Thursday, November 26, 2009

TV Sort of Quarterly Report - Part II

Happy Thanksgiving!!

As I prepared this column a week ago, I was about to write about how aside from the last season of Monk on Fridays, there are only 2 good nights of TV – but last Wednesday as I got ready to watch Law and Order SVU – I saw a promo on ABC for the new show Modern Family that featured an appearance by Elizabeth Banks! Well homina homina homina.. I have been a fan of hers since she was in The 40 Year Old Virgin hot tub scene. I decided to skip L and O and watch Banks instead, so now I guess I will slightly amend my opinion about TV only having 2 good nights.

After stumbling into the Elizabeth Banks episode – I actually liked Modern Family. Since I am new to the show I am not as familiar with the characters like the tv columnists who have press releases to held id the different characters on these ensemble shows. The Banks character was friends with 2 gay guys who recently adopted a baby. The show is about a big extended family and I have no idea who these people are just yet, except the patriarch is Ed O’Neill from Married With Children and he apparently married a much younger woman. (I only saw 2 episodes folks). He is quite sharp and easily prevents his teenage granddaughters attempts to leave a family dinner to hang out with her boyfriend. Another character who I think was Ed’s daughter gets her husband a “thoughtful” birthday present when she gets a personalized performance from a member of her husband’s favorite 80s band… Spandau Ballet. Only it turns out the husband never liked Spandau Ballet and didn't even know any of their songs. While watching the episode, I thought it really was the guy from SB... but I later found out it was actually actor Ed Norton.

The other new show is the much hyped Cougar Town. That show was ok but one of the episodes featured a woman played by Rachael Harris playing exactly the same kind of character she played in The Hangover.. the bitchy wife! The characters have different names.. but they are exactly the same!! It seems like the actress is getting typecast… Its too early to tell if I will stay with this one.. again there are a lot of characters and I’m still trying to figure out who’s who.

This season I seem to have stopped watching longtime favorites Heroes and Desperate Housewives and have replaced them with a comedy heavy lineup. I also like that new Shark Tank show but it seems to be off the air now, replaced by V which I watched religiously when it was on NBC in the 80s.. but I have not caught the new version yet.


SUNDAYS WITH SETH AND LARRY

Hands down the funniest night on Television.. and actually it might be TOO funny.

Sundays with Seth – What the heck is in Seth MacFarlane’s DNA and what made him so brilliant?

2 weeks ago it was hour after hour of Seth. Not only his triple header of Cleveland Show, Family Guy and American Dad but he also had a variety show one night that was quite funny too. Clips of Family Guy were worked into the show and it was quite odd to see the show with a laugh track as the variety show’s audience was laughing with delight. The bit about Marlee Martlin’s voice was pretty tacky but then again is that really such a shock that a Seth MacFarlane production would be tacky?

I really can only handle 2 episodes of Sundays with Seth in one setting because I still need to save some yuks for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Therefore, I haven’t really started to watch Cleveland, but even a glance here and there is getting me hooked. The Thanksgiving episode with Auntie Mama last week was hilarious and made me realize that the transvestite character modeled after Mama on What’s Happening is part of Seth’s motivation to create this show. He grew up watching all the black sitcoms and really had no forum to spoof them on his other cartoon shows. So he did what everyone else does who has 2 cartoons. He created a 3rd. He also had a funny episode a couple of weeks ago when his step daughter was supposed to take a chastity vow.. but his son did so instead which greatly upset Cleveland and pointed out the hypocrisy that sexually active teenage boys and girls have a double standard. Maybe Adam Lambert is on to something.

Family Guy and American Dad continue to roll around with typical hysterics. The concept of Stuie cloning himself and calling his clone Bitch Stuie was priceless… including his little homoerotic bathtub time with his over-eager-to-please clone. After awhile the episodes get all mixed up in my brain and I would probably have to consult tvsquad to remember what last week’s episode was about. Cant they just alternate American Dad with Cleveland Show to prevent Seth overload? Then again, some nights AD is the best of the 3 shows. Last week’s show with Stan falling in love with a band (which I later found out was a real band - after Spandau Ballet, I thought it was all fake!) was quite amusing as he swooned over them like a lovestruck teen.

Oh that’s right, the episode showed Quagmire fessing up to Brian about why he doesn’t like him… it sounded like something from Festivus.

And speaking of which…

Curb Your Enthusiasm… possibly the best show on TV this season, and Larry David has a chance to give the person who created Twilight a run for the money for Entertainment Weekly’s Entertainer of the Year.

The season picked up where last year’s left off… as Larry (the man who inspired George on Seinfeld) hooked up with Loretta Black at the end of last season. The new season starts, and Black has cancer, and Larry wants out.. so he figures out a way to get her out of his house and decides to try to win his ex wife Cheryl back which became the theme of the season. And when Cheryl mentioned that she was happy when Larry worked on the Seinfeld show because he had “something to do”…. The wheels started turning and the Seinfeld reunion concept was born!

The show hit the jackpot the last 2 weeks with the final 2 episodes of the season and possibly the series. All 4 regulars returned to shoot the “reunion special” along with a few side characters such as Newman .. Incidentally, this reunion storyline has motivated me to start watching the Channel 5 reruns again.

A week ago Sunday “The Table Read” episode proved to be the funniest episode of a TV show since the last Newhart. A side story involving “Michael Richard”s concerns about the fictitious Groats Disease put Larry in a quandary. “Richards” worries were affecting his acting, so Larry decides to have an acquaintance, Groats survivor Danny Duberstein talk to him to calm him down. Only it turns out that unbeknownst to David, Duberstein died of the disease two months earlier. So who does he turn to? Leon. And as part of the plot Leon… a black man about to meet “Michael Richards” after the real Richards racist rant at a comedy club… was forced to impersonate Jewish accountant Danny Duberstein.

And while all of us were licking our chops about Leon confronting “Richards”… Leon while watching on the set points out how totally clueless he is about the Seinfeld characters and when Newman walks in to the angry “Hello Newman”, Leon looks at Larry offstage and says…”Who is that funny fat bastard?”

And the “Richards – Fake Duberstein” confrontation… turns out to be not about black anger towards Richards rant.. but instead was a showcase for JB Smoove to earn the Best Comedy Actor Emmy. The improvised scene between the 2 was absolutely hysterical with Duberstein announcing he had 3 bar mitzvahs because he has to recharge it every 13 years.

The only drawback to the episode was when Marty Funkhouser meets Jerry Seinfeld and proceeds to tell him a funny joke that was really not in character to him… but is exactly what Super Dave Osborne would have done. Both characters are played by the same actor, but it seemed out of place. Kind of like when Ted Knight appeared on The Love Boat… he didn’t ask Captain Stubing how Mary and Lou were doing??

And even though the finale was not quite as funny, it was still pretty pretty good with Larry almost sabotaging his entire show when he and “Jason Alexander” get into a bit of a snit. Jason quits and Larry decides to play George which means he was playing himself – sort of. “Jerry” was also funny and fired off a few classic zingers… almost as if he knew that he had to go the extra mile because JB Smoove was not appearing in this episode.

Ultimately the season wraps up with a satisfying ending and personally, I can’t wait for the DVD to come out.. I think the last 2 shows looped together would make a hysterical episode..


MONDAY SITCOMS ON CBS

CBS tweaked its lineup this season… How I Met Your Mother is now on at 8pm and it continues to try to be the follow up ensemble to the Seinfeld/Friends generation. Two and a Half Men may be a one joke sitcom, but it continues to chug along. But by far the best comedy of the night – The Big Bang Theory. Now that certain types of social awkwardness are referred to as Assbergers… it seems that Sheldon is not just goofy.. but has been diagnosed. His roommate Leonard might be bizarrely dating the beautiful neighbor Penny, but the Sheldon - Penny acting chemistry is quite remarkable,

Last season the seeds were planted – no pun intended – when she got Sheldon a napkin used by Leonard Nimoy. Geek heaven! But the episode a week ago was classic when she fell in the shower and needed Sheldon to pull her out naked and get her to a hospital. There are not a lot of comedy teams out there that are as funny as these two, and I never realized Kaley Cuoco had the potential to be such a great straight man.

Many might question if Sheldon is straight after that episode although he admitted to peeking when she made him put her clothes on with his eyes closed so he could take her to the hospital to treat her injured arm. She also asked him not to put her panties on… and instead went commando in skimpy shorts which didn’t seem to phase Sheldon as it would the average heterosexual man in that situation. Instead, he lectured her on the importance of wearing clean underwear just in case she was in an accident and needed to go to the Emergency Room.... even though she was actually on her way to the Emergency Room!



PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK- Pumpy is under .500 after last weeks loss and is now 5-6. This week in honor of Thanksgiving we go to New England where the Patriots are on the road against the unbeaten Saints which could be a very exciting Monday Night Game. The Saints are 3 point faves. Sayeth The Pump:

“Lets' take the saints, because I'm a big Louis Armstrong fan and I like his rendition of "When The Saints Go Marching In"

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK

Not too thrilled with the Thanksgiving Game and the early blogging schedule. Last week the hot streak continued at 2-1 for a season to date record of 17-16.

DENVER 6 ½ doggies over The Giants – I know the Broncos have played crummy lately but has anyone seen the Giants lately? And Nets announcer (0-15 already this young season) Chris Carrino is calling the game on the radio and I predict he will call his first and only win for 2009! But they won’t cover.

Raiders 13 ½ doggies over DALLAS – Huge spread that the Cowboys will not cover. I was more interested in today's early game but it kicks off just one hour after my 11:30 posting.. so lets take the late game instead. If both Dallas and Denver win, the Giants division hopes will be finished.

Washington 9 doggies over THE EAGLES – The Skins have been somewhat decent these last few weeks.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

TV Sort of Quarterly Report - Part I: The NBA

This year we scrapped the long time tradition of a “regular” quarterly TV report, instead opting to chime in on a semi regular non organized basis about stuff related to the boob tube. And now that the World Series is over, it’s time for my fall season to start with a look at some trends for this season. And we start with Part I... What I Won’t Watch This Year… and it is a list of 1 .

WHAT I WON’T WATCH

The New Jersey Nets!! What a disgrace they are.. not only because their record is 0-13, but because Commissioner David Stern allowed this situation to develop.

Several years back, the Nets were actually a pretty decent team… making it to the finals twice. They had 3 solid stars in Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson. But when Bruce Ratner got his grubby paws on the franchise, it slowly returned to its embarrassing status as the joke the franchise used to be in the pre-Jason Kidd era. All this guy wanted to do was make a ton of money by building his little dream complex in Brooklyn,.. building an arena for the Nets and knocking out some homes through eminent domain in the process. But as the project gets closer to the end of the year “Crap or get off the toilet” deadline, it seems that the Nets are getting lost in the shuffle in this disaster.

A small powerful group in Brooklyn is flexing its muscles to keep the Nets from moving there, and while Ratner has been addressing those issues, he has been doing his best impression as Nero… because as he fiddles, the Nets burn. The team is the biggest joke in the NBA and appears incapable of winning a game. They suck so bad that they even blew a huge lead to Minnesota on Opening Night only to lose at the buzzer… and Minnesota has lost every game ever since.

Its obvious Bruce doesn’t give a crap about the Nets, and his real estate deal might end up going through without the new basketball arena. He already has a buyer for the team, but its immediate future will be determined soon when the decision is made if it is Brooklyn bound. This presents an interesting dilemma. The team has gone down the toilet during this intermediate status… but if they end up moving, are they just going to let the team lose every single game till they move in a couple of years? Why would any local fan want to pay to watch a lame duck team at the Meadowlands Arena if they know that the team is moving away in a couple of years??

But if the Brooklyn deal falls through… and the eminent domain opponents are doing their best to keep Ranter’s grubby money hungry paws off these properties… THEN, the team should make a commitment to staying in NJ and do something.. either a quick change of ownership to clear away the stench of Ratner… and announce a firm commitment to rebuild the franchise as quickly as possible… even if it means the team is going to head south to the Prudential Center in Newark.

But either way, this situation cannot continue, and I’m curious as to why Commissioner Stern has not stepped in to help fix this mess.

And as the Nets inch closer towards the most pathetic start in NBA history… 0-17 held by Miami and The Clippers… LA's 2nd class citizen at the Staples Center has its own bizarre controversy going on with their announcing team.

It seems that long time announcers Ralph Lawler and Mike Smith were calling the game the other night when the Memphis backup center Hamed Haddidi was brought into the game. Haddidi is the first ever Iranian player in the NBA and as Lawler and Smith discussed this, an irate caller placed an angry call to Fox Sports about the exchange (and we have the transcript) and among his complaints about this non issue were the announcers mispronounced the country by calling it Eye-ran instead of the way Christina Ammanpour pronounces it.

Sayeth the Lawler and The Smith (from the LA Times)


Smith: “Look who’s in.”

Lawler: “Hamed Haddadi. Where’s he from?”

Smith: “He’s the first Iranian to play in the NBA.” (Smith pronounced Iranian as “Eye-ranian,” a pronunciation that offended the viewer who complained.)

Lawler: “There aren’t any Iranian players in the NBA,” repeating Smith’s mispronunciation.

Smith: “He’s the only one.”

Lawler: “He’s from Iran?”

Smith: “I guess so.”

Lawler: “That Iran?”

Smith: Yes.

Lawler: “The real Iran?”

Smith: “Yes.”

Lawler: “Wow. Haddadi – that’s H-A-D-D-A-D-I.”

Smith: “You’re sure it’s not Borat’s older brother?”

Smith: “If they ever make a movie about Haddadi, I’m going to get Sacha Baron Cohen to play the part.”

Lawler: “Here’s Haddadi. Nice little back-door pass. I guess those Iranians can pass the ball.”

Smith: “Especially the post players.

Lawler: “I don’t know about their guards.”


So lets get this straight… Iran is a country that wants to nuke Israel (and the Palestinians who live there too!), yet 2 announcers get into trouble for mispronouncing it?? How absurd is that? I think the political correctness has gone too far.. and Im surprised the Post’s Phil Mushnick hasn’t written about this…(although maybe he has?) Mushnick always points out how Jay-Z the Nets part owner has songs out there that use the N-word… but that’s ok? But mispronounce Iran? Suspension!!

What the heck is going on David Stern??

Stay tuned for Wednesday: Part II of the TV Quarterly Report… We’re posting early to get the Giants and Cowboys picks in!!

PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK: Pumpy and UGF ran the table last wk and both are .500. This week Pumpy tries to improve his .500 record and since Oprah announced she is gonna end her show, for this week’s game we go to Chicago where the Bears are 3 point home doggies to the Eagles. Sayeth the Pump:

"I watched Oprah last week when she had the woman from Connecticut who was attacked by the monkey. But when she showed her face I couldn't "bare" to watch... so take the Bears!"


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: We’re all evened up at 15-15 after last week’s 3-0… Now time to build up a winning streak.

Atlanta 6 ½ doggies over GIANTS – The ol’ cop out “The Giants will win but not cover” pick.. but do the Giants deserve a TD advantage after a 4 game losing streak?

Washington 11 doggies over DALLAS – Maybe last week’s results were an omen??

CHICAGO 3 doggies over Philadelphia – The Sunday Night game airing opposite Sunday’s with Seth and the Curb Your Enthusiasm Sunday Finale?? I ain’t watching this one unless Danny Duberstein and Michael Richards are the guest announcers talking about Peaches!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Willis and The Liberals

As much as everyone thinks the microblogging on Facebook and Twitter are leading to the demise of regular blogging… sometimes you see something on a Facebook status update that sparks an idea for an entire column.

Two weeks ago NWOW presented an idea for government health insurance funding issues by proposing it be designed as a tax deductible tax so those of us who itemize our tax returns can get something out of it by writing off the tax. Last Saturday Night, the health bill moved closer to reality when the House of Representatives passed its version and now it is off to the US Senate.

I already see Facebook emails from people concerned about the Senate version keeping a provision involving a $750 excise tax imposed on American citizens living outside the USA. This does not exist in the House version, but many are concerned that if it is included in the Senate version and becomes part of the law, that many Americans living overseas who get insurance there, will still have to pay into this program too. This affects a lot of Americans who made Aliya and relocated to Israel but retained their American citizenship. I guess it probably makes more sense that the bill applies to American “residents” and not citizens.

Of course the new benefits exclude illegal immigrants. And I guess we won’t be hearing as much about this topic on CNN now that Lou Dobbs has left the network. Is he starting a new space website just like the last time he bolted away from CNN? However, you can call me a liberal on this particular issue, but I disagree about barring illegals from getting car insurance. Talk to somebody whose car got smacked by an illegal and you will understand the logic on this one. What happens if an illegal immigrant hits you? How are you supposed to pay for the repairs? Who pays your damages if your car gets totaled?

Anyway, I was reading FB on Sunday morning after the House vote, and I was mortified to see that a friend of mine who I will call Willis had posted a status update along the lines of ….”Health Care Reform 1, Women’s Reproductive Rights 0”… leading me to loudly proclaim…”Whatchu talking about Willis?” Indeed his friends comments started to pile on and virtually all of them were agreeing with him!

As it turned out, there was a bit of a misunderstanding among some of Willis’s friends whether the House version allowed government funding for abortions for women who are rape or incest victims or whose lives are in danger. I decided to chime in and correct the assumption that all abortions were banned by the health bill. One woman subsequently posted that that it’s a good thing she never plans to hook up with a man because it is unlikely she will ever get pregnant and need an abortion. .

At that point, Willis came up with his 2nd “Watcha talking about Willis” moment! Sayeth The Willis: "What happens if she becomes artificially inseminated and then changes her mind?"

And its moments like this that make me realize that normal thinking people like myself… non liberal Democrats… are really the only sane people left in this world! How crazy is that scenario that an “I changed my mind” abortion should be paid for by anybody other than the mind changer? Taxpayers should be paying for that?? If the fetus was prescreened for some illness, it’s understandable… but the Willis “oh I changed my mind” scenario? Of course, there are situations involving “poor people” who can’t afford an abortion. Hopefully those who are forced to keep those babies will have provisions in this bill for prenatal care and arrangements after the baby is born that it gets medical care or an adoptive home.

And its too bad that just when the Republicans start to move to the center and think like normal Democrats like myself, their party then decides to move farther to the extreme right. Why else was a no name like Sarah Palin on the 2008 GOP ticket instead of somebody more experienced like Rudy Giuliani? Oh yeah, Rudy is pro choice… just like a lot of decent Republicans like former NJ Governor Christie Todd Whitman. But the Republicans want to move further away from the normal Democrats while the liberals wrongly assume that their branch of the Democratic party is more representative of how my peeps think.

Even this week, when the Washington sniper was executed… that was an event that brought the Democrats and Republicans together. I am against the death penalty but when it comes to certain cases, its impossible to feel sympathetic towards somebody like John Muhammad or Timothy McVeigh. Yet there was a fringe of law students who were upset about the Muhammad execution because they felt he didn’t have enough time to prepare his appeal! Hellooooooooo.. he was arrested in 2002.. that’s plenty of time to figure out an appeal!

And its hard to tell if Willis was serious or just being sarcastic. But one thing my fellow pro choicers need to accept is that the pro lifers are entitled to their opinion, and we need to respect them even though we think they are wrong. And as long as the Pro Lifers don’t shove it down my throat… (or shoot abortion doctors) they are entitled to disagree with me. I really think that most Republicans are moving towards the middle of the road on this issue and are not represented by the crazy extremists in that party… just as I feel that the liberals are not the face of the Democrats!

But the Liberals are not the only ones who embrace bizarre causes…The Republicans do it too. Carrie Prejean was a no name beauty pageant contestant who was asked an irrelevant (to the pageant) question by the no talent Perez Hilton about gay marriage. She answered the question honestly and now that she has been dethroned for an “unrelated” reason, she is the poster child for the future Young Republicans… She appeared on Larry King the other night… got a little flustered by the line of questions… and then threatened to walk off the show AND claimed Larry broke a pre interview deal by allowing a live phone caller to call in…(who by the way had a heckuva tough question that never got answered). I have watched his TV show and listened to his radio show for years and I never ever heard a guest say Larry King violated a no live phone call rule… but every time the not so slick Prejean is criticized on a non Fox News show, the Republicans blame the liberal media. I don’t care that she is against gay marriage (I have a similar opinion covered in last week’s column), but just because nutjobs criticize her does not mean that this 22 year old beauty queen is the future hope of Republicans.

Its too bad we live in a society that has so many extreme right wingers who want ALL abortions to be outlawed… including victims of rape and incest and women whose lives are in danger. Its that fringe group that has me on the pro choice team… even though I am not a particular fan of abortion. Nonetheless, as long as woman has the right to choose… that is entirely up to her.. as long as she pays for it. But to have taxpayer money fund certain abortions? I think the liberals are just asking too much.


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK

Last week Pumpy improved to 4-5 by accurately picking the Chargers. This week we go to Washington which is a lot safer today now that the Sniper has been executed. The Redskins are home against Denver and are 3 1/2 point doggies. Sayeth the Pump: "I like Red Skin Potato Salad... so take the Redskins!"

UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK

Last week we went 2-1 for a year to date record of 12-15. Is this the week that we run the table and reach .500?

GREEN BAY 3 doggies over Dallas - I'm still not accepting that the Cowboys might finish with a better record than the Giants.

SAN DIEGO 1 1/2 faves over The Eagles - Maybe that win last week gave the Chargers some momentum to knock the Eagles down a notch.

CAROLINA 1/2 doggies over Atlanta - If these games all work out, the Giants would come back from the bye week in a much better position to get to the playoffs!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Bloggiversary #4 = A Busy Week for Harold Moskowitz!

Hey next week is 4 years since we launched this wacky blog! Mazel Tov!

Well what a fun week this has been for my fellow Mets fans! I wasn’t paying close attention, but I assume that the media was getting excited about 2010 and a healthy full season of Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltraaaaan… and wondering if David Wright is going to hit more than 10 home runs next season. Whats that??? Nobody’s talking about this… Well if that’s the case please let me know when the Yankee hype is over so I can crawl out of my shell while my Pin Striping Yankee fan Trophy Wife walks around bellowing.. “Theeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankeeeeeeeeees Win!”.

How does a Met fan write a column about a Yankee parade even though last year’s column about Yankee Stadium was mentioned on other blogs? Here are my observations.

Ed Koch should have worn a warmer coat.

I was rereading the coverage of the Giants parade last year and frankly I don’t know that I can write about the Yankee Parade with as much love and affection. I don’t hate the Yankees.. and I actually was happy for them when they won in 96, 98 and 99. But watching that celebration at Shea at the end of the 2000 season… (and also at the same time being thankful I missed the Game 1 Armando Benitez meltdown due to the celebration of my favorite Jewish Holiday of Simchas Torah), I just don’t get too excited about hearing “Theeeeee Yankeeeeeeeeeees Win!”. In reality, in the post 2000 era, I actually enjoyed that 7 game loss to the Arizona D’backs in the 2001 World Series.

I work from home on Fridays and usually have the TV on in the background.. but when I turned on Channel 9 to get my morning dose of People’s Court…(which next week will feature an episode with the original Judge Wapner) whose NYC taping schedule baffles me.. When does Harvey Levin have time to fly in if he is on the West Coast taping TMZ every day? Anyway, the Wendy Williams Show was on Channel 9 which was when I realized that 5 had started its coverage of the Parade and bumped Wendy over to 9. For those of you who are not in the NY Metropolitan Area- both stations have the same owners and they juggle around their shows and newscasters on a regular basis.

I was a tad disappointed to see at 11 that all the local stations had picked up on the Parade Coverage. I was hoping to catch the Jerry Springer Show… a program whose penultimate segment has to be the wildest 7 minutes on TV. The first 45 minutes of the show feature well acted confrontations between cheating couples who feel compelled to reveal their extra ciriccular indiscretions on the Jerry Springer Show in front of a live audience. Yet when the inevitable fights break out… each performer seems to know exactly where on the stage they need to be for this spontaneous outburst of emotion. Ya gotta like up and coming young actors.

But after 4 or 5 segments of all this emotional drama.. the best part is when the audience starts to chime in… As a homage to the old Phil Donahue show, this is the segment where Jerry walks through the audience microphone in hand and gives audience members a chance to shoot off wisecracks at the guests. As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up watching Hollywood Squares and got a kick out of the quick wisecracks answers shot off by the celebrities when the questions were posed to them by Peter Marshall. Of course as a kid, I never knew that the witty comebacks were rehearsed in advance… I just thought that as kids grow up we develop an ability to have lightning quick comebacks. This is why I’m amazed that these redneck Springer guests can just sit there serenely moments after painful confrontations, and not only listen to these audience attacks.. but respond with witty comebacks with such speed that would make Paul Lynde and George Gobel blush!

And whereas a lot of people have complained that the November World Series ends too late, the cool thing is this parade took place after the Election… which means the politicians weren’t schmoozing as much as usual. I was just rereading the Giants Parade column from last February and I had this to say about our recently defeated Governor Corzine,… And… notice how much has changed politically since that parade which was held on Super Tuesday!

“First of all, I didn't vote for Hillary because she is the NY Junior Senator and she should have been at The Giants Ticker Tape Parade on Tuesday. I know she is campaigning.. but this is an important event... and Governor Spitzer was there as was Senator Schumer. And as for New Jersey's politicians.. why wasn't Governor Corzine at Giants Stadium for the big celebration Tuesday afternoon? Corzine was too busy to attend that event.. but had enough time to go to The Skylark Diner in Edison for a Tuesday Night Hillary Clinton Supporters Party,... just a few short miles away from Route 440 where he is planning to plunk down some toll booths!”

This leads to my 2nd commentary for today… the election results. It looks like Corzine just never quite bonded with New Jersey voters. Anybody who listened to the debates had no business voting for Chris Christie because it was quite clear he was clueless about running the state’s finances.. even though he did an excellent job as a crime fighter and should personally thank young Mr. Dweck of Deal whose snitching out of so many people while his own ass was in such deep trouble gave Christie a great popularity boost.

Actually, Chris Daggett seemed to have a better grasp with his tax ideas…. But ultimately I look back at 4 years ago when I started this blog out of my old condo and was paying a few thousand a year in property taxes and now as we reach the end of his tenure I live in a house and my property taxes are substantially higher…. Actually my house’s property taxes are up by 25% since I moved here 2 ½ years ago... and with declining home values!

A friend of mine who is a Republican Yankee fan was drooling over his twin victories this week, but my fellow Jerseyans who think that those property taxes are going to drop… … really need a reality check if they think that Christie is going to change anything. All he will do is cut services and promise tax cuts, but the local towns will lose aid and will just raise property taxes to keep afloat. Don’t people get it… there really is no such a thing as a tax cut… especially if you can’t run a deficit. So for all those who are orgasmic about the Reagan tax cuts… keep in mind that it led to an inflated deficit which lasted until President Clinton got rid of it only to see 8 years of Bush to just dig us back into yet another hole.

Also… Timmy whose tummy problems were part of the legend of the Giants Super Bowl win…(see the Feb. 2008 archives) asked me how people could vote for Christie after he loaned money to a colleague… many point out that Corzine loaned money to Karen Golding to bail her outta jail after she was arrested for stalking Democratic big macher Joseph Cryan. Lo and behold… as soon as the last vote was counted Golding announced that she wasn’t stalking him but had actually been involved a 3 year affair with him! As former Yankee announcer Mel Allen used to say…”How ‘bout that?”

And finally, regarding gay marriage.. the definition of the word is technically between a man and a woman although Washington State and its Referendum 71 seems to get it right. I have no issue with gay partners being entitled to EVERYTHING a spouse is entitled to…(including a week of hearing Theeeeee Yankeeeeeeees Win!) And Washington State’s Election Day vote for Referendum 71 better known as the “everything but marriage” law makes so much sense, I’m surprised all the states don’t adopt that..

Frankly at this stage.. people voting against allowing benefits for homosexual partners are mostly the anti abortion religious wackos who still live under a rock with other crackpots who think that a gay lifestyle is sinful… aka the Right Wing Republicans who misinterpret a line in Leviticus in the Old Testament. They are the same bunch who knocked Scozzafava out of the House Race in Upstate New York because she is not conservative enough for the Palin era. Don’t these right wingers realize that more gay men mean less abortions? Now if you will excuse me…. Trophy Wife will rewatch the World Series, while I am going to read the first 70 Referendums.

And Harold Moskowitz from the headline? He changed his name and everybody now knows him as…. John Sterling!


PUMPSTRADAMUS PICK OF THE WEEK – His pick of the Giant mess left by the Psychics Club meeting at his house fell short as he dropped to 3-5. This week we go to New York... the home of the Yankees as the last ticker taped team – The NY Giants are 5 point favorites over The Chargers. Sayeth The Pump:

“I just came back from the cell phone kiosk at the mall and bought myself this awesome new charger.. so Go Chargers!”


UNBIASED GIANTS FAN PICKS OF THE WEEK: Unbiased? I wrote more about the Giants parade in a column about the Yankee parade! Anyway last week we went 1-2 to drop to a very mediocre 10-14. (Last yr after 8 weeks we were 16-8)

San Diego 5 doggies over THE GIANTS – The Giants will win this one by a field goal

EAGLES 3 faves over Dallas – Pick your poison. I dislike the Eagles less.

Arizona 3 doggies over CHICAGO – Green Bay and Atlanta have easy games against Tampa Bay and Washington which means a Chicago win combined with an unspoken of Giant loss would send the Giants to the bye week out of the playoff race!


CLIP OF THE WEEK: As much as I don’t like The Yankees, I admire George Steinbrenner because he pours so much heart and money into his team even though he is nowhere near the wealthiest owner. It’s a bummer that his health is keeping him from enjoying this World Series as much as he did in the past. Here is a clip from Seinfeld.. a show he never appeared on… or did he??