season and A Trip Back to the 80s.
Now it’s time for Part II of our TV Quarterly Report…
The big TV news this week is that Isiah Washington claims he was fired from Grey's Anatomy due to racism against him. This comes after he used a gay slur, but in this post Imus PC era we live in.. such activity is a no no.. and coming on the heels of the downfall of the I-man... it was inevitable that Washington would go. You wonder if Al Sharpton will jump on the pro-Isiah bandwagon but the news stations are too busy covering the murdered pregnant woman, the dead wrestler and Paris Hilton to give Al the airtime. And by the way, this weekend, when WFAN celebrates its 20th anniversary.. there will be no I-man.. you can get an I-phone though. Anyone catch that Fox clip where the reporter covering the I-Phone had her microphone stolen during her live on air report?
Looking ahead to next season. none of the new shows have caught my attention except for the new one with Kelsey Grammer as a news anchorman and the remake of The Bionic Woman. I will hold off for now on my comments on the ABC News interview with Melanie McLiar... but did you ever see anything as bizarre as the last Price is Right with Bob Barker? Was that not the craziest piece of Americana? Bob downplayed his last episode.. saving only a few comments for the very end.. Meanwhile, the studio audience consisted of a bunch of un-showered over - exhausted over caffeinated goofballs who spent 5 days camping outside CBS so they could get a seat in the studio audience for Bob’s last show… As a viewer you could definitely feel the energy, excitement, and sense of anticipation of television history in the audience during the final episode.
One other thing.. The new HBO show “John from Cincinnati”… Helloooooooooooo who the heck cast Rebecca DeMornay as the grandmother of a teenager? Are you people crazy… she’s in her late 40s and looks like shes at least 10 years younger. The actor playing her grandson is 17 and the guy playing her son is only 10 years younger than she is.. And he looks even older than she does!
This past season I didn’t really jump in on too many new shows: I started watching The Nine.. but that died a quick death.. And other than Heroes and 1 vs. 100, no new shows really caught my attention. The only other network shows I watched this season other than the ones mentioned in Part I last month were Law and Order SVU and Desperate Housewives…. I also watched half the episodes during the final season of The Sopranos… and I love Entourage.. especially the toast that came at the end of the season finale… a Spanish phrase that has terrified me to take a vow of sobriety during wedding toasts out of fear I might repeat it to a Spanish speaking audience!
There is one other show on HBO I started watching this season - Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David. One thing I liked was how both CYE and Entourage have bizarre notions about how Jews spend Yom Kippur. Entourage was incredibly hysterical when the Reform guys involved in producing the movie Medellin smuggled their cell phones into their temple and conducted business, but the Orthodox guy refuses to be interrupted at his synagogue during the holiest day of the year. There were also some Yom Kippur shenanigans on CYE and of course the ultimate was from the Barry Levinson movie Liberty Heights… where the characters sneak out of synagogue during the High Holy Days and walk over to the nearby car dealership because that is the day that the next years models are going to be released. Of course the ultimate Yom Kippur scene was in “The Jazz Singer” when Neil Diamond unleashed a fantastic rendition of Kol Nidre.
I wasn’t so sure I would like CYE.. Prior to watching it I found an article online written in The Jersusalem Post by Arye Dworken called “Is Anything Worth a Laugh?” where he criticizes some of the CYE humor as being anti Jewish. Before I get to the article, I knew Dworken many many moons ago when he was a little pisher.. We went to the same synagogue where his dad was the Rabbi (and one of the best in my book; DAS from DAS blog bears an uncanny resemblance to him) and he was actually once my camper at the local day camp 25 years ago during the summer of ‘82.
My little pishers named themselves “The Pacmen”… no doubt after future NFL Troublemaker Pacman Jones, who wasn’t even born yet! There was another kid in my bunk who had a Rather Unusual First Name…. Flash forward to August 2004 - I was reading an article in the paper about the funeral for legendary WFAN Mets announcer Bob Murphy. There in the article was a quote from a Met fan attending the funeral… and it was the same kid –with the rather unusual first name! I almost fell out of my chair… I had totally forgotten about this kid, and the last I saw of him was the last day of camp.. What do you say to a little pisher on the last day of camp? Good luck in school and if you keep your knees straight, you’ll be the best kickball player in the 2nd grade!”
Well a couple of months after seeing his name in the paper… Trophy Wife and I were at my pal Steve’s house at a costume party and they are giving out little door prizes for the costumes. Would you believe the winner was… the same former camper?? It turns out he and Steve are buddies from college, and I’ve actually seen him a couple of times since then. I always make it a point to remind him to thank his mom for the generous tip and to keep his knees straight so his kickball skills will improve.
Meanwhile my other camper Mr. Dworken wrote an article that argues that the Jewish jokes on CYE hit too close to home. In his case he was most offended by the Orthodox wisecracks… In the real world each different group busts on the other in what I hope is a good natured way.. The Reform and Conservative scratch their heads at some of the Orthodox things. And some Orthodox make wisecracks about the non Orthodox. Even some of my Orthodox relatives have made comments that we attend a Conservative synagogue… even though I met my wife there!
There is one factual boo boo in this otherwise fine article. He starts off by referring to Larry David’s masterpiece Seinfeld.. And the infamous Yadda Yadda episode that had a dentist converting to Judaism so he could make Jewish jokes. In the article he refers to that episode as an “early classic episode”.. but yadda yadda which I think is the best Seinfeld episode ever, actually aired in the later seasons..
One of the CYE episodes mentioned by Dworken is one that I saw before I read his article, and to be honest I also thought it was a bit odd. Larry goes on a skiing trip with an Orthodox friend and his daughter.. Larry is just attempting to kiss up to the guy by acting like he is religious since the guy is in charge of a transplant program and his buddy needs a new kidney. Here is a clip…
At the ski lodge the daughter who is single covers her head.. Actually, only Orthodox married women cover their heads. Then there is another scene where she jumps off a stalled ski lift she is sharing with Larry because she cant be alone with him because its getting dark outside. She asks him to jump but his reply is a rendition of Are You Nuts that is a bit vulgar for this blog. But the jumping puzzles me; I am familiar with certain laws about single women being alone with a man.. But I don’t know that that only applies to night time.. I thought its daytime too. But then again, if you are stranded on a ski lift that’s an extenuating circumstance (as Larry argued) so Im sure its ok. Heck, last Passover, a family of chusids were stranded for several hours on the Roosevelt Island ferry after the holiday started and after they were rescued they were driven home... even though observant Jews don't drive on the first 2 and last 2 days of Passover.
Another episode he mentioned just aired again recently - the one where Larry attempts to carry on an affair with a Hasidic woman. I won’t debate here if a hasidic woman would commit adultery. But they really stretched it when they showed her smoking outside her front door on the Sabbath!!! There is no way you will ever ever ever see a Chasidic woman smoking publicly on The Sabbath! Maybe in the little private room where they hide the tv? Maybe there.. But never in public. That episode also featured a very corny debate between Colby from Survivor and a Holocaust survivor about who is really a survivor. Not one of the better episodes.. They should have stuck to the old Seinfeld shtick about spoiled people owning ponies.. (Where the very old lady says…”I had a pony!”)
I cant say that I disagree with Dworken.. although I’m not too insulted by David’s humor.. But it was an entertaining article. And frankly I have such a warped sense of humor that Curb Your Enthusiasm actually entertains me in the same way Seinfeld did.. a bunch of odd events leading to a finale that is usually quite amusing.. I can see where some people might be offended by some of the jokes.. And I can only imagine what some Orthodox wisenheimers would write in a script about Conservative/Reform/Reconstructionist Jews…I get more annoyed when TV and movies portray Jews and don’t get their facts straight! One glaring example is the mistake-a-lapooza movie “Keeping the Faith” which was filmed on The Upper West Side at Bnai Jeshurun aka BJ. Just the fact that a character exited the synagogue, made a right, walked down the block and arrived at a one way street drove me bonkers since everyone knows that when you walk out of BJ and make a right you end up on West End Avenue which is a freaking 2 way street!!.
On the last day of the summer of ‘82 when I told the kid with the unusual name to keep his knees straight for kickball.. I remember telling young Arye to keep reading books to help his growing vocabulary… His Larry David article ends when he criticizes a magazine for “suggesting that David represents the paradigmatic Jew”.
I don’t even know what the hell that means!
Now time for the Clip of the Week from Kean-a-scope Theater
This weekend WFAN marks its 20 year anniversary with a big reunion weekend featuring former hosts such as 80 something year old Bill Mazer! Russ Salzberg and Spencer Ross. The station makes a bazillion dollars in advertising revenue and picked a great time to premiere on AM Radio. Personality Radio was getting more popular on AM as music was defecting to FM… Howard Stern had recently been canned by WNBC.. WABC was looking for its niche as a right wing station with Bob Grant holding down the afternoons… and country station WHN was carrying the Mets whose fans brought in huge ratings starting with the 1984 Davey Johnson resurgence. (I called WHN one March snow day asking if they would be airing the Mets exhibition game. The DJ said it wasn’t gonna be on and asked me if I wanted to hear country music instead. My answer was verbatim what Larry David said to the girl in the ski lift!) The timing was perfect that July 1, 1987…. when Jim Lampley hosted that first talk show, and if you can find an aircheck of the first moments.. I was the third caller on the very first show! Lampley will host the 6pm - 7pm hour on Sunday Night.,..
As I have mentioned in the past I was an intern at WFAN in the Fall of 1988… a big time in their history as the station went from 1050 to the old WNBC spot at 66. At that point Imus was joining the station and WMCA import Chris Russo and midday host Mike Francesa were just discovering each other.. the launching pad for the stations long time anchors in morning and afternoon drive.. ... In November 1988, I taped an interview with last original host Steve Somers for a cable show produced through Montclair State College. You will also notice his reference to luggage as we continue the Melanie McGuire theme!! Since my usual hosting site (which has the Melanie McG song) has been down all week.. it is You Tube to the rescue!! Here is the clip...
The big TV news this week is that Isiah Washington claims he was fired from Grey's Anatomy due to racism against him. This comes after he used a gay slur, but in this post Imus PC era we live in.. such activity is a no no.. and coming on the heels of the downfall of the I-man... it was inevitable that Washington would go. You wonder if Al Sharpton will jump on the pro-Isiah bandwagon but the news stations are too busy covering the murdered pregnant woman, the dead wrestler and Paris Hilton to give Al the airtime. And by the way, this weekend, when WFAN celebrates its 20th anniversary.. there will be no I-man.. you can get an I-phone though. Anyone catch that Fox clip where the reporter covering the I-Phone had her microphone stolen during her live on air report?
Looking ahead to next season. none of the new shows have caught my attention except for the new one with Kelsey Grammer as a news anchorman and the remake of The Bionic Woman. I will hold off for now on my comments on the ABC News interview with Melanie McLiar... but did you ever see anything as bizarre as the last Price is Right with Bob Barker? Was that not the craziest piece of Americana? Bob downplayed his last episode.. saving only a few comments for the very end.. Meanwhile, the studio audience consisted of a bunch of un-showered over - exhausted over caffeinated goofballs who spent 5 days camping outside CBS so they could get a seat in the studio audience for Bob’s last show… As a viewer you could definitely feel the energy, excitement, and sense of anticipation of television history in the audience during the final episode.
One other thing.. The new HBO show “John from Cincinnati”… Helloooooooooooo who the heck cast Rebecca DeMornay as the grandmother of a teenager? Are you people crazy… she’s in her late 40s and looks like shes at least 10 years younger. The actor playing her grandson is 17 and the guy playing her son is only 10 years younger than she is.. And he looks even older than she does!
This past season I didn’t really jump in on too many new shows: I started watching The Nine.. but that died a quick death.. And other than Heroes and 1 vs. 100, no new shows really caught my attention. The only other network shows I watched this season other than the ones mentioned in Part I last month were Law and Order SVU and Desperate Housewives…. I also watched half the episodes during the final season of The Sopranos… and I love Entourage.. especially the toast that came at the end of the season finale… a Spanish phrase that has terrified me to take a vow of sobriety during wedding toasts out of fear I might repeat it to a Spanish speaking audience!
There is one other show on HBO I started watching this season - Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David. One thing I liked was how both CYE and Entourage have bizarre notions about how Jews spend Yom Kippur. Entourage was incredibly hysterical when the Reform guys involved in producing the movie Medellin smuggled their cell phones into their temple and conducted business, but the Orthodox guy refuses to be interrupted at his synagogue during the holiest day of the year. There were also some Yom Kippur shenanigans on CYE and of course the ultimate was from the Barry Levinson movie Liberty Heights… where the characters sneak out of synagogue during the High Holy Days and walk over to the nearby car dealership because that is the day that the next years models are going to be released. Of course the ultimate Yom Kippur scene was in “The Jazz Singer” when Neil Diamond unleashed a fantastic rendition of Kol Nidre.
I wasn’t so sure I would like CYE.. Prior to watching it I found an article online written in The Jersusalem Post by Arye Dworken called “Is Anything Worth a Laugh?” where he criticizes some of the CYE humor as being anti Jewish. Before I get to the article, I knew Dworken many many moons ago when he was a little pisher.. We went to the same synagogue where his dad was the Rabbi (and one of the best in my book; DAS from DAS blog bears an uncanny resemblance to him) and he was actually once my camper at the local day camp 25 years ago during the summer of ‘82.
My little pishers named themselves “The Pacmen”… no doubt after future NFL Troublemaker Pacman Jones, who wasn’t even born yet! There was another kid in my bunk who had a Rather Unusual First Name…. Flash forward to August 2004 - I was reading an article in the paper about the funeral for legendary WFAN Mets announcer Bob Murphy. There in the article was a quote from a Met fan attending the funeral… and it was the same kid –with the rather unusual first name! I almost fell out of my chair… I had totally forgotten about this kid, and the last I saw of him was the last day of camp.. What do you say to a little pisher on the last day of camp? Good luck in school and if you keep your knees straight, you’ll be the best kickball player in the 2nd grade!”
Well a couple of months after seeing his name in the paper… Trophy Wife and I were at my pal Steve’s house at a costume party and they are giving out little door prizes for the costumes. Would you believe the winner was… the same former camper?? It turns out he and Steve are buddies from college, and I’ve actually seen him a couple of times since then. I always make it a point to remind him to thank his mom for the generous tip and to keep his knees straight so his kickball skills will improve.
Meanwhile my other camper Mr. Dworken wrote an article that argues that the Jewish jokes on CYE hit too close to home. In his case he was most offended by the Orthodox wisecracks… In the real world each different group busts on the other in what I hope is a good natured way.. The Reform and Conservative scratch their heads at some of the Orthodox things. And some Orthodox make wisecracks about the non Orthodox. Even some of my Orthodox relatives have made comments that we attend a Conservative synagogue… even though I met my wife there!
There is one factual boo boo in this otherwise fine article. He starts off by referring to Larry David’s masterpiece Seinfeld.. And the infamous Yadda Yadda episode that had a dentist converting to Judaism so he could make Jewish jokes. In the article he refers to that episode as an “early classic episode”.. but yadda yadda which I think is the best Seinfeld episode ever, actually aired in the later seasons..
One of the CYE episodes mentioned by Dworken is one that I saw before I read his article, and to be honest I also thought it was a bit odd. Larry goes on a skiing trip with an Orthodox friend and his daughter.. Larry is just attempting to kiss up to the guy by acting like he is religious since the guy is in charge of a transplant program and his buddy needs a new kidney. Here is a clip…
At the ski lodge the daughter who is single covers her head.. Actually, only Orthodox married women cover their heads. Then there is another scene where she jumps off a stalled ski lift she is sharing with Larry because she cant be alone with him because its getting dark outside. She asks him to jump but his reply is a rendition of Are You Nuts that is a bit vulgar for this blog. But the jumping puzzles me; I am familiar with certain laws about single women being alone with a man.. But I don’t know that that only applies to night time.. I thought its daytime too. But then again, if you are stranded on a ski lift that’s an extenuating circumstance (as Larry argued) so Im sure its ok. Heck, last Passover, a family of chusids were stranded for several hours on the Roosevelt Island ferry after the holiday started and after they were rescued they were driven home... even though observant Jews don't drive on the first 2 and last 2 days of Passover.
Another episode he mentioned just aired again recently - the one where Larry attempts to carry on an affair with a Hasidic woman. I won’t debate here if a hasidic woman would commit adultery. But they really stretched it when they showed her smoking outside her front door on the Sabbath!!! There is no way you will ever ever ever see a Chasidic woman smoking publicly on The Sabbath! Maybe in the little private room where they hide the tv? Maybe there.. But never in public. That episode also featured a very corny debate between Colby from Survivor and a Holocaust survivor about who is really a survivor. Not one of the better episodes.. They should have stuck to the old Seinfeld shtick about spoiled people owning ponies.. (Where the very old lady says…”I had a pony!”)
I cant say that I disagree with Dworken.. although I’m not too insulted by David’s humor.. But it was an entertaining article. And frankly I have such a warped sense of humor that Curb Your Enthusiasm actually entertains me in the same way Seinfeld did.. a bunch of odd events leading to a finale that is usually quite amusing.. I can see where some people might be offended by some of the jokes.. And I can only imagine what some Orthodox wisenheimers would write in a script about Conservative/Reform/Reconstructionist Jews…I get more annoyed when TV and movies portray Jews and don’t get their facts straight! One glaring example is the mistake-a-lapooza movie “Keeping the Faith” which was filmed on The Upper West Side at Bnai Jeshurun aka BJ. Just the fact that a character exited the synagogue, made a right, walked down the block and arrived at a one way street drove me bonkers since everyone knows that when you walk out of BJ and make a right you end up on West End Avenue which is a freaking 2 way street!!.
On the last day of the summer of ‘82 when I told the kid with the unusual name to keep his knees straight for kickball.. I remember telling young Arye to keep reading books to help his growing vocabulary… His Larry David article ends when he criticizes a magazine for “suggesting that David represents the paradigmatic Jew”.
I don’t even know what the hell that means!
Now time for the Clip of the Week from Kean-a-scope Theater
This weekend WFAN marks its 20 year anniversary with a big reunion weekend featuring former hosts such as 80 something year old Bill Mazer! Russ Salzberg and Spencer Ross. The station makes a bazillion dollars in advertising revenue and picked a great time to premiere on AM Radio. Personality Radio was getting more popular on AM as music was defecting to FM… Howard Stern had recently been canned by WNBC.. WABC was looking for its niche as a right wing station with Bob Grant holding down the afternoons… and country station WHN was carrying the Mets whose fans brought in huge ratings starting with the 1984 Davey Johnson resurgence. (I called WHN one March snow day asking if they would be airing the Mets exhibition game. The DJ said it wasn’t gonna be on and asked me if I wanted to hear country music instead. My answer was verbatim what Larry David said to the girl in the ski lift!) The timing was perfect that July 1, 1987…. when Jim Lampley hosted that first talk show, and if you can find an aircheck of the first moments.. I was the third caller on the very first show! Lampley will host the 6pm - 7pm hour on Sunday Night.,..
As I have mentioned in the past I was an intern at WFAN in the Fall of 1988… a big time in their history as the station went from 1050 to the old WNBC spot at 66. At that point Imus was joining the station and WMCA import Chris Russo and midday host Mike Francesa were just discovering each other.. the launching pad for the stations long time anchors in morning and afternoon drive.. ... In November 1988, I taped an interview with last original host Steve Somers for a cable show produced through Montclair State College. You will also notice his reference to luggage as we continue the Melanie McGuire theme!! Since my usual hosting site (which has the Melanie McG song) has been down all week.. it is You Tube to the rescue!! Here is the clip...
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
"The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" Premiere: The New Hit Song of The Summer of '07
For those of you whose cable blacked out during the last minute of The Sopranos right after we learned that Meadow Soprano has the same parallel parking issues that I do… what you missed was Dr. Bob Hartley/Bob Newhart woke up in bed with a half read book about "Psychotherapy for Sociopaths", rolled over in bed, and said…”Wow honey.. Did I have the weirdest dream”… and there from under the covers wearing nothing but a leather teddy with S&M spikes emerged Dr. Melfi. Odd, don’t you think?
Well today is New music Tuesday and to coincide with that… we are releasing our recorded version of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007. Check out the
Original April column for more background. You will see a link to a website that explains the song “Creeque Alley” by The Mamas and the Papas. The Ballad of Melanie McGuire c 2007 is the story of Melanie to the tune of that Mamas and Papas classic!
If you didn't click back to the April column... here is some background of the Melanie McGuire story excerpted from the archives.
She was convicted in April on charges that she barbarically murdered her husband by hacking him to bits and dumping him in a suitcase off the Chesapeake River. What really bugs me about this woman is her sheer narcissism that she thought she could just kill this poor guy and get away with it. She even had the audacity to cover her tracks by challenging EZ Pass charges that put her near the Chesapeake, and bizarre taxicab adventures explaining how she went to Atlantic City to move her husband's car as "a prank to annoy him". Does she really think she is so smart and the cops are so stupid? Constitutionally speaking she had the right to a strong defense, but does she really think her bigshot lawyer Joe Tacopina really believed she was innocent and didn't take on the case so he could get a ton of free publicity with Court TV face time?
I find it hard to believe that she acted alone, and after watching a ton of Law and Order reruns, it amazes me that her narcissism never allowed her accept the inevitable plea deal to give up an accomplice who must have helped her with the heavy chopping and the suitcase packing. Its incredibly arrogant that she wouldn’t take a plea and instead went with the Little Miss Innocent Defense - that the husband was mean to poor sweet Melanie.
For those of you who haven’t been following this sordid storyline.. Melanie McGuire has her own website soliciting money for what turned out to be her losing defense fund. According to the Melanie McGuire website, she started out life as Melanie Slate, growing up in Ridgewood, New Jersey. She graduated Middletown High School South in 1990, graduated Rutgers in 1994 and a Nursing School in 1997. Murder wasn’t the first of The Ten Commandments she opted to violate.. She started having an affair with her murdered husband while he was married to his first wife… and then started her little affair with her colleague Dr. Bradley Miller while she was 9 months pregnant.
In case you missed the trial… Melanie was accused of chopping up her husband,.. putting him in 3 suitcases and then hightailing it down the Turnpike where she dumped the suitcases off a bridge into the Chesapeake River. At the time, she was a nurse at a fertility clinic and having an affair with Fertility Doc Dr. Miller. Her trial was on Court TV and her lawyer was high profile defense att'y Joe Tacopina. She had originally reported the husband missing, shortly after they bought a new house in Warren County…. claiming he had a gambling problem and she told cops she thought he was at Trump's Taj Mahal casino. However she did admit she went down to AC.. found his car… (even though most people can't find a car in a mall parking lot; yet she found it in AC!) and moved it just to mess with his head. The cops also had a couple of ex boyfriends call her, and while secretly recording the conversations, tried to get the fellas to get Melanie to fess up. She also denied being on the highway when the suitcases were dumped… disputing EZ Pass records showing tolls paid by her. Is that the height of arrogance? Kill somebody and then order EZ Pass to remove the charges? I wonder if she haggled with the salesman when she bought those suitcases?
Thanks to the power of Google.. A lot of people meandered here for that April column.. Including the folks at the Melanie McGuire Bulletin Board at CourtTV.com who got a kick of the song when we released the lyrics... How ironic that Google was the same website Melanie used to find ways to murder her husband! That just did not look good for her when her husband ended up dead. She also poisoned him with a forged prescription she picked up at Walgreens near my old condo, and stayed at a hotel right near the Walgreens! Employees for both those establishments testified during the trial.
And now before the grand premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" c2007, its important to appreciate the sheer genius of the original Creeque Alley so in true Don Kirshner style - here it is!
And now without further ado… The Premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”! sung by myself and Neil Fein… Neil’s the guy with the good voice…
Here is some background info: First of all Neil Fein is a musical genius… It was Neil’s brilliance that brought this song to life. He put a lot of work into creating its sound.. from learning the song all the way to figuring out a pitch that I could handle. If you read the background info about the song, you will note that Mama Cass had some problems hitting certain notes and it might seem that the others might have been jealous of her superior talent by creating a song that is actually very difficult to sing. We also invited one of my German relatives whose voice sounds uncannily like Dr. Ruth Westheimer to sing some background vocals…
For now we are just embedding it.. a video will be released soon along with an mp3. In order to get the timing just right I listened to my Mamas and Papas record (!) over and over again on my $250 Sharp SG-164 New Decorator Series stereo system. The song was written in the early days of the trial - but the lyrics weren't released until the jury came back with the verdict.. I had thought about changing the line that rhymes with "Mama Cass" to "She fought with EZ Pass", but decided it would take away from the songs edginess, and basically it would have sounded like a Puff The Magic Dragon-esque folk song. If Neil and I do the summer concert scene and do day camp shows at the Garden State Arts Center, obviously we will clean it up a bit! And I really don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings with this song... as I mentioned back on April 24th the damage was done when Melanie killed this poor guy... this song is the story of her incredibly cruelty.
And yes, Neil wore his fur hat during the recording… maybe not such a great idea since this is the week animal rights activist Bob Barker is stepping down after 35 years on The Price is Right!
Now time for The Clip of the Week: Since we started today with a Bob - (Newhart), we will conclude with a Bob - Bob Barker! This Friday is Bob Barker’s final day on The Price is Right. Since today we wrote about a column from April…. here is a clip with a woman named April who bears a bit of a resemblance to...Melanie McGuire… And take a wild guess what she tries to win!
Well today is New music Tuesday and to coincide with that… we are releasing our recorded version of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c2007. Check out the
Original April column for more background. You will see a link to a website that explains the song “Creeque Alley” by The Mamas and the Papas. The Ballad of Melanie McGuire c 2007 is the story of Melanie to the tune of that Mamas and Papas classic!
If you didn't click back to the April column... here is some background of the Melanie McGuire story excerpted from the archives.
She was convicted in April on charges that she barbarically murdered her husband by hacking him to bits and dumping him in a suitcase off the Chesapeake River. What really bugs me about this woman is her sheer narcissism that she thought she could just kill this poor guy and get away with it. She even had the audacity to cover her tracks by challenging EZ Pass charges that put her near the Chesapeake, and bizarre taxicab adventures explaining how she went to Atlantic City to move her husband's car as "a prank to annoy him". Does she really think she is so smart and the cops are so stupid? Constitutionally speaking she had the right to a strong defense, but does she really think her bigshot lawyer Joe Tacopina really believed she was innocent and didn't take on the case so he could get a ton of free publicity with Court TV face time?
I find it hard to believe that she acted alone, and after watching a ton of Law and Order reruns, it amazes me that her narcissism never allowed her accept the inevitable plea deal to give up an accomplice who must have helped her with the heavy chopping and the suitcase packing. Its incredibly arrogant that she wouldn’t take a plea and instead went with the Little Miss Innocent Defense - that the husband was mean to poor sweet Melanie.
For those of you who haven’t been following this sordid storyline.. Melanie McGuire has her own website soliciting money for what turned out to be her losing defense fund. According to the Melanie McGuire website, she started out life as Melanie Slate, growing up in Ridgewood, New Jersey. She graduated Middletown High School South in 1990, graduated Rutgers in 1994 and a Nursing School in 1997. Murder wasn’t the first of The Ten Commandments she opted to violate.. She started having an affair with her murdered husband while he was married to his first wife… and then started her little affair with her colleague Dr. Bradley Miller while she was 9 months pregnant.
In case you missed the trial… Melanie was accused of chopping up her husband,.. putting him in 3 suitcases and then hightailing it down the Turnpike where she dumped the suitcases off a bridge into the Chesapeake River. At the time, she was a nurse at a fertility clinic and having an affair with Fertility Doc Dr. Miller. Her trial was on Court TV and her lawyer was high profile defense att'y Joe Tacopina. She had originally reported the husband missing, shortly after they bought a new house in Warren County…. claiming he had a gambling problem and she told cops she thought he was at Trump's Taj Mahal casino. However she did admit she went down to AC.. found his car… (even though most people can't find a car in a mall parking lot; yet she found it in AC!) and moved it just to mess with his head. The cops also had a couple of ex boyfriends call her, and while secretly recording the conversations, tried to get the fellas to get Melanie to fess up. She also denied being on the highway when the suitcases were dumped… disputing EZ Pass records showing tolls paid by her. Is that the height of arrogance? Kill somebody and then order EZ Pass to remove the charges? I wonder if she haggled with the salesman when she bought those suitcases?
Thanks to the power of Google.. A lot of people meandered here for that April column.. Including the folks at the Melanie McGuire Bulletin Board at CourtTV.com who got a kick of the song when we released the lyrics... How ironic that Google was the same website Melanie used to find ways to murder her husband! That just did not look good for her when her husband ended up dead. She also poisoned him with a forged prescription she picked up at Walgreens near my old condo, and stayed at a hotel right near the Walgreens! Employees for both those establishments testified during the trial.
And now before the grand premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire" c2007, its important to appreciate the sheer genius of the original Creeque Alley so in true Don Kirshner style - here it is!
And now without further ado… The Premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire”! sung by myself and Neil Fein… Neil’s the guy with the good voice…
Here is some background info: First of all Neil Fein is a musical genius… It was Neil’s brilliance that brought this song to life. He put a lot of work into creating its sound.. from learning the song all the way to figuring out a pitch that I could handle. If you read the background info about the song, you will note that Mama Cass had some problems hitting certain notes and it might seem that the others might have been jealous of her superior talent by creating a song that is actually very difficult to sing. We also invited one of my German relatives whose voice sounds uncannily like Dr. Ruth Westheimer to sing some background vocals…
For now we are just embedding it.. a video will be released soon along with an mp3. In order to get the timing just right I listened to my Mamas and Papas record (!) over and over again on my $250 Sharp SG-164 New Decorator Series stereo system. The song was written in the early days of the trial - but the lyrics weren't released until the jury came back with the verdict.. I had thought about changing the line that rhymes with "Mama Cass" to "She fought with EZ Pass", but decided it would take away from the songs edginess, and basically it would have sounded like a Puff The Magic Dragon-esque folk song. If Neil and I do the summer concert scene and do day camp shows at the Garden State Arts Center, obviously we will clean it up a bit! And I really don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings with this song... as I mentioned back on April 24th the damage was done when Melanie killed this poor guy... this song is the story of her incredibly cruelty.
And yes, Neil wore his fur hat during the recording… maybe not such a great idea since this is the week animal rights activist Bob Barker is stepping down after 35 years on The Price is Right!
Now time for The Clip of the Week: Since we started today with a Bob - (Newhart), we will conclude with a Bob - Bob Barker! This Friday is Bob Barker’s final day on The Price is Right. Since today we wrote about a column from April…. here is a clip with a woman named April who bears a bit of a resemblance to...Melanie McGuire… And take a wild guess what she tries to win!
Friday, June 08, 2007
Baseball Quarterly Report
Ooops... it seems like we are past the ¼ mark of the season and we’re late with the baseball quarterly report… .Sorry folks.. moving has a tendency to delay blogging, and these columns don't write themseslves! We will soon have Part II of the TV Quarterly Report… plus we’re behind on the Movie Club reviews… a new one is coming soon, and next week on this very blog we will have the world premiere of “The Ballad of Melanie McGuire” c 2007.
Before we get to today's topic.. I see that there is word that Isiah Washington has been canned from "Grey's Anatomy" because of gay slurs he tossed at a castmate. Washington can thank Al Sharpton for ABC's decision, after Sharpton demanded that Imus be fired for his nappy headed ho comment during the Imus fundraiser for kids with cancer. Imagine that.. taking money from Cancer Kids.. yet another example of the evilness of Al Sharpton. How could ABC keep Washington after Imus lost his job? Actually, most normal thinking people wouldn't have an issue if both men had kept their jobs. Also, keep in mind that many gay actors stay in the closet because it adversely affects their ability to get future acting roles, so Washington's "outing" could end up costing his now former co star millions of dollars.
Its been a great week in sports.. Jets coach Eric Mangini was on "The Sopranos" when Tony Soprano ran into him at a local eatery. (Can you imagine if Tony S. was a Met fan and the bullpen was at that restaurant?) Anaheim won the Stanley Cup… although ratings show that nobody was watching it… Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea for the NHL to move their playoff games from ESPN to the hard to find Versus network. Nothing is more exciting than a playoff OT hockey game! Also, the NBA Finals are underway and in Tennis… The French Open Final features Justine Henin Hardin who has paid tribute to the late 3 named Charles Nelson Reilly, by reverting to the more traditional two names of Justine Henin.. Although rumor has it she did so because she and her husband recently split.
As for baseball,. First we’ll take a look at the local teams.. And then we’ll take a look at the national baseball picture…
I must admit I am an odd baseball fan… I have a fantasy team so I root for odd situations to occur.. Yet my team sucks so I don’t pay too much attention to it… I’m a big Met fan.. And I don’t really like the Yankees.. But I don’t hate them as much as I did after the 2000 World Series. Of all the Yankees, the one I dislike the least is probably Alex Rodriguez.. As I have said before he is one Albert Pujols Sr, broken condom away from being the best player in baseball.
I don’t particularly like Barry Bonds. He used steroids before they were banned,… but that gray area is very hard to accept as he approaches the immortal Hank Aaron record of 755 homeruns. Watching A Rod and Bonds has led me to root for an odd combination of events. Imagine if Bonds somehow loses his ability to hit.. Kind of like the washed up player who made the comeback in the movie Mr. 3000, or George Foster when he came to the Mets…… I won’t root for the guy to get injured… but what happens if his 755th homerun comes the same day that A Rod breaks Bonds’ single season record? Wouldn’t it be the perfect punishment to his years of chemical enhancements that he breaks the Aaron record the same day his own record is broken? And which record would get more media attention? A Rod is on the Yankees.. And if Bonds record comes on one of those late night West Coast games in September.. Will anybody actually be awake in the eastern time zone to witness it? And who gets the headlines the next morning if the Bonds home run happens after the newspaper publishing deadlines?
As for the Mets… the hitters are getting bitten by the injury bug.. just as Carlos Delgado starts to wake up from his lengthy slumber.. But thankfully the pitching is really coming together. Even though they lost the 2006 pennant to St. Louis, Games 6 and 7 gave us a hint of the future since the outstanding performances of starters John Maine and Oliver Perez have continued into the 2007 season. The Mets made a couple of steals in the trades to acquire those pitchers.. Perez came over for Xavier Nady after Duaner Sanchez was injured in a taxicab crash in FL. Meanwhile, it was actually the decision to trade Ty Wigginton to Pittsburgh that got the ball rolling for Maine.. The Mets got Kris Benson and his nutty wife who they then sent to Baltimore before the 2006 season for the awful Jorge Julio who has since gone to Arizona to FL and to Colorado in a year and 2 months! Maine was a throw in in the Benson deal with Baltimore, and to top it all off,. Julio started his cross country legacy by being traded to Arizona for…. Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez… And there you have 3 of the Mets five starters!
Has any other first place team ever acquired 3/5 of their rotation with such one sided heists??
Looking back at my preseason predictions, I can see that I was as wrong as usual… Of the 6 contending NL teams I picked for the ‘07 season,… 4 look pretty solid.. I had picked the Phillies to win the division, but now it looks like they might take the wild card while the Mets win the division… a flip flop of my original pick. Then again.. The Phillies really had the Mets number this past week…. The Phillies have been shaky but much improved since their awful start and the Astros have been pretty bad in a very mediocre NL Central Division… The Brewers have been doing quite well with young Prince Fielder anchoring the infield.. Luckily all the other teams in the division have just been so awful that they may have a nice little run. However, I don’t think the Brewers are going to stay on top for much longer and if any other team in the mediocre division can rise to the top.. It really should be Houston since they have the most talent..,… even though the Astros fan may want to brace themselves for Carlos Lee’s annual 2nd half swoon.
Over in the West, my predictions of a 2 team race between LA and Arizona has been somewhat accurate even though San Diego is hanging in there, despite their old rotation. However Jake Peavy has been fantastic and the ageless Greg Maddux rolls on. . They have a great young superstar in Adrian Gonzales, and Trevor Hoffman is solid in the pen as usual.. taking the spotlight from Mariano Rivera after he became the first pitcher in baseball history to nail his 500th save.. But I don’t know long they can play with the big boys in the division. LA just got Jason Schmidt back; he twirled a 6 inning 1 hit masterpiece and that is a solid boost to the rotation.
Looking back at my original playoff predictions.. I probably have 2 of the 4 playoff teams right. NY and LA… although the Phillies and Astros both have a shot. And I seem to be on the money with the St. Louis Cardinals being the disappointment of the season. Not only did they lose most of last years rotation, but their ace Chris Carpenter has been injured and having a pitcher die in a drunk driving accident just a month after their manager was arrested in a very embarrassing DWI has made life very difficult for the defending World Champs.
Over in the AL.. the Red Sox fans are watching me eat my words.. as The Yankees are starting to think about catching Detroit for the Wild Card.. you gotta wonder how far this team will go with that pitching staff. Mike Mussina is a shadow of his former self.. Roger Clemens can’t possibly anchor a staff at his advanced age… and the revolving door of AAA pitchers who have been injured or knocked out early have just worn out an already weak bullpen.. And whatever happened to Mariano Rivera? The other surprise is how the Blue Jays have been such a disappointment… Closer BJ Ryan is out for the year and Gustavo Chacin is injured yet again…. He’s out indefinitely after 5 starts.. He only made 17 last year. The D’Rays and Orioles have been their usual losing selves… although not as bad as seasons past. The March Baseball Preview pegged the O’s bandwagon jumpers as the biggest AL disappointment of ’07.
The Central is as expected the best division in baseball. I picked the Chisox to win it with Cleveland as the Wild Card. As the Twins proved last year, you can’t count any of these teams out the way they tend to run off long winning streaks and I am far from ready to concede Chicago’s chances of making the playoffs. Cleveland has been kicking butt at home.. CC Sabathia has been amazing, and even though Cliff Lee has fallen off a bit as he recovers from injury. Fausto Carmona and Paul Byrd have picked up the slack. The Twins are getting by with young Boof Bonser joining perennial Cy Young winner Johan Santana in the rotation, and the team will only get better once catcher Joe Mauer gets back from the DL where he has been for the last month suffering from bleeding quadriceps. Ooooo.. Sounds icky.
The Angels are the team to beat in the West, as we predicted… The fans in Anaheim are hoping the Angels can be champs now that The Mighty Ducks have won the Stanley Cup! And notice how the Mariners are much improved so far this season?.. They were my pick for AL Surprise Team of 2007.
My 4 AL playoff teams were NY, Chicago, Cleveland and The Angels... It looks like 2 of those are pretty solid and I wouldn't be surprised if either the Chisox or Yankees made it as Wild Cards.. so I may have 3 out of 4 right. My pre-season pick of an Indians - Mets World Series? It still looks quite realistic.. But the Mets better root for the National League to win the All Star Game so Cleveland doesn’t get home field advantage… they have been virtually unbeatable at Jacobs Field… I’d rather see Game 1 of Pedro against CC Sabathia at Shea!
Next week: The World Premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire"... Wait till you hear how it came out!
Now time for the Clip of the Week,… next Friday is the grand finale of Bob Barker’s 50 year reign on daily TV… Here is a clip from The Price is Right in the early days.. It's incredible how expensive electronics were back then in the pre Best Buy days! In this clip from Dec. 1983, this woman hadn’t grasped the concept of a vcr! And listen out for Bob's sly little 60 Minutes wisecrack.
Before we get to today's topic.. I see that there is word that Isiah Washington has been canned from "Grey's Anatomy" because of gay slurs he tossed at a castmate. Washington can thank Al Sharpton for ABC's decision, after Sharpton demanded that Imus be fired for his nappy headed ho comment during the Imus fundraiser for kids with cancer. Imagine that.. taking money from Cancer Kids.. yet another example of the evilness of Al Sharpton. How could ABC keep Washington after Imus lost his job? Actually, most normal thinking people wouldn't have an issue if both men had kept their jobs. Also, keep in mind that many gay actors stay in the closet because it adversely affects their ability to get future acting roles, so Washington's "outing" could end up costing his now former co star millions of dollars.
Its been a great week in sports.. Jets coach Eric Mangini was on "The Sopranos" when Tony Soprano ran into him at a local eatery. (Can you imagine if Tony S. was a Met fan and the bullpen was at that restaurant?) Anaheim won the Stanley Cup… although ratings show that nobody was watching it… Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea for the NHL to move their playoff games from ESPN to the hard to find Versus network. Nothing is more exciting than a playoff OT hockey game! Also, the NBA Finals are underway and in Tennis… The French Open Final features Justine Henin Hardin who has paid tribute to the late 3 named Charles Nelson Reilly, by reverting to the more traditional two names of Justine Henin.. Although rumor has it she did so because she and her husband recently split.
As for baseball,. First we’ll take a look at the local teams.. And then we’ll take a look at the national baseball picture…
I must admit I am an odd baseball fan… I have a fantasy team so I root for odd situations to occur.. Yet my team sucks so I don’t pay too much attention to it… I’m a big Met fan.. And I don’t really like the Yankees.. But I don’t hate them as much as I did after the 2000 World Series. Of all the Yankees, the one I dislike the least is probably Alex Rodriguez.. As I have said before he is one Albert Pujols Sr, broken condom away from being the best player in baseball.
I don’t particularly like Barry Bonds. He used steroids before they were banned,… but that gray area is very hard to accept as he approaches the immortal Hank Aaron record of 755 homeruns. Watching A Rod and Bonds has led me to root for an odd combination of events. Imagine if Bonds somehow loses his ability to hit.. Kind of like the washed up player who made the comeback in the movie Mr. 3000, or George Foster when he came to the Mets…… I won’t root for the guy to get injured… but what happens if his 755th homerun comes the same day that A Rod breaks Bonds’ single season record? Wouldn’t it be the perfect punishment to his years of chemical enhancements that he breaks the Aaron record the same day his own record is broken? And which record would get more media attention? A Rod is on the Yankees.. And if Bonds record comes on one of those late night West Coast games in September.. Will anybody actually be awake in the eastern time zone to witness it? And who gets the headlines the next morning if the Bonds home run happens after the newspaper publishing deadlines?
As for the Mets… the hitters are getting bitten by the injury bug.. just as Carlos Delgado starts to wake up from his lengthy slumber.. But thankfully the pitching is really coming together. Even though they lost the 2006 pennant to St. Louis, Games 6 and 7 gave us a hint of the future since the outstanding performances of starters John Maine and Oliver Perez have continued into the 2007 season. The Mets made a couple of steals in the trades to acquire those pitchers.. Perez came over for Xavier Nady after Duaner Sanchez was injured in a taxicab crash in FL. Meanwhile, it was actually the decision to trade Ty Wigginton to Pittsburgh that got the ball rolling for Maine.. The Mets got Kris Benson and his nutty wife who they then sent to Baltimore before the 2006 season for the awful Jorge Julio who has since gone to Arizona to FL and to Colorado in a year and 2 months! Maine was a throw in in the Benson deal with Baltimore, and to top it all off,. Julio started his cross country legacy by being traded to Arizona for…. Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez… And there you have 3 of the Mets five starters!
Has any other first place team ever acquired 3/5 of their rotation with such one sided heists??
Looking back at my preseason predictions, I can see that I was as wrong as usual… Of the 6 contending NL teams I picked for the ‘07 season,… 4 look pretty solid.. I had picked the Phillies to win the division, but now it looks like they might take the wild card while the Mets win the division… a flip flop of my original pick. Then again.. The Phillies really had the Mets number this past week…. The Phillies have been shaky but much improved since their awful start and the Astros have been pretty bad in a very mediocre NL Central Division… The Brewers have been doing quite well with young Prince Fielder anchoring the infield.. Luckily all the other teams in the division have just been so awful that they may have a nice little run. However, I don’t think the Brewers are going to stay on top for much longer and if any other team in the mediocre division can rise to the top.. It really should be Houston since they have the most talent..,… even though the Astros fan may want to brace themselves for Carlos Lee’s annual 2nd half swoon.
Over in the West, my predictions of a 2 team race between LA and Arizona has been somewhat accurate even though San Diego is hanging in there, despite their old rotation. However Jake Peavy has been fantastic and the ageless Greg Maddux rolls on. . They have a great young superstar in Adrian Gonzales, and Trevor Hoffman is solid in the pen as usual.. taking the spotlight from Mariano Rivera after he became the first pitcher in baseball history to nail his 500th save.. But I don’t know long they can play with the big boys in the division. LA just got Jason Schmidt back; he twirled a 6 inning 1 hit masterpiece and that is a solid boost to the rotation.
Looking back at my original playoff predictions.. I probably have 2 of the 4 playoff teams right. NY and LA… although the Phillies and Astros both have a shot. And I seem to be on the money with the St. Louis Cardinals being the disappointment of the season. Not only did they lose most of last years rotation, but their ace Chris Carpenter has been injured and having a pitcher die in a drunk driving accident just a month after their manager was arrested in a very embarrassing DWI has made life very difficult for the defending World Champs.
Over in the AL.. the Red Sox fans are watching me eat my words.. as The Yankees are starting to think about catching Detroit for the Wild Card.. you gotta wonder how far this team will go with that pitching staff. Mike Mussina is a shadow of his former self.. Roger Clemens can’t possibly anchor a staff at his advanced age… and the revolving door of AAA pitchers who have been injured or knocked out early have just worn out an already weak bullpen.. And whatever happened to Mariano Rivera? The other surprise is how the Blue Jays have been such a disappointment… Closer BJ Ryan is out for the year and Gustavo Chacin is injured yet again…. He’s out indefinitely after 5 starts.. He only made 17 last year. The D’Rays and Orioles have been their usual losing selves… although not as bad as seasons past. The March Baseball Preview pegged the O’s bandwagon jumpers as the biggest AL disappointment of ’07.
The Central is as expected the best division in baseball. I picked the Chisox to win it with Cleveland as the Wild Card. As the Twins proved last year, you can’t count any of these teams out the way they tend to run off long winning streaks and I am far from ready to concede Chicago’s chances of making the playoffs. Cleveland has been kicking butt at home.. CC Sabathia has been amazing, and even though Cliff Lee has fallen off a bit as he recovers from injury. Fausto Carmona and Paul Byrd have picked up the slack. The Twins are getting by with young Boof Bonser joining perennial Cy Young winner Johan Santana in the rotation, and the team will only get better once catcher Joe Mauer gets back from the DL where he has been for the last month suffering from bleeding quadriceps. Ooooo.. Sounds icky.
The Angels are the team to beat in the West, as we predicted… The fans in Anaheim are hoping the Angels can be champs now that The Mighty Ducks have won the Stanley Cup! And notice how the Mariners are much improved so far this season?.. They were my pick for AL Surprise Team of 2007.
My 4 AL playoff teams were NY, Chicago, Cleveland and The Angels... It looks like 2 of those are pretty solid and I wouldn't be surprised if either the Chisox or Yankees made it as Wild Cards.. so I may have 3 out of 4 right. My pre-season pick of an Indians - Mets World Series? It still looks quite realistic.. But the Mets better root for the National League to win the All Star Game so Cleveland doesn’t get home field advantage… they have been virtually unbeatable at Jacobs Field… I’d rather see Game 1 of Pedro against CC Sabathia at Shea!
Next week: The World Premiere of "The Ballad of Melanie McGuire"... Wait till you hear how it came out!
Now time for the Clip of the Week,… next Friday is the grand finale of Bob Barker’s 50 year reign on daily TV… Here is a clip from The Price is Right in the early days.. It's incredible how expensive electronics were back then in the pre Best Buy days! In this clip from Dec. 1983, this woman hadn’t grasped the concept of a vcr! And listen out for Bob's sly little 60 Minutes wisecrack.
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